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User: berenixium

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  1. History Repeating Itself on Microsoft To Release 'iPod Killer' at Christmas? · · Score: 1

    10 years from now, when looking back...

    'They had the same impact as MSN vs. Google'
    'Who?'
    'Oh, no one really important, mind's wandering. Hey, nice Mac mini...'

  2. Order Sixty-Six on Microsoft Talks Daily With Your Computer · · Score: 1, Funny

    "Commander Ballmer ... The time has come, execute Order Sixty-Six."
    "Understood, Emperor Bill. Right, lock 'em in, guys, it's remoting time!"

  3. The Next Big Thing on Microsoft Introduces Pay-as-You-Go Computing · · Score: 0

    Latest from Redmond's computer labs:

    Licensed Pay-As-You-Go-Breathing.

    $10 per 100 inhales.
    Exhaling is charged as an optional extra.

  4. Re:Queries on 'UK Hackers' Condemn McKinnon? · · Score: 1

    And then the Aliens will invade and bust him out. ;P

  5. I Will Never Understand Humans on Favorite Film Scientists? · · Score: 1

    Spock.

  6. Cheap, Red, Back-Alley Painted Ladies on Yahoo Defends Itself On China Allegations · · Score: 4, Funny

    Q: Doesn't 'Yahoo' mean Chinese Whore?

    A: It does now!

  7. The 53rd on 'UK Hackers' Condemn McKinnon? · · Score: 1

    I think that this situation demonstrates just how much that Britain is actually part of Northern America.

    The U.K. is America's Bee-Yatch. And a slapped-around-quite-a-lot-to-know-her-place one, as well.

  8. OMG on Korea Unveils World's Second Android · · Score: 1

    Bah! Now they are building robots that look more attractive than my past girlfriends.

    I'm gonna be rejected by androids!

    "So who's your dream date, Ann-Droid, Sir Clive Sinclair? Bill Gates? Professor Stephen Hawkins?"

    "Ewww, no way. Brad Pitt or George Clooney. Or Georgy as I like to call him, when he calls me on my mobi at the weekends..."

    "Bah!"

  9. Queries on 'UK Hackers' Condemn McKinnon? · · Score: 0

    What if he's right?

    And

    What if he actually is sent down in The States to 70 years hard time, after being ejected from his home country? What portent will that hold for UK 'security-minded' computer enthusiasts in the future?

  10. Re:Smell? on The Public's First Look at Wii · · Score: 0

    Bah! I was sooo beaten to that punch line. It stinks (the Wii, that is)!!

  11. 30 Years From Now on Classic Star Wars Trilogy Finally on DVD · · Score: 0

    Classic and Remastered together again... but with different cover art. SW is the Pepsi of SciFi - The choice of a (new) generation. :)

  12. G-Mail on Microsoft/Yahoo Merger to Take on Google? · · Score: 0

    Microsoft buy out Hotmail... Mail Monopoly begins.
    Microsoft Merge with Yahoo... Mail Monopoly continues.

    Microsoft and Yahoo release merged Hotmail and Yahoo Mail service called:
    Hot-YahooMailMonopoly

    G-Mail officially launched... our only hope?

  13. Re:IMHO on Developers React To 'Wii' · · Score: 0

    I'm trying to keep a straight face while reading your reply posts. It's all a load of Wii, as far as I can tell.

    Seriously though, I'm a parent as well as a gamer, and I'm not going to embarrass myself in front of my child by asking for a Wii in a shop. It's not the kind of thing I want to say in front of my kid. Ever. Or even talk about at home. So buying one isn't going to happen. I just hope Sony don't change their next-gen console's name to 'P3.3'

  14. Beggars Belief on Real Life Cash Card Launched To Access Your Virtual Money · · Score: 0

    "Spare Us a Few Virtual Quid for A Make-Believe Cup of Tea, Guv'nor?"

  15. IMHO on Developers React To 'Wii' · · Score: 0

    I do not like this name. As a gamer, I won't be asking for a 'Wii' over a shop counter. Nintendo had better shape up and get their act together, as I don't think that my opinion is isolated in this matter. Why won't they settle for a compromise like "iTwo" (too Apple?) or "Uss" or "Yii's" or "@ii", etc. The list goes on.

    It's so silly. What western development company is going to seriously develop a product that will be associated with taking a whazz / leak / you-get-the-idea and have that image attached to their 'good-for-now' name?
    Well, I don't know. Not many, I can imagine.
    I think things will get so bad, only in-house releases will become the norm, Mario Wii, Donkey Kong Wii, Starfox on Wii, and so on and so forth. Quake Wii, Doom Wii, and Warcraft Wii? Ain't gonna happen...

  16. Re:Waste of Paper on IT Certification Less Important Now? · · Score: 0

    By then it will have become a 'Super-MCSE' which needs renewing every 2 months. Scratch that, every week. By direct debit. But at least people will have 'super' after their last name.

  17. Joint Venture on World's Largest Pyramid Discovered in Bosnia? · · Score: 1, Funny

    Osmanagic has found the secret Alien Base of The Greys at the same time.
    E.T.'s and Pyramids, together at last!

  18. Waste of Paper on IT Certification Less Important Now? · · Score: 1, Insightful

    Who wants to pay for a M$ qualification every six months? I know I don't. If you really want to impress employers, get a computing degree, and perhaps join a professional organisation like the British Computer Society. At least then, you'll have letters after your name in a non-proprietary format, and be able to have a chat in a BCS forum when you feel like it. (If you want to).

    This has certainly helped me out in the past (especially 'whipping out' my BCS membership card in an interview). Personally, I'd feel embarrassed mentioning any M$-accredited qualifications to a prospective employer, but each to their own.

  19. Catchphrase on Scientists Make Water Run Uphill · · Score: 0

    Why do I get the feeling that this was done just so Journo's could write 'Scientists make water run uphill' as a flashy title on a webpage or in a magazine?
    congratulations, by the way...

  20. Ok on Nintendo Revolution Renamed 'Wii' · · Score: 1

    Can we have a time-out for a while. I've laughed so hard from your posts, I can barely breath (and I'm not asthmatic either).
    Right, that's better, time-in!

  21. Re:Lets put it this way on Nintendo Revolution Renamed 'Wii' · · Score: 1

    No, I'm never, ever going to talk about it to my family or friends / colleagues / dogs and cats on the street, etc. Ever.

    /. is about as far as this thing goes (and dies).
    If it is mentioned by fellow humans or animals, I'll simply slip into Dr-Evil-Sh!-Mode:
    'Let me tell you a little story about a man named Sh! Sh! even before you start. That was a pre-emptive "sh!" Now, I have a whole bag of "sh!" with your name on it.'

    Nuff' Said!

  22. It's Funny Because... Oh, You Got It Already! on Nintendo Revolution Renamed 'Wii' · · Score: 0

    *Giggle* *giggle* *snort*

    It's funny because it sounds like taking a pee-pee.
    No, really. Oh, right.

    Classics:
    Wii has a distinctive "ii" spelling that symbolizes both the unique controllers and the image of people gathering to play - with your wii.

    No need to abbreviate. Just Wii. - Ok.

    Wii will break down the wall that separates video game players from everyone else. - That's one strong wii.

    While the code-name "Revolution" expressed our direction, Wii represents the answer. - Go figure!
    Humbly announcing: The Death of Nintendo. I'm so sorry, were you close? If it means anything, they were put down for their own goof... erm, good.

  23. Scott Adams Style on Microsoft Offers Phone Support For IE 7 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Hello, this is Dogbert's Internet Explorer 7 Helpdesk. How may I destroy you?"

    "Please hold while I disconnect, erm, redirect you to the appropriate expert. Sucker!"

  24. Yawn on US Intensifies Fight Against Child Pornography · · Score: 1

    Whatever! a Politician will say anything to grab the headlines to further his or her own career, doesn't matter whether what they are proposing is right or makes sense.

    I mean, wtf do we know what he's looking at behind closed curtain's? You think the Feds will ever be knocking on Gonzales front door? No way...

    'Oh yes, officer, my twelve year old son was curious about girls his own age, that's how the thousands of photographs and movies got there on my hard-drive.'
    'That's just fine, Mr D.A., sir. We didn't know you actually lived here. Please tell your son to be more careful in the future. By the way, please burn down your computer and scatter its ashes into the wind. Have a nice day now.'

    Pur-Lease. Don't sensationalise the issue. Just find the pedo's and take them out / down quietly, so they won't know what's hit 'em. (Apart from repeated kicks between the legs with steel toe-capped boots!) 'Nuff said!

  25. Time Is Constantly... on The Future of IT in America? · · Score: 1

    It's only a matter of time before the crap hits the fan over sending work abroad, mainly because of the security risks. Outsourcing (and outsourcing customer info) to India has resulted in a lucrative trade in Identity Theft: http://www.newswithviews.com/Devvy/kidd34.htm/
    http://www.newsmax.com/archives/articles/2004/2/22 /170121.shtml

    And if the area of support is unstable due to war, disease, unrest, etc., you can bet your bottom dollar that productivity is going to be disrupted:
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/478455 4.stm

    *And* how long is it going to be before governments start raising taxes to discourage this kind of backstabbing, and encourage patriotism, by employers (i.e. taxed to a level equivalent of paying local workforces at minimum wages anyway):
    http://business.guardian.co.uk/story/0,3604,110440 3,00.html

    So, my advice is not to worry to much about the cheaper dollar payrate, and just go for it, follow your dreams! It'll all come to a head sooner rather than later, you'll see!