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I'm still waiting for Apple to announce the Macbook Wheel

Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Hundred Fingers

Why don't they just use Google's opt-out feature.

The first laser picks out imperfections in the surface of a tabletop while the second laser...

Sound familiar? This sounds to me like it could be the start of a Gillette vs Schick style pissing contest, the absurd current state of which was foretold by The Onion.

Let me go on record as predicting Microsoft will bring out a 3-laser mouse within 12 months. With an ergonomic grip and lubricating strips on each end.

Yes, lest we get Quantum Flux Poisoning!

in this case I don't see how it was possible for you to misinterpret my words unless you were reading too quickly with your mind actively repelling reality...

That, or I was taking you at your word. You said "energy", so I used that word the way I understand it.

If you meant something different, the problem is that pseudoscientific people use the word "energy" to refer to all kinds of stuff. Kind of like science fiction and "Quantum Flux" (which could also be "subspace") -- it's a convenient term that people sort of understand, so you steal it to describe something different. Eventually, the term loses all practical meaning -- kind of like "cloud computing".

What's more, I would think you'd be excited at the prospect that Qi could be measured -- in Joules, no less. Were this the case, it'd certainly give your position more credibility. Oh well.

What is more likely is that you're simply trying to lie to yourself retroactively...

I have to ask: Do you actually listen to yourself? Do you realize how you've managed to sound both incredibly silly and highly offensive here?

But no, it's not really worth having much of a discussion with someone who's going to call me a liar to my face (and then whine about me being ad-hom). But let's see what you've got in the other thread.

This is Sci-Fi, you can just make shit up as you please

And anything mysterious you need to justify, you can just attribute to Quantum Flux.

I'm sure there's nothing to worry about.

Google already has an opt-out facility ordinary people can use...video here.

That only works on intelligent falling theorists.

In 20 years people will go "meh" over the antics of Marilyn Manson and whatever other "shock rockers" we may have today.

In 20 years? Nobody has ever responded to Marilyn Manson with anything but "meh." Is there anyone on the planet who Manson has actually shocked?

Help is available here. http://www.theonion.com/content/video/ex_pedophile_shares_tips_on_how

Congratulations to Wikipedia for celebrating this historic ***ERIC IS A FAG*** milestone, only 750 years in the making!

Another case of life imitating Onion.

Are you evil, or is your God?

The Onion (a hilarious fake news site) wrote a wonderful piece on this after the 9/11 attacks. How such a humorous website can create something so good is beyond me, but here it is: God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule.

Apparently.

And you wouldn't be able to open the car... However, it would be sleek and shiny, and visible to only the most *loyal* customers.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/apple_claims_new_iphone_only

When the time comes, we'll need to add a fourth law of robotics: Stop fingering my wife!

You remind me of this guy.

I don't read that as calling for a bubble, rather he is pointing out that Greenspan is trapped and must create another one to sustain the already inflated valuations. This implies that he's putting off a problem rather than dealing with it. Which does seem to be what subsequently happened.

That's how I read it, too. Krugman continues in the same article:

Bear in mind also that government officials have a stake in accentuating the positive. The administration needs a recovery because, with deficits exploding, the only way it can justify that tax cut is by pretending that it was just what the economy needed. Mr. Greenspan needs one to avoid awkward questions about his own role in creating the stock market bubble.

Bush and Greenspan needed a bubble to sell their tax breaks. More recently, others (as Krugman has noted) have been demanding a bubble, too:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/recession_plagued_nation_demands

Looks like you made the news yourself.

After a while, you'll be wondering why you ever let that sh1t get into your brain for hours a day

Obligatory "Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Own A Television" link:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28694

I gave up TV a while ago and I don't miss it at all. It'll be one of the most liberating things you'll do.

The downside is that the urge to tell people that you don't watch TV becomes very, very strong. :)

Once again, real life imitates The Onion: Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Own A Television.

That's a funny article. I guess I would be imitating him if this wasn't the first time I've mentioned on /. that I don't own a TV. Come to think of it, the last person who I told that I didn't own or watch a TV was a salesgirl at Frys who asked me if I had cable or satellite. That was some 4 months ago.

Give it a go. You'd be amazed at how quickly you stop worrying about what's on the TV anyway.

This. I gave up TV a while ago and I don't miss it at all. It'll be one of the most liberating things you'll do. After a while, you'll be wondering why you ever let that shit get into your brain for hours a day. Just like how a chain smoker quits and starts wondering to himself why he let himself breathe in a pack a day worth of smoke and carcinogens.

Every once in a while, I'll watch the Daily Show or 30 Rock, but I figure that's like having the occasional smoke or cigar with a drink.

People can go on and on with their righteous indignation over how they record their HDTV programming but when you walk away from it, you'll realize that getting your panties in a twist about a TV program is indicative of an addiction, not rationality.

Once again, real life imitates The Onion: Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Own A Television.

Obligatory Onion:

Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Own A Television

It's true, there was a news report on it recently.

Unless the price comes down to 360 levels. It's not like the PS3 has an exclusive I particularly want anyway.

Besides, this is just going to be another one of Sony's stupid box things that doesn't fucking do the thing it's goddamn fucking supposed to. Most of Sony's products are motherfucking time vampires anyway and are completely ass backwards as fuck, even if they do have more megabytes and megapixels than all the TV shit that I already have.

Yes, I shamelessly ripped off the ONN.

Too late: they've already got the MacBook Wheel.

Reminds me of this funny little piece: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/myspace_outage_leaves_millions

s/myspace/twitter/g

They're not only evil. To add insult to insure they're also completely incompetent. As usual the Onion is spot on ("sony releases new stupid piece of shit that doesn't fucking work").

Reminds me of this gem:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/china_strong

The Onion had a great take on there profitability: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/even_ceo_cant_figure_out_how

And not even the CEO can figure out how!

No Radio Shack article is complete without The Onion's business analysis.

that Radio Shack is still in business

This guy can't figure it out either

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/even_ceo_cant_figure_out_how

The rebranding of "The Shack" is because it's the only thing the marketing company could come up with that beat the more-apt "Crap Shack" moniker.

Remember: Even the Radio Shack CEO can't figure out how his company stays in business.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/even_ceo_cant_figure_out_how

I'm not normally a huge Onion fan, but this article is so spot-on, it brings a smile to my face every time I think of it.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28467

Poor guy.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/u_s_holds_going_out_of_business

He's still wrong - I'm pretty sure mp3 phones were around before 5 years ago, and it was also around 2004 that companies were hyping viewing video on then new 3G phones.

Now 11 years ago, that's when we laughed at the idea of video on compuers :)

Sorry, the Onion beat you to it.

Actually, the USDOT has known this for some time.

Definition: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puffery
Example: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31864

I can't believe how many people here won't take Apple at their word. They're only looking out for your best interests. And anyway, with a bad attitude like that how do you expect to be allowed to buy the new improved iPhone? You don't want to miss out.

Indeed.

Nice to hear from you.

Yeah, 'cause in real life, people really do get sucked into their computers all of the time...

You are right they do! Plus, why else would the Onion be making news out of it?

Correct. The thinkpad is aimed at people who want to work, rather than those who just want to dick around.