I haven't even heard of a recent data loss or theft that involved a team of ninjas breaking in and stealing hard drives.
Ofcourse you haven't heard of it. They're ninjas. They sneak in, replace your HD by a death one and leave without you knowing it. How else would you explain HD crashes? So next time you hear the sound of a death harddrive, you'll know there is a ninja nearby...
This afternoon terrorist blew up a trash container near a shopping mall, a trafic light, a chinese restaurant, a fence, an abandoned warehouse and an empty shipping container...
It doesn't matter if they actually catch the right bad guy, as long as the blame can be squarely placed on the shoulders of somebody already in custody.
Well, Releasing the wrong guy and arresting the guilty one requires twice the amount of paperwork than simply keeping the wrong guy in prison. We all have to make some sacrifices for global warming, you know.
I've got an encryption algorithm on my email that makes it look like a p3n1s-add. I suspect you haven't installed the decryptor yet as you keep deleting my mails without reading them.
Basicly the mission requires two things: a launcher and a robot.
I've got a subscription to the Iqbot magazine so in about a year I've got the robot covered. Now for the launcher I'm going to need some help: send me all the rubber bands and pillows you can find. I'll need about 505 million and 4 rubber bands to get the robot into a decaying orbit around the moon. 5000 pillows should be sufficent to give the robot a soft landing.
Ofcourse the launch window has to be exactly right. This has to be Cowboyneals bedroom window, we might need to remove a few walls, roof and floor to accomodated for the rubber band robot launcher. And since we have to launch at exactly 11:23pm, some neighbours may complain about a bit of noise. This should be limited to about the sound of being in the center between 4 jet-engines running at full power, but should last only about 4.3 seconds. The ear ringing might last a week or two.
Ofcourse our research isn't complete yet. We are still working on the radiation protection of the robot, finding the cheapest sunblock creme isn't that easy.
But we expect to be ready to launch around newyear 2009.
Tear gas and AK-47s? I'll explain one more time:
First you weaken him with holly water, a supersoacker is appropriate for this. It's a good idea to open a window in advance to let the smoke out.
Then you hold him down with a few crosses. Have a few friends around to keep those in place.
Next you proceed by driving a wooden stake through his wallet. Classic literature mistakenly says you need to puncture the hearth. This is because the wallet is commonly seated in a pocket in the jacket of a suit, which may, for the untrained eye, look as if the stake is driven through the heart. But, as the experts would tell you, a demon does not have a heart.
Do not try to hurt him by playing Britney Spears 'music'. Demons are immume for their own deviced tortures. They do get aggitated by the smell of burned money.
One word of caution: don't let him get to your wallet. Once he touches it, he's got your soul.
Generally speaking, taunting mentally unstable people is a bad idea.
Exactly. And they'll probably take downmodding the wrong way too. *Graps Napoleon-hat* Now excuse me, I've got an appointment with my psyc~I mean, hair specialist.
It's just smart-ass-talk to say that your house became too small to store all the necessary devices, or to say that your ran out of outlets to power them.
Re:What was it running on before?
on
ISS Goes Solar
·
· Score: 2, Funny
Astronauts on the ISS have to train each day on those bicycles. Now you know why...
1) Trow secret smokegrenade in office.
2) Empty secret safe in secret suitcase.
3) Take secret elevator to secret subway.
4) Ride subway to secret airport.
5) Take secret airplane to secret private island.
6) Secretly enjoy your Profit!!!
Well, that's the theory. In practice it's more like this:
1) Take ordinary elevator downstairs.
2) Drive by ordinary taxi to ordinary airport.
3) Take ordinary plane to the ordinary Costa Del Sol.
You have to admit the theoretical plan sound much more MI-like doesn't it?
Unnecessary. You know those little lights on your electronic equipment? They told you those are just light emitting diodes. What they didn't told you is that those are actually little cameras. And Big Bill is watching you... And I really mean you Willabr. So put on you pants and comb your hair. We, members of the oppresive regime secretly installed in your country, have feelings too, you know.
Well, his punishment is correct. It's the time it takes to delete a mail multiplied with the number of mails he send.
Re:Extemporaneous and unconventional solutions to
on
MacGyver Physics
·
· Score: 1
Well, that's easy:
Straighten 2 paperclips and insert them halfway in your nose, one paperclip per hole. Now pull out the black cable on the back side of your PC. It may become a bit more silent, but that is normal. Next insert the paperclips inside the holes. This might be tricky since you can't use your hands (for safety reasons). When (and if) you wake up again, replace the cable and check your gmail. You might have to try this more than once.
Awfully sorry to bother you but is this the right queue for confessing thought crimes?
No this is the cue for people who commited the crime of being named "Mohamed". You may want to change cue, since this one is pretty long (all the way to a certain bay) and instead of a stamp you'll receive a beating at the front.
Slashdot Mirror
This afternoon terrorist blew up a trash container near a shopping mall, a trafic light, a chinese restaurant, a fence, an abandoned warehouse and an empty shipping container...
Well, you could always download an mp3 of those songs...
I was thinking about a whole-body suit. If blind people don't buy it, I suppose there's stil a market in the sex-industry.
I've got an encryption algorithm on my email that makes it look like a p3n1s-add. I suspect you haven't installed the decryptor yet as you keep deleting my mails without reading them.
Basicly the mission requires two things: a launcher and a robot.
I've got a subscription to the Iqbot magazine so in about a year I've got the robot covered.
Now for the launcher I'm going to need some help: send me all the rubber bands and pillows you can find. I'll need about 505 million and 4 rubber bands to get the robot into a decaying orbit around the moon. 5000 pillows should be sufficent to give the robot a soft landing.
Ofcourse the launch window has to be exactly right. This has to be Cowboyneals bedroom window, we might need to remove a few walls, roof and floor to accomodated for the rubber band robot launcher. And since we have to launch at exactly 11:23pm, some neighbours may complain about a bit of noise. This should be limited to about the sound of being in the center between 4 jet-engines running at full power, but should last only about 4.3 seconds. The ear ringing might last a week or two.
Ofcourse our research isn't complete yet. We are still working on the radiation protection of the robot, finding the cheapest sunblock creme isn't that easy. But we expect to be ready to launch around newyear 2009.
Tear gas and AK-47s? I'll explain one more time:
First you weaken him with holly water, a supersoacker is appropriate for this. It's a good idea to open a window in advance to let the smoke out.
Then you hold him down with a few crosses. Have a few friends around to keep those in place.
Next you proceed by driving a wooden stake through his wallet. Classic literature mistakenly says you need to puncture the hearth. This is because the wallet is commonly seated in a pocket in the jacket of a suit, which may, for the untrained eye, look as if the stake is driven through the heart. But, as the experts would tell you, a demon does not have a heart.
Do not try to hurt him by playing Britney Spears 'music'. Demons are immume for their own deviced tortures. They do get aggitated by the smell of burned money.
One word of caution: don't let him get to your wallet. Once he touches it, he's got your soul.
The Great Firewall of China has everything to do with protecting children: It protects them from being run over by army tanks on certain squares.
Not to mention that this proves the universe runs Linux. I would show you the derivation but I'm a little short on time at the moment.
Linux doesn't need a battery. It has /dev/nuclearpowerplant piped to /dev/computer
Good idea! you start working on that, and I'll start on the detonate-all-devices-remotely-hack-thingy.
It's just smart-ass-talk to say that your house became too small to store all the necessary devices, or to say that your ran out of outlets to power them.
Astronauts on the ISS have to train each day on those bicycles. Now you know why...
Their Chiefs secret contingency plan:
1) Trow secret smokegrenade in office.
2) Empty secret safe in secret suitcase.
3) Take secret elevator to secret subway.
4) Ride subway to secret airport.
5) Take secret airplane to secret private island.
6) Secretly enjoy your Profit!!!
Well, that's the theory. In practice it's more like this:
1) Take ordinary elevator downstairs.
2) Drive by ordinary taxi to ordinary airport.
3) Take ordinary plane to the ordinary Costa Del Sol.
You have to admit the theoretical plan sound much more MI-like doesn't it?
Unnecessary. You know those little lights on your electronic equipment? They told you those are just light emitting diodes. What they didn't told you is that those are actually little cameras. And Big Bill is watching you... And I really mean you Willabr. So put on you pants and comb your hair. We, members of the oppresive regime secretly installed in your country, have feelings too, you know.
Well, his punishment is correct. It's the time it takes to delete a mail multiplied with the number of mails he send.
Well, that's easy:
Straighten 2 paperclips and insert them halfway in your nose, one paperclip per hole. Now pull out the black cable on the back side of your PC. It may become a bit more silent, but that is normal. Next insert the paperclips inside the holes. This might be tricky since you can't use your hands (for safety reasons). When (and if) you wake up again, replace the cable and check your gmail. You might have to try this more than once.
So 1 in 15 qazillion?
hmmmm. allright. I demand 100 billion dollar or I start clapping...
/running around a tree, being chased by a tiger\
I....Need....That....Rock....Now......Please!
If you quote your father, at least give him credit, will you?
If he didn't raked it, the corpses might come visible again. That would be much more creepy.
Just wait until someone decides to think about goatse.cx. See if you still like the hive mind connection then...