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Judge Backs Parents, Saying Their 30-Year-Old Son Must Move Out (npr.org)
"Attention geeks living in their parents' basements!" writes PolygamousRanchKid , sharing this story from NPR:
The promise of adventure didn't do it. Neither did the lure of independence, or the weight of his 30 years. Instead, it took a judge to pry Michael Rotondo from his parents' home. The couple won an eviction order against their son, after a judge argued with Rotondo for 30 minutes. "I don't see why they can't just, you know, wait a little bit for me to leave the house," Rotondo told Donald Greenwood, a justice on the Onondaga County Supreme Court...
Christina and Mark Rotondo resorted to legal action after a series of notes to their son (starting on Feb. 2) failed to get him to move out of their home in Camillus, New York, a town west of Syracuse. Those notes followed discussions that began last October. The notes to Michael Rotondo ranged from orders to leave and encouragement to get a job, to offers of more than $1,000 and help in finding a place... The notes escalated into a formally worded notice for Rotondo to leave that set a 30-day deadline -- which lapsed on March 15...
In a legal filing cited by CNYCentral, Rotondo said that in the eight years he has lived at his parents' house, he "has never been expected to contribute to household expenses, or assisted with chores and the maintenance of the premises," and that those conditions are simply part of an informal agreement. When he was in his early 20s, Rotondo briefly lived on his own, but he moved back in with his parents after losing a job...
The case is being seen as an extreme example of a growing trend. As NPR reported in 2016, a Pew study found that, "For the first time in more than 130 years, Americans ages 18-34 are more likely to live with their parents than in any other living situation."
Christina and Mark Rotondo resorted to legal action after a series of notes to their son (starting on Feb. 2) failed to get him to move out of their home in Camillus, New York, a town west of Syracuse. Those notes followed discussions that began last October. The notes to Michael Rotondo ranged from orders to leave and encouragement to get a job, to offers of more than $1,000 and help in finding a place... The notes escalated into a formally worded notice for Rotondo to leave that set a 30-day deadline -- which lapsed on March 15...
In a legal filing cited by CNYCentral, Rotondo said that in the eight years he has lived at his parents' house, he "has never been expected to contribute to household expenses, or assisted with chores and the maintenance of the premises," and that those conditions are simply part of an informal agreement. When he was in his early 20s, Rotondo briefly lived on his own, but he moved back in with his parents after losing a job...
The case is being seen as an extreme example of a growing trend. As NPR reported in 2016, a Pew study found that, "For the first time in more than 130 years, Americans ages 18-34 are more likely to live with their parents than in any other living situation."
How did this even make it into the firehose?
When you want to evict somebody for real, you do it legally to begin with dont fuck around. Dont try to serve the notice yourself or any of that bullshit. Or come up with your own arbitrary timeline. The kid was right initially, they cant evict him by typing some letter saying get out in 2 weeks. Thats not how it works people.
Rest of world, including europe:
Offspring inherits house, everyone lives together, multi-generational families.
Amerimutts: "GET THE FUCK OUT, SINK OR SWIM!"
Home ownership, along with car ownership, is a meme designed to keep the economy going in the post-WW2 era.
For most of human history families stayed together over the course of the centuries, farming the same land over and over again. Move where? Why? People bred for the purpose of having more hands to help farm the land and someone to take care of them when they were too old and sick for manual labor.
All of the world's problems stem from the fact that human nature hasn't changed while 20th century Western Civilization tried to shoehorn it into what best suited Capitalism.
Parents have been increasingly hovering and micromanaging, being extremely overprotective. Kids are denied the freedom that used to be normal. Mostly because of fears of that ultra rare stranger abduction, or some other low probability tragedy. They think well what's the downside, what if it did happen? Well this is the downside. Adult age children unprepared to deal with real life. Problems like here, and others like anxiety, are increasing in lock step with lockdown of kids. You trade the tiny tiny chance of kidnapping or something for a very good chance of stunted development and mental health issues.
And worse, it's practically required, because busybodies think any kid walking down the street alone is a police matter, and CPS misses kids being beaten and goes after parents who let their kid walk to the park. Support laws like Utah just passed, clarifying that the normal freedom most of us over 35 had isn't neglect.
It was on the fire hose just in case you missed the story on ... every ... single ... media ... outlet known to the human race. This even made the papers and TV here in Japan (a few days ago).
from one ac to another: i blame the poorly educated red state right wing morons who still live with their parents... like you.
Because over 75% of /. readers still live in their mom's basement.
If you decide to bring another life into this world, then fail to raise it not to be a dead beat, or give it the life skills necessary to get and keep a job (especially relevant as jobs get replaced by automation), they you should have to deal with the consequences of having a 34 y/o child living with you. You should not be allowed to evict them so that society has to deal with them being on the street or in a shelter, but should be allowed reduce their room to a closet in the garage, and bed down to a futon.
Once theyre 18 all kids should be forced into the army. What the fuck else is there to do except have our kids kill other kids?
I read about a homeless 13 year old in Venezuela was beaten to death when he wandered into a different neighborhood. Sounds like we could aspire to be just like this.
We only need a gas shortage,food shortage and maybe a general strike an we could be just like them!
As opposed to the right; killing black people, murdering abortionists, blowing up government buildings, invading foreign countries and removing all help from the poor and disabled.
See we can all play the made up generalisation game.
A superpower looking for any excuse to bully you also helps.
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Typical italian bamboccione no-wanna-work shitboy. Italians all the same, them figli di puttana, ecchecazzo vaffanculo.
...apart from the lawsuit I guess, and with it broader awareness.
Anime watchers and those familiar with modern japanese society will already have heard of the terms: NEET, hikikomori.
But as with many problems in japanese society that often gets picked by international media as some weird thing that must only happen in Japan, this is not by far a japanese exclusive phenomena.
https://think.iafor.org/reclus...
International media often exploit, fetishize, and even mock Japan for having these weird cultural things, often painting a picture as if it was commonplace there when it really isn't... but the truth behind this mocking of foreign countries is that more often than not, these things not only do exist back at home, but often it's worse than in Japan - only it's taboo, overlooked by press, and not selected as a subject for exposure.
So yeah... this guy is probably one of these cases. Surprise, bad stuff that happens in other societies is probably happening in sacred US of A too. And probably, a lawsuit is not the best way to deal with it too. Not that I'm ignoring the tribulation that the parents must've gone through already, but hikikomori are often unstable and should be seeking treatment and re-education, not being booted out of home.
There is a high potential of this being a case of throwing gas into the fire. Optimistic scenario, sure, the guy will leave home, get a job and reform himself. But people in the US really should not ignore the potential of someone mentally unstable becoming enraged with the situation and turning into yet another nightmare scenario that we all know pretty well by now having multiple cases a year. He could take his parents money, buy a gun, a go shoot some people plus himself.
Obviously I use hyperbole, some of them exist, they post on social media, but no more than overly entitled people have always existed. The myth is that all/almost all millennials are entitled whiners is a position used by the power generations to dismiss them. It's the same people that use the word libtard and talk about how "everyone" is overly politically correct.
And I say this as a straight white male nearing 50, so I'm part of the demographic that loves to ride them down and what I see are loads of young people working really hard to make it in a world stack against them. Still moving out, getting married, having kids of their own, in short, nothing like the image that the media portrays.
Dear random Internet commenter,
Excellent. The right should blame the left and the left should blame the right. Keep up the good work.
Sincerely,
America's Enemies
For a brief, weird time, it was a regular occurrence for families to disperse and move into separate dwellings as soon as they were capable of doing so. When this occurred, it was often achieved by banding together with others who made the same decision, but shared no other common bond (ie: room-mates)
But this was never "normal". It was always strange.
People are realising that they can more-efficiently utilize resources by *not* needlessly duplicating the amount of space, utilities, food, insurance, etc, rather than just combining efforts into a shared pool which can be used by a group of people who they already know and trust - the same pool which they already took part in for the first quarter of their lives.
Perhaps this will result in increased tribalism, or perhaps the pools will continue to get larger over time until everyone shares resources without needless duplication, regardless of their ancestry. There will probably be an app or two to help that process along.
Stop acting like "moving out, just because it's technically possible" was ever a good idea, rather than being some weird affectation of the ultra-rich, co-opted by baby boomers projecting their desires to be a member of a class that they couldn't possibly be without passing gargantuan amounts of debt down to future generations.
"Tanguy" is an excellent french funny movie about this subject: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0274155/. Watch it!
Didn't want to leave home and pay for his own power!
In this case, I woudl like to see a good old fashion Django style whipping but with a big leather trucker belt. Beat his ass out of the house.
His parents were far too polite and this is a 30 year old man. Time for a beatin...
Looks like someone is off their meds and reading too much infowars again.
Were you recently kicked out of your parents' house?
... did was kick me out when I was 19, 5 months after I was out of high school.
"You're learning a job. I don't care what. Wanna do performing arts? Ok, fine by me, you've got the talent. But you're moving out by end of summer. Get those applications rolling." -My mom, paraphrased.
I was doing performing arts 6 months later, in a big town 300 km away. She drove me there, in her Citroen Charleston De Cheveau. She told me a few years back that she had to pull over and cry for while on the way back, but she knew it was the very best thing to do. ... Smart lady, my mom is.
Best move ever. ... All because I was pushed on to the trail that made me become a grown man. ...
6 months in I felt better than ever before in my life, doing my own thing my own way. These days I'm a man with a grown daughter traveling South America for 9 months flat at the age of 20 and have a SO I love and respect, that fucks like a pornstar.
Love you, Mom.
We suffer more in our imagination than in reality. - Seneca
I think you misread something there sir. Deliberately I presume. :-)
We suffer more in our imagination than in reality. - Seneca
The problem isn't that he's overstaying or that they raised him poorly. Pushing the child out of the nest is a transition many families have to go through. You might say he should have learned or they should have taught him earlier, but that's a matter of degree.
The problem is that they have so few skills to resolve the conflict that it reached the courts and media.
My kids wanted to start driving at 15.5 years old. They wanted a car to be independent. Other kids I know valued their iPhone at age 12 and a couple of them didn't even "bother" getting a driver's license until age 20 while they were studying some bullshit degree at college.
Wanna guess which kids will grow up to get a job and want to move out?
Perhaps he would be happier living with Italian parents?
My parents raised all 7 kids to be independent. We were expected to find our own travel methods for sports teams, pay for our college education, get a job ASAP. My mother was a little disappointed when most of us stopped coming home (or calling all the time). She said they raised us to be too independent. OTOH, none of us has needed to be bailed out by our parents from jail or financial issues. We plan for the worst and hope for the best.
When I went off to college, 2 weeks later, they sold their house and moved out to "full-time" travel in an RV. They said, if you don't take it with you, we aren't going to store it.
One of my sisters moved home for a few weeks after college. She was required to pay rent and buy groceries. "First and Last" Dad kept saying to her - a reference to first month and last month rent (for the man-boys here). She moved out ASAP to get away from the house rules.
Which brings up a point, if the house rules aren't restrictive enough, some man-boys won't leave. A few ideas for living at home:
* Rent - you pay.
* Laundry - do your own.
* Food - you provide 2 dinners a week to the family
* House/Toilet cleaning - assigned based on your cleanliness.
* Curfew - 10p nightly
* Overnight visitors - none. If 2 people are in the bedroom, the door is open.
* Phone use - none after 9pm.
* Internet use - none after 9pm. Expect highly restrictive filtering. No porn.
That should be sufficient to get any man-boy to leave.
1. They didn't raise the kid right to properly care for himself outside the home.
2. They set themselves up for an interesting future when he has to take care of them in their late years. 'Hi Mom and Dad! Remember when you kicked me out? Enjoy the nursing home!"
However conditions for younger adults are much harder today then the past generations in terms of home ownership.
Home ownership has been overpromoted for decades in this country, and the reality of it is finally sinking in (not necessarily for this kid, but for our country in general). We have multiple cable networks that are still effectively acting as marketing outfits for realtors, hyping home ownership as an investment 24x7.
What is finally happening though, now that we again have a reasonably normal real estate market, is that people are finding they are not actually making money on their homes. You spend $20k on a kitchen renovation and then 10 years later you sell your house for $5k more than you paid; losing $15k in the process. On top of that you were paying homeowner's insurance the entire time, paying interest on your mortgage, paying to keep up your lawn, driveway, roof, exterior, interior, etc. People are waking up to the fact that houses are in fact really terrible investments. If you want to save money you're better off renting and putting the difference into even a CD (if you are risk-averse) or a balanced stock market account (if you are more risk-tolerant). But we've been told for so long that a house is a great investment, and a lot of people are stuck with that mindset because it was repeated as gospel.
Even people who are currently retiring and selling homes they lived in for 30+ years (having therefore paid off their mortgages years ago) are finding they aren't getting back as much as they had imagined. They bought for $40k, sold for $220k, which sounds great. Except they actually paid closer to $90k with interest over those 30 years. And they spent at least another $20k over those years on homeowner's insurance. They spent thousands on roofing and carpet, and lawn maintenance. They did their kitchen, bathroom, etc. The actual return looked like $180k but really was much closer to $30k once all this is deducted, which is a pretty lousy ROI for 30+ years.
Damn_registrars has no butt-hole. Damn_registrars has no use for a butt-hole.
See subject: I'm from Syracuse NY (live/retired here now last 18 yrs. or so + much of my life (except when I travelled for work in computing circa 1994-2000)) & grew up in the town of Camillus (near outskirts) in the country for the 1st 13 yrs. of my life - it bothers me to see a LEECH like this guy is from my town (& there's no question he's a prideless worm who is probably a drug-addict imo) + that he actually EXISTS - for Pete's sake, he's a DRAG on society @ large!
* I saw him on InfoWars/Alex Jones & was like "what a bs artist leach living off the system AND his parents, no doubt" - this is no young kid/teen, but a grown "man" (what I call a 'not-man' actually) - disgusting & UNBELIEVABLE!
APK
P.S.=> They're out there & worse than I've ever seen in a 1/2 century++ of life (more now than ever) & I can't understand a person like that - & they wonder WHY women don't want them? Please - lol! He's fighting for custody of a kid & doesn't have a job or source of income apparently - WTF kind of REASONING is that? You'll NEVER, ever get custody being a "ne'er-do-well" for Pete's sake (either he's stupid or is using his 'custody battle' (a losing one) as an 'excuse' & he kept constantly doing so - when asked "what have you ever accomplished" & he had ZERO (because he is, clearly, a LAZY zero))... apk
Parents have to kick their adult children out of the house all the time. Most of them use much more sensible and less costly means. How about...changing the locks on the doors? That's just a couple hundred bucks.
OF COURSE parents should do this sort of thing with plenty of warning, but it's quite effective.
Too many parents these days want to be a "friend" to their children. That's all good, but respect is even more important. If you've taught them respect and hard work, you probably won't have to kick them out in the first place. But if you do have to, you won't have to go to court to make it happen!
Two young men in my own family had to be shown the door at some point. There was no court case. And later, they both thanked their parents.
If we let Progressives/Socialists get long term control of all governance, then that will be the case.
Goodbye!
https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/3k4kaw/the-millennial-who-wouldnt-move-out-of-his-parents-house-is-tragic-actually
As someone who has had to deal with this on a personal basis, I kinda feel sorry for him. BUT, he needs to GET A LIFE.
I had to help with strongly encouraging my parents to kick one of my aunts out of their house, after a few years of her making their life a living nightmare. One of those next-to-useless nebbish people, still a virgin when she died.
One gets the feeling that "this will not end well" because he has obvious mental deficiencies *and* access to weapons. If I were the parents, I'd move privately to another state -- sever all ties and invest in something like ADT and guard dogs. Shake your fist at me from the other side of the moat, boy - you ain't getting back in. Ever.
.
== WolfriderV6 == I'm willing to admit that *I just might* be wrong... Are you??
All the talk about this-generation being so different than that-generation - I don't buy it. For me, it just doesn't pass the smell test. People haven't changed all that much. Yes, there are slight differences. One generation fought in a huge hot war. Another generation lived through a long cold war. This other generation is living at their parents home for a few years longer on average. One generation had the internet and smart phones, another didn't. One generation gets their news and porn on a screen, another has to buy paper-based magazines and newspapers from the local convenience store. Sorry, these are small difference in the big picture.
... their prospects were...... well, they managed to get by but it wasn't great. Most of them wound up in the lower half socioeconomically, although some of these people were success stories and made good by hustling and starting businesses, or marrying into success and money, or just being plain lucky, etc. Occasionally, people would have their circumstances altered drastically by things entirely out of their control - crime, accidents, physical health problems or mental illness. Across the spectrum, nearly everyone felt that they deserved better than their actual circumstances. Nearly everyone complained vocally about their situation and wanted to move up if possible. The underlying biological drive to find a mate and reproduce eventually forced most (but not all) young people to separate physically from their parents and establish independent lives.
Here's the big picture as I see it. Take "the greatest generation"..... 75 years ago, there was a fairly small class of people with good prospects, maybe 20-30% of the population. Some were born into families with money or other advantages. Some were intelligent and hard working enough to get college degrees. Most of these people did fine in the long run, although some did not and sank to the lower rungs of the socioeconomic scale. The other 70-80% of the population
Roll forward a generation. That pretty much describes the baby boomers.
Roll forward another generation. That pretty much describes Gen X.
Roll forward to the Millenials. You get the idea.
Roll forward another 200 years. I'm skeptical that fundamental human existence is going to be all that much different.
If not, then your story isn't that interesting to me.
for all their problems and it's typically the previous generations fault.
I am really tired of hearing how hard the current generation has it, how this is unprecedented and how it's everyone elses fault.
As a solid Gen X type, I can assure you the " Silver Spoon " life you think existed for everyone but the Millennial generation is a laughable idea.
Growing up poor ( those rich Baby Boomers right ? :| ), my only route to decent job skills were with the military as college was something only the kids from wealthier* families could afford.
The opposite was also true. If you were REALLY poor, you could get much of your education for free via grants. I know of a few who went this route.
So, I ended up giving the military six years of my life. ( First half of the 90's, you can Google what the US military was doing during that period. Made for some interesting moments. )
The lesson here is I ended up with the skills I needed to land a job ( which turned into a career ) with a decent wage when I got out, though it took me about a year or two of oddball jobs before they started hiring. ( About eight years total post high school before I ended up with a decent paying job. )
You might have to do some things you don't want to for a while before things get better, but understand that every generation has their own unique challenges to overcome.
It's called reality and it is rarely fair. You should probably get used to it because this is how things really are vs what you may have experienced or been told in your childhood.
Who in the world would hire this guy after doing a search on his name?
-jcr
The only title of honor that a tyrant can grant is "Enemy of the State."
If you watch the CNN interview of the kid who lost the lawsuit you'll find he eventually declares himself "a conservative" (when the interviewer pointed out that he is - and behaves like - a millennial. He doesn't seem to have any job qualifications, is self-absorbed, and has a fair bit of anger at the world. That sounds a lot like several people from the Trump Administration. He said his plan for success can't be executed "tomorrow" (for whatever that means to him), maybe he's waiting for a job offer from the white house?
Damn_registrars has no butt-hole. Damn_registrars has no use for a butt-hole.
Nature or nurture. People often argue which dominates but in this case the parents gave him both the genes and the upbringing. I suspect the parents are not quite right to begin with and they didn't give him the life lessons to stand on his own two feet.
I would bet money that anyone who saw them raising this kid knew that screwed up was a probable outcome.
I see this as one of those videos where someone is pulling up a tree stump with a truck plus a rope and the tree-stump breaks free devastating the truck. Same outcome; here we are making fun of the carnage.
No bullshit.
I left home at age 16, which was the age of majority in Canada in the 70's. That also meant you were legally an Adult before the courts, would be sent to an adult prison if you somehow strayed too far, but you couldn't legally sign a contract until you were 18.
I worked a full-time job pumping gas 4~Midnight five days a week (sundays and mondays off) and also attended High School during the day. Minimum wage was $1.10/hour; I made $1.25, which meant I could afford to pay half my income in rent.
Can't own a home, so you live with your parents? You've got to be kidding.
It seems to me that the guy has some mental challenges, CNN was wrong to make this into an attack on a generation and Infowars was wrong to (well, wrong about everything). The family does not deserve to have its problems dredged over by the press and used to for reduction to whatever stereotype they support.
Nullius in verba
I'm waiting to hear all about the entitled liberal millennials blah blah blah
Oh wait the kid is actually a Conservative.
Rofl
And no know begs the question as to why does this person feels like he needs to stay home? I don’t know the guy but personally I see some sort of psychological problem behind all this. Who wants to live with their parents for ever...
Came to read comments from crybaby, butt-hurt millennials. Was not disappointed. Get your priorities straight, losers.
Seriously, why on earth would this even be necessary? Give him a 30 day ultimatum. If he hasn't made plans to move, wait till he leaves to go to the store or somewhere, have a locksmith ready to change the locks, and movers ready to move his stuff into a storage unit. At his age, he's old enough to figure out to apply for assistance if he's unwilling to get a job. Or, go stay in a shelter and learn the hard way.
The whole idea of public education has failed. I think the artificially manufactured concept of "childhood" is utter crap and its created this untenable situation where even full grown adults lack the skills because we have outlawed the right of the young to gain said survival skills. Instead of protecting young people the laws we have hurt young people. We have thrusted young people into environments where they are prevented from picking up the skills needed to survive. In all seriousness I say get rid of the nanny state. We should get rid of drivers license, license plates, and laws prohibiting children from working. What we need is more freedom. Respect for others rights to be free from coercion (threat of violence outside of consensual situations) and unrequested violence or theft. If a young person wishes to continue living with there parents that's fine too- provided both parties agree. But parents shouldn't be forced to take care of there children so long as the state nor they hinder there child(ren) from leaving or working or driving or any other essential activity needed to survive.
I can understand people who live with their parents out of necessity or convenience, in my country it's not unusual for 30+ married with children to still live in their parents or in-laws home. I can also understand wanting for your children to live on their own (me and my younger brother both left home at 19 and I think it was good decision for all parties involved). But what baffles me the most is this guy wanting to have a cake and eat a cake. He wants to have their parents support, but refuses to obey the commands of family head. He wants to do what he pleases but refuses to take costs of living on his own. That's plain stupid.
Just listening to him afterwards âoeI didnâ(TM)t officially get the order yet so.â Send the sheriffs and throw him out on the street. Tough love is the way to go for anyone like this.
See subject: When UNIDENTIFIABLE anonymous coward "ne'er-do-well" YOU proves u did more/earlier/better vs. https://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=12157390&cid=56690448/ then talk shithead nobody that you are!
* Bitch, you WISH you were me (but you & "your kind", JEALOUS JOWIE? Never can be - you're a WASTE of life)
APK
P.S.=> ... & you KNOW it + prove it the more you stalk me by UNIDENTIFIABLE pussy posts of yours - why not meet me, face-to-face, so I can put you out of your misery pussy... ok? apk
People who have graduated college are, on average, more educated than those who have not.
Fair enough, they're not entirely unrelated. They're loosely correlated, which is certainly a type of relationship. You still shouldn't confuse graduating from college with being educated.
In Asian countries (I am from India), it is very common for people to live with their parents. For example, right now, in my home, my family of four coexists with my mom and my mother-in-law. In general, the parents live with their sons even after getting married, though I admit that things are changing with the Western culture slowly making inroads to the traditional setup. No, I am not saying that it is good or bad; just pointing out how economic and social conditions dictate what is acceptable and what is not.
PS: We don't have a 10,000 sqft mansion with our own helipad and private army. We live in a modest apartment :)
We all know in one respect or another, that things are pretty hard - it's not exactly easy for a lot of people to build a living and grow enough, to have a home for themselves - without at the same time being grossly exploited by the rental/housing market.
And generation after generation of people, play directly into this - and feed these markets, through kicking their own family members out like this.
The average family - if they all stick together - have absolutely all the resources they need to provide for everyone in that family, without requiring ham-fisted applications of the Protestant Work Ethic - in the form of kicking people out with very short preparation time, or time to learn a bit about life in the (frankly utterly shit and exploitative) working world.
It makes no sense to me. I truly hate the idea of anyone I care about, actually being stuck in the position of having to give away a significant chunk of their income, to some asshole landlord who doesn't fuck a fuck, just to put a roof over their head.
Seeing families and parental figures push people out like this, and think they are doing 'good' for their offspring in doing so, is utterly bizarre. The supposed economic 'morals' that people seem to absorb in western societies, are all fucked up and counterproductive - and should be replaced with those which aim to have all family members support each other, and try to keep all wealth/income within the wider family - not pissed away to some landlord.
It's really not actually difficult to achieve this, at a family level. It should be the standard.