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Review: The Rock as a Hard Place

Posted by JonKatz on from the slugging-it-out-with-the-Scorpion-King dept.

Sorry, but I really love this trash, even as I grasp why more of the world hates us every day. The Scorpion King is as American a film as anything the Duke might have made, an astonishing mish-mash of digital effects, hip-hop, kung fu, Mighty Mouse,Indiana Jones, the Mummy (and his Return -- from which the idea for this enthusiastically stupid movie was spawned), and the World Wrestling Federation, to whom the film owes its star and its theatrical notions of head-butting machismo. If they ever give an Oscar for lacerations, grunts and thumps, this one is a runaway favorite. Or as the Rock says about 100 hundred times in the movie, "Live Free, Die Well." If you need escapist entertainment from your hyper teched-up lives, this is the movie for you. If the Rock can survive tyrants, thieves, traitors, arrows, impalement, knives, spears, swords, sandstorms, fire, poison, snakes and killer ants, you can get through a boring day at work.

It seems oxymoronic to bother with plot lines in a movie like this. The Rock plays an Akkadian assassin named Mathayus who takes 20 blood rubies to go kill the sorceress (Kelly Hu) who advises the barbarian warlord Memnon (Steven Brand) on battle strategy and is thus revered by his vicious marauding armies. Boy, is this Memnon a mean leader. He butchers women and kids, destroys civilizations and plays headgames with his sorceress. Digital effects have conjured up many strands of marauding armies, but all of them look the same, like ants in battle-armor racing across a barren plain with angry clouds swirling overhead.

It's hard to imagine any human, even the Rock, taking the drubbing he takes in this movie. The Duke was a wuss in comparison. He's buried in sandstorms, tossed off of parapets, run over by wagons,and stabbed, sliced, shot (by arrows) and gored countless times. On top of all that, he has to watch helplessly while Memnon butchers his brother. The Sorceress, on the other hand, turns out to be a babe who strolls around in thongs, does kung fu, and relates instantly to the Rock's sophisticated style of combat and international diplomacy. The Sorceress makes it clear that she loses her powers if she ever has sex. You'll never guess what happens.

The hip-hop background in a movie allegedly set in ancient Babylon is pretty neat. And in one of the oddest roles of his or any actor's career, Michael Clarke Duncan (The Green Mile) plays another lummox, the Nubian King/Warrior Balthazar. He's almost as big as Rock, and the early confrontation between the two conjures up those great dinosaur battles in Jurassic Park. This role gives Clarke, who is way too good an actor for this, the chance to wear dreads and spout all sorts of racial jokes at the Rock, whose face seems locked either amusement or anger throughout the entire 88 minute movie.

The digital effects are cheesy, almost throwaways, and the film's makers have no illusions about the Rock's acting skills, so he starts fighting almost from the opening shot and keeps on fighting to the end. I have to say I had fun watching this silliness. It's such an American fusion of different cultural styles, and it's so undemanding a movie, that you leave the theater smiling and relaxed. And the kids who thronged the theater where I saw it loved it, whooping and laughing throughout. The humorless censors loose in the land don't need to worry about the sensitivities of the American adolescent. They can take a movie like this, and see just how silly and cartoonish it is.

125 of 246 comments (clear)

  1. movies and Jon Katz by 56ker · · Score: 3, Funny

    Reading this review makes me think of "If you don't want to see it you don't have to go" - then I realised that applied to a Jon Katz review too!

    --


    Video Game cheats, hints a
  2. JonKatz needs to go back to html school. by Kredal · · Score: 2, Funny

    Here, I'll fix it from my post down.

    --
    Whoever stated that signature sizes should be limited to one hundred and twenty characters can just go ahead and kiss my
  3. I need a lesson in social studies... by Da+Masta · · Score: 5, Funny

    The Rock plays an Acadian assassin

    Correct me if I'm wrong but Acadian would be like french-canadians in the maritimes, right? Unless the Rock does dress up like Anne of Green Gables and shouts "mange de la merde" as insults, this is not the same ethnic background as the Rock's character. So is the a typical JonKatz f*ckup, or is there some other race with the same name? Some background info on them would be nice too...

    1. Re:I need a lesson in social studies... by Accipiter · · Score: 5, Informative

      It's actually Akkadian.

      So yes, it's the typical Jon Katz fuck-up.

      --

      -- Give him Head? Be a Beacon?
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    2. Re:I need a lesson in social studies... by jejones · · Score: 2

      OK...now we know what to smell for; the Rock is cookin' crawfish etouffé!

    3. Re:I need a lesson in social studies... by Catbeller · · Score: 2, Insightful
      Da Masta sayeth:

      The Rock plays an Acadian assassin

      Correct me if I'm wrong but Acadian would be like french-canadians in the maritimes, right? Unless the Rock does dress up like Anne of Green Gables and shouts "mange de la merde" as insults, this is not the same ethnic background as the Rock's character. So is the a typical JonKatz f*ckup, or is there some other race with the same name? Some background info on them would be nice too...


      Accipiter sayeth:

      It's actually Akkadian.

      So yes, it's the typical Jon Katz fuck-up.


      Jon Katz actually saideth:

      It seems oxymoronic to bother with plot lines in a movie like this. The Rock plays an Akkadian assassin named Mathayus


      Well, apparently Da Masta and Accipiter, it is actually you who seem to be the fuck-ups. What is this we-hate-Katz thing? What is this, Aint-It-Cool-News? Does he offend your political sensibilities or something?

      Ad hominem, it ain't just for Clinton anymore!
    4. Re:I need a lesson in social studies... by IanA · · Score: 5, Informative

      it was spelled wrong originally; Katz changed it after realizing his mistake

    5. Re:I need a lesson in social studies... by Da+Masta · · Score: 1

      Acadians from the Maritimes typically do not have much to do with Anne, either. L.M. Montgomery didn't have a French ancestry. Neither Tourtiere nor poutine are exclusively Acadian. Of course, you yanks are ignorant about anything beyond your own borders, aren't you! You prefer to adhere to misconceptions and stereotypes. That's why the rest of the world hates you!

      Funny, funny, funny, considering I am Canadian myself.

      Excuse me for being an ignorant Torontanian, but unfortunately studying the differences between the people in PEI and Newfoundland and all the rest of the places just was not an option for me.

      As much as I protested against this blatant overlooking on part of the boards of education in the GTA, there was no attempt at making us more informed, thus our inability to tell the difference.

      Please, I beg the rest of the world, don't hate us because Toronto's beautiful!

    6. Re:I need a lesson in social studies... by Kwantus · · Score: 1

      >Correct me if i'm wrong...

      Alrighty.

      As someone else pointed out, Anne is not Acadian. Decided not - PEI is decidedly absentee-landlord English, different even from the English which booted out the Acadians after some 40 years' warning to clarify their allegiance. (You doubt it was different English? Why? the Acadians and the Habitants (Quebec) are quite distinct.) The expulsion moved them to southern New England (IIRC). Then they voluntarily resettled themselves in the still-French Louisiana territory (hence the Cajuns, I garontea - ie, not all Acadian is maritime Canadian). Many brought themselves back to NS and NB, took the oath of British allegiance, and that's where today's (maritime) Acadians come from.

      Finally, to that ambulance-chaser kicking up jack for an apology from the British Crown...
      Govs Lawrence and Shirley cooked it up and carried it out on theire own. The Crown didn't know about it until it was done. They had nothing to go with it beyond placing in the Govs' hands the general authority to do it. So if you want an apology, buddy, you want it from NS and MA. :p

    7. Re:I need a lesson in social studies... by Accipiter · · Score: 2

      Well, apparently Da Masta and Accipiter, it is actually you who seem to be the fuck-ups.

      Hi Jon. Nice to see you finally got a Slashdot ID other than JonKatz.

      In any case, it was originally spelled incorrectly as "Acadian". I also noticed that Katz took the liberty of correcting "rupees" to "blood rubies" as well, based on another comment submitted.

      You have to love writing an article, then changing it when comment-submitters point out flaws and inaccuracies. It seems the Slashdot readership now has the job of "Editor", and fuckwits like Katz can post anything with an "eh-I'll-fix-it-later" attitude.

      Why isn't Slashdot getting my money? There's nothing worth paying for.

      --

      -- Give him Head? Be a Beacon?
      (If you can't figure out how to E-Mail me, Don't. :P)

    8. Re:I need a lesson in social studies... by Gizzmonic · · Score: 1

      You are too smart to be posting in a Jon Katz article!

      --
      (-1, Raw and Uncut is the only way to read)
  4. What was Katz expecting? by Ryn · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Was he expecting a well-written script, historically accurate, with dull brainteasers that would appeal to some british aristocrate?
    I had fun watching the movie. It was a good ass-kicker. Light plot, lots of nice action. However, the director was under influence of G. Lucas, because Jar Jar Binks has made his other appearance in the movie, this time played by a stupid human.

  5. Skew by leibnizme · · Score: 1

    Meanwhile, Jon Katz can't seem to figure out how to close an tag... making his summary, and all of Slashdot, even more skewed than normal!

  6. i formatting by Ronin441 · · Score: 4, Funny
    >i>

    And if you screwed up your formatting, well, you should have hit Preview...
    1. Re:i formatting by mr100percent · · Score: 1

      Too bad it wasn't a tag...

    2. Re:i formatting by Ronin441 · · Score: 4, Informative

      OK; I guess my joke is deeply inobvious now, but when the story first went up, there was a tag improperly closed in the first paragraph, with >i> instead of ; meaning that the entire rest of the story was in italics.

      Unlike us plebs, of course, editors have the power to silently fix their typos. :-)

    3. Re:i formatting by Kwantus · · Score: 1

      pity /. doesn't enforce HTML syntax by, say, a quick pass through nsgmls before accepting an article. I've done it for much less complex situations...

  7. The Movie really sucked by themurray · · Score: 2, Informative

    Unfortunely the reviewer has very low standards on movies and must be easily amused by drivel. It had very few good moments, but nothing that would make me buy the DVD or watch it again. It was better then I expected, but not much.

    This movie was SO lame that I had to fight not fall a sleep. It shows that hollywood should be burned to the ground and salted to prevent them from making more movies. I use to be a monthly movie goer, but if I get to the movies in a six month period is now rare. Spiderman and Lord of the Rings are about the best possible movies I see in the near future....

    I am sick of remakes and reusing much cooler scenes from other movies in an attempt to make a new movie better. They need to break the standard Script mold and allow original ideas to try, since I am getting very sick of them.

    1. Re:The Movie really sucked by themurray · · Score: 1

      Actually, Conan the Barbarian is a great movie with one of the best soundtracks! The new DVD version does well to make the movie even better with extra scenes to fill out the plot. I have always hated the original ending with everyone throwing their torch into the water.

      Every so often; Hollywood does bring out a gem or two in recent memory, but indies/international are a better source of new films.

      Most new music is truly weak and unoriginal trash, but a few groups still shine at times. I might be old and jaded, but not willing to lower my standards for real trash like this.

      I do watch wrestling at times and like the rock, but mostly do to my friends and my fond memories of the 80's while a kid watching wrestling. Really gotta kick out watching the music video on the Goonies DVD with all the old wrestlers!

    2. Re:The Movie really sucked by swdunlop · · Score: 1

      This reviewer's standards have little to do with the reviews he writes. JonKatz is the ultimate troll, and knows a shit movie, when he sees one. His response to the closest thing you can find in the theater to http://goatse.cx, is to try and make us all go see it.

      You name the issue, JonKatz is going to try to flame us about it. I used to get annoyed with him, now I just laugh at everyone else who falls for his crap.

      --
      Weapons of Mass Analysis
  8. saw this friday night by esoteric0 · · Score: 1

    and it was pretty bad. i almost agree totally with katz. except that it was 20 rubies, not rupies. i think.

    anyway, it's obivious that they kept the rock's lines down to 6 words or less for a reason. he's not the best actor in the world.


    the thing that bothered me the most is that it was nothing like the story that was portrayed in the mummy returns. the rock, instead of almost dying in the desert and being saved by anubis, was shot with a poisoned arrow and almost died from that. the sorceress saved him. also, there wasn't an army of the undead anywhere to be seen.

    that's enough spoilers i guess, but be warned... if you go see this, don't expect anything like the story you heard in the mummy returns.

    1. Re:saw this friday night by esoteric0 · · Score: 1

      what are you talking about? in 'the mummy returns' it clearly said that he (the rock) was dying in the desert and made a pact with anubis. anubis saved him and let him use his armies of undead warriors in return for his (the rock) soul. go watch the movie again.

    2. Re:saw this friday night by Koatdus · · Score: 1
      the thing that bothered me the most is that it was nothing like the story that was portrayed in the mummy returns. the rock, instead of almost dying in the desert and being saved by anubis, was shot with a poisoned arrow and almost died from that. the sorceress saved him. also, there wasn't an army of the undead anywhere to be seen


      I was under the impression that the events in the begining of The Mummy Returns took place well after the events in this movie. It looks to me as though they are setting up for a series. It will also probably be a tragidy in the greek sense. ( good guy trying hard has success but eventually falls hard due to combo of basic character flaws and gods plotting against him.)
      --
      Every wrong attempt discarded is a step forward - T. Edison
    3. Re:saw this friday night by Dagon754 · · Score: 1

      The events in the Mummy DO occur far after this movie. Eventually the kingdom falls to an outside, evil force, Matthias ends up almost dying in the desert. Since he already has Scorpian blood in his veins, Annubis makes the deal with him to avenge his lost kingdom. Even the sorceress alludes to it when Matthias asks how long the peace will last. The Mummy just never mentioned the earlier part of his history. This fills it in.

      I agree with the idea that this is the first in a series. I enjoyed the movie. It was not a great movie, but it was a fun movie. Heck, my 4 year old loved it.

      --
      "To preserve liberty it is essential that the whole body of the people always possess arms, and be taught alike, espec
  9. ugh... by AnimeFreak · · Score: 1, Redundant

    Mr. Katz, did you forget to close your tag?

    I don't exactly like reading Slashdot on a slanted point-of-view.

  10. My favorite scene from the previews by Unknown+Poltroon · · Score: 2, Informative

    Is where the two guys in a swordfight break each others blades. Considering that were dealing with nearly stone age level technology, how did the chip the stones to look just like steel?

    --
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    1. Re:My favorite scene from the previews by Jin+Wicked · · Score: 1

      They evidently got the metal swords from the same place that Kelly Hu got her gold-scaled bra and underpants.

      --
      My Webcomic: Asylum on 5th Street
  11. Rocky Rocky by WildBeast · · Score: 3, Funny

    Are you criticizing the most electrifying man in sports entertainment? Know your role, jabroni :)

    1. Re:Rocky Rocky by friedegg · · Score: 1

      When people watch this movie, they should be happy it's not another No Holds Barred, Suburban Commando, Mr. Nanny, or Santa with Muscles.

      --
      Google doesn't index user sigs, so stop trying to "Google Bomb" with them.
  12. Re:When... by dustym · · Score: 1, Insightful

    "This spoiled my day." I do not like these reviews as much as the next guy, but if this spoiled your day you need to get a life, seriously. If it is really that terrible, then get off your ass and make a movie review site and do it yourself. Or do not read the shit at all. dustym

  13. Contradictions for JonKatz's theories by mochan_s · · Score: 1

    Wow. None of the Sept. 11 and Globalism even though the movie is about a foreign country and deals with war of sorts. That's an incredible behaviour change caused by the incessant slashdot readers jeering JonKatz's every word posted.

    Or maybe it's the antithesis of every idea JonKatz has been blabbering about. So, he's taking an easy way out by just calling it light movie by totally ignoring any of the contradictions it could cause to JonKatz's long developing theories.

    First of all, it's about the small guy fighting a big relentless giant and it's bottom line is that all of magic and wizardy couldn't beat good ol' idea of good ideas (as opposed to evil ones) like freedom (and it's associated death). If I'm note careful, I might be implying something really bad.

    1. Re:Contradictions for JonKatz's theories by Da+Masta · · Score: 1

      First of all, it's about the small guy fighting a big relentless giant and it's bottom line is that all of magic and wizardy couldn't beat good ol' idea of good ideas (as opposed to evil ones) like freedom (and it's associated death). If I'm note careful, I might be implying something really bad.

      That was subtly brilliant! (If you are implying what I just read into your statement.)

  14. The Rock vs. Shakespeare by Mulletproof · · Score: 2, Insightful

    The 16th century had Shakespeare as their form of entertainment and we, sadly have WWF and the Rock here in the 21st. About the only incentive I have for seeing SK is Kelly Hu... Mmmmmm... Kelly... But it'll be a slighty frosty day in hell before I acually pay to see it.

    --
    You need a FREE iPod Nano
    1. Re:The Rock vs. Shakespeare by t0ph3rus · · Score: 1

      Let's not forget. Most works that we regard as classic today were not always looked favorably upon at the time. Machiavelli was considered scandalous and crude. Certainly not appropriate to mention his name in public. Now his work is read in high schools. Or perhaps Marquis de Sad. He was imprissoned for his writeings and at the time and seen as a writer of filth. Now his works are regarded as classics. I am sure that many of Shakespeare's works were considered filth at the time.

    2. Re:The Rock vs. Shakespeare by John_Booty · · Score: 3, Insightful

      I love Shakespeare and I loved this movie, too. don't forget the Shakespeare was popular entertainment back in its day, too- it was entertainment for the masses.

      Shakespearian plays were full of sleeping around, romantic mixups, stabbing, and comic mischief. As wonderfully-crafted as most of his tales were, as as witty as the dialogue was they're not exactly the most sophisticated/complex things things in the world.

      So, the gap between Shakespeare and enjoyable trash like this movie isn't as far as you might thing. Personally, having seen many of Shakespeare's plays, I think most people think they're "sophisticated" just because they're in old English.

      Need evidence? Look at any Shakespearian translation set in modern times, performed in modern English....

      --

      OtakuBooty.com: Smart, funny, sexy nerds.
    3. Re:The Rock vs. Shakespeare by Chris+Johnson · · Score: 2
      The vocabulary in Shakespeare is about _ten_ times what you'll find in a movie like this...

      (heh, 'insightful'? 'this is kinda like shakespeare for our time' constitutes 'insightful'?)

    4. Re:The Rock vs. Shakespeare by TimboJones · · Score: 1

      Shakespeare did not write in Old English. Old English would sound like gibberish to you and me; even Middle English would remind you more of Gaelic or Welsh than of English. Old and Middle English are completely different languages than Modern English. Completely different -- I'm not talking about the kind of difference we have between English in the Deep South and Cockney slang -- I'm talking completely different.

      Shakespeare wrote in Moderen English, the same language you and I write and speak. If he did not, you would need a translator to read it. You may need a dictionary to look up words that have fallen out of common usage, but you still find "the" and "mine" and "several" et cetera.

      People think Shakespeare is sophisticated not because he wrote in Old English, but because he wrote in flowery English. For the same reason, people think Keats is sophisticated. I'm inclined to agree. You don't need obscure high-brow ideas to be sophisticated, you need the appearance of sophistication. Sophistication has been overrated due to the overabundance of sophists. Look up sophistry to find the hidden meaning of sophistication.

      It's not true enough for me.

    5. Re:The Rock vs. Shakespeare by ahoehn · · Score: 1

      True, the plots of some shakespeare plays aren't especially elegant or morally uplifting, and part of why some people think they're intelligent is because of the old english, but there's much more to them than you insinuate. Sheakspeare can be read as poetry, read the boys snnets, read some of his monlogues, read some of the dialogues that deal with moral delemmas, the plots are adiquate, but the diction and rhyescheme that Shakespeare uses is marvelous. Oh, and don't forget his proficiancy for inventing words, (or at least bringing words previously only used as colloquialisms onto the written page.)

      --
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    6. Re:The Rock vs. Shakespeare by ahoehn · · Score: 1

      It's always a good idea to insert as many grammatical and spelling errors in your comment as possible when you're trying to establish credibility as someone who understands Shakespeare.

      --
      Mod my comments down. It'll be fun.
  15. I saw this movie... by Jin+Wicked · · Score: 1

    I like it, in a silly sort of way. Except for the part where the guy dipped his swords in the fire and they burned for about ten minutes. Since when are swords flammable? That was so stupid it literally almost ruined the end of the movie for me.

    I was also disappointed that no one got hit over the head with a folded steel chair at any point in the movie.

    But other than that, it was ok. :)

    --
    My Webcomic: Asylum on 5th Street
  16. Katz using the royal "we"? by s1r_m1xalot · · Score: 5, Funny
    Sorry, but I really love this trash, even as I grasp why more of the world hates us every day.

    Either Katz is starting to use the royal we by the end of that sentence or he spelled "me" in a funny way. ;-)

    1. Re:Katz using the royal "we"? by Accipiter · · Score: 2

      I also find it funny that he claims to have a grasp on something. When did that happen?

      --

      -- Give him Head? Be a Beacon?
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    2. Re:Katz using the royal "we"? by Accipiter · · Score: 2

      Yeah, I was going to include a metaphor about how his lack of grasp is as extreme as having one's palms greased, but I caught that one early.

      --

      -- Give him Head? Be a Beacon?
      (If you can't figure out how to E-Mail me, Don't. :P)

    3. Re:Katz using the royal "we"? by metacell · · Score: 1

      As part of "the rest of the world", I can confirm it's a hate-love relationship.

  17. 20 blood rubies by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

    Actually, it was "20 blood rubies" NOT rupies.

    I saw this yesterday, The Rock kicks serious villain butt, he gets the girl, there's an occasionally amusing sidekick. End of plot. But hey, it's a diversion, it's not a movie classic.

    What do you expect, Vince McMahon was the executive producer ;)

  18. So what's the hubbub? by zaren · · Score: 3, Insightful

    This movie is a spin-off of The (Brendan Frasier) Mummy movies, which were an astounding bit of escapism, broken plot lines, unreality, fantasy, and general making-stuff-up-as-you-go-along-ishness... and Rocky was in the Returns movie anyway. I don't recall either of those movies trying too hard to be classics of American cinema. So what's the problem with this one being more of the same?

    -----
    Aww, FCSK!

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    Come to the University of Mars! Classes starting soon!
    1. Re:So what's the hubbub? by Chasuk · · Score: 2

      Katz didn't actually criticize this movie. The purpose of the review was for Katz to show us all that he was just like us: that he, too, can watch an admittedly crap movie and still like it.

      Evidence:

      Sorry, but I really love this trash,

      I have to say I had fun watching this silliness.

      and it's so undemanding a movie, that you leave the theater smiling and relaxed.

      Katz has been criticized in the past for being out of touch with the rest of us, for being elitist. This was his way of showing us that he is really a regular dude who can watch a cheesy movie and enjoy it.

      Didn't anybody else see that?

      I must admit that I am probably in the minority. I genuinely like Katz. Part of the pleasure is reading all of the predictable Katz lambasting, and part of it is seeing my own opinions expressed by someone else (that person being Katz). I do disagree with Katz about this movie: if a movie is crap, it's crap, no matter how big the quota of special effects. I go to the movies to have my brain turned ON, not turned OFF. Daily life is already so numbing and anti-use-of-intellect that I prefer foreign and art films to mass-culture movies. But that's just my own form of escapism, an embracing of the pretentious so that I can forget how dumb reality actually is, how shallow my existance feels.

      Okay, I do have a short list of dumb movies I adore:

      Army of Darkness
      The Rocky Horror Picture Show
      The Fifth Element

      The Mummy pictures (The Mummy, The Mummy Returns, The Scorpion King) are too dumb to be enjoyed, at least by this viewer. I did see them, out of a sense of social obligation (I can't criticize them without seeing them, after all), but they all sucked beyond the point of amusement.

      Except:

      The scene where Rachel Weisz and Patricia Velazquez kick each others ass. I have a weakness for movies where women kick ass. Oh, that exposes a whole genre that I adore, fully realizing that the genre is cheesy - the Hong Kong action films where evil or strong or vengeful women do lots of butt-kicking. Yes, I even own Charlie's Angels, and it is a very bad movie indeed.

      --
      Neopets - the best free game on the Int
    2. Re:So what's the hubbub? by Chris+Johnson · · Score: 2
      The real irony here is that people respond to Katz as if he is a starving college journalist or something- when a bit of research will reveal that he was a television executive! Katz is a _suit_. And not just a suit, but a _TV_ _executive_ suit.

      Shocked, shocked I am that he likes truly idiotic movies ;)

  19. tyrants, thieves, traitors by xlurker · · Score: 4, Funny


    If the Rock can survive tyrants, thieves, traitors, ....

    in Hollywood, the WWF or the movie .... ?

    --
    ______________________________________________
    sigamajig...
    1. Re:tyrants, thieves, traitors by Linuxthess · · Score: 1

      Oh yeah?
      Give him an ol' /.'ing!

      --

      I sig, therefore I was.
  20. Rock vs Larry King Live by deputydink · · Score: 2, Insightful

    from the april 20th edition of larry king live

    notice the subtlety at which larry navigates through the trying events of our time.

    Larry - Do you consider yourself an actor or a wrestler?
    Rock - Uh. Well, i act and i wrestle, so i guess i'd be both.
    Larry - Nice, nice. Were you sad when Owen Hart passed away?
    Rock - Uh. Well, yes i was.
    Larry - Nice, nice. Now tell me about 9-11.
    Rock - Uh. Well, it was really terrible.
    Larry - Yes. That it was. [pause] The movie is the Scorpio King by universal. The man, Dwayne Johnson. We'll be back in a moment.

    This proves Larry King is still in posession of journalisms' most inappropriate (and strangly unconfortable) seugeways.

    The rest of the hour long interview has a slightly confused Rock answering (well, i might add) a string of strange, offtopic questions about race, wrestling, Republicanism and Arnold Schwarzenegger fired off by the perpetually half-asleep larry king.

    Classic.

    The cnn review is here.

  21. Katz & The Rock: Birds of a Feather by Nova+Express · · Score: 5, Funny
    "Sorry, but I really love this trash"



    Indeed.



    The sad truth is, in the imposter derby, The Rock is a better at pretending to be an actor than Jon Katz is at pretending to be a writer...

    --
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    1. Re:Katz & The Rock: Birds of a Feather by PrestoChango · · Score: 1

      ouch.

    2. Re:Katz & The Rock: Birds of a Feather by IHateEverybody · · Score: 2


      The sad truth is, in the imposter derby, The Rock is a better at pretending to be an actor than Jon Katz is at pretending to be a writer...

      What a horrible thing to say. The Rock is much more charismatic than Jon Katz.

      --
      Does this .sig make my butt look big?
    3. Re:Katz & The Rock: Birds of a Feather by Jeff+DeMaagd · · Score: 2

      One thing that I have to say, is that someone (say, Katz) that hated The Mummy AND The Mummy Returns had absolutely no business watching a spin-off and then compl. I think that shows how much of a weenie he is. He shouldn't have thrown his money away on The Scorpion King in the first place. I think he just gets off on whining, like much of the /. crowd.

      I don't see how the world is going to change when people hate things about it yet do absolutely nothing substantive about it. For one, I know a lot of people that don't see what is wrong with throwing away $8 to see garbage that they'll so likely hate.

  22. Re:Thanks! by Linuxthess · · Score: 1
    Well, as JonKatz writes in the begining
    "Sorry, but I really love this trash, even as I grasp why more of the world hates us every day. The Scorpion King is as American a film...."

    This is a pretext to explain why even though the movie sucks, he still enjoyed it.
    Me, personally? I wouldn't waste my time watching such bullshit drivel from Hollywood.

    Hey, they know the market, and I guess that the masses are asses afterall, and you got to cater to your target audience.

    --------------

    --

    I sig, therefore I was.
  23. rather OT, but by Profe55or+Booty · · Score: 2, Funny

    jon, i can't help but notice that you don't have many friends here. i would like to be your friend. e-mail me and we can talk about having some sleep-overs and we can go bowling and stuff.

    i can't wait to hear from you!

    greg clarke

    --
    sig - .
  24. So I guess my news on 802.11 was rejected to... by elroySF · · Score: 1

    make way for this piece of drivel? Hang on while I delete Slashdot from my bookmarks...there... that's better!

  25. Your homework for tonight... by Mulletproof · · Score: 3, Funny

    And that's the thing that scares me... Will kids be reading WWF as part of their history lessons in 2153? Say it ain't so.... "And today we will be studying the 'Smackdown period', 1995-2004" Uhhggg...

    --
    You need a FREE iPod Nano
    1. Re:Your homework for tonight... by t0ph3rus · · Score: 1

      No, I am sure that some things will always be known as trash :) I doubt that the rock will be learned about in history classes......unless he runs for president!! However, we often look at the past with rose colored glasses. The fact is history is full of trashy entertainment we just forget about the trully trashy stuff. Keep in mind that classical music was the rock music of the day. We have the classical masters that we learn about today. However, there were scores of other composers that were mediocore. Those that were not talented or controversial have been forgotten in history.

  26. Re:Wait by themurray · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yep, the movie will be on Hell's Metroplex for film critics right next to Battlefield Earth and many other fine films.

  27. You need a lesson in being less of a hypocrite by EvilAlien · · Score: 3, Interesting
    Is that sorta of like how we Canadians are incessantly snobbish and arrogant about how much we know about everywhere else? Maybe its because our own history (and current politics) are incredibly boring. "Of course you yanks" is just the kind of disgusting overgeneralization that you are whining about, yet somehow its ok when its a rant about the US? We sit around and stagnate with our high taxes and bitch at the Americans while they grow and prosper and build a military to protect our asses along with theirs in case the unthinkable happens and someone attacks North America. Yet we conveniently and transparently take advantage of the non-obvious benefits of what the US has produced, such as the Internet (yes it started there, no they didn't do it alone, but you'd better give them the credit for it). Why aren't you posting this on a Canadian site, hypocrite?

    WWF is hella lame.

    The Rock is hella lame.

    This review is hella lame.

    The Scorpian King is hella lame.

    But at least its not "Men with Brooms".

    --
    perl -e 'print $i=pack(c5, (41*2), sqrt(7056), (unpack(c,H)-2), oct(115), 10)'
  28. There are some inconsistencies in movies by Unknown+Poltroon · · Score: 1

    That i will not try to discourage. And you shouldnt either. PLease.

    "They evidently got the metal swords from the same place that Kelly Hu got her gold-scaled bra and underpants."

    --
    All Troll + "offtopic" mods are meta moderated as "Unfair", because you abused the system.
  29. Drubbing by aozilla · · Score: 1, Offtopic

    http://slashdot.org/search.pl?query=drubbing+&op=s tories

    --
    ok then your [sic] infringing on my copyright! Could you as [sic] me next time before STEALING my comments for your own?
  30. amusing culture by evenprime · · Score: 2

    Think of it as the United Nations:
    Kelly Hu as cute girl with the gift of prophesy (chinese/hawaiian/english ancestry)
    Taiko drummers (japan)
    sword training with shinai (japan)
    Indian elephant (India and southeast asia)
    Monocled Cobra (India)
    Cutting hands off of thieves (Moslem countries of middle east)
    Bamboo laminate crossbows (Hmong people of cambodia/vietnam)

    --

    "Weapons should be hardy rather than decorative" - Miyamoto Musashi
    I think that goes for OS's too
  31. Uh, by NeoSkandranon · · Score: 1

    The "rupees" he gets in the movie are red ones, which are worth 20 apiece IIRC. so really he got 400 rupees...

    or 20 rubies.

    --
    If you can't see the value in jet powered ants you should turn in your nerd card. - Dunbal (464142)
    1. Re:Uh, by jo42 · · Score: 1
      Don't work, some fooker edited the headline to make JonKuntz not look like the idiot he is.

      At least now /. has it's Nixon tapes.

  32. US?! - There's no us. - A chemical alternative by littlalex · · Score: 1

    Jon - US, There's no US. You mean people like you!

    For anyone dinked enough to pay to see this (no, I haven't, but the ads make me hit the ESC button
    on the remote) I have a selection of chemical alternatives that are less expensive, more fun and probably less damaging to the brain.

    For those wanting to simulate the experience of
    this film I offer a little number called "RageOn"
    (a tasty little microbrewed blend of LSD and Dextroamphetamine) the kit also contains a ball peen hammer and instructions. Take the capsule, stand in front of your bathroom mirror and trash yourself on the skull and upper body...it's incredible!

    Live Life! Don't be Passive!

    e-mail: rushthroughlife@olfactoryhallucination.net
    cell: 1-555-1212-BOOM

    We deliver nationwide

    Satisfied Customers include(d) Hunter Thompson,
    Jim Morrison, Darryl Strawbery, Tupac and others.

    Littlalex
    CAC
    Chemical Aquisition Consultant

    Serving the Community for 35 years

  33. Homonyms by chill · · Score: 1

    Akkadian, not Acadian
    Rubies (red gems), not rupees (currency in India)

    --
    Learning HOW to think is more important than learning WHAT to think.
  34. easily amused by Alien54 · · Score: 2

    Well, there is always The First Church of the Easily Amused, another one of those internet religions with a virtual membership. (with many dead links)

    --
    "It is a greater offense to steal men's labor, than their clothes"
  35. Yeah, I haven't seen it... but... by James+Foster · · Score: 2

    I haven't seen this movie, but I've seen trailers. The trailers I have seen did not have a single legible word except for the voice overs; the "This season, prepare for a ride..." crap.
    Going by the trailers, I expect of this movie the exact same thing that Katz describes in his review.

    If there is a single person who sees a trailer for this, and goes to see it thinking it will be anything but a stupid & shallow movie, I would be very suprised.

    I don't know why this one is even worthy of a review, the trailers make it bleeding obvious what it will be about. So my only question to Katz would be, what were you expecting?!?

  36. Haven't seen the movie, but... by Jerf · · Score: 5, Funny

    The Sorceress, on the other hand, turns out to be a babe who strolls around in thongs, does kung fu, and relates instantly to the Rock's sophisticated style of combat and international diplomacy. The Sorceress makes it clear that she loses her powers if she ever has sex.

    Let's me guess... she has oral sex with the Rock and stains her blue thongs, which is the smoking gun the Authorities of Magic need to bring her up on charges of improper conduct, for which the penalty is the immediate impeachment of her magical powers. But in an emergency highly publicized session before the Gods and Goddesses of Magic, makes an impassioned plea based on questiong what the definition of "is" is, and manages to get off the hook when it is determined that nobody in fact gives a damn what a Sorceress does in her private life, thus letting her have sex AND keep her powers.

    Am I close?

    1. Re:Haven't seen the movie, but... by the+grace+of+R'hllor · · Score: 1

      Nah, too contrived. I know it's only a movie, but real people don't work like that. Maybe you should stop watching fantasy movies and start focussing on things like politics, or something.

  37. How many people? by Veramocor · · Score: 1

    And there still is broadway and plays in NYC today which are better than the WWF.

    But its costly and there is little space for everyone to see a live performance.

    Flaunt it baby, flaunt it!

    --
    Veramocor
  38. Oxymoronic Review by compugeek007 · · Score: 1
    "It seems oxymoronic to bother with plot lines in a movie like this."

    It seems oxymoronic to bother writing a review for a movie like this. I mean, come on "Jon Katz writes a movie review of Scorpion King" I don't have to read the review and I know exactly what you are going ot say. Why not review a real movie with some literary content like "Panic Room" or "Attack of the Clones" or even "Blade II"

    ..oh wait, never mind

    --
    Jesse Wolfe Sr. Manager Systems Integration
  39. The Rock, a review by Jon Katz by 198348726583297634 · · Score: 1
    The Rock, playing the Scorpion King in his new the movie The Scorpion King, represents a memetic paradigm shift away from a post-Columbine 9/11 tech-entrenched world. Fascinating look at something, also I am aware of America as "world's most hated supervillain." Although the world is not as black-and-white as I am paid to write it , teh truth is, the more things change, the more they stay the same.



    Hee hee heee, sosrry, I couldn't help myself! I've never flamed jonkatz before but I took one look at the headline and thought "he reviewed that wrestler flick with the flaming swords? god damn!" I hope at least someone enjoys this before it plummets to -1 land :)

  40. Loses powers if she has sex by queequeg1 · · Score: 1

    Not to be too pikcy, but what does this mean? Can she felate The Rock and still keep her powers?

    1. Re:Loses powers if she has sex by compugeek007 · · Score: 1

      That depends on what you definition of "is" is.

      --
      Jesse Wolfe Sr. Manager Systems Integration
  41. Jon, you had us fooled! by Da+Masta · · Score: 2, Interesting
    Jon Katz actually saideth:

    It seems oxymoronic to bother with plot lines in a movie like this. The Rock plays an Akkadian assassin named Mathayus

    Well, apparently Da Masta and Accipiter, it is actually you who seem to be the fuck-ups. What is this we-hate-Katz thing? What is this, Aint-It-Cool-News? Does he offend your political sensibilities or something?


    Gee you think I wouldn't notice if he had spelt it properly the first time?

    He changed the spelling in the article after I posted it in order to make me look like the fool! That JonKatz fella sure is smarter than the average /. editor.
  42. Re:When... by crumbz · · Score: 2

    yeah, i was crabby when i wrote that....hadn't had my coffee yet.

  43. Is it just me or.... by efuseekay · · Score: 3, Funny

    it is that I look forward to every Jon Katz article just to watch the (much more entertaining) Katz-bashing posts? :)

    Let the feeding frenzy begin!

    --
    Mode (3) smart-aleck mode. Press * to return to main menu.
    1. Re:Is it just me or.... by bartyboy · · Score: 2

      I was actually gonna post the same thing - I never read his stories, only comments attached to them. I figure it's more entertaining.

    2. Re:Is it just me or.... by carpe_noctem · · Score: 1

      hahaha....I am in your camp too, it would appear. I love reading Katz's posts, because they remind me of a small child completely naive about anything going on in the world. "Mommy, why do people fight wars?". =)

      And, as a consequence, the rest of us slashdotters are like the big brother, ready to punch him in the gut and tell him to shut the hell up.

      --
      "Quoting famous computer scientists out of context is the root of all evil (or at least most of it) in programming." - K
  44. Sad Problem is the movie really is trash by Buzz_Litebeer · · Score: 1

    i went and saw it thinking it would be fun and interesting, instead it was just a pile of bad acting, and even worse fight scenes, and I thought I could never put a movie into that order. Usually fight scenes are well done, while acting is forgotten, on the Scorpian King they actually went all out and made the entire thing bad. I am a big fan of sword fighting movies, Red Sonja, Conan, unfortunately if you thought the acting was bad in those, you have to see the scorpian king, simply so you will have a new appreciation of just how bad acting can truly be.

    --
    If you don't vote, you don't matter, so don't waste your time telling me your opinion
    1. Re:Sad Problem is the movie really is trash by merdark · · Score: 1

      Oh man...speaking of bad acting in sword fighting movies... DON'T EVER see the beuwulf movie with that "immortal" actor guy (don't know his name). Man, that movie has defined the bottem line for me. Let's see, they wore doc martins in medaeaval times, decapidated people with oversized razor blades, had pointless fire and claws spouting out of castle towers. Even a bottle of wine couldn't save the movie. I guess it was sorta a good laugh though. I can't believe Scorpion King is worse than beowulf, really.

  45. Katz, idiot by PD · · Score: 2, Offtopic

    Katz, the world doesn't hate the United States. You confuse all the rhetoric and jokes and irritation that the world has with the United States for hatred.

    The truth of the matter is no matter what others say about the "ugly American" stereotype, it is just a stereotype. Even in the most unfriendly parts of the world, say North Korea, or Iraq, most of the people there would not lift a finger to hurt an American. They would be friendly, eager to talk, probably even give you part of their dinner. That is not hatred!

    But that attitude extends not only towards individual Americans, but also towards the entire country. The United States is not unversally viewed as a bully or belligerent country. The US is seen more often than not as the only party that can intervene in regional conflicts without taking sides. The US is seen as a country that loves freedom, and has a lot of opportunity for poor people to improve themselves. The US is seen as a country that is very rich, but also very generous with that wealth if another country needs it because of natural disaster. The US is respected for strength, but not feared. For a good example of how power CAN be feared, take a look at the Israelis and the Palistinians who mutually fear each other.

    Some might hate us enough to fly planes into our buildings, but probably 250,000,000 times as many would never do something like that. Now, we can't sit on our asses and say "the world loves us" because if we do that then they will REALLY start to not like us. But we must realize that the world does NOT hate us, and we must not use that as an excuse to either withdraw from the world and all the good we could do in it, or to develop some sort of national neurosis about the rest of the world.

    --
    If tits were wings it'd be flying around.
    1. Re:Katz, idiot by DeathPooky · · Score: 1

      Well, first of all, this was most likely intended to be a throwaway joke to start the article, not an actual serious commentary on the state of the world, if you really have such an insane need to insult Katz, at least try to insult him for something worthwhile.

      Second of all, where exactly did you learn that the world doesn't hate us?

      "The US is seen more often than not as the only party that can intervene in regional conflicts without taking sides."

      Can anyone say Israel? We've been taking sides in their conflicts for quite a while, and when we support their oppositions control of their holy land, yes they will hate us for that.

      "The US is seen as a country that loves freedom, and has a lot of opportunity for poor people to improve themselves."

      This might be true if you're looking at early 20th century European history, or perhaps Mexico today, but this was never the case in the Middle East. Many nations there have an entire different philosophy which does not respect freedom as a right, but instead something that destroys what they are trying to create.

      "The US is seen as a country that is very rich, but also very generous with that wealth if another country needs it because of natural disaster."

      Once again, the US is not respected for wealth in many countries, instead we are hated for the type of wealth driven culture that we create. When we have corporations that invade their nations with capatilistic ideas and promote wealth as the ultimate goal. Look at Iran, while there is one more liberal fundamentalist party which supports capitilism and too an extent, some freedoms, there are also major parties which are completely against economic or social freedom for the effect it may have on their religious culture.

      I'm not attempting to make any judgement on the right or wrong of their judgements of our culture, but yes they do hate us, and in their eyes, they have very good reasons for hating us. Sitting around pretending that everyone appreciates what we do for the world is delusional. Just look at any amount of recent history (Somolia,Iran) and you'll see how much some cultures hate us.

    2. Re:Katz, idiot by PD · · Score: 2

      Well, first of all, this was most likely intended to be a throwaway joke to start the article, not an actual serious commentary on the state of the world, if you really have such an insane need to insult Katz, at least try to insult him for something worthwhile.

      The joke should have been thrown away. It was inane.

      Second of all, where exactly did you learn that the world doesn't hate us?

      Ummmmm. Where someone learned something has no bearing on the truth value of what they learned. The question is irrelevant.

      "The US is seen more often than not as the only party that can intervene in regional conflicts without taking sides."

      Can anyone say Israel? We've been taking sides in their conflicts for quite a while, and when we support their oppositions control of their holy land, yes they will hate us for that.

      And when the shit hits the fan, who does everyone call for to mediate? Where are the French? I don't see any Indian diplomats there. How about the Germans and Italians?

      The reason that the US can possibly help there is that both sides respect the strength and fairness that the US represents. The people yelling in the streets DO NOT MATTER. Most of them would not harm an American. The rest of them don't have representation in government. Even Arafat, who has raised so many doubts in recent weeks, will talk to the United States because he recognizes that we are in a position to help.

      Finally, see the peace that exists between Israel and Egypt. Now, what were you saying about Arabs not trusting us?

      Once again, the US is not respected for wealth in many countries, instead we are hated for the type of wealth driven culture that we create. When we

      No, we are DISLIKED, not hated. As I was saying about Katz, there's a difference. A Frenchman's annoyance at a "Cultural Hiroshima" will never be enough to turn France into a mortal enemy of the US.

      have very good reasons for hating us. Sitting around pretending that everyone appreciates what we do for the world is delusional. Just look at

      Hey, that's exactly what I said.

      --
      If tits were wings it'd be flying around.
    3. Re:Katz, idiot by DarrenBaker · · Score: 1

      Aren't you supposed to be participating in the 'Great Slashdot Blackout?'

    4. Re:Katz, idiot by Flambergius · · Score: 1
      Wasn't going to reply but then I saw this on the bottom: "The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it." (Oscar Wilde). :-)

      Once again, the US is not respected for wealth in many countries, instead we are hated for the type of wealth driven culture that we create. When we

      No, we are DISLIKED, not hated. As I was saying about Katz, there's a difference. A Frenchman's annoyance at a "Cultural Hiroshima" will never be enough to turn France into a mortal enemy of the US.


      That's semantics. Hated, disliked, boring! Where exactly do suppose to draw the line? Does hating imply readiness for action, even violent and/or illegal action? Does dislike not imply such readiness?

      Oh well, I better get on with my point.

      Judging from my personal experience, USA is not very well liked in Western Europe. "I'm so bored with the U.S.A. (by The Class)" would probably sum up the majority opinion quite nicely.

      There are probably scores of reasons for this, but the ones that seem to come up most often include the following:

      Envy of USA power, wealth and prestige.

      Selfish use of that power, wealth and prestige to wurther the cause of US busineses. Using national covert capabilities to benefit US busineses, to the detriment of busineses of contries allied to US.

      Power-politics: becoming, being and wanting to remain the only Superpower. This has partly resulted in a major war. (The Gulf War, with the ample help of Saddam Hussein.)

      Globalization: the new imperialism. The global free-trade is being rigged to benefit rich countries in expense of the Thrid World. Even if Europe will benefit just as much, the US is seen as the culprit. (I do think that US indeed is quilty, but I find it hard to belive that EU isn't.)

      Disrecard for non-US public concerns. Examples include the Kioto Accord, Genetically engineered food and consumer privacy matters.

      The Two-Party system and calling it democracy.

      Power of Lobbies in US political system.

      US judical system, where apparently only thing that matters is money and cunning of lawyers.

      The Israeli-Palestinian situation and the one-sided (from European POV) pro-Isreali US policy. Ariel Sharon is to most Europeans a disreputable man, about as bad as they get. A collective cringe of disbelief was heard throughout Europe when Mr Bush called Sharon "a man of peace" in middle of crisis where Israelis may have commited mass-murder of palestinan civilians.

      History, that's to say all the shit that's gone before. When attitudes in general turn to negative, good things are forgotten, or clouded, and bad things remembered.

      Some of those may seem totally internal matters that shouldn't concern outsiders. Remember however that the US constantly holds itself as the model society for others to emulate or suffer.

      I don't hold all those views. I'm not saying this to avoid responsibility for my words, but in an effort to stall knee-jerk reactions. Please, for the sake of the conversation, consider me an neutral messenger and, instead of shooting me, think about what I have said.

      Another thing:

      The people yelling in the streets DO NOT MATTER. Most of them would not harm an American.

      and later

      A Frenchman's annoyance at a "Cultural Hiroshima" will never be enough to turn France into a mortal enemy of the US.


      True that not many Frenchmen would take violent action against but they may dump a big pile of sheep dung on the gates of the US embassy. But anyways, people expressing their views peacefully in demenstrations does not matter? What is a fellow to do then?

      For the sake of an argument let's assume an even-tempered, law-abiding arab, whose religious sensibilities are deeply offended by US, the unbeliver, military presense in the sacred land, the Saudi Arabia. Because his views don't matter, he gets together one million of his peers and holds rallies and demonstrations throughout the world. Doesn't matter?

      What does then matter? That the imaginary arab gets together 10 million like-minds? 100 million? A billion? Or is it when some of the peers aren't as nice and easy-to-ignore and blow something up?

      --Flam
      --
      Computers are useless. They can only give you answers - Pablo Picasso
    5. Re:Katz, idiot by Performer+Guy · · Score: 2

      Well said. Katz is a confused fool. The USA has done more for a begrudging world than anyone cares to admit. When people gripe and complain the USA listens which unfortunately just encourages the disgruntled of the world to complain all the more. No other country is held up to a higher double standard than the USA. It's becoming all too popular a sport to take pot shots at the USA and blame it for everyone's problems instead of getting off your ass and taking responsibility for your own life. The last thing we need is more misguided fools here promoting the view that the world would be better off without the USA. The USA is unquestionably the single most potent force for freedom and stability in the world today and has been for 3/4 of a century.

      Those who accuse the USA of Imperialism are childern who don't know what real Imperialism is or was. Where would Afghanistan be now without the US intervention, to name just one example? What other nation would have taken as much care in a military campaign, or ever has in the history of the world? Yet these same voices could be heard bleating about the American bully after the attack on the US. This period in history calls for serious thoughts of the REAL consequences of actions, not childish pique over invented slights.

      The world does not foster hatred of the USA because the USA is arrogant. Regimes and anti-capitalist movements foster hatred because there are no negative consequences for espousing that hatred and only gain to be had, whether it's in deflecting domestic opinion or the potential for aid & incentives from the nation they profess to hate or some other hidden agenda such as deliberately undermining US interests through any available means. Unfortunately there will be longer term negative consequences of this and I don't just mean damage to US prestige. The immature who attack the US because of this silly prep school left wing debate over Imperialism will ultimately exact a serious toll from all the peoples of the world.

      One other thing, I am not an American. Just one of the very few grateful beneficiaries.

    6. Re:Katz, idiot by PD · · Score: 2

      That's semantics. Hated, disliked, boring! Where exactly do suppose to draw the line? Does hating imply readiness for action, even violent and/or illegal action? Does dislike not imply such readiness?

      So you are ready to pretend that words have no meaning?

      Hated and disliked are very different things. To hate something is not the same as to not like something. If I don't like something, it doesn't mean that I hate something.

      --
      If tits were wings it'd be flying around.
    7. Re:Katz, idiot by Flambergius · · Score: 1

      Now we both are really getting into semantics. I will make this one reply but I will not make further comments on this.

      You based your arguments in part on the meaning of "dislike" and "hate". Others don't hate the US, they dislike the US. IMHO that isn't very meaningful statement, but you seemed to hold it to very high value.

      You yourself point out that meaning of words is very important. Note, however, that hate and dislike are not well defined terms that can be used without dire risk of misunderstanding. Even worse, statements based on the difference of the meanings of hazy terms are often hazy themselves.

      Hated and disliked are very different things. To hate something is not the same as to not like something. If I don't like something, it doesn't mean that I hate something.

      According to Merriam-Webster's Online Distionary (www.m-w.com) one of the meanings of hate is extreme dislike. On the other hand, does it matter in the slightest? A person who dislikes something can in time come to hate it. It is acceptable to disliked by everybody else as long as they don't hate?

      Sorry about using questionmarks when I don't intend to reply to any possible replies. It's just my writing-style. I will probably reply to any comments to my original message, if they are about substance (as opposed to semantics).

      Also, I guess I must make it clear that I do not think that Europeans per se hate, or even dislike, the US. Most Europeans, again judging from in my experience, have very mixed emotions about the US. Dislike/hate, love, admiration, fear, envy can often be found in strange combinations.

      --Flam

      --
      Computers are useless. They can only give you answers - Pablo Picasso
  46. The Rock - Professional Actor. by ralian · · Score: 2

    Am I the only one who finds it incredibly hilarious that a WWF "wrestler" fits perfectly into the role of "professional actor"?

    Right, those fights aren't staged, really ;)

    --

    -raph

    1. Re:The Rock - Professional Actor. by ecc0 · · Score: 1

      Why are you posting with a sig like that anyway?

    2. Re:The Rock - Professional Actor. by *xpenguin* · · Score: 1

      Yeah, there's quite a few idiots that forgot.

      --
      Join the great slashdot blackout Apr 21-27

    3. Re:The Rock - Professional Actor. by big_cat79 · · Score: 1

      The best comparison I have seen so far for The Rock's acting is to Ah-nold in "Conan the Barbarian", made by a Washington Post review. Both are/were athletes, trying to break away from areas they are primarily known for (bodybuilding for Arnold, wrestling for the Rock). For his first shot at 'real' acting, I think Rock did a decent job. He's not going for an Academy Award. He just wants to entertain. And he did a fairly decent job of it.

      --

      BigCat79

      "The dead have risen and are voting Republican!" --Bart Simpson
  47. Am I the only one... by Caradoc · · Score: 1

    ...who thinks The Rock looks like Rob Schneider (of SNL fame, as well as Judge Dredd) on steroids?

    Especially with the raised-eyebrow face?

    I can just picture him saying something like, "Of course I can defeat you, Mr. 'Ah em de Law!'" to Stallone's Judge Dredd.

    --
    Specialization is for insects. - R.A.H.
    1. Re:Am I the only one... by JohnG · · Score: 2

      No you aren't! I've been saying that all along. Especially when you see early footage of the Rock.

  48. Note: by The+Great+Wakka · · Score: 1

    It seems oxymoronic...
    I understand what you mean, but oxymoron is a noun. It cannot be transmuted into an adjective or adverb.

    --
    Everything is mainstream now.
  49. You've gotta be kidding me. by andrew.hill · · Score: 1
    The Katz movie reviews are driving me insane.

    "The technology unravels almost as quickly as the plot. There are some good things about this movie, but the plot will drive nitpicking techheads and nerds nuts with its implausibility. "

    The same thing could have probably been said about The Scorpion King.

    Whereas

    "If you need escapist entertainment from your hyper teched-up lives, this is the movie for you. If the Rock can survive tyrants, thieves, traitors, arrows, impalement, knives, spears, swords, sandstorms, fire, poison, snakes and killer ants, you can get through a boring day at work. "

    Could have basically been said with a few different nouns about Panic Room.

    If you're going to view movies as escapes from reality- view them that way. If you're going to view them all as true to life extravaganzas, then you've got the wrong idea.

  50. Live free? by ggwood · · Score: 1

    I saw the movie. I enjoyed it. One observation: if The Rock's motto is "live free, die well" why does he become a king at the end of the movie? Why doesn't he just yell to his people "you are free now, no kings anymore"? I understand that they have to set this movie up so that he is the evil king of the next movie...but given his motto, he should try to free these poor people from absolute monarchy if he believes in freedom...or maybe only freedom for guys with huge muscles. (Excluding most /.ers I suppose).

    Also, why is everyone bashing Katz on this thread? I suspect if the Taco misspells Akkadian the posts to correct it would be very different.

    --
    a war on terrorism? How can we end a war on a method?
  51. Maybe movie makers should take advice from... by Patrick+Cable+II · · Score: 1

    ... cmdrtaco...

  52. of all movies... by sahala · · Score: 1
    to review, they (by they i mean the royal Katz in his pluralism) choose The Scorpion King.

  53. IS NOT! by autopr0n · · Score: 2

    Any media that displays Kelly Hu cannot, by definition, be 'lame' in any sense of the word (hella or otherwise)

    I feel stronly enough to break the /. boycott to bring this to your attention. Btw, the boycott is on, so you shouldn't even be posting!

    --
    autopr0n is like, down and stuff.
    1. Re:IS NOT! by Wiwi+Jumbo · · Score: 1
      Btw, the boycott is on, so you shouldn't even be posting!


      Does it matter that the only reason I'm posting anything right now is becuase the boycott *IS* on??

      Didn't think so...
      --
      Wiwi
      "I trust in my abilities,
      but I want more then they offer"
    2. Re:IS NOT! by EvilAlien · · Score: 1
      Alright, Kelly Hu would lessen the lame factor in the same way Jolie did for Boob... er... Tomb Raider. The movie still sucked (TR). I haven't seen Scorpian King, I'm basing my "it sucks" view on what I've been told by friends, what I've seen in trailers, and my hatred of professional wrestling. Hu is no reason to see the movie, if you want to see her check out Maxim or do a Google Images for her... its the Internet! Use it for its intended purpose... boobies.

      I just learned of the blackout today, after I posted. I don't intend to follow it, because I don't entirely disagree with Tacoboy. /. may have a high proportion of commenters/readers but that doesn't make him wrong. Besides, I don't really care either way, and I'd rather watch Scorpian King or read all the backlogged Katz reviews than be a sheep.

      --
      perl -e 'print $i=pack(c5, (41*2), sqrt(7056), (unpack(c,H)-2), oct(115), 10)'
  54. Is it just me... by Rorschach1 · · Score: 2

    Or does The Rock's head look exactly like one of those clay reconstructions they make from the skulls of murder victims or ancient mummies?

  55. not cool by hajmola · · Score: 1

    it's clear from the corrections pointed out in the earlier posts that katz has actually updated/changed his review without any sort of notification. i believe the slashdot community deserves to see all versions of the review, and updates should be tacked on to the end, as they are traditionally, not covered over discretely. it's too sneaky and dishonest. especially since the timestamp doesn't update!

  56. I'll defend the review! by hamsterface · · Score: 1

    I'm puzzled about the overwhelmingly negative, ad hominem, response to what I thought was a competent review. Admittedly, I never saw Bless the Child, but Chuck Russell's action movies are consistently over-the-top silliness. Everything in the movie is a cliche, but they're pushed a far too hard to be taken seriously. It's pure escapism, but in a self-satirizing manner reminiscent of such other directors as Douglas Sirk and Paul Verhoeven.

    Chuck Russell was smart enough to know how to handle a personality like Dwayne Johnson. He may not have gotten many lines, but they didn't go through any effort to hide his terrible acting, nor do they try to make him look like a rugged barbarian (Mathayus probably has the closest shave and best grooming of any man alive for another two millennia). Instead, they glibly borrow from the WWF for the fighting choreography. At the end, he raises his eyebrow just enough to pay homage to his alter ego. He is purposefully using Brechtian alienation; distancing the viewer from the illusion of the film so that the viewer cannot even try to take the movie seriously. I know it worked because I was not the only one giggling in the theater. It's this utter lack of emotionalism that makes me like this movie better than most Hollywood action movies that try too hard, like Pearl Harbor and Armageddon. A lot of movies are silly, but not all of them know how silly they are. The irony allows for someone like me to enjoy what is otherwise a completely child-oriented spectacle. Russell suffers from some of the other mistakes of so many American directors: cutting too quickly and zooming too closely to make the fighting coherent. The fighting still turned out slightly better than I was expecting, but I thought the last fight was terrible. He also pushed the cliches of the precocious kid and the wimpy comic relief further than I can stomach. I don't expect everyone to enjoy a movie like this, but I find most Hollywood movies so awful right now that I'm much happier with something completely meaningless as long as it's fun. Of course, I like MST3K movies better in their original format.

    Feel free to make fun of people like Katz for choosing to watch trashy movies, but I think The Scorpion King is an interesting film to think about. How do these crappy, emotionless movies reflect on US and it's fixation on meaningless entertainment, especially in a time like today? What do other countries think when we export these movies to them? All the posts seem to be a variation of, "It's Akkadian, you asshole," "It's rubies, fuckhead," "The rest of the world only thinks that people like you suck, not us," and "Fuck you." ???

  57. editors edit.... by efuseekay · · Score: 1

    before publishing it.

    To edit after publishing it is called "revision". And an honest person will put in a "changelog" to indicate the changes.

    --
    Mode (3) smart-aleck mode. Press * to return to main menu.
  58. No. Shakespeare is NOT in "Old English" by Chas · · Score: 2

    Shakespeare wrote in Modern English. What you're commenting on is, in part, prose, and in part "slang" contemporary to Old Will's day.

    Now travel back a bit further to Chaucer (another English author). Now THAT is Old English. And pretty much NOBODY nowadays can read the original text without lessons in how to actually read it. While it IS English, it's a form of it that is so different as to nearly comprise a completely separate language.

    --


    Chas - The one, the only.
    THANK GOD!!!
  59. Re:This was a blatent copy of CONAN THE BARBARIAN. by aggressivepedestrian · · Score: 1

    "I don't know why they bothered making it."

    There's this cool economic system called capitalism, based on a neat concept called "supply an demand". You should look it up.

  60. Comparisons by Chas · · Score: 2

    Oh-Shit situations:

    • Conan: Ah-nuld crucified to a tree and has a buzzard pecking at him.
    • TSK: Dwayne buried up to his neck in sand and has cheesy CGI fire ants loosed upon him.

    Acts of defiance in "Oh Shit" situation:

    • Conan: Ah-nuld rips the throat out of the vulture with his teeth.
    • TSK: Dwayne squishes a few ants with his massively developed chin.

    MUST I go on?

    --


    Chas - The one, the only.
    THANK GOD!!!
  61. Whatever. by SmittyTheBold · · Score: 2

    The hip-hop background in a movie allegedly set in ancient Babylon is pretty neat.

    No, really, it's not. Combining genres is nifty when it's original. When it's adding hip-hop to YET ANOTHER MOVIE, it's cliché.

    I used to enjoy JonKatz writings...but now anything by him really strikes me as eternally sophomoric. It's like I went back to high school and got all popular kids' opinions on a movie.

    --
    ± 29 dB
    1. Re:Whatever. by uradu · · Score: 2

      > I used to enjoy JonKatz writings.

      Me too--well, at least I used to take them seriously. But ever since he's playing the highly original game of Two Degrees Of Separation (from 9/11 topics) on anything he touches, I've lost any respect for him. Jon, not EVERYTHING is related to 9/11, and an amazing number of people don't really care all that much anymore, we don't all live in NYC and see Ground Zero every day. Get over it!

  62. SCAB!! by autopr0n · · Score: 2

    You scab bastard!

    Fuck, thats two already :(

    :P

    --
    autopr0n is like, down and stuff.
    1. Re:SCAB!! by Wiwi+Jumbo · · Score: 1

      Ha ha!

      "Victory is mine!"

      --
      Wiwi
      "I trust in my abilities,
      but I want more then they offer"
  63. Gayest Katz Article Title...Ever! by Self-Important · · Score: 1

    With a special shout out to Comic Book Guy and all my homies down in cell block D.

  64. Funny movie review of Scorpion King by tenzig_112 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Scorpion King Wows Moviegoers, Closeted Homosexuals

    If you ever thought pro-wrestling was a bit too macho not to be gay, read this article:
    http://www.ridiculopathy.com/news_detail .php?id=55 2
    an older one on the same subject:
    http://www.ridiculopathy.com/news_detail .php?id=4

  65. Unbeleivable by Psmylie · · Score: 2

    Katz bashes all over "Final Fantasy" and then recommends this piece of garbage? Man...

    --

    psmylie's dictionary: Godzillion (noun) Any number large enough to destroy Tokyo

  66. Hercules in Babylon? by roberto0 · · Score: 1

    This could be the makings of a new superstar.
    Remeber, Arnold Schwarzenegger was just a body builder before Conan .
    Check out Arnold's first acting credit if you dare!

    --
    Those who can, do. Those who can't, simulate.
  67. Can you.... by informer · · Score: 1

    SMELLLLLLLLLLLL what the rock, is COOKINGGGGG!?!?!??!?!

    --

    If a penguin dies in the woods, and nobody is around to hear it, what sound does it make?
  68. #1 movie last weekend by zaren · · Score: 1

    http://www.cnn.com/2002/SHOWBIZ/Movies/04/21/boxof fice.top10.ap/index.html

    $36.2 million in it's opening weekend... beat out the Matrix for a movie opening in April.

    --
    Come to the University of Mars! Classes starting soon!
  69. Re:No. Shakespeare is NOT in "Old English" by psamuels · · Score: 1
    Now travel back a bit further to Chaucer (another English author). Now THAT is Old English.

    Sorry, no, that is Middle English. Old English is even worse.

    And pretty much NOBODY nowadays can read the original text without lessons in how to actually read it.

    Lessons, or just a bit of practice. If you read it aloud it actually doesn't sound all that bad. It also helps to have a line-by-line translation to refer to for awhile until you get the hang of the common transformations.

    --
    "How can you claim that you are anti-crack, while still writing a window manager?" — Metacity README