Slashdot Mirror

Don't forget the one trillion dollar bill!

This is the song from the Simpsons, 3F16 - 17th March 1996, from the episode The Day the Violence Died, when Crusty the clown was forced to remove the Itchy & Scratchy cartoon from his show. The "kid" voice was done by the same lady who does the voice as Millhouse.

hint: bart gets a dime when he turns in a soda bottle to save up for radioactiveman #1 in three men and a comic book. only one state has a 10 cent deposit.

Don't forget the embiggening of the smallest man!

Quote from [2F13] Bart vs. Australia

-- Hello, Joker, "Bart vs. Australia"

The room at the embassy where the family get to stay is luxurious.

Homer: Oh, yeah, this is the life! Boy, next summer can you commit some fraud in Orlando, Florida?

Bart: I'm way ahead of you, Dad.

Conover: [walking in] Kno-ock! Simpsons, I'd like you to meet our ambassador, the honorable Avril Ward.

Ward: Hello. Now, everything is all set for Bart's apology. Mr. Conover will meet you at the parliament house at three p.m. Questions?

Bart: Yeah, do the toilets go backwards in here?

Ward: No. To combat homesickness, we've installed a device that makes them swirl the correct American way.

[he flushes the toilet]

[it swirls one way, then a machine kicks in and makes it swirl the other way]

Homer: [singing] Sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing...[weeps]

Ahh, The Simpsons, full script here

Bill Gates: Mr. Simpson?
Homer: You don't look so rich...
Bill Gates: Don't let the haircut fool you, I am exceedingly wealthy.
Homer: [quietly] Get a load of the bowl-job, Marge!
Bill Gates: Your Internet ad was brought to my attention, but I can't figure out what, if
anything, Compuglobalhypermeganet does, so rather than risk competing with you, I've decided simply to buy you out.

% Homer and Marge quietly discuss this proposal.

Homer: I reluctantly accept your proposal!
Bill Gates: Well everyone always does. Buy 'em out, boys!
[Gates' lackeys trash the room.]
Homer: Hey, what the hell's going on!
Bill Gates: Oh, I didn't get rich by writing a lot of checks! [insane
laughter]

Get over yourself.
You sound like Frank Grimes from the Simpsons. For more info please see the following
link and link.
Oh, and you thought we couldn't lear anything from the Simpsons!

"I can see the music!" --Lisa Simpson, Selma's Choice.

I suspect large bribes*cough*grants will be paid and the whole issue will be quietly dropped.

You're probably very close to the truth. The problem, though, is that administrations change and Microsoft will have to keep buying them out (in the literal sense, not the "Buy 'em out, boys!" Compuglobalhypermeganet sense).

This will become a major expense for Microsoft, and I can see that $40B dwindling. It may look like a lot right now but if it's not being replaced faster than it's leaving, then it'll all be gone. Not soon, but eventually.

And as it starts disappearing, the conversion to open source solutions will accelerate -- Microsoft will offer smaller and smaller discounts for their solutions, because it's tough to compete with free and they still need to prop up their stock price to keep their developers from leaving.

They may have bought out the US Government (all signs point to yes, they were convicted and then got (another) slap on the wrist), but they are a dinosaur in a tar pit. They'll thrash around and possibly damage passers-by, but they're sinking.

Everyone knows that geeks relate everything back to the fount of all wisdom!

(Dagnabit, usotsuki, your link was misleading!)

Off to the guillotine with you then.

"I've been called ugly, pug-ugly, fugly, pug-fugly, but never ugly-ugly."

So...would analyzing marriage conversations be like this?

Lyndsey Nagle: Why not both, then everybody's happy.
CBG: Oh yeah, everyone's real happy then.
Lyndsey Nagle: Do I detect a note of sarcasm?
Professor Frink: (With sarcasm detector) Are you kidding? This baby is off the charts mm-hai.
(Sarcasm detector explodes)
Courtesy of The Simpsons Archive

:p

See also the Simpsons episode Lard of the Dance.

"Mr. Simpson, this government computer can process over nine tax returns per day. Did you really think you could fool it?"

It was a joke post. *sigh*

Obviously you've never seen episode BABF08

I've accessed the 4F03 notes the same way already today.

You guys are studying how to box using television as a reference? Wow..

Courtesy of snpp:
"Did you know that disco record sales were up 400% for the year ending 1976? If these trends continues... AAY!"

"Buy him out, boys!"
-- Bill Gates, the book of Homer, 5F11
truly the fount of all wisdom

The Joy of Sect
Cletus: [Pointing shotgun] Stranger, you're trespassin' on m'ah dirt farm.
Leader: Uh, do you happen to need a messiah?
Cletus: No, but I'll take them sacks o' money from ye.
Leader: Ohh... I should have stayed with the Promise Keepers.

Too bad you posted as Anonymous Coward. After that brilliant legal advice, I was considering giving Lionel Hutz the boot and hiring you as my lawyer.

"In 1215 at Runnymede, doo-dah, doo-dah..."

Which sort of proves the point that things are more easily remembered when put in a catchy song.

~Philly

That reminds me of the Lard of the dance simpsons epsode where Homer drools over the grease farming potential of the youth working at Krusty Burger

• Homer: Aw, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forty percent of all people know that.
• Mark Twain: There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics

Forget it, stevew. While it has been established that eggs contain cholesterol, it has not yet been proven conclusively that they actually raise the level of serum cholesterol in the human blood stream.

~User "So one of those Egg Council creeps got to you too, huh?" Googol~

Wiggum: I mailed these bogus prize certificates to every scofflaw in Springfield. When they show up for their free motor boats we arrest them and beat them to the full extent of the law.
Eddie: So the hook is baited.
Lou: Nice metaphore Eddie!
Wiggum: Yeah, good work, Eddie!

Settle down man, the post was a joke, and was (probably) in reference to a Simpson's quote

Nelson: "Shoplifting is a victimless crime, like punching someone in the dark."

bloody heck. it's a simpsons reference.

Original Airdate on FOX: 3-Oct-1999

% The family heads up to Bart's room, where the boy has been doing some redecorating. The ceiling is filled with wire hangers, each dangling from a string. Bart, wearing a trash can lid for a helmet, is busy wrapping himself in aluminum foil.

Bart: You're probably wondering about the coat hangers. They're to block the satellite that's been spying on me.
Marge: [with trepidation] Okay ...
Bart: It can read your electric organizer from space.
Homer: Even mine? [Bart takes it and smashes it] Hey, I had Lenny's name on that!
Bart: They have it now.
Lisa: Who are they, exactly?
Bart: Who else? Major League Baseball.
Homer: [loud whisper] Marge, I think Bart's gone crazy.
Lisa: Oh, Bart, what's happened to you?
Bart: Nothing yet, but the time draws near. [whips out a pair of pliers] Now let's get those fillings out of you!
[Lisa screams]
Homer: [takes pliers] Hey, you found my needle-nose pliers.

(comic book guy voice)
How does a comic book sound?


No, I did mean the comic book guy. That cave you live in, it must run really deep, huh?

Homer: [ruefully] I'd sell my soul for a donut.
[The devil appears, looking like Flanders]
Flanders: Heh heh, that can be arranged.
Homer: What -- Flanders! You're the devil?
Flanders: Ho ho, it's always the one you least suspect.
...
Flanders: Now remember, the instant you finish it, I own your soul for --
Homer: [through a full mouth] Hey, wait: if I don't finish this last bite, you don't get my soul, do you?
Flanders: Well, technically, no, but --
Homer: [gloating] I'm smarter than the devil!

[later]
Homer: "Mmm, forbidden donut."

-SNPP

The real lines from that Simpson's episode are as follows (from this guide):

% So, the gang ends up at Moe's Tavern.

Hawking: Your theory of a donut-shaped universe is intriguing, Homer. I may have to steal it.

Homer: Wow, I can't believe someone I never heard of is hanging out with a guy like me.

Moe: All right, it's closing time. Who's paying the tab?

Homer: [imitating Hawking's voice box] I am.

Hawking: I didn't say that.

Homer: [still imitating] Yes I did.

[the boxing glove comes out again, bopping Homer in the face]

Homer: [still imitating] D'oh.

It is true...

Hawking: Your theory of a donut-shaped universe is
intriguing, Homer. I may have to steal it.
Homer: Wow, I can't believe someone I never heard of is
hanging out with a guy like me.
Moe: All right, it's closing time. Who's paying the tab?
Homer: [imitating Hawking's voice box] I am.
Hawking: I didn't say that.
Homer: [still imitating] Yes I did.
[the glove comes out again, bopping Homer in the
face]
[still imitating] D'oh.

Script from the episode

That's debatable.

A news report on the Space Elevator comes on the TV.

Kent: But there's already one big winner: Our state school system, which gets fully half the profits from the Space Elevator.

Skinner: [talking with his teachers] Just think what we can buy with that money... History books that know how the Korean War came out. Math books that don't have that base six crap in them! And a state-of-the-art detention hall [holds up a scale model] where unruly children are sent to Space Elevator detention.

Teacher: [to no one in particular] Space Elevators. Always with the Space Elevators ...

</Obligatory Simpsons Reference>

[With apologies to Dog of Death episode.]

From episode 5F13

Krabappel: Now, whose calculator can tell me what seven times eight is?
[the kids rush to the sum. Milhouse Van Houten has an answer]
Milhouse: Oh! Oh, oh, oh! Low battery?

"Thanks Mr. Simpson. Because of you, we're all taking golden showers" - Kent Brockman

-- from the book of Homer, 1F13

Martin: Look! It's snowing!
Ralph: [catching a flake of grease on his tounge] This snowflake tastes like fish sticks!
( http://www.snpp.com/episodes/5F20 )

I bet tomorrow the phone directory will contain a lot more people named Fook Yu...
Other suggestions, courtesy of Bart Simpson.

For those who don't know: Murdoch owns News Corp. and everything named 'Fox' (well, maybe a few exceptions).

My favorite was in Simpsons "Missionary: Impossible" where they had the PBS-like telethon at the end:

Man: [walks in front of a dais, at which are seated characters from other "Fox" series, along with Rupert Murdoch] Sure, Fox makes a fortune from advertising but it's still not enough.

Murdoch: Not nearly enough!

Canyonero!
</ob simpsons>

Quote 1:
Bart: According to three-time soap box derby champion Ronny Beck, "Poorly guarded contruction sites are a gold mine."

Quote 2:
Marge: Homer, we have a perfectly good bookcase.
Homer: Yeah, but this is what they're doing on campus. Besides, it isn't costing us: I swiped the cinderblocks from a construction site.

[At the site, a worker walks forlornly up to his boss]
Worker: Sir, six cinderblocks are missing.
Boss: There'll be no hospital, then. I'll tell the children.

~Philly

Quote 1:
Bart: According to three-time soap box derby champion Ronny Beck, "Poorly guarded contruction sites are a gold mine."

Quote 2:
Marge: Homer, we have a perfectly good bookcase.
Homer: Yeah, but this is what they're doing on campus. Besides, it isn't costing us: I swiped the cinderblocks from a construction site.

[At the site, a worker walks forlornly up to his boss]
Worker: Sir, six cinderblocks are missing.
Boss: There'll be no hospital, then. I'll tell the children.

~Philly

The experiment with "ants in space", as covered on Slashdot a couple weeks ago, led me to wonder, why don't we just ship a few dozen different insect colonies to Mars and let *them* terraform it?

Ladies and gentlemen, er, we've just lost the picture, but, uh, what we've seen speaks for itself. The Corvair spacecraft has been taken over -- "conquered", if you will -- by a master race of giant space ants. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive earth men or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain, there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.

(1F13)

It'll burn up in our atmosphere and what's ever left will be no bigger than a chihuahua's head...

Giant ants. And one thing is for certain, there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. Deep space Homer.

You want to get into sugar. Now that's the money crystal.

You want to get into sugar. Now that's the money crystal.