Earthlings: Ugly Bags of Mostly Water

darthcamaro writes "Earthlings Ugly Bags of Mostly Water is the name of a new documentary film - starring Worf (aka Michael Dorn)about Klingon language and culture. They've got a weird website too. 'Earthlings: Ugly Bags of Mostly Water' captures the lives, passions and quirks of the members of the Klingon Language Institute during their annual qep'a' (conference). The film's producers issued a press release about it today with some interesting quotes... 'The perspective of Michael Dorn, the world's most recognized Klingon, provides both serious and comedic elements to the project,' said Earthlings Director Alexandre Philippe. 'This is a man who embodies all the elements of a Klingon warrior: honor, respect, ferocity. For years, Klingon fans have looked to the Worf character for their education in Klingon culture.' Quaplah! /. !!"

Comments

HK-47?

[Liselle]

Earthlings: Ugly Bags of Mostly Water

Statement: This documentary needed to be made. I still don't understand how the meatbags stand living. The sloshing sounds would drive me insane.
Aside: Michael Dorn is not bad for a meatbag, though clearly a droid would make a superior host .
Resigned: *sigh* If only my assassination protocol were still functional.
Appeasement: Maybe they will make a sequel.

Oh HK-47, what WOULD we do without you?

Re:HK-47?

[hagardtroll]

There was an article in Omni magazine many years ago that was very similar.

Re:HK-47?

[AndroidCat]

It's not an aside if I can hear it, ya' know.

Re:HK-47?

[Chalybeous]

I dunno about HK-47, but if people like this (the folks on the video, not Liselle!) become the dominant life form, I swear I'm going to get an AK-47. ("When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, accept no substitutes.")

Re:HK-47?

[Impy the Impiuos Imp]

Aren't Klingons Uglier Bags of Mostly Water?

Re:HK-47?

[linzeal]

Yeah just like we needed a Klingon Language version of perhaps the most tragic and treacherous play ever made Hamlet. Wait maybe it was first written in Klingon and Shakespeare escaped a holodeck program during one of those Dr. Moriarty's escapes, found a copy of He'rawero'k (Hamlet) and a Klingon/English Dictionary stole a shuttlecraft than found one of the omnipresent 'time distortions' slipped through back to the 16th century killed his old self and wrote He'rawero'k as the Hamlet we know today, Plagerist Bastard!

No

[EpsCylonB]

'Earthlings: Ugly Bags of Mostly Water' captures the lives, passions and quirks of the members of the Klingon Language Institute during their annual qep'a' (conference).

I'm sorry but it's people like this that give science fiction a bad name.

Re:No

[SubliminalLove]

On the contrary, it's people who take sci-fi as more than mere entertainment who give the genre it's amazing power. Consider those dreamers, many obsessed in their adolescence with worlds beyond any possibility, who thirty years later orchestrated the landing of a human being on the surface of the Moon. True fans of science fiction, who see the futures portrayed therein as possibilities waiting to be unlocked rather than foolhardy dreams, are our pilgrims into the future. As odd as they might seem, they are an incredibly valuable portion of our species.

Re:No

[RavidgeMole]

How so? Such dedication is shown to other stories in our culture (ex: Tolkien, Star Wars, Steven King, Shakespeare, etc). There are conferences, movies, and classes dedicated to their material as well. Why does doing this with Star Trek give SciFi a bad name, and someone taking a class on Dante's Inferno not?

Re:No

[chimpo13]

As opposed to Stovokor, the Klingon metal band from Portland. No web site yet. Featured in the upcoming Trekkies 2 (straight to dvd on August 31st). Along with other geeky nerdy punk rock Star Trek bands like:

No Kill I
No Kill I: The Next Generation
No Kill I: Deep Space 9

I love being in a Star Trek band, and I love that 2 other bands used our name to name their bands with.

I'm not scared of daylight though. In October I start to ride a Ducati 250cc motorcycle round the world.

Re:No

[EpsCylonB]

Why does doing this with Star Trek give SciFi a bad name, and someone taking a class on Dante's Inferno not?

I have to disagree, very few people take either written or visual media as seriously as "Trekkies" do. Such feverish obsession reminds me of when I was a child and used to watch Ghostbusters and Superman repeatedly. Eventually I grew up.

Don't get me wrong, I like sci-fi, I like Star Trek (TOS and TNG anyway) but some people just take it all to far.

Re:No

[Reducer2001]

I don't think Neil Armstrong speaks Klingon.

Re:No

[Anonymous Coward]

Of course not. Neil is a very brave and very famous rocket jockey. He was a test pilot who just broke an altitude record. He is not a geek. The geeks stayed on the ground and made sure he didn't go boom.

Re:No

[eyeye]

Yes but having a bumpy forehead and behaving like I do first thing in the morning is hardly *science* fiction.

Re:No

[RavidgeMole]

I have to disagree, very few people take either written or visual media as seriously as "Trekkies" do.

And I, in turn, must disagree with this. :) According to your statement "Trekkies" are the only ones, besides few, that devote most of their time to a written or visual media. Why then do students major in film and literature, hordes of populace attend movie theatres, towns pay for public libraries, etc? If "Trekkies" are the only ones that take such mediums seriously, then why is so much money being put into these mediums by the mass populace?

Re:No

[teeker]

True fans of science fiction, who see the futures portrayed therein as possibilities waiting to be unlocked rather than foolhardy dreams, are our pilgrims into the future.

True, those people definitely exist, however most hardcore sci-fi fans aren't inspired visionaries....they're just plain old dorks. ;-)

Re:No

[kaisyain]

This is only true if the people who dress up at Sci-Fi conventions or go to Klingon Language Institute gatherings actual comprise a sizable percentage of the scientists who make the kinds of achievements you talk about. I've seen nothing to suggest this might be the case. Certainly many scientists are fans of science fiction. But the OP wasn't just about sci-fi fans. It was about a particular kind of sci-fi fan who makes the whole genre look bad.

I would wager that not very many members of the Mars Pathfinder team dress us as Klingons. A "true" science fiction fan is not defined as "someone who learns Klingon". I don't know why you seem to implicitly assume that the people being discussed are the pilgrims to the future.

Re:No

[nwbvt]

If you are equating taking a class on Dante's Inferno with learning Klingon, it is people like you who really give science fiction a bad name. BTW, some Tolkien fans and Star Wars fans are just as bad, though I have never seen any Stephen King fans or Shakespeare fans take their hobbies nearly as far as the stereotypical Trekie.

Re:No

[Blastercorps]

These people don't treat it as SF though. To them it's fantasy. They are copying something they saw on TV for god's sake. True science fiction takes today's known laws of science and extrapolates. Star Trek starts with a writer's plot and then has pseudo science added to it. The deisgners of Star Trek do not get biologists, anthropologists and physicists together to theorize what an alien would look like. Klingons aren't even that creative a design, just the ridgy forehead that trek is infamous for. IMHO the works of Isaac Asimov, Larry Niven, Pohl Anderson and others are vastly superior SF that Star Trek. Unfortunately that kind of hardcore SF doesn't make good TV so it stays in paper form. Those who dream about what if, that take science fiction (emphasis on science) as more than entertainment ARE the future, I agree with you there. The people in this article are not that kind of people. They have been TOLD a possible what if and have become obsessed with it. If these wannabe klingons had learned a language that didn't require human vocal chords that could actually be used to communicate with extra-terrestrials then I'd be impressed.

Re:No

[NarcolepticPenguin]

Around the world, huh? Now _that_ is science fiction.

Re:No

[dillon_rinker]

The deisgners of Star Trek do not get biologists, anthropologists and physicists together to theorize what an alien would look like

Ummm....yes, they did. Besides appearance, they considered biology, culture, and physics. Granted, they needed aliens who could be represented by human actors, but that was an unavoidable compromise. (Consider the Horta, though.) What you say may be true of Enterprise, Voyager, Deep Space Nine, or Star Trek: The Next Generation, but it is most definitely NOT true of Star Trek.

Re:No

[EpsCylonB]

Why then do students major in film and literature, hordes of populace attend movie theatres, towns pay for public libraries, etc?

*Sigh*

yes but these people don't focus all their attention on a single instance of media like Trekkies do. Most people are capable of enjoying a film and even enjoying a particular genre without obsessing about it like some science fiction fans. I thought this point was fairly obvious and didn't need explaining.

Re:No

[NanoGator]

"I'm sorry but it's people like this that give science fiction a bad name."

Worse is when the people say "It wasn't a Klingon that called people ugly bags of mostly water!"

Re:No

[chimpo13]

On a tiny 38 year old Italian motorcycle. Doomed, I tells ya.

Re:No

[NanoGator]

"How does having a good memory give the genre a bad name? Please elaborate. "

Find a chick, tell her about the documentary, then explain to her that a Klingon never said that. When that's done, tell me about her reaction.

Re:No

[lvdrproject]

That is an under-statement. This is so stupid i want to kill myself. ;_____;

Re:No

[mattstat]

The trailer, after endless minutes of self-loving, aren't-I-ironic-sad-but-insightful music, finally shows one cosplayer asperating Klingon. Oh my God, does this thing look boring, boring, boring. If you want funny, stick to Trekkies or Galaxy Quest.

Re:No

[tommyboyprime]

There is in fact some debate that scientific advancement comes from people reading about gadgets in science fiction and going on to invent them because "that would be a neat thing to have"

Re:No

[RavidgeMole]

without obsessing about it like some science fiction fans

I think you are going to find this type of following no matter what genre or medium you look at. Anyways, it's been a day since this started, let's just be good /.ers and agree to disagree & go onto something more current. ;)

Ahead geek factor 6

[nizo]

Michael Dorn, the world's most recognized Klingon

You do realize he only pretended to be a klingon on TV/in the movies right???

Re:Ahead geek factor 6

[SlayerofGods]

Hey we don't ruin your fantasies, don't trample on ours.

Re:Ahead geek factor 6

[jo42]

Yeah, no kidding, does "Get A Life" mean anything to these folks...?

Re:Ahead geek factor 6

[JabberWokky]

I would say that the top five or ten most recognized detectives are all fictional (starting out with Sherlock Holmes). Telly Savalis's Kojack and Peter Falk's Columbo are up there on the list.

Recognition of an actor as a famous or 'most recognized' "something" is not confusing the fact that they are actors. It's merely shortcutting the phrase "{character}, as portrayed by {actor}, is the most recognized {type of character}. When people think of {actor}, they think of {type of character}, and if you think of a {type of character}, you think of {character} as portrayed by {actor}."

If you think of "Vampire Slayer", you are likely thinking of one of five actors who portrayed them. Probably one of two characters (Van Helsing or Buffy).

It doesn't mean any of it is real... but "recognized" is a slippery term when dealing with fiction.

--
Evan "Didn't check any of the spelling of the names"

Re:Ahead geek factor 6

[Chalybeous]

Yeah, no kidding, does "Get A Life" mean anything to these folks...?

Sure it does. Except that Radio Shack can't order one without a part number.

Re:Ahead geek factor 6

[AndroidCat]

does "Get A Life" mean anything to these folks...?

Yes, but you have to say it in Klingon.

Re:Ahead geek factor 6

[Sporkinum]

get a life
klingon version:
------------
tlhap [a] yIn
------------

Universal Translator Assistant 2.3
Joel Peter Anderson, June 16, 1999
Visit the UTA Project at
http://members.aol.com/jpklingon/uta

Re:Ahead geek factor 6

[darthcamaro]

Ever see that South Park episode where Cartman gets Mr. Worf to help them 'drive to freedom' ? Of course klingons are real...I had my Betleth could reach though the /. interface I'd show you just how real.

Re:Ahead geek factor 6

[nizo]

If you think of "Vampire Slayer", you are likely thinking of one of five actors

You do realize that vampires aren't real right? (Sorry couldn't resist, don't get mad just teasing ya). Seriously tho, I will happily ghostwrite Mr. Dorn's book, "I am not Worf". After it sells a few million copies and everyone forgets about him, I will happily write the followup, "I am Worf After All, Please Give Me Your Money and Adoration".

Re:Ahead geek factor 6

[meepzorb]

Radio Shack can't order one without a part number.

Dont forget all those damned forms you have to fill out.

And you thought buying BATTERIES there was painful...

Re:Ahead geek factor 6

[JabberWokky]

You've just gotten really geeky there. Of course, I have both volumes sitting right next to a copy of Spock Must Die!

--
Evan

Re:Ahead geek factor 6

[JamesTRexx]

Maybe he IS a Klingon, pretending to be a human?

Re:Ahead geek factor 6

[poot_rootbeer]

If you think of "Vampire Slayer", you are likely thinking of one of five actors who portrayed them. Probably one of two characters (Van Helsing or Buffy).

Not me, I think of Simon Belmont, star of NES's "Castlevania" and "Castlevania II".

I just out-geeked you! 1-UP!

Re:Ahead geek factor 6

[iabervon]

If I think "Vampire Slayer", I am actually thinking of one of five characters of that sort. I doubt I'd recognize any of the actors if they bit me while out of character. I recognize Michael Dorn's name, but I doubt more people would recognize him as (playing) a Klingon than would recognize some Klingon extra as a Klingon. If I saw him on the street without the makeup, I'd have no clue who he was. (Unlike Leonard Nimoy Bunker Hill, who grew up a few blocks from here)

"Recognized" when dealing with fiction is no different than otherwise; it's a matter of public perception, and reality is irrelevant.

Re:Ahead geek factor 6

[JabberWokky]

Simon Belmont is a Vampire Hunter. I included Van Helsing because that's what the most mainstream figure is. I excluded Myu and other anime figures for the reason they are not mainstream. In retrospect I should have included Wesley Snipes. Not only is Blade well known, he's also technically (by subtitle) Blade, the Vampire Slayer.

Remember, we're talking "widely recognized", not "considered by geeks to be the coolest". When I think of Klingons, I think of John Colicos, but I understand that most people don't recognize his name nor connect it with Klingons. The name Simon Belmont is hardly "widely recognized", and there is no stable visual representation that is recognizably him.

--
Evan "Christopher Lloyd as great too"

Re:Ahead geek factor 6

[NanoGator]

get a life
klingon version:
------------
tlhap [a] yIn
------------

Universal Translator Assistant 2.3
Joel Peter Anderson, June 16, 1999
Visit the UTA Project at
http://members.aol.com/jpklingon/uta

Oh that reminds me, today's Friday isn't it?

Re:Ahead geek factor 6

[JabberWokky]

Aye, but not a cannon nor "widely recognized" representation. Too many variants.

Probably the most interesting example is James Bond. People picture him (a fictional character) as one of the actor - and tend to be very very defensive of who they picture as the quintessential Bond.

--
Evan

Re:Ahead geek factor 6

[WWWWolf]

Actually, more like "yIn yISuq".

"yIn" is "life", "tlhap" would be "take"; perhaps a bit too literal and subject to misinterpretation by humans. "Suq" would be "aquire, obtain, get". "yI-" is the imperative verb prefix (for "you-it" sentences). Klingon follows the object-subject sentence structure, so a very literal translation would be "Life - get it!"

Of course, it's possible to leave out the imperative prefix in a desperate situation where giving full commands is bad: "yIn Suq" (sounds suspiciously like "you suck" if you're in middle of a phaser fire exchange). Or, even leave out the verb entirely: "yIn". Federation ship captains might use the similar command form "Life!", uttered with same tones as "(On) visual!" or "Evasive maneuvers!"

(Disclaimer: Been a while since I did anything in the language. =)

Makes you wonder...

[Mysticalfruit]

What percentage of water are Klingons?

Re:Makes you wonder...

[Professr3]

They think prune juice is a delicacy. How much water can they have, if that doesn't give them trouble? :D

Re:Makes you wonder...

[anagama]

• What percentage of water are Klingons?

Typically, more than 99% of water is water, the remaining 1% or less being minerals, salts, or pollutants (note - this is a made up statstic, no researchers were disturbed in the making up of this number). However, I have heard of no reports of water being comprised of Kilngons, so it is probably safe to say that 0% of water is made up of Klingons.

Perhaps you were more interested in knowing what percentage of the Klingon body is comprised of water. The answer to that question is, sadly, more difficult to obtain.

Re:Makes you wonder...

[pipingguy]

However, I have heard of no reports of water being comprised of Kilngons, so it is probably safe to say that 0% of water is made up of Klingons.

Aren't KlingOns more accurately described when you combine hairy asses, TP and, umm, feces? AKA WillNots.

Someone had to say it. Well, actually, no they didn't, butt that's my scatology contribution for the day.

Re:Makes you wonder...

[SnappleMaster]

Aye, that was my thought. I think by definition this makes me a geek but the whole thing makes no sense. Klingons would be composed of roughly the same amount of water as humans since we're (as far as I know) supposed to be biologically similar.

Geek approaching! Red alert! Phasers to kill!

Re:Makes you wonder...

[TheABomb]

The same as humans, give or take. The title, I'm guessing (since I haven't seen the film), comes from the tlIngan insult (which I'd write in tlIngan Hol if I remembered it), "He has water for blood," meaning that someone is weak and cowardly.

Klingons don't usually drink water if there's anything stronger available.

Re:Makes you wonder...

[shadow303]

I haven't seen the film either, but the title is taken directly from a comment by a particular inorganic life form. Some were growing on the Enterprise, and after they had been patched through the universal translator, they addressed crew as "ugly bags of mostly water". Data commented that it was an appropriate comment since humans are mostly water within a flexible container. Now that I have said this, I am sure that you would be shocked to hear that I don't have a girlfriend.

pssst...

[goldspider]

He isn't really a klingon! Is this the next Adam West?

They're serious, aren't they?

[jrj102]

Look... I'm a star trek fan and everything, but there's a limit. Seriously. Outside. Sunlight.

Re:They're serious, aren't they?

[dr_dank]

Oh, you and your silly stories of the "daystar". Warp speed, Mr. Sulu!

Re:They're serious, aren't they?

[TeamSPAM]

I'm assuming that you saw today's Penny Arcade?

Re:They're serious, aren't they?

[ct.smith]

Perhaps you've read today's Penny Arcade?

http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3

Re:They're serious, aren't they?

[nacturation]

And risk the giant bright orb damaging my pasty white skin and burning its imprint onto my retina? Away with you, heathen!

Re:They're serious, aren't they?

[Anonymous Coward]

That daystar carries with it a damage modifier of at least 2D20... like I'm going to roll my way out of that one!

Re:They're serious, aren't they?

[NanoGator]

"Seriously. Outside. Sunlight. "

Some times, I pretend that our sun is a star, and I venture out. Others, though, I don't feel my away team is big enough.

Re:They're serious, aren't they?

[Chalybeous]

where do I find the "Post Humously" option?

Since this is a Trekkie thread, I feel I can now make the joke I've been dying to make about this sig...

It's dead, Jim ;-)

Re:They're serious, aren't they?

[nacturation]

Yeah, but you could probably still use it if you posted from the planet Genesis.

Re:They're serious, aren't they?

[Rupert]

"Your star burns!"

Re:They're serious, aren't they?

[red floyd]

Well, I guess you could try to post in red, so that your post would die a quick, painful, meaningless death.

Starting to understand

[0racle]

I'm really beginning to understand why so many people consider Star Trek fans just a bunch of dorks.

Now as such, why did they name it this, the title has nothing to do with Klingons at all.

Re:Starting to understand

[pknoll]

The phrase "Ugly bags of mostly water" comes from the Next Generation episode where... OMG.

I've just identified myself as a Star Trek Geek. Whoops!

Re:Starting to understand

[0racle]

Where an alien life form that lived a few centimeters under the sand of a planet the Federation was in the process of terraforming began to fight back. They refered to everyone they talked to as an "Ugly bag of mostly water." Once again, why did they choose this name, which has nothing to do with Klingons.

Re:Starting to understand

[D-Cypell]

Having been in this situation myself I can give you a little tip, which is especially useful when refering to earlier seasons of TNG.. ...comes from the Next Generation episode where... *notices violent look in buddies eyes*... Marina Sirtis was hanging right out of the that skin tight uniform... YEAH!!!

Infact, I believe they are teaching this technique at the academy now. Its know as the mammory defense ;o)

Re:Starting to understand

[normal_guy]

I still cringe when I think of that episode, especially Data explaining, "Humans are 85.9% water, and from their perspective, we ARE ugly" in that smug way with those tics. Damn that show sucked sometimes.

Re:Starting to understand

[Chicane-UK]

What.. so wearing a very ill fitting replica uniform, conventions, and "fan fiction" which screams sexual frustration didn't set the alarm bells ringing already? :)

I like Star Trek (looks up at Next Generation DVD box sets) but the nerdier side of it makes me shivver.

Re:Starting to understand

[NanoGator]

"Now as such, why did they name it this, the title has nothing to do with Klingons at all. "

So.. were you intentionally illustrating the dorkiness of Star Trek jokes by pointing out that the "Ugly Bags of Mostly Water" line wasn't said by a Klingon? I mean, that's 28 seasons of Star Trek to search through.

Re:Starting to understand

[bentonsmith]

Right, it has to do with a crystalline lifeform that lived in a highly salty layer of water under the surface of a terraformed planet.

OTOH, I usually say "Ugly bags of mostly salty water" when refering to people.

Re:Starting to understand

[Lord Omlette]

don't fuck w/ the geek
just cause he's got a gift
you get in my way bitch
you get a vulcan neck pinch!
-mc chris

Re:Starting to understand

[hal0zer0]

Sadly enough I was just about to post the same thing, I could recongnize just about any quote from any Next Gen ep. Which begs the question: Which is sadder, that I could do that, or that i'm actually proud of it?

Earthlings: Ugly Bags of Mostly Water

[ForestGrump]

Hey!
I'm a pretty bag...its just that i'm filled with "ugly water" because of modern industry.

-Grump

RE: Earthlings: Ugly Bags of Mostly Water

[pipingguy]

Or in my case, beer.

Scary

[N8F8]

I'm pretty sure this is how religions get started.

Re:Scary

[DarkHelmet]

This reminds me of Futurama:

Uhura: By the 23rd century, Star Trek fandom had evolved from a loose association of nerds with skin problems into a full blown religion.

Preacher: And Scotty beamed them to the Klingon ship, where there would be no tribble at all

Followers: All power to the engines!

Uhura: As country after country fell after its influenced, world leaders became threatened by the movement's power. So the trekkies were executed in the most befitting: virgins:

Trekkie: Bwaaaaaah!
Executor: He's dead Jim.
Trekkie: Bwaaaaaah!
Executor: He's dead Jim.

Re:Scary

[IceAgeComing]

I...cannot...say his name...forbidden...

Lord...AHH...Lord....XEMU!! AHHHHHH!

"He's dead, Jim."

Shouldn't that read ?

[Sonic McTails]

Ugly Human Bads Filled Mostly With Sugar Water ?

Re:Shouldn't that read ?

[scovetta]

Your bad.

Does anyone have the Klingon translation...

[Anonymous Coward]

...for "Mom, please come and pick me up."

Re:Does anyone have the Klingon translation...

[Daniel Dvorkin]

Gotta love people who hang out on a site subtitled "news for nerds" ripping on other people for how geeky they are.

Re:Does anyone have the Klingon translation...

[nacturation]

Reminds me of the Triumph the Insult Comic Dog lampooning all the Star Wars nerds. As a guy in an admittedly impressive Darth Vader costume talks to him, Triumph looks at his breathing apparatus and asks "Which one of these buttons phones your parents to come pick you up?"

Hilarious video is here.

Re:Does anyone have the Klingon translation...

[Mr. Sketch]

ghoS 'ej jIH Dung

Re:Does anyone have the Klingon translation...

[citizenc]

Somehow I think there is a difference between reading nerdy news (which is actually rather relevent to the Internet population as a whole; however, non-geeks tend to not care as long as it works) and learning how to fluently speak a fictional language. :)

Although one could argue that learning to code is speaking a fictional language... there's some good philosophy for ya.

Re:Does anyone have the Klingon translation...

[freeze128]

Is your Mom a Klingon?

Re:Does anyone have the Klingon translation...

[mandolin]

There's nerdy, and then there's nerdy. Good Lord.

..which is just another way of saying "perception is relative".

The "klingons" probably look down on roleplayers.. or those idiots who camp out at the new Star Wars premieres.. or those 50-year-old guys who dress as Sailor Moon (yeah, I read machall).. or -- heaven forbid -- linux weenies.

In fact, somebody out there thinks you are the lowest of the low, and ya know what? Fuck 'em.

Re:Does anyone have the Klingon translation...

[dswensen]

Yeah, I've seen that gag... funny how no one ever comments on the irony of an aging, balding 40-year old man with a hand puppet mocking other people for how nerdy they are.

Re:Does anyone have the Klingon translation...

[bezuwork's friend]

Already done.

Wasn't there a version of this in a DS9 episode? Worf explained that, in some parts, you get a thigh bone of meat from some largish animal (forget the name), walk up to the girl, smash everything off of the table with it, then throw it down saying you'll provide for her for life?

Ah, found it ...

WORF

Grilka is from the Mekro'vak region. It is customary among her people for the man to bring the leg of a Lingta to the first courtship dinner. Bring it fresh, as if you had just killed it.

[And as Worf talks, he stands and forgets about Quark for a moment... he's envisioning himself doing this with Grilka... savoring the mental image of courting her.]

Then use the leg to sweep aside everything on the table... and declare in a loud voice, "I have brought you this. From this day, I wish to provide food for you and your House, and all I ask is to share your company... and do honor to your name."

and here's some pictures of the girl he was pining after.

You guys totally lose.

[ebbomega]

It's Qapla'.

Re:You guys totally lose.

[Obfuscant]

Oh. I always thought they were saying "kreplach", and couldn't understand why we never saw the jewish klingons on TV.

Or was it "kerplop"?

Re:You guys totally lose.

[red floyd]

Worf WAS a Jewish Klingon... OK, his stepparents were, at least
</NERT>

I use that term

[Slowtreme]

I say "Ugly bags of mosty water" all the time to refer to some of the larger people at work. I once tried to explain the Star Trek episode it came from, but it was entirely too geeky for me to finish. In the end I just shrugged and said, "I dunno, something I read on Slashdot"

Re:I use that term

[TechnologyX]

I use that excuse a lot too

Q:"Why were you doing 85mph in a 35mph zone?"
A:"Had to get home to read Slashdot"

Q:"How in the world do you know that we can save this boy by injecting him with X68-9??"
A:"Saw it on Slashdot"

Re:I use that term

[Big_Al_B]

Does this title evoke Douglas Adams memory for anyone else?

Re:I use that term

[Pathetic Coward]

I say "Ugly bags of mosty water" all the time to refer to some of the larger people at work

Ladies and gentlemen, today's "encouraging his management to outsource his job to India" example.

Re:I use that term

[ConceptJunkie]

That would be "Ugly Bags of Mostly Harmless Water"

However

[Anonymous Coward]

They provide excellent reasons for forced sterilization.

Then again being able to speak Klingon pretty much does this without surgery.

Re:However

[shigelojoe]

You know, I've always wondered; do really nerdy Klingons learn English?

Re:However

[rabel]

Klingon Wedding

So, you think *you're* a geek? How about those guys?

Re:However

[freeze128]

Of course not! They learn Binary.

And the prize goes to ....

[Hi, I'm Troy McClure]

... the first poster to translate the Klingon in the submission, critique the Klingon grammar, and post a link to the online Klingon dictionary.

Quick, who will win the Slashdot Reality Contest (tm) this week!?!

Shakespeare

[dr_dank]

the translation of Hamlet into Klingon might be a disservice to the complexity of the author's intention

Like hell. If Hamlet were to be beheaded by Kahless, I might have paid more attention in English class.

Re:Shakespeare

[chowdmouse]

Perhaps. But you cannot truly appreciate Hamlet unless you've read it in the original Klingon.

Re:Shakespeare

[red floyd]

YOu mean this?

Re:Shakespeare

[Johnny Mnemonic]

I think this deserves a reply.

I would think that Hamlet would be very hard to translate into Klingon, because it's a play that's essentially about a guy that is too much of a coward to do what his dead father's spirit has charged him to do. I don't think Klingons would be very appreciative of Hamlet's character at all; and would stomp his guts for being such a snivelilng whiner in the face of a task that he was duty-bound to complete.

I would think that a Klingon would get much more appreciation from MacBeth--kill the King for not watching out for himself!--or Titus Andronicus. Maybe even Caesar.

But if I didn't have a life, I wouldn't have wasted my time translating Hamlet. And then trying to sell it on Amazon.

Re:Shakespeare

[gordgekko]

Good God man, Hamlet wasn't a coward. He was unable to be decisive. As the play clearly infers, he was respected by the people of Denmark as both a scholar and soldier.

Re:Shakespeare

[Tablizer]

If Hamlet were to be beheaded by Kahless, I might have paid more attention in English class.

To die, or to die without honor!

Only Constructed Language from Popular Culture?

[rowdent]

This film captures the life, passion and quirks of the Klingon Language Institute, an entity structured to support and facilitate the only "Constructed Language" to emerge out of popular culture.

I thought Tolkien Elvish languages (Sindarin and the like) would count as well, considering Tolkien spent a considerable amount of time creating those languages. Although, I suppose, "popular culture" is a rather subjective term.

Re:Only Constructed Language from Popular Culture?

[Selfbain]

But Tolkien created the language BEFORE it became popular culture. Klingon emerged after.

Re:Only Constructed Language from Popular Culture?

[datastalker]

There is also Vulcan:

Vulcan Language Institute

Re:Only Constructed Language from Popular Culture?

[Anonymous Coward]

Tolkien was also a very noted antiquarian scholar. He wrote ground-breaking essays on Old English, Proto-Germanic, and both Brythonic and Goidelic Celtic tongues.

Finally, I highly doubt Tolkien intended for grown men to feverishly obssess over his creation. Rather, Elvish was more like an academic excercize intended to more fully flesh out the world he created.

Summary: Tolkien was a brilliant scholar and craftsman. Klingons have no such artistic vision and are living in their parents' basement.

Re:Only Constructed Language from Popular Culture?

[WWWWolf]

Yeah, but are Tolkien's Elvish languages "marketed"?

You can go into any self-respecting Internet bookstore and order your copy of Marc Okrand's The Klingon Dictionary. Hell, I got mine from a regular bookstore, right out of the fantasy/sci-fi department. Paramount probably gets some pennies out of that book's sales.

But to get yourself properly aquaintated with the Tolkien's languages, you need to... ummm... as far as I know, there is no widely marketed books or references. If there were, it probably wouldn't sell very well. (Or maybe it would.)

Besides, Klingon was most likely designed to be simple enough to be learnable, yet expressive enough. Tolkien's languages, I've heard, are far too complex to just pick up and say something in. Tolkien cared about subtlety and history of the language, and he sure as hell made it just as difficult to work with as any dead language that is not completely researched. Okrand tried a to-the-point approach for a to-the-point alien race.

Re:Only Constructed Language from Popular Culture?

[sfsp]

Elvish was more like an academic excercize intended to more fully flesh out the world he created.

Actually, the world he created was more like an exercise intended to more fully flesh out the languages. Tolkien was a philologist, first and foremost. The "Hobbit" and "LOTR" stories were a tiny part of the corpus of works he created--epic poems, creation myths, all to give a framework to the seven or more languages he developed as a hobby.

Oh yeah.

[radiumhahn]

Oh Yeah... what's the kilngon word for loneliness...oh yes... GARRHHHHDOCK.

Nai Valaraukar tye-matar!

[centauri]

Hira cuilë!

Re:Nai Valaraukar tye-matar!

[Anonymous Coward]

Wow.

Trolling in Quenya on a Klingon thread. That has to get some sort of Slashdot geek prize. ;)

Re:Nai Valaraukar tye-matar!

[centauri]

What I can't figure out is why they'd go to all the trouble of figuring out what I wrote, just to mod me as a troll.

Unless they speak Quenya....

Google?

[Seoulstriker]

You can now search Google in the native klingon language:

http://www.google.com/intl/xx-klingon/

Re:Google?

[Anonymous Coward]

You can now search Google in the native klingon language:


But it is much better in Sweedish chef

Re:Google?

[Anonymous Coward]

Crank up the weirdness factor.

Why the title?

[beeplet]

Surely they could have picked a Klingon phrase for the title? The "ugly bags of mostly water" comes from the "Home Soil" episode where a crystal "brain" uses it to describe humans.

Re:Why the title?

[beeplet]

Or both? But having all 7 seasons of Next Generation on DVD (and no TV for distraction by lesser shows) does help...

Re:Why the title?

[NanoGator]

"Surely they could have picked a Klingon phrase for the title? The "ugly bags of mostly water" comes from the "Home Soil" episode where a crystal "brain" uses it to describe humans. "

Uh, why would it have been better to pick a Klingon spoken line? What relevance would it have to the meaning of the article?

Re:Why the title?

[beeplet]

Uh, why would it have been better to pick a Klingon spoken line? Uh, maybe because the article is about a documentary of "members of the Klingon Language Institute"?

Re:Why the title?

[NanoGator]

" Uh, maybe because the article is about a documentary of "members of the Klingon Language Institute"? "

And why does "Who said it first?" matter in the slightest bit? Is there some unwritten rule somewhere that when somebody says it, nobody else can think it?

Re:Why the title?

[Alexis Brooke]

If you recall, they ended up calling the organism a "microbrain", which was also a nickname lovingly bestowed upon Worf by Q. So, Ugly Bags -> Microbrain -> Worf -> Klingons. Ta da!

Re:Why the title?

[beeplet]

And why does "Who said it first?" matter in the slightest bit? Is there some unwritten rule somewhere that when somebody says it, nobody else can think it?

I didn't say they aren't allowed to use that as a title if they want... It just seems likely that there are plenty of more appropriate choices for the film. (Not knowing Klingon myself, I'm afraid I can't offer any examples, but I'm sure the people in the documentary could have come up with something.)

Re:Why the title?

[NanoGator]

"It just seems likely that there are plenty of more appropriate choices for the film."

Define 'better'. Is the statement they landed on inadequate, or is the problem that Worf never said it (on screen)?

Re:Why the title?

[Experiment 626]

I thought the choice was rather odd too. In the original context, a creature made of rock calls humans "ugly bags of mostly water", and it makes sense, because compared to a rock, we are. Coming from a Klingon, however, who are carbon-based humanoids like us and appear to have a similar level of water content in their tissue to humans, the phrase is very out of place.

Re:Why the title?

[Dr. Evil]

Bah! There are no lesser shows!

Re:Why the title?

[beeplet]

Define 'better'.

I didn't use the word "better," I said "more appropriate," which (in the words of the Oxford English Dictionary) is defined as more "specially fitted or suitable to." You don't think a phrase spoken by a Klingon would be more suitable to a film about people speaking Klingon?

Re:Why the title?

[Fjord]

Because Klingons are unlikely to think that since they are probably also made out of mostly water. It isn't a good name for the documentary.

Re:Why the title?

[NanoGator]

"You don't think a phrase spoken by a Klingon would be more suitable to a film about people speaking Klingon? "

In this case, no. If the phrase had been "Oops, I did it again!" then yeah, there would be a question of suitability.

Re:Why the title?

[NanoGator]

"Because Klingons are unlikely to think that since they are probably also made out of mostly water."

We don't know that. We do know they have lotsa bone, however. We also know they think we're ugly.

" It isn't a good name for the documentary. "

Nobody's provided a good reason for that. Frankly, it's a stupid dorky thing to nitpick.

Re:Why the title?

[Fjord]

It's basically because Chewbacca lives on Endor.

Hrmmm

[Gogl]

Reminds me of this hilarious Daily Show sketch (Realplayer, which sucks but oh well). The fact that they have almost every sketch from the past four years up on comedycentral.com has almost entirely destroyed my work ethic over the past few weeks...

Obligatory Futurama Quote

[CHaN_316]

"All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo!" -Morbo

Re:Obligatory Futurama Quote

[Steffan]

But my favorite...

"Kittens give Morbo gas"

Re:Obligatory Futurama Quote

[Daath]

Yes that is good! Also, "MORBO WILL DESTROY YOU!" and "Morbo is pleased, but sticky.", oh and:

"Our next guest has been teaching the world to cook for over twenty years, but apparently my wife hasn't been listening.

I WILL DESTROY HER!!"

hehe :) I love futurama :)

ST:TNG Episode

[tiltowait]

Home Soil.

Re:ST:TNG Episode

[Penguinshit]

wow.. that episode was a fucking ripoff of the original series where Spock attemps to mind-meld with the the inorganic (silicon-based) life form affectionately known as the "pizza-monster" ('cause it looked like a Round Table experiment gone horribly wrong).

Now that I've admitted I know all that, I'm forced to kill myself...

Re:ST:TNG Episode

[pyrrhonist]

life form affectionately known as the "pizza-monster"

You mean the Horta?

*pause*

Oh, crap! That was a geek trap, and I fell for it. Dammit!

Losers

[Anonymous Coward]

Wow, too bad /. doesn't have a "loser" topic, 'cause this would be it.

Regular /. readers should be embarrased that this was posted.

Re:Losers

[ThisIsFred]

Why was this modded as funny? It's obviously flamebait, and posted as AC no less.

Re:Losers

[3) profit!!!]

Technically, all of slashdot is a "loser" topic. ;)

Mr Worf...Eat any good books lately?

[nebaz]

Although there's nothing like the works of Shakespeare as read in the original Klingon...

Odd...

[radicalskeptic]

Was it the Klingons who referred to humans as "ugly bags of mostly water"? I was under the impression it was those weird crystal things from the episode Home Soil.

http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php? showtopic=927368&st=120 (search for "ugly", it is at the bottom of the page)

Re:Odd...

[Tyler Durden]

Exactly. Klingons are probably water-based as well. The title makes no sense.

Re:Odd...

[ivanmarsh]

No kidding! What's the Klingon word for: Non Sequitur?

Trailer

[Mmm coffee]

Direct link to the trailer (~2 megs), for those of us who don't/can't do the "view a movie in my browser" thing.

Re:Trailer

[irving47]

Thanks. It won't play worth shit on a Mac... Tried Safari, Camino, MSIE, and Firefox.

Mirror , just in case

[mirror_dude]

Hi their, just in case things go sidewise as it were I have put up a mirror.
The mirror of http://www.earthlings-movie.com/ is at http://mirrorit.demonmoo.com/r_7/www.earthlings-mo vie.com/
The mirror of http://www.prnewswire.com/cgi-bin/stories.pl?ACCT= 104&STORY=/www/story/04-30-2004/0002163991&EDA TE= is at http://mirrorit.demonmoo.com/r_7/www.prnewswire.co m/cgi-bin/stories.pl?ACCT=104&STORY=/www/story/04- 30-2004/0002163991&EDATE=

Oh dear god

[aliens]

I was wrong! Apparently there is a Queen Klingon to continue the species!!!

Say it ain't so!

Re:Oh dear god

[nacturation]

I think that Klingon bride is actually a guy. Later that night, in some cheap motel room, a groom will utter the ritual death cry as a part of him falls over dead, never again to arise.

Re:Oh dear god

[Paul d'Aoust]

"Post Humously" = "posthumously" = "after death". he (she?) didn't spell 'humorously' wrong; it was a pun.

Not really

[SuperBanana]

It actually makes me wonder(even as someone who has enjoyed the occasional ST episode) what the hell this is doing on the front page.

That and how pathetic our current moderators are that you could get moderated "insightful".

I wonder what is spoken more

[Savatte]

Klingon or Esperanto?

Re:I wonder what is spoken more

[Anonymous Coward]

The serious answer is that if you are looking for fluent speakers, you will find more Esperantists. I also noticed that the Klingon Language Institute has an Esperanto introduction whereas no Klingon speakers have done a similar page for the Universala Esperanto-Asocio. That says something about the relative availability of translators for the two languages.

Re:I wonder what is spoken more

[HeghmoH]

The Esperanto FAQ claims that Esperanto is spoken by roughly the same number of people as Latvian or Hebrew, i.e. enough people to fill a smallish middle-eastern or eastern-european country. Klingon is probably way behind. It's not exactly an impartial source, though.

Re:I wonder what is spoken more

[bandy]

Given that there are those for whom Esperanto is a native tongue, I'd have to go with more Esperanto speakers.

If you're such a nerd...

[bkhl]

how come you can't spell qa'pla.

Utterly intolerable

[l0ungeb0y]

I for one will not stand for such speciesist slurrs to be posted online or otherwise.

Ugly bag of mostly water indeed.
Atleast I don't look like someone squated over my head and took a crap on my forehead.

And besides, if Klingons are so great, why doesn't speaking their language get you laid?!?!?
You try saying "ghu neH Ha' lItHa'?" to some chick and see what happens.

Re:Utterly intolerable

[Dachannien]

"And besides, if Klingons are so great, why doesn't speaking their language get you laid?!?!?
You try saying "ghu neH Ha' lItHa'?" to some chick and see what happens."

Well.... she'll certainly end up wet.

Re:Utterly intolerable

[mopslik]

You try saying "ghu neH Ha' lItHa'?" to some chick and see what happens.

What's worse than saying that? Having the gal reply back, interested.

*shudders*

Re:Utterly intolerable

[painandgreed]

And besides, if Klingons are so great, why doesn't speaking their language get you laid?!?!? You try saying "ghu neH Ha' lItHa'?" to some chick and see what happens.

You've obviously never been to a con.

It's not that speaking Klingon can't get you laid but whether you want to get laid by the women that it will work on.

Answer: NaN

[jared_hanson]

The answer is "not a number." Now, for all you who actually cared, lean in closely, I'm going to tell you how I came to this conclusion: KLINGONS ARE NOT FUCKING REAL!

Re:Answer: NaN

[Paulrothrock]

Prove it.

Re:Answer: NaN

[susano_otter]

Holy shit! I had no idea that Klingons weren't real! I guess I should have done a little more research before totally buying into this whole Star Trek thing!

Or maybe you should stop being the only person on the face of the planet whose brain can't handle using concrete syntaxes to discuss abstracts and hypotheticals.

Re:Answer: NaN

[Reivec]

First santa and now Klingons?!! Man, you people are taking everything good away from me!

Re:Answer: NaN

[Wolfrider]

(Network exec, to Roddenberry -- circa 1966:)
"You guys act like that ship was actually up there, orbiting the planet right now!"

(Roddenberry:)
"It IS!!"

== Paraphrased, possibly from one of Shatner's biographies

Klingon culture fascinates me

[Anonymous Coward]

I've been a trekkie for so long, I own the entire of TNG on video, and most of the original series. I am soooo excited about this!
In unrelated news, I am 34 years old and live with my parents. I am also a virgin.

Re:Klingon culture fascinates me

[Nick of NSTime]

I told you to clean your room!

Pretended to be an atypical one, at that

[Atario]

For years, Klingon fans have looked to the Worf character for their education in Klingon culture.

The Worf character was supposed to be a bit of a stiff, over-serious, stick-in-the-mud, not a guide to Klingon culture -- result of straddling two cultures when growing up. All the other Klingons are more raucous, lusty hellions.

That said, I'd say the geek factor with this is at least a 9.

Oh, and Jolene Blalock, get a good gander, 'cuz this is your new permanent home.

Re:Pretended to be an atypical one, at that

[Wolfrider]

--Yah; if Worf is a guide to Klingon culture, the whole race is in trouble... He was always getting his ass handed to him in TNG. >>;-)

Re:Say this once...

[Paulrothrock]

We know it's a TV show. Real life just sucks. Make real life better, and maybe we'll live in it.

Worst. Movie. Ever.

[Aqua_Geek]

[Obligatory Simpsons Reference]

Comic Book Guy: Worst. Movie. Ever. I will only see it three more times. Today.

Nerd Alert!

[thebra]

I think that humans are a bit more than dirty bags of water. These guys need to come down to reality.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

someon has to say it

[genner]

For the bennifit of the norms who wondered in here by mistake I'll expalin where this quote from. It was how a cyrtal based life refered to humans, being entirley made of crystal it had little or no water in itself. If this makes me a geek fine. Go back to your "normal" converstation about Freinds or the latest reality show.

Water? Meat!

[MagicM]

I thought it was already decided that humans are made out of meat.

people like this

[moviepig.com]

...it's people like this that give science fiction a bad name.

"People like this" are society's excluded. And they (we?) will always exist because society will always exclude. And they'll find places to gather that are, well, exclusive.

Among the current crop of such places, Planet Klingon's not so bad.

Re:people like this

[-kertrats-]

Honestly...there is no 'Planet Klingon'. The Klingon homeworld is known as qo'nos (pronounced 'Kronos'). Your nerd license is hereby revoked.

Re:people like this

[MemoryAid]

Planet Klingon is a new series of theme restaurants from some of the galaxy's most noteworthy Klingons, like Worf, and, um, some other ones.

Re:Say this once...

[Big_Al_B]

Why are you looking for other people to make your "real life" not suck? No one else gives a crap about your happieness, so you deal with it.

FYI, that's what everyone else does.

Klingon-Elvish dictionary

[Anonymous Coward]

Years ago, there was a discussion in sci.lang about a planned Klingon-Elvish dictionary. Someone commented that several hundered years from now an archeologist is going to find a copy and cite it as proof that the two cultures once met.

Busted!

[Anonymous Coward]

It's Qapla'.

Meanwhile...

"Hey, Clem, get over here! The dork trap is full up. Gimme a hand gettin' this one out."

And now: Klingon Hamlet:

[RatBastard]

Prince Hamlet: You killed my father, stole his crown, married his widow and usurped the crown of Chronos.
King Claudius: This is all true.
Prince Hamlet: Impressive.
King Claudius: Hey, I can see my house from here!

Nerd Alert!-Friday's water.

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually we're bags of dirty water, except on friday nights. Then we're ugly bags of mostly flammable alcohol, and potato chips.

"Quaplah"

[110010001000]

As a certified Klingon instructor I would like to mention that should be "Quapla'" not "Quaplah". The word in derived from Qua (meaning "entity") and "pla'a" (meaning "winning/success")

Of course I am speaking about the Klad'u sects language, not the Phal'a. That would be just...stupid!

naDevvo' yIghoS!!!

I don't think he does...

[Weaselmancer]

Notice the wording above?

Earthlings Ugly Bags of Mostly Water is the name of a new documentary film - starring Worf (aka Michael Dorn)about Klingon language and culture.

Shouldn't that be Michael Dorn, AKA Worf?

You know, he was born Michael Dorn, and later on played a character named Worf.

Weaselmancer

Klingon Word

[AndroidCat]

Q'lipi': You are having problems. I will solve them!

Worst. Trailer. Ever.

[ChuckleBug]

All I could get was an itty-bitty screen with illegibly small text appearing in between soft focus shots of geeks' faces. WTF? Is that supposed to pique my interest?

Having said that, I agree that this depicts hyper-nerddom at its worst, but I can see why someone would have an interest in the Klingon language, just from a liguistic POV. Creating this language was pretty clever, and I think artificial languages are interesting. Then again, I don't think I'd take the time to become fluent and hang around with others who did the same. A bit much, methinks.

Visitor-Meter

[JawFunk]

Hmmm...I bet 10,000 of the hits on that 'Visits' counter are a direct result of this Slashdot posting.

A Fearsome Quote

[Dareth]

When speaking Klingon, be sure to speak forcefully. Some of the sounds may make the person you're talking to a little wet.
This is correct and to be expected.

http://www.kli.org/tlh/sounds.html

I know what I thought when I first read this...

Re:A Fearsome Quote

[JamesTRexx]

Yeah, I thought "They must really spit all over you while talking Klingon." too.

Klingon Speakers Now Outnumber Navajo Speakers

[kippy]

I would have posted the Onion link but they went and hid all their archives unless you pay them money.

"Ugly Bags Of Mostly Water" not said by a klingon

[borgheron]

It was said by the "crystal beings" on the planet that was being terraformed. They were sort of like living computers. They hooked the Universal Translator up to this thing and its first words were "Ugly.... ugly bags of mostly water..".

GJC

Nah...

[Mannerism]

'Earthlings: Ugly Bags of Mostly Water' captures the lives...of the members of the Klingon Language Institute

Too easy.

Not Humor?

[JThundley]

I was wondering why this story wasn't posted under "It's funny. Laugh" and I figured it out:
It's not funny, it's terribly, awfully sad.

One of two great lines from Next Gen'

[Impy the Impiuos Imp]

Ugly bags of mostly water is one of two great lines from Next Generation.


Anyone know the other one?

















We raise our children in fibrous husks.

Re:One of two great lines from Next Gen'

[4Lorn]

"Eat any good books lately?" Q to Worf.

Would fit as the title in this case.

Re:NOT REAL ?

[mlh1996]

Though i is really a number, the set of real numbers does not include i.

earthlings -- not just ugly bags of water...

[urbazewski]

.

bIHe'jIropchoH'e'

translation: Your smell makes me sick.

Rojqoq
Klingon Rock, mp3 & lyrics.

Re:earthlings -- not just ugly bags of water...

[beeplet]

Haha... Thanks - I was hoping someone would post a suggestion! :)

And what RPGs nerdy Klingons play ?

[master_p]

Most of their RPGs (paper-based) don't finish: either the player kills himself disgraced because he lost some battle or kills the dungeon master because he thought he cheated.

Yes but is Klingonish context free ?

[master_p]

And can we made a programming language out of it ?

And why Babelfish can't translate to Klingon ? :-)

Re:Yes but is Klingonish context free ?

[The_dev0]

I dunno, but you can certainly search in Klingon.

Re:Wow. Musicians who can't score.

[chimpo13]

Hey pal, we've got a girl and a half in the band. Well, one real girl and one cross-dresser.

Klingon word for NERD

[Prince Vegeta SSJ4]

Slagshdaat

Re:Klingon word for NERD

[TheABomb]

"SlaSDat" would be a better spelling. Or maybe "SlaS'Dat".

Re:Klingon word for NERD

[Hrothgar The Great]

I'm glad you corrected that guy, because SERIOUSLY you made the joke funnier and REALLY I'M NOT KIDDING you didn't just make a gigantic ass out of yourself or anything like that.

Actually it's 'stolen'

[Arker]

I was trying to figure out why the hell they were using this phrase in reference to Star Trek and Klingons (who are just as much 'ugly bags of mostly water' as humans are) and you gave me a clue on that - apparently it was ripped off for a TNG episode I haven't seen, eh?

But it certainly didn't originate there. The earlier reference I'm aware of (it's possible this traces back to an even earlier reference I'm not aware of, of course,) was a sci-fi novel where an alien pre-colonisation probe crash-landed on one of the moons of Saturn (maybe Jupiter?) and due to fortuitous damage to the self-replicating robotic terraformers onboard, developed an analogue to mutation in their replication processes and, voilá! evolution made its appearance in a robotic race. It's been decades since I read that book, but a little searching on google leads me to believe it was 'Code of the Lifemaker' by James P. Hogan, (c) 1983. Could be wrong, but it sure sounds like it.

So in that context, it made perfect sense, this race was completely electro-mechanical and the when humans landed and discovered them, they found biological life a completely unforseen and disgusting possibility. I'm at a loss to see how it makes any sense whatsoever in the context of Klingons, however, as I said they're just as much bags of water as humans... wtf?

Altitude record?

[uberdave]

Interesting that you associate Neil Armstrong with altitude records. Granted he is one of the elite few who have stood on the moon, but was he the person who made it furthest from Earth? After all, all of the astronauts orbited the moon, and thus were farther away than Armstrong's landing site on the close side.

Klingon Series

[Tablizer]

I would like to see a new Trek series that involves a handful of grunt Earthlings being assigned to a Klingon-commanded Federation starship. It might bring in WWF fans.

Speak Klingon, Get Paid

[shadowmatter]

For those of you who are fluent in Klingon, there's a job in Portland waiting for you.

Best quote:

"There are some cases where we've had mental health patients where this was all they would speak," said the county's purchasing administrator, Franna Hathaway. County officials said that obligates them to respond with a Klingon-English interpreter...

- sm

But The Quote Isn't Klingon

[thelizman]

What a terrible name for this documentary! That quote was from a crystalline-based life form that killed terraformers who were destroying their habitat in one of the first seasons of ST:TNG.

And what is equally frightening is that I know that.

Re:But The Quote Isn't Klingon

[jcuervo]

And what is equally frightening is that I know that.

What is more frightening is that most of slashdot did, too. :-)

Re:Trailer=Awful

[Mmm coffee]

You're a slashdotter. Even if I could give it back we both know you'd end up wasting it anyways. =)

I will try to b as nice as possible.

[eadint]

There are no Klingon's
Michael dorn is an actor
star trek was a very bad sci fi show (IE sound in space, absurd poetic license, liberal hippy crap and don't even get me started on the moronic prime directive the federation would in reality be the cock sucking whore of haliburton, and we would seek out strange new life forms to exploit and plunder)
if there were Klingon's either humans or Klingon's would have killed each other off
at 40 years old you are not suppose to be a virgin waring a costume in a hotel room speaking Klingon ( get laid get a life and move on)
please let star trek die it is a horrible atrocity and an abortion at best.
>

KLI vs ORI?

[jcuervo]

Kind of funny... In netrek, the races are KLI, FED, ORI, and ROM. (ORI == Orion.)

Re:NOT REAL ?

[Trailwalker]

You can't directly measure an irrational.

But you can read their posts.

I'm so hurt.

[ebbomega]

But I guess I just misread the thing at the top that says "News For Nerds."

My bad.

Re:The counter is stuck..

[ByteMangler_242]

No, they are using a new server system that uses a tachyon beam emmiter to transmit signal that travels backwards in time, making it possible to know what the site is about BEFORE you click.

Duh, don't you know that tachyons are the answer to any unknown Star Trek problem!

What about Wernher von Braun?

[Prof. Pi]

He was the visionary who invigorated the U.S. space program. And he spent much of his childhood learning German, which kind of sounds like Klingon. :-)

BTW, "ugly bags of mostly water" has nothing to do with Klingons. Those were the words of some snotty silicon creatures in a first season TNG episode called "Home Soil."

It gets worse...

[The Monster]

I'm sorry but it's people like this that give science fiction a bad name.

Here's some things to make it worse yet:

1. 'Quaplah' is misspelled (should be "Qapla'")
2. I noticed it.

First space shuttle

[Animaether]

No, but the very first space shuttle (which didn't go into space but was used for myriads of tests) was called the "Enterprise" in honor of.. ta-daa!

Re:NOT REAL ?

[mlh1996]

WTF was that?

The only point I can infer from your staement is that you believe the Math definition of the word "real" is the same as the English definition of the word real. I assure you that the difference is just as profound as the word "yo" in Spanish and the word "yo" in English street vernacular.

That's exactly my point. i is not a real number.

What's with the title?

[SeaFox]

Why is this documentary called "Earthlings: Ugly Bags of Mostly Water"? The episode of Star Trek: TNG that title refrences had nothing to do with Kiligons or their language, culture, ect.

way to go

[nappingcracker]

i say more power to 'em. whenever people get out and have a good time without hurting anyone and without reservations about having fun and expressing passion in their hobbies, it gives me hope.
that being said, i highly suggest checking out this documentary, it was great. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120370/

im no treckkie, but i enjoy getting down as much as these people, just not with startrek. better than being a lame naysayer and cynic.

The "Ugly Bags..." line is STOLEN! I think.

[SamDrake]

I read a non-Star Trek sci-fi novel a very long time ago that used the same line. In the story, a species of space-faring sentient beings saw in microwaves instead of human-visible light. They basically could see through humans; we were visible simply as shadowy blobs with some internal structure. So their name for humans was "ugly bags of dirty water".

The Star Trek people stole it! I'm shocked!

(Of course, I can't recall who wrote the novel I'm thinking of, or when - so I can't reconstruct the chain of events - but I'm SURE the ST folks are guilty. Yeah.)

Kingons = Scariest people to meet at a convention

[Zenmonkeycat]

People who think 'Trekkies' are flabby, out-of-shape dorks with no lives have apparently never been to a Star Trek convention... Sure, you see many people wearing Star Fleet uniforms from every single series, talking about the differences between Miranda and Goddard-class vessels (which is pretty meaningless, since everyone knows that a Miranda could kick the ass of a wimpy research ship like the Goddard.)

But then you come upon the Klingons.

These dudes are insane. They've got clothing that took years to make, weapons made out of solid steel, and forehead ridges that would make the official Trek makeup artists cry with shame. And heaven forbid you say something insulting, like mentioning how stupid they look with that Romulan phaser, when Klingon phasers would be just as easy to make. Hearing fifty huge guys (and ladies) start yelling at you in Klingon is not something people should have to face in normal life, no matter how cool the guest handing out autographs may be.

Re:NOT REAL ?

[psiphre]

LMMFAO!

mod parent up, funny!

They're made out of meat

[F452]

Where is that from, "Ugly bags of mostly water"? Is that from some Trek show or movie? (I'm guessing yes, given the topic.)

In any case, it made me think of a great Terry Bisson short story:

They're Made Out Of Meat

Excerpt:

"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"

"Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."

"I thought you just told me they used radio."

"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."

Isn't the qutoe from a SF novel?

[tallackn]

I remember reading a SF novel many years ago about a brown dwarf star that was passing through our solar system. On the surface of this small and ultra dense star life had evolved. They were little (compared to us) worm thingies that could travel along the "magnetic" fields that covered the surface.

They evolved very quickly, infact they lived in a "much faster" time than humans, with their life span being just minutes in our time.

Anyhow, eventually they saw a "new star" around their planet (brown dwarf) which as a human ship come to visit it and study it as it passed through our star system.

Now, I could be right off track here, but from memory, it was these little things that called us "big ugly bags mostly water" when they were visiting our ship.

But, my memory is never reliable at the best of times, so I could be compeltly wrong with this. Anyone know?

What was the name of this novel by the way? Does anyone know that?

Re:Say this once...

[Paulrothrock]

not my real life. All of real life. I can't make the idiot drivers go away. I can't make wars stop. I can't make people like each other, but I do my best to like people. I just hate the world they live in.

It may not be marketed...

[Dave21212]

But it's not that it doesn't sell a ton. And would we consider the movies a form of marketing...

I'm no Tolkien expert, but I hear the The Lost Road has a great Elvish Etymology.

Who is the fucktard who...

[thelizman]

...marked this as "redundant", and didn't bother to even do a simple text search for "quote"? I was the first one to mention it.

Slashdot mods are fucking morons. Yes, you...with your finger on the "flamebait" button, I'm talking to you.

Re:Klingon

[bandy]

Better learning materials than Esperanto? Less geeky than Esperanto? Dude, do your research!

Re:NERDS!

[bandy]

made up by television writers

No, made up by a Linguist for The Wrath of Khan.