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They're all a bunch of 16-year olds with long hair

Hey, I am 17, but I do have long hair.

Mountain Dew can marks embedded in their chin

Does Code Red still count as Mountain Dew?

living at home with mommy and daddy

Now this one is just plain wrong. It's a finished basement apartment. At least that is what Mommy calls it.

no job

Now, now, some of us mow lawns in the summer.

never had a date

Who needs a date? I saved up using my lawn job and got a RealDoll(TM)!

eyes more bloodshot from lack of sleep than Robert Downey Jr. after a weekend binge

Okie, so ya got me on this one.

who enjoy puzzles based on multi-dimensional quantum chromodynamics

I prefer building proteins with Legos, but to each their own.

giving away all their hard work FOR FREE!

I get 8 an hour for mowing lawns, wrong again.

WHAT F'ING MONEY?!?

Got me again, I spent all my mow money on the RealDoll(TM). She was worth it though.

Note: The above is not an accurate representation of reality.

The guy's a Mac user...he can get another girlfriend

No doubt. If he can afford a Mac, he can afford to replace his real doll.

Here ya go.

If only you used Firebird with the downloadable Preferences bar to surf with images disabled. It helps when you incidentally stumble into some questionable material at work or anywhere else. You can RealDoll all day and just see blocks in place of images. That is, until your sysadmin starts checking access logs.

Don't you mean real dolls?

1980: Do you have Herpes?

1986: Do you have AIDS?

1995: I have pepper spray.

2004: I have Google.

Oh well.. at least RealDolls can't use search engines.. yet..

Step 1

"The world's first singing synthesis software, Vocaloid, was released by Yamaha this month at the Los Angeles NAMM show.

Feh! They might be able to program something that sings better than Britney, but until they integrate it with something like this, Ms Spears' talents will continue to be in demand...

It sounds like you need to work out some stress

What, like these? Um, no. They're $5999, with robotic versions costing even more. Still cheaper than a real woman though... Sorry geeks, LOTR DVDs it is then.

What with the submitter's sense of beauty, perhaps the rather cynical suggestion of a case-modded real doll isn't out of the question? (smirk)

...give us the RealPorn!

Maybe they could use the RealDoll.

will they release RealPorn? if they're so interested in giving us what we want, give us the RealPorn!

Try this instead?

I was thought it was one of the main reasons there WAS an internet in the first place.

Don't forget about VCRs, camcorders, and the rapid advancements in simulated-flesh technology...

Perelman used the Ricci Flow, blow-up arguments, and surgery to prove the Thurston Geometrization conjecture (a theorem far more powerful than the Poincare Conjecture alone).

Uh, he's way behind. Why didn't he use this?

Your friends were cheap. They should have splurged on a Real Doll for you to splooge in.

I think you're thinking of this, you /. guy, you...

We already have ""fully automated domestic assistant". See Real Doll.

Sweet lovin...

a RealDoll

KY Jelly

96 Fort Garry Dark Ale

oh.. and peace on earth, goodwill to all.

Thanks!

"it was to a woman of my own design"

"WTF does that mean?"

Nobody desperate enough to make sweet love to a lifeless doll wastes their money on the old type inflatable dolls that everybody loves to poke fun at.

"forwards, backwards and sideways while carrying an adult weighing up to 60 kilograms (130 pounds)"

includes a picture of the flutist robot in concert

i thought they already had one, called the realdoll? :D

apparently they do make them with joysticks if you change your mind :).

The costs have to be kept low to free up capital for the forthcoming case mod .

The costs have to be kept low to free up capital for the forthcoming case mod .

The costs have to be kept low to free up capital for the forthcoming case mod .

The costs have to be kept low to free up capital for the forthcoming case mod .

The costs have to be kept low to free up capital for the forthcoming case mod .

The costs have to be kept low to free up capital for the forthcoming case mod .

Just persuade RealDoll to build a model with an enclosure for a controller, and it can be your robotic project and your girlfriend!

I like to turn my robot off when we make love because Im a necropheliac. Here is a photo of my bitch in the basement. I only turn her back on to clean up the mess she makes.

I wish I had a robotic woman to blow my horn. I guess I couldn't take her into the shower though :-(

Your wish has come true
USB.
Sensor enabled.
Motorized and articulated.
Disturbing.

Isn't it.

Poor sweet innocent lad.

If you believe that, you might want to have a peek at RealDoll (not work safe, i believe.)

Remember, there is no problem that technology cannot solve for you!

Borgs can be HOT! Ooooooooo....gimme that robotic vagina!

SEVEN OF NINE (BENDING OVER): We are Robo-B00ty! Resistance is futile. We will be fudge-packed by YOU.

(Unreleased outtake from Rick Berman's private unproduced Voyager Episode "Borgasm.")

Model porn.

Oh man, I better post this AC...

Oops. I guess that if I'm going to be a complete perv, I'd better do it right.

Of course, I wonder what the U.N. has to say about Real Sheep, too.

Well, you can find sex robots at www.realdoll.com. Kinda. Not really.

Well, if he's single, get him a motorized RealDoll.

How about a bendable piece of plastic with a vagina ? Sounds like a great answer for a poser, or a tool!

All hotties and no nagging!!!

www.realdoll.com

Or Real Dolls...

They could combine Cindy's "intelligence" with one of these...

Mmmm, a RealDoll in a 60's style stewardess uniform...

good golly folks, if you are really bored the FAQ section for these dolls is quite entertaining.
These things are more expensive than a fully loaded G5 (or equiv) !!

Does it come with a girlfriend?

Try here. They now have sensors, audio via ethernet (I shit you not), tan lines, moveable hands and "hip thrusting" available.

Now we need porn star and celebrity models with special "heated vibrating" functions.

The ultimate Geek Game Console.

it's a short, dangerous step from Bob the Builder to one of these gals. Great mascot, bad for productivity.

Good for you Mickey lovers, but I prefer a RealDoll any day my friends. You cannot have sex with mouse..

They need to team up with Real Dolls. I'd go to Disney World for that.