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User: JonWan

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Comments · 309

  1. Re:'Murica, FUCK YEAH! on Ask Slashdot: What Would a Constructed Language Have To Be To Replace English? · · Score: 2

    This is why we now encourage our governers to run for president of the US. It gets them out of the state for a while.

  2. It happens... on Prison Inmate Emails His Own Release Instructions To the Prison · · Score: 5, Interesting

    The place I worked as a guard had this happen. We held inmates from a bunch of counties in several states. One of the PDs fax machine broke and they would go across the street to Kinkos and fax release orders on their letterhead. After a while they would just use paper without the letterhead. An inmates wife simply faxed an improvised release form and we sent her husband home. He got cought when he arrived because the PD had no release on file. Everything changed after that, a phone call was required with proper ID.

  3. Re:Yellow Alert on Most Powerful Geomagnetic Storm of Solar Cycle 24 Is Happening · · Score: 2

    +1 funny Red Dwarf, at first glance I thought it was a reference to "Closet cases of the nerd kind", but that's really obscure!

  4. Yellow Alert on Most Powerful Geomagnetic Storm of Solar Cycle 24 Is Happening · · Score: 5, Funny

    Shields up, take warp drive offline, give maneuvering thrusters and brace for impact!

  5. Re:Funniest headline I've seen all day on Star Trek Fans Told To Stop "Spocking" Canadian $5 Bill · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Try to use a "Spocked" bill in a machine. It's highly illogical to think that it will work."

    There I fixed that for you.

  6. Re:But... on US Gas Pump Hacked With 'Anonymous' Tagline · · Score: 1

    What makes you think it will change in 2018?

  7. Re:In the name of Allah ! on Gunmen Kill 12, Wound 7 At French Magazine HQ · · Score: 1

    I think someone should shoot this Allah guy and put a stop to this crap.

  8. Re:Child prodigies on Interviews: Ask Adora Svitak About Education and Women In STEM and Politics · · Score: 1

    She co-wrote the book with her mother.

  9. Re:America is a RINO on Marijuana Legalized In Oregon, Alaska, and Washington DC · · Score: 1

    Sure you can say fuck BOTH of them, I do it every election. I haven't voted for a democrat or republican for the last 15 or 20 years execpt for very local city / county elections. If there isn't a 3rd party running, that part of the ballot gets skipped. I don't care who is running as long as it's not a democrat or republican ( or those fake independants ) I'll mark them, I don't care who wins because they are both equally bad. I refuse to vote for the lesser of two evils anymore. The thing is, I make sure I vote! I can't wait to see a president elected with 20% of the popular vote, maybe that will get some attention. ( I might not live long enough. )

  10. Re:Dogs as compass on 'Why Banana Skins Are Slippery' Wins IgNobel · · Score: 4, Funny

    I wonder what would happen if you don't allow a dog to align north-south.

    You will cause a rip in the space time continuum and destroy the universe.

  11. "Isn't this kinda like....um.... perjury? I'm pretty sure that kind of thing isn't taken lightly by the judiciary. Furthermore, isn't it law enforcement meant to be role models for following the law?"

    You know it's sad when this statement is modded funny instead of insightful.

    I guess about all we can really do is laugh, at least until the general public wakes up.

  12. Re:Limited? on Lego To Produce Three Box Sets Featuring Female Scientists · · Score: 2

    Because no one will buy them, well execpt for collectors. I sold "action figures" in my video store, we would buy them by the case and maybe there would be 1 or 2 female figures in a case. These were almost always already purchaced by collectors in advance of us recieving our orders. Boys never buy female action fighures, and girls rarely buy action figures Xena was an execption girls bought both the male and female figures. If we ever had an extra female figure it sat on the shelf until some collector noticed it. So it's not a female hating conspiracy, it's just business.

  13. Re:That doesn't seem right. on 200 Dolphins Await Slaughter In Japan's Taiji Cove · · Score: 5, Funny

    Bender: Who wants dolphin?
    Leela: Dolphin? But dolphins are intelligent.
    Bender: Not this one. He blew all his money on instant lottery tickets.
    Fry: OK.
    Leela: Oh, OK.
    Amy: That's different.
    Farnsworth: Good, good.
    Leela: Pass the blowhole.
    Amy: Can I have a fluke?
    Hermes: Hey, quit hogging the bottle-nose.
    Farnsworth: Toss me the speech centre of the brain!

  14. Re:Theft is theft, but... on EV Owner Arrested Over 5 Cents Worth of Electricity From School's Outlet · · Score: 4, Funny

    We just shoot them and then call the police. :-)

  15. Re:Bullshit on Chinese Firm Huawei In Control of UK Net Filters · · Score: 1

    Sounds like a politician to me.

  16. WTF a monkey on Iranian Space Official: Photo Shows Wrong Monkey · · Score: 1, Funny

    In a country with thousands of nut jobs willing to blow themselves up for Allah, why a monkey. Just use a would be suicide bomber and launch him. They could have him scream Allah ho Akbar as he's launched.

  17. Re:First post on NASA DTN Protocol: How Interplanetary Internet Works · · Score: 2

    Nah, I'm in Texas we use furlongs per fortnight.

  18. Re:First post on NASA DTN Protocol: How Interplanetary Internet Works · · Score: 5, Funny

    Holy shit! that just blows the crap out of that joke. All these years on Slashdot and the one time I try to do a first post joke I really get first post.

  19. First post on NASA DTN Protocol: How Interplanetary Internet Works · · Score: 5, Funny

    The main problem is the long delay at light speed.

  20. Re:I'll bet it has writing on it that says on Curiosity Spies Unidentified, Metallic Object On Mars · · Score: 4, Funny

    Hello Sweetie

  21. Re:Yeah they did stop innovating on Who Cares If Samsung Copied Apple? · · Score: 1

    705,000 hits for "Kernel Panic OS X"

    I don't think that means what you think it does.

    About 2,060,000 hits for "Kernel Panics Linux"

    That is meaningless.......

  22. Re:gotta love it on Righthaven Redux — With a Difference · · Score: 0

    how about posting Jack Valenti's grave? http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=19109468

  23. Re:How would you register a downloaded car? on Pirate Bay To Offer Physical Item Downloads · · Score: 1

    It's not really hard to do. Just keep all records of where the parts came from so they can make sure that they are not stolen. Pay your fee and they will issue you a number to stamp on the frame. Check with your local DMV because laws vary from state to state.

  24. Re:You're not allowed to hate in America on Police Investigate Offensive Wi-Fi Network Name · · Score: 1

    Ever here of these people? www.godhatesfags.com

  25. Re:Theif soultions on New Cable Designed To Deter Copper Thieves · · Score: 1

    AC and RF only run in the outside layer of a conductor. It's called the skin effect, if the copper clad is thick enough the conductivity will be the same as a solid wire as long as you don't run DC through it you will be OK.