Seriously, the way I did this was by using a special/sbin/loader binary with debugging hooks that I made ("dd" is your friend: binary editors are for wimps).
-- Linus Torvalds, in an article on a dnserver
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Last night the power went out. Good thing my camera had a flash.... The neighbors thought it was lightning in my house, so they called the cops.
-- Steven Wright
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
If men are not afraid to die, it is of no avail to threaten them with death.
If men live in constant fear of dying, And if breaking the law means a man will be killed, Who will dare to break the law?
There is always an official executioner. If you try to take his place, It is like trying to be a master carpenter and cutting wood. If you try to cut wood like a master carpenter,
you will only hurt your hand.
-- Tao Te Ching, "Lao Tsu, #74"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Each of these cults correspond to one of the two antagonists in the age of Reformation. In the realm of the Apple Macintosh, as in Catholic Europe, worshipers peer devoutly into screens filled with "icons." All is sound and imagery and Appledom. Even words look like decorative filigrees in exotic typefaces. The greatest icon of all, the inviolable Apple itself, stands in the dominate position at the upper-left corner of the screen. A central corporate headquarters decrees the form of all rites and practices. Infalliable doctrine issues from one executive officer whose selection occurs in a sealed boardroom. Should anyone in his curia question his powers, the offender is excommunicated into outer darkness. The expelled heretic founds a new company, mutters obscurely of the coming age and the next computer, then disappears into silence, taking his stockholders with him. The mother company forbids financial competition as sternly as it stifles ideological competition; if you want to use computer programs that conform to Apple's orthodoxy, you must buy a computer made and sold by Apple itself.
-- Edward Mendelson, "The New Republic", February 22, 1988
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Good morning. This is the telephone company. Due to repairs, we're giving you advance notice that your service will be cut off indefinitely at ten o'clock. That's two minutes from now.
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
(1) Beware of lightning that lurketh in an uncharged condenser
lest it cause thee to bounce upon thy buttocks in a most
embarrassing manner. (2) Cause thou the switch that supplieth large quantities of juice to
be opened and thusly tagged, that thy days may be long in this
earthly vale of tears. (3) Prove to thyself that all circuits that radiateth, and upon
which the worketh, are grounded and thusly tagged lest they lift
thee to a radio frequency potential and causeth thee to make like
a radiator too. (4) Tarry thou not amongst these fools that engage in intentional
shocks for they are not long for this world and are surely
unbelievers.
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
The only justification for our concepts and systems of concepts is that they serve to represent the complex of our experiences; beyond this they have no legitimacy.
-- Albert Einstein
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Thus spake the master programmer:
"When you have learned to snatch the error code from
the trap frame, it will be time for you to leave."
-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
The Man Who Almost Invented The Vacuum Cleaner
The man officially credited with inventing the vacuum cleaner is Hubert Cecil Booth. However, he got the idea from a man who almost invented it.
In 1901 Booth visited a London music-hall. On the bill was an American inventor with his wonder machine for removing dust from carpets.
The machine comprised a box about one foot square with a bag on top. After watching the act -- which made everyone in the front six rows sneeze -- Booth went round to the inventor's dressing room.
"It should suck not blow," said Booth, coming straight to the point. "Suck?", exclaimed the enraged inventor. "Your machine just moves the dust around the room," Booth informed him. "Suck? Suck? Sucking is not possible," was the inventor's reply and he stormed out. Booth proved that it was by the simple expedient of kneeling down, pursing his lips and sucking the back of an armchair. "I almost choked," he said afterwards.
-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Except for Great Britain. According to ISO 9166 and Internet reality Great Britain's toplevel domain should be _gb_. Instead, Great Britain and Nortern Ireland (the United Kingdom) use the toplevel domain _uk_. They drive on the wrong side of the road, too.
-- PERL book (or DNS and BIND book)
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
"Has anyone had problems with the computer accounts?"
"Yes, I don't have one."
"Okay, you can send mail to one of the tutors..."
-- E. D'Azevedo, Computer Science 372
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
... Jesus cried with a loud voice: Lazarus, come forth; the bug hath been found and thy program runneth. And he that was dead came forth...
-- John 11:43-44 [version 2.0?]
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
"I am convinced that the manufacturers of carpet odor removing powder have included encapsulated time released cat urine in their products. This technology must be what prevented its distribution during my mom's reign. My carpet smells like piss, and I don't have a cat. Better go buy some more."
-- timw@zeb.USWest.COM
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
* This is complicated. Has to do with interrupts. Thus, I am
* scared witless. Therefore I refuse to write this function.:-P
-- From the maclinux patch
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
I have a switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything. Every once in a while I turn it on and off. On and off. On and off. One day I got a call from a woman in France who said "Cut it out!"
-- Steven Wright
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Real programmers don't draw flowcharts. Flowcharts are, after all, the illiterate's form of documentation. Cavemen drew flowcharts; look how much good it did them.
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
A certain monk had a habit of pestering the Grand Tortue (the only one who had ever reached the Enlightenment 'Yond Enlightenment), by asking whether various objects had Buddha-nature or not. To such a question Tortue invariably sat silent. The monk had already asked about a bean, a lake, and a moonlit night. One day he brought to Tortue a piece of string, and asked the same question. In reply, the Grand Tortue grasped the loop between his feet and, with a few simple manipulations, created a complex string which he proferred wordlessly to the monk. At that moment, the monk was enlightened.
From then on, the monk did not bother Tortue. Instead, he made string after string by Tortue's method; and he passed the method on to his own disciples, who passed it on to theirs.
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
God runs electromagnetics by wave theory on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and the Devil runs them by quantum theory on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.
-- William Bragg
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
-- Dave Barry, "Sex and the Single Amoeba: What Every
Teen Should Know"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
... Linux und seine Programme sind damit so etwas wie ein real existierender Sozialismus der besseren Art...
-- Christian Seel in der Berliner Morgenpost v. 9.3.1997
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
A novice of the temple once approached the Chief Priest with a question.
"Master, does Emacs have the Buddha nature?" the novice asked.
The Chief Priest had been in the temple for many years and could be relied upon to know these things. He thought for several minutes before replying.
"I don't see why not. It's got bloody well everything else."
With that, the Chief Priest went to lunch. The novice suddenly achieved enlightenment, several years later.
Commentary:
His Master is kind, Answering his FAQ quickly, With thought and sarcasm.
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
What the deuce is it to me? You say that we go around the sun. If we went around the moon it would not make a pennyworth of difference to me or my work.
-- Sherlock Holmes, "A Study in Scarlet"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
"A fractal is by definition a set for which the Hausdorff Besicovitch dimension strictly exceeds the topological dimension."
-- Mandelbrot, "The Fractal Geometry of Nature"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Slashdot Mirror
Seriously, the way I did this was by using a special /sbin/loader binary
with debugging hooks that I made ("dd" is your friend: binary editors
are for wimps).
-- Linus Torvalds, in an article on a dnserver
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Last night the power went out. Good thing my camera had a flash....
The neighbors thought it was lightning in my house, so they called the cops.
-- Steven Wright
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
If men are not afraid to die,
it is of no avail to threaten them with death.
If men live in constant fear of dying,
And if breaking the law means a man will be killed,
Who will dare to break the law?
There is always an official executioner.
If you try to take his place,
It is like trying to be a master carpenter and cutting wood.
If you try to cut wood like a master carpenter,
you will only hurt your hand.
-- Tao Te Ching, "Lao Tsu, #74"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Each of these cults correspond to one of the two antagonists in the age of
Reformation. In the realm of the Apple Macintosh, as in Catholic Europe,
worshipers peer devoutly into screens filled with "icons." All is sound and
imagery and Appledom. Even words look like decorative filigrees in exotic
typefaces. The greatest icon of all, the inviolable Apple itself, stands in
the dominate position at the upper-left corner of the screen. A central
corporate headquarters decrees the form of all rites and practices.
Infalliable doctrine issues from one executive officer whose selection occurs
in a sealed boardroom. Should anyone in his curia question his powers, the
offender is excommunicated into outer darkness. The expelled heretic founds
a new company, mutters obscurely of the coming age and the next computer,
then disappears into silence, taking his stockholders with him. The mother
company forbids financial competition as sternly as it stifles ideological
competition; if you want to use computer programs that conform to Apple's
orthodoxy, you must buy a computer made and sold by Apple itself.
-- Edward Mendelson, "The New Republic", February 22, 1988
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
The New Testament offers the basis for modern computer coding theory,
in the form of an affirmation of the binary number system.
But let your communication be Yea, yea; nay, nay:
for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.
-- Matthew 5:37
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Good morning. This is the telephone company. Due to repairs, we're
giving you advance notice that your service will be cut off indefinitely
at ten o'clock. That's two minutes from now.
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
The Commandments of the EE:
(1) Beware of lightning that lurketh in an uncharged condenser
lest it cause thee to bounce upon thy buttocks in a most
embarrassing manner.
(2) Cause thou the switch that supplieth large quantities of juice to
be opened and thusly tagged, that thy days may be long in this
earthly vale of tears.
(3) Prove to thyself that all circuits that radiateth, and upon
which the worketh, are grounded and thusly tagged lest they lift
thee to a radio frequency potential and causeth thee to make like
a radiator too.
(4) Tarry thou not amongst these fools that engage in intentional
shocks for they are not long for this world and are surely
unbelievers.
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
The only justification for our concepts and systems of concepts is that they
serve to represent the complex of our experiences; beyond this they have
no legitimacy.
-- Albert Einstein
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Thus spake the master programmer:
"When you have learned to snatch the error code from
the trap frame, it will be time for you to leave."
-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
The Man Who Almost Invented The Vacuum Cleaner
The man officially credited with inventing the vacuum cleaner is
Hubert Cecil Booth. However, he got the idea from a man who almost
invented it.
In 1901 Booth visited a London music-hall. On the bill was an
American inventor with his wonder machine for removing dust from carpets.
The machine comprised a box about one foot square with a bag on top.
After watching the act -- which made everyone in the front six rows sneeze
-- Booth went round to the inventor's dressing room.
"It should suck not blow," said Booth, coming straight to the
point. "Suck?", exclaimed the enraged inventor. "Your machine just moves
the dust around the room," Booth informed him. "Suck? Suck? Sucking is
not possible," was the inventor's reply and he stormed out. Booth proved
that it was by the simple expedient of kneeling down, pursing his lips and
sucking the back of an armchair. "I almost choked," he said afterwards.
-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Except for Great Britain. According to ISO 9166 and Internet reality
Great Britain's toplevel domain should be _gb_. Instead, Great Britain
and Nortern Ireland (the United Kingdom) use the toplevel domain _uk_.
They drive on the wrong side of the road, too.
-- PERL book (or DNS and BIND book)
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
"Has anyone had problems with the computer accounts?" ..."
"Yes, I don't have one."
"Okay, you can send mail to one of the tutors
-- E. D'Azevedo, Computer Science 372
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Convention organizer to Linus Torvalds: "You might like to come with us
to some licensed[1] place, and have some pizza."
Linus: "Oh, I did not know that you needed a license to eat pizza".
[1] Licenced - refers in Australia to a restaurant which has government
licence to sell liquor.
-- Linus at a talk at the Melbourne University
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
... Jesus cried with a loud voice: Lazarus, come forth; the bug hath been
found and thy program runneth. And he that was dead came forth...
-- John 11:43-44 [version 2.0?]
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
"I am convinced that the manufacturers of carpet odor removing powder
have included encapsulated time released cat urine in their products.
This technology must be what prevented its distribution during my mom's
reign. My carpet smells like piss, and I don't have a cat. Better go
buy some more."
-- timw@zeb.USWest.COM
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
* This is complicated. Has to do with interrupts. Thus, I am :-P
* scared witless. Therefore I refuse to write this function.
-- From the maclinux patch
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
I have a switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything. Every once
in a while I turn it on and off. On and off. On and off. One day I
got a call from a woman in France who said "Cut it out!"
-- Steven Wright
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Real programmers don't draw flowcharts. Flowcharts are, after all, the
illiterate's form of documentation. Cavemen drew flowcharts; look how
much good it did them.
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
A certain monk had a habit of pestering the Grand Tortue (the only one who
had ever reached the Enlightenment 'Yond Enlightenment), by asking whether
various objects had Buddha-nature or not. To such a question Tortue
invariably sat silent. The monk had already asked about a bean, a lake,
and a moonlit night. One day he brought to Tortue a piece of string, and
asked the same question. In reply, the Grand Tortue grasped the loop
between his feet and, with a few simple manipulations, created a complex
string which he proferred wordlessly to the monk. At that moment, the monk
was enlightened.
From then on, the monk did not bother Tortue. Instead, he made string after
string by Tortue's method; and he passed the method on to his own disciples,
who passed it on to theirs.
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
God runs electromagnetics by wave theory on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday,
and the Devil runs them by quantum theory on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.
-- William Bragg
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off
during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
-- Dave Barry, "Sex and the Single Amoeba: What Every
Teen Should Know"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
... Linux und seine Programme sind damit
so etwas wie ein real existierender Sozialismus der besseren Art...
-- Christian Seel in der Berliner Morgenpost v. 9.3.1997
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
A novice of the temple once approached the Chief Priest with a
question.
"Master, does Emacs have the Buddha nature?" the novice asked.
The Chief Priest had been in the temple for many years and could be
relied upon to know these things. He thought for several minutes before
replying.
"I don't see why not. It's got bloody well everything else."
With that, the Chief Priest went to lunch. The novice suddenly
achieved enlightenment, several years later.
Commentary:
His Master is kind,
Answering his FAQ quickly,
With thought and sarcasm.
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
What the deuce is it to me? You say that we go around the sun. If we went
around the moon it would not make a pennyworth of difference to me or my work.
-- Sherlock Holmes, "A Study in Scarlet"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
"A fractal is by definition a set for which the Hausdorff Besicovitch
dimension strictly exceeds the topological dimension."
-- Mandelbrot, "The Fractal Geometry of Nature"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...