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Iran Says It Sent Monkey Into Space and Back
Iranian state TV is claiming that the country has successfully sent a monkey into space and back, bringing Iran one step closer to its goal of a manned space flight. According to the report, the rocket named Pishgam, or Pioneer in Farsi, reached a height of 120km. From the article: "Iran has long said it seeks to send an astronaut into space as part of its ambitious aerospace program, including plans for a new space center announced last year. In 2010, Iran said it launched an Explorer rocket into space carrying a mouse, a turtle and worms."
Sometimes his policy explanations are as believable as a monkey's.
Ahmadinejad made it all the way back safely
Did any local agencies confirm the launch?
Congrats Iran!
--- rapper/producer/bachelorette party stripper
Firing defenceless animals off into space for their twisted pleasure ?
BOMB THE BASTARDS.
Sky subscribers are morons. They pay to be advertised at !
Sounds like some sort of Flintstones / Jetsons crossover.
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
Iran also said it has a girlfriend, but she lives in Canada.
Where did it land? Iran? No way. They would have to target the ocean and their navy is well monitored, blockaded and (honestly) fairly weak.
I'm surprised they didn't start with some something more disposable, like a woman. I'm sorry, but it just shocks me that a society can make this kind of technological achievement and still treat some humans as second class citizens.
Go into a bar, I mean, an Iranian space capsule. The mouse says... Come on, help me out here.
They say the first thing to go is your penis. Well, it's either that or your brain. I forget which...
Reaching an altitude of 120km is much, much easier than orbiting at 120km.
By a ridiculous factor.
One you can achieve with a really large single stage sugar/fertiliser rocket.
The other requires multi-stage, or really advanced single stage with good design and control.
It's sort of like saying making a childs toy cart is relevant to making a formulae one car.
Its probably just to cover the news that their nuclear weapon research bunker was blown up.Don't look here, watch the monkey!
Isn't this something that would be easily confirmed by the nations watching Iran's rising power? Or is it confirmed already? Iran is famous for its photoshopping skills and their knack for skewing propaganda in their favor. On the other hand, they do have the technology to do this. At least in theory.
- Henrik
- when the Shadows descend -
That a culture that can manage to put a satellite into space, thinks that
1) if they put a rocket in space, then everyone will start liking and respecting them; and
2) that if nobody likes or respects them, it's not their fault, but everyone else's.
Look at us! We're not a backwards Third World basketcase! Honest! Really!! Can we be friends now? :-p
The article mentions that the monkey went into space and back, but we all want to know whether Ahmadinejad survived or not.
Are you sure they aren't treated badly?
Some people die at 25 and aren't buried until 75. -Benjamin Franklin
We did the same thing...
Find the time? It provided him with a way to avoid distractions while coming up with new absurd/asinine things to say on the international stage!
Self proclaimed typo king, and inventor of the bear destroying coffee table (patent not pending).
Are you kidding? That monkey just became a lot more famous than any of us are ever going to be. He's probably going to get laid a lot more than any of us too. Shit, put ME in the next rocket, Iran!
What political party do you join when you don't like Bible-thumpers *or* hippies?
that launching a rocket via the Kerbal Space Program doesn't really count.
Didn't a beverage company just send a monkey to space and back?
Nowhere in TFA does it say the monkey survived. For all we know it came back as chunky salsa...
This is a sig. This is only a sig. Had this been an actual sig you would have been informed where to tune for more sigs.
And what was that famous monkey's name? ;-)
I believe it.
That settles it.
Super-intelligent monkey manipulates another nation-state into providing it with a free joyride into space.
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
From all of these anti-Iranian comments I guess the US propaganda is working well. Pretty soon you all we clamor for war and sign up to fight. It's amazing how people can hate those they never met.
I love Jesus, except for his foreign policy.
FTFA:
said the monkey returned safely.
I presume that means "alive," unless Iran has a very different take on the word "safely."
What political party do you join when you don't like Bible-thumpers *or* hippies?
They decided to make him the next Ayatollah.
A pox on web designers who feel that window.innerWidth == screen.availWidth
Well, to be fair, this is Iran. I mean look at the typical Islamist regime and their claims of "The Religion of Peace" while chopping off hands.
I got here through a series of tubes
When the U.S. sent chimps into space (Ham, Enos) it was to test the effects of weightlessness on a living body, because scientists really thought that it might harm humans. Therefore, test on a chimp first to see if it's safe for man. So why start a new program at the bottom? Why not design a man-rated system from the get-go? The science is proven, if all you're after is political mileage, man-up and send a man up.
So let me see if I have this right. Iran launched what is effectively a dud ICBM with a monkey strapped to it and the western world has to hear about it in a Iranian press release relayed by a Canadian news outlet? Somehow I think if this story were true it would have had better coverage. Not to slight Iran, but the image of the rocket in the story looks like it would be lucky to have enough fuel to reach a neighbor's soil, but this wouldn't be the first time an image that had nothing to do with a story was used in the absence of related content. I would love to see an Iran that abandoned... whatever that is they are doing now, and embraced science for the sake of science instead. Unfortunately that just doesn't seem to be in line their priorities.
North Korea announced that it had put a "satellite" into "orbit," accomplishing two goals: artificially inflating national pride and telling the world "we're actually just practicing building rockets that may one day deliver nuclear weapons to your cities." Iran plays the same games with its own people and the world, so it's logical that they had to craft a similar announcement, whether it's true or not. The day North Korea announced the "success" of its satellite, you can bet Ahmadinejad called his advisors and said, "I need a space program milestone announcement ASAP!" Ahmadinejad doesn't want his people, or the world, to think he's not keeping up with poor Kim Jong-un.
In both cases, you have countries that can barely afford to take care of their citizens, yet they are claiming to be building a full-fledged space program. Iran is a far more resource-wealthy country and its GDP is more than 10 times North Korea's, but its economy is suffering badly because of the international sanctions for its nuclear program, and the health of its people is suffering even worse. So the only reason they would make such an announcement would be to artificially inflate national pride and try to scare the rest of the world.
Of course, Iran's people are not cut off from news from the outside world as effectively as North Korea's (despite police ripping satellite dishes off rooftops and a plan to unplug the country from the Internet), so this could backfire when the people protest about resources being spent on keeping monkeys breathing in space when there isn't enough air to breathe on the ground in Tehran.
Iran said it launched an Explorer rocket into space carrying a moose
A space møøse once bit my sister...
systemd is Roko's Basilisk.
120km isn't that high, barely high enough to call space. The difference between this and an orbital launch is orders of magnitude in difficulty.
"Unfortunately, in spite of being a national hero, the monkey was executed for masturbating on camera."
(-1: Post disagrees with my already-settled worldview) is not a valid mod option.
Did they actually do what they claim? Wouldn't our military have detected the launch? Where would the capsule have landed -- or did they use something they could actually get back to a landing strip?
Bush ain't no monkey. Get your facts straight, boy! What are you, racist or something?
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/images/blbushchimplookalikes.htm
"Windows is like the faint smell of piss in a subway: it's there, and there's nothing you can do about it." - Charlie Br
I do find it somewhat amusing and at the same time sad that someone had a Pavlovian response kicking in and decided to mod down the OP.
"I have downloaded hundreds and hundreds of records, why would I care if somebody downloads ours?" Robin Pecknold
Or it did not happen.
If NORAD does not say they saw it happen, then Iran is lying again.
Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
Whoosh... dude.
Meanwhile the USA reached the level of the US space program circa 1980.
If a western nation ever did anything bad, at any point in their history, that is remotely like something a non-western nation is doing today, well then the non-western nation gets a total pass. You can't criticize them because at one time something bad happened somewhere else!
This false moral equivalency bullshit is just retarded. Every country has done bad shit in the past. Every country does bad shit now. That doesn't mean that we cannot, or should not, point out when it happens. This idea that every country that isn't the US, or at least every country that isn't western gets an automatic pass on everything they do because of bad shit that happen sin other places is beyond stupid and counter productive.
First target: Washington D.C. Or should that be Florida?
const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
SJW, n: "Someone I don't like, and by the way I'm a fuckwit" - AC
Monkey Say, Monkey Do!
Have you fscked your local propeller head today?
"After the revolution when Iran stopped being Persia they quickly went back to a 2nd world country."
Actually the classification of 1st / 2nd / 3rd world is not about economic development level, but about allegiance to the Western block (1st world), Soviet block (2nd world) or neither (aka "non-aligned").
Catalin Braescu
Ofaly.com
The guy lives so much more humbly that its hard to think if he is as crazy as western media shows him or is there more going on. The country is making progress in spite of all the sanctions. Not sure if its the Iranian media spin but the guy sits and eats simple foods on a mat on the floor, sleeps on the floor.
First of all, Ahmadinejad is not the real face of Iranian leadership. The ayatollahs make policy, not him.
Second, to the extent that he does influences Iran's behavior, what does Ahmadinejad's eating habits have to do with his policy goals? Is it OK that he wants to wipe Israel off the map and long as he gets lots of fiber in his diet?
We already have more than enough Monkeys in both of those places...
"Unheard of means only it's undreamed of yet,
Impossible means not yet done." ~~ Julia Ecklar
Just 6 countries have sent live animals to space. It is original enough for Iran.
So... has anyone asked this conservative Islamic government why they chose a monkey? Do they have any idea what makes primates such good testing substitutes for human beings? I'm very surprised they didn't go the USSR route and use dogs or some other non-primate just to avoid this point.
I know a librarian who'd take issue with you calling an ape a monkey.
oh, wait, it isn't a joke any more. how did 700 AD look from up there?
if this is supposed to be a new economy, how come they still want my old fashioned money?
They also call them Albert and Laika. Whoever modded parent as insightful should be bombed first.
Large rockets are in no way stealthy. Do neither the US or the Russian Federation have the launch detection capabilities which existing in the Cold War?
ah yes!
the classic "one event in the 1950s is the root of all evil and all other iranian history is besides the point and all iranian behavior today is because of this one event in the 1950s" play
how can one argue with such stunning intellect!
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
A Jimp? Did they send a Jimp?
http://michaelsmith.id.au
OK, perhaps it's just for fun, but how can I be the only one on slashdot that is saying this hasn't really happened rather than just talking about it.
First of all this would have been front page news to the whole world, not just state run Iran media. It's not like this stuff isn't actually monitored or anything, to say anything about actual monitoring of specifically of Iran and their crazy. Second they don't have the technology, not even close. I recall years ago it was in the news where Iran was testing medium or long range rockets, and they couldn't even do that. In fact that same media got caught photoshopping an image "proving" that the lauch had been a success (when it really was a huge failure). Thats not even an ICBM, let alone a rocket capable of actually making it to any distance into space (like the 120km they were talking about).
Anyway I find this only slightly more plausable than the Unicorns in NK (who were at least able to inaccurately fling a medium range rocket to scare the bejusus out of Japan). Chaulk it up to "batshit crazy people say batshit crazy things", news at 11.
monkeys always lie.
Well of course they;re going to throw poo at us!
If you aren't part of the solution, then there is good money to be made prolonging the problem
Maybe they were shooting for some overbearing and overarching metaphor of some sort.
I got here through a series of tubes
And I swear to God, if one of their monkey missiles ever hits the face of this country, I will personally go over there and kick the crap out of him myself.
And their famous flying monkey: http://www.woot.com/blog/post/screaming-woot-monkey-7
My buddy just got back from Iran, he went with his girlfriend. She was giving him lip so he threw her off the balcony, and he was cited for littering.
...to know that their job can be done by a monkey. My job certainly couldnt be done by a monkey. You need a highly evolved human brain in order to program.
to put a man into orbit, it's just that they're now realising that sitting the infidel errrrr "astronaut" on a pile of explosives isn't the most controllable way to do it.
Gone to heaven...
Surely someone somewhere would have detected the take off. Either from a state next door who could see it on their radar or someones satellite etc??? Has anyone outside of Iran confirmed any of these claims? Or is it what we are supposed to believe that explosion was the other day?
Sure enough, the cow costume was hanging up next to the superhero outfit and sailors uniform. (S,Spud)