Domain: landoverbaptist.org
Stories and comments across the archive that link to landoverbaptist.org.
Comments · 115
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Re:Flying to the moon might turn out to be easier.
I recommend this entertaining quiz for more insight on how peaceful either religion is.
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Re:Before commenting, please remember...
You're thinking about http://www.landoverbaptist.org/
Yes, very funny... except to christians
... then it's not so funny. But who cares, they keep Cafepress in business..."Mormon Princess G Strings"
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Re:Back to the Future
I might have been marginally surprised, except that I already discovered that "In the Night Kitchen" is one of the most banned books in America (part of the "Where the Wild Things Are" trilogy, for some idea if you haven't come across it). And the bit about mad pastors supporting Sick Rantorum? Yeah, well I used to think that http://www.landoverbaptist.org/ was a parody but I'm less and less sure it isn't genuine.
Crazy Elmers...
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Re:Mind your sects...
If American baptists are fairly liberal and ecumenical, how do you explaing the Landover baptist church?
Well, for starters, that site is a parody.
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Re:Mind your sects...
If American baptists are fairly liberal and ecumenical, how do you explaing the Landover baptist church?
From their website: "We are a Bible believing, Fundamentalist, Independent Baptist Church." They are not only NOT affiliated with the American Baptists they are appantely not affiliated with any other churches, presumably being too radical even for the Southern Baptists. (By changing "American Baptists" to "American baptists" you were changing what the OP stated.)
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Re:Mind your sects...
If American baptists are fairly liberal and ecumenical, how do you explaing the Landover baptist church?
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Re:A fandom i'll never understand
What I really dont get is the hatred over the inclusion of jarjar as if Lucas had never stooped to funny critters to appeal to kids in the first trilogy
1: Jar Jar had a lot of screen time to get farted on by a space cow and to step in space cow shit, but cool lighsaber force-sense action shots were cut from the movie. Remember how Darth Maul launches a couple of camera droids, and nothing happens about that? There was a scene of Qui Gon sabering one in half and then rushing to ship, but no, it had to be cut "for time". Time that was spent on multiple Jar-Jar + shit jokes.
2: I have a "french kiss Jar-Jar binks" lollipop toy that I'm keeping as proof that they actually sold such horrible things.
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Re:From Jesux:
Reading the Jesux web page, it's one of those satires that I'm not quite certain is satire. It worries me when that happens. For instance, compare and contrast the Landover Baptist Church website with Chick Publications.
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In related news,Intelligent Design advocates urged
schools to instruct maths classes that "Pi is a theory, not a number", give equal time to all 10 alternatives of its last digit (the value of which they invited their critics to "simply prove") and make sure all books contain respective warnings as drafted by the Landover Education Board.
SCNR ;-) -
Re:How to avoid having your PC used as evidenceAnd then when they accuse you and can't find anything, sue the ever loving crap out of them and get it all over CNN.
Soverign immunity. You can't sue the government (or it's agents), unless the government decides to allow you to.
I say if you have nothing to hide ... leave it open, unencrypted and accessible.
I did. They still accused me (in front of my family) of a variety of charges, from pedophelia to arms trafficing and human trafficing. They also threatened to kill me, but that's a different matter. It took me over 7 months to get a copy of this so-called "evidence", and find out it was satire from theonion.com, satirewire.com, some gun pictures for a mod I was working on, and the Landover Baptist Church ("Christian Gamers are Leading Gnomes and Elves to Jesus! "). I had nothing to hide, and they still used it against me.If you give me six lines written by the hand of the most honest of men, I will find something in them which will hang him.
I ticked them off because I a) made them get a search warrant (how dare I), and b) didn't let them question me without a lawyer present. Because of this, I had my property ransacked (and a bunch of stuff broken), a number of things just "disappear" that weren't on the property report (small electronics, mostly), was threatened with death if I didn't consent to an illegal search, and had my name smeared through the mud. -
Re:How to avoid having your PC used as evidenceI wouldn't say I lucked out - I had one threaten to kill me if I didn't let them search my apartment (he pulled out a knife, said it was his "throwdown knife", and he could just shoot me and say I pulled it on him).
Prosecution was willing to make a deal, he called the officer. The officer said she didn't want a deal, and wanted a felony conviction, so they have been doing everything they can to make it happen.
As for the "sources" - one was satirewire.com. One was theonion.com, and one was This.Landover Baptist Creation Scientists have used Scripture to calculate every amount of payment except for the price of white females. Scripture teaches us that females are worth less than men (Leviticus 27:1-7), but since these are the last days, and the present economic and international situation is unbalanced during this time, we found it appropriate to modify the pricing where necessary. Members of the Young Christian Soldiers Program released these figures after days of concentrated prayer and meditation. We're also taking a big leap by jumping on the "politically correct" bandwagon here and announcing that the word "Colored" does not just refer to Negroes. It also includes Mexicans and any race of people visibly tainted by the sin of Ham (Genesis 9:20-28). And just because Negroes have smaller brains and extra bones in their ankles doesn't mean we should be prejudice toward their children. We are all God's people, even if we are of lesser value to Him because of our sex or race. Please note that the pricing table below reflects current rates as of January 17, 2003.
Note: this is satire - it's not a reflection of any personally held beliefs. -
How to avoid having your PC used as evidence
Well, having had my computer taken by the cops as "evidence", I've learned several important lessons:
1) The cops have _no_ sense of humor. Thanks to Fark, I had This, and This in my cache. Apparently, I'm now into terrorism and child trafficing.
2) EFS doesn't help. Microsoft's Encrypting File System doesn't encrypt anything that can't be broken in seconds with the password (and usually minutes/hours without).
So, especially for farkers, get TrueCrypt. It's free, and open-source. Then, get TCTEMP. It makes it so your temporary files encrypted with a random key. Restart, and they all go "poof". Then get TCGina. You get to encrypt your home directory (and history, documents, etc.) - it automatically mounts it when you login.
Use AES/SHA-1 as your encryption scheme, and pick a good password. If you're _really_ paranoid, grab Shred Agent (wipes files you delete automatically), and Distrust (a firefox addon that automatically deletes your history and cache for you). Nobody is _ever_ going to be recovering your data (even you, if you forget your password).
If you are looking for a quick, easy, fool-proof way to wipe your hard drive so _nobody_ will _ever_ recover _anything_ from it, make yourself a DBAN disk. Easy to use, and it gets the job done right. -
Re:Yes, optimism has survival value...
.... and belief in a rosy afterlife will make you live longer and pass on that trait. I mean, what's the size of an average Catholic family compared to the lonely angry atheist?
You are implying religious folks have healthier families than atheists, but atheists actually have a lower divorce rate. Do some research -don't just rely on your gut and tired stereotypes.
Religion % have been divorced
Jews 30%
Born-again Christians 27%
Other Christians 24%
Atheists, Agnostics 21%
http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htm
Of course, it is true that christians will have more kids just because they have so many ass backwards beliefs about contraception and abortion. But this also means that those kids are more likely to be unwanted.
While we're on the topic of whether christian families are more healthy than atheists, let me also point out that scaring kids into your belief system with tales of eternal torture is tantamount to child abuse (and it should be punished as such). Some christian groups go so far as to set up "hell houses" where children can be terrorized by productions designed specifically to scare children into mental submission. For example:
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1099/hellhouse. html
wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell_house
Christians have more happy families? yea right. do some research before running your mouth. -
Re:Certainly! We got lots of stuff for Kindergarte
They should spend their time in intact families than in the arms of the state.
Based on your link to Landover, I couldn't tell whether you were speaking tongue-in-cheek; but I was just having a conversation with my wife today about the homosexual persecution fantasy (even though homosexuality is the de facto standard nowadays), and that taking a stand for the nuclear family is a radical and violent gesture.
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Re:Not a fan of the ads
New Poll: Who plays "Linux" in the commercial?
Pastor Deacon Fred
"You can fry an egg on the devil's hiney, but it ain't never no-how gonna come out sunny-side up." -
Re:Penis.... er.... Data Envy?
This really has nothing to do with this discussion, but I feel it must be injected somewhere into it anyway:
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0899/jar.html -
Re:Crime increases rampant as new laws are made up
Looks like youre unsaved or you would know about Landover Baptist (where only the saved are welcome).
Lets see... you just called me
stupid -- debatable
bible thumping -- Yeah! Amen Brother! Go and visit my church at http://www.landoverbaptist.org/
neo-fascist -- I thought we just established I am NOT on your team?
*ian, *ist etc. -- Im not much of a joiner so organized religion is nothing for me.
a shitbag -- ask my ex out, youre a perfect match for her.
Here... let me try my hand at a downright mean insult:
I think youre from rural Indiana. -
Re:huh
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They are sad people without sense of humour
I just do not understand them, and I think they do not understand us. I believe it is human nature to make fun of everything, people, gods, nature, human behavior, nobody and nothing is extempt. In Europe and the Americas there are lots of sites making fun of fundamentalist Christians, their churches, ministers, saints and even gods, yet nobody is protesting, at least not at this scale. Face it, laughter and humour cannot be defeated!. My favourite site is http://www.landoverbaptist.org/, a great site. The baptists have a reputation of being fundamentalist, however, they have not done anything serious against this website.
Muslim people believe in some stereotypes:
1) If you are a real native (not an immigrant) from a European or American country you are automatically a christian. Wrong! I am from the Czech Republic, and, according to the last census, in 2002 60% of our population is officially atheistic. In 1992 only 39% of the population was atheistic, we can be really proud, in this respect we are the most advanced nation on Earth, despite all American missionaries we are getting rid of all religion and mysticism, at a rate of 2,1%/year, if this trend would continue, in four decades we would be a completely atheistic country (probably the expansion of atheism will stop, and we will reach an equilibrium value say, around 70-75%)
2) If you are a Christian you are very passionate about your religion, therefore you hate muslims and their god. Wrong again. At least in my country, most christians are not practising, they only go to church for batptisms, marriages and burials, they are too busy with their lives, have no time to think about their religion or god, they are christian because their ancestors were christian, they just inherited their religion, if their parents were muslims or buddhist, not christians, they would be muslim or buddhist. Because they do not think much about religion, they are not interested in convertinmg to another faith.
Face it, sectarianism and labeling people according to their religion is bad, look at Lebanon. The best thing to do is to get rid of all religions altogether, we are doing this in the Czech Republic right now.
Fortunately, with a few exceptions (Serbia, Bosnia, Croatia) most of Europe is secular, not religious, and hopefully will stay this way. -
Re:Bullcrap.
I see tons of pro-Christian conversations and Guild named all night long when I play.
You mean like these people?...
From their website:"I think the reason so many people are open to hearing about Jesus in the World of Warcraft is because the majority of people who play the game are lonely kids who don't have any friends. I doubt any of them play sports so you can pretty much guess that there are lots of gay boys and fat little pale-faced Wiccan girls on the servers who hate themselves and escape into virtual characters so they don't have to deal with their pathetic lives. When they hear that someone loves them, even if it is just the Lord Jesus Christ, they always want to hear more!"
If you think that was funny, try checking out the links! -
Re:Bullcrap.
I see tons of pro-Christian conversations and Guild named all night long when I play.
You mean like these people?...
From their website:"I think the reason so many people are open to hearing about Jesus in the World of Warcraft is because the majority of people who play the game are lonely kids who don't have any friends. I doubt any of them play sports so you can pretty much guess that there are lots of gay boys and fat little pale-faced Wiccan girls on the servers who hate themselves and escape into virtual characters so they don't have to deal with their pathetic lives. When they hear that someone loves them, even if it is just the Lord Jesus Christ, they always want to hear more!"
If you think that was funny, try checking out the links! -
Re:Bullcrap.
I see tons of pro-Christian conversations and Guild named all night long when I play.
You mean like these people?...
From their website:"I think the reason so many people are open to hearing about Jesus in the World of Warcraft is because the majority of people who play the game are lonely kids who don't have any friends. I doubt any of them play sports so you can pretty much guess that there are lots of gay boys and fat little pale-faced Wiccan girls on the servers who hate themselves and escape into virtual characters so they don't have to deal with their pathetic lives. When they hear that someone loves them, even if it is just the Lord Jesus Christ, they always want to hear more!"
If you think that was funny, try checking out the links! -
Re:Bullcrap.
I see tons of pro-Christian conversations and Guild named all night long when I play.
You mean like these people?...
From their website:"I think the reason so many people are open to hearing about Jesus in the World of Warcraft is because the majority of people who play the game are lonely kids who don't have any friends. I doubt any of them play sports so you can pretty much guess that there are lots of gay boys and fat little pale-faced Wiccan girls on the servers who hate themselves and escape into virtual characters so they don't have to deal with their pathetic lives. When they hear that someone loves them, even if it is just the Lord Jesus Christ, they always want to hear more!"
If you think that was funny, try checking out the links! -
Re:fr1st p0st
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Nice idea.
I think they should base one of the protagonists off this guy: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/sermons/christmas.
h tml -
Unreal Tournament ModIt's not a full game, but The Landover Baptist Church has already created the "True Christian® mod" for Unreal Tournament 2003 with a religious theme, check it out.
Timothy explained that there was still a bit of tweaking to do in order to put Jesus into a "god-mode" without allowing the other characters to be in "god-mode" as well.
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Unreal Tournament ModIt's not a full game, but The Landover Baptist Church has already created the "True Christian® mod" for Unreal Tournament 2003 with a religious theme, check it out.
Timothy explained that there was still a bit of tweaking to do in order to put Jesus into a "god-mode" without allowing the other characters to be in "god-mode" as well.
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Christian fundamentalist?
Greetings friend! This post may be a little offtopic, but it was just to abate the matter of Newton being an alleged "Christian Fundamentalist". Moderators, please have mercy...
I'll express all that I hope would solve the Satanic riddle. This pseudonym known as "Christian fundamentalist", intent on supplanting scripture is somewhat odd. If a man bears false witness of himself declaring such as "Christian," but by his actions is not Christian is he called a "Christian fundamentalist"? If there is any applicable fundamentalism, then it would rest on the compounded summary of the ten commandments and I show forth:
Matthew 22:35-50;
"[35]Then one of them, which was a lawyer, asked him a question, tempting him, and saying, [36]Master, which is the great commandment in the law?[37]Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.[38]This is the first and great commandment.[39]And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.[40]On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."
Jesus advocated the ten commandments, and with God-like precision he compounded the ten with two.
That Pope is not in the original estate, but as a "Viccar" (imitation). Comparing the Pope to Jesus is like comparing Tofu to milk. I hope you don't forget that Adolph Hitler was in the blessings of the Pope of his day. Any words and actions that are not in scope and premise of the ten commandments, even as compounded by Jesus the Christ, surely you have authority by God to divide the truth from the lies. It's no different when people are confronted for doing this by so-called "Christian fundamentalists"; they're full of pride, hiding behind a goodly name, and don't realize they are the Synagogue of Satan. Yet, none who claim someon is Satanic doesn't actually know what Satan is but by comprehending the opposite of scripture. I suppose that any Bible can be Host also to those in opposition to it, such as Landover Baptist.. -
Re:What Science Really is...
For a humorous look at the evangelical point of view, see http://landoverbaptist.org/. Make sure to listen to their sermons about science and "academialists". I wasn't sure at first that it was a joke . . . I wonder what that says about baptists in general?
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Re:Gotta love IBM
Parody? No, my friend. Landover Baptist is a parody. Betty Bowers is a parody. OBJECTIVE: Christian Ministries is not. Compare their merchandise. Read their articles. Christian Ministries is even trying to shut down Landover Baptist. Trust me, I wish it was a parody but it is not. Christian Ministries is one of the websites that are parodied by Betty Bowers and Landover Baptist. Unfortunately, some of the christian fundamentalist websites are for real. That is why we need parodies, to expose the real ones. Saying "oh, it must be a parody" is easy. Many dangerous things look like parodies. For me every website of scientology, homeopathy or acupuncture and touch healing looks like a parody, but are they? Or maybe you could somehow support your claim?
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Re:Great minds think alike. : Moving Dimensions
I think Mr. Ray is at the pinnacle of meaningless drivel
Then you have entirely missed the point of that website. You might as well say that Landover Baptist was a heretic church, or The Onion a disreputable journal of opinion.
Just because it's stupid doesn't mean the author is stupid. Feel free to learn about humor. It'll help you in the interactions with mammals. -
No need for google my friend.
Here is all you need to know about spanking.
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Landover Baptist!Landover Baptist. Damn funny site:
God Fails to Break His Own Record for Killing
Christians know from the Great Flood that God's favorite way to indiscriminately kill enormous swaths of children is by drowning them...
Take the Great Flood Bible Quiz
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Don’t panic
Please help. If you're not circumcised and are getting laid, please tell me how you do it!
... Thanks any help would be apprieciated.First of all, don't panic. Here is what you should do. Good luck.
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Oh, the complaintsWhen I first read the snippet, I thought "Here may be an insightful article on the intersection of religion and virtual reality games." Then I clicked on the link and saw that it takes you to the Landover Baptist Church website. Check out some more articles from them:
- Kids! Accept Jesus Christ as Your Lord and Savior and Get a Free PlayStation 2!
- Speak in Tongues in 5-Days or Your Money Back!
Landover Baptist Ministries puts its reputation on the line by promising to retain only 85% of the $2,304 cost of this deluxe one DVD set if you are not completely satisfied -- all you have to do is tell us you weren't 100% happy and pay the $350 shipping costs and allow the Landover Baptist Sin Patrol to scan your hard drive to ensure you didn't make a copy of this proprietary software -- or have photographs or movies that Pastor Deacon Fred has deemed after careful study to be offensive or sickening."
- Lucifer's Toy Chest
Leap Start Learning Table - Marketed to Caucasian children and Colored adults, this so-called "Learning Table" spits out lies about math, science and other secular bunk Christ-haters teach in public schools. We suggest you just start your toddler out with an illustrated King James Bible and a spanking instead.
- How to Prosper During the Coming Financial Apocalypse
8. Dispossess any children you even THINK might be gay before they're rounded up. Cut your losses now.
- What to Do With a Sissy Boy Who Says "No" to Sports
2. If your boy approaches you in a contemplative manner about giving up sports (that is, he hasn't quite made up his mind, but is just coming to you for advice), hold your hand up with the backside toward his face and smack him firmly across his cheeks repeatedly until he cries like a little sissy. This is called, "bitch slapping." It is a humiliating and extremely effective way of showing your boy that he is embarrassing you by acting like a little girl.
- Penis-Shaped, Talking Masturbation Teaching Toy Marketed to Pre-Teen Girls!
- The Easter Bunny: A Deadly and Dangerous Trick From Satan!
- Good News For Christian Video Gamers!
Unreal Tournament 2004® Bible Based Maps and Characters are on the Way!
UPaint Software was used to create Bible Characters like Jesus for the Bible Blood Bath Christian Map Pack used with Unreal Tournament 2003.
- The "Return of the King" is NOT About Jesus!
... had many Christians convinced they were going to witness the final battle in the valley of Armageddon. As it turns out, unlike the KJV Bible, the film is just a silly made-up fantasy story written by some old homo in England. - Book Burning Safety Tips
You guys can tell that this is a satirical web site, right?
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Oh, the complaintsWhen I first read the snippet, I thought "Here may be an insightful article on the intersection of religion and virtual reality games." Then I clicked on the link and saw that it takes you to the Landover Baptist Church website. Check out some more articles from them:
- Kids! Accept Jesus Christ as Your Lord and Savior and Get a Free PlayStation 2!
- Speak in Tongues in 5-Days or Your Money Back!
Landover Baptist Ministries puts its reputation on the line by promising to retain only 85% of the $2,304 cost of this deluxe one DVD set if you are not completely satisfied -- all you have to do is tell us you weren't 100% happy and pay the $350 shipping costs and allow the Landover Baptist Sin Patrol to scan your hard drive to ensure you didn't make a copy of this proprietary software -- or have photographs or movies that Pastor Deacon Fred has deemed after careful study to be offensive or sickening."
- Lucifer's Toy Chest
Leap Start Learning Table - Marketed to Caucasian children and Colored adults, this so-called "Learning Table" spits out lies about math, science and other secular bunk Christ-haters teach in public schools. We suggest you just start your toddler out with an illustrated King James Bible and a spanking instead.
- How to Prosper During the Coming Financial Apocalypse
8. Dispossess any children you even THINK might be gay before they're rounded up. Cut your losses now.
- What to Do With a Sissy Boy Who Says "No" to Sports
2. If your boy approaches you in a contemplative manner about giving up sports (that is, he hasn't quite made up his mind, but is just coming to you for advice), hold your hand up with the backside toward his face and smack him firmly across his cheeks repeatedly until he cries like a little sissy. This is called, "bitch slapping." It is a humiliating and extremely effective way of showing your boy that he is embarrassing you by acting like a little girl.
- Penis-Shaped, Talking Masturbation Teaching Toy Marketed to Pre-Teen Girls!
- The Easter Bunny: A Deadly and Dangerous Trick From Satan!
- Good News For Christian Video Gamers!
Unreal Tournament 2004® Bible Based Maps and Characters are on the Way!
UPaint Software was used to create Bible Characters like Jesus for the Bible Blood Bath Christian Map Pack used with Unreal Tournament 2003.
- The "Return of the King" is NOT About Jesus!
... had many Christians convinced they were going to witness the final battle in the valley of Armageddon. As it turns out, unlike the KJV Bible, the film is just a silly made-up fantasy story written by some old homo in England. - Book Burning Safety Tips
You guys can tell that this is a satirical web site, right?
-
Oh, the complaintsWhen I first read the snippet, I thought "Here may be an insightful article on the intersection of religion and virtual reality games." Then I clicked on the link and saw that it takes you to the Landover Baptist Church website. Check out some more articles from them:
- Kids! Accept Jesus Christ as Your Lord and Savior and Get a Free PlayStation 2!
- Speak in Tongues in 5-Days or Your Money Back!
Landover Baptist Ministries puts its reputation on the line by promising to retain only 85% of the $2,304 cost of this deluxe one DVD set if you are not completely satisfied -- all you have to do is tell us you weren't 100% happy and pay the $350 shipping costs and allow the Landover Baptist Sin Patrol to scan your hard drive to ensure you didn't make a copy of this proprietary software -- or have photographs or movies that Pastor Deacon Fred has deemed after careful study to be offensive or sickening."
- Lucifer's Toy Chest
Leap Start Learning Table - Marketed to Caucasian children and Colored adults, this so-called "Learning Table" spits out lies about math, science and other secular bunk Christ-haters teach in public schools. We suggest you just start your toddler out with an illustrated King James Bible and a spanking instead.
- How to Prosper During the Coming Financial Apocalypse
8. Dispossess any children you even THINK might be gay before they're rounded up. Cut your losses now.
- What to Do With a Sissy Boy Who Says "No" to Sports
2. If your boy approaches you in a contemplative manner about giving up sports (that is, he hasn't quite made up his mind, but is just coming to you for advice), hold your hand up with the backside toward his face and smack him firmly across his cheeks repeatedly until he cries like a little sissy. This is called, "bitch slapping." It is a humiliating and extremely effective way of showing your boy that he is embarrassing you by acting like a little girl.
- Penis-Shaped, Talking Masturbation Teaching Toy Marketed to Pre-Teen Girls!
- The Easter Bunny: A Deadly and Dangerous Trick From Satan!
- Good News For Christian Video Gamers!
Unreal Tournament 2004® Bible Based Maps and Characters are on the Way!
UPaint Software was used to create Bible Characters like Jesus for the Bible Blood Bath Christian Map Pack used with Unreal Tournament 2003.
- The "Return of the King" is NOT About Jesus!
... had many Christians convinced they were going to witness the final battle in the valley of Armageddon. As it turns out, unlike the KJV Bible, the film is just a silly made-up fantasy story written by some old homo in England. - Book Burning Safety Tips
You guys can tell that this is a satirical web site, right?
-
Oh, the complaintsWhen I first read the snippet, I thought "Here may be an insightful article on the intersection of religion and virtual reality games." Then I clicked on the link and saw that it takes you to the Landover Baptist Church website. Check out some more articles from them:
- Kids! Accept Jesus Christ as Your Lord and Savior and Get a Free PlayStation 2!
- Speak in Tongues in 5-Days or Your Money Back!
Landover Baptist Ministries puts its reputation on the line by promising to retain only 85% of the $2,304 cost of this deluxe one DVD set if you are not completely satisfied -- all you have to do is tell us you weren't 100% happy and pay the $350 shipping costs and allow the Landover Baptist Sin Patrol to scan your hard drive to ensure you didn't make a copy of this proprietary software -- or have photographs or movies that Pastor Deacon Fred has deemed after careful study to be offensive or sickening."
- Lucifer's Toy Chest
Leap Start Learning Table - Marketed to Caucasian children and Colored adults, this so-called "Learning Table" spits out lies about math, science and other secular bunk Christ-haters teach in public schools. We suggest you just start your toddler out with an illustrated King James Bible and a spanking instead.
- How to Prosper During the Coming Financial Apocalypse
8. Dispossess any children you even THINK might be gay before they're rounded up. Cut your losses now.
- What to Do With a Sissy Boy Who Says "No" to Sports
2. If your boy approaches you in a contemplative manner about giving up sports (that is, he hasn't quite made up his mind, but is just coming to you for advice), hold your hand up with the backside toward his face and smack him firmly across his cheeks repeatedly until he cries like a little sissy. This is called, "bitch slapping." It is a humiliating and extremely effective way of showing your boy that he is embarrassing you by acting like a little girl.
- Penis-Shaped, Talking Masturbation Teaching Toy Marketed to Pre-Teen Girls!
- The Easter Bunny: A Deadly and Dangerous Trick From Satan!
- Good News For Christian Video Gamers!
Unreal Tournament 2004® Bible Based Maps and Characters are on the Way!
UPaint Software was used to create Bible Characters like Jesus for the Bible Blood Bath Christian Map Pack used with Unreal Tournament 2003.
- The "Return of the King" is NOT About Jesus!
... had many Christians convinced they were going to witness the final battle in the valley of Armageddon. As it turns out, unlike the KJV Bible, the film is just a silly made-up fantasy story written by some old homo in England. - Book Burning Safety Tips
You guys can tell that this is a satirical web site, right?
-
Oh, the complaintsWhen I first read the snippet, I thought "Here may be an insightful article on the intersection of religion and virtual reality games." Then I clicked on the link and saw that it takes you to the Landover Baptist Church website. Check out some more articles from them:
- Kids! Accept Jesus Christ as Your Lord and Savior and Get a Free PlayStation 2!
- Speak in Tongues in 5-Days or Your Money Back!
Landover Baptist Ministries puts its reputation on the line by promising to retain only 85% of the $2,304 cost of this deluxe one DVD set if you are not completely satisfied -- all you have to do is tell us you weren't 100% happy and pay the $350 shipping costs and allow the Landover Baptist Sin Patrol to scan your hard drive to ensure you didn't make a copy of this proprietary software -- or have photographs or movies that Pastor Deacon Fred has deemed after careful study to be offensive or sickening."
- Lucifer's Toy Chest
Leap Start Learning Table - Marketed to Caucasian children and Colored adults, this so-called "Learning Table" spits out lies about math, science and other secular bunk Christ-haters teach in public schools. We suggest you just start your toddler out with an illustrated King James Bible and a spanking instead.
- How to Prosper During the Coming Financial Apocalypse
8. Dispossess any children you even THINK might be gay before they're rounded up. Cut your losses now.
- What to Do With a Sissy Boy Who Says "No" to Sports
2. If your boy approaches you in a contemplative manner about giving up sports (that is, he hasn't quite made up his mind, but is just coming to you for advice), hold your hand up with the backside toward his face and smack him firmly across his cheeks repeatedly until he cries like a little sissy. This is called, "bitch slapping." It is a humiliating and extremely effective way of showing your boy that he is embarrassing you by acting like a little girl.
- Penis-Shaped, Talking Masturbation Teaching Toy Marketed to Pre-Teen Girls!
- The Easter Bunny: A Deadly and Dangerous Trick From Satan!
- Good News For Christian Video Gamers!
Unreal Tournament 2004® Bible Based Maps and Characters are on the Way!
UPaint Software was used to create Bible Characters like Jesus for the Bible Blood Bath Christian Map Pack used with Unreal Tournament 2003.
- The "Return of the King" is NOT About Jesus!
... had many Christians convinced they were going to witness the final battle in the valley of Armageddon. As it turns out, unlike the KJV Bible, the film is just a silly made-up fantasy story written by some old homo in England. - Book Burning Safety Tips
You guys can tell that this is a satirical web site, right?
-
Oh, the complaintsWhen I first read the snippet, I thought "Here may be an insightful article on the intersection of religion and virtual reality games." Then I clicked on the link and saw that it takes you to the Landover Baptist Church website. Check out some more articles from them:
- Kids! Accept Jesus Christ as Your Lord and Savior and Get a Free PlayStation 2!
- Speak in Tongues in 5-Days or Your Money Back!
Landover Baptist Ministries puts its reputation on the line by promising to retain only 85% of the $2,304 cost of this deluxe one DVD set if you are not completely satisfied -- all you have to do is tell us you weren't 100% happy and pay the $350 shipping costs and allow the Landover Baptist Sin Patrol to scan your hard drive to ensure you didn't make a copy of this proprietary software -- or have photographs or movies that Pastor Deacon Fred has deemed after careful study to be offensive or sickening."
- Lucifer's Toy Chest
Leap Start Learning Table - Marketed to Caucasian children and Colored adults, this so-called "Learning Table" spits out lies about math, science and other secular bunk Christ-haters teach in public schools. We suggest you just start your toddler out with an illustrated King James Bible and a spanking instead.
- How to Prosper During the Coming Financial Apocalypse
8. Dispossess any children you even THINK might be gay before they're rounded up. Cut your losses now.
- What to Do With a Sissy Boy Who Says "No" to Sports
2. If your boy approaches you in a contemplative manner about giving up sports (that is, he hasn't quite made up his mind, but is just coming to you for advice), hold your hand up with the backside toward his face and smack him firmly across his cheeks repeatedly until he cries like a little sissy. This is called, "bitch slapping." It is a humiliating and extremely effective way of showing your boy that he is embarrassing you by acting like a little girl.
- Penis-Shaped, Talking Masturbation Teaching Toy Marketed to Pre-Teen Girls!
- The Easter Bunny: A Deadly and Dangerous Trick From Satan!
- Good News For Christian Video Gamers!
Unreal Tournament 2004® Bible Based Maps and Characters are on the Way!
UPaint Software was used to create Bible Characters like Jesus for the Bible Blood Bath Christian Map Pack used with Unreal Tournament 2003.
- The "Return of the King" is NOT About Jesus!
... had many Christians convinced they were going to witness the final battle in the valley of Armageddon. As it turns out, unlike the KJV Bible, the film is just a silly made-up fantasy story written by some old homo in England. - Book Burning Safety Tips
You guys can tell that this is a satirical web site, right?
-
Oh, the complaintsWhen I first read the snippet, I thought "Here may be an insightful article on the intersection of religion and virtual reality games." Then I clicked on the link and saw that it takes you to the Landover Baptist Church website. Check out some more articles from them:
- Kids! Accept Jesus Christ as Your Lord and Savior and Get a Free PlayStation 2!
- Speak in Tongues in 5-Days or Your Money Back!
Landover Baptist Ministries puts its reputation on the line by promising to retain only 85% of the $2,304 cost of this deluxe one DVD set if you are not completely satisfied -- all you have to do is tell us you weren't 100% happy and pay the $350 shipping costs and allow the Landover Baptist Sin Patrol to scan your hard drive to ensure you didn't make a copy of this proprietary software -- or have photographs or movies that Pastor Deacon Fred has deemed after careful study to be offensive or sickening."
- Lucifer's Toy Chest
Leap Start Learning Table - Marketed to Caucasian children and Colored adults, this so-called "Learning Table" spits out lies about math, science and other secular bunk Christ-haters teach in public schools. We suggest you just start your toddler out with an illustrated King James Bible and a spanking instead.
- How to Prosper During the Coming Financial Apocalypse
8. Dispossess any children you even THINK might be gay before they're rounded up. Cut your losses now.
- What to Do With a Sissy Boy Who Says "No" to Sports
2. If your boy approaches you in a contemplative manner about giving up sports (that is, he hasn't quite made up his mind, but is just coming to you for advice), hold your hand up with the backside toward his face and smack him firmly across his cheeks repeatedly until he cries like a little sissy. This is called, "bitch slapping." It is a humiliating and extremely effective way of showing your boy that he is embarrassing you by acting like a little girl.
- Penis-Shaped, Talking Masturbation Teaching Toy Marketed to Pre-Teen Girls!
- The Easter Bunny: A Deadly and Dangerous Trick From Satan!
- Good News For Christian Video Gamers!
Unreal Tournament 2004® Bible Based Maps and Characters are on the Way!
UPaint Software was used to create Bible Characters like Jesus for the Bible Blood Bath Christian Map Pack used with Unreal Tournament 2003.
- The "Return of the King" is NOT About Jesus!
... had many Christians convinced they were going to witness the final battle in the valley of Armageddon. As it turns out, unlike the KJV Bible, the film is just a silly made-up fantasy story written by some old homo in England. - Book Burning Safety Tips
You guys can tell that this is a satirical web site, right?
-
Oh, the complaintsWhen I first read the snippet, I thought "Here may be an insightful article on the intersection of religion and virtual reality games." Then I clicked on the link and saw that it takes you to the Landover Baptist Church website. Check out some more articles from them:
- Kids! Accept Jesus Christ as Your Lord and Savior and Get a Free PlayStation 2!
- Speak in Tongues in 5-Days or Your Money Back!
Landover Baptist Ministries puts its reputation on the line by promising to retain only 85% of the $2,304 cost of this deluxe one DVD set if you are not completely satisfied -- all you have to do is tell us you weren't 100% happy and pay the $350 shipping costs and allow the Landover Baptist Sin Patrol to scan your hard drive to ensure you didn't make a copy of this proprietary software -- or have photographs or movies that Pastor Deacon Fred has deemed after careful study to be offensive or sickening."
- Lucifer's Toy Chest
Leap Start Learning Table - Marketed to Caucasian children and Colored adults, this so-called "Learning Table" spits out lies about math, science and other secular bunk Christ-haters teach in public schools. We suggest you just start your toddler out with an illustrated King James Bible and a spanking instead.
- How to Prosper During the Coming Financial Apocalypse
8. Dispossess any children you even THINK might be gay before they're rounded up. Cut your losses now.
- What to Do With a Sissy Boy Who Says "No" to Sports
2. If your boy approaches you in a contemplative manner about giving up sports (that is, he hasn't quite made up his mind, but is just coming to you for advice), hold your hand up with the backside toward his face and smack him firmly across his cheeks repeatedly until he cries like a little sissy. This is called, "bitch slapping." It is a humiliating and extremely effective way of showing your boy that he is embarrassing you by acting like a little girl.
- Penis-Shaped, Talking Masturbation Teaching Toy Marketed to Pre-Teen Girls!
- The Easter Bunny: A Deadly and Dangerous Trick From Satan!
- Good News For Christian Video Gamers!
Unreal Tournament 2004® Bible Based Maps and Characters are on the Way!
UPaint Software was used to create Bible Characters like Jesus for the Bible Blood Bath Christian Map Pack used with Unreal Tournament 2003.
- The "Return of the King" is NOT About Jesus!
... had many Christians convinced they were going to witness the final battle in the valley of Armageddon. As it turns out, unlike the KJV Bible, the film is just a silly made-up fantasy story written by some old homo in England. - Book Burning Safety Tips
You guys can tell that this is a satirical web site, right?
-
Oh, the complaintsWhen I first read the snippet, I thought "Here may be an insightful article on the intersection of religion and virtual reality games." Then I clicked on the link and saw that it takes you to the Landover Baptist Church website. Check out some more articles from them:
- Kids! Accept Jesus Christ as Your Lord and Savior and Get a Free PlayStation 2!
- Speak in Tongues in 5-Days or Your Money Back!
Landover Baptist Ministries puts its reputation on the line by promising to retain only 85% of the $2,304 cost of this deluxe one DVD set if you are not completely satisfied -- all you have to do is tell us you weren't 100% happy and pay the $350 shipping costs and allow the Landover Baptist Sin Patrol to scan your hard drive to ensure you didn't make a copy of this proprietary software -- or have photographs or movies that Pastor Deacon Fred has deemed after careful study to be offensive or sickening."
- Lucifer's Toy Chest
Leap Start Learning Table - Marketed to Caucasian children and Colored adults, this so-called "Learning Table" spits out lies about math, science and other secular bunk Christ-haters teach in public schools. We suggest you just start your toddler out with an illustrated King James Bible and a spanking instead.
- How to Prosper During the Coming Financial Apocalypse
8. Dispossess any children you even THINK might be gay before they're rounded up. Cut your losses now.
- What to Do With a Sissy Boy Who Says "No" to Sports
2. If your boy approaches you in a contemplative manner about giving up sports (that is, he hasn't quite made up his mind, but is just coming to you for advice), hold your hand up with the backside toward his face and smack him firmly across his cheeks repeatedly until he cries like a little sissy. This is called, "bitch slapping." It is a humiliating and extremely effective way of showing your boy that he is embarrassing you by acting like a little girl.
- Penis-Shaped, Talking Masturbation Teaching Toy Marketed to Pre-Teen Girls!
- The Easter Bunny: A Deadly and Dangerous Trick From Satan!
- Good News For Christian Video Gamers!
Unreal Tournament 2004® Bible Based Maps and Characters are on the Way!
UPaint Software was used to create Bible Characters like Jesus for the Bible Blood Bath Christian Map Pack used with Unreal Tournament 2003.
- The "Return of the King" is NOT About Jesus!
... had many Christians convinced they were going to witness the final battle in the valley of Armageddon. As it turns out, unlike the KJV Bible, the film is just a silly made-up fantasy story written by some old homo in England. - Book Burning Safety Tips
You guys can tell that this is a satirical web site, right?
-
Oh, the complaintsWhen I first read the snippet, I thought "Here may be an insightful article on the intersection of religion and virtual reality games." Then I clicked on the link and saw that it takes you to the Landover Baptist Church website. Check out some more articles from them:
- Kids! Accept Jesus Christ as Your Lord and Savior and Get a Free PlayStation 2!
- Speak in Tongues in 5-Days or Your Money Back!
Landover Baptist Ministries puts its reputation on the line by promising to retain only 85% of the $2,304 cost of this deluxe one DVD set if you are not completely satisfied -- all you have to do is tell us you weren't 100% happy and pay the $350 shipping costs and allow the Landover Baptist Sin Patrol to scan your hard drive to ensure you didn't make a copy of this proprietary software -- or have photographs or movies that Pastor Deacon Fred has deemed after careful study to be offensive or sickening."
- Lucifer's Toy Chest
Leap Start Learning Table - Marketed to Caucasian children and Colored adults, this so-called "Learning Table" spits out lies about math, science and other secular bunk Christ-haters teach in public schools. We suggest you just start your toddler out with an illustrated King James Bible and a spanking instead.
- How to Prosper During the Coming Financial Apocalypse
8. Dispossess any children you even THINK might be gay before they're rounded up. Cut your losses now.
- What to Do With a Sissy Boy Who Says "No" to Sports
2. If your boy approaches you in a contemplative manner about giving up sports (that is, he hasn't quite made up his mind, but is just coming to you for advice), hold your hand up with the backside toward his face and smack him firmly across his cheeks repeatedly until he cries like a little sissy. This is called, "bitch slapping." It is a humiliating and extremely effective way of showing your boy that he is embarrassing you by acting like a little girl.
- Penis-Shaped, Talking Masturbation Teaching Toy Marketed to Pre-Teen Girls!
- The Easter Bunny: A Deadly and Dangerous Trick From Satan!
- Good News For Christian Video Gamers!
Unreal Tournament 2004® Bible Based Maps and Characters are on the Way!
UPaint Software was used to create Bible Characters like Jesus for the Bible Blood Bath Christian Map Pack used with Unreal Tournament 2003.
- The "Return of the King" is NOT About Jesus!
... had many Christians convinced they were going to witness the final battle in the valley of Armageddon. As it turns out, unlike the KJV Bible, the film is just a silly made-up fantasy story written by some old homo in England. - Book Burning Safety Tips
You guys can tell that this is a satirical web site, right?
-
Please tell me that people know this is satire
If one were to actually take a glance at the Terms of Service Agreement they would have noticed, "The Landover Baptist Church is a complete work of fiction. It is a satire/parody."
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In other news from the site...
Sign your kid up for Vacation Bible Gun Camp
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Re:How can America ignore the evidence?
That site is CLEARLY satire....navigate your way to the jesus anti-fornication thong" to convince yourself.
I'd bet money it's the same people who do landover baptist church which, btw, is ALSO funny as hell.
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DIY Circumcision
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Re:plone == evil
well, if it's 6666 it's not evil then, is it?
Well, if you chack the authorative source on such matters, Landover Baptist Church, you'll find any number with three consecutive sixes is evil. -
Re:Don't forget the Amish
Even Baptists have a website now!