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Review: Cowboys & Aliens
So let me be clear up front: I didn't hate it. The only movie this summer that I walked out of the theater thinking FAIL in capital letters was Green Lantern. So far everything else has had some sort of redeeming value. And this does too: solid production values, occasionally funny dialog, cool looking aliens, and a really awesome bad guy base/rocket ship is good fun.
The plot: Daniel Craig is a cowboy who wakes up with amnesia and a strange metal wrist band. He runs afoul of a punk kid with a rich daddy (Ford) in a town where blinking lights in the sky show up and lasso people away at night. So Craig and Ford and a ragtag assortment of town folk go looking for their kin, learning about the aliens, and growing beyond their cheesy racism with the local indians, and shooting pistols at alien space ships.
The sci-fi western is tough sod to trod. The winners (Firefly, Cowboy Bebop) have typically placed Cowboys into Outter Space, and not Aliens into the Old West. For me, this is because the whole old west/cowboy thing is kinda campy. Hollywood dried up that well over the years, leaving behind a legacy of great and terrible movies. But the Western has a visual vocabulary we all know. The Bar Hall Brawl. The standoff in main street between two gun-slingers. The Boozing and the Prostitutes. And of course the dialog conventions... that 1800s slang which is very fun to play with for a moment, and pretty annoying after awhile. Unless you are Malcolm Reynolds.
I think they did an ok job with their world. They never really break out of The Old West. With the exception of the super weapon that Craig has attached to his wrist, the good guys weapons are pistols, rifles, dynamite sticks which makes it all the more awesome fighting highly maneuverable alien fighter jets, as well as the more melee battles on the ground.
The aliens and their technology are a mixed bag. Their design is sort of like a turtle with a quatto to inside. We see 2 ships: one which is kinda a fighter that looks like a firefly, and one giant rocket base that is mostly underground and used to mine gold (which is explained, but really is done just for cool golden visuals scattered all around the film, and to justify alien presence and overall badness).
Should you see it? I enjoyed Captain America, Harry Potter, and Thor more. But this was better than Transformers 3 and Green Lantern. It's visually stylized. Sometimes charming. My wife thought Daniel Craig was just ok, where I found him to be pretty cool. I thought Harrison Ford to once again proves that he is just to old for this sort of work: Same problem with Indiana Jones the action just isn't believable any more- he looks and moves like an old man, and they edit it this stuff to make him look like he is doing more than he is instead of embracing the fact that he's an old guy shuffling around. He just doesn't pull it off. But he looks good in a hat.
But when I look at the producer credits, I can't help but feel like this just should have been better. There are 8 writers, including several of the Bad Robot regulars. The producers include the Ron Howard/Brian Grazer team, Steven Spielburg and those Lost guys again. I can't help but feel like when the dust settled, this was a film by committee. From the design to the script to the casting and somewhere through 8 writers and all these producers a bit of sparkle got sanded off.
But hey, next summer Pirates & Aliens? Ninjas & Aliens? I spent all night trying to decide what genre should encounter aliens next, and i have the answer: Alien & Aliens. Now THAT would be a movie.
Who the heck is that?
The true sign of any picture I would avoid.
One mans opinion is of no consequence to me.
I still plan to see it on netflix.
Cool starry bra
They already have an alien vs ninja =) : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alien_vs_Ninja
It's nothing like the comic and as AC posted there are eight writers which is a warning sign.
I was hoping there would be a high noon shootout, a crazy old prospector sidekick, the whore with a heart of gold and a six shooter between her boobs, saving an alien from being hung by the sheriff who's more crooked than the branch on the executioner's tree. Instead "Aliens are greedy like us. Supposedly killing off humans means they can get all our gold." Aliens who can travel interstellar distances have the need to exterminate humanity when 16-17th century tradesmen traded realty for shiny beads of glass then have the unmitigated gall to gift those natives with blankets full of cooties. Crappy films are good when they're crowdpleasers but there weren't any joyful moments where humanity got their comeuppance against the aliens.
I expected Blazing Saddles with anal probes. Instead I got JJ Abrams without lens flare.
and a Han Solo
"A" Han Solo? Since when were there multiples?
Daniel Craig aka Vladimir Putin should be a Bond villain not James Bond. How do they explain him being a cowboy in this? The KGB sent him to spy on our cattle?
Smurfs vs. Aliens. Little blue men vs. little green men.
Pirates & Ninjas, obviously!
The producers include the Ron Howard/Brian Grazer team, Steven Spielburg and those Lost guys again.
Wow, that just screams mediocre crap before the first scene even plays.
Same problem with Indiana Jones the action just isn't believable any more- he looks and moves like an old man
Ford seems to be one of those actors who just can't accept his age. And for some reason, everyone is still indulging him (maybe they're still starstruck from his younger days). Personally, he's one of the actors I would least want to ever have to work with. He comes off as an arrogant prick in just about every interview and the people who've worked with him don't ever seem to have many kind words for him (except Lucas and Spielburg, who both started working with him before he became so big). Basically, he's an old-school movie star who does everything HIS way and isn't going to listen to any direction at all, especially someone telling him "You're an old man now, and you look stupid as shit in a fight scene." And this is not the kind of movie he should be in anymore (not sure what in the hell Favreau was thinking).
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
They actually made that before Cowboys and Aliens...
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1592503/
"I thought Harrison Ford to once again proves that he is just to old for this sort of work"
Is CmdrTaco ESL? I have not seen grammatical flubs with this density since teaching english abroad.
Remember Aliens VS Predator, which was another OK movie.
Seriously. I don't care what the critics say, it had cowboys, aliens, Olivia Wilde, Daniel Craig, and Harrison Ford. If you don't like it, then you, my friend, just don't know art.
Google: "All your data are belong to us."
Harry Potter movie was in the next auditorium. A lot of good looking chicks.
Our C&A auditorium: No chicks whatsoever. A lot of gray neck-bearded geeks. Bleah.
I am shaving my gray beard ASAP.
The movie was OK. Not great but passable.
Am I the only one that was hoping for a scene on a train, so that Harrison Ford could tell an alien to "Get off my train"?
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for it to be pitted against a slightly greater evil
Alien & Aliens -- Isn't that AVP: Alien vs. Predator?
And Ninjas & Aliens -- apparently that was made last year: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1592503/
Jürgen Prochnow as the prussian sabre scarred Zeppelin captain with a vast history and one last battle to prove! ...and i dunno...uh, John Malkovich as the psionically mentally linked Pterodactyl master - who, unlikely enough, has a past that overlaps Prochnow's ...yeah.
It might be worth seeing if it had Vin Diesel.
And I was really drunk.
It wasn't a bad movie. But it wasn't original either.
I shouldn't compain too much about that though, since there really aren't any original movies. Every movie I ever watch these days just gives me a sense of deja-vu.
And, no, Matrix was not original, you kids. Off my lawn!
And if Jayma Mays shows up in that movie naked, I'm there.
(Yes, she's in my list of five. Just sayin'...)
Is it just my observation, or are there way too many stupid people in the world?
To me it was a fun, marginally campy movie. Daniel Craig does a pretty good job playing the tough guy. I didn't go in looking for a life-changing experience, and I came of the theater having enjoyed myself.
I guess each has his own opinion, but I still don't understanding the hating some people have for this movie, given its limited ambitions in the first place.
Y'know, people need to just learn to turn off their brains once in a while. If you really wanna use your brains when you see a movie, don't go to the cinema at the mall, go to the art-house cinema in the college district.
This is where the genre of "popcorn movies" comes into play. It's not great, it's not bad, it's a movie you can enjoy so long as you've got a bit of popcorn to stuff in your face while you watch it. Quite frankly, the last "Steak and Potatoes" movie I saw was "Moon", and I left the theater incredibly happy. The last "Dinner and Nightcap" movie I saw was "Avatar", and I left THAT one a bit dizzy and giggly, wanting a cigarette.
But most of the summer offerings so far have been either Popcorn, or flat out Pepto-Bismol. "Percy Jackson and the Olympians" from last year is a perfect example of a Peptol-Bismol movie, and I'm glad I didn't see it in the theater, but got it from "a friend".
"Cowboys and Aliens"? I'd call this one a "Popcorn, Soda and Hot Dog" movie. It's not a "Steak and Potatoes" movie, but it's got more brains than just a popcorn. You don't need a brain, per se, but if you care to use it, you won't be terribly disappointed. You'll still be a bit peckish when you leave, but not sick over spending 10 bux.
[End Of Line]
The key to enjoying any movie is correct expectations. If you, like CmdrTaco, cannot help but to compare this with Firefly/Serenity, you will be disappointed. It's not a space western, it's a Close Encounter, and quite honestly, has more in common with that movie than any western. It uses the usual suspects of western stereotypes in order to keep the backstories to a minimum, and does it as effectively as any other movie has. Ultimately it's an action movie, and the action delivers a 6 or 7 out of 10, which is the only real complaint.
So when is Cowboys vs Predators coming out?
Professor Karmadillo Songs of Science
It's called Aliens vs Predators.
Be More, Be Manly, The Manly Geek Ubergeek Extraordinaire Blogger: www.manlygeek.com/blog Podcaster: podcast.man
I just saw this last night... it has some interesting problems... like how did the girl even get there? all together not great... and there was a lot of advertising for it, which raises our expectations...
+ babysitter? Sounds like, "no".
I wish that Hollywood would understand that making money of movies is not a god-given right, that folks won't go to movies just cause they're there.
I saw an interview with Favreau, where he said something like this movie "gave him a chance to experiment blah blah". Tip: movies that want to be commercially successful should not be seen as a director's playground of "visuals" etc. They should tell a story that the audience will be interested in.
If Favreau wants to experiment, he should do it on the indie circuit with $5M budgets. Or accept that his $100M experiments only demonstrates that doing something for his own enjoyment are not what others will enjoy as well.
--
$tar -xvf
"I am sick of these Muth-f'ing aliens on this Mutha-f'ing planet!" -- I mean come on, Cowboys and aliens is this years "Snakes on a Plane" - the title is the movie and the movie is the title.
If telephones are outlawed, then only outlaws will have telephones.
Frankly, I'm done with these genre flicks of late. I'm also tired of the comic book crap. Spiderman was good, Spiderman 2, not so much etc. The Hulk movies were just there to fill seats with CGI which, let's face it, is what writers go for these days. Come on Nick Nolte? Seriously?
To do a movie nowadays it seems you have to pick from one of the subjects: Toys, Saturday Morning Cartoons, Comic Books and "artsy." Yes with 8 writers it was bad, but the OG "Casino Royale" had what, 5 directors and I still laugh every time I see it. It's especially funny when you remember it uses the same Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass music throughout.
Come on, Woody Allen as a villain? Classic.
When I go to a movie I want to be entertained, otherwise I can spend my $20 bucks on a lap dance.
Harrison's Postulate - "For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism"
Wasn't Predator vs Alien enough to satisfy the Alien vs Alien wish? If an enemy of your enemy is your friend then if two enemies are fighting doesn't that make it a win/win situation?
And Iron Man Director Jon Favreau has blown a pretty penny trying to make the whole thing work, getting the sexiest woman alive from Maxim a few years back, as well as a James Bond and a Han Solo to convince you to come to the theater and watch 6-shooters take on the little green men.
Huh... Sexy woman, Bond, and Solo? Perhaps we'll get the names of these three shortly...
The plot: Daniel Craig is a cowboy who wakes up with amnesia and a strange metal wrist band. He runs afoul of a punk kid with a rich daddy (Ford) in a town where blinking lights in the sky show up and lasso people away at night. So Craig and Ford and a ragtag assortment of town folk go looking for their kin, learning about the aliens, and growing beyond their cheesy racism with the local indians, and shooting pistols at alien space ships.
Well, that's two. What about her name?
She's the lead actress, the love interest, and, in your words, the "sexiest woman alive"? Come on, Taco... Surely she has a name, or were you too busy spanking it to her tits to bother looking it up? She even shares top billing on the goddamn poster.
Frankly, Olivia Wilde deserves better than this shiat review.
Every time I read a good sci-fi novel I think to myself, "why is Hollywood incapable, at least nowadays, of making a movie even half this good?"
These movies offer nothing but hackneyed concepts, idiotic premises and gaping plot holes. And a significant part of the problem is that these movies all need to be turned into blockbusters. That means that any sci-fi movie is turned into an action movie with epic undertones. Hollywood lacks both creativity and subtlety and Cowboys & Aliens is a perfect example of this.
They could have taken the concept and turned it into something truly wacky, embracing the whole absurdity of the idea. Or they could have gone in the other direction and done something intimate and character driven; I'm reminded of a few episodes of Star Trek which fall under a similar premise. Instead they went for the mundane. They took the standard for a sci-fi action movie and injected the cowboy theme into it. But then, it shouldn't really be a surprise to anyone that Hollywood is not much more than a movie factory.
Much better: E.T. vs. Aliens
Imagine the poor E.T. being rescued by his space friends, only to watch them ripped in an awesome kitchen scene...
But this was better than Transformers 3 and Green Lantern.
That's just harsh.
sic transit gloria mundi
The title pretty much screamed "Don't see me I'm shit". I love sci-fi and don't mind the western but how could someone thing this would be good movie? I suppose if explosions and gunfire are all that is needed to make a good film for you then it might work but otherwise it just doesn't make any sense to see this before it's on streaming from netflix.
When I saw the title I thought it was about that sheriff in Arizona, Joe Arpaio
Walker Texas Ranger vs. Aliens
Not using your brain probably lowers your IQ or at least makes thinking seem like more work. People have way too much time to turn off their brain; watching TV turns off more of their brains than sleeping does! Given how much stupid shit goes on these days people need to wake up and START thinking not take a break (a break which they've not earned.)
Our lives have become like our food-- cheap junk we buy to falsely fill needs leaving us unfulfilled... so we consume endlessly as long as we go down the wrong path. Many people don't know the difference between wants and needs and fewer understand the difference between fact and opinion than before. We are not just getting FAT from this new cultural pattern but its also harming all other aspects of life (as we become fat headed too.)
Democracy Now! - uncensored, anti-establishment news
I liked the film, honestly. I took my dad, who likes westerns, and he enjoyed it also. Granted, the mcguffin (aliens want our gold!) was stupid, but otherwise the film's action held up. I liked that Harrison Ford's character was given some depth instead of him being the town asshole through the whole movie. Daniel Craig's character was also more complex than needed for an action film, which was nice.
Someone had told me this was based on a graphic novel. Is that not the case? Judging from the complaints about the "8 writers" I guess not. I had attributed the poor mcguffin to the source material.
Nitewing '98
Everything works...in theory.
1. THE UNION PACIFIC STORY
2. THE RANCH STORY
3. THE EMPIRE STORY
4. THE REVENGE STORY
5. CUSTER'S LAST STAND
6. THE OUTLAW STORY
7. THE MARSHAL STORY
from another post I had of 1958 TV guide article, "Seven Ways to Plot a Western"
I haven't seen the movie, not planning to (I just don't go to movies anymore). Sounds interesting however (an 8th plot? maybe that's why they needed eight writers?)
mfwright@batnet.com
I want to see Sex & the City & Aliens with the aliens winning.
Though Sarah Jessica Parker would have to wear some sort of badge or special t-shirt so she can be distinguished from the aliens.
You are welcome on my lawn.
Where's the Attack the Block review? Sounds like that is the real alien genre mashup winner.
Reviewing just the first hour of video games.
This one is pretty well worn too.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alien_vs._Predator
There are a couple of interesting mashups possible based on contemporary films though:
Batman v. Aliens
Smurfs v. aliens
Aliens With Benefits
I swear when I read this, I though it said Allen and Aliens... Damn font...
imagine that in middle of the World War II, Alien Forces invade the Earth, and you see USA Shermans, Rusian Tigers and German Panthers fighting side to side to this, or the Yamato and the Yorktown in a desesperate battle against Aliens in the Pacific Sea.
well Harry Turtledove write a great fiction history series about this, (World War, and their sequel, Colonization).
SciFi did an excellent riff on this theme already: High Plains Invaders (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1388432/). It even had James Marsters! So if this is a bigger-budget version of that I'll be just as happy.
Now that sounds like the next big crossover movie. AvPvT. I can almost imagine the plot now. The Predators come back to Earth to seed a few more Aliens to hunt like the last AvP movies, but this time they find that Skynet has taken over and they fight for their lives with the Terminators, but in the end they lose leaving their ship behind. Then, in the sequel to this movie (the first big summer block buster with no actual human dialogue), Skynet incorporates the Predator tech sending a ship full of souped up Terminators with cloaking abilities back to the Predator home world to take it over. They will, of course, lose, because they lack the Predators fighting spirit. Then, the Predators will return one last time and nuke Earth from orbit. It is the only way to be sure.
Nevermore.
done been did that already; Aliens vs Predator.
How about some more creative ideas for match ups?
I wanna see Terminator versus Ninjas. (who can hunt down and kill John Conner faster?)
Oh wait, that was The Last Starfighter. Or maybe Empire Strikes Back.
Okay, what about Time Lord versus Terminator? Who can travel back in time 100 years faster?
Epic Serial Killer (Hannibal Lechter) versus Captain Jack Sparrow? Simple Debauchery of a female FBI agent?
Cowboy Bebop versus SG-1? (who can hunt down and kill John Conner - who is really just some dude infected with an alien mind-control parasite?)
Bender versus Cylons? Philosophy contest.
These are my friends, See how they glisten. See this one shine, how he smiles in the light.
Subject says it all.
I'm about to go see this movie in a few minutes in spite of some of the comments I've read so far, based mostly upon my love of Olivia Wilder, and some respect for Harrison Ford in spite of the last Indiana Jones flick... I'm wondering where the comments I expected from the ( usually ) painfully knowledgeable crowd are about how this movie is ripping off Bruce Boxleitner's IP from the Frontier Earth books he created decades ago based on the subject of cowboys and aliens ? I'm sure with all the fans around here I can't be the only Babylon 5 fan who read the ( incomplete ) series... I'll look thru the remaining comments later to see who else sees this as derivative, and to give my nickel's worth review.
Because we need, you know... *more* of a gap between us lowly humans and those creepy dudes with FTL drives and laser cannon and all. So we can overcome them with just our brains and some heavy rocks and really pointy sticks!
The sci-fi western is tough sod to trod. The winners (Firefly, Cowboy Bebop) have typically placed Cowboys into Outter Space, and not Aliens into the Old West.
and a foreign cartoon that only has cowboys in the name when talking about an unrelated movie.
Calling Cowboy Bebop a 'sci-fi western' is a bit of a stretch. I mean, they are bounty hunters, which is an Old West-y concept, and they call themselves cowboys, but that's about as far as the similarities go. It's hard to actually define which genre Bebop belongs to, it's sort of a mishmash of dystopian-scifi-anime-crime drama-adventure saga. Not much room for 'western' in there.
For optimal comment enjoyment, take red pill now.
"I thought Harrison Ford to once again proves that he is just to old for this sort of work"
TOO old.
Thanks.