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New "Hairy Lobster" Crustacean Discovered and Classified

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the cuddly-fuzzy-dinner dept.

AviLazar writes "American-led divers discovered a new type of Crustacean, that resembles a lobster but has it's claws covered in 'sinuous, hair-like strands'. This species is so different, from other Crustacean's that it was classified with a new Family name: Kiwaida. Unfortunately for the Kiwaida, the AP is already using this blind creature and a salad plate in the same sentence."

58 of 261 comments (clear)

  1. just what i need by gEvil+(beta) · · Score: 3, Funny

    Great, now I get to pick hairs out of my teeth when I eat this, too?

    --
    This guy's the limit!
    1. Re:just what i need by Phaed · · Score: 4, Funny

      Oh quit being shellfish - some people like the experience.

      But seriously... what else are you eating that causes hairs to get stuck in your teeth?

    2. Re:just what i need by ForwardThinker · · Score: 5, Funny

      I heard they also found a new type of hairy lobster off the brazilian coast ... but it only had a thin strip of hair down the middle!

      --
      Internet Marketing Consultants
    3. Re:just what i need by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      Researchers have also noted that it smells like fish, tastes like chicken, and is related to the bearded clam.

    4. Re:just what i need by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      >But seriously... what else are you eating that causes hairs to get stuck in your teeth?

      McDonalds cheeseburgers

    5. Re:just what i need by mapmaker · · Score: 4, Funny

      You're thinking of the bearded clam.

    6. Re:just what i need by cayenne8 · · Score: 2, Funny
      "You're thinking of the bearded clam."

      If God hadn't meant you to eat it..he wouldn't have made it look so much like a TACO!!

      --
      Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
    7. Re:just what i need by ToasterofDOOM · · Score: 3, Funny

      Bearded Clams!

      --
      I am Spartacus
  2. The important question is by semiotec · · Score: 5, Funny

    what do they taste like?

    1. Re:The important question is by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      From the article: "The animal is white and 15 centimeters (5.9 inches) long -- about the size of a salad plate."

      I imagine they taste pretty darn good since they've obviously been intelligently designed as a salad course.

    2. Re:The important question is by Walkiry · · Score: 2, Funny

      Hehe, Ned Land would be proud ;-)

      --
      ---- Take the Space Quiz!
    3. Re:The important question is by sentientbeing · · Score: 5, Funny

      It tastes great and after youve eaten it you can wipe your chin with its carcass!

      Its lunch and a napkin.

      --

      ------
      beware he who would deny you access to information, for in his mind he dreams himself your master
    4. Re:The important question is by lcsjk · · Score: 5, Funny

      Is that an African Salad plate or a European Salad plate?

  3. Hairy Lobster? by vwjeff · · Score: 4, Funny

    I've heard of a hairy clam but never a hairy lobster.

    1. Re:Hairy Lobster? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Don't you mean a bearded clam?

    2. Re:Hairy Lobster? by winkydink · · Score: 4, Funny

      Finally, an honest slahsdotter who admits to hearing about a hairy (bearded) clam, but not seeing one. :)

      --

      "I'd rather be a lightning rod than a seismometer." -Ken Kesey

    3. Re:Hairy Lobster? by Eccles · · Score: 4, Funny

      Oh, we've seen plenty. Touched, on the other hand...

      --
      Ooh, a sarcasm detector. Oh, that's a real useful invention.
  4. "Furry" lobster? by ninja_pirate · · Score: 3, Funny

    So now furries will be dressing up as this? *shudders*

    1. Re:"Furry" lobster? by bersl2 · · Score: 3, Funny

      The fact that I instantly thought of a picture near your description means that I have seen entirely too much furry pr0n.

      (NOT SAFE FOR WORK! DON'T BLAME ME IF YOU WANT TO GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT AFTERWARDS!)

      I know I've seen other experimental works (i.e., having non-mammalian, non-avian, non-reptilian subjects), and let me tell you, the ones with insects are worse. :)

  5. The real question is... by robyannetta · · Score: 2, Funny

    With or without butter?

    --
    - Just my $0.02, take with a grain of salt, your mileage may vary.
  6. Why hairy? by Angostura · · Score: 5, Funny

    This raises obvious questions about the value of the 'hairs'.

    Given that it is blind, I suppose they may be tactile, like a cat's whiskers.

    Or perhaps detritous gets stuck in the hairs and it is a rudimentary filter feeder.

    Or perhaps most lobsters shave regularly, but since this one's blind... nah.

    1. Re:Why hairy? by minvaren · · Score: 3, Funny

      The hairs should help prevent it from sticking to magnets.

      --
      Big! Strong! Wow! Tada-O!
  7. Looks great... by tengennewseditor · · Score: 5, Funny

    I want one of those to hang on my rear view mirror.

  8. Jack Handey by RobotWisdom · · Score: 4, Funny

    "People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blonde hair."

  9. Re:Ick, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Sinuous hair-like strands? Those don't sound tasty at all. But I'm willing to eat it anyway.

    You must be asian?

  10. Standard Units of Measure by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Since when was a salad plate a unit of measure?

    1. Re:Standard Units of Measure by qwijibo · · Score: 5, Funny

      It's a reference point that suggests that this scientific discovery is more of an appetizer than a full meal. Even scientists are humans first. That means when we discover something new, we have to give it a location on the food chain.

    2. Re:Standard Units of Measure by jeblucas · · Score: 4, Funny
      Oh, my... you are correct sir. Let's send a letter to the editor.

      In Re: Salad Plate dimension.

      I read your recent hirsute lobster tale (pun very much intended) recently and was flummoxed by your use of "salad plate" as a measure of what I'm guessing is area. Could you please restate the size in dimensions your readership could understand? Perhaps football fields, breadboxes, or tons of TNT?

      Thank you humbly,
      A.Coward, Esq.

      --
      blarg.
    3. Re:Standard Units of Measure by rspress · · Score: 4, Funny

      Here is its location in the food chain, between soup and dessert.

      Become a member of PETA, People Eating Tasty Animals.

    4. Re:Standard Units of Measure by IronChef · · Score: 2, Funny

      You just have to specify if it is an Imperial or SI salad plate.

  11. Classify it? by pulse2600 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Don't just classify it, provide a recipe too!

  12. New Taxonomy by cparisi · · Score: 5, Funny

    Here is the new Taxonomy order:

    Domain
    Kingdom
    Phylum
    Class
    Order
    Family
    Genus
    Species
    Yummy-ness!

    1. Re:New Taxonomy by demonbug · · Score: 3, Funny

      I think you have it a bit out of order. At least for me, yummy-ness clearly comes before Order.

    2. Re:New Taxonomy by HolyCrapSCOsux · · Score: 4, Funny

      But you have to Order it first. How else will it get to the table to check it's yummy-ness?

      --
      0xB315AA8D852DCD3F3DCA578FD2E0BF88
  13. what do they taste like? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Paris Hilton.

  14. Waiter, there's a hair in my Lobster... by digitaldc · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...and I wish to complain to the chef about this disgusting meal!

    Waiter: I'm afraid you'll have to wait, sir. He's just gone out for his dinner.

    --
    He who knows best knows how little he knows. - Thomas Jefferson
  15. I know what Dr Zoidberg has been up to by MooseTick · · Score: 5, Funny

    My mother was right! It will make hair grow on your hands.

    --
    Ninjas don't carry tic tacs
  16. Re:American-led divers ... by nblender · · Score: 4, Funny

    It _was_ a French scientist who discovered it but then he immediately surrendered to it and it took the arrival of an American scientist to capture it and haul it back for interrogation whereupon it was immediately killed. Rumsfeld disavows all knowledge of this but promises to launch a full investigation.

  17. After a lifetime of hoping... by Rob+T+Firefly · · Score: 4, Funny

    Finally! A crustacean I can hug!!!

    --
    Slashdot Burying Stories About Slashdot Media Owned
  18. Thank God by kukickface · · Score: 4, Funny

    At first I misread the title as: "New 'Hairy Lobster' Crustacean Discovered in Classifieds"

    I now feel safe enough to creepily browse myspace again...

  19. It's quite obvious what happened... by gfxguy · · Score: 4, Funny

    An albino tarantula raped a lobster as it was scavenging near shore.

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    Stupid sexy Flanders.
  20. overload! by Syberghost · · Score: 1, Funny

    Too... many... jokes... can't... pick... one...

    (head asplodes)

  21. Obviously by RealProgrammer · · Score: 5, Funny

    you must have remarkably poor technique.

    The edible parts are hairless.

    --
    sigs, as if you care.
    1. Re:Obviously by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      You must not be asian.

  22. Wait a minute by tunedfeeders · · Score: 5, Funny

    I thought "Hairy Lobster" was the upcoming Ubuntu release...

  23. Blonde Hair by MECC · · Score: 5, Funny

    So blondes aren't going extinct after all - they're just just mutating into a more intelligent form.

    --
    "We are all geniuses when we dream"
    - E.M. Cioran
  24. Misleading subject by drunkgoat · · Score: 2, Funny

    "New 'Hairy Lobster' Crustacean Discovered and Classified" Was it just me, or did anyone else read that and think of some government agency trying to classify and cover up a secret new form of life?

  25. Tagging by Jonboy+X · · Score: 2, Funny

    Finally! A story that I can use the "crustacean" tag on!

    --

    "In a 32-bit world, you're a 2-bit user. You've got your own newsgroup, alt.total.loser." -Weird Al
  26. Ubuntu 6.04 "Hairy Lobster"? by GNU(slash)Nickname · · Score: 2, Funny

    Am I the only one who read that headline and thought it was about the next Ubuntu release?

  27. gEvil's just being crabby by jd · · Score: 1, Funny

    (Well, I thought I'd "muscle" in on the jokes)

    --
    It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
  28. Re:Ick, but... by cayenne8 · · Score: 2, Funny
    "Sinuous hair-like strands? Those don't sound tasty at all."

    Those are for flossing after the meal...

    :-)

    --
    Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
  29. The Ubuntu team thanks the hairy lobster... by TheScreenIsnt · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...for providing a great name for the next release. We were going to go with *zit-faced swamp-donkey*.

  30. Harry Lobster by Edward+Teach · · Score: 4, Funny

    And the Goblet of Butter

    --

    Setting his threshold to 5, Sparky eliminated most of the trolls on /.

  31. Wait a second.. by murderlegendre · · Score: 3, Funny

    Can lobsters get crabs?

    --
    There's a Starman, waiting in the sky / He'd like to come and meet us, but he hasn't got the time.
  32. New, Delicious Species Discovered by Michael+Woodhams · · Score: 4, Funny

    Life imitates The Onion: New, Delicious Species Discovered

    --
    Quattuor res in hoc mundo sanctae sunt: libri, liberi, libertas et liberalitas.
  33. Taggin beta by killermookie · · Score: 2, Funny

    Anyone else notice the tagging beta line as:

    lobster, crustacean, salad, food (tagging beta)

    Do you really think this lobster really wanted to be discovered?

  34. First action by Geminii · · Score: 2, Funny

    The first action the hairy-palmed lobster took on being captured was to ask for broadband, the best lure for its natural prey - internet prawn.

  35. oblig quote by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    "Hooray! Now Zoidberg is the popular one!"