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Modest Proposal For Stopping Hackers: Get Them Girlfriends
kierny writes "Hackers/crackers who get arrested are typically male and young adults — if not minors. Why is that? According to research by online psychology expert Grainne Kirwan, it's because the typical hacker 'ages out' once they get a girlfriend, job, kids, and other responsibilities that make it difficult to maintain their hacking/cracking/hacktivist lifecycle. Could that finding offer a way to help keep more young hacking enthusiasts out of jail?"
I dated a robot
This is as retarded as the last story. Timothy must be taking his stupid pills today.
The Girlfriend(tm) could solve a lot of problems young adolescent males have... someone should patent that...
http://www.beanleafpress.com
Probably the most effective idea yet. A girlfriend is a lot more fun than a computer, at that age anyway.
Website Just Down For Me? Find out
especially in areas where well-off males have claimed more than their fair share of women for their harems. Do you think any of the 9/11 bombers was married?
...we are surely doomed!
we go to strip clubs and the girls want to deal with us cause they know we can protect there sites....
we already got girls man and better lookin ones then you.....
we got drugs if we want
we got booze
and best part is knowledge pays for it all....
so again for the 3rd time to day from hackers....
FUCK YOU
The ultimate honey pot?
"This guys a hacker, he's in New York, all we have to do is get him laid and we won't have any trouble!"
This approach has been used to rehabilitate terrorists as well. This idea is hardly new. http://bigthink.com/ideas/17036 "This is based on the belief that you’ve got to give these young men a stake in society and it’s been reasonably successful, although Al-Qaida is so cunning." It has some merit, but its an expensive and difficult process.
If someone is bothering you, you take their life away from them.
If someone who has no life is bothering you, you give them one so they have no time to bother you.
My work here is dung.
Or, rather, PhD student. Anyway, kind of heteronormative, no?
Soooooo.... In order to promote social change, security awareness, technical excellence, and quicker adaptation to technological trends, we should advise our daughters to not settle down with anyone?
Isn't this a little sexist?
FTA "why not turn to older, more mature ex-hackers to educate younger hackers about the risks", because some one in that mindset is not going to listen to their elders.
Not all hackers/crackers/hactivists etc. are heterosexual. Surprised that Mathew Schwartz didn't pick up on this, especially in this day and age.
That's my takeaway from this.
Then again that's my takeaway from most discussions.
the name of the dept. for this article leads me to believe that the person that posted it ALSO does not have a girlfriend. poor guy, he should go outside.
A modest proposal?
Remember that CitiBank identity theft commercial? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGPBRXKuoMc
That's right... and when it comes to girl hackers, simply unstoppable :).
First, implying that this is only a problem for men is stupid. Women without responsibilities get into trouble too, often with consequences far beyond simple criminal mischief. Secondly, getting saddled with a relationshp does decrease the tendancy towards crime -- but then so does getting a car, a job, a house, etc. It'd be more accurate to say that criminals commit crime because they have less to lose.
That's a terribly obvious thing to say, and it also provides no insight into what to do to achieve it. Should we institute arranged marriages? A chicken in every pot, and a car in every garage? Should we force employers to hire people with a criminal record? Please, do tell. I'm all ears.
#fuckbeta #iamslashdot #dicemustdie
Conservative Islam is really hung up on the old sex thing: and it bleeds over heavily into the whole jihad youth thing we see with Al Qaeda, and Muslim inner-city troublemakers.
The Saudis accidentally stumbled across the solution: get them a root. Wife, kids, a job, responsibilities -- it's amazing how regular sex will tame the most savage beast.
If we want more female hackers in the future, then we shouldn't present our ideas in a way that makes it seem like we assume all hackers in the future will be male. Also, I know a lot of openly gay hackers, so I find the title of the article dumb for that reason as well.
You know how hard it is to find a girl who likes guys who are overweight, work on computers, have an affinity for Cheetos, Mountain Dew, and avoiding showers?
They can be great for curbing bad behavior, assuming that the girl herself isn't a delinquent that just exacerbates the problem.
The other problem is that settling down too fast causes the person committing to woman to virtually freeze their education and career.
Sig: I stole this sig.
Back in the early days, hackers were young hobbyists.
The people who are most dangerous now are simply criminals who've learned to operate computers.
Teenage and young adult hacking is part of the learning process and should be encouraged as part of the growth process. Most of those people will go on to futures in computer science.
The criminals will not.
Futurist Traditionalism
All we need now is a supply of eager women willing to fulfill their part of this societal bargain. I can just see the criteria for that list now:
1: Must like dark, poorly lit areas.
2. Use of mutlisyllable words.
3. Mountain Dew.
4. Is not afraid of acne, obesity, patchy facial or limp head hair.
5. Is ok with constant references to iconic sci fi works.
6. Is familiar with most respiratory issues, including asmatic speech impediments.
Im sure I could add considerably more to this list, but the above is least 85% of the reason that porn dominates internet in the first place.
Im sure I could add considerably more to this list, but the above is least 85% of the reason that porn dominates internet at this time.
I've been a /. lurker and infrequent Anon poster long enough to have forgotten my 4-digit userid. Between the blatant slashvertisements and pageview troll stories like this, /. has turned into little more than a greenish front end for a link farm. Now we are really seeing the flood that CmdrTaco was holding back. I am truly sorry to see it end like this.
I think the concept could be expanded from "get a girlfriend" to "find a hobby requiring a significant time investment that doesn't involve computers."
I work in the IT field, doing systems work with a bunch of SW developers. While I have not run into too many of the stereotypical "nerd who lives in Mom's basement" folks, the job itself really does cater more to those who would not prefer social interaction. Also, the few of these types I have run into have been incredibly maladjusted to fit into a "normal" environment. When you get enough of these types spending much of their waking life on their computers, imagine what you get when you whip this up with things like incredibly left- or right-wing online discussions. You might end up with your typical Anonymous, LulzSec or other hacktivist type.
I definitely think there's something to the "aging-out" claim. People mature as they get older. Those who have the social skills get married, get a girlfriend or find some other use of their time. And most importantly, that new-found interest or responsibility starts eating away at your free time. I'm married with a kid, and while I was never one of these hacktivist types, I certainly find it more difficult to keep up with just the things I need to stay current with for work (I build and admin machines running several different Windows, Linux and Unix builds for various small customer projects, so that's a LOT of reading to stay good!)
Sociologists saw this when they started looking at urban housing projects back in the later half of the 20th Century. They started off as mixed-income (although low-income) residences for people who couldn't handle high rents on their wages. When the formulas for public housing changed (fixed payment for rent changed to a percentage of income,) people who could moved out even if it was a stretch. What was left was the people who were unemployed and had nothing to do. Crime shot up more than it had done in the past, and eventually the system got so bad that most large cities are just trashing their housing projects and starting over. Moral of the story: People with nothing to do and the perception of nothing to lose will get in trouble more than the people who have their free time occupied.
Really? I listened to experienced hackers when I was young; younger hackers listen to me, if I am saying something interesting.
The real issue here is that we are assuming that hacking is a bad activity and that older hackers should be steering wayward youth toward the conservative, endorsed-by-corporations lifestyle.
Palm trees and 8
Getting "a life" damages young mens' productivity/creativity/drive. Film at 11.
You could use life against "hackers" (that word in the bad sense) but could also use it against anyone else who is doing things you don't happen to like, too. Politically active for the wrong party? Get 'em a girlfriend. Work for a competitor? Here, have a wife. And if those things don't work, b&e their houses and puncture their condoms for some Surprise Baby Drama.
As copyright owner of this comment, I authorize everyone to defeat any technological measure which limits access to it.
I know a few people who are really skilled technically, but choose that they want nothing to do with a relationship. Male and Female both. These people would have more fun trying to social the outreach program rather than taking it seriously.
Join the Slashcott! Feb 10 thru Feb 17!
...is this article assuming all female hackers are lesbians?
It all makes sense now! They're prepping for a massive cyber-war in the mid 21st century!
Their modest proposal sounds like Indecent Proposal.
I just wanted to congratulate TFA's authors for this incredibly novel approach to finding a girlfriend - drafting all of society into a plan to find them dates. Ingenious!
A bit desperate perhaps, but still... genius!
Looking for a Rails developer in Chapel Hill?
And from where exactly do they propose we get these girlfriends for the crackers? If we accept the supposition that these are all a bunch of young persistently-single men, then clearly these men are either a) not putting in the effort / participating in activities conducive to getting a mate, or b) insufficiently desirable to any potential mate met thus far.
The common thread in both cases - there is no woman (also, why all the heteronormativity?) interested in him. So do they propose that we kidnap some women from the street and tell them that they're taking one for the team?
Women are people too. Just because it would solve your problem if a woman were to screw this guy, doesn't create an obligation for any particular woman to screw him. I guess you could hire a bunch of escorts, but is it really worth the cost of a decent hooker providing a "girlfriend experience" for long enough to fool the guy into thinking he actually has a girlfriend?
This approach can be used to stop any significant scientific/technical achievement. No Nobel Prize in Sciences has even been awarded for research conducted while a person was married. :)
From my own experience being an activist and/or hacker has nothing to do with girlfriends. When I was around 20 years old I was very active in the nvda movement, nothing to do with computing just activism. The reason I quit was because of the stress and risks involved. When your young you can take more risks, less too loose. Also you think you can take more risks, just don't see them or don't care, less life experience.
As you get older you simply can't deal with the stress of being targeted by police and other people your opposing, your no longer willing to take the risks involved. People who do keep it up most of the time loose their sanity. There are exceptions of course, there always are, I know one guy who is still going strong, sane, with a family.
During the period I was still involved in the activism I actually had a girlfriend, not anymore... I should have kept it up.
Somewhere out there is a geek with enough skill that he got the government to try and get him a girlfriend.
He's so good at hacking he got a girlfriend.
That... is probably the best hacking skill of all time.
If you can read this, I forgot to post anonymously.
Corporations view hackers as a threat, because hackers do not just sit down and follow the rules like everyone else (rules which are, of course, designed to extract money from your wallet). Hackers created PCs, because hackers did not want to have to pay for computation utilities. Hackers explored the Internet and the phone system, and ignored restrictions that could be bypassed by pressing the right buttons or sending the right strings. Hackers are jailbreaking gaming consoles and tablets. Hackers are creating filesharing systems.
Corporate leaders cannot stand such people, and so now the threat of hackers has been played up by the mainstream media to the point that society thinks hackers are a major threat to public safety (as opposed to, say, the incompetent decisions made by management, or corporations who refuse to adapt to new technologies and new market realities). Naturally, the solution is to coax hackers into becoming more mainstream by bogging them down with mainstream problems (and if their girlfriends happen to be hackers as well? I guess the corporations never considered that possibility...).
Palm trees and 8
It just made me poor.
see subject
We've already seen how this ends up:
http://i.imgur.com/q0ycr.png
Careful with names containing L slashdot.org/~AiphaWolf_HK slashdot.org/~AlphaWoif_HK slashdot.org/~AiphaWoif_HK
I have been hearing this phrase for more than 30 years and believe it is hundreds of years old or may be thousands: "The weight of bullock cart will tame the bulls" (I am pathetic at translating from one of the Indian languages). The phrase is used in the context of getting young man married to make him responsible.
Palm trees and 8
The best way to eliminate terrorists was actually invented by Yasser Arafat and some of his advisors, who themselves had invented Black September, the terrorist group that murdered Israeli athletes at the 72 Olympics in Munich:
http://m.theatlantic.com/past/docs/issues/2001/12/hoffman.htm
When they weren't needed any more...they married them off. Told them to go into deep cover in Jordan, found pretty Palestinian girls to marry the "heroes", have kids, be "sleeper agents"...and never gave them a mission. Interviewed years later, few were willing to accept one any more.
First of all, where are you going to find girls that are interested in geeks? Are you going to import mail order brides from China or something? Half the hackers in the world are already in China!
Secondly, despite being overweight, unshaven, sloppy, smelly, ugly themselves, hackers have a very high self-opinion of themselves, and, after having watched a gazallion hours of pr0n on the internet, will be remarkably picky about the looks/abilities of the potential girlfriend. They aren't going to settle for just anybody. Ideally, this person needs to look like Jeri Ryan and should have the brains of Jeri Ellsworth (come on, I think that was a pretty clever match-up)...
And lastly, such girls don't exist, so, finding them, and then, what, paying them to date and have sex with these guys without blowing their cover? It just won't work, it will never work, and the whole idea just doesn't add up at all.
If telephones are outlawed, then only outlaws will have telephones.
Prostitution is legal in many countries, and at least in one state in the USA. Perhaps Timothy thinks that prostitutes should be socialized by the government?
Seems like this provides more cover for the old guys who probably have wives, kids and senior-level positions. Most are probably smart enough to not get caught. I mean yea, these kids get caught because they feel like they have to act, not only speak out.
Secondly, getting saddled with a relationshp does decrease the tendancy towards crime...
First, one generally doesn't get "saddled" with a relationship (unless that relationship is with a horse, although there might be some exceptions to this). Generally there is a tradeoff involved with any relationship, and generally people get better judgement at making better tradeoffs as they mature. I'd hazzard a guess that the first relationship that you would get the stereotypical hacker into, wouldn't involve the best set of tradeoffs (for either party, or the continued hacking).
Second, it depends on the nature of of the relationship. That whole partners in crime motif is not just in the movies, it (often unfortunatly) happens in real life too...
I think people tend to underestimate the power of endorphins (the thrill response) and the development of the prefrontal cortex (the judgment thought center of the brain) in the whole rational thought process. Just because people that have more to lose tend to commit less crime may just be a correlation. Perhaps developing enough good judgement to be able to achieve a reasonable relationship, car, job, or house requires better judgement already and less crime is merely a consequence of the same underlying cause. Many studies have indicated that maturation of the prefrontal cortex development doesn't really happen before the teens and for most people, doesn't happen until the mid twenties...
So, just getting a hacker into a relationship (or other "saddling?") w/o doing anything to improve judgement is likely not gonna be good for anything. It's like trying to treat all poverty w/ money. If the poverty was from poor judgement like snorting/shooting/drinking, more money isn't gonna help that situation very much...
Girlfriends might work, but I think bread and circuses may be more cost effective.
Here's the problem with this title: being a socially awkward loner isn't the problem. For many "hackers", the issue is that they aren't challenged in their day-to-day life. Maybe that is because they are advanced learners. Maybe that's because they aren't involved in extra-curricular activities. And maybe it IS because they are socially awkward loners and don't have friends to hang out with. But the point is that the article takes a very complex, serious topic and boils it down to "If they could just get a hand job, they wouldn't care about anything else". What stupidity.
Or maybe hackers just need to find partners who actually understand what hacking is about and why it draws people, and who can at least sustain a conversation about something more interesting than celebrity gossip. My current girlfriend and I argue about the merits and problems of Javascript being used everywhere, about the shortcomings of Python, about whether or not computer science is just a field of math, and so forth. Do you think that sounds awful for a hacker?
The real problem with this article is that it assumes that hacking is a problem that needs to be "solved" i.e. destroyed. The author's idea is to bog down hackers with mundane, corporate-approved concerns. I bet the author never considered the possibility that two hackers could pair up without stopping their activities -- typical conservative attitude about computers and hackers.
It is also worth noting that there are plenty of women who are content to let their husbands spend hours working on a project in the shed/garage/barn/whatever. What, does the author think that no woman would ever be willing to give her boyfriend or husband some free time to sit in front of a computer and hack? If I did not know better, I would think that the author was clueless or something.
Oh, yeah, and nevermind the number of female hackers or gay hackers.
Palm trees and 8
This sumission is stupid and low quality compared to the other things that get posted to slashdot.
Pussy is nice but wanking it is more efficient.
this is american in europe we just date a girl hacker, because we're not as equally retarded as americans are :D))
Please! Preferably fairly intelligent, empathic ones that have not already been impregnated, used up, and thrown away by the sociopaths. Having to raise hell spawn while in a relationship laced with relapse-infidelity and conveniently misplaced rage will just bring the alienation back to the surface. Prettiness is nice, but all too often, brief and far more expensive than it is worth. The truth is just as long as they are at least marginally physically attractive to the target, it will work. Emotional and intellectual compatibility matter far more, as does having a stake in the next generation.
But I will only accept SLAVE LEIA.
Or Natalie Portman in Hot Grits. (this may be the oldest running joke in Slashdot history)
If telephones are outlawed, then only outlaws will have telephones.
At what cost
are we stooping so low to need to get them so tail?
didn't work for Julian
Plan To Get Laid At DragonCon 2001 Fails.
Knowledge is how to play a game, intelligence is how to win, wisdom is knowing what game to play.
What hackers need are robot girlfriends so, they can go on hacking...and hack each others girlfriends.
Based on arrests...rare participant who's over the age of 25--or even 19
So... Only young and stupid ones get caught?
Maybe when girlfriend is around, crackers become more careful, responsible, and precise and manage to stay out of trouble!
Don't assume that just because they discovered girls at the same time they quit hacking it's the reason why. Maybe they started paying attention to girls (or girls started paying attention to them) because they got bored playing with tech toys? Or that both happened for the same reason: adulthood?
http://alternatives.rzero.com/
The article is full of prejudice, misinformation and bullshit. First of all, the hackers causing real damage aren't your stereotypical basement dwellers: most of them are either part of a criminal organisation or a state agency. The young kiddies who do it for the lulz, as a challenge or to support an ideology are only the visible tip of a huge iceberg, as they are the ones who are either too careless to cover their trails or directly announce their deeds. Most of the time they cause little harm, and sometimes can even be valuable when pointing out vulnerabilities which could have lead to the loss of sensitive data in the hands of a more mischievous hacker. If you want to stop them from growing up to be blackhats, the most important thing would be legislation that doesn't send them to jail for pointing out that a door is open. If you don't want them to become outcasts, don't cast them out. Provide them with ways to use their skills within the boundaries of the law. Sending a shoplifting kid to jail is a sure way to turn him into a robber, and the iron fist approach will not work any better on adolescent hackers.
No hacking ...
No profit!
No girlfriend
A job would be a good start, depending on how the person in question's social skills fit into a work environment (but then, those are pretty important in relationships too).
If said person is a decent hacker, then (s)he is probably decently intelligent and could be putting those skills to good use somewhere. Perhaps part of the problem locally is related to the farming out and devaluation of intelligent jobs.
Einstein
I wonder what would be more effective in this thought provoking conundrum?
Yeah I suppose you could get them girlfriends...or you could just take away their computer and give them an iPad instead.
Your mama dresses you funny, and you need a mouse to edit text.
I am an over 35 years old virgin male nerd/geek who never had a date/lady mate before (blame my multiple disabilities I was born with). I also barely have time for fun (used to play computer games a lot). I do security testings for work though. Maybe I will finally get a woman one day or not... :(
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
we won't have any trouble!
. . . Hacker + Girlfriend . . . ?
It always ends in tears . . .
Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!
;P
Bukowski said it. I believe it. That settles it.
The world would be a lot calmer if marijuana and prostitution were legal.
Poster of Uncle Sam pointing at a young woman:
Uncle Sam Wants You!
To Be Patriotic and
Fsk a Hacker Today!
You can make the difference!
the conclusion is fairly sound. Hackers, like terrorist, tend to live in a fairly insular group, if any group at all. The only empathy these groups have is towards common plights and goals. A significant diversifies that empathy.
Forgive me for not posting the link, but I have read articles that virginity is a trait found in many suicide bombers (and, no, it's more than just an observation from the movies Syriana and GITS: 2nd gig)
Mod me down, I shall become more off-topic than you could possibly imagine.
Give all criminals girlfriends.
uh oh libble timmy
it looks like you bebber get oubba here
"Stratigraphically the origin of agriculture and thermonuclear destruction will appear essentially simultaneous" -- Lee
Hackers going to jail? Since when?
A few high-profile media darlings compared to thousands of breaches per day... no. Hackers aren't going to jail. You're still orders of magnitude more likely to do jail time for shoplifting a candy bar than for exposing a few hundred thousand people to identity theft or for selling a few thousand credit card numbers or engaging in online extortion.
This country has fucked-up priorities.
Everybody gets what the majority deserves.
There is a reason these hackers don't already have girlfriends. That reason will continue to prevent them from having girlfriends, despite this revelation.
Unless you are proposing to force women to "take one for the team" and date a repulsive antisocial geek. Good luck with that!
Someone grab it quick and set those boys up with dates!
It all starts at 0
I'm pretty sure the biggest reason is turning 18. That's what happened to my friends and I. You turn 18 and suddenly you're punished as an adult and the severity of being caught rises exponentially.
http://www.bitterwallet.com/fancy-dating-a-gamer/57716
"Don't belong. Never join. Think for yourself. Peace." V.Stone, Microsoft Corporation
Correlation does not imply causation.
How many innovations were created by young men who didn't have girlfriends? If Isaac Newton had been making out with a wench under the apple tree he never would have noticed the apple falling and we'd still be living an an Aristotilian world.
...fill out form dfsx-69, receive government sponsored prosti^h^h^h^h^hgirlfriend, PROFIT!
Silence is a state of mime.
This is apparently how some terrorist organizations were closed down as well. I recall a story about this in the 70's in which an active plan to marry off the active cell members lead them to no longer be interested in hijacking or bombing.
Yeah. Let's take some asshole hacker who obviously lacks any basic ethical grounding and reward him by duping some unsuspecting young lady into having sex with him. Sure. Meanwhile, let's also overlook those geeky guys who haven't committed any crimes, because, what they don't need girlfriends?
As one other commenter said, this is retarded. And for lots of reasons. We don't reward stupidity, they should be in jail, and if they're amoral enough to spend so much time hacking, they're likely to not treat their girlfriends well.
is that like lightcycle? or is he suggesting they are asexual .
this does nothing to address the new 'typical' hacker that organizations see...the nation state hacker PAID to infiltrate and compromise government and corporate systems. It has nothing to do with their social life...it's their JOB to hack.
This is about as feasible as using transporter technology to reduce morning commute traffic congestion.
Back in the early days, hackers were young hobbyists.
Yes, and many people still use this definition (although there is no requirement to be young)
But it doesn't really matter in this case. The "solution" should work for both cases. Whether the young male is into hacking banks or printer drivers, they are probably going to do less of it if they get a girlfriend or any other major non-technical distraction. People who explore technical fields deeply tend to be less productive after they get a life.
This apply to everyone who put a lot of work in their passion, not just "bad" hackers. I don't think it make much sense.
So let me get this straight, we should enslaves females to hackers so that they stop hacking? This is your "Modest" proposal? I suppose you think we should provide rapists with sex slaves, and perhaps those pandering to younger ages as well? I mean why not sacrifice ONE child to save all the rest?
I am amused by the delusions of grandeur that these "hackers" have. As if stealing some credit cards or compromising a site was so dangerous and scary that the world, thusly held hostage ponied up all of its fine virgins just so that the evil Hacker Overlords would show mercy!
Anyway, it was a cute idea but seriously, if you want a girlfriend you are first going to have to be a person that a girl would want to spend time with. You can go back to the self-revulsion now.
Agent Smith: It seems that you've been living two lives. One life, you're Thomas A. Anderson, program writer for a respectable software company. You have a social security number, pay your taxes, and you... help your landlady carry out her garbage. The other life is lived in computers, where you go by the hacker alias "Neo" and are guilty of virtually every computer crime we have a law for. One of these lives has a future, and one of them does not.
Your ad here.
If you are under 20 mod parent down.
If you are over 20 mod parent up.
I'm a good cook. I'm a fantastic eater. - Steven Brust
"I shut my door and worked alone. After a few tries over months, I had a pretty decent design with the chips of the day."
-Woz
Now, where we would be if Woz had a gf in highschool?
Intelligence oriented towards abstract thinking, objects, and machines repels women like a meeting of the local Linux User's Group or SABR (Society of American Baseball Research). Women find intelligence un-leavened with machismo, narcissism, mild sociopathy (or high), the "dark triad" revolting. Since it correlates nicely with lower testosterone and social dominance.
We are prisoners of our DNA and genetic inheritance. Primates don't have money, or mansions, or possessions. Pretty much all primates mate in the fashion that the most dominant male secures all the females. Until he's killed off by a contender or predators, disease, etc. That is the primal urge of pretty much all women, unless moderated by social environments in turn responding to resource scarcity: not enough food, water, shelter, clothing, etc requiring a nuclear family and "settling" for guys unsexy but who make serious weapons. More J. Robert Oppenheimer and Albert Einstein, than your sexy dancer and aspiring rapper.
To get these guys girlfriends, when the prospective girlfriends will NEVER BE HOTTER AND DEMAND MORE MALE INTEREST (ages 15-22, basically, and yes that's a product of our DNA -- primates don't wait until fertility is almost gone to mate) is impossible. There is no social structure steering them into that, and away from say Levi Johnston or Kevin Federline. The boys are at the nadir of their sexual value (as they age, achieve power and dominance, the get enough to find the last aging bitter "settling" fertility window of the formerly hot). The girls, the peak.
That is a fundamental mis-match in sexual value in the marketplace. Never going to happen.
Heck the guys seek local hacking dominance just to raise their peer value and thus (pathetically) hoping to raise their sex value. Which does not happen, only by sheer primate-driven local social dominance over others (cruelty unpunished, aggressiveness, machiavellianism, narcissim, sarcasm unpunished, other dominance displays) can men be attractive to women. Even if the guys worked out, bathed, ate right, and dressed well their inner lack of social dominance around others (pushing people around SUCCESSFULLY and intimidating others is the surest way to draw hot teen girls) dooms them to failure.
Indeed the failure of boys to gain higher sexual value ("I hacked Wal-Mart! And all girls still avoid me!") guarantees that they will double-down on efforts to go even bigger and more disruptive, as the ability to push people around is simply not in them (too high IQ, too oriented towards abstract systems) any more than they can dunk like LeBron James (or James can use a spreadsheet or write a PERL script).
I suppose you could match the boys with over-aged MILFs with perhaps 1% of their former hotness, but that's a raw deal compared to the top 10% Alphas hogging about 80% of the actually attractive aged peers. And like most raw deals generates pushback action by the buyers.
It doesn't have to be get them a girlfriend or put them in prison.
Put them in prison and they automatically have (umm I mean, become) a girlfriend!
Just because it CAN be done, doesn't mean it should!
In keeping with the original, I vote we eat the hackers. Think of it, they would be like caffeinated jerky.
...and they got him Sharon Stone.
I notice these religious whackjobs with harems are often able to goad single young men into blowing themselves or other things up
get 'em a women
Let's call it hacker-care. We'll need about $10B/yr to sustain it, and what we'll do is pay a competitive salary to these ladies for dating hackers, as well as covering all medical expenses (they have to stay healthy!), college, and even annual vacation bonuses. When are we going to hold a vote?
They finally figured out that women are the end of us.
You can't handle the truth.
I don't really buy this argument.
When I was a teenage hacker, I knew girls existed but they were much less interesting than computers. And in any case, sex is like bridge. You don't need a partner if you've got a good hand...
Oolite: Elite-like game. For Mac, Linux and Windows
either that or you know grow up and join the rest of civilized society.
The government seeks to use our own natures (hormones to be specific) against us. Remember, girlfriends become wives which is imprisonment by other means. I do not believe that men are gay by default and have to prove anything. Shoving one's haploid transporting keratin road in some witches ham gash is a biological hazard. The men must be reminded that those in power masturbate over the thought of total control. Therefore we must masturbate over the thought of stopping them.
--
It's time to make the doug^W^W^Wwaste the mod points.
If I don't get a girlfriend soon I'm gonna pwn some boxes! I'm not fat or gross or terribly ugly, it's just a long-ass flight to my little outpost, I think I'm being reasonable.
"When information is power, privacy is freedom" - Jah-Wren Ryel
didn't really work for Assange, did it...
Just who is this Grainne Kirwan, and how did they get to be an "online psychology expert". We've been hearing from these goons for 20-30 years now and its never anything insightful or constructive. Always some vauge insult, gross stereotype aimed at reducing freedoms online, persecuting engineers, or general intimidation of such. Either that or enforcing outdated social standards at the behest of the larger society on the internet were they are unwelcome and unwanted. All agains the types who make the internet happen in the first place.
They seem like a brand of two bit hacks either looking for funding research, or notoriaty for their own careers. The internet does not need them. The internet does not need outsiders telling us who we should or should not be. The internet has not use for soft minded soft sceince types making decisions about its usage.
...has anyone asked the *girls* what they think of this idea?
I dunno, just asking.
At the rate cyberwarfare is turning from a prophecy into day to day reality, I question why a nation would want to dissuade its emerging hacking talent? In the not too distant future, a nation's security will depend on an ample supply of greyhats. Less wealthy nations already arguably have a head start: more disenfranchised youths = larger hacking community.
They'll pray it away. Both the story and the submitter should have their throat sliced open over a shallow grave.
Clearly, then, womens' rejection of nerds is clearly the root cause of such antisocial behavior. Therefore, we can conclude that women cause billions of dollars in losses per year. And, actually, so do the cess pools called "High Schools" in America.
I think that you nailed it -- there's nothing wrong with hacking, and the vast majority of youthful (or even adult) hacking is essentially the same sort of talent-honing that people that are naturally great at any other discipline do. The real problems are the criminals, and if they weren't making their money (or getting their jollies) that way, they'd go for another illicit route; a relationship isn't going to affect them at all.
Now mostly at Usenet:comp.misc & SoylentNews.org (it's made of people!)
Considered past Sony's behavior for what concerns company image and public relations, i would surely avoid to make use of a SONY-provided girlfriend since they would be capable of deliberately infecting her with gonorrhea or something even worst
Yasser Arafat shut down a militant group of his by arranging beautiful Palestinian women for each of his single violent young males to marry.
http://www.theatlantic.com/past/docs/issues/2001/12/hoffman.htm
though it would make Rosy and her five sisters jealous.
"You'll get nothing, and you'll like it!"
I applaud this plan! I don't have a Girlfriend(tm) but would love to have one. Please assign me one and I will even sign documents to say I will never hack again. Do I get to choose my Girlfriend(tm) or is one just assigned to me? Please supply me with a readhead, and not some cheap Polish importbride. I assume the contract will be invalidated if and when the Girlfriend(tm) decides to leave me and is not superseded by Girlfriend(tm) v2.0.
Not to upgrade Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 http://www.indranet.com/potpourri/humor/girlfriend_upgrade.html
You don't mean Polyamorous - thats simply a relationship that is open enough to allow each member to have relationships with others as well as the couple specified, kind of like a group relationship.
You mean "Polyandry" which is one woman marrying more than one husband. Its not that common, but it does occur in some societies. Often its one woman marrying brothers as well.
"The first time I got drunk, I got married. The second time I bought a chimpanzee, after that I stayed sober" Arian Seid
since when were all hackers straight?
I was born without sexuality, and women try to fix me,
which means they try and get me to have sex with them.
I am probably more interested in computers than women,
once a 18 year old girl claimed that she was be both a lesbian and a virgin,
and she kept on inviting me to house, I never went,
she was insane, I must admit
she was studying for a physics major, so I thought about dating her for geek cred,
I found out that her mother is a lawyer after I rejected her for sex,
so I put up with her strange behaviour for a while,
women do not accept sexual rejection very well,
another time a different girl accused me of rape,
it turned out I was the fifth person she had accused of rape that month,
and CCTV footage back up my claims,
I am not allowed to know what happend to other men she accused.
nor am I allowed to try and contact them.
talk about sexism.
...nothing says 'I Quit!' like getting your dick sucked...
Most of the value lost was never there, in the first place, and what was lost was mainly lost due to incompetence, not criminality. That, and depending too much on unreasonable leverage levels as "the new normal." No one decided to loot Iceland's banking system, frex, they just bet everything on red and black and were caught when a run of green zeroes and double zeroes came up (to use a roulette analogy -- couldn't think of a car one).
Maybe all of us that are married are a lot more careful, so we don't get caught? Ideally if they're catching teen and younger twenties hackers, that simply leads me to believe that the older ones are... better. Not a big reach, but then again I'm not a psycologist.
This is what happens to EVERYONE when they grow up, get jobs, spouses, kids, responsibilities, etc. Life has a way of taking the fire out of you as you get older.
You mean pay them a girlfriend/whore? At that age no girl, even the ugliest one, cares about them. Let the hackers do their job. These psycologists have problems to engage in relationships on their own, that's why they always find relationships can solve any problem. Hackerism can be age related but has nothing to do relationships.
why not just execute them as you find them. a lot cheaper. and you dumb down the gene pool as well. arrogant inbred morons.
old hackers just don't get caught.
These are the stupid teenage and kiddie scripters, dangerous to the core hackers dont need a waste of time in their lives, they know how to balance.
You mean hacker's are either all straight or lesbian? Seriously, though, while there's often a power struggle, and even the "occasional" sadistic aspect to sex and sexual "alternativeness", screwing with people's heads isn't just about pent-up sperm, social awkwardness and testosterone deficiency, There's no shortage of mean twisted kids and adults that enjoy multiple ways of getting-off, and not all hacking is done by loners in a cave. You can be brilliant, sadisctic, mean, twisted, social and dating. Increasingly, people hack 9-5. If ya'know what I'm say'n...
I would have to agree with this idea. The problem is why stop at just hackers though when you can stop all types of crime, saving our country millions of dollars a year in housing for inmates by offering people the help they need? Also, most criminals have psychological problems....
-- SnappleX
Saudi Arabia has a program for paroling convicted terrorists. Young single men convicted of certain terrorism-related offenses who meet certain good behavior criteria in prison are given dowry money and assistance in finding brides. It turns out that the re-arrest rate for the guys who get married is significantly lower.
Copyright Violation:"theft, piracy"::Anti-Trust Violation:"thermonuclear price terrorism"<-Overly dramatic language.