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Think that's bad? I kept seeing a certain person's monogram with every, er, repetition of Repetitive Mistake Syndrome. :)

well, it certainly isn't Stallman's Razor...

Right... Must be the first "consumer" running emacs on a PowerBook.

Since when was emacs a consumer product? I guess even Richard Stallman would be stunned about this statement :-)))

oh... and why again is life with emacs meaningless again?

When you have a crime to investigate, and you have no suspects, where do you start? Obviously you begin by looking at the person or persons who have the most to gain by perpetrating the crime.

This is why we must consider: who had something to gain from the disasterous crimes of September 11th? Obviously not Osama Bin Laden, who would net no financial windfall from the destruction of the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Although he has loudly applauded the "terrorist" acts of September 11th and even tacitly taken credit for them, there is no reason to believe that he is anything more than a bandwagon jumper. Being blamed for the destruction of the World Trade Center has done more for his image than any amount of militant Islamic rhetoric.

But if not Bin Laden, then who?

It so happens that on December 11th, "coincidentally" 2 months after the tragedy, Credit Suisse First Boston quietly agreed to pay out US$100 million in order to settle an 18 month old investigation into its handling of certain high-profile technology IPOs (Initial Public Offerings). One of the most controversial amongst these being the IPO of VA Linux Systems, Inc. (LNUX) .

VA Linux Systems, Inc., now known as VA Software, is widely derided as a poster child of the dot-com bust, though inexplicably still in business. At the time of the IPO, VA Linux (Software) shares opened trading at nearly 10 times their $30 offer price, closing the first day of trading at $239.25. This meteoric rise made many early investors rich, strangely on account of a company which purports to sell a hobbyist operating system which can be obtained for free on the Internet. "The VA Linux initial public offering is a prime example of market manipulation in an IPO by investment banks, their customers and the issuing firm," said Steven Schulman, a partner in the law firm Milberg Weiss Bershad Hynes & Lerach, which specializes in filing shareholder suits.

"Because certain favored customers of the investment banks agreed to buy shares in a new issue at inflated prices in the aftermarket (in return for getting an allocation of the shares at the initial offering price) the share prices to which the IPO eventually soared were actually driven by artificial market forces," continues Schulman.

But what does the VA Software (Linux) IPO have to do with the attacks on September 11th, and what has that to do with the Credit Suisse settlement? Well, considering that VA Linux (Software) got CSFB into trouble in the first place, it stands to reason that the VA Linux (Software) Board of Directors were complicit in the stock fraud from beginning to end. As the investigation progressed against CSFB, the unscrupulous VA Software/Linux executives, their pockets bulging with filthy lucre plundered from trusting, hard-working investors, must have realized that their days in the country club were numbered if the SEC discovered their wrongdoings.

The SEC, or Securities Exchange Commission, is a federal regulatory agency, and cannot be bribed. Therefore, with a possible stint in federal prison looming large, Larry Augustin and the rest of the crooks, including outspoken gun violence advocate Eric S. Raymond, decided to undertake more active means to halt the investigation.

The Plan

It so happened that all the evidence in the CSFB/VA Linux investigation was held at the SEC Northeast Regional Office in Manhattan. More specifically, 7 World Trade Center, Suite 1300. The board decided that a simple burglary or arson attempt would not be satisfactory to destroy the evidence; anything so simple had a significant chance of being botched, and regardless of success would leave too many witnesses or living accomplices.

It was then that Eric S. Raymond suggested something he had read in a book by Tom Clancy. Crashing two planes into the World Trade Center Plaza would guarantee the destruction of the SEC offices, killing the operatives and possibly a number of SEC investigators at the same time. The plan seemed flawless, and would cost little more than the price of a few plane tickets. In a secret session, the board voted unanimously in favour of Eric's suggestion, and began to put it into action.

VA Software/Linux, at the time of planning the attacks, had no shortage of H1-B visa workers, who they employed for the purpose of writing and improving hacking, encryption, and other terrorist tools for the Linux operating system. It had been decided that a hand-picked few of these foreign H1-B workers would be used as the "patsies" in the operation. A contest was held, and the most zealotous Linux advocates were chosen for this secret assignment, direct from the board of directors. They accepted their mission after being told that, if successful, it would guarantee the adoption of Linux in the desktop market.

Alan Cox was brought into the fold to provide some planning and logistics for the mission. It was he who determined that since there was no adequate flight simulator software for Linux, the patsies would need to train at a flight school in order to pull off the plan successfully. It was also his idea to hijack a third and fourth plane for the purpose of crashing them into Washington D.C., to express his extreme rage over the DMCA, or Digital Millenium Copyright Act. The board of directors agreed with this addition to the plan in the hopes that it would help divert attention from the purpose of the WTC attack.

The H1-B workers were given false identities by using Linux hacking tools. Once they had attended the necessary flight training, they stayed at the Massachusetts home of Richard M. Stallman for a brief "faith building" retreat. During this time spent at the house of Stallman, between the nauseating stench of patchouli, Stallman's incessant, pitiful recorder playing, and Stallman's droning seminars on the grammatical and syntactical accuracy of various statements by Microsoft representatives, the H1-B workers were effectively hypnotized to the point that they were ready to lay down their lives for Free Software. It was then that they departed for Boston's Logan International Airport to board the planes.

(The preceding inside information has been obtained from a credible source close to the VA Linux/Software Board of Directors. He/she is in hiding for obvious reasons in light of this damning evidence, but has presented hard, physical evidence of VA Software/Linux's complicity in the events of 9/11 to federal investigators.)

Troll 68 of 208 from the annals of the Troll Library .

Heh, I thought this was a troll, but this is on www.stallman.org. If this actually was written by him the "My 19-year-old child, the Free Software Movement" tells more about the whole GNU/Linux naming thing than a thousand Slashdot trolls ever could.

Stupid mods, parent is not a troll. RMS really is looking for a woman and that ad is real. It's in here.

RMS is the Ultimate troll! He really is. Dont belive me? Look at what he has done recently

* The huge GNU/Linux vs Linux flamewar
* The HURD for the server fraud
* This
* Comic strips promoting hatred to the US goverment!
* Misusing the word free!

This is just a small selection of scandals! He has been trolling the academic community for years! A look at his homepage will show that he whines at everything!

People are starting to realise that the GPL is a FRAUD and are switching to less restrictive licences such as BSD and LGPL licenses. I use linux (not gnu/linux) because its better for MY NEEDS, and I dont wank about with crap like licences.

Please do NOT nominate him as a famous person as he has trolled the world, this explains everything

RMS is the Ultimate troll! He really is. Dont belive me? Look at what he has done recently

* The huge GNU/Linux vs Linux flamewar
* The HURD for the server fraud
* This
* Comic strips promoting hatred to the US goverment!
* Misusing the word free!

This is just a small selection of scandals! He has been trolling the academic community for years! A look at his homepage will show that he whines at everything!

People are starting to realise that the GPL is a FRAUD and are switching to less restrictive licences such as BSD and LGPL licenses. I use linux (not gnu/linux) because its better for MY NEEDS, and I dont wank about with crap like licences.

Please do NOT nominate him as a famous person as he has trolled the world, this explains everything

RMS

Why the fuck no one is paying attention to this issues?!

FBI's Most Wanted

• Santa Claus
• ZZ Top
• RMS
• Al Gore (now we know why he shaved it :-)

Thank you.

Maybe not the projects, but it's damned sure the goal of about a hundred thousand pundits and those are the nasal whines that the world hears. All one has to do is look at the front page of Slashdot: how many of this type of story have you seen in the last six months...

Family of Three in Latvia Switches to Linux

... followed by sixty thousand Slashbots backpatting and claiming how they "knew it all along"? Global domination seems to the the only goal of the average Slashdot fanboy who have never written a line of code in his life but is happy to jump on any passing bandwagon.

It's not the silent, qualified nerds who are slaving away at making Apache (and others) a better product that create OSSs public image, it's the noisy malcontents that I and the rest of the world have learned to despise.

I think that the argument in any sane country would be that nobody is actually infringing copyrights by downloading source code of these "open source" decoders. The Netherlands recognized this rather obvious argument as valid and ruled accordingly against Buma Stemra (copyright dinosaurs in Holland, analogous to the American RIAA/MPAA cartels) but I suspect that Canada will fall to a similar DMCA-inspired mess. Hollywood bought the DMCA for a reason, and it is not to bing freedom to the oppressed :) "Open Source" to those people means nothing and sometimes attaches the stigma of open-mindedness. You don't play by the same greedy rules as the conglomerates? You must be looking to undermine them instead.

Yeah, I'd say you have a fair hurdle to jump. Advocates like this guy don't exactly help either (at least not when my Grandma is watching!) ;)

don't click here

Oh, wait, those aren't buckets of money they're throwing at him -- those are buckets of...

EWEWWUU! That's GROSS!

Linux is used by a bunch of irritating hippies who feel that they have the right to steal all the copyrighted content that they want.

Therefore, Linux is unsupported.

Obviously, this "Linus Torvalds" must be some sort of superhuman to have done such a thing. But we all know that there is no such thing as a superhuman. As such it must be plain for all to see that this "Linus Torvalds" is some sort of fabrication. It is the only way to explain why Linus keeps such a low profile, and that the main bit of evidence to even suggest his existence is the testimony of his mother and the strange posts "he" makes on obscure message boards. The fact that an entire community of "warez doods" has sprung up, proclaiming that "LUNIX RULEZZZ" is such a flimsy piece of evidence it must be discounted. But if "Linus Torvalds" does not actually exist, then who has conjured up his existence? There is only one possible person who could get away with such a fraud. Mikke Torvalds, "his" supposed birth parent.

Mrs. Torvalds may have a lot to say about her son, but this does not excuse the fact that he does not exist. When you consider this, is it genuinely surprising that she found him "easy to raise"? Of course, there is one immediate objection which will no doubt be raised. "If Linus Torvalds doesn't really exist," I hear you ask, "then who wrote Linux?" That is a good question, but it is very obvious to see who. If you take a look around here for a while, you will hear names like Alan Cox, Richard Stallman, and Eric Raymond being bandied about. Obviously, it is immensely skilled coders and hackers such as these people who have made the wonderful OS Linux what it is today. The person who first made that post on comp.os.minix was in fact Linus' mother, who, frustrated by the ludicrous restrictions imposed upon her by Minix, posted a message under a partial pseudonym, asking for help building a new operating system. All she wanted was someone to help her use her PC to print out her recipes, but before she knew it she was in way over her head. Pretty soon Linux had hit 1.0 and strangers like Tanenbaum were talking about and cussing it.

Fortunately, Mikke had released the kernel under the GPL from the start, so she was able to dump it onto the shoulders of other people without arousing too much suspicion. Now she only has to make periodic appearances on Usenet and the like to avoid arousing the interest of news-hungry geeks and ZDNet reporters. "But what about the conferences?" you cry. "We have photographic evidence!" Well, that isn't Linus. Are you sure you'd like me to tell you who it is? OK. The person whom you have all been worshipping for eleven years is in fact Richard Stallman, a man simultaneously venerated and vilified by the Slashdot community. When Linux started to become famous, Mikke knew that she was in deep water and that her hoax might be uncovered, so she decided to contact the most trustworthy man in the open source world. RMS was happy to cooperate, especially when he knew that Linux had completely overwhelmed the Hurd and that he might as well help; after all, if Linux was exposed as a giant falsification, mightn't his beloved GNU project be considered a hoax also? Neither could take the chance, and for that reason Stallman was perfectly happy to quickly purchase a cheap rubber mask and shave off some of his bodily hair.

Fast forward to 2002, and GNU/Linux is very stealthily taking over the server market. Mikke Torvalds' simple request has turned into a multi-million dollar industry, and Stallman's hobby and grand vision has actually begun to come to fruition. This is why, despite the fact that Linus Torvalds is actually a figment of our collective imagination, we should all honour him for being a prime symbol of our steadfast belief and ability to do what must be done. May his memory live on forever.

Obviously, this "Linus Torvalds" must be some sort of superhuman to have done such a thing. But we all know that there is no such thing as a superhuman. As such it must be plain for all to see that this "Linus Torvalds" is some sort of fabrication. It is the only way to explain why Linus keeps such a low profile, and that the main bit of evidence to even suggest his existence is the testimony of his mother and the strange posts "he" makes on obscure message boards. The fact that an entire community of "warez doods" has sprung up, proclaiming that "LUNIX RULEZZZ" is such a flimsy piece of evidence it must be discounted. But if "Linus Torvalds" does not actually exist, then who has conjured up his existence? There is only one possible person who could get away with such a fraud. Mikke Torvalds, "his" supposed birth parent.

Mrs. Torvalds may have a lot to say about her son, but this does not excuse the fact that he does not exist. When you consider this, is it genuinely surprising that she found him "easy to raise"? Of course, there is one immediate objection which will no doubt be raised. "If Linus Torvalds doesn't really exist," I hear you ask, "then who wrote Linux?" That is a good question, but it is very obvious to see who. If you take a look around here for a while, you will hear names like Alan Cox, Richard Stallman, and Eric Raymond being bandied about. Obviously, it is immensely skilled coders and hackers such as these people who have made the wonderful OS Linux what it is today. The person who first made that post on comp.os.minix was in fact Linus' mother, who, frustrated by the ludicrous restrictions imposed upon her by Minix, posted a message under a partial pseudonym, asking for help building a new operating system. All she wanted was someone to help her use her PC to print out her recipes, but before she knew it she was in way over her head. Pretty soon Linux had hit 1.0 and strangers like Tanenbaum were talking about and cussing it.

Fortunately, Mikke had released the kernel under the GPL from the start, so she was able to dump it onto the shoulders of other people without arousing too much suspicion. Now she only has to make periodic appearances on Usenet and the like to avoid arousing the interest of news-hungry geeks and ZDNet reporters. "But what about the conferences?" you cry. "We have photographic evidence!" Well, that isn't Linus. Are you sure you'd like me to tell you who it is? OK. The person whom you have all been worshipping for eleven years is in fact Richard Stallman, a man simultaneously venerated and vilified by the Slashdot community. When Linux started to become famous, Mikke knew that she was in deep water and that her hoax might be uncovered, so she decided to contact the most trustworthy man in the open source world. RMS was happy to cooperate, especially when he knew that Linux had completely overwhelmed the Hurd and that he might as well help; after all, if Linux was exposed as a giant falsification, mightn't his beloved GNU project be considered a hoax also? Neither could take the chance, and for that reason Stallman was perfectly happy to quickly purchase a cheap rubber mask and shave off some of his bodily hair.

Fast forward to 2002, and GNU/Linux is very stealthily taking over the server market. Mikke Torvalds' simple request has turned into a multi-million dollar industry, and Stallman's hobby and grand vision has actually begun to come to fruition. This is why, despite the fact that Linus Torvalds is actually a figment of our collective imagination, we should all honour him for being a prime symbol of our steadfast belief and ability to do what must be done. May his memory live on forever.

"The K&R text is mentioned, though not as reverently as some would demand"

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naww, she doesn't live in a basement and write manifestos.

If you stop bathing now, eat nothing but McDonald's and don't groom yourself you could really scare the shit out of people and go as this. Is that a dildo he's playing with?

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Yes he is, his goal is get make it mandatory for EVERYONE in the world to prefix gnu/ to EVERY word. A look at his homepage reveals a polethera of flamebait articles and links. He takes everything so fucking seriouly that he is up there with RELIGIOUS ZEALOTS. Come on, he basiclly wants TO LEAGILIZE WAREZ. You really want to add him to your foes list and he should be added to the No more trolls list

He is a filthy pervert. He created a slow and 1980s like desktop with his FEET as its logo and HE HAS SEX WITH GOATS!

Finally hes trying to DEFORM THE ENGLISH LANUAGE BY MAKING G a non silent letter. Guh-nome, G-nu, Guh-zip, and so on.

REMEMBER! RICHARD STALLMAN IS THE WORLDS BEST TROLL. HE IS FAR SUPERIOR TO UBERTROLLS LIKE KLERCK AND WIPO. PLEASE MOD HIM DOWN!

"Think, ``Free Speech'', not, ``Free Beer''" -RMS.

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How do you think Microsoft has maintained such a complete stranglehold on desktop computing? They spew what people want to hear, while the Linux camp keeps on embarassing itself. Laugh all you want, but also try to learn something.

Here he is, the shining beacon of software freedom (and pathological homosexuality).

Well...

AShadeOfGrey talks about RMS: Like it or not... it isn't hard to argue that rms is the single most important person in the developments that brought each and every one of us the choice of Freedom. Worship him? Make him god? no.. but don't forget... the man deserves a tiny bit of credit here...

I wont deny the man credit, but he really thinks he must be worshipped

I think he turns people off because he turns this into a religious war. I think Linus has "converted" more people to OSS by taking the more practical approach.

Ive noticed that people tend to refer to Stallman as "Stallman" rather than by his full name, and that his personal webpage is simply stallman.org.

I propose that from now on everyone uses his full name whenever you refer to him...

Richard Monotone Stallman

And Microsoft is welcome to release Windows under an open source license. That doesn't mean they have any incentive to do so. If you want open source music, make some of your own. That's how it's worked so far with open source software, at least.

Oddly enough, even RMS hasn't done the open source equivalent of music. On his song page, he gives people free license to sing and perform the songs. He does not, however, give them license to modify the songs. Furthermore, the copyright notice at the bottom of the page only provides permission for verbatim copying. Given his passionate views on software freedom, you'd think he would've made the logical extension to other intellectual property ventures.

Example: Early today we tell one us representatives to America and ask about buy AT&T Microwave Bunker. But he not successful! First, representative not let into US carrying his State Issued Weapon of Glory! What about Right to Guns in US? (So much for Liberty!) So representative must call on phone, much expensive. And when he finally reach seller of Bunker, take 15 minute to find Real Estate Agent that speak China! (I guess America like itself be alone in world! More China people than America people, but America people think they are more! Ha!)

The final offend come when Real Estate people say that China can not buy Bunker because of relation between Evil American and Glorious People's Happy Republic of Great China Glory. What about let all come to America? What about take immigrant who set up business opportunity for great Prosper and Happiness? No! Instead China is turn away because China not believe in American idea of Capitalist Rape and Sad Hurt.

Obvious conclusion: 11 September prove that America is not Free, it is China that is Free. If not believing, why not consult with Free Expert name Richard Stallman, who is popular on website of Slashdot? He explain true nature of suppose "human abuse right". I suggesting you talk with Richard Stallman!

Irony is that on 11 September Anniversary, China not allow set up business in America. We try to be friend and ease international relation, but America say no. Truthful, America is Evil and must be destroy by Great Clean Fire of China Redemption with Glory and Happy Force of Right.

Now available in an easy-to-digest comic form:

http://www.stallman.org/images/cartoon-3f.jpg

yeah it isnt....i mean it.....

So far all the replies to this story have been "we already knew that" and "duh". I find those comments idiotic. In that spirit, when cigarette execs admitted they knew their products were bad for people, there should have been no story.

Agreed. Read on, though, Macduff..

This event is significant, because from the mouth of someone significantly important in MSFTs power structure, there is an admission of failing.


Hunh?

Where is the Utopia you live in, bud? I'd like to move there.

It would be nice to just take Mr. Valentines statement at face value, applaud them for being honest and move on, but this is Microsoft we're talking about. These are smart, ruthless, paranoid people who never do anything without a reason, that reason normally being protecting or extending thier dominance over a market. In that regard, I'll say "Thanks, Brian. First, if you need some help, I'll do what I can. Second - what are you guys really up to here?"

Maybe the exec just wanted to confess his (their) sins?

Yeah, to St. IGNUcius hisself. Right.

You know, I'd love to hear something like this from Microsoft and not think "There's an alterior motive here...", but I can't help it - they're too smart and too powerful to NOT be very careful around them. Until there's demonstrative proof that Microsoft wants to just make cool tech and not own or control it all, I'll continue to cast a very cautious, critical eye in thier direction.

Soko

Did you check out the philosophy of GNU and the Free Software Foundation, and their GPL (General Public License). You also might want to see the views of Richard Stallman.

I know this sounds pretty gloomy, then again, what doesn't? Maybe you'd rather have Stallman become our next president, maybe that would solve the problem, well at least it would solve the issue of living space, cause the dude would just sleep under a rock and hug a tree everday for affection... anyway.. MP3 is bad, real bad, don't download music, dont involve yourself in anything MP3. Rather, take a nice cam corder next time you visit a cinema and record what you see, make sure you get the ppl walking around, they make the action better.

Oh, wait -- you didn't think that lobstermen actually go out to the ocean in boats and catch lobsters, do you? That's pretty fucking ignorant. I'll bet you've never even been on the East Coast.

"Lobsterman" means the same thing in New Hampshire as it means in Maine and all over New England: hoary old NAMBLA members with beards and raincoats who divide their time between fucking kids and supporting union "labor." Maybe, on the farm where you were born, all words mean what they seem to, be we New England folks are sophisticated. Why, we even have a special word for loud-but-ineffective leftist homosexuals past their prime: "stallman." Just as lobstermen aren't "men who catch lobsters," stallmen aren't "men in stalls." Inceidentally, stallmen can often be found in public bathroom stalls, but that's just one of their many habitats. Stallmen tend to congregate around overrated educational institutions. Recently, stallman subcultures have developed in China and Slovenia. For more information on these annoying, filthy beasts, see the stallman homepage.

-- The_Messenger

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