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Aussies Could Use Elephants To Fight Invasive Species

A type of invasive African grass is a major cause of wildfires in Australia. The giant gamba grass is too large for cattle and the native marsupial grazers to eat, but David Bowman, a professor of environmental change biology at the University of Tasmania has a plan. He says that elephants or rhinoceroses could eat the pest grass. "... the only other methods likely to control gamba grass involve using chemicals or physically clearing the land, which would destroy the habitat. Using mega-herbivores may ultimately be more practical and cost-effective, and it would help to conserve animals that are threatened by poaching in their native environments," he said. This plan makes you wonder just how big a Chinese needle snake can grow.

274 comments

  1. And in the winter... by Megane · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...the Elephants simply starve to death.

    --
    #naabhaprzrag, #sverubfr-000, #agi-fcbafberq, negvpyr[pynff*=' negvpyr-ary-'] { qvfcynl: abar !vzcbegnag; }
    1. Re:And in the winter... by somersault · · Score: 1

      What winter? :p

      --
      which is totally what she said
    2. Re:And in the winter... by Hentes · · Score: 3, Funny

      You mean summer?

    3. Re:And in the winter... by Bill+Currie · · Score: 5, Funny

      Australia has two seasons: summer (August, though for some strange reason, Australians insist on calling it winter) and "I'd rather be in hell" (the rest of the year). Except in Melbourne: all four seasons in one day.

      --

      Bill - aka taniwha
      --
      Leave others their otherness. -- Aratak

    4. Re:And in the winter... by MichaelSmith · · Score: 2

      Yes there is that problem.

    5. Re:And in the winter... by MrKaos · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Sydney has a freezing winter rain in summer and the air turns into a wall of white water. You get just as wet from the rain as you do from the humidity. The only difference is if you have your sunnies on or not.

      Then someone turns the weather switch and while that toggle switch goes from winter to summer or visa versa the day will be maybe hot maybe dry maybe rain maybe cold, the only difference is it will be that way all day after you've left for work you either carry your jacket and wear your sunnies or you wear your sunnies and carry your jacket. But don't dare open an umbrella or the wind will rip it to pieces or sudden lightning reduce it a hole in the ground with some molten metal and the remains of one of your shoes. Deodourant companies are listed on the commodities market.

      Then winter is so dry that your lips skin and hands dry and crack and you suddenly get two days of summer in winter.

      Except when it's the other way around and it pours the freezing winter rain in winter and summer is so dry that everything everywhere is so flammable that if the reflection of your sunglasses hits the ground at the wrong angle the whole place goes up in flames.

      The fire warning signs read something like (This is not a joke) Normal, High, Dangerous, Extremely dangerous, catastrophic. I almost feel it is appropriate to have them add "We're all gonna die" or "save the children" in case some people don't understand the point.

      Other than that the weather here is wonderful, I'm sure the elephants will have a great time.

      --
      My ism, it's full of beliefs.
    6. Re:And in the winter... by vgerclover · · Score: 5, Funny

      Skinner: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
      Lisa: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?
      Skinner: No problem. We simply release wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
      Lisa: But aren't the snakes even worse?
      Skinner: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
      Lisa: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
      Skinner: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

      http://www.snpp.com/episodes/5F22 Bart the mother

    7. Re:And in the winter... by petermgreen · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Seriously though megafauna are relatively easy to control because they breed slowly and can't really hide. It's the small animals you have to worry about.

      --
      note: i'm known as plugwash most places but i screwd up registering that here somehow in the past and now can't register
    8. Re:And in the winter... by rtb61 · · Score: 1

      Australia has fine snow fields http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Does_Australia_have_more_snow-covered_land_than_Switzerland.

      Of course the elephants would be located a bit further north than that.

      The problem with elephants of course is whislt they might eat the gamba grass they won't limit their diet to eat. So all the other elephant palatable vegetation will also suffer.

      --
      Chaos - everything, everywhere, everywhen
    9. Re:And in the winter... by Pharmboy · · Score: 2

      Does Australia have more snow-covered land than Switzerland

      Switzerland isn't even 16k sq. mi. in area. Australia is 2,941,299 sq. mi. and is 184 TIMES its size. The state of West Virginia probably has more snow covered land than Switzerland. Not sure that is even a valid question, comparing a tiny country to a large continent.

      --
      Tequila: It's not just for breakfast anymore!
    10. Re:And in the winter... by Dexter+Herbivore · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Seriously though megafauna are relatively easy to control because they breed slowly and can't really hide. It's the small animals you have to worry about.

      You've obviously never stared down a charging bull elephant. (Not that I have, but it haunts my nightmares and I'm an Australian).

    11. Re:And in the winter... by toygeek · · Score: 2

      This in a country that has actually had Land Sharks.

    12. Re:And in the winter... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Thank you sir or madam, your post made my day. Haven't laughed that hard at something in a long time.

      Wow, and I thought Colorado summers (in the mountains) were wild. Hiking once it went from sunny and warm to snowing, TWICE, within fifteen minutes (we left promptly). But the warning signs are nowhere near that dire!

    13. Re:And in the winter... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Thanks for posting this, I was trying to remember this episode! Cheers!

    14. Re:And in the winter... by plopez · · Score: 2

      NOW there' slow breeding mega-fauna. But evolution is a funny thing. In a new environment something could change all that....

      --
      putting the 'B' in LGBTQ+
    15. Re:And in the winter... by TheLink · · Score: 1, Flamebait

      Instead of that maybe the Aussies could try to convince the Chinese that Giant Gamba Grass in Australia has medicinal properties. Might go near extinct soon after, with Australian farmers having to grow gamba grass to meet the demand ;).

      --
    16. Re:And in the winter... by PhunkySchtuff · · Score: 1

      You mean, something like the Cane Toad?

    17. Re:And in the winter... by petermgreen · · Score: 1

      You didn't make it clear whether you were replying to the first part of my post and being sarcastic or replying to the second part and agreeing with it. I will assume the latter.

      The likes of rabbits and cane toads are precisely the kind of species you DO have to worry about. Cane toads produce tiny eggs which lay dormant in the water for some time before hatching. Rabbits hide underground. Both are also small and fast breeding. The result is it's nearly impossible to wipe them out.

      --
      note: i'm known as plugwash most places but i screwd up registering that here somehow in the past and now can't register
    18. Re:And in the winter... by lazybeam · · Score: 1

      Re fire signs: theres a formula to work out which warning to use, which is a usually a number less than 200. (above 100 is catastrophic iirc). It takes in account temp, wind, humidity and fuel. However, just before the Victorian bushfires a few years ago the number was well over 200, which is literally off the chart.

      And re sunnies: I use "Transistions" glasses so I have built in sunglasses at all times! :)

      I'm on the Gold Coast. Deodourant does nothing for me.

      --
      --
      no sig for you. come back one year.
    19. Re:And in the winter... by BeaverCleaver · · Score: 1

      The difference between the Swiss mountains and the Australian "snowfields" is that the Swiss ones actually get snow each year. I've been lucky enough to ski in the Rockies, the Alps and Australia, and Aussie skiing is a huge gamble. It's the driest inhabited continent, and has the lowest mountain peaks - not conducive to good snowfall.

      Not to mention the biggest ski resort is mostly owned by the Packer family, and there's no way I'm going to give that family $104 dollars for a day's lift ticket to slide aounbd on some slushy mud. It's cheaper to get a lift ticket in Vail or Aspen, and at least they have reliable snow. A bad day of skiing in Colorado would count as an epic day down here.

      Great beaches though.

    20. Re:And in the winter... by PhunkySchtuff · · Score: 1

      Yes, the second part. There was a docco on here recently about Cane Toads and what a disaster they've become. From just over 100 toads that were initially introduced, to eat beetles that live 2m above the ground in cane fields, and a toad that doesn't climb very well, they've now taken over the entire of the north-east area of Australia and they're rapidly heading west and as far south as they can tolerate the weather.

      Compared to native frogs and toads who will lay 100's of eggs once a year, cane toads lay 10,000's of eggs once or twice a year. Plus they are toxic, so that any animals that eat just one invariably end up dying.

      There is simply no way to control these pests, we're stuck with them for a very long time. All from around 100 animals that were brought in.

      Now, granted, larger species are a lot easier to control - they breed more slowly, they're easier to find, but you still have to be very careful about bringing in foreign animals to an environment and letting them loose...

    21. Re:And in the winter... by Carnildo · · Score: 1

      The fire warning signs read something like (This is not a joke) Normal, High, Dangerous, Extremely dangerous, catastrophic. I almost feel it is appropriate to have them add "We're all gonna die" or "save the children" in case some people don't understand the point.

      A wonderful tree, eucalyptus. Here in the western US, fires are common enough that trees produce seeds that don't sprout until they've reached a certain temperature (implying a fire hot enough to clear room for the seedlings to grow). Eucalyptus goes one better, by actively working to start those fires.

      --
      "They redundantly repeated themselves over and over again incessantly without end ad infinitum" -- ibid.
    22. Re:And in the winter... by icebike · · Score: 2

      You didn't make it clear whether you were replying to the first part of my post and being sarcastic or replying to the second part

      This is slashdot. Making things clear is optional, and usually counterproductive.

      --
      Sig Battery depleted. Reverting to safe mode.
    23. Re:And in the winter... by icebike · · Score: 1

      Rabbits were the same store, were they not?

      --
      Sig Battery depleted. Reverting to safe mode.
    24. Re:And in the winter... by rtb61 · · Score: 1

      There are many ski resorts in Victoria and in NSW, http://www.snowholidays.com.au/, so take your pick. Afterwards if you like you can enjoy the tropical north http://www.territorydiscoveries.com/ to warm up. As you come off as a bit whiny, I suggest you go for a swim in Kakadu http://www.kakadunationalparkaustralia.com/Crocodiles-in-Kakadu-National-Park.htm and save a lot of holiday location staff some annoyance.

      Personally I've heard New Zealand http://www.nzski.com/ makes for the best ski holidays http://www.heliski.co.nz/.

      All the while low altitudes will be free of snow ensuring accessible holiday travel and access to other types of holiday venues while you are there.

      --
      Chaos - everything, everywhere, everywhen
    25. Re:And in the winter... by sd4f · · Score: 1

      That's true, the snow here is bad, and expensive, it quite often is better to go off the new zealand for a ski trip, as you'll end up paying less, and have decent snow fields.

    26. Re:And in the winter... by sd4f · · Score: 1

      yea, i might finally have a good reason to own a .416 rigby and a 4 bore

    27. Re:And in the winter... by Whiteox · · Score: 1

      That depends on those militant Victorians. I can see them invade New South Wales with armoured elephants crossing the Snowy Mountains.
      It's only a matter of time.....

      --
      Don't be apathetic. Procrastinate!
    28. Re:And in the winter... by evilviper · · Score: 1

      Then winter is so dry that your lips skin and hands dry and crack (...)
      The fire warning signs read something like (This is not a joke) Normal, High, Dangerous, Extremely dangerous, catastrophic.

      Sounds like an improvement over Southern California.

      Got to go, my neighbor's house just got burried by a mudslide...

      --
      Slashdot gets worse every day... Pipedot: News for nerds, without the corporate slant
    29. Re:And in the winter... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Except in Melbourne: all four seasons in one day.

      I always wondered why it was twinned with Edinburgh - if you dont like the weather in Edinburgh, wait half an hour.

    30. Re:And in the winter... by MrKaos · · Score: 1

      The fire warning signs read something like (This is not a joke) Normal, High, Dangerous, Extremely dangerous, catastrophic. I almost feel it is appropriate to have them add "We're all gonna die" or "save the children" in case some people don't understand the point.

      A wonderful tree, eucalyptus. Here in the western US, fires are common enough that trees produce seeds that don't sprout until they've reached a certain temperature (implying a fire hot enough to clear room for the seedlings to grow). Eucalyptus goes one better, by actively working to start those fires.

      Absolutely great point Carnildo. Tourists here often wonder why they call The Blue Mountains, The Blue Mountains. Then they see them and they say "Wow, people in Sydney call The Blue Mountains, The Blue Mountains because...they...are..Blue.". The reason is because the Eucalypt lets out this fantastic oil which floats in the air like a mist when it's really hot and dry saying c'mon mutherfuckernature burn me, I dare you.

      That's right folk even the trees here are so tough they ain't afraid of a little fire, even though it burns all the human houses to the ground and pretty much turns the place into the surface of the moon for a year or two. But it eventually recovers only to say a few years later, "is that the best you can do" - Nothing worse than a tree that likes to play with fire, indeed taunting the fire and making jokes about fire's mother. Because they are big beautiful tress, safe as houses, until they fall on your house and squash it or your cars.

      Make no mistake Sydney is a beautiful city, but most of the time the only thing you see is the pictures of the city itself not the surrounding beaches and bush. Every now and then there will be a dust storm so severe that it covers the city for days and it's almost impossible to get around and the airport has to shut down. If anything people that live here are painfully aware of the contradictions in the weather flood, drought, fire are a normal part of living here.

      --
      My ism, it's full of beliefs.
    31. Re:And in the winter... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What the heck are sunnies?

  2. End game by sakdoctor · · Score: 5, Insightful

    But who will eat the elephants when they become invasive?

    1. Re:End game by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Is elephant meat tasty ?

    2. Re:End game by el3mentary · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Elephants breed so slowly their numbers would be incredibly easy to control

      --
      I reject your reality and substitute my own.
    3. Re:End game by Kjella · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Eat them, I don't know... but hunt them to extinction should be no problem at all, they're not exactly small and hard to spot. The more problematic bits would be if they've brought microbes with them, upset the balance of nature some other way etc. - it's a gamble with very many variables...

      --
      Live today, because you never know what tomorrow brings
    4. Re:End game by deniable · · Score: 4, Funny

      Cane toads.

    5. Re:End game by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      But who will eat the elephants when they become invasive?

      They plan to sterilize the beasts, and track them with GPS.

      Plan B involves reintroducing the T Rex, as seen on the documentary Jurassic Park.

    6. Re:End game by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      tastes like chicken?

    7. Re:End game by Chatsubo · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Well the horrible truth is they'll get poached out much quicker than they can breed. Keeping something like a rhino alive in such close proximity to the east might be a challenge that outweighs the benefits.

      --
      > no, yes, maybe (tagging beta)
    8. Re:End game by Sulphur · · Score: 1

      tastes like chicken?

      Listen to them cackle.

    9. Re:End game by jamesh · · Score: 1

      But who will eat the elephants when they become invasive?

      I'm more worried about what they'll decide to eat instead of the gamba grass. What if they develop a taste for kangaroos... or kittens?

    10. Re:End game by michelcolman · · Score: 3, Interesting

      So partly to help conserve these animals, they are going to transfer them from their native habitat and sterilize them?

    11. Re:End game by qwak23 · · Score: 1

      I will, or at least I will try it once.

      As it is, Australia tends to serve quite a large variety of meats compared to most of the other countries I've been to.

      Granted, in some of those countries I don't necessarily ask (This has nothing to do with not wanting to know, I have no bias as to which animal I am eating*), I just assume the label is correct. I've also had plenty of things that accoridng to the menu (at least the english menu) just contained "meat". At least the Australians advertise what they are serving.

      *With the exception of homo sapiens

    12. Re:End game by queBurro · · Score: 1

      ho hum, what if the elephants actually do ok? but they poo everywhere and some fly we've not considered thrives on that? suddenly! flies everywhere (again, a la the problem they had when they introduced cattle)

      --
      sag
    13. Re:End game by Inda · · Score: 4, Informative

      I know this thread has been about giggles but one thing seems to have been missed.

      Its been proposed that the elephants are sterilised first.

      --
      This post contains benzene, nitrosamines, formaldehyde and hydrogen cyanide.
    14. Re:End game by thereitis · · Score: 1

      The world would be a much better place if we had another 50,000 elephants and rhinos, both of which are endangered species and predicted to disappear in the next couple decades.

    15. Re:End game by admiralranga · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Getting a license for something that can kill an elephant in aus, you make me laugh.

    16. Re:End game by daktari · · Score: 1

      Cane toads.

      ... risk being trampled by these big creatures.

      --
      A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees. -- Willam Blake
    17. Re:End game by agentgonzo · · Score: 5, Informative

      +5 insightful? Funny I could understand.

      Kruger park has a massive over-population of elephants. It has a carrying-capacity (the number that the land-mass can sustainably support without being detrimental to the ecosystem) of about 8,000 elephants and now has over 20,000 (and still rising) causing major problem (both ecologically and politically as to how to reduce the numbers without resulting to a mass-cull).

      Contraception is not exactly feasible on a large-scale (it's been tried successfully on small reserves such as Makalali) but the problem of finding and contracepting all/most of the animals in the wild and making sure that you've not contracepted the same animal twice in one period (major health issues for the animal) is almost impossible.

    18. Re:End game by agentgonzo · · Score: 1

      upset the balance of nature some other way etc. - it's a gamble with very many variables...

      The normal way that they upset the balance of nature is trampling lots of the ecosystem and eating so much of everything that it wipes out food/habitat for pretty much everything. If left to grow beyond a small number, they are detrimental to the ecosystem. And that's in areas where they are native. It could probably rid Australia of the acacias though (they love them)

    19. Re:End game by Chatsubo · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Poachers who care about licenses, you make me laugh.

      I live in Africa, putting a rhino on a piece of land almost transforms it into a war zone. International trade in ivory/rhino horn is a big deal, no mere legal red tape is going to stop these guys. Neither do they mind much if they have to shoot some rangers to get to the animals, and so the arms escalation begins...

      --
      > no, yes, maybe (tagging beta)
    20. Re:End game by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Not if the breeding stock comes from Sri Lanka where elephants hardly ever have tusks anyway.

    21. Re:End game by sunderland56 · · Score: 1

      New menu at Outback restaurants?

    22. Re:End game by TapeCutter · · Score: 1

      suddenly! flies everywhere

      More flies!!! - I'm going to need a machete to go outside.

      --
      And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
    23. Re:End game by wisty · · Score: 4, Informative

      In Australia, the police and customs are much more effective. It's also really hard to get assault guns, so gangs tend to be massively outgunned by the authorities. We had some locally made "Owen Guns" (WWII carbines) getting made in an illegal factory in 2004; that's how starved our gangs are for hardware. Even the "good" African countries will have trouble, because gangs will be able to smuggle guns and ivory across land boarders to and from the "bad" countries.

    24. Re:End game by quenda · · Score: 1

      Getting a license for something that can kill an elephant in aus, you make me laugh.

      She'll be right mate. Professional hunters can use semi-automatics. It is only machine guns and rocket launchers that are illegal.

    25. Re:End game by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Why don't they hire Godaddy's CEO to "self defense" the elephants under control?

    26. Re:End game by Muros · · Score: 2

      If the plan is to have an available breeding stock that does not breed, sterilizing most of the males is a viable strategy.

    27. Re:End game by Oswald+McWeany · · Score: 1

      Kittens are an invasive species that need to be eaten.

      Seriously- cats have caused mega-damage in Australia wiping out many species of ground birds. If the elephants eat the cats (not native to Australia) it can only be a good thing.

      Although- if the elephants eat the cats- the invasive species "mice/rats" will scare the elephants into the ocean to swim back to Africa/Asia- which will allow the cat population to boom again.

      --
      "That's the way to do it" - Punch
    28. Re:End game by Rogerborg · · Score: 0

      Elephants are rapists and rhinos are racists (white, black, can't you guys get along?). But srsly, they're just bigger cows, they're not some magical spirit totem beasts. The world will keep turning without them; there's nothing inherently meritorious about the particular crop of megafauna that we've got right now.

      --
      If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
    29. Re:End game by sycodon · · Score: 5, Funny

      They taste like Bald Eagles, which taste quite a bit like the Spotted Owls.

      --
      When Fascism comes to America, it will call itself Anti-Fascism, and tell you to give up your guns.
    30. Re:End game by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No semi-automatic rifles only pistols. That's how fucked up it is.

    31. Re:End game by jemtallon · · Score: 3, Insightful

      But how difficult is it to rent the equipment necessary to dig a spike-filled pit? Riddle me that, mr smart-guy.

      ...yeah. That's what I thought!

      *flexes his mind muscle*

    32. Re:End game by quenda · · Score: 1

      No semi-automatic rifles only pistols. That's how fucked up it is.

      That applies to recreational hunters, not professionals.
      Too hard to kill a deer or kangaroo with a bolt-action?

    33. Re:End game by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      When I read the headline, I assumed they were bringing in the elephants to squash the cane toads... do the toads also live in the invasive grasses?

    34. Re:End game by s1lentslayer · · Score: 2

      I seem to remember a certain Park of the Jurassic nature that had all females. "Life will find a way."

    35. Re:End game by confused+one · · Score: 1

      I thought single shot and bolt action were allowed for recreational hunters... Or are you implying you can't get a sufficiently lethal caliber?

    36. Re:End game by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No - it's Australia... the flies will be uber-poisonous just like much of the other wildlife there.

    37. Re:End game by Sifonki · · Score: 1

      It is rumored that to prevent pouching, David Bowman has suggested the elephants, when not grazing, could be kept in some sort of "pod bay", as he calls it, which could only be accessed through doors controlled by a computer with advanced AI.

    38. Re:End game by jbeaupre · · Score: 4, Funny

      Are elephant germs really that dangerous?

      --
      The world is made by those who show up for the job.
    39. Re:End game by Dexter+Herbivore · · Score: 2

      Pity that corrupt members of the ADF have been selling arms.

    40. Re:End game by mcgrew · · Score: 1

      They're far more than "bigger cows". The Thais built their civilization with elephants, using them like we use bulldozers and other heavy equipment. Not surprisingly, elephants ARE revered there, for their ancient utility.

    41. Re:End game by wiedzmin · · Score: 1

      Asian ivory import market.

      --
      Bow before me, for I am root.
    42. Re:End game by neonKow · · Score: 1

      1. Where does it say that?
      2. How does that help conserve elephants and rhinos? Isn't that like using whale meat to feed endangered tigers?

    43. Re:End game by Shotgun · · Score: 1

      Dude, have you seen the size of those things!?

      --
      Aah, change is good. -- Rafiki
      Yeah, but it ain't easy. -- Simba
    44. Re:End game by lvxferre · · Score: 1

      There's already an invasive species in Australia that can hunt down elephants: humans.

      --
      Nerdy news for your nerdy needs? http://www.soylentnews.org Soylent News is people!
    45. Re:End game by plopez · · Score: 2, Funny

      I prefer "Long Pig". There's lots and plenty of them! The tasiest most tender ones are cubicle workers (esp. IT workers) and truck drivers, neither of which are missed when they disappear. Nice and tender like veal. Stay away from construction workers, too stringy. Besides, I never liked Mexican food.

      --
      putting the 'B' in LGBTQ+
    46. Re:End game by plopez · · Score: 1

      Oooops! did I really post that? I'm joking! I'm joking!

      --
      putting the 'B' in LGBTQ+
    47. Re:End game by rubycodez · · Score: 1

      I've always found them rather like large eyelashed doe-eyed clubbed to death baby seals, myself.

    48. Re:End game by rubycodez · · Score: 1

      indeed, magazine capacity not an issue for competent hunter, big game calibers are used in single shot or double barrelled rifles. the 460 or 700 nitro express can take out any land creature.

    49. Re:End game by viperidaenz · · Score: 1

      and if there were giant bulls, they would have used them too

    50. Re:End game by bware · · Score: 1

      Baby seal tastes like...

      baby seal. Really. Tastes like nothing else. And adult seal is too stringy to eat.

    51. Re:End game by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      But only with prostetic trunks.

    52. Re:End game by dbIII · · Score: 1

      A co-worker legally had a 1" calibre smoothbore that was a sort of "Brown Bess" musket replica only unlike the original it was breech loading with cartridges that he made out of 1" brass tube. That sounds like a lethal caliber to me.

    53. Re:End game by Rik+Rohl · · Score: 1

      yup, but finding an autoclave big enough is a major problem...

    54. Re:End game by sd4f · · Score: 1

      Right, so the gangs are importing heaps and heaps of drugs, and evading detections, yet, bringing in illegal firearms seems to be a difficulty for them. The gangs have no shortage of illegal firearms. There have been a few factories producing weapons, but a lot of them, i would presume come through the same avenues that drugs do.

    55. Re:End game by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      ...the problem of finding and contracepting all/most of the [elephants] in the wild and making sure that you've not contracepted the same [elephant] twice in one period (major health issues for the animal) is almost impossible.

      I don't know about those park rangers but I'm sure I'd remember every single elephant I put a condom on.

    56. Re:End game by No+Tears+In+The+End · · Score: 1

      It's also really hard to get assault guns, so gangs tend to be massively outgunned by the authorities.

      You don't understand the issue. It's not an AK-47 or an M4 that you hunt an elephant or a rhino with. Those bullets are far too small and have too little kinetic energy to reliably take down the animal. You get something BIG and because you don't want to get too close, you get something accurate at a reasonable range. I can't speak from personal experience, because I have only hunted North American land game but I'm thinking .338 or bigger. You're not going to find that in an assault rifle.

      I have no idea what Australia's gun laws are like, but I can only assume that there are some hunting arms allowed. That's what a poacher would use.

      NTITE

      --

      -You can cry, but you'll still die. There'll be no tears in the end.
    57. Re:End game by rufty_tufty · · Score: 1

      There you are very wrong.
      There's a reason the african plains are plains and not forests. The acacia trees would quite hapily take over the plains if it were not for creatures like elephants. The life cycle roughtly goes:
      1) open plain with lots of grass that supports roaming animals.
      2) a few acacia seeds arrive and you get the odd bush. Most animals can't eat them because they are so thorny. A nimber of species though depend on their adaptations that llow them to eat between the thorns.
      3) Bush grows into a tall tree, animals like giraffes come along and eat the top leaves that aren't as thorny.
      4) lots of trees now in the area, it's almost a forest.
      5) elephants come along, use their strength to push the trees down, literally snapping the trunk so they can eat the leaves at the top. They eat pretty much everything there.
      6) forest is now destroyed, wood rots down to be new soil, area reverts to plains as grass moves back in.
      Cows cannot topple trees, elephants are very special and essential to the wildlife.
      Now without elephants you might have a new african rainforest or a something else, but you wouldn't have africa like we know it.

      --
      "The weirdest thing about a mind, is that every answer that you find, is the basis of a brand new cliche" -
    58. Re:End game by mcgrew · · Score: 1

      What made the elephant special was its trunk as much as its size. Plus, have you ever tried to train a bull? Elephants are extremely intelligent.

    59. Re:End game by viperidaenz · · Score: 1

      and their ivory makes good piano keys...

    60. Re:End game by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Baby seal tastes like...

      baby seal. Really. Tastes like nothing else.

      Poached whale oil comes pretty close.

  3. I Don't Know Why We Swallowed The Fly by SQL+Error · · Score: 3, Funny

    Perhaps we'll die...

    1. Re:I Don't Know Why We Swallowed The Fly by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I don't know why she swallowed the elephant.

      But that's not relevant.

  4. Elephant Proof Fence by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    So there was this fence that was supposed to prevent the plague of rabbits from crossing the country. I don't think it worked. I'm having this vision of a future with an Elephant proof fence. Somehow the idea appeals.

    1. Re:Elephant Proof Fence by SuricouRaven · · Score: 1

      Myxomatosis did the job very well though.

    2. Re:Elephant Proof Fence by Hognoxious · · Score: 2

      No it didn't.

      --
      Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
    3. Re:Elephant Proof Fence by jamesh · · Score: 1

      Yes it did. It didn't do the job perfectly, but the rabbit population has never returned to what it was pre-myxomatosis.

    4. Re:Elephant Proof Fence by norpy · · Score: 2

      Yes it did, it just didn't do it completely - and the remaining population has now been selected for resistance.

      It's the exact same problem we have with antibiotics

    5. Re:Elephant Proof Fence by nospam007 · · Score: 3, Informative

      "Yes it did. It didn't do the job perfectly, but the rabbit population has never returned to what it was pre-myxomatosis."

      Exactly, it worked even here in Europe and we had no problems in the first place.
      A french moron wanted to get rid of the rabbits on his property and infected _2_ of them.
      Now all of Europe has almost none left.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myxomatosis

    6. Re:Elephant Proof Fence by MrKaos · · Score: 1

      Yes it did, it just didn't do it completely - and the remaining population has now been selected for resistance.

      It's the exact same problem we have with antibiotics

      Yeah, but at least the aboriginals finally thought the white man did something right for a change. Now foxes,,,,,,uuurrh foxes

      --
      My ism, it's full of beliefs.
    7. Re:Elephant Proof Fence by TapeCutter · · Score: 1

      You are right, I saw a rabbit plague first hand as a kid in the 60's.

      --
      And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
    8. Re:Elephant Proof Fence by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Hardly, rabbit population numbers in Australia are back up to their old level... and are now myxomatosis resistant!

    9. Re:Elephant Proof Fence by OhHellWithIt · · Score: 1

      Interesting to read in the Wikipedia article that the Aussies didn't learn from their previous experience and introduced another rabbit viruse in 1996. I wonder what they'll do 80-some years from now, when the rabbits are still around and unaffected by both diseases.

      --
      "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." -- George Orwell
    10. Re:Elephant Proof Fence by neonKow · · Score: 1

      I wouldn't consider either of those cases "working."

    11. Re:Elephant Proof Fence by jamesh · · Score: 1

      I wonder what they'll do 80-some years from now, when the rabbits are still around and unaffected by both diseases.

      Well... in Australia we're 60 years on from the introduction of it and we still get waves of Myxomatosis that wipe just about all the rabbits out. First there are lots of rabbits, then there are lots of very sick rabbits, then there seem to be hardly any. The ones that survive are obviously the ones with immunity but that seems to wear off after multiple generations and another wave comes around and wipes them all out again.

      Maybe it will be different in another 80 years but I don't really see why it would be.

  5. Invasive species by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    This is why I put a mongoose in my mailbox to get rid of the snakes. Now if I could only figure out why I have snakes in my mailbox.

    1. Re:Invasive species by Ol+Biscuitbarrel · · Score: 2

      Are you getting sick and tired of them?

  6. I'm warning you ... by tdelaney · · Score: 0

    It'll be cane toads all over again ...

  7. Alternatives? by flyneye · · Score: 1, Insightful

    How about cutting and baling the grass? Process it for feed or fuel. Use it in lieu of paper in insulating concrete.Maybe the Aborigines can find a use for it. Once you've mown it and can access the roots, THEN whip out a jug of Roundup. What really is the problem here? Lack of imagination? Will it distill into alcohol with a bit of sugar? Is there an industrial furnace powering anything anywhere near? Are we really scared of the mean ol zombie grass slowly moving this way? I think someone just wants to be a drama queen about this....

    --
    *Repent!Quit Your Job!Slack Off!The World Ends Tomorrow and You May Die!
    1. Re:Alternatives? by robbak · · Score: 4, Insightful

      You've obviously never been to australia. Hint - it's very big.

      --
      Prediction for end of Universe #42: Fencepost error in Quantum_bogosort.cpp
    2. Re:Alternatives? by Talderas · · Score: 1

      I am intrigued by your concept of zombie grass. Please write up a report on it and submit it to my desk before 3pm so that I may review it for further defense funding.

      --
      "Lack of speed can be overcome. In the worst case by patience." --Znork
    3. Re:Alternatives? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      I don't think you understand geographical scale in Australia. Let me explain. The distance between the city of Perth and the closest city is 2695 kilometers [or about 1,675 miles]. (If you don't beleive me check out http://www.travelaroundaustralia.com/travelling-around-australia.html) There are no cities on the way [and only one biggish town]. The distance from Adelaide to Darwin [right through the middle of Austalia] is 1,881 miles - with zero cities and not even any big towns on the way. These two driving routes have only 1 possible road. In between there is milions of square miles of extremely sparsely populated (if populated at all) desert. Most of this grass would be growing in areas that are hundreds of miles from the nearest surfaced road that doesn't require 4 wheel drives and serious survival gear to drive on. There is no way to get the stuff to market even if you could find a use for it. And there is lots and lots of it. To give you a sense of the size of the problem - There was a grass fire the size of tasmania last year [see article at http://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2012/02/02/3420810.htm]. Tasmania is 26 409 square miles.

    4. Re:Alternatives? by JTsyo · · Score: 1

      well it is a continent.

    5. Re:Alternatives? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Roundup? Yes, pesticides are the answer. Ughh.

    6. Re:Alternatives? by TapeCutter · · Score: 1

      What really is the problem here?

      Scale.

      --
      And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
    7. Re:Alternatives? by Reverand+Dave · · Score: 1

      Wow, I guess I never realized how desolate and sparsely populated that place was. How do you live there and not just kill yourselves?

      --
      I got here through a series of tubes
    8. Re:Alternatives? by Grishnakh · · Score: 1

      They don't, they all live in the big cities clustered on the southeast coast, and the rest live in the one big city on the west coast.

      It's similar to the continental USA, only more extreme: 2/3 of the US population lives east of the Mississippi river (with a large number of those living in the "northeast corridor" cities of NYC, Philly, Boston, DC etc. and the vicinity), a large number of the west live on the west coast in California (plus Portland and Seattle), and there's vast areas of unpopulated land in the western states of Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Utah, Wyoming, and Montana. But probably not as unpopulated and inaccessible as the vast unpopulated areas of Australia.

      And then of course there's Alaska, where there's a small population living in a couple of coastal areas, and the rest of the state is pretty much uninhabited because it's largely tundra or glaciated.

    9. Re:Alternatives? by Reverand+Dave · · Score: 1

      There are cities large and small dotting the whole of the US country. You're may have to drive a few hours between large metropolitan areas, but there aren't vast area's of nothingness like in Australia. It would be kind of nice if there were a few here, but instead the entirely unlivable areas here are populated with mormons and hillbillies like Utah, Arizona, and Wyoming.

      --
      I got here through a series of tubes
    10. Re:Alternatives? by Grishnakh · · Score: 1

      As I said in a sister post, it's similar but more extreme in Australia. There are indeed vast areas of nothingness here in the USA, such as middle of Nevada. There's a reason Area 51 is located there. Most of Alaska is also a vast area of nothingness.

      But yes, even in our very unpopulated areas, there do tend to be some small towns here and there, so it's not as extreme as Australia. Except in Alaska.

    11. Re:Alternatives? by flyneye · · Score: 1

      Use a really big mower. Round up a busload of able bodies drawing whatever social welfare benefits you guys have over there. Give them weed whips, mowers, tractors, balers, whatever seems to be appropriate. It'll make them feel they have some value again.

      --
      *Repent!Quit Your Job!Slack Off!The World Ends Tomorrow and You May Die!
    12. Re:Alternatives? by flyneye · · Score: 1

      Uhmmm Roundup makes herbicide on the shelves I've looked at. You gonna have a bug roundup?

      --
      *Repent!Quit Your Job!Slack Off!The World Ends Tomorrow and You May Die!
    13. Re:Alternatives? by flyneye · · Score: 1

      See above comments about using social welfare sponges to keep the grass mown back so it doesn't keep going to seed at the edges, thus not growing further.
      Not only will it justify the funds poured into the able bodies among reciprocants , but it will make them feel like a working part of society again, with some self esteem.
      It will have the added benefit of keeping them out of town for a bit and dropping the crime rate. "Idle hands are tools of the Devil" LOL!
      It honestly isn't whether you actually clear the grass, although that would be nice. But it will keep it from advancing further until someone can find some industrial use for it.
            Just taking a shot at a solution. Cheers!

      --
      *Repent!Quit Your Job!Slack Off!The World Ends Tomorrow and You May Die!
    14. Re:Alternatives? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yes - extreme - imagine driving at 65 miles an hour for 10 hours per day for two and a half days - to get from Perth to the closest city Adelaide. Along the way you'll spend about 6 of those hours driving through the nullabor plain [where they filmed "Mad Max"]. Another 10-12 hours of the trip would be spent driving through country that has trees - but is [still] very dry and arid [inadequate for pretty much any kind of farming]. Have a look at street view eyre highway on the nullabor [http://maps.google.com.au/maps/myplaces?ll=-32.351932,124.821848&spn=0.001792,0.002411&ctz=-480&t=h&z=19]

    15. Re:Alternatives? by Grishnakh · · Score: 1

      I just have one question here: why would you drive only 65mph for a trip that long? Even here in the US where there's generally small towns here and there to break up the monotony (and refuel), in our western states the speed limit is usually 75mph, and in practice everyone drives 80-85mph in the rural parts. Speeding up to only 75mph will shave a nice 3.33 hours off your trip. Going 80 will shave off 4.69 hours, and 85 will save you 5.88 hours. Surely they don't have speed traps out in those areas? And surely they don't restrict the speeds to such low numbers?

  8. Déjà vu? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Ammm... we tried this before with Cane Toads... that didn't work out so well. At least elephants are cuter (and tastier).

  9. or rabbits, by Zemran · · Score: 4, Funny

    yes rabbits would be a good idea. They are smaller and cuter than elephants and they eat grass as well...

    --
    I love stacking my barbecues in the shed at the end of summer - you can't beat a bit of grill on grill action.
    1. Re:or rabbits, by sirdude · · Score: 1
      You certainly sound like you know your weed.

      P.S. *whoosh*

    2. Re:or rabbits, by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      (no study was yet to carried out to test if it could jump spices).

      it's always about the spice, isn't it?

      (captcha: incense)

    3. Re:or rabbits, by Sinn3d · · Score: 1

      Don't worry about the rabbits can be easily taken out, just release some ferrets and polecats, they will take em out in no time...

    4. Re:or rabbits, by atisss · · Score: 1
    5. Re:or rabbits, by Half-pint+HAL · · Score: 1

      I'd be worried the polecats might harm the native Cane Toad population....

      --
      Got them moderator blues I blieve I walk out the do', With these mod-points I been gettin', I 'most never post no mo'
  10. Gamba Grass was intentionally introduced ... by sirdude · · Score: 5, Informative

    Gamba grass first appeared under cultivation in Queensland in 1942 and trials and plantings in the Northern Territory occurred as early as 1931. It was bred as an improved pasture species and sold by seed merchants. Gamba grass has adapted extremely well to the seasonal droughts, fires and low-nutrient soils of Australia’s savannas.

    From here [PDF].

    1. Re:Gamba Grass was intentionally introduced ... by HBI · · Score: 5, Funny

      FFS who would name a plant something like Andropogon gayanus ?

      --
      HBI's Law: Frequency of calling others Nazis is directly correlated with the likelihood of the accuser being Communist.
  11. And as an added bonus... by Phoenix · · Score: 3, Funny

    The elephants can be used to stomp on the caine toads.

    --
    -- Wiccan Army, 13th Airborne Division "We will not fly silently into the night"
    1. Re:And as an added bonus... by sirdude · · Score: 3, Funny

      One stomp too many and those Caines will surely turn mutinous.

    2. Re:And as an added bonus... by martin-boundary · · Score: 1
      Don't do that! In Australia, the Caine Toads are sacred. Australians believe that when you die, you get reborn as an Amphibian.

      If you look at some of the Google Street View photos, you can see Aussie kids picking up toads like a phone and licking them. It's actually a pretty handy way to ask your great-grandmother for her special Pavlova cake recipe, just before the guests arrive for the BBQ.

    3. Re:And as an added bonus... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      If you look at some of the Google Street View photos, you can see Aussie kids picking up toads like a phone and licking them. It's actually a pretty handy way to ask your great-grandmother for her special Pavlova cake recipe, just before the guests arrive for the BBQ.

      I think you've had too much toad. Try sniffing petrol or glue instead, a bit of variety.

  12. That really depends... by captainpanic · · Score: 5, Funny

    [...]they're not exactly small and hard to spot. [...]

    If they wear red socks, and hide in a strawberry patch, they're quite hard to spot!

    1. Re:That really depends... by MrKaos · · Score: 1

      [...]they're not exactly small and hard to spot. [...]

      If they wear red socks, and hide in a strawberry patch, they're quite hard to spot!

      They leave footprints in the butters

      --
      My ism, it's full of beliefs.
    2. Re:That really depends... by Kjella · · Score: 1

      Heh, reminds me of this one...

      Q: How do you know an elephant is hiding under your bed?
      A: Your nose is touching the ceiling....

      --
      Live today, because you never know what tomorrow brings
    3. Re:That really depends... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      If they paint their toenails red they can hide in cherry trees!

    4. Re:That really depends... by wisty · · Score: 1

      Q: What do you do if an elephant comes through your window?

      A: Swim!

    5. Re:That really depends... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Paint their testicles red and they can hide in the apple trees

  13. And then the elephants become the invasive species by rollingcalf · · Score: 0

    Bringing in one species to eliminate another tends to result in the newly introduced species becoming the invasive one.

    --
    ---------
    There is inferior bacteria on the interior of your posterior.
  14. But... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    But, who will eat the elephants ?

    1. Re:But... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      OK, since I've posted, I've got a brilliant idea: control the elephants by introducing mice!

    2. Re:But... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      yeah, nah, we got mice covered:

      youtube.com/watch?v=r3RLmErp43k

  15. Need more dangerous animals by RogueyWon · · Score: 2

    I thought the whole "Got a problem with invasive species x? Import invasive species y!" schtick had gone wrong so many times over the years that there would be more caution about it now.

    What are they going to import in 30 years time to deal with the plague of elephants? My vote's for genetically modified, cybernetically enhanced fire-breating giant battle-centipedes. What could possibly go wrong?

    Or maybe the attraction is that elephants can actually be extremely dangerous to humans. Australia just doesn't have enough animals like that, right?

    1. Re:Need more dangerous animals by Kierthos · · Score: 5, Informative

      Let's see. The gestation period of an elephant is 21-23 months. The interval between calves is as much as five years. And female elephants generally don't even begin reproducing until they are 12-14 years old.

      I somehow doubt there will be a plague of elephants. What I imagine would happen is a lot of poached elephants.

      --
      Mr. Hu is not a ninja.
    2. Re:Need more dangerous animals by Stormthirst · · Score: 1

      What are they going to import? 50 cal hunting rifles.

      There's a reason why Elephants are a endangered species in Africa - they don't breed very quickly. If you allow the locals to keep the tusks (ie no imports or exports), I imagine they'd be wiped out pretty quickly.

    3. Re:Need more dangerous animals by tdelaney · · Score: 5, Funny

      What I imagine would happen is a lot of poached elephants.

      Nah - the traditional method is to barbeque them.

    4. Re:Need more dangerous animals by Kierthos · · Score: 1

      Well played, sir.

      However, throw another elephant on the barbie.... wow... think of the structural engineering that would require.

      --
      Mr. Hu is not a ninja.
    5. Re:Need more dangerous animals by agentgonzo · · Score: 1

      Tell that to Kruger park. It's big enough to sustainable support about 8,000 elephants (carrying capacity) but has over 20,000 now and rising dramatically.

    6. Re:Need more dangerous animals by agentgonzo · · Score: 1

      No, the reason that they're endangered is because they have ivory and got hunted to the brink of extinction. That combined with the fact that they are pushed away from human habitation so areas they can live are being reduced.

    7. Re:Need more dangerous animals by Gilmoure · · Score: 1

      Texans would be jealous and calling for introduction of elephants over here.

      --
      I drank what? -- Socrates
    8. Re:Need more dangerous animals by backwardsposter · · Score: 1

      It's Australia, so the international council of stereotypes says you must fix this.

      Nah - the traditional method is the barbie.

      As in, "I'll slip an extra 'phant on the barbie for you."

    9. Re:Need more dangerous animals by Shotgun · · Score: 1

      So? Make the poaching legal and start selling the ivory to support the park. Where's the problem? If humans don't kill about 12,000 of them, eventually overpopulation will.

      --
      Aah, change is good. -- Rafiki
      Yeah, but it ain't easy. -- Simba
    10. Re:Need more dangerous animals by lvxferre · · Score: 1

      Ow, 'great'. Now I'm hungry. It's your all fault.

      --
      Nerdy news for your nerdy needs? http://www.soylentnews.org Soylent News is people!
    11. Re:Need more dangerous animals by Belial6 · · Score: 1

      Might I suggest hunters and ivory dealers? You don't even have to import them. They are already there and have just not exhibited the traits you are looking for yet.

    12. Re:Need more dangerous animals by tdelaney · · Score: 1

      You're right, it was late ... I slipped.

    13. Re:Need more dangerous animals by dewatf · · Score: 1

      I thought the whole "Got a problem with invasive species x? Import invasive species y!" schtick had gone wrong so many times over the years that there would be more caution about it now.



      Actually there is whole new movement in Ecology devoted to the idea. Emma Marris is a leading promoter of it:
      http://www.emmamarris.com/rambunctious-garden/

      Getting tired of discussing habitat degradation and arguing that there are few untouched wildernesses anymore they have started constructing hypothetical ecosystems that may be more stable and an improvement on current ecosystems which have lost important species or become unbalanced by introduced species. So far it is mostly just conference papers but there have been a few projects. There has been a big game ecosystem created in a park in Holland, large domestic horned cattle were introduced to wilderness area in Europe to replace the wild cattle that humans wiped out ages ago and wolves have been reintroduced to national parks in North America to control deer, caribou and bison.

      Introducing elephants to the tropical grass lands of Northern Australia is purely hypothetical and never going to happen.
    14. Re:Need more dangerous animals by evilviper · · Score: 1

      What are they going to import in 30 years time to deal with the plague of elephants?

      ...repeal the ban on Ivory sales. Problem solves itself in RECORD TIME.

      --
      Slashdot gets worse every day... Pipedot: News for nerds, without the corporate slant
  16. And sharks by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    with lasers!

    1. Re:And sharks by MrKaos · · Score: 1

      with lasers!

      Don't talk about sharks this season. Even if you dared going into the abnormally cold water this summer chances are a shark would discover that humans don't taste very good after sampling your leg...

      --
      My ism, it's full of beliefs.
  17. how about more people? by Karmashock · · Score: 1

    Rather then fill the outback with yet another untested and likely useless species. Why don't they just put more people out there?

    Build a few more cities or towns... expand... tame the wilderness. If people actually live out there then any undesired species isn't going to last very long.

    --
    I've decided to stop wasting my time responding to AC trolls/sockpuppets... so if you want a response from me... login.
    1. Re:how about more people? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Rather then fill the outback with yet another untested and likely useless species, why don't they just put more people out there?

      Wait.. having fixed punctiation, isn't this statement self-contradicting?

    2. Re:how about more people? by JasterBobaMereel · · Score: 3, Informative

      Have you been to Australia?

      The majority of people live in big sprawling cities by the coast, for the reason that the rest of the country is an arid desert ...

      Any city built inland would run out of water very quickly .... Imagine Las Vegas, but without a water supply ...

      --
      Puteulanus fenestra mortis
    3. Re:how about more people? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You're absolutely brilliant. Instead of introducing a species that will have severe problems growing let alone thriving, you want to introduce humans. A species that replicates and is more destructive than swarms of locusts. Pure genius ...

    4. Re:how about more people? by oldunixgeek · · Score: 1

      People are the ultimate invasive species. Even Antarctica can't get rid of em.

    5. Re:how about more people? by MrKaos · · Score: 1

      Rather then fill the outback with yet another untested and likely useless species. Why don't they just put more people out there?

      Build a few more cities or towns... expand... tame the wilderness. If people actually live out there then any undesired species isn't going to last very long.

      And during the day people can go to the petrol station and see if any of the numbers have changed...

      --
      My ism, it's full of beliefs.
    6. Re:how about more people? by Karmashock · · Score: 1

      I'm well aware of it's serious water issues... there are ways to get more water. It's a big topic but suffice to say there are a lot of options.

      --
      I've decided to stop wasting my time responding to AC trolls/sockpuppets... so if you want a response from me... login.
    7. Re:how about more people? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Australians dont drink water anyway!

    8. Re:how about more people? by ghostdoc · · Score: 1

      do you want to live in a desert, or near the beach?

      If they'd stop fly-in-fly-out and force the miners to live locally we might have a chance, but that would mean revoking the Fringe Benefits Tax, and convincing pollies to rescind a tax is really hard

      --
      Business/App ideas are like arseholes: everyone's got one, they're mostly shit, but very rarely they contain a diamond
    9. Re:how about more people? by neonKow · · Score: 1

      That's still just Las Vegas.

    10. Re:how about more people? by Grishnakh · · Score: 1

      Why the hell would anyone want to live in an arid desert? Especially if the true cost of living there is forcibly paid by the inhabitants by taxing them heavily to pay for the giant water pipelines that'd be needed to supply them, and also for all the roads and other infrastructure that'd be needed to keep them alive, and for what? People move to nice, temperate, coastal regions for a good reason.

      Where do you live? If it's not out in the middle of the Nevada desert (well away from Vegas and its convenient water and electric power supply named Lake Mead and the Colorado River), then you're a hypocrite.

    11. Re:how about more people? by yurtinus · · Score: 1

      Get more water from where? Pipe it in? Desalinate the few salt lakes that exist out in the desert? In the desert, water isn't just some resource you can dig up. It is limited, it is valuable, and people use a *lot* of it. Sure, there are ways to get more water - but they are expensive and usually quite devastating to the natural habitat (unless you want to get *really* expensive). Fact is, people are not going to live in an expensive (and unpleasant) place out in the middle of nowhere if there isn't a reason to. Towns need a reason to exist, and taming an invasive grass really doesn't cut it.

      --
      +1 Disagree
    12. Re:how about more people? by Karmashock · · Score: 1

      do people live in Arizona? How about new Mexico? What about Nevada?

      Come now... why am I always the one playing devil's advocate.

      before you make an argument think of why it might be wrong.

      Look at the middle east. Lots of people live in deserts. All you need is enough water for crops and the humans. It's not that much especially if you focus on low water crops. If you're growing rice or something out there then you're screwed. Corn however has pretty reasonable water needs. There are other alternatives. Staple crops are the only real requirement. Technically everything can probably be imported but costs will be a lot lower if you can at least grow your primary source of calories.

      --
      I've decided to stop wasting my time responding to AC trolls/sockpuppets... so if you want a response from me... login.
    13. Re:how about more people? by Karmashock · · Score: 1

      wow... You're the second person that doesn't realize there are major cities in deserts throughout the US. Also much of the middle east is pretty arid and yet people live quiet comfortably there when they're not busy killing each other.

      As to the cost of pumping in water... there's plenty of water in Australia and even more in Tasmania. They have lots of options.

      I cite Tasmania because it's my favorite idea... I like the audacity of it... here's the link:
      http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/south-australia/bid-to-pipe-in-tasmanian-water/story-e6frea83-1111116947256

      The project is entirely reasonable for its scale. Think hoover dam. It's a big project but the reward is so large that it doesn't matter.

      --
      I've decided to stop wasting my time responding to AC trolls/sockpuppets... so if you want a response from me... login.
    14. Re:how about more people? by Karmashock · · Score: 1

      I come from the western United States and my family was involved with farming for a few generations... I know what scarce water means.

      I also know that not all water in Australia is tapped for drinking and agriculture. I'm not suggesting that the middle of the country be made to bloom with vegetation. I am suggesting you can build small to medium sized communities throughout the area. It will require a keen attention to water resources but it's all workable if water isn't wasted. Obviously in many of these places you're not going to be able to have lawns. At least not with subsidized municipal water. If someone wants to truck water in from somewhere else on their own dime to water their lawn that's their own business.

      --
      I've decided to stop wasting my time responding to AC trolls/sockpuppets... so if you want a response from me... login.
    15. Re:how about more people? by c0lo · · Score: 1

      You still need water to brew beer.

      --
      Questions raise, answers kill. Raise questions to stay alive.
    16. Re:how about more people? by Grishnakh · · Score: 1

      I live in one of those cities: Phoenix. It only exists because there's nearby rivers that we get our water from. Same goes for Vegas and Los Angeles (people can't drink saltwater, so LA gets its water from the Colorado just like we do; consequently, the river is almost dry because there's too many people).

      As I understand it, there's no water in most of central Australia. Tasmania is a long way from there. If you're going to put people somewhere, you need a source of freshwater, and that usually means a river. The rivers here in the southwest are pretty much tapped out, and part of the reason so many Mexicans are coming up here is because we've tapped out the Colorado, leaving northern Mexico with no water and a big drought, making farming there impossible, so they're coming up here. If it were easy to pipe in more water, lots of places would be doing it.

    17. Re:how about more people? by Karmashock · · Score: 1

      LA gets water from all over the south east. We largely bankrolled Hoover Dam which is one of the reasons we such a choice cut of the water. We also piped water in from all over the region... going over mountains and through valleys.

      There is water in Australia... it's just mostly running out into the ocean.

      When every river is just a trickle by the time it reaches the ocean... then you can claim they're out of water. And in the meantime, separate your water out into drinking water, gray water, and waste water. If you're really low then there's no reason to be wasteful.

      None of this is actually that expensive. For every one of these water projects you should be able to get new growth that will off set whatever the costs were to build the project.

      It's going to take some big brass balls engineering projects but on a per capita basis the costs are going to be minor.

      --
      I've decided to stop wasting my time responding to AC trolls/sockpuppets... so if you want a response from me... login.
    18. Re:how about more people? by NoMaster · · Score: 2

      Australia isn't like the US, which is criss-crossed with rivers even in the desert areas.

      The rivers on the east coast, where the population is? Mostly too short/small to even appear on that map.

      The north & north-west? Not desert.

      Pretty much everything west of the Murray-Darling? Desert. The ones marked 51-57 on the map are seasonal, and flow only every few years.

      Much of central-southern NSW, between the coast & the Murray-Darling? Already irrigated through "water [piped] in from all over the region... going over mountains and through valleys". Or, more correctly, "piped through mountains".

      The Murray-Darling itself? It already mostly is "just a trickle by the time it reaches the ocean". Without the 2 dredging machines that run 24/7, the mouth of the river would close up and cut it off from the sea.

      Despite having an area very similar to the 48 contiguous US states, Australia has ~50% more desert area (1,350,000km^2 vs 900,000km^2) and much much much less water.

      So, no, there's not much water in Australia. It's not considered "the driest continent on earth" for no reason...

      --
      What part of "a well regulated militia" do you not understand?
    19. Re:how about more people? by JasterBobaMereel · · Score: 1

      Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada - Have a surprising large amount of water, or have it piped in, and quite low populations

      The Middle east, had very low disbursed populations, except where water was available, now the few cities have very expensive desalination plants paid for by oil money ...

      Australia has a vast centre with low to no rainfall, that supported an extremely disbursed population, and can and does support small scattered communities, but there is no way of building large communities without water...

      The amount of water available in central Australia is very low, you don't get scrub, and trees, you get true desert vegetation ... crops are not an option ...

      --
      Puteulanus fenestra mortis
  18. Re:And then the elephants become the invasive spec by AlecC · · Score: 1

    Except that I don't think it would be too hard to control, or even wipe out, the elephants. They are not little critters that hide in holes, and they have a slow reproductive rate, unlike rabbits which breed...

    --
    Consciousness is an illusion caused by an excess of self consciousness.
  19. Why all the bother? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    There is a natural, indiginous, carbon-neutral, fast, effective, efficient, cheap and fun way of dealing with this problem: Set fire to it.

    1. Re:Why all the bother? by Muad'Dave · · Score: 2

      To quote from the Aus gov't PDF on Gamba grass:

      Gamba grass is tolerant to fire at any time of the year.
      Burning gamba grass in the dry season can be hazardous
      to property, people and livestock due to the high fuel
      loads and height of the plants, which create an extremely
      intense fire.

      --
      Tiller's Rule: Never use a word in written form that you've only heard and never read. You will end up looking foolish.
  20. Sounds harmless enough, but... by jenningsthecat · · Score: 1

    ...I'm sure that gamba grass itself seemed harmless too when it was introduced to Australia as a pasture grass. Then there were Cane Toads, (also in Australia), Kudzu, and countless other examples.

    Given man's mobility and restlessness such occurrences are probably inevitable. At least this time the assertion that "this introduction could solve that problem" was accompanied by a note that careful monitoring would be required. So there's some effort being made to anticipate and mitigate the potential negative consequences of their solutions, but I suspect that effort could be both more strenuous and more anticipatory.

    --
    'The Economy' is a giant Ponzi scheme whose most pitiable suckers are the youngest among us and the yet-unborn.
    1. Re:Sounds harmless enough, but... by Gilmoure · · Score: 1

      Don't tell me about kudzu. I'm from Florida and have seen the lengths gone to to get rid of it. A construction company once dug up a tap root larger than a car in an effort to clear a 2 acre property of the stuff. Freakin' space alien stuff it is.

      --
      I drank what? -- Socrates
    2. Re:Sounds harmless enough, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      As others have said, megafauna don't really have that problem, for the simple fact that they're easy to find, they're a nuisance to humans, and they're profitable to kill (go ahead just try to make as much money hunting rabbits as elephants). Given those qualities the local ultra-predators (that would be us) find them nearly irresistible targets. And frankly, any creature that humans wish to prey on is only going to survive if it multiplies like rabbits or has legal help.

      Contrast that with problematic invasive animals: they tend to be small and fast-breeding. As for plants... well even if you somehow eradicate all the plants, the odds that you can get all the seeds approaches zero. So unless they're very slow to mature and there's an ongoing long-term eradication program you're pretty much SOL unless you import something else that kills it.

  21. Uhh, goats? by Hadlock · · Score: 1

    I mean, Elephants are f***ing awesome and all, big, giant things that knock over trees when they get mad, but goats are well proven to eat grass and other things (like briers) that most animals won't touch. They handle dry, arid climates well, and provide other useful things like, Milk, Cheese, Meat, and Pelts. If you pick angora goats you get fancy wool from them as well.
     
    Granted, you don't have the cool factor of big-ass elephants running around loose Down Under, but goats reproduce a lot faster and (I'm pretty sure) eat a higher percentage of their body weight in plant matter than elephants do. Humans also have a couple thousand years more experience dealing with goats.
     
    Some links to persue:
     
     

    --
    moox. for a new generation.
    1. Re:Uhh, goats? by JasterBobaMereel · · Score: 1

      The thing Australia is lacking that goats need is water ...

      The Elephants are few enough in number that it can be supplied, and they can be managed to only eat the invasive species, goats eat everything ...

      --
      Puteulanus fenestra mortis
    2. Re:Uhh, goats? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      There are so few people out there that this shouldn't be a problem. Seriously - very very very few.

    3. Re:Uhh, goats? by Hadlock · · Score: 1

      How do you train a 12 ton animal to only eat what you want it to?
       
      Waiting for some really good ex-wife jokes, slashdot, please don't dissapoint

      --
      moox. for a new generation.
    4. Re:Uhh, goats? by pehrs · · Score: 2

      ...I hope you are joking.

      Feral goats are a serious problem in Australia, along with so many other invasive animals and plants.

      A better link to look at would be this one:

      http://www.environment.gov.au/biodiversity/invasive/ferals/index.html

    5. Re:Uhh, goats? by Alicat1194 · · Score: 3, Informative

      I mean, Elephants are f***ing awesome and all, big, giant things that knock over trees when they get mad, but goats are well proven to eat grass and other things (like briers) that most animals won't touch. They handle dry, arid climates well, and provide other useful things like, Milk, Cheese, Meat, and Pelts. If you pick angora goats you get fancy wool from them as well.

      Been there, done that they went feral : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feral_goats_in_Australia. Though some farmers to make a fair living off mustering the ferals and then selling them for pelts and meat.

      --
      You can learn a lot about a person if you just take the time to inject them with sodium pentathol
    6. Re:Uhh, goats? by agentgonzo · · Score: 1

      "and (I'm pretty sure) eat a higher percentage of their body weight in plant matter than elephants do"

      Adult male elephant weighs 7 tons and eats 300kg of food per day (4.3%) Goat eats 4.5% of its bodyweight (http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_percent_of_body_weight_does_a_goat_eat_in_grass_per_day)

    7. Re:Uhh, goats? by Hadlock · · Score: 1

      Well if Goats were already a disaster, why do they think Elephants would be any better?

      --
      moox. for a new generation.
    8. Re:Uhh, goats? by CheeseyDJ · · Score: 1

      Been there, done that they went feral : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feral_goats_in_Australia. Though some farmers to make a fair living off mustering the ferals and then selling them for pelts and meat.

      If the Aussies' reaction to the feral goats is anything to go by, the sight of children racing on elephant chariots would be a suitable consolation.

    9. Re:Uhh, goats? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Easy, they're bigger. Also they breed slower so it's easier to get ahead of the exponential-growth curve, which is the real problem with invasive species.

      Seriously - ton-for-ton you get a lot fewer elephants. At a rough guess I'd say 1 elephant ~= 1 herd of goats in terms of ecological impact. Combine that with the fact that a herd of elephants isn't that much harder to take out than a herd of goats (and a *lot* easier than the equivalent dozen herds of goats) and you've got a *much* more manageable population. Honestly, can anyone name a single location anywhere on the planet where megafauna of any sort are thriving without legal protection?

    10. Re:Uhh, goats? by littlebigbot · · Score: 1

      My ex-wife is fat. That's the joke.

    11. Re:Uhh, goats? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Probably because elephants are large, easy to track, and have a *very slow* reproductive rate. Not to mention that the ivory factor implies the most likely failure mode for this experiment is that they will be hunted to local extinction.

      As far as introducing a foreign species into a biome goes, this is about as safe as it gets.

    12. Re:Uhh, goats? by Grishnakh · · Score: 1

      I dunno, but apparently people have been successfully training elephants to be beasts of burden for thousands of years; goats, OTOH, don't have a very good reputation for trainability.

    13. Re:Uhh, goats? by dbIII · · Score: 1

      The entire premise of the suggestion is that the ecosystem in some areas is so fucked that even bringing in elephants won't make it worse. I'm not really sure how serious it is or whether it's some elaborate justification of a joke, but I do know that it has stirred up a response from others that reject the entire premise.

    14. Re:Uhh, goats? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Spoken from a lofty perch of ignorance. Oz has plenty of wild goats.
      Also please don't recommend camels, pigs, deer, water buffalo or donkeys for the same reason

  22. Wrong by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    it's very big

    No. It is fricking HUGE. Bigger than several European countries. There are single *properties* here are bigger than some countries.

    So, when someone here says 'we have a widespread problem' - start thinking 'a problem the size of a several US states' ...

    Actually, the elephant idea is quite good.

    As for the other suggestion.. no. The aboriginals have no use for it.. or anything really. They drink^Wget their blood^Wdole money and are buggered^Whappy .. no use for the grass at all.. well, not this type of Grass anyway

    1. Re:Wrong by dkf · · Score: 1

      Bigger than several European countries.

      Doesn't count. Europe has some stupidly small countries, some of which are smaller than cities. Heck, some would fit in a good-sized shopping mall. Saying that Australia is bigger than that... well, no shit Sherlock.

      --
      "Little does he know, but there is no 'I' in 'Idiot'!"
    2. Re:Wrong by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      ok - let me expain it another way - there is a police district that is assigned three [count-em] THREE police-officers. The geographical size of this district is similar to that of France.

    3. Re:Wrong by Sique · · Score: 1

      Except that in France, on the same area three australian police men are patrolling, three times the inhabitants of the whole of Australia are living.

      (And if we start bragging about sizes, the Nordeast Greenland National Park is about 1.5 times the size of France, and there are only 31 people living there, of which 14 are members of the Slædepatruljen SIRIUS [sledge patrol SIRIUS]).

      --
      .sig: Sique *sigh*
    4. Re:Wrong by ae1294 · · Score: 2

      ok - let me expain it another way - there is a police district that is assigned three [count-em] THREE police-officers. The geographical size of this district is similar to that of France.

      Yea I saw that documentary Mad Max too...

    5. Re:Wrong by dbIII · · Score: 1

      Let's try again - there are a couple of cattle properties around the size of Texas.

    6. Re:Wrong by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Way to miss the point.

      The point was that if they can afford 3 police officers for a district the size of France, they sure as hell can't afford to mow it.

  23. Toads and more by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The elephants will certainly keep Australia free of the dangerously invasive BURNING DUCKS.

  24. Last chance for black rhino? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Just speculating but... would Australian law enforcement (and cultural attitudes) be more conducive to the prevention of poaching? If so, then it might be a good location for an animal refuge for some critically endangered species.

  25. Rhinos! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Elephants are very far from endangered in Southern Africa. There are way too many of them, to the extent that their numbers have to be actively controlled by culling entire herds. Elephants are dangerous and cause huge amounts of damage.

    On the other hand, black rhinos are being poached at an alarming rate, and they are on the brink of destruction. Australia is probably a much, much safer place for them -- so the Aussies should import as many of them as possible!

  26. Somehow I know David Bowman... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Didn't he fly to Jupiter together with an psychopatic supercomputer?

    1. Re:Somehow I know David Bowman... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      140 posts and only one guy bothered to mention this! You Slashdot plebs have declined greatly...

  27. I'm dissapointed in the commenters so far... by MrMonty · · Score: 1

    Whenever he asked a cow or native marsupial about eating the grass, they replied:

    "I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."

  28. Resources - Water by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Well, water for a start

    Right now there are land developers desperate to add new suburbs to several small towns.. but those towns are already stressed for water.. and in QLD they are now *under* water. Go figure.

    Around here, it's either so dry and parched that we literally can't support more people without lots of pipes (been done, wikipedia snowy mountains scheme if you are interested) or the place is flooded.

    It's a good idea.. but seriously. the outback isn't a place most people want to live.

    Let's put it like this. We have a problem right now that people on the other side of the world pay lots of money to get on a leaky boat to come here.
    A suggestion for fixing this problem is to open the gates. Come right in. Anyone from a war torn country, middle east, wherever, come on over if you can get yourself here. Only catch: You must spend the first 15 years here in a rural outback town or property and not come within 200km of a city.
    It's thought to be the best way to 'solve' the country shopper / boat people / illegal immigrant problem.

    After 1 week in the outback.. you'd fully understand why.

    However, if you don't quite understand, try this:
    In the middle of summer, go live on your roof for a week, take 1L of water with you, to last the week, and 4 boxes of plain muesli bars and a big hat.
    Some things you just have to experience for yourself to understand.

    1. Re:Resources - Water by petermgreen · · Score: 2

      A suggestion for fixing this problem is to open the gates. Come right in. Anyone from a war torn country, middle east, wherever, come on over if you can get yourself here. Only catch: You must spend the first 15 years here in a rural outback town or property and not come within 200km of a city.
      It's thought to be the best way to 'solve' the country shopper / boat people / illegal immigrant problem.

      It seems to me like it would just replace the "illegal immigrant" problem with an "illegal internal migrant" problem. Would you put passport controls at the city gates or something?!

      --
      note: i'm known as plugwash most places but i screwd up registering that here somehow in the past and now can't register
    2. Re:Resources - Water by tompaulco · · Score: 1

      Seems I remember reading somewhere that elephants like water, too.

      --
      If you are not allowed to question your government then the government has answered your question.
    3. Re:Resources - Water by Gilmoure · · Score: 1

      *golf clap*

      (*cricket clap?*)

      --
      I drank what? -- Socrates
    4. Re:Resources - Water by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No. No need. Change / set the law so that anyone who violates a set area restriction loses medicare, centrelink and all other government benefits; and is deported to country of origin when found. Don't check in once per month or be at random roll call and you get added to the police watch list for fugitives. Deportation comes next.

      There are several reasons Australia is targeted by people smuggles and country shoppers. We are seen as a 'soft touch'. If you can get your body here and have a good enough sob story you can live in comfort, be given housing, an education and money and gain access to medicare care and medicines .. for free!

      Who wouldn't come here? Who wouldn't pay $10,000 to get on a boat and come live the good life.

      I have no issues with refugees.

      I take offense at country shoppers. The moment you give up sanctuary in another country and illegally enter a country to claim 'asylum' you are no longer a refugee - you are deliberately imposing on another county, you are stealing their resources, you are a country shopper.

      It's a pity that the polies are such bleeding hearts. We are spending billions on a problem.. which can be solved rather cheaply.

      Another though occurs: GPS tracking bracelets. Done. Yet another technical solution to a social problem. Why don't we just end all wars..

    5. Re:Resources - Water by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Stop dicking around and suggest that Australia require that all "illegal immigrants" boat people or whatever be assigned the task of cutting and destroying this grass.

      Two birds. One stone.

      How many people will come here illegally if they know that they are going to spend years of their life in the outback cutting grass and pulling out weeds?

  29. Good luck by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Good luck getting a Rhino population in Oz, that close to Chinese borders they'd be shot and de-horned before they've made it out of the container.

  30. Most obvious question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Can that grass be smoked? :o

  31. Obligatory... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    As an inhabitant of the Australian sub-continent, I for one welcome our new elephant overlords!

  32. Why can't they just burn the grass? by JTsyo · · Score: 1

    oh wait...

    1. Re:Why can't they just burn the grass? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Or just cover the affected area with monoliths until the species dies out, or is replaced with a new intelligent life form.

      For the record, I originally saw "...ganja grass..." and thought "problem?"

  33. And if they paint their feet yellow... by Kupfernigk · · Score: 1

    They can hide upside-down in a bowl of custard (the French will not understand this.)

    --
    From scarped cliff or quarried stone she cries "A thousand types are gone, I care for nothing, no not one."
    1. Re:And if they paint their feet yellow... by BeaverCleaver · · Score: 1

      They will understand if you call it creme anglaise

  34. Aussies have HUGE mouse problem by spynode · · Score: 1

    This will result in an army of super paranoid Elephants. Great tourist attraction the least.

  35. One problem... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    How do you get the elephants through customs?

    1. Re:One problem... by Oswald+McWeany · · Score: 1

      Quite easily I imagine. Not even the TSA would want to give an elephant a cavity check.

      --
      "That's the way to do it" - Punch
  36. I think we're all missing ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ... the elephant in the room!

  37. Elephants of course... by g0bshiTe · · Score: 1

    what could possibly go wrong with introducing a new animal species into a habitat it doesn't belong. I mean look how well the plants did when put there.

    --
    I am Bennett Haselton! I am Bennett Haselton!
  38. Re:And then the elephants become the invasive spec by Gilmoure · · Score: 1

    What if we uplift the elephants, give them some kind of manipulative digits (trunk fingers?) and then tell them to do no evil? That'll work, right?

    --
    I drank what? -- Socrates
  39. Yeah, that makes sense... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Because they will only eat the invasive grass, and it won't be spread by their feces... This can only be beneficial. I can't see how these animals could possibly cause any other problems or upset the ecosystem in any way... Friggin idiots. This is precisely why I will never visit Australia. Man, and I thought Americans were dumb...

  40. Re:And then the elephants become the invasive spec by AlecC · · Score: 1

    Definitely. We could make them work in factories, fed only on gamba grass, and exploit them while we live in luxury... What could possibly go wrong with ten-ton intelligent slaves?

    --
    Consciousness is an illusion caused by an excess of self consciousness.
  41. How big are the grills in Australia? by Dareth · · Score: 1

    Throw another elephant on the barbie mate!

    --

    I only look human.
    My mother is a halfling and my dad is an ogre, so that makes me an Ogreling
    1. Re:How big are the grills in Australia? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Barbie sure likes it nice and big? Is Ken not satisfying her?

  42. Looney Tunes by geoffrobinson · · Score: 1

    Isn't this how Daffy Duck ran his hotel?

    --
    Except for ending slavery, the Nazis, communism, & securing American independence, war has never solved anything.
  43. Re:And then the elephants become the invasive spec by jimbolauski · · Score: 2

    The best example of a large animal being introduced into a new area is the oryx that were introduced into white sands missile range. Having no natural predators due to the thick hide on the back of their neck that the mountain lions can't penetrate easily and their long horns they have had no problem breeding going from 93 in 1977 to over 2,000 today. They put a strain on the natural wildlife, the jackrabbits and mule deer, by eating and drinking the scarce resources limiting their numbers and also hurting the mountain lion population by limiting their food sources. The oryx have flourished and have moved well beyond the missile range so much so that the NM Game and Fish began giving out Landowner permits in an effort to keep them in the missile range which has failed and oryx have moved north to Sevilleta Wildlife Refuge and south all the way to Fort Bliss. Approximately a 100 mile radius around the range with little to stop them from moving further the southwest has a new animal that is here to stay.

    --
    Knowledge = Power
    P= W/t
    t=Money
    Money = Work/Knowledge so the less you know the more you make
  44. When will they ever learn .... by fish_in_the_c · · Score: 1, Interesting

    So far that i know.
    Rabbits were accidentally introduced into Australia by farmers ( having no predators) they thumped like rabbits.
    cats were introduced to to control the rabbits , but like native birds better.
    dogs were introduced to try and control the cats ( dingo's prefer kangaroo though).
    not sure how the invasive toad species that are all over got there.
    i think people still go out with bats and gulf clubs to kill rabbits ( they should export the meat , but i believe right now burn it)

    Why would an elephant eat the tough grass first , why not the sweet tender native stuff and leave the tough grass alone until all the tender sweet stuff is gone?

     

    --
    âoeTolerance applies only to persons, but never to truth. Intolerance applies only to truth, but never to persons.
    1. Re:When will they ever learn .... by yurtinus · · Score: 1

      Why would an elephant eat the tough grass first , why not the sweet tender native stuff and leave the tough grass alone until all the tender sweet stuff is gone?

      Because then they couldn't get their government grant and ship in the Elephants!

      --
      +1 Disagree
    2. Re:When will they ever learn .... by Sparx139 · · Score: 1

      The toads were meant to eat the cane beetle, but they decided they didn't like the taste.

      --
      Our culture doesn't get smarter, it just finds new ways of being retarded.
  45. Brilliant. Except.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    In Australia, everything is poisonous and will kill you. Plants? Yes. Spiders? Yes. Frogs? Yes. Platypi? Yes.

    1. Re:Brilliant. Except.. by Oswald+McWeany · · Score: 2

      Music? Yes

      --
      "That's the way to do it" - Punch
  46. Thats what we need.. by pjr.cc · · Score: 1

    More introduced species in australia.

    I cant help thinking of that simpsons episode with the lizard, which ate the pidgeon, and they got out of control, so they brang in something else.. etc etc...

    This is already what Australia is like. Someone brang in rabbits, cane toads, snakes, etc etc... then they brang in something else to combat such things... the only thing ends up suffering in the long run is the native wild life and our ecosystem as a whole.

    Australian researchers (or anyone) should be shot in the head when they do the following:
    1) consider introducing a new species of anything to this country
    2) consider modifying an existing species DNA and introducing that into the country.

    I have faith in science, but morons are morons. Anyone who cant learn from the mistakes of the past needs to be locked up or put down so they cant do any damage - they really are cretins. Oh, "but we know more now?" ... your a moron if you actually believe you understand an ecosystem well enough that you can predict the implications of adding a new species of anything to it, being able to control it in the long run or actually measure whats going on when it does get into your ecosystem.

    Your an even bigger moron if you think you'll have a endless pit of money from either the government or some other body that will allow you to have the kind of control you need to police such a move for the foreseeable future.

    I really wish people like this professor would just cease to exist, they're bad for the planet and our species as a whole. I dont mind if they sit there researching the crap out of anything, but until they can prove they actually understand an eco system in its entirety and the government gets behind them with such a huge wad of cash they can prove they'll have the ability to remain in control, they should be locked in a cage somewhere.

    You can just already see the future of something like this:
    "turns out that elephant feases combine with a local australian-only plant to produce a toxic substance that is now leaching into our water supply - we must now evacuate australia - thanks for coming".... and then much later from the same professor "oh, we didnt quite take that into account".

  47. So.. I only read the headline... by Idbar · · Score: 1

    Aussies Could Use Elephants To Fight Invasive Species

    And I'm glad someone will stomp on those MPAA and RIAA and their bills!!

  48. Whales by Oswald+McWeany · · Score: 2

    As pointed out- elephants numbers are easily controlled due to their size. I would like to suggest we one up the elephant suggestion- and go for an even bigger animal- I would suggest the blue whale.

    Yes, I know- technically the blue whale is an aquatic animal- but they can breath air. We could create artificial limbs for them- attack fake legs to their flippers and their tails to allow them to walk on land.

    Since any young born would not be able to move- (hence eat), without human intervention, you wouldn't have to worry about their numbers exploding out of control.

    To me- this seems a near perfect solution. The only problem is that whales don't eat grass- but that's only a minor technicality- and you have to admit whales with artificial tripod limbs crossing the desert of Australia is a site worth one or two minor technical glitches.

    --
    "That's the way to do it" - Punch
  49. Which makes one wonder... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    If global warming is the first part to be seen of the sinister master plan to turn the whole world into a gigantic version of Australia.

    1. Re:Which makes one wonder... by The+Mister+Purple · · Score: 2

      The drop bears will slaughter us all!

      --
      "For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for nature cannot be fooled." Feynman
    2. Re:Which makes one wonder... by rubycodez · · Score: 1

      city dwellers can mostly avoid those, but the dread hoop snakes can get you most anywhere there are elevation differences! And hoop snakes eat drop bears for breakfast!

    3. Re:Which makes one wonder... by Whiteox · · Score: 1

      Don't forget the fruit bats! Their shit dissolves car paint.

      --
      Don't be apathetic. Procrastinate!
    4. Re:Which makes one wonder... by PaKL · · Score: 1

      Meanwhile up here in the tropics we used concern ourselves more with the jelly fish and crocs because swimming is a popular pastime. But lately the crocs are less of a concern as we just take our dogs swimming with us. If a dog goes missing we concern ourselves greatly!

      JOKING :)

  50. For context by Phat_Tony · · Score: 2

    SKINNER
    Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.

    LISA
    But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?

    SKINNER
    No problem. We simply unleash wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.

    LISA
    But aren't the snakes even worse?

    SKINNER
    Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.

    LISA
    But then we're stuck with gorillas!

    SKINNER
    No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

    --
    Can anyone tell me how to set my sig on Slashdot?
  51. Re:And then the elephants become the invasive spec by rubycodez · · Score: 1

    they'll have a sit-in protest, on top of us and our cars!

  52. The only time this will be on-topic: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a rhino?

    A: Elifino (hell-if-i-know)

  53. You want elephants? by frank_adrian314159 · · Score: 0
    --
    That is all.
  54. What is this cientist doing in Australia? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Man, I don't know if I like the idea of an astronaut dealing with ecology here on Earth (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Bowman_(Space_Odyssey))
    Hey, you have a sentient bad, bad computer to deal with, sir!!

  55. Re:And then the elephants become the invasive spec by Grishnakh · · Score: 1

    Couldn't be worse than humans.

  56. introducing foreign critter like this by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    i've never heard of introducing foreign critters like this that didn't cause more problems...and for some reason people keep doing it. however, i think this might work. elephants are so large, it should be possible to keep track of them all and control their population numbers.

  57. 5 Years Later by stevenfuzz · · Score: 1

    Aussies could use genetically modified super lions to fight the invasive elephant overpopulation problem.

  58. Darwin by Whiteox · · Score: 1

    Gee. Why not wait? Surely according to Darwinian theory, those kangaroos will evolve to be giant griaffe sized herbivores and eat the big grass. It's only a matter of time.....

    --
    Don't be apathetic. Procrastinate!
  59. Another invasive species? by Bonobo_Unknown · · Score: 1

    Native Elephants of course.

    --
    We don't believe in radical loony monotheistic religions from the middle east -- we're Christians.
  60. Woolies by Antoniopantalones · · Score: 1

    I was thinking this could be ground zero for the resurgence of the woolly mammoth.

  61. Re:And then the elephants become the invasive spec by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    What if we gave them three trunks and a Japanese schoolgirl?

    I can see the minister for commerce's eyes glistening at the thought a new industry!

  62. 17 points up at half time != won the game by Hognoxious · · Score: 1

    Yes it did, it just didn't do it completely - and the remaining population has now been selected for resistance.

    Funny definition of "working" you have there.

    I suppose Germany won WW2. After all, they booted the British off the continent in 1940 and were knocking on the gates of Moscow a year later.

    --
    Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
  63. Re:And then the elephants become the invasive spec by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Just wait. Let them keep on like this and when you start seeing oryx taking our jobs and putting their kids into our schools, you'll know the whole thing's gone terribly wrong.