Slashdot Mirror
SCOoby Snacks
A day with SCO is like a day without sunshine, I know that's what you're thinking. Novell is asking the court to dismiss SCO's lawsuit against them. Groklaw has taken a look at what is necessary to prove a 'slander of title' claim. And finally, reader loonix_gangsta wrote in and pointed to SCO's humorous 5 reasons to choose UNIX over Linux webpage.
To quote Garbage, I'm only happy when it rains.
A day with SCO is like a day without sunshine, I know that's what you're thinking.
Personally, a day with SCO is like a day spent having a hole slowly drilled in my head. Without pain killers.
But, hey, that's just me.
The right to offend is far more important than the right not to be offended. (Rowan Atkinson)
to think of the butter, but I can't get past the icing. Mmmmmmmmm icing.
It's hard to believe that's how Micronians are made. Why don't we see it right now by having you both kiss one another?
"The everyday business of a McDonald's restaurant requires a stable operating system that can give round-the-clock performance," said John Doty, Director of US Information Technology for McDonald's Corporation's Store Systems. "We are very pleased with the performance of SCO UNIX(R). SCO's platform has provided us with a very stable and reliable system. SCO UNIX(R) has been a dependable platform for thousands of McDonald's restaurants over the past 10 years and we're looking forward to migrating our restaurants to the current version."
Great, now we'll have obese people suing SCO!
Wait...that may not be a bad thing after all...
Because we're litigious bastards.
SCO UNIX(R) is Legally Unencumbered +5 Funny
Karma: Bad. Calmer, good.
BRILLIANT!! /. ing SCO to create a DOS attack!!
Through the link to SCO's anemic webserver. Good job, Rob.
Reason number 4 is "SCO UNIX is secure" and they later explain "These security features guard against business interruption, denial of service attacks....". So the DOS attack that took out their website last week was normal business operation?
-?-
A day with SCO is like a day without sunshine...
And a day without sunshine is like...night.
Whatever it is those SCO guys are smoking, I want some...
No, SCO has abandoned all such claims and now only claims that butter IBM made themselves with milk from their own cows based on their own butter making research belongs to SCO anyway and is thus "stolen" and thus IBM owes them money for selling butter.
At least in law.
What they claim in a sales brochure bears no more weight than "Everything's better with Blue Bonnet on it."
KFG
That was MyDoom.A. The new MyDoom.C is out and it has been programmed to overwhelm /. with inane, worthless stories, and subsequently TROLL the hell out of them.
Under number 4, they talk about SCO Unix being able to prevent denial of service attacks. Hmmm. Doesn't seem like if I were SCO, I'd be advertising that feature after last week.
"Backups are for wimps. Real men upload their data to an FTP site and have everyone else mirror it." -- Linus Torvalds
I can tell SCO isen't serious about Unix or Linux:
Their list started at 1 for cryin' out loud.
Moneyed corporations, non-working 'poor' and criminal prisoners are turning productive citizens into tax-slaves.
I guess "stagnant" is well-defined. SCO's recent investments in its technology core ($0) prove they are committed to stagnation, too.
How many people are thinking, "Whew, I'm glad my company isn't listed on that Hall of Shame page? I know I am!"
-- @rjamestaylor on Ello
You see, Linux is like a cake, with lots of ingredients contributed by different people. The SCO group claim that some of their butter was used to make the cake, perhaps to grease the baking tray the cake was baked on, perhaps it was ground into the flour mix by hand. Without the butter, the cake could not have been made. And it isn't possible to take the butter out of the cake now, the damage has been done. Q.E.D. the SCO company are perfectly justified in demanding recompense for their stolen butter.
But when IBM asks SCO exactly where in SySV this butter comes from, SCO answers that it it stupid to ask this question. And they can't tell exactly where the butter is from unless they get full access to all the fridges IBM have.
Their current theory seems to be that OK, there is no butter in SySV, but flour. IBM took flour from SySV, added its own special butter to bake an AIX cake. And IBM can't give the AIX cake to Linux because of the SCO flour. So it follows (they believe) that they can't use butter that have been used together with SCO flour in a Linux cake.
Sorry, but I think that SCO are nutcakes.
)9TSS
Buy our product, because we'll sue you if you use anything else.
Linux is unencumbered by Darl McBride. The audacity of this asshole is amazing.
SCO UNIX(R) is a Proven, Stable and Reliable Platform - for me to POOP ON!
SCO UNIX(R) is backed by a single, experienced vendor - lawyers who are unmatched in the legal profession
SCO UNIX(R) has a Committed, Well-Defined Roadmap - sue everyone and hope we make money
SCO UNIX(R) is Secure - because nobody knows or wants to know how to use it
SCO UNIX(R) is Legally Unencumbered - because no one in their right mind would copy it
SCO is the owner of the UNIX(R) Operating System Intellectual Property that dates all the way back to 1969, when the UNIX(R) System was created at Bell Laboratories.
Yes, I remember that great day, when Darl reached out of his crib, played with some punch cards, and voila!, a multi-user operating system was born. He was years ahead of Gates' measly DOS, and I know that Linus reveres him deeply as the grandfather of his own IP.
Of course, none of this would have been possible without the hard work of his venerable company, SCO, who, since the 1830s has been an innovator in computer technology.
*watches others mod SCO down -1 troll*
---
Never criticize religion on Slashdot. You will be modded down for "Troll" no matter how factual it is.
Comment removed based on user account deletion
SCO is the little gray raincloud that follows the Unix world around.
--- Ban humanity.
SCO UNIX(R) is a Proven, Stable and Reliable Platform
That's about as generic as it gets, funny that they never state how they came up with that. I can claim the same about linux using their method of spewing meaningless unsubstantiated numbers.
SCO UNIX(R) is backed by a single, experienced vendor
Because There aren't any experienced linux companies, and we all know how one monolithic company is better.
SCO UNIX(R) has a Committed, Well-Defined Roadmap
Straight down the crapper requires a ROAD MAP?
SCO UNIX(R) is Secure
My OS is secure too, no one has cracked into it yet. It doesn't boot yet, but it's secure as hell.
SCO UNIX(R) is Legally Unencumbered
Yes, because No One is trying to get SCO into court.
There is no reasonable defense against an idiot with an agenda
:wq
4. SCO UNIX(R) is Secure
Heh, yeah. "Bring 'em on!"
That was the turning point of my life--I went from negative zero to positive zero.
2) SCO UNIX(R) is backed by a single, experienced vendor - and Lord knows, vendor lock-in is a GOOD thing!
3) SCO UNIX(R) has a Committed, Well-Defined Roadmap - who cares if it's a highway to Hell.
4) SCO UNIX(R) is Secure - from legal attacks, unlike you, you friggin' thief! Give us your money! You owe us! Give it to us!
5) SCO UNIX(R) is Legally Unencumbered - and we truly believe that IBM's counteroffensive will do nothing to harm us. Really! It's all sunshine here at SCO!
Read the EFF's Fair Use FAQ
Anyone? Give it a shot, there's not much room left to screw up...
My favorite part was:
These security features guard against business interruption, denial of service attacks and protect against identity or corporate information theft.
Too bad those advanced features didn't work for SCO when they keep getting shut down by DOS attacks.
"We used to send megabytes of software to fix a 20 byte file," -Bill Gates
You'd think that SCO would at least be able to spell the names of their customers correctly: "Greater Manchester Police".
It's not like they have many. Even less that would agree to be listed as a case study.
Cutting a hole in one's skull is called trepanning. And it makes a lot more sense than SCO ever will.
Hit Goodwin's Law quick with this one.
1. SCO UNIX(R) is a Proven, Stable and Reliable Platform
Well, it worked when we bought it, and we're too busy suing people to update anything.
2. SCO UNIX(R) is backed by a single, experienced vendor
Vendor lock in, you know you want it!
3. SCO UNIX(R) has a Committed, Well-Defined Roadmap
Updates will only come when and if we feel like it.
4. SCO UNIX(R) is Secure
With market share like ours, who would bother to crack this platform?
5. SCO UNIX(R) is Legally Unencumbered
We're the one company you know SCO won't be suing.
It is just me, or does it seem like most of their case studies are POS systems of the earlier 90s?
:)
Where POS == Piece of $h*t. Sorry couldn't resist
To E-mail me, replace the first period in my domain with an @
SCO sez :
:
Its scalability, reliability and flexibility are legendary.
Merriam-Webster sez
Main Entry: legendary
synonym see FICTITIOUS
Shocker! SCO isn't lying!
One reason to choose Linux over SCO-Unix:
In a year, there will likely still be Linux vendors.
The SCO Group? In a year? Are you kidding? With IBM gunning for them? They are history; just a stain on IBM's rug.
(taking a page from Dave Barry)
SCO has a well defined roadmap, unfortunately the lug nuts of ethical competition came off the left front wheel of research and marketing, causing the SUV of profitability to crash into the ditch of bankruptcy.
try { do() || do_not(); } catch (JediException err) { yoda(err); }
In a year from now, after no new sales and legal fees, I think SCO will be financially unencumbered.
And hopefully Darl will be employment unencumbered too
JWall: GUI client for IPTables
That was until someone then announced that you can download the Unreal Tournament 2004 beta from www.thescogroup.com and now it's down again.
You are not alone. This is not normal. None of this is normal.
no.
it means you're running linux with nmap compiled for generic i586 pc.
thanks for coming out.
The Raelians don't have shit on these fuckers
Wishing I was a millionaire since 1969.
SCO UNIX(R) has a Committed, Well-Defined Roadmap
Translation: We hit the wall within a year.
Opus: the Swiss army knife of audio codec
On the stupid SCO page, they call the Greater Manchester Police the "Great Manchester Police". I think that some of the locals might disagree with that assessment of the quality of their local constabulary.
I should elaborate... I've been personally involved in several lawsuits of both types. That's why I'm sending these insightful comments to Slashdot from my parents' basement.
So they run McDonald's systems, eh?
OK, I think we all know who it is behind that Hamburglar mask now.
I had taken my kids there to play since it was cold and raining out. I was going to do some work on my notebook while they navigated the maze of plastic.
I had just logged into my Linux notebook when I was approached by a SCO employee who escorted me out of the "resturaunt". He told me he was sorry, but those were the orders from above. He told me he didn't have enough stock to dump before he then went back to his fry station.
As we left, I swear the guy running the drive through was Darl McBride himself. He was claiming complete ownership of all the fries in the bag and bemoaning the fact that Burger King fries are stolen from McDonalds because there is no way that Burger King could figure out how to fry a potato on their own.
1. SCO have proven themselves unstable and can be relied on only to make random legal claims with no actual backing.
2. SCO have recent experience only in pissing off their entire potential customer base and making half assed threats.
3. SCO CEO, Darl McBride should be committed.
4. SCO can't even take simple steps to stop a DoS of their own webserver.
5. SCO are currently in a legal quagmire of their own devising.
Disclaimer: This isn't a troll, I'm just a fucking idiot.
From SCO site:
"
1. SCO UNIX(R) is a Proven, Stable and Reliable Platform [Maybe 10-15 years ago...]
2. SCO UNIX(R) is backed by a single, experienced vendor [Experienced litigators...]
3. SCO UNIX(R) has a Committed, Well-Defined Roadmap [Over the river and through the woods... then to hell in a handbasket when their litigation fails.]
4. SCO UNIX(R) is Secure [Can't exploit something no one uses...]
5. SCO UNIX(R) is Legally Unencumbered [Buy Unix, and we promise we won't sue you.*]"
*Limited time only!
[Comments added for clarification.]
Now back you your regularly [re-]scheduled fiaSCO.
I think a better analogy is that IBM bought the butter and flour from SCO (actually their predecessor) and baked a cake with it. Then they designed icing for the cake without any of the butter or flour from SCO (of course who would put flour in icing). Now IBM has given the icing to put on the Linix cake. SCO says that since the icing was designed for the cake with SCO butter and flour, that it can't be used on any other cake. Or.... "all your icing are belong to us."
ben
cheers, ben
Never miss a good chance to shut up -- Will Rogers
> You'll find this line of reasoning is used often when business, or indeed any special interest, lobbies with politicians
We'll REALLY know when SCO has hit rock-bottom when they start using
"Think of the CHILDREN!"
"Won't SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!"
Hmmm... Maybe I should have kept that to myself... Hope no one from SCO's legal team is reading this...
I don't know the meaning of the word 'don't' - J
I thought I rather let that cat out of the bag when I admited I'd never played with Lego bricks as a kid because there weren't any.
It's a bit late to try to tuck my greying ponytail under my hat now.
KFG
Oh, come on. I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.
Not vulnerable to Denial of Service????
What the *&^%? Why didn't they put it up
instead of the other web server?
That was hilarious!!
SCO UNIX(R) has all of the security features of the higher priced UNIX(R) solutions but at a fraction of the cost. These security features guard against business interruption, denial of service attacks and protect against identity or corporate information theft.
If only! MyDoom would have been rendered impotent!
Who am I to blow against the wind? -- Paul Simon
nah... no brain, no pain :P
Heck, the only way some of these /. 'rs can get a date is if they date themselves.
No, they run Linux so they can charge themselves $699 per copy, thus adding $699 each to their revenue numbers...
Ooh, a sarcasm detector. Oh, that's a real useful invention.
A few years ago? Running around, robbing banks, all whacked on Scooby Snacks? How appropriate. I think the group was Fun-Loving Criminals, which is appropriate, too, except maybe for the fun-loving part.
I can explanate how to administrate your network. You must configurate and segmentate it, so it can computate.
Yes, but my name is Darl, and I am sitting behind that machine.
Based in Lindon, Utah, SCO has a worldwide presence
Uh, worldwide presence? I live in Orem, literally blocks from Lindon. The last thing I'd call their presence is "worldwide"
"Behind Home Depot" comes more to mind, than worldwide.
Five Reasons to Choose UNIX(R) Instead of Linux(R)
1. SCO UNIX(R) is really, really old.
SCO UNIX(R) has been used in thousands of businesses and governments around the world for centuries. Its scalability, reliability and flexibility made it the number one choice of Alexander Gram Bell, Augustus Caesar, and the East India Spice Company. SCO UNIX(R) is the number one UNIX(R) on transistors, vacuum tubes, and parchment. It's so old even we don't have a copy of our source code anymore.
Case Study: the Russian Revolution
"We knew there was an integrated and reliable solution out there, but at first we were not quite sure who the right comrades were to make this a winning solution for the people," said Joseph Stalin, Director of Information Systems. "SCO provided the most flexible and manageable solution to handle our glorious revolution's requirements for counter-revolutionary espionage, tracking, and disposal, and the even dispersal of grain to the ruling class. Plus, they provide a positive model for our society."
Not only has the SCO solution reduced redundancy in Russia's information torture program, it has virtually eliminated errors in the country's nuclear launch program. "The SCO solution has allowed Russia to remain a glorious world power, with a brilliant, controlled future and no end in sight. Just like SCO."
2. SCO UNIX(R) is ours, everywhere
All ours. Yup. SCO's award winning team sells our SCO unix worldwide, in all 7 continents and several oceans. Based in a P.O. Box at a Mail Boxes Etc. in a mall in Florida, SCO's millions of technical staffers and billions of happy support personnel provides the infrastructure your business needs to avoid copyright tussles with companies like SCO, who, BTW, owns UNIX(R).
Case Study: AT&T
"And we thought we had a monopoly. It turns out not only does SCO own the operating system we created, they also own our infrastructure, parasitic business practices, and the customer service reputation we built up over many years."
"They own the software that runs my car, the printing press, catfish, and the insanity defence."
SCO's lawyer interjects. "Don't forget, We also own your children."
3. SCO UNIX(R) has a Committed, Well-Defined Roadmap
Umm...
4. SCO UNIX(R) is Secure
SCO UNIX(R) combines the security of high-priced UNIX(R) solutions with the low cost of high-priced UNIX(R) solutions. We do, after all, own UNIX(R). These security features include Obscurity, and a free trial copy of Zone Lab's ZoneAlarm(R).
Case Study: the PHB
"What we really needed was a rock-solid, reliable operating system clueless people like me could buy without configuring anything," recalls the Pointy Haired Boss, technology manager at your company, between the 17th and 18th holes. "That's where SCO came in. Once I got past that whole 'double clicking' thing, SCO UNIX(R) was a breeze to install, with a little animated wizard and everything. And unlike other operating systems that issue security bulletins every few months, I've never heard of a problem with SCO UNIX(R)."
"SCO UNIX(R) has absolutely no security flaws," Said the PHB's caddy, wearing $200 Tiger Woods Nike shoes, a Rolex, and a smirk the size of his Hummer.
5. Buy SCO UNIX(R) or we shoot this dog
SCO is the sole owner of the UNIX(R) Operating System Intellectual Property Related Activities that dates back to the discovery of electricity and beyond. Through a hole in space and time, SCO has acquired ownership over UNIX (and its derivative QNX), BSD, Nils and Anna Torvalds, and mathematics. We're not going to let a good side business like selling UNIX(R) go to waste.
As early as May 2003, we warned Linux(R) users that enterprise use of the Linux(R) operating system was in violation of its intellectual property rights in SCO UNIX(R) technology, as will be determined in US courts. Linux(R) users were warned to either pay a reasonable 699$ per processor per user per ye
The ______ Agenda
I didn't realise 'Linux' was a registered trademark. Who owns that trademark?
Maybe SCO registered it because they clearly own it...
Monday: lawsuit.
Tuesday: lawsuit.
Wednesday: MadLibs Lawsuits(R)! "__ is __." [Linux, GPL, IBM] [unconstitutional, scary, stealing our money].
Plan B: Sell the stock quick before we file bankruptcy.
-Uberhund
Some of us really dont want to think of the butter<shudder>
Here's what NetCraft shows for SCO today:
OS, Web Server and Hosting History for www.thescogroup.com
OS Server Last changed IP address Netblock Owner
Linux Apache 3-Feb-2004 216.250.128.21 NFT
NetBSD/OpenBSD Apache 2-Feb-2004 216.250.128.21 NFT
And when you go to the the Netblock owner and peruse the SCO entries there, you see that 19 of the 22 SCO servers shown are apparently running linux.
You may draw whatever conclusions you wish from this... :-)