Slashdot Mirror
Upgrade Your Dog
ptorrone writes "Engadget has glimpse in to the future, a future where your dog has a cell phone, webcam and electronic tag, and maybe even talks to you. Maybe. Some of this dog-tech isn't available yet, and some of it is (in Japan, of course). The overview includes some interesting iterations of pet technology, and they even made their own version of a dog webcam along with the first ever canine photographer's photo gallery." I'd rather see more of these things applied to infants.
...Yellow Dog Linux, maybe?
Of course, every few years, when you upgrade your dog, you can use some parts from your previous dog, and sell the rest on ebay.
"Come on, let's go drink till we can't feel feelings anymore."
I like dogs because they're lovable, cute, loyal, and a pleasure to be around. Not because they're functional. Those Japanese will never learn...
My dog already seems to be fairly well equipped...
Oops, I promised the producer I wouldn't say anything.
The University of Georgia has been putting a camera on their mascot an english bulldog named UGA (pronounced UH-GUH)for years and broadcasting it up on their Jumbotron
I prefer a live, rolling, barking, treat grabbin', sock chewin', hydrant peein', lovable furry hound that is loyal than some robotic dog.
more fun to be with, and who else gives unconditional love?
Can they implant something that house trains my puppy? Two weeks now and he still shits and pisses on my computer...
---
Programming is like sex... Make one mistake and support it the rest of your life.
...in Holy Fire by Bruce Sterling? One of the dogs in that book even had a talk show, it's support electronics were so advanced.
Do not look into laser with remaining eye.
I'd rather see more of these things applied to infants.
Let us know how it works out.
maybe even talks to you.
Thet do that normally after a while. Be patient.
As a parent, I can honestly say that I would NEVER EVER put an electronic leash on my 3month old. Who are these paranoid fuckwad parents who are lining up to chip their pets and unwilling children in the name perceived orwellian safety?
It's they who are to blame for the starting the slide down the slippery slope. "Oh, but this RFID comes with a cute camera and a crude baby-to-human universal translator! ahhh! how cute! and SAFE too!" Die you braindead soccermom fucks. Get some personal responsibility and learn to live with the fact that shit happens despite your best efforts to nerf the world.
I always wanted to attach my GPS to my dog just to see where he goes. Probably around in circles chasing squirells and such, but might be interesting.
Don't Tread on Me
Well, I don't *really* have a dog, but if I had one, it sure as hell wouldn't be for functionality.
-----------
Voice-Collar: The dog has urinated at 9:18:36PM
Voice-Collar: The dog has done business behind the sofa at 9:19:45PM
Voice-Collar: Female dog alert: "Back, bitch!"
the remote dog detonator for that extra special surprise!
Why not a robotic dog with a telephone? Then it saves the owner from carrying their phone around with them.
There's only one thing that dog should be able to do, and as far as I can tell, that's been covered already.
That's right, Rolfie. Come to papa with his brandy.
Small potatoes make the steak look bigger.
This sounds neat and interesting....until you realize (afterwards, of course) that the dog was in the room watching you have sex.....
-- Fugacity: Confusing chemists since 1908
I prefer the art upgrade: the dog paints!
--
make install -not war
I was just reading about how nerds will rule the world because "A nerd, ...is someone who concentrates on substance.".
And then I read this. And I think to myself... is there more than one definition for "nerd"?
I have no problem with your religion until you decide it's reason to deprive others of the truth.
I'd rather see more of these things applied to infants.
I vote for dogs.
"On the website, the scenario presented is a woman calling her dog telling him he should be home soon." Yet another example of bad marketing
Have you metaroderated recently?
...and find lost packets all over the floor!
I'm a proud parent of a newborn young girl. The first thing I did after getting her home from the natural birthing center was to install a subdermal electronic tag so she can't escape. Second, since I'm a good dad, I bought her a cell phone (an N-Gage even!) with a 700 minutes/month plan. Third, I enrolled her in ESL classes, cause she sure damn can't speak English yet. I don't understand a word she says!
Until later,!
Letter
Now all we need is the dog version of muscle gain, just so he/she can carry the 20 lbs of strange electronic devices.
i prefer the art upgrade: the child paints
letter
We've all seen what happened to 'Cat' in Red Dwarf, right?
I already get tons of e-mails telling me they can upgrade my "dog" by adding a few extra inches.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it dissolve.
All those cute, unimaginative ideas on what IT can do to X. Which in a few years after the ideas just never happen everyone comes to their senses and relizes: It was pretty much useless. Now there are a lot cooler things happening in regards to that field that we couldn't have imagened then. The future is what we are doing times 2. Riiiiight, thats why we drive at 200Mph., or fly in out "cars." Or my personal favorite, 3d desktops.
Is there anything better than clicking through Microsoft ads on Slashdot?
I thought the dog was a cell phone? ..."dog & bone" ... = "phone"?
Perhaps I'm just evil, but I'd prefer to see different sorts of things applied to infants, like those shock collars that go off if they go 'out of bounds'. You know, keep them from bothering me while crafting those lines of programming together. =)
But a hat to put on a dog that says things like "I don't really smell bad, you just have high standards that are unattainable for -real- dogs" would be amusing for cat lovers and/or women who hate magazine stereotypes.
"A Goddess rarely smiles for she is forced by others to be an island unto herself." - Zephiris
If you're a good parent, you don't need this stuff.
Someone should send social services over to Timothy's house to see how many lost infants he's got in his garage.
sheesh. It might be neat on dogs, it's just dehumanizing on people.
Competing against dogs for DBA jobs.
---- "If we have to go on with these damned quantum jumps, then I'm sorry that I ever got involved" - Erwin Schrodinger
I'd like to see many of these things applied to adults.
In a world where billions don't have enough to eat, we are now giving our dogs cell phones.
Truly sick.
Intolerance for ambiguity is the mark of the authoritarian personality.
from the cats-are-superior dept.
'Nuff said
*Ducks!
Monstar L
"I'd be delighted to tell you a suggestive story, if you think it would help." -- augmented dog Blood, to Albert, upon not being able to sniff out a partner for Albert
from the cats-are-superior dept.
ahem
Perhaps you meant "from the no-cat-will-ever-drag-your-sorry-ass-out-of-a-burn ing-building dept."
Sure! Let's put choking-size metal things on a baby! I'm sure he won't attempt to munch on your new $300 babycam...
read the bunni comic
Your Soviet Union wants steak.
Your dog wants the $50 mail-in rebate coupon.
Your dog wants first hydrant, err, post.
Your dog wants karma. (Or would it be your 'Slashdog'?)
(Finally, way way over the top)Lassie, petrified, covered in Eukanuba.
Don't you mean a beo-woof cluster?
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
Wow, some mod didn't get the joke.
Only if the dog in question considers 'wolf' to be a downgrade :-)
BTW, congrats on 'catching' that Karma 'Bone'-us point with your post ;-> (Now that pun was truly wretched...)
I, for one, welcome our new canine overlords who will force us to have mandatory walks with them or report us to SPCA.
Or do they do that already?
To iterate is human; to recurse, divine!
Maybe I should lace his dog food with WiFi chips...
Then I can put my useless WiFi finder to work so I stop stepping in his sh*%.
... and with the networking upgrade your dog can butt-sniff the network. You'll need to help with the intrusion detection and prevention, though...
I'd rather see more of these things applied to infants.
So would I, though I still think a dog would be more useful.
By reading this you acknowledge that you have read it.
"Engadget has glimpse in to the future, a future where your dog has a cell phone, webcam and electronic tag, and maybe even talks to you. Maybe."
And with that extra stick of DDR RAM, you can teach an old dog new tricks...
You need a FREE iPod Nano
I already read the engadget article much much earlier. /.'s media relevency?
/. continues upon this line of reposting from blogs, wy not just go to the blogs themselves? Or is /.'s future just to be an outlet/media-spokesite for Roland and engadget et al? Why are so many topics not posted here first? While I enjoy free media, is /.so unknown thhat the personal bloggers get the first scoop? If so.... what can be done to change this? Are the editors being too draconian in rejection or have people just lost faith in story acceptance?
Saddens me to say, but is this the harbinger of the end of
I mean, if
Sorry if you think this post a troll, just a question based upon countless topics posted that have already been posted elsewhere.
Actually, your joke sucked.
Peanut Butter.
I live in Athens GR, and once a *gecko* crapped
on my file server keyboard!!
Took me several hours to calm down, and several
weeks to clean the keyboard (hey: use telnet).
they work for peanuts, you know?
Hi! I make Firefox Plug-ins. Check 'em out @ https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/youtube-mp3-podcaster/
Every single quality I like in a cat, I've yet to see in a dog. Such as being able to think for itself. (Being that I pretty much fit the stereotype of a Brujah myself.)
I don't know, maybe some people like the artifficial affection of a species altered and reprogrammed to _need_ a master. No matter how smart it may be, it's just hard-wired to come obey the MASTER.
(Though I've yet to see any dog displaying anything even vaguely resembling intelligence. I'll have to take it on faith that smart dogs exist, just like flying saucers, yeti and the loch ness monster. Other people swear they saw a smart dog, so they must exist somewhere. Just not near me, 'cause the one I've seen were just a sad case of the owner going "oh look how smart he is!" at just about every dumb reflex, like the dog sniffing his own butt or chewing a stick or being able to find his food bowl.)
Either way, I find it just sad. It's just as artifficial as getting an email inbox full of "I Love You" (the virus) back then. It's just a program running. It doesn't mean the virus actually loved you.
What you have there is a species which was originally hard-coded into hunting in groups, obeying the strongest in the group, and marking and defending its hunting territory. Until someone figured out basically "hey, we can reprogram it into thinking that the human is the pack leader and the garden is his territory to defend." So the poor beast continues doing that, no matter if it makes sense in any given situation.
It dutifully marks its territory on trees, even when it's a tree in the park and 100 other dogs are brought to re-mark it.
It tries to defend that territory, no matter how dumb it may be in any given situation. Like a tiny Pekinese barking its lungs out at a great dane, not because it's brave, but because it's still mechanically applying a hard-coded reflex from back when they were all the same size. Or like a shopkeeper's dog trying to keep the customers out of the shop, until she learned not to bring the dog in the shop any more.
And it dutifully obeys even the worst possible master, because somewhere in its tiny brains a circuit says "must obey the pack leader."
Dunno, I'll take a cat's autonomy over that any day. A cat doesn't have a master. It might see you as a friend if you're nice to it. Or merely a roommate. Or in rare cases an enemy, if you're really bad at that relationship.
And if you fit in the friend category, you can know that it's genuine, not some hardcoded obedience.
A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
This of course will spark a backlash from tech-fearing dogs everywhere. Just how long will it take for one of them to become the Una-barker and start sending exploding poop packages to unsuspecting researchers?
Since when does /. allow kids under 14 to moderate?
I read on and got to the part where they put the camera on the dog's collar. Seeing the world from your dog's point of view is really interesting. It made me appreciate my dog's position in life a little more than I had before.
Sort of like now that I am disabled and have to see the world and deal with it, from a few feet lower than I used to. I'm recovering from back surgery and have to ride around in those little electric carts you see at wally world and the grocery store. The world is a little bigger and I'm a little smaller now. You don't think about these things until you are actually put into that position, then you rethink the whole world. Our little friends see the world from an even lower elevation and to them, we are giants. Maybe people should see the world from a different point of view sometime and they would be less likely to take certain things for granted.
cats aren't better, just superior. There is a difference, and the cat knows it.
Hi! I make Firefox Plug-ins. Check 'em out @ https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/youtube-mp3-podcaster/
This is the most insightful thing I've read today, and I wish I could mod it up.
I find it sad that people basically want to shut their kids off and never have to talk to them. The kid is something that should be put on a leash, or at least stay the fsck out of the way, while the parent is busy watching football or the 15'th soap opera for today.
And when the kid learns something awfully wrong, and the parent never was there for them to teach them otherwise, the parent promptly goes looking for a scapegoat. Nosiree, bob. It wasn't me who's to blame, guv'nor. I never taught him to do drugs and beat other kids up. (Never taught him that it's wrong to do that either, though.) It was those evil game companies and TV companies. Let's sue those.
Dunno, makes me think of Peter's Principle. Just because they have genitals, people are elligible to be "promoted" to parent. Too bad that half of them are utterly incompetent for that job.
A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
your dog wants a tinfoil hat
...is the suspicion that any number of gifted dogs could do a better job as director than half the moviemakers in Hollywood today.
after RTFA I decided, that this guy simply wanted us to know he has a 17" Powerbook and a 20" Apple Cinema Display... oh and don't forget the Aibo...
Crivens! I kicked meself in me own heid!
Y'know some places dogs are food. Just like cattle. Why go through the expense? and like others said, why not your kid? But wait, isn't that an invasion of privacy waiting to happen? It's a long slippery slope after all.
Okay, I like dogs and I wouldn't ever eat one, but it strikes me as odd how much expense people go through for their pets, when somewhere else in the world many people could only wish to be treated like that dog, and as far as Fido goes, F is for food, not for friend.
Though I get really sick of all the annoying gaudy pretensious, self indulged human creatures around here, and to some extent I can see wishing the world to hell cause Fido is the only one on earth whose worth a damn and won't turn around and stab you in the back and also seem greatful and happy to see you. Of course I've also seen pictures of what happens when master dies and Fido goes hungry. So much for a loyal caring friend...
Hmm, watch television to remind me that I'm beautiful, intelligent, people like me, and I am happy... just don't forget to take your meds and understand we all must sacrifice a little for the greater good of our corporate masters.
I can see the doggie cam being popular with the alt.erotica.female.upskirt and alt.erotica.dog.butt crowd.
will it have a frikkin' laser?
Woof, woof woof. Woof woof, woof woof woof. Grrrr woof, woof woof. Grrr. Rover
A'la Woody Allen ..
MED SHOT on COMPUTER GEEK and his DOG answering the door to his apartment. The dog is wearing a RED ELECTRONIC GIZMO on his collar.
Geek opens door.
CAMERA REVEALS NANCY an attractive girl in a skirt.
GEEK: Uh.. hi Nancy, come on in.
Nancy smiles, and start to enter. SUDDENLY the DOG grabs NANCY'S LEG and starts HUMPING MADLY.
DOG TRANSLATOR: I LOVE YOU
DOG TRANSLATOR: I AM HAPPY
DOG TRANSLATOR: DO YOU SEE MY BONE?
DOG TRANSLATOR: YOU ARE MY BITCH
DOG TRANSLATOR: I SMELL TREATS
DOG TRANSLATOR: MARRY ME
-- www.globaltics.net
Political discussion for a new world
apet-get upgrade
DON'T PANIC
"Posted by timothy on Wednesday September 29, @12:10AM
from the cats-are-superior dept."
Timothy, you really are a blazing faggot.
Nobuhira Narumi did a dog cam exhibition in London in 1999, which I saw. This artist is represented by the Taro Nasu Gallery in Tokyo, and currently works in NY,NY.
I don't think anyone has the money to keep an infant outfitted such as this. I have a 15 month old baby girl, and let me tell you, she can break a steel marble if she doesn't eat it first. All you have to do is put said steel marble within 15 feet of her and turn your back for an instant. I'd be replacing the webcam and GPS once a day, and picking the damned thing out of her diaper twice a day!
Be Safe! Sleep with a Marine. Semper Fi!
it better not be that bloody dog that appears on the XP search. whats next? real life clippys?
Not a single mention of the dog's privacy rights.
:)
For shame
Just what we need dogs on cell phones that can't walk or run. Little/Big dog crashes and doggy benders everywhere.
:: Cyco(k) out
Will your dog still be your best friend if you can risk the dog act like a 5 year old younger brother who hear something you like to keep private and that is in all innocence being forwarded where it shouldn't.
In some cases it would of course do good if a dog can tell its story (TURNER AND DOG) but in general it will ruin the relationship of trust you as a human have guaranteed by the limited communication abilities of your dog.
If you take away the innocence of the dog, you may find yourself to be severely punished when your dog says "but master, why couldn't you leave me alone, grrr... you killed kenny!!!" "ohh master fuck, you aint my master, now who's your daddy" grrr
"Planet of the Dogs"
Poor humans, they are so intelligent.
Reveals this:
Mystery solved
"No prints can come from fingers / If machines become our hands." -- Jack Johnson
tell the difference between a pop can and a beer can, I don't care what else it can do.
If you could get a firmware upgrade for an Alsatian, and it was open source, would it come under a GSD licence?
Je fume. Tu fumes. Nous fûmes!
It's a friggin Cocker Spaniel. Not exactly the apex of dog intelligence, barely above the greyhound and afghan. And what the heck is with a guy owning one in the first place. Get a real dog. 8-)
Imagine the computer-generated phone calls you'll be getting at work:
"Happy!
Happy!
Love you!
Go play!
Go play!
Happy!
Love you!
Go play!
Hungry!
Hungry!
Sad!
Love you!"
I kind of like it that my pet doesn't speak my language!
Big Daddy, Johnny, Burp, Aunt Zelda, Scott, Slurp, Big Momma
I just found this fun quiz where you guess where 9 objects are either dog toys or sex toys. None have quessed all 9 yet. How many will you get?
Dog Toy or Sex toy Quiz
Um, I took the comment "I'd rather see more of these things applied to infants" as a joke that the person would like to have an infantCam view of the world...especially during feeding times..wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more.
Look for the humor in everything first. You'll live longer.
Public use of any portable music system is a virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies. -- Zoso
When Dog came back two hours later, the pager was not to be found. Expensive lesson for all involved.
Dewey, what part of this looks like authorities should be involved?
Very well said, Steve. A couple of other tips:
1) Get a crate and use it! By using a crate you shrink the size of the "den" immensely.
2) It'll be rough on you, but your young puppy should not be played with unless he's first gone to the bathroom outside. Take your puppy from the crate directly outside to do his business. If he does, treat, praise, and play. If he doesn't, back into the create for another 10-15 minutes then try again.
As others have mentioned, an enzymatic cleaner is a must. You will have accidents, and cleaning them up thorougly will prevent another accident in the same spot.
It's also helpful to train them to go on command. You'll look like an idiot doing this, but when you've got your puppy outside and they're getting ready to go say "Potty!" (or whatever word you want) and praise profusely. Before you know it you'll say "Potty" and they'll unleash whatever's inside.
Neil
I'm going to reserve slashdog.org now. Watch out pets.com ..... oh, wait.
Can they pickup their crap? Or use a doggie toilet and flush? That would be a real breakthrough.
I want to put a harness on my dog, and attach my GPS to her back. We go to an off-leash park every day, and I end up walking about 2.5 miles in a semi-regular path (loop around the park several times, etc).
I'd love to know what kind of distance she puts on, because she's all over the place, running back and forth, chasing balls, hunting mice, etc.
However, I have to wait until it's too cold for her to want to hop in the pond and destroy my GSP receiver (:
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is kinky.
It's naturall that this was applied to dogs first. Dog's are man's best friend, infants just happen after nine months and then you're stuck with em.
I am invisble, and you can't see me.
1908 German Pigeon Fleet... As a remote sensing experiment - I believe they got 1 picture of a castle and a lot they couldn't use...
"Win treats sysadmins better than users. Mac treats users better than sysadmins. Linux treats everyone like sysadmins."
Cool Pictures, well, for a dog.
But how do you get the dog to wear a Sony HD video camera comfortably?
I like Phillip Torrone's stuff as much as the next guy, but I wish he'd stop pimping his fucking website out to up his hit count. I can't help but notice that every story he's submitted begins with "Over at Engadget..."
Dude, if you wanna write about kite photography or search engines, more power to ya, but leave it at that. For the love of God, stop shilling around here, pretending like you have nothing to do with the stories you "find" on Engadget. At least be upfront about it "Hey, I wrote this thing over at this weblog you guys all know about anyway, but my Google Textad revenue is a bit low this week, so help me out, would ya?"
My other computer is your Windows box
And now I have a cat!
I have upgraded my dog... And now I have a cat!
I have upgraded my dog and now I have a bitch!
Even after upgrading my cat, I still don't get any pussy... :(
Giving up Slashdot might be a good start. Which is strange since there are so many pussies here...
$19.99 / month subscriptions, and we're raking in the dough, mr smartass!
It's called a troll , dumbass. Make an extremely repugnant statment for your audience in order to (hopefully) cause them to examine little more closely at their ill-concieved positions.
Hmmm.... I am surprised I haven't seen any new BioChem-Pharma-Neutr-Nerv-Ceuticles file a patent on the active ingredient in dog hormones.
A strands of DNA fro Trigger could trigger an avalanche of shitting in humans. This could be better a shitload, umm a shitload better than PhenPhen, unless there is a Fi-Fi or a Poo-Poo or a Puddles to squeeze this matter from.
Imagine lost worker productivity reports including:
"Last year in the USA
-- 7.5 million hours were lost as clerical employees dashed from their desks or tight-buttedly waddled down hallways to do the number 2 after a fierce session of 88-wpm of typing
-- 9.8 million hours were lost due to fire fighters separating excess baggage on the scene, necessitating backup fire fighters taking up the rear
--117.2 million hours were lost as transit operators (coach/bus drivers) generated bathroom trip resulting from too many turns around corners (despite power-assisted steering)
-- Football as a sport is in futher decline every time players drink a power liquid, forcing them into power flush
-- 99.825 million hours were lost as pharmacists needlessly and frantically scurried or waddled about searching their shelves for Milk of AMNEsia for patients whose pressing needs were not being met by Milk of MAGnesia, and who were demanding "Please help me forget this shit"
Previously: "Linux... Toward the Sunrise..." Now: "Linux... Toward the-- No, now, part of Every Sunrise"
Of course, such a good idea... get them used to constant survelance at an early age, then when I'm world dictator my life will be so much easier...
Resistance is futile. You will be arf-similated.
a species which was originally hard-coded into hunting in groups, obeying the strongest in the group, and marking and defending its hunting territory
A cat doesn't have a master. It might see you as a friend if you're nice to it. Or merely a roommate
I had to laugh when I ran into these two sentences that live in separate, but convenient for you, logical universes.
The house cat was derived from a solitary predator; it's aloof because, as you've pointed out, it has no inbred allegience to anything. It appears to be your 'friend' because you feed it, or drug it, or stroke its fur exactly the right way. It can be simplified as automata just as easily as a dog. And if you've never seen an intelligent dog, you've never seen one in agility training, or seeing eye dogs, or dogs that occasionally save a drowning child from a pool or its master from a burning house. If you're talking algebra, well, I think we've just entered the lofty heights of Homo sapien.
After all, who are you to say that human - and certainly cat - love is so different? Could you not distill human love down to the selection of the most genetically attractive partner? Or the biologically programmed imperative to care for a child? Or for the child to feel love for the 'master' that has fed and housed him/her, despite abuses and neglect? Dogs aren't the only ones that feel unconditional affection. I hope your opinions about animal emotion are only biased against Canis familiaris; if you can really see nothing about love and friendship that transcends basic biology, I pity you.
keep track on your bitch
Anyway dogs are considered food in some places. Now they can get a meal and a cell phone.