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And if a state legislature were, for instance, to pass a law declaring that PI=3.2? you would propose hanging the malefactors by their toenails for years until they pull them out? (Isn't that illegal most places by the way?)

Better liquor that selling steel to the Nazis. Like the Bushes.

Nobody puts the smack down like Cecil.

A man who died a virgin has to keep himself busy somehow. :)

I would paraphrase this to make it my own, but the original pretty much explains it the best. From the Straight Dope:

What Michael Jackson bought for $47.5 million in 1985 was the publishing rights to 159 or 251 Beatles songs, depending on who's counting. To maybe oversimplify a complicated business, publishing rights are basically the sheet music rights. When Paul McCartney wanted to print the lyrics to "Eleanor Rigby" and other Beatles classics in the program for his 1989 world tour, he discovered he'd have to pay a fee to Michael Jackson. The owner of the publishing rights (hereinafter the publisher) also gets a royalty when someone plays a Beatles song on a jukebox or the radio or does a cover version of a Fab Four tune. Particularly in the case of elevator music, to which, let's be frank, a lot of Beatles tunes are well suited, this can earn the publisher some serious cash.

But there are a couple things the publisher can't do. The first is to mess with, or license the use of, Beatles recordings. Michael Jackson agreed to license the words and music of "Revolution" to Nike for a 1987 shoe commercial, but he had to persuade Capitol Records, owner of the tune's North American recording rights, to allow use of the actual record. Most likely he'd have to do the same to overdub said record with his own voice, although he might get away with including a snippet in a musical collage, something even John Lennon did that has now become impossible to control.

Another thing the publisher can't do (in the U.S. at least) is prevent somebody from recording a cover version of a song the publisher owns. Usually the would-be cover artist and the publisher work out a deal on royalties. However, if negotiations fail, U.S. law allows the cover artist to make and market the recording anyway provided he pays a stipulated (and fairly stiff) royalty to the publisher.

The point is, being a publisher doesn't give you all that much control over the songs you own; mainly it gives you the right to the profits they earn. You don't even get to keep all of that; typically you have to give 50% to each song's composer(s), one reason not to feel too sorry for Paul McCartney and the estate of John Lennon. Another reason is that McCartney, despite having gotten skunked out of his own songs, contrived to buy the rights to 3,000 others, including the Buddy Holly catalog, and reportedly is worth $600 million. Not that he's happy, of course. Paul's mad at Michael Jackson not merely because he lost control of the Beatles library but also because Jackson won't discuss giving McCartney a higher composer's royalty for the old tunes.

The last reason not to feel sorry for Paul is that if he got skunked it's his own fault. In the 60s, to avoid confiscatory British taxes, he and Lennon turned their publishing rights over to newly-organized Northern Songs, a publicly-held company in which they owned sizable but apparently not controlling blocks of stock. In 1969 music mogul Lew Grade launched a takeover bid for Northern Songs in which he offered seven times the stock's original offering price. Lennon and McCartney, feuding as usual, were unable to organize an effective defense and the company was sold out from under them. This made them even more fabulously wealthy than they already were, since their stock was now worth seven times as much. However, they were still pissed on account of, you know, the principle of the thing. The Teeming Millions can surely sympathize.

Explanation by Cecil Adams here mostly agrees, though it says the upper limit is when the particles are traveling so fast they gain so much mass that each particle becomes a singularity. IIRC, it's impossible for any object with a nonzero rest mass to actually reach c.

actually the sound of one hand clapping is explained here

Whoa....if it's in the Chicago Sun Times then it must be true!

Uncle Cecil excepted, of course.

The *real* name for this is photic sneezing. Get the Straight Dope on it from this page. There was an article on it in Discover magazine; you might be able to find that online. A quick search just turns up this, which isn't the article I remember, but contains the interesting fact that "The trait travels in families -- approximately 50 percent of children born to photic sneezers are photic sneezers themselves -- so it should be possible to identify one or more genes that are responsible."

1. Affects about 1 in 4
2. Prodominantly affects caucasians
3. You have about a 50% chance of inheriting it from your a parent

The width of a railroad track goes back to the width of horse-drawn vehicles that ran on standardized rutted roads, which in turn was based on slightly more than twice the width of a horse's rear end. Let Cecil Adams explain the rest.

Remember, in soviet russia people talk of rockets killing terrorists. hyuck hyuck!

Most definately much closer to a floppy. From StarCard Technology Page:

"A flexible magnetic disk is housed inside a cavity created between the top and bottom layers of the card."

"A window is provided on the bottom and a shutter that slides between the layers of the card, backs this window sealing the disk enclosure. An external mechanism (in the StorReader) can actuate this shutter opening the window and providing access to the recording disk."

Is it just me, or is this sounding very familiar? I think I have a couple hundred things around my room that fit this description.

Don't get me wrong though, having a 100 meg floppy the the size of a credit card would be great. If it can stand up to daily use and carrying, with the potential of scaling, then I may well seriously consider getting one when they appear locally.

Just watch you don't put in in your eelskin wallet!
(Yes, I know that was solved already.)

So it isn't to finally make bananas that can get you high?

And they wonder why there are riots, unrest, protests, marches, and the like. It is, at it's worst, a government of, by, and for those who have enough money to buy whatever they want.

Make your own laws? They say? I've heard that kind of remark before. "Let them eat cake," so said another of high ranking authority who also distained the common man's plight.

Make our own laws? But who will get them passed in Congress? It is like a peasant fighting a knight, on horse back, with a broadsword, shield, and expert training. When you are up against a company which makes well over a billion dollars a year, can buy and sell lawyers, corporations, and even Congressmen - what hope does someone have of getting a law passed that does for the common man what it removes from the common corporation? The answer is none.

Like kingdoms of old we now have kings to whom we give our allegiance. They are known as CEOs, CFOs, and the board of dictators - sorry - directors. The writings of the forefathers of the USA warned us of this happening. Of the influence which the wealthy can have over those of lesser men. They told us we would become slaves if we were not always vigilant. But we have slept and we find that, in the silence of the night, we have been shackled by invisible chains. We are told that, like errant children, we must be punished for wanting what our forefathers had.

"It is a new world," they say. "The same old laws no longer apply." The laws were good laws I say. They kept tyranny, despotism, conspiracy, and slavery at bay. Now, we have no protections. Like Orwell's 1984 we now have people who are disappearing never to return. Towers of minitruth, minilove, and minipeace. For spin doctors have found a way to twist the truth so that you or I might just simply vanish. No proof is needed any longer. Just a word - that's all.

"And how does this hurt us?", you ask? It used to be that you could expect to be able to use something within a generation or two. Now you will die before these things are free. Your children will die and your grandchildren will die. And even then they may not be free. It is not so much that Congress has the right to extend the "limited time" clause but that they do so to the exclusion of the needs of the American people. That is to say - the balance has not only be overweighed by Congress' rash actions but the balance can't even be located any longer. Congress has done away with it. So who cares if Mickey Mouse is saved so the Walt Disney company can make money? The idea is change. We have stagnation. Inertia at its best. And oh! Don't touch that scared cow - it might produce better milk if treated right but we will make due with what little trickles from it's udders.

Here is a prophesy for you: When people begin refusing to pay money to the corporations, the corporations will attempt to force everyone to pay them willingly or not.

Anyone for DRM? Secure Internet? It's only for your own good you know. Oh! You want your freedom? Silly person! You really just want this new CD right? Or maybe this game? Just give us your mind, body, and soul and we will give you just about anything you want. See? Now you can be happy!

Personally? I think it all sucks.

Hi people,

Here's my attempt at a BOFH Adaptation. I thought the ./ crowd might appreciate this more than the other people. It's also available on the bulletin board.

Ring Bearer from Hell
(RBFH ... adaptation from the BOFH -- The Bastard Operator From Hell)

We're out of food in the middle of nowhere-fucks-ville so I'm pissed. All we have left are these stupid elvish things. What the hell do they call them? To hell with it! They taste like fucking cardboard gone stale.

Being the RBFH, I'm at least able ot keep myself entertained. I slip the Ring on and give Gimli a huge wedgie. That'll keep me snickering for a couple hours. At least I won't have to listen to him go on about Galadriel. What a bitch! First we go blindfolded, then she nearly lets me fall into her fucking water bowl, Ring and all.

Aragorn decides to counsel with me. "We have a follower," he squaks.

"Oh" (thinking -- what the hell do you expect does he expect me to do it? You're the one that let him get away!)

"It's your decision, as the ring bearer: should we let him follow or try and catch the sneak?"

Just then Legolas starts talking like a typical know-it-all Elf. God, will he EVER SHUT UP?

"I don't think it wise for us to ignore him. He might try and sneak up on us while we rest."

I was getting so hungry. Those damn lembas or lambdas or whateverthehellthosethingsare suck. "Let's catch the slimey twirp," I announce. "I want some real food."

Gimli starts pulling at his pants. Maybe if he didn't spend so much time sitting on that axe of his, I think to myself and start laughing.

"What are you laughing at, halfling?" Gimli asks in front of the Company.

Aragorn jumps in. Damn. I thought I was going to have fun, for once. Gods, we all need a good hit from some sweet pipe-weed.

"Let's not fight. We have bigger challenges ahead of us. Now, the ring bearer has decided we shall catch him. But to eat him? Do you think Sam can do it?"

I have to hand it to the old man, Sam wasn't too bright. And he's no fun, either; I don't even have to do any work to make an ass of him. He's always talking about his Gaffer-this and Gaffer-that. Jesus. He's worse than Legolas.

>dummy mode on<

"Sam, do you think you can handle cooking the smelly thing? I'm fucking famished!"

Sam turns, "Oh master!" (fuck, I hate it when he pulls that shit) "Oh master I shall try my best to cook up something nice. Send Merry and Pippin to get some 'taters and veggies and we'll cook up a good stew."

"Sure thing" Now I wanted to shove Sting up his back-side for saying 'taters. *groans*

.... after they eat and the RBFH is on watch while everyone sleeps ...

Now what am I supposed to do? Everyone's sleeping. And fucking Gimli is being so loud I think the whole of Middle Earth can hear. This is so boring. I should have just given the stupid Ring to the smelly guy on the horse. I would have saved myself a whole lot of worthless time.

I figure I'll go down to the river and fill-up bottles of water, put them in Sam's backpack to weigh him down even more. The stupid moron probably won't even notice.

.... in the morning ....

So Sam gets up and I tell him that I've taken some of his weight and put it into my pack.

"Hey thanks!" he says.

What a moron. He will *never* learn. I think I'm going to cast him into Mount Doom when I have the chance.

Ran this article recently which says tinfoil just isn't enough, and to construct a faraday cage to be impervious to alien influence.

Personally I think that they really need professional help if they believe in aliens, but if it keeps the government from reading my mind I'm all for it!

Oh, and this is funny too.

Hope you've got a backup strategy...

God forbid he ever had to research Katerina the Great.

The way I've heard it explained, vodka martinis should be shaken, rather than stirred, as shaking ends up producing a colder beverage, and vodka is more palatable cold. This is in contrast to gin, which tastes like crap no matter how it is served. (Just kidding.) While confirming the veracity of my answer, I found that the Straight Dope has a nice explanation of this subject, as they often do.

Or you can steadfastly refuse to pay the fee and end up like this guy.

--
Evan "Not a native speaker, but talked to several who never thought of it"

Crisis != danger + opportunity (well, not quite...)

You mean this episode. But here's a real-life example.

Cecil Adams of the Straight Dope researched the topic of Vatican porn. His findings are here

It's a neat story though.

I'd imagine a lot of the art they contain might depict the naked human body, but I hear there really isn't much in the way of 'hubba hubba' ;)

Kevin

Pr0n, pr0n and more pr0n.

The Vatican supposedly has the largest collection of erotica in the world.

Cecil Adams disagrees, though, so I suppose it must not be true.

Pr0n, pr0n and more pr0n.

The Vatican supposedly has the largest collection of erotica in the world.

Cecil Adams disagrees, though, so I suppose it must not be true.

I would imagine most Slashdotters are aware that the Vatican is the head of the Roman Catholic Church. Another factoid, but possibly not so obvious, is that the Bible as we know it today -- most people are familiar with the King James Version -- is a collection of works whose inclusion (or exclusion if you want to think of it that way) is more or less arbitrary. For example, "Esther" is omitted (yes, I'm serious).

So what I'm getting at is whether the Vatican plans on opening up all works for perusal or do they plan on omitting certain works based, possibly, on how well the information fits in with the desired line of thinking.

What if there are works that don't dovetail with the accepted works? What if some writings in their collection outright contradict other writings? Is the Vatican ready to drop the line that theology is too important to leave to the commoners, really?

Mintzer, F. C., Boyle, L. E., Cazes, A. N., Christian, B. S., Cox, S. C., Giordano, F. P., Gladney, H. M., Lee J. C., Kelmanson, M. L., Lirani, A. C., Magerlein, K. A., Pavani, A. M. B., & Schiattarella, F. (1996). Toward online, worldwide access to Vatican library materials. IBM Journal of Research and Development, 40(2), 139-162.

But this project was to allow access to specified scholars. It's nice to see expanded access.

This happened when the Dead Sea Scrolls were fist reseased to a set of specific people. A data set was made available to the general public of word occurrences and relationships. A group of people used this data to compile the original texts, and released them to everyone. It pissed a lot of ivory tower types off, IIRC.

I wonder if it includes the Vatican's extra specail collections.

http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_356.html

The Straight Dope on radio receivers aboard aircraft.

for more on sex with vacuum cleaners, the always entertaining, always factual Cecil Adams.

A good correlation between two parameters does *not* prove that they are connected!

To quote the amazing Cecil Adams of Straight Dope fame (this is from Friday's column):

"But unlike civil juries or newspaper writers, scientists aren't permitted to equate correlation with causation. They can't be content merely to establish that A occurred, then B did; they have to find a precise mechanism of cause and effect."

A good correlation between two parameters does *not* prove that they are connected!

To quote the amazing Cecil Adams of Straight Dope fame (this is from Friday's column):

"But unlike civil juries or newspaper writers, scientists aren't permitted to equate correlation with causation. They can't be content merely to establish that A occurred, then B did; they have to find a precise mechanism of cause and effect."

A good correlation between two parameters does *not* prove that they are connected!

To quote the amazing Cecil Adams of Straight Dope fame (this is from Friday's column):

"But unlike civil juries or newspaper writers, scientists aren't permitted to equate correlation with causation. They can't be content merely to establish that A occurred, then B did; they have to find a precise mechanism of cause and effect."

Looks like an urban myth. The Straight dope delt with this a while ago.

You have my sympathy and concern for your child, but the according to a recent column in "Cecil Adam's" Straight Dope the 350,000 kids abducted number may be exagerated.

Yeah, just fundamental mathematical constants.

Is anyone knowlegable enough out there to take a guess at how much power may have been used for this project in the last four years and how the energy consumption translates to pollution?

For help, consider this discussion.

Of course, to calculate this, there are some assumptions that have to be made-- how many machines were on solely for the purpose of cracking keys, how much energy on average does a machine use, and what percentage of that is used by the processor when cracking, improvements in keycracking speed and energy efficiency over four years, etc.

Anyone up for it?

W

Much like Corn(tm)--we invented that too. That stuff the Native Americans used to grow was some other crop they called 'maize.'

You apparently didn't read today's Straight Dope. To most of the world, corn is any kind of local grain.

We've been gyped for all these...

A slur against Gypsies, tsk tsk.

Interesting point that language is constantly evolving, but I don't think that the example you gave is a good one. Check out this page or this one for a rebuttal. Both pages are discussions on the origin of "OK" and although there is not a general consensus, neither page even mentions that "OK" could be a shortened version of "okay".

The Straight Dope on air fresheners.

Your parent actually looks rather culturally ignorant. There was a very well-known court case in Australia in the mid-80s about a mother (Lindy Chamberlain) who was accused of murdering her baby, Azaria. She claimed that instead a dingo ate her baby. Eventually she was let off after spending a few years in prison. Anyway, I think that is the origin of these "dingo ate my baby" quips. I'd never seen the Seinfeld episode actually, but most reasonably educated Australians would have heard of that case. If you want the full story, go to http://www.straightdope.com/columns/000922.html

Well, the new Beetle is water-cooled. Besides, the idea for air-cooling the original Beetle came from Hitler.

There's no wind on the moon, so obviously the flag can't wave in the wind--it'd just hang down limply, and look ugly. To counter this, they put a stiff wire that sticks out horizontally in the top of the flagpole. The flag hangs down from that wire. Sorry, no direct URL right now, but I believe Cecil Adams talked about the whole thing somewhere on The Straight Dope.

Oh, and is this a FP?

Just in case anyone still believes that old tale... get the straight dope here.

I could be wrong here, but I think the USPS (letters, not packages) is very reasonably-priced.

You are absolutely right. This information is nearly a decade old, but I'm sure the trend holds, as first-class postage has only gone up 8 cents in the interim.

The Straight Dope tackled this question:
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_247a.html