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Innocent giant pacific octopus residing off Vancouver Island in Cascadia suffer malicious attack by remotely operated human submarine.

Octopus find nice metal box left on sea floor. Box contain valuable information revealing whereabouts of tasty salmon. Law of the ocean: Finders keepers (see: Hermit v. Fiddler, 1987).

Human submarine stealing box. Octopus protecting property. Human submarine blast octopus with mechanical siphons, rip two arms off octopus, steal box. Octopus pale with distress. Octopus demand restitution.

Human submarine operators record crime, post crime video to Internet, make false accusations, show no shame.

All octopus protest human crime. Will bite transoceanic Internet cables unless salmon information box returned to rightful octopus owner. Octopus lose salmon information, humans lose celebrity gossip.

we're left without the Earth's magnetic field, which protects us from lethal cosmic rays

http://zapatopi.net/afdb/

Note the instructions to avoid commercially produced tinfoil beanies!

I think you're thinking about the Republic of Cascadia and no, we do not currently count Alaska as being within our borders. I will say that this sasquatchian would not be adverse to a petition from the Alaskan peoples to rally under our banner.

All these inaccuracies are the direct result of primitive imperial measurements. It is high time for metric time!

You need a two layer TFH with shiny on the inside AND out!!!

From TFA:
As per best practices, all three designs were constructed with the double layering technique described elsewhere [2].

uh, these guys promised me it would: http://zapatopi.net/afdb . They said the AFDB would protect me from mind control. Can I sue?

Not only is MindGaurd a FOSS compatible with GNU/Linux but its technologically light years ahead of your quaint little tinfoil hats.

Thats right, they just dont want you to buy your foil hats right here

That's right, it says so clearly in the instructions.

For some reason, they always laughed at me when I went to the local disco
wearing my stylish Aluminum-Foil-Deflector-Beanie!

But NOW, no one will even know!
Maybe I'll finally pick up a chick after all these years!

You werent wearing your hat were you?

Yes, yes it is...

There's also the Colossal Squid which is even bigger than the Giant Squid, and apparently one scary ass SOB. Here's a BBC article. An some more coverage here.

It's rare and only 6 captures are known, all of which were dead.

In the meantime, I think we can clearly see that, like global temperatures, the number of Saturnian Spokes is inversely related to the number of pirates. The decline in pirates has obviously caused an increase in the number Noodly Saturnian Spokes.

This is true. And the decline in Pirates is clearly due to the ancient, noble fued between the Pirates and the Ninja. Clearly this senseless violence must stop, lest the world come that much closer to the Great Heat Death, from which only the Lord Kelvin, who Loves US, and wants to CONSERVE OUR SOULS FROM ENTROPY, can protect us from.

Fnord.

They also have some nice little javascript clocks you can add to your webpage if you are an übernerd.

Don't forget to only trust the ones you make!

Oh, that's a rip-off. You can make your own far cheaper, and it blocks out psychotronic mind control rays at the same time.

Instructions here

Product you may be interested in.

PS: Re the article you are referencing- that network information is, ahem, old hat. Orkut.com infrastructure moved to the Googleplex almost a year ago.

Insightful?

Obviously someone is moderating under the influence of some serious designer drugs while wearing their aluminum foil deflector beanie... [Or perhaps those fumes are really strong...] ;)

Seriously, now. Who actually thinks we need to be worried about the vast political power of PETA?

Hey, you need one of these.

You can go here and find something to help you take back control! Hurry, I can see it's not yet too late for you!

Worse... it's a new species of NWO BLACK Helicopter. If we allow these things to reach maturity... it'll be very, very, ugly.

of course you know that belgium doesn't exist...

If you don't mind a little more product placement, I think you could use one of these:

http://zapatopi.net/afdb.html

No shit? I don't want to be around when some mad scientist crosses one with this.

i thought everybody knew those kittens...
http://www.plus613.com/image/149

avoid thought stealers, wear tfh.
http://zapatopi.net/afdb.html

I think that Microsofts solution it to require their employees to wear these foil lined hats. http://zapatopi.net/afdb.html The only problem I see is that while it does shield the employees thoughts it also shuts out Microsoft mind control. Its a real dilemma

You sinners will experience the most complete death of all! The Great Heat Death! For Kelvin is Lord!

Your heresy in not believing in the Phlogiston is unnacceptable to the Great Lord Kelvin, Giver of Laws, who, because he Loves us, and wants to Convserve our Souls from Entropy, Came to Us as a Man, who is the Second Wrangler and the Senior Wrangler, to Give us His Laws!

Shame on you, preaching this heresy!

instructions here (scroll down)

...not just for your head. It can also stop aliens (and terrorists) from reading your passport!

Ha! You won't fool me! You're just trying to get me to take off my Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie! Well, it won't work! I've had voices in my head a lot louder than you try! So if you think that you'll---

What? OK, Mom. I'll go take my meds now.

Here you go:
Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie

Is to sell it to one of the tin foil hat people. there is quite a market for it, just imagine, if your whole apartment is covered in foil, then you can finally take your cap off while at home.

Worse! Pentium III marked the start of copper CPUs. This prevents you from running anti-pschotronic software like MindGuard. Its no coincidence that the government required the corporations to go to copper once Echelon started.

Faker!

Its thoughts like this that allowed the computer manufacturers to secretly change the cores of microprocessors to copper. Now they can control your mind over the internet!

Copper does nothing to pschotronic radiation! You can protect your computer with MindGuard (only works if you still have an aluminum CPU), and yourself with lead or aluminum shielding (The website linked is about alien abductions. They're a little kooky, but the technology works well against psychotronic radiation). Since lead is cumbersome and toxic, aluminum is recommended.

I need to wear my AFDB http://zapatopi.net/. This is just a ploy to strengthen mind control.

Getting the world to switch calendars will prove to be as hard as getting the USA to switch to metric...

Especially considering that even the world that adopted most of the metric system still hasn't adopted Metric Time.

Here is all the info you need!

the affects of these anamolous waves, it also protects you from other nasty waves as well HERE

Does that mean the satellite is programming user brains with commercials?

Keep your tinfoil hat on just in case. Informative mod, please.

Aren't you all a bit hot in those tinfoil hats?

Dude, the shiny part goes on the outside!

http://zapatopi.net/afdb.html go there for your own sake fight the evil corporations save yorself.

It's been done. Sort of.

I thought metric time already invented?

Or at least it was at the time of this posting: 41.911 UMT. :)

Or another case of paranoia by a wannebe oppressed rebel in his own mind? Just another idea to consider.

Here. Maybe this chart will help.

http://zapatopi.net/blackhelicopters/bhchart.png

I agree, simple and easy to follow instructions here.

The Republic of Cascadia is not a member of the UN.

There is, of course, a problem with this. The guy I bulk order my Tin Foil Hats from won't accept them. Maybe this guy will take them.