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All I got from that is that your brother-in-law has been Bad Touching you.

Incidentally, the last time I mentioned notorious cam-ho Kathleen Fent around here, I got Off Topic'd into the Stone Age. Let's see if memories have improved any.

Yeah, but only because asians have small penises. Kathleen Fent says he's average.

You could have indulged in your plumper porn fantasies anonymously by using Cheggit or Thumbzilla (if that still exists). You chose to marry one, so we all know you're into hogging; it's not much of a guilty pleasure if everyone knows you're into it.

3) Why so opposed to changing the icons?

Because Kathleen Fent, I mean Kathleen Malda designed them.

Kathleen Fent, that is, Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda's wife, is most definitely not human - she is a cow. If you would like evidence of this fact, look no further than Taco's Own Webpage. Check out the Photos section and have a peek at his wedding pictures. I don't think it takes a genius to deduce from this picture and this picture that Kathleen was most definitely wearing a plus size wedding gown. Look at all the chins! More than likely this is the reason she is not wearing a wedding veil during the ceremony; it would be difficult to pack the hundreds of chins underneath a layer of material that thin and make them look right. This is the same principal used in determining that Kathleen would most likely look revolting in a swimsuit; tiny bits of clothing look just stupid next to massive amounts of flesh. This is the reason why her wedding dress covers the vast majority of her body. Actually, in this photo, something bulges out of her a little below the waist. Maybe it's a penis! Maybe she's a bull!

I think it's safe to say that Rob and Kathleen should be divorced immediately; Shamu^H^H^H^H^HKathleen most definitely should be married to (or at least dating) CowboiKneel, as their weights are complementary. Just think of the fun they could have! The could hang around at Kentucky Fried Chicken and count each other's chins whilst dining on fried chicken skin covered in that brown gravy stuff. Kathleen might even win! But, surely enough, no; everyone knows that no one is as fat as Cowboi.

Moving back to the issue at hand, though - you can find more evidence of her species being that of the bovine type at Kathleen's rather dull website, sarcasta.net. Notice her obsession with "haybles?" These are frequently found in fields with, you guessed it, cows. Coincidence? I don't think so. The nail in the coffin proving her non-human status is the section of her website devoted to drawings of cows. Who, other than a cow, could draw bovine so accurately? No one, that's who.

In closing, I'd like to say that the fact that Kathleen is a cow just can't be argued. There is simply just too much evidence leading to the conclusion that Kathleen is of the bovine persuasion to be ignored. One thing's for certain, though - Taco will never run out of milk for his Wheaties in the morning, will he? Moreover, if Taco's alone with his wife and starving, he could simply take a chunk out of her and fry it up, creating a tasty treat.

Kathleen Fent, that is, Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda's wife, is most definitely not human - she is a cow. If you would like evidence of this fact, look no further than Taco's Own Webpage. Check out the Photos section and have a peek at his wedding pictures. I don't think it takes a genius to deduce from this picture and this picture that Kathleen was most definitely wearing a plus size wedding gown. Look at all the chins! More than likely this is the reason she is not wearing a wedding veil during the ceremony; it would be difficult to pack the hundreds of chins underneath a layer of material that thin and make them look right. This is the same principal used in determining that Kathleen would most likely look revolting in a swimsuit; tiny bits of clothing look just stupid next to massive amounts of flesh. This is the reason why her wedding dress covers the vast majority of her body. Actually, in this photo, something bulges out of her a little below the waist. Maybe it's a penis! Maybe she's a bull!

I think it's safe to say that Rob and Kathleen should be divorced immediately; Shamu^H^H^H^H^HKathleen most definitely should be married to (or at least dating) CowboiKneel, as their weights are complementary. Just think of the fun they could have! The could hang around at Kentucky Fried Chicken and count each other's chins whilst dining on fried chicken skin covered in that brown gravy stuff. Kathleen might even win! But, surely enough, no; everyone knows that no one is as fat as Cowboi.

Moving back to the issue at hand, though - you can find more evidence of her species being that of the bovine type at Kathleen's rather dull website, sarcasta.net. Notice her obsession with "haybles?" These are frequently found in fields with, you guessed it, cows. Coincidence? I don't think so. The nail in the coffin proving her non-human status is the section of her website devoted to drawings of cows. Who, other than a cow, could draw bovine so accurately? No one, that's who.

In closing, I'd like to say that the fact that Kathleen is a cow just can't be argued. There is simply just too much evidence leading to the conclusion that Kathleen is of the bovine persuasion to be ignored. One thing's for certain, though - Taco will never run out of milk for his Wheaties in the morning, will he? Moreover, if Taco's alone with his wife and starving, he could simply take a chunk out of her and fry it up, creating a tasty treat.

Kathleen Fent, that is, Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda's wife, is most definitely not human - she is a cow. If you would like evidence of this fact, look no further than Taco's Own Webpage. Check out the Photos section and have a peek at his wedding pictures. I don't think it takes a genius to deduce from this picture and this picture that Kathleen was most definitely wearing a plus size wedding gown. Look at all the chins! More than likely this is the reason she is not wearing a wedding veil during the ceremony; it would be difficult to pack the hundreds of chins underneath a layer of material that thin and make them look right. This is the same principal used in determining that Kathleen would most likely look revolting in a swimsuit; tiny bits of clothing look just stupid next to massive amounts of flesh. This is the reason why her wedding dress covers the vast majority of her body. Actually, in this photo, something bulges out of her a little below the waist. Maybe it's a penis! Maybe she's a bull!

I think it's safe to say that Rob and Kathleen should be divorced immediately; Shamu^H^H^H^H^HKathleen most definitely should be married to (or at least dating) CowboiKneel, as their weights are complementary. Just think of the fun they could have! The could hang around at Kentucky Fried Chicken and count each other's chins whilst dining on fried chicken skin covered in that brown gravy stuff. Kathleen might even win! But, surely enough, no; everyone knows that no one is as fat as Cowboi.

Moving back to the issue at hand, though - you can find more evidence of her species being that of the bovine type at Kathleen's rather dull website, sarcasta.net. Notice her obsession with "haybles?" These are frequently found in fields with, you guessed it, cows. Coincidence? I don't think so. The nail in the coffin proving her non-human status is the section of her website devoted to drawings of cows. Who, other than a cow, could draw bovine so accurately? No one, that's who.

In closing, I'd like to say that the fact that Kathleen is a cow just can't be argued. There is simply just too much evidence leading to the conclusion that Kathleen is of the bovine persuasion to be ignored. One thing's for certain, though - Taco will never run out of milk for his Wheaties in the morning, will he? Moreover, if Taco's alone with his wife and starving, he could simply take a chunk out of her and fry it up, creating a tasty treat.

Hey, if you could get it up for THAT, you're a better man than most!

BeOS is as dead as BSD or Malda & Fent's sex life. Love, -gasjews & turkback

Am I the only one who actually moused over the links?

ThinkGeek writes "ThinkGeek ThinkGeek ThinkgEEk ThinkGeek! ThinkGeek ThinkGeek THINK geek think GeEk thinkgEek.

(If you don't have the linky-checky-in-brackets thing on, the links are actually to cmdrtaco.net, fark.com, randomdialogue.net, penny-arcade.com, deansplanet.com, mccarthy.vg, cowboyneal.org, homestarrunner.com, and sarcasta.net)

Speak to the REAL boss.

holy shit, look at this woman's teeth!

Kathleen's site seems like it has also been slashdotted. Google cache

You mean Kathleen "Pipe fitter lips" Malda?

Congratulations CmdrTaco!!! Your Mule must be proud!

Look at these choppers
You know they are a draggin'
Buy that girl braces!

Look at these choppers
You know they are a draggin'
Buy that girl braces!

Its not very often that a piece of mail arrives in my snail mail box that I actually read, but when this envelope arrived, I had to open it. It was labeled with enticing comments like "What do women want" in a font that spanned almost the entire height of the envelope on both sides. And since Dragonball Z wasn't on for another 5 minutes, I opened it. If only I had known.

Now I'm not sure what I bought where that allowed my name to fall into the clutches of the warped corporation that sent this letter to me. I suspect that it was that copy of 'Girls Gone Wild' purchased one evening after 6 shots of whiskey, while watching Howard Stern on E! with Kurt The Pope and Sarcasta (Don't get it. Its horrible. After 60 seconds, it becomes remarkably similiar to pulling teeth as a "Real Girl" after "Real Girl" takes it off for a crowd of learing men. "Real" is code for "won't ever be in a magazine accused of exploiting women". The only really attractive women are the ones you've already seen in the ads. And when you add this soundtrack, it just makes it all seem evil).

So at this point, I've made the fatal mistake: I've opened the letter. never do that! They start fast and hard by attacking my belief system and forcing me to question my own manhood. Now I've never been particularly concerned in this dept. But here's the thing: even John Holmes would've been curious about this. He would open this package and think "Hrm, 2 extra inches! Why, that'd be nifty" and immediately order a case of LONGitude. And odds are it'd work and he'd end up gaining another foot and killing some poor chick on the set. Thank god LONGitude didn't exist in the 70s or there would have been a lot less porno, and lot more "John Holmes Kills Again" headlines.

So being good marketroids, they take things that I considered conventional wisdom, and they attack them in a carefully planned campaign designed to destroy any chance of ever having any sort of pride in my own sexuality again. In fact, if these statistics are true, I'm embarassed for our whole gender:

• 85% of women say they NEVER achieve an orgasm during sex...
• 72% of women said they FAKED orgasms they never had..
• 67% of women say they're UNHAPPY with their lover's penis size...

Sorry. Got a little out of hand there. I'm back now.

Now I am a college graduate. This doesn't make me smart: frankly, I'm not exactly sure how I managed to graduate in the first place. I just skipped 1 class less then allowed, and managed to squeeze by, setting records in "Collegiate Minimilaism" (this works really well in art. Less well in history). But during my academic sentence, I managed to take a whole biology class and its required lab. I learned much in these classes about biology, but even more important, they taught us all about "The Scientific Method (lather, rinse, repeat.)". This means that I can't just make stuff up and have it be true (as evidenced by the large number of "C's" I got in my labs). I mean, at first glance, this looks good: Its from a "Former Viagra Pharmacist". I mean, they don't say which viagra pharmacist, but if he's anything like my old pharmacist, he's like 50, and he hates it when you spend to much time playing tag in his store and reading his baseball card price lists without paying for them. This man is most definitely qualified to invent a Scientific Breakthrough like LONGitude.

Obviously he doesn't get much: the sad little white jacket is proof enough that he ain't a big hit with the ladies. So he's got incentive. Plus he works at a pharmacy. LONGitude's marketing materials explain that their product is 100% safe and natural, and contains Zinc, 300 Yohimbe, Maca, Catuaba, Muira Pauma, Oyster Meat, I-Arginee, Oat Stra, Nettle Leaf, Cayenne, Pumpkin Seed, Sarsaparilla, Orchic Substance, Licorice Root, Astragalus, Tribulus, Boron, and Ginseng. I bet this bored pharmacist has access to many of these chemicals, and since its not like it takes all day to give dirty looks to the teenagers that buy birth control and condoms. He would still have plenty of time to try every conceivably combination of these substances until he discovers the one that makes his dick bigger. I mean, with that many chemicals, one combination practically has to do it, so at least he had a goal.

So I'm sure you're thinking to yourself, 'So all this does is make my dick bigger?'. But NO thats not ALL. It has OTHER features that are just as important... the following features are quoted directly from the marketing materials, as I am not creative enough to actually concoct this stuff myself:

Strengthen and harden your erections like a length of STEEL PIPE! what exactly does this mean? My grammar resolution engine is confused by this sentance. And my grammar resolution engine is really generous all things considered, as evidenced by the fact that I ran this column through babelfish it came out in german for gods sake! What a shitty grammar checker!
Develop your PC Muscle to form a truly "muscular" looking penis that will impress and arouse your lover. I guarantee they'll brag to their friends. First off, I'm kind of opposed to developing a muscular looking anything. Second, I didn't know that there was an aesthetic for a muscular looking penis, and finally, I don't want my "lover" talking about my manhood to anyone (except girls who refused to date me in high school. She may brag to them all she wants). But now that I know there is an aesthetic that my penis should strive for, I have another part of my body to be embarassed about. And I thought it was just my bad haircut, beer gut, and teeth.

Enlarge your penis 1-4" or more AT HOME, without vacuum pumps, weights, or surgery. OR MORE! ADDING MORE THEN 4 INCHES?! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! OH MY GOD! FOUR FUCKING INCHES?! WHAT SORT OF CRAZY FOOL WOULD WOULD ATTEMPT TO ADD MORE THEN FOUR INCHES ONTO THEIR DICK! WHAT THE FUCK! ARE LOOKING FOR FUCKING RETARDS HERE?! ISN'T ENOUGH ENOUGH!? STOP THIS CRAZINESS!

Intensify your orgasms So you're telling me that this miracle herbal breakthrough will not only give me a wang that would make porn stars envious, but it will make orgasms better? Lets be honest here: there isn't much on this planet better then an orgasm in the first place. Telling me you can make them better is like like saying you figured out how to make heroin more pure, or removed the annoying sportscaster commentary from battlebots leaving only robots doing battle for the full 30 minutes, without commercials or annoying banter from lame broadcasters who weren't cool enough to compete with Dennis Miller.

And much, much more! Like what? Global peace and harmony? A recording contract with Sony for 3 albums with a multi-million dollar signing bonus? Sex with Jennifer Aniston (note: not year 2000 Jennifer Aniston as fucked by Brad Pitt, I'm talking about 1995 Jennifer Aniston, as nipples scene each week on "Friends"). But really, haven't you offered me enough? Length, Girth, Intensification, A bragging Girlfriend, and a more aesthetically pleasing muscular dick? What more could you provide? Could my semen taste like chocolate, or maybe be 100% pure liquid gold that I could sell on the market for a grand a jizz? I have to say that I suspect that I speak for all recipients of this random mass mailing when I say "No LONGitude, you've done enough. Thanks. But there's just no need for you to give me 'Much Much More' for this 'Low Price'".

With great power also comes greater responsibilities. 'CP Direct- Creators of LONGitutude' warn you that if you continue to take this miracle breakthrough in herbal medicine, you will continue to grow. They warn you not to grow beyond 9 inches because you will start damaging your dates! This is a fair warning: you just know some dude who burned his dick with scalding lethal McDonalds Coffee will overgrow his penis and impale some girl on his 17 inch piece, and he'll sue. And win. This is America, land of the free, where we should all be entitled to 17" cocks without fear of lawsuits.

8===========D

8===D

This diagram shows to scale just how much bigger LONGitude claims it can make you.

1. Your penis is small.
2. You thought LONGitude was a worthy investment towards solving #1
3. Your penis is still small.
4. You are fucking cheap and willing to swallow the embarassment of admitting all of the above just to reclaim your sixty bucks, even tho any male with one drop of self respect would simply forget the 60 bucks to save himself the embarassment of admitting that he is stupid, cheap and has a small dick.

He explains us that his drug will make the chambers of erectile tissue larger. Now I don't know about you, but I'm thinking of a balloon here, and what happens when you plug it into the helium machine and hold the lever down a little to long: yup, thats right. The balloon explodes and coats the room with a fine layer of human blood. I can't think of anything less sexy then having your dick explode, and coating you, your lover, and most importantly of all: your bedsheets with a mixture of seman, erectile tissue, and dozens of natural chemicals mixed together by former viagra pharmacists.

I hate doing laundry, and if your dick blows up on your "Lover", I'm willing to bet that not only will she never ever have sexual relations with you, but she will not speak a single word to you ever again. And believe you me, you will most definitely not scrub the erectile tissue out of your sheets... and that stuff just isn't gonna come out either.

Now I don't think that LONGitude would work any more then a penis pump. But I also have never tried a penis pump. And I know that there is a market for these things since I've seen them regularly at novelty shops next to the 14 inch double ended jet black vibrating dildo. However the fact that things like this exist proves that there is a market of people who would be willing to send their $59.95 to these guys. I considered it. Not for me of course. Purely in the name of science, I wanted to administer it to Kurt The Pope and Ryan the Felon before I risking my own genitals. After no deliberation, they both said no. Fuckers. This is science we're talking about. Maybe I should explain the scientific method to them again. I doubt it would matter... Dragonball Z is on. Its pretty tough to talk them into anything while Dragonball Z is on.

• 85% of women say they NEVER achieve an orgasm during sex...
• 72% of women said they FAKED orgasms they never had..
• 67% of women say they're UNHAPPY with their lover's penis size...

8===========D
8===D
This diagram shows to scale just how much bigger LONGitude claims it can make you.

1. Your penis is small.
2. You thought LONGitude was a worthy investment towards solving #1
3. Your penis is still small.
4. You are fucking cheap and willing to swallow the embarassment of admitting all of the above just to reclaim your sixty bucks, even tho any male with one drop of self respect would simply forget the 60 bucks to save himself the embarassment of admitting that he is stupid, cheap and has a small dick.

If, by saying "Fuck Linux" you mean sticking it in that fat little penguin, I'm all for it. Note that I am not referring to this toothy little bundle of chub, though I would jizz on her tits if she begged me to.

----

CowboyNeal (by The Messenger)

A mountain of fat,
butt cheeks jiggling like Jello.
What an odd poll choice!

CmdrTaco (by The Messenger)

Watching Pokemon
With cum stuck on his goatee.
Newbie loser scum.

Rob Malda and Kathleen Fent (by The Messenger)

Chubby breasts, fat ass
Distract us from Rob's boylust.
But they both suck cock!

Sarcasta's Teeth (by Real World Schtuff)

Look at these choppers
You know they are a draggin'
Buy that girl braces!

Malda (by Weenus)

Malda in the dark Swallowing chode for profit
He rips his anus

Party Time! (by broken by design)

Spank fast wank it hard
Jerk that dick to Pokemon
Party at taco's

5-7-5 (by Profane Motherfucker)

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
motherfuck fuck clusterfuck
the haiku is fucked

----

Slashdot is a very gay place.

Dear sirs:

I have recently been diagnosed with ass cancer. My doctor tells me it may have been a result of the countless torn anus incidents that afflicted me over the years. These tragedies that struck me were due to furious tail-fisting sessions I had with my butt buddies, Jeff Bates and Jon Katz. I am now forced to give myself daily enemas. My doctor has also prescribed me a heavy-duty douche bag so that I may fully cleanse out my rectum. My wife wouldn't give me hers because she says, "I'm not getting any fuckin' from you, so I am forced to pleasure myself with this douche wand. It's either that, or an affair with a penguin."

With a heavy heart, I regret to tell you that my prognosis is bleak. Thus I make a plea to the Slashdot community: Please send butt products and advice to the following address.

Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda
2001 Woodlark Ave
Holland, MI 49424

Who are these cats and kittens and how will they be stopped?

Hey, do I look like I weigh 200lbs to you?

C'mon. I'm a pretty good-looking girl. Certainly not unserviceable. That's one reason I'm so confused.

And about the vibe... I've got a few (six, to be exact). They're just not the same as hard, warm flesh. Especially Rob's....

I tried putting the moves on Rob again last night. He turned away when I tried to kiss him and said "I've gotta go to the bathroom" and fled the room. Two minutes later, I hear that goddamned keyboard clicking away. After a half-hour of waiting, I just went to sleep.

If anyone can help, anyone with a dick, anyone at all, please email me: sarcasta@sarcasta.net.

I'm so lonely.

Someone, please help. I am in dire need of a dick-thrashing and all Rob will do is peck away on that goddamned computer of his. If anyone is willing to fuck me brainless, especially those of you with thick black cocks, get in touch with me at sarcasta@sarcasta.net.

Thank you, Slashdot. You're my only hope.

so, quick poll: how many slashdotters have slammed their dicks in sarcasta's honeypot?

Picture of the couple.
Don't you just love sites with virtual directory listings enabled?

Well, it was your first post. I always wondered what would finally provoke you into it. Now we know. ;-)

To those wondering, user #570 is indeed Kathleen, according to a page at sarcasta.net (that I admittedly can't find right now). It was along the lines of "I have never posted to slashdot, and I never intend to, so anyone claiming to be me is an imposter. If I ever do post, it will be as user #570"

Incidentally, I once posted a suggestion in a story Slashdot's owners running out of money that they could always set up a sarcasta ho cam, linking to the "bountiful bosum" picture. It was modded down savagely as Offtopic, by moderators who clearly had no idea what I was on about. Vindicated! Ah hahahahaha! Now we're all going to be panting after Cmdr Taco's squeeze. You lucky, lucky bastard. ;-)

Well, it was your first post. I always wondered what would finally provoke you into it. Now we know. ;-)

To those wondering, user #570 is indeed Kathleen, according to a page at sarcasta.net (that I admittedly can't find right now). It was along the lines of "I have never posted to slashdot, and I never intend to, so anyone claiming to be me is an imposter. If I ever do post, it will be as user #570"

Incidentally, I once posted a suggestion in a story Slashdot's owners running out of money that they could always set up a sarcasta ho cam, linking to the "bountiful bosum" picture. It was modded down savagely as Offtopic, by moderators who clearly had no idea what I was on about. Vindicated! Ah hahahahaha! Now we're all going to be panting after Cmdr Taco's squeeze. You lucky, lucky bastard. ;-)

Oh well, never thought I'd see the day when I'd try and post an informative post on a proposal on Valentines day, but anyways, for those of you who are ignorant of who Kathleen is, check out this site.

Sorry, couldn't resist ;-)

Where's your evidence?

AFAIK he goes out with quite a charming girl called Kathleen Fent who, unlike most geek partners, has a bountiful bosom to boot.

And you, sir, have quite the excellent Blondie lyrics in your Sig.

And now back to sticking Star Trek TNG DVDs up Sarcasta's birth canal.

The real cause of CTS. LOL. I always could swear that I felt a fish wiggling around. ;)

Yo, this sucks. Hemos.net is down so I can't find the picture of Sarcasta Fent where you see cleavage and I beat my dick and jizz all over the monitor but right when I'm coming my fucking piece of shit Linux browser switches to a JonKatz article so all I get to blow my load on is some shit about how video gamers are smarter than everyone else so does anyone know of a mirror of some good pictures of Sarcasta?

Get all your hot XXX here
Taco
and
Ms Cleavage

Then again, slutpost.com beats both of these any day.

Get all your hot XXX here
Taco
and
Ms Cleavage

Then again, slutpost.com beats both of these any day.

CmdrTaco is by no means a butt-cowboy. Too bad Kathleen has removed the "plentyful bosom" picture from her site again.

-Jamie

...with five dollars? Imagine... five whole dollars in your pocket (if you're an open-source programmer, you know that five dollars is a veritable fortune). What do you do with it?

Why, if you're a typical Linux zealot, you...



BUY A SHARE OF LNUX!!!!!



But what do you do with the rest of the money? Three bucks and a quarter is still a fortune (remember, you're an open-source programmer here). There's only one thing to do: you...



BUY ANOTHER SHARE OF LNUX!!!!!



But you still have a buck fifty! A vast amount (open-souce programmer, remember)! There's only one thing to do with it: you...



BUY AN HOUR OF WILD ANAL PASSION FROM SOME SLUTTY HO



But you still have a buck and a quarter! A huge amount (open-source, yadda yadda yadda)! What do you do but:



BUY ANOTHER HOUR OF CRAZED ANIMAL LUST FROM A TWO BLUE-COLLAR LOSERS



So now you have one dollar left. You now own two shares of LNUX that are worth a dollar each, you have herpes and genital warts from the ho, and a bleeding rectum from the losers. What do you do? You ... you ... you don't know that to do with it.

Well, since you're an open-source programmer, you won't have to worry about what to do with all that money, since you'll never have five dollars to begin with.

...with five dollars? Imagine... five whole dollars in your pocket (if you're an open-source programmer, you know that five dollars is a veritable fortune). What do you do with it?

Why, if you're a typical Linux zealot, you...



BUY A SHARE OF LNUX!!!!!



But what do you do with the rest of the money? Three bucks and a quarter is still a fortune (remember, you're an open-source programmer here). There's only one thing to do: you...



BUY ANOTHER SHARE OF LNUX!!!!!



But you still have a buck fifty! A vast amount (open-souce programmer, remember)! There's only one thing to do with it: you...



BUY AN HOUR OF WILD ANAL PASSION FROM SOME SLUTTY HO



But you still have a buck and a quarter! A huge amount (open-source, yadda yadda yadda)! What do you do but:



BUY ANOTHER HOUR OF CRAZED ANIMAL LUST FROM A TWO BLUE-COLLAR LOSERS



So now you have one dollar left. You now own two shares of LNUX that are worth a dollar each, you have herpes and genital warts from the ho, and a bleeding rectum from the losers. What do you do? You ... you ... you don't know that to do with it.

Well, since you're an open-source programmer, you won't have to worry about what to do with all that money, since you'll never have five dollars to begin with.

...with five dollars? Imagine... five whole dollars in your pocket (if you're an open-source programmer, you know that five dollars is a veritable fortune). What do you do with it?

Why, if you're a typical Linux zealot, you...

BUY A SHARE OF LNUX!!!!!

But what do you do with the rest of the money? Three bucks and a quarter is still a fortune (remember, you're an open-source programmer here). There's only one thing to do: you...

BUY ANOTHER SHARE OF LNUX!!!!!

But you still have a buck fifty! A vast amount (open-souce programmer, remember)! There's only one thing to do with it: you...

BUY AN HOUR OF WILD ANAL PASSION FROM SOME SLUTTY HO

But you still have a buck and a quarter! A huge amount (open-source, yadda yadda yadda)! What do you do but:

BUY ANOTHER HOUR OF CRAZED ANIMAL LUST FROM A TWO BLUE-COLLAR LOSERS

So now you have one dollar left. You now own two shares of LNUX that are worth a dollar each, you have herpes and genital warts from the ho, and a bleeding rectum from the losers. What do you do? You ... you ... you don't know that to do with it.

Well, since you're an open-source programmer, you won't have to worry about what to do with all that money, since you'll never have five dollars to begin with.

...with five dollars? Imagine... five whole dollars in your pocket (if you're an open-source programmer, you know that five dollars is a veritable fortune). What do you do with it?

Why, if you're a typical Linux zealot, you...

BUY A SHARE OF LNUX!!!!!

But what do you do with the rest of the money? Three bucks and a quarter is still a fortune (remember, you're an open-source programmer here). There's only one thing to do: you...

BUY ANOTHER SHARE OF LNUX!!!!!

But you still have a buck fifty! A vast amount (open-souce programmer, remember)! There's only one thing to do with it: you...

BUY AN HOUR OF WILD ANAL PASSION FROM SOME SLUTTY HO

But you still have a buck and a quarter! A huge amount (open-source, yadda yadda yadda)! What do you do but:

BUY ANOTHER HOUR OF CRAZED ANIMAL LUST FROM A TWO BLUE-COLLAR LOSERS

So now you have one dollar left. You now own two shares of LNUX that are worth a dollar each, you have herpes and genital warts from the ho, and a bleeding rectum from the losers. What do you do? You ... you ... you don't know that to do with it.

Well, since you're an open-source programmer, you won't have to worry about what to do with all that money, since you'll never have five dollars to begin with.

...with five dollars? Imagine... five whole dollars in your pocket (if you're an open-source programmer, you know that five dollars is a veritable fortune). What do you do with it?

Why, if you're a typical Linux zealot, you...

BUY A SHARE OF LNUX!!!!!

But what do you do with the rest of the money? Three bucks and a quarter is still a fortune (remember, you're an open-source programmer here). There's only one thing to do: you...

BUY ANOTHER SHARE OF LNUX!!!!!

But you still have a buck fifty! A vast amount (open-souce programmer, remember)! There's only one thing to do with it: you...

BUY AN HOUR OF WILD ANAL PASSION FROM SOME SLUTTY HO

But you still have a buck and a quarter! A huge amount (open-source, yadda yadda yadda)! What do you do but:

BUY ANOTHER HOUR OF CRAZED ANIMAL LUST FROM A TWO BLUE-COLLAR LOSERS

So now you have one dollar left. You now own two shares of LNUX that are worth a dollar each, you have herpes and genital warts from the ho, and a bleeding rectum from the losers. What do you do? You ... you ... you don't know that to do with it.

Well, since you're an open-source programmer, you won't have to worry about what to do with all that money, since you'll never have five dollars to begin with.

...with five dollars? Imagine... five whole dollars in your pocket (if you're an open-source programmer, you know that five dollars is a veritable fortune). What do you do with it?

Why, if you're a typical Linux zealot, you...

BUY A SHARE OF LNUX!!!!!

But what do you do with the rest of the money? Three bucks and a quarter is still a fortune (remember, you're an open-source programmer here). There's only one thing to do: you...

BUY ANOTHER SHARE OF LNUX!!!!!

But you still have a buck fifty! A vast amount (open-souce programmer, remember)! There's only one thing to do with it: you...

BUY AN HOUR OF WILD ANAL PASSION FROM SOME SLUTTY HO

But you still have a buck and a quarter! A huge amount (open-source, yadda yadda yadda)! What do you do but:

BUY ANOTHER HOUR OF CRAZED ANIMAL LUST FROM A TWO BLUE-COLLAR LOSERS

So now you have one dollar left. You now own two shares of LNUX that are worth a dollar each, you have herpes and genital warts from the ho, and a bleeding rectum from the losers. What do you do? You ... you ... you don't know that to do with it.

Well, since you're an open-source programmer, you won't have to worry about what to do with all that money, since you'll never have five dollars to begin with.

Well, he's going out with Sarcasta, isn't he?

Or are you implying that Sarcasta doesn't give any?

You are looking at the wrong thing, check here

I remember how stressed out my cat, Kyoto, was when she became Cisco Certified.

Well, for all of you wondering whether or not this is the real Sarcasta, as in Rob "Cmdr Dorko...err..Taco" Malda's other half, Kathleen Fent...here is your answer right here, plain as day.

If you check out this pageyou'll quickly see that Aunt Kathy here doesn't have a cat named Kyoto .

Combine this with the fact that for a Mac using graphic designer (and I know many :) "she" knows a little too much about PostgreSQL vs. MySQL.

Add to that the high user number (c'mon, if this was Taco's chick, she'd be like a high user number, right? :).

No way. Taco: If this user is really your chick, tell us. :)

And to the holder of this Sarcasta account: Do try to do a little research before you troll as Sarcasta, 'k?

considering that it comes from Rob's other half

Slashdot makes money through the existence of other websites, and reciprocates by providing a steady stream of traffic for as long as the hyperlink is on the front page and/or until the linked site's server dies. The site provides content for Slashdot, and Slashdot presents the content to us. We provide Slashdot with traffic, in turn Slashdot provides the linked site with traffic. And assuming that the linked site's author is smart enough to be affiliated with a banner-ad network, both Slashdot and the linked site get lots of pageviews, and consequently, lots of money. All works out nicely in the end.

This is why I try not to blame the Slashdot "editors" too much. They're not real editors; their complete lack of professionality in this site's maintenance and management would get the sacked from real jobs rather quickly. They're just leeches, feeding off the Internet's abundant supply of information and our desire to consume it. And can you blame a filthy, dirty, vampiric leech for what it is? Of course not. Just as God made me the Supreme Commander of the most powerful corporate entity on Earth, God made Rob Malda a filthy leech, the intellectual and moral equivilent of an addict prostitute.

And the God I speak of is not Jehovah, Allah, Yaweh, or the Mighty Breast. The God I speak of is money. Sweet, sweet money. Money comforts me when I am alone, feeds me when I am hungry, and fucks me when I am horny. Oh, I'm sorry, did I say "money?" I meant "Rob's chubby girlfriend Sarcasta." My bad!


See you in hell,
Bill Fuckin' Gates®.