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Gadgets for the Lazy
theodp writes "The Pentagon has found the perfect way to demonstrate it's purely the thought that counts - 700 bugle emulators which sit in real bugles and play 'Taps' at military funerals. The Ceremonial Bugle is just one item in Wired's collection of Gadgets for the Lazy."
are diapers with an IP address, so I can log in to them. Not for my kid, for me.
No need to read the article! The entire article is in the summary!
The editor's are getting the idea now!
Didn't read TFA, so I don't know if it mentions this, but the Taps-playing device is not for the lazy, but rather because there is a shortage of actual trumpet players for military funerals. A lot of burials are having to resort to using CD players; at least with these gadgets some of the ceremony is retained.
Chopsticks is hard you insensitive clod!
As an unemployed bugle player, I find this disappointing. :)
Seriously though, trumpet is one of the most common instruments taught in High School, and bugles are super easy to play (for a brass player). I'm positive they could find people to do this, they just don't care enough to even look.
I'd rather have a bad bugle player at a funeral of a friend, then some stupid souless gadget..
Not nearly as tacky as someone who can't play the bugle.
Don't blame me, I didn't vote for either of them!
...I wonder if they'll get an orchestra to play the theme to the Empirial March or just pop the sound track in the nearest car stereo?
:-\
Tom Caudron
http://tom.digitalelite.com/politics.html
P.S. Attended a military funeral a couple of years ago. They played taps on a tape player. This device is a step UP not down from that experience.
-Tom
"The Pentagon has found the perfect way to demonstrate it's purely the thought that counts - 700 bugle emulators which sit in real bugles and play 'Taps' at military funerals. The Ceremonial Bugle is just one item in Wired's collection of Gadgets for the Lazy."
How about a Gadget that you can insert into singers that plays the national anthem correctly at sports events?
TFA:
It's not clear how else you would dry your shoes, but this smacks of laziness.Personally I think not riding your bike to work because you might get your shoes wet in the rain smacks of laziness but maybe thats just me.
http://michaelsmith.id.au
As a trumpet player, who has played taps many times, I can tell you taps is *not* the easiest thing to play. While you may be able to get a freshman to hack it out, it requires quite a bit of work to actually sound good. You're also playing very exposed- if you make a mistake, you can't cover it up. And lastly, you're usually playing cold- you haven't played a note for the past half-hour or more. My trumpet teacher thinks taps is the *hardest* thing to play on trumpet, not the easiest.
From the article: "Due to a shortage of actual bugle players, the Pentagon had already ordered 700 of these to be used at military funerals in 2003." To be used in 2003? Are we a bit late on this story?
Right! They could wake the dead! Waaaait a minute...
I was thinking to myself "how lazy can people be?" when I realized that I was actively using one of the devices in the article:
http://www.theemptyroom.com/ST_14.jpg
: /
I hate to prove their point, but i find it annoying to have to scroll down under the text to read about the device. I wish there was a gadget to do it for me.
Even my father had a trumpet (and I think a bugle too) he could play, and he was a pianist (no offense to buglers out there). But honestly, traditions (like playing instruments) are being lost and more and more music lovers would rather download MP3s, remix or synthesize everything. I have a music major friend who can hardly play a thing to save his life and have been working towards his love of music for years... http://www.funnytimes.com/archives/files/20060301. htm
Ginga no Rekshiya Mata Each page.
I played trumpet. The bugle is pretty much the same thing, minus the valves. You are thus restricted to a limited set of notes, and must choose your notes by mouth alone.
The restriction isn't anything like "one octave". It's more like "two notes per octave". To get enough notes to make a decent tune out of that, you'll need some extreme range. Building that range can take a long time. Mouth strength doesn't arrive in a matter of days.
There would also be something wrong if the bugle player hadn't gone through basic training. He wouldn't be a real soldier without that gas chamber.
Yes, but how many of them are interested in joining the military?
I'm a trumpet player who is graduating a week from today. So I can tell you, if they can't find a real trumpet player, they can't be trying too hard. The studio at my college is about 40 strong, and even most community colleges have studios. I don't think this is a matter of laziness. I'm thinking they just don't want to pay a real musician for the service.
How many of those trumpet players are willing to enlist in the military? Drive a couple hours to random cemetaries in the area to play for 5 minutes every weekend? It's not exactly like it's a job that's very appealing.
Yep.
Also, if "cold" is more than figurative, your lips can freeze to the metal. Well, it would have been out of tune anyway...
Since when does an AIBO dog count as a gadget for the lazy?
Gadget for the stinking rich more like.
Because of the shortage of available buglers, a group was formed to help aid the military in properly honoring our veterans. If you need their services, or wish to volunteer, go to the website.
You guys make wreaths out of reefer there?
I played trombone in high school, and "Taps" is easily played without any valving (or slide, in the case of the trombone) changes. If the mouthpieces are the same, a bugle is just a simple trumpet.
I read somewhere that prior to the invention of the trumpet valves, similar versatility would be achieved by owning multiple bugles or having multiple bugle players, each with a different bugle. Different length of tubing = different notes you can play.
It's my guess that there isn't a shortage of competent players in the country (any high school with a band program should have several) but a shortage of MILITARY bugle players. You don't send the 16-year-old kid with long hair to play taps at the funeral; you want the adult, with short hair and military uniform. This device lets any military-type person play taps.
The preferred solution is to not have a problem.
Damned bugle emulator was playing a pirated mp3 of "Taps".
I scream. You scream. I assume that means we're both acquainted with the problem. We proceed.
Actually, a bugle is the equivalent of a trumpet with all the buttons locked in the 'up' position. A bugle is therefore limited to a subset of the notes that a trumpet can play, and all bugle songs are made up of that subset. A trumpet player can play a song on the bugle -- especially a simple one like 'taps' -- without any training beyond maybe a five-minute practice session.
You know what? I grew up in a music store, and played at most all instruments. Fifty grand won't help --- even fifty grand a year won't help. There are only so many people with the "lip".
We're burying a couple thousand WWII vets a month now....
I grant that some of the gadgets are for the lazy, but what about the following:
Motor lounger - isn't relaxing the point of going to the pool?
Shoe mops - put on feet, walk, mop or pick up mop, walk, mop. Doesn't seem that lazy to me
Shoe dryer - how else am I supposed to dry my shoes? Blow on them, place them in the dryer/sun, light a fire?
Juiceator - how is using this any less lazy than drinking from the carton?
Electric fly swatterer - You still gotta hit flies with it, this any no Venus Fly Trap.
A bugle is exactly the same as a trumpet, it just has less notes it can play. When a trumpeter needs to play much higher or much lower notes, they make a subtle adjustment with their mouth to shift the register they're playing in. The notes accessible to a bugle are all fundamentals or harmonics of the size of the bugle; which is why all bugle songs have the same notes in them. Any brass instrument player could easily play a bugle, ignoring the smaller mouthpiece.
I have to chime in as this is something near to my heart. In fact, a Navy buddy of mine taught himself to play the Bugle a few years back for exactly this reason. Anyway, I begin my list.
1. To the smart ass that stated that they "can't be looking too hard if they can't find a trumpet player"...it's a bugle, not a trumpet. While I play neither, it is my understanding that a trumpeter cannot simply pick up a bugle and play it (especially well enough to do funeral detail).
2. Funeral details are NOT fun. After a while, it gets a little depressing. It is constant (not on weekends for 5 minutes as someone said). You stand endlessly in either blazing sun or freezing cold. You're in full dress (the most uncomfortable uniform ever designed). If you've never been to a national cemetary, then visit. There are funerals going on all day, every day, never ending. Families are limited to about 15 minutes at the graveside to make room/time for those processions scheduled behind them. Blah blah blah.
3. There is a shortage because the bugle is not a common instrument in band these days. Few people who join the military do so to play an instrument, and fewer still that do want to play funerals. Most do a rotation on funeral honors, but more often than not, the task falls to Reservists and retirees.
It's sad, but at least having someone stand there and hold a bugle while appearing to play it is better (to the grieving families) than having someone hit play on a boom box. Unless there are plans to have compulsory bugle duty and compulsory funeral detail, I think this is about the best solution that can be reached.
the trumpet and the bugle are very closely related. a trumpeter has the skills required to play bugle, however they're not necesarrily well-honed. A buglist changes pitch by changing the shape of his lips etc, a trumpter does this to some extent already. I'd say it's more like a bass guitar player to an upright bass player, some of the skills are there, but there's more to learn.
How about a trumpet player who is willing to be sent to Iraq?
http://michaelsmith.id.au
Taps is played without valves on a trumpet. Any trumpet player can play Taps on a bugle. That's why everyone is talking about trumpet players. Because they know more than you, not less.
Screw all of you. WW2 vets have been dieing at a rate of 1000 a day up until 2004. It dropped because there were just not as many left to die. No problem though because the 2400 killed in Iraq and 200+ in Afghanistan have picked up some of the slack and the Vietnam vets are just starting to die at significant rates. We take great pains to ensure the family never sees the "device" and Taps is "played" perfectly every time - no missed notes, no errors. This is not like playing at your local talent show. These are very emotional events even for those of us on funeral detail who likely know nothing of the person being buried. It is a solemn tradition we are all proud to participate in. Every time I do one I remind myself that some day someone will do the same for me. Amazon, Google and every other company in the world wont give a dam about you the day after you quit or retire. We take care of our own no mater how long they served. After burying one of my good friends killed in Iraq this year I will never hear Taps without tearing up.
"for fucks sake. taps on the bugle is the easiest thing to play. its like chopsticks on the piano. all is lost."
All is lost? I could see that reaction if you were talking about the ice cream cone twirler...
"I like to lick butts!" by MobileTatsu-NJG (#32700246) (Score:5, Informative)
Sure. Since these Bugle emulators should last at least five years, so by your reasoning, hiring 5 people to play would cost $375,000. So they'd end up spending more for real people to do the job, but it's only the tax payers money, and it's virtually unlimited so who cares, right?
As other people have said before, a bugle is exactly the same as a trumpet that you can't push the valves down on. A trumpet player's bugle skills are just as fine-honed as their trumpet skills are. Every trumpet player uses his lips to change notes too- otherwise you could only play 7 notes on the trumpet. I've played taps many times, and never used a bugle- I always use my standard Bb trumpet to play taps- and it doesn't sound any different.
Now I may be a lowly woodwind player (I play mostly out of the clarinet family) but you're not quite right. Most of today's brass instruments have some kind of variable length tubing; most obvious is the trombone, where a slide changes the length of the instrument, but the valves in trumpets, tubas and euphoniums open up extra sections of tubing, effectively lengthening the instrument. This is one way for brass players to change pitch. However, there are only three or four valves on most instruments, which would give at most eight distinct pitches.
But for each valve combination a brass player can actually produce many different notes; the player can play any pitch whose wavelength is a multiple of the instrument's length. The result is that for each fingering the player can produce a harmonic series: a fundamental note (usually very low), one octave above it, up a fifth, up a fourth, up a major third, up a minor third, and so on (these are approximate; or, one might more accurately say, modern even-tempered tuning systems produce approximations of the perfect harmonic intervals).
If you listen to bugle music you'll notice that only the notes of one harmonic series are used; in "Taps", for example, overtones 2, 3, 4 and 5 are used. If a trumpet player played "Taps" his or her fingers would not move; the trumpet player could, with some practice to adjust to the instrument, play exactly the same way on the bugle.
A friend recently refinished his wooden floors. When it came time to put the final polish and wax on, he bought several dozen terrycloth socks in various sizes and invited every one over for a skateing party. If you have spills to clean up, get a dog or a cat.
Chaos maximizes locally around me.
There are thousands of WWII and Korea vets dying every year. Five people wouldn't be nearly enough to cover all the funerals. Not to mention that with a small number of bugel players you'd have to fly them all over the country so you'd have to factor in travel costs as well. It does kind of suck that they have to fake it but its better than a cd player.
That's great, but it ruins the whole funeral when the guy pushes the "Revellie" (morning wake-up) button by mistake.
Have you ever wondered How to Take Over
I know how you feel about the emotion. I never had to bury someone I knew, but after doing over 100 funerals, I too cannot hear taps without tearing up.
This information (about mechanical bugles) has been out there for a while, so this is NOT current news.
My father is a WWII vet, and for his birthday two years ago, I (an old brass player) bought a repro 1860 bugle and pledged to play Taps at his funeral. This promise was made specifically in view of the lack of military buglists.
He loved it. And, if I can keep from crying on that inevitable day, and can firm up the embouchour, I'll be proud to lay him to rest.
Its Australia man. Of course they make wreaths out of reefer.
/. bug #926803 - Why I can post.
Four or five people wouldn't be enough to cover a few states, much less the whole country. What most people don't realize is that the military is required to perform every funeral they are asked to do, for all active duty and veterans. I only served four years, but I am eligible for honors. I think you have to be dishonorable discharged to lose that right. When I was on the honor guard at Scott AFB, we did over 2000 funerals in 2000. And it just keeps increasing as more funeral homes find out it's required.
As I (and others) have said before here, this is a hell of a lot better than the CD player we used to use.
I think one guy had it right in here -- bugles/trumpets go cold when not played (all instruments do). The temperature difference can kill the quality of sound the player produces, and by the time his instrument warms up properly, he's already done playing. Also note that if it is too hot outside, the instrument can also go out of tune. Moreover, if the mouthpiece is cold and the chops (lips and mouth) aren't prepared, the bugler can literally tear his lips. It's painful, and if he's playing all day, the sound will degrade tremendously no matter what temperature the instrument is. Last point I want to make is that trumpets and bugles, though very similar in what they are, are not the same. Just because bugles lack valves does not make trumpets a multi-note playing equivalent. I played a King valve trombone, and it felt nothing like my Holton Revelation slide trombone. Although it's technically the same instrument, the two are different musically. That's what seperates a bugle from a trumpet (or cornet, even!). True musicians know what I mean.
Sorry, I'm suddenly pissed off.
Gah - well, I might as well mention to an above poster that said they play roughly two notes per octave, that's only true in the lowest octave. If I know what I'm talking about, a bugle is roughly equivalent to a trumpet with the first and third valves held down. Regardless of what valves are down for any combination the lowest octave can play two notes with that key combination (8 total), the next octave plays roughly 4 (I'm thinking of the open combo - you *can* play a high Bb open, it just isn't so pretty) and the higher you go the more notes you can play with a given key combo. It's actually pretty complex because some combos mean you can't accurately hit the note without "lipping" it up or down some. Again, a competent player can do so with little effort.
Yeah, I'm a trumpet player. There's no practice involved - just hold down valves 1 and 3 and you're playing a bugle.
Thank you for your service. I can not believe the ignorance of the previous posts that think this is a job for Joe Trumpeter (I say this as never serving). I burried my grandfather (WWII Navy vet) and Taps was played from a CD player. The young sailor presented the flag to my grandmother with a tear in his eye. This is not the place for an outsider. Thank you.
And it would appear that I was quite badly wrong.
I used to carry a bottle of whiskey for snake bite. And two snakes. -Nefarious Wheel
I have hardly met a person who couldn't work out how to play taps in under an hour of playing.
Agreed. Taps isn't all that hard to play. What is hard, though, is to play Taps *well*. The notes are easy, but smooth, crisp transitions between them and a nice tone require practice. I once attended a military funeral with a bugler who had a nasty, buzzing tone, bobbled note changes and who had a hard time with the high notes. It would have been a better ceremony if they had used a bugling device. The bad redition of Taps was embarassing and distracting. That's okay for evening Taps at camp, but not for a funeral.
Note to ACs: I usually delete AC replies without reading them. If you want to talk to me, log in.
RIAA told to take a ticket behind EFF. EFF and RIAA consider murder suicide pact rather than living in world where they are treated equally.
I scream. You scream. I assume that means we're both acquainted with the problem. We proceed.
Years ago ( 1992-1996 ) I served with The Commandant's Own, United States Marine Drum & Bugle Corps. I'd like to address two things:
Funerals
When we talk about a bugle playing taps we are talking about a "simple funeral" ( a full honors funeral consists of a complete band ) and we are also typically talking about a field music playing taps on a Bb Trumpet because the U.S. Military only has 2 D&B corps left. One is The Commandant's Own in Washington, DC and the other is the U.S. Naval Academy Drum & Bugle Corps. I'm not sure how the USNA D&B works but the USMC D&B has a Duty Music of the Guard and an on-call rotation of upper-voice ( Soprano & Mellophone players ) musicians for funerals. Lower voices ( baritone and contra-bass baritone players ) do not do funerals for what should be an obvious reason. The means there are only several dozen musicans available for funerals and most of them are not available due to other operational committments of the organization. That said, they perform at hundreds of simple funerals per year in the Washington, DC area. The families of the fallen servicemen who receive these last honors are truely the lucky ones. I've witnessed many funerals and they are truely emotiona.
Thoroughout the rest of the nation simple honors funerals are perfomed by musicians from various field bands of the U.S. Military, national guard bands and volunteers from Bugles across America. They do their best to meet the mission but the sad fact is that WWII veterens are dying at a rate of couple thousand per day. Many unfortunatly, do not get proper last honors.
Bugles:
I've seen many posts in this thread with misconceptions of what a bugle is. In the military context the bugles are 2 valved ( pistons ) instruments that are pitched in G. The first valve lowers the pitch by 2 semitones and the 2nd valve lowers the pitch by a semitone. This provides for a full chromatic scale in the instruments middle range. Some notes in the lower registers are missing. Music is written to the treble clef and arranged in SATB format. Typically it's Upper and Lower Lead, 2nd and 3rd Soprano. Upper/Lower Melophones. 1st, 2nd and 3rd Baritones ( 8vb ) and Contrabass Baritone ( 15vb ).
Okay, trumpet/bugle/cornet/etc players. Put your instrument where your mouth is and volunteer.
Bugles Across America needs volunteers.
"I think I just logged onto my inter-net" -Lenny
What I need is a Productivity Emulator.
If we can have a fake bugle with a real soldier, why can't we have a real bugle and a fake soldier??
Actually it does sound different. A Bb trumpet has a generally brighter sound, while a bugle sounds duller and warmer.
(I was a bugler for the boy scouts and a Bb trumpet player in my high school's Marching Band)
How was the rascal overlooked??? http://www.rascalscooters.com/
Error 2101: all your sig are belong to us
We just recently buried one of my uncles, a WW2 vet. He got the flag covered casket, but no military escort at all. The funeral directors had to do the flag folding honors, and my father, 80 years old and a WW2 and Korea vet himself, had to step in and present the flag to the family. He did it as well as he could, considering it has been over 40 years since he had to do it last. "On behalf of the President, the Army, ..."
The shortage of real military honor guards is real, but it is clear to me that the former members of the military take the responsibility seriously. I've seen the Taps bugles (funeral of a cousin, former USA Colonel). I'm not happy with them, but it is also clear we can't just produce bugle players out of thin air.
Behold, this dreamer cometh. Come now, and let us slay him... and we shall see what will become of his dreams.
Cut a few lightning rod grounds and a lot more people will be hit by lightning.
Every $3500 saved allows us to stay in Iraq for another second. The decision is obvious.
Wired has a long and annoying history of making kneejerk lists that reflect an ignorance of the world around them, particularly the fact that there are a lot of people with special needs.
In this article they are clearly targeting, as forms of social criticism against people who are lazy:
1. The Motor Lounger: something for genuine lazy tards
2. Ice-cream turner: A gag gift
3. Computer in bed: Something that any geek who has ever been confined to a bed would drool over (but I guess we don't care about invalids).
4. The bird 2.0: Another gag gift (I mean, did someone with no sense of humor write this humorous article about lazy people gadgets)
5. Body dryer: Again, I guess we have never heard of invalids. Because of this article I am going to buy one of these for my grandmother who cannot lift her arm over her head to dry her back or hair (I guess ignorance and narrow minded bigotry does yield some edible fruit).
6. Bugle emulator: Since the whole thread is about this one I'm going to leave it alone
7. Shoe mops: I guess this was a candidate. I'd have put the Chopsticks fan http://www.mindbreakers.com/mb/img/invention7.jpg in its place, but I don't think the writer was trying too hard to find things that are genuinely about saving effort.
8. The Disc Pod: Well, I can't think of a useful purpose for this one
9. Lazy drinker: As a former caterer I can tell you that this would save thousands and thousands of dollars over a year. This is clearly not aimed at the home user.
10. Sushi machine: Same story. This is for people who have to feed lots of people regularly for cheap. Not for yuppies trying to live an urban lifestyle in their kitchen.
11. iPod bed: Yup. This is a gadget for the spoiled and lazy.
12. AIBO dog: I am curious what it says about the editor of the column that he thought the AIBO dog qualified for this article. It's a toy, dumbass.
13. Wireless cooking thermometer: I guess the author likes leaning into a blazing hot oven trying to read a mechanical gadget that's not accurate and only slightly cheaper than this item. I mean why not dispense with tools altogether and just eat it raw. Really, is this seriously supposed to save time somehow? I guess we could all go back to mechanical watches too since digital is just soooo lazy, natch the fact that they are more reliable, last longer, can be read in the dark and cost a fraction of the price.
14. Shoe dryer: Do people get their shoes wet often enough to need this? If they do then, yes, I think it would be genuinely useful. Last tme I got my shoes wet I put them by the radiator and they took three days to dry in winter.
15. Eyeglasses washer: Uh, I don't wear glasses, but I'm guessing that if I ran a shop that sold them that I'd have one of these in the back.
16. Electric fly swatter: Yeah, this is about the dumbest thing I've seen too.
17. Roomba: Well, I think it's neat, but I have to admit it qualifies for the article.
18. Hot dog toaster, okay, it's stupid, but jeez it would be fun to use the first day you have it before it clutters a spot on the top shelf for the next eight years till the kids are old enough to use it themselves. Hell, I used to wrap a dog up in a paper towel and put it in the microwave. Tasted just like the ball park (seats) and it was easier to use than this gadget looks.
19. How exactly is this easier than pouring it from the carton? Have you ever squeezed a whole orange? I think this falls into the dumb category along with the Subway chin rest http://www.mindbreakers.com/mb/img/invention1.jpg, but for the lazy? I don't get it.
Maybe I'm just lacking in a sense of humor, but I think the the guys who put this article together were either slammed up against a deadline or just enjoyed any excuse to be mean. Like th
Roger that.
I am currently serving overseas in Afghanistan, but when I was back stateside, I played plenty of funerals, both military and civilian. I am a bagpiper, and was called upon usually for Amazing Grace or Flowers of the Forest. In almost every case I didn't know the family or the decedent, but funeral details require the same dignity and respect that we would wish for ourselves or our own families.
Semper Fi!
Non tam praeclarum est scire Latine, quam turpe nescire
-- Cicero
Happy Birthday is too. Dang it looks hard though.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_horn
I'm going to preface this post by saying that I am active duty USAF currently serving in Iraq. Also I am a member of the Base Honor Guard here at my deployed location, and at my home station.
Most of you have no idea what it means to render Military Funeral Honors. To you, this is joke about the difficulty of playing Taps. To us, this is about expressing our Nation's gratitude to our fallen comrades for their years of faithful service. We take this duty very seriously, and execute it in the most professional manner possible.
The current mantra for the USAF is to do more with less. That is precisely what the bugle emulator allows us to do; render the most professional ceremony we can with the limited resources we have. The families of the deceased are always grateful that we are there, and can see the pride we take in honoring their loved one.
These are my personal opinions, and in no way reflect those of the USAF. If you would like to know the official opinion of the USAF on this subject contact the Public Affairs office at any Air Force Base.
My friend was reading a cigar catalog today. As if that wasn't silly enough, there was an ad inside for a "kinetic watch winder". It is a device "for people who own multiple kinetic watches". You put your spare watches on a little wheel and it spins them for you. Oh the irony.
A few weeks ago, I listened to "Amazing Grace" on bagpipes as an MP3 recorded by the Air Force. Nobody had died. I was just sitting at my computer. I cried.
The music gets to a certain point, maybe 3/4 the way through, then suddenly changes tonal quality. What the heck is that? It's nothing that I, as a brass player, could properly identify. It sure hits hard though.
Playing such a thing at a funeral is so mean and unfair. Next "Amazing Grace" on bagpipes, Taps is just a bedtime song.
Sue people who are already upset and got loaded guns for the last salute. There are some people you sue, and some who you don't. People who can answer the question "you and what army" fall in the last group.
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
Hnad-washing plastic lenses (which I have a good reason for using) is more delicate work than you might expect, and it has to be done hundreds of times over the lifetime of the glasses. Anything that could keep them clean *and prevent scratches* sounds like a great idea.
Yes, I have an anti-scratch coating. It does help a little.
I have an electric fly squatter at home. A friend of mine always buys crap like on the Wired page, but this squatter is really very handy. Most insects are not immediately killed by it, but they are very easily immobilized so you can kill them at ease and you don't get smudges on the walls.
I wonder when this friend of mine will buy the eyelash washer for his girlfriend.
-- Cheers!
Bugle playing and electronics, I gotta get me some of that !
There are places where the networks are not touching,and there are places where they are-Boeing's Lori Gunter
No, they couldn't.
I am a trombone player. A fairly good one.
I can't play bugle, and if I wanted to, I would have to give up playing trombone for a year or so to learn, because the mouthpiece on a bugle is vastly smaller than on a trombone or most other brass instruments, the only exceptions being the trumpet, cornet, and flugel horn. Not only that, but even for players of those three instruments, the bugle doesn't have any valves, meaning you only have a set limit of notes that can be played. That said, most trumpet, flugel horn and cornet players should have little difficulty playing the bugle for a funeral. But then, as other people have mentioned, there just aren't many trumpet, cornet and flugel horn players in the military. You can't just get any 16-year old hippy with long hair that reeks of pot to do this; it has to be a member of the service of the deceased. Having being to and participated in military funerals (needless to say Rememberance Day parades as well) here in the UK, I can tell you that if an air force member is buried, and the bugler is army or navy, relatives get pissed, and rightfully so. How pissed would they be if some ganja smoking rasta-man comes waltzin along, plays the last post (or taps in the USA) -probably badly, then goes off to take a joint. It just ain't that simple.
The truth shall always be free: Boris Floricic is Tron.
Heck, that's been done.
It's a sad day that you "die for your country" for real and they can't even provide a real trumpet player. What next? One of those "your face goes here" cut-out funerals? Perhaps soldiers should send cardboard cut-outs of themselves when they get called up.
Engineering is the art of compromise.
Any idiot could learn how to play Taps with a little bit of effort.
I could teach just about any idiot to play the opening bars of the Moonlight Sonata in an hour or less.
Doesn't mean I'd like to spend much time listening to them afterwards. There's a huge difference between working out the notes and being able to give a proper performance.
That difference consists of many hours of something we call "practice."
KFG
Yeah, we need to get those WWII vets to stop dying!
I am also a trombone player. An out-of-practice one, sure; and I'm well aware that bugle mouthpieces are far smaller than many brass instruments' - but that's not the point. It isn't the fact that bugling is harder than trumpeting that's causing these shortages; it's that there's that much ceremony (as you have illuminated to me) - if you've got to have a trained serviceman bugling then no wonder there's a problem.
Yes, it is the thought that counts, and your spouse is no less sincere for using the gas and/or electrical kitchen appliances (with timers and thermal sensors, no less!) instead of the open wood-burning fire to cook a dinner for you.
In Soviet Washington the swamp drains you.
Double that. I was in the army in the early 80's. The band on base (Fort Ord, CA) could not afford to spare their trumpet players for funerals because they needed them for other ceremonies (with a full band) so they got OJT's (On Job Training, soldiers "borrowed" from other units) to play taps. I was one of them. Let me tell you, when you're at a high-profile funeral, with generals and other high-ranking officers present, the pressure to play taps WELL is high. Also, since you have to stand at attention for the ceremony, you can't stay "warmed up" like you need to, so you're essentially playing "cold". I flubbed a note once in a while, and I've played trumet since 5th grade.
As many others have pointed out, we use these (we have three of them)not because of laziness, but because no one has the skill set required to play the bugle -well-. The actual device is a small player that fits exactly inside the bell of a real bugle, so it resonates and has a far nicer tone than a tape recorder, plus looks much better. We have had numerous compliments on our "bugle player", and even those that could tell the difference feel that it is much better than a tape recorder.
I only attended one funeral where the bugle was specifically -not- requested... it was for a WWII Merchant Marine vet who was a member of a jazz band, and his buddies not only plyed taps, but did little improvisational riffs throughout hte service.
While you were talking about people not caring about the elderly...what about the elderly who can no longer vacuum? ...
That's just cruel! You want to give a robot to the elderly? Robots are already everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel. And when they grab you with those metal claws, you can't break free, because they're made of metal and robots are strong.
Military funerals are for people who die during service, not veterans.
Perhaps on your side of the pond. Not on ours.
Ok, in the above you can find a few justified quibbles, but, ummmmmmm, I knew that.
KFG
Having been in the Marines, I had the oppurtunity to play the auto-bugle at the funerals of several veterans. It actually put me in quite an awkward situation on several occassions. It's actually quite comical. There I am, someone with zero musical ability, standing in front of an entire funeral, cheeks bulging in and out, pretending to play the bugle. After my "performance" I had several people come up to me (including the teary-eyed widow of the deceased) telling me that I was the best bugle player they ever heard and that my rendition of Taps was the most heartfelt and sincere they had ever witnessed. I didn't have the heart to tell them that it was all just a show, but based on the audience's reaction I should have been awarded an Oscar and a Grammy!
Microsoft should hire me. I can write code that doesn't work faster than the guys they have doing it now.
So get off your ass and volunteer to go play the bugle for them! Bring your friends, it would do you all some good.
I volunteered for, and served on this detail for 5 years while I was in the USAF.
Why should they pay you? Didn't they prepay that bill with their service?
Bugle vs Trumpet...
There are minor differences in the shape of the horn -- the progression from the mouth piece to the bell.
Bugles are (usually) in the key of G, Trumpets are B-flat.
Bugles can have from zero to three valves.
Like Trumpets, Bugles can have interchangeable mouth pieces. The player can select the size (diameter, bowl size, and bowl depth) that best fits.
Bugles come in different sizes too - from the Soprano (looks like a typical trumpet) to Contras (looks sorta like a Tuba..)
- Peter, who's wife and son both play 3rd Sop (bugle) for the oldest competing Drum and Bugle Corps in the US.
Which Corps?
I thought MN Brass was marching B-flat horns. Govies are still marching G, not sure about Chops.
My wife is currently marching with Govies, and used to march with MN Brass and Spirit of Atlanta...
I march Pioneer, we're the only Div 1 corps still playing G bugles. It's kind of sad, since they have a much richer sound than those damn B flats. Much heavier though, playing a G euph sucks a lot.
It was funny, though :)