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It's people like these who are doing the important work in making Klingon into such a successful modern language! Of course, they should also learn other, equally important languages.

Oh yeah, I read that one.

I am posting this with OmniWeb 4.5sp1.

As a matter of fact, the WebCore engine doesn't seem to make it very fast. Is there any way I can make automated, scientific testing? On a dual 1.2 Ghz G4, The Onion takes about 11 seconds to display with Omniweb, which isn't faster than Safari v60. Mozilla 1.4a with http pipelining enabled takes about 8.

On a sidenote, there are some nice new features. Those I've noticed so far are a new download manager and a manual pop-up "Form Editor" that can be used for typing text in a -- you have to try it for yourself. These may already have been implemented in 4.2, which I haven't tried.

I haven't noticed any features missing from the previous versions. In another comment, Gogo Dodo asked whether the Error Log was still here. It is, and it's quite verbose, as can be expected from a beta.

I hope we will see some good features in the next Omniweb release. It's a very nice browser but not having tabs is a pain. Compared to something like Mozilla, it is often quite unpractical.

These remotes might be "all that", but nothing beats this one in terms of features and ease of use.

anyone else having problems connecting to Slashdot today?

here

With the article New Toilet to Revolutionize Online Shitting

This is old news... The Onion had a story about it over three years ago!

That reminds me of a conversation I had with a german colleague. He suggested that the whole matter could be sorted out if Bush and Hussein had a gunfight at dawn.

this is an archive of historic documents, why do you worry that it will be interpeted as a "propoganda machine"

Also, the Constitution does not, in any way, forbid a standing military.

primary role of the President is to command the military

I do not agree that the government is trying to break the Constitution.

But there have also been times in the past when the constitional rights came under great strain (such as the Civil War).

advice from the onion
on this topic :

you and me
plus baby
minus me
makes two

See this article for more info.

You got it in one. Oddly enough, The Onion has quite an effective peice up right now.

Unless, of course, you work for The Onion, which has a license to parody.

Where did they obtain this license?
Did they renew it?
Does the license allow their parody to be used for publication in a non-private setting?

Unless, of course, you work for The Onion, which has a license to parody.

(Although I trust their insight more than CNNs...)

April fools day on slashdot sort of blows.

Why don't we all just check out The Onion instead.

It's new today, and at least it's funny.

Yet it was obvious from the description:

The bit field is laid out as follows:

0
+-+
|E|
+-+

Currently-assigned values are defined as follows:

0x0 (snip)
0x1

The press release is pretty clear: "For years, in the interest of the overall health of the computer industry, we permitted the free and unfettered use of our proprietary numeric systems. However, changing marketplace conditions and the increasingly predatory practices of certain competitors now leave us with no choice but to seek compensation for the use of our numerals."

More terrifying are the implications, if you keep reading: "Because all integers and natural numbers derive from one and zero, Microsoft may, by extension, lay claim to ownership of all mathematics and logic systems, including Euclidean geometry, pulleys and levers, gravity, and the basic Newtonian principles of motion, as well as the concepts of existence and nonexistence," Yale University theoretical mathematics professor J. Edmund Lattimore said. "In other words, pretty much everything."

After all, these guys invented the Internet, right ?

The Onion is posting *real* news today...

Look at The Onion! They are also pulling a "all news are bogus" day. Man, where am I supposed to get informed today then?

I guess I'll have to rely on good old trusted news from fark or bbspot.

This is an attempt by the beleaguered BSD community to consolidate, postponing BSD's inevitable death.

I think this is an excellent idea. Consolidation will reduce re-invention and focus developers. Other projects/programs I'd like to see consolidated:

MacOSX and YellowDog Linux
Linux and WheatoniX
bash and ksh
Gnome and KDE
KnomeDE and Enlightenment 1.0
Windows 2003 Server and BackOrifice
Metal Gear, Tomb Raider, and Tetris
GIMP and MSPaint
Slashdot and The Onion... oh, wait. Never mind.

This one fell off within seconds after the first time it was posted.

The Onion has taken all the good ideas.

His business practices are still profoundly anticompetitive- he still inspires fervent loyalty from many long-term individual and institutional customers and ruthlessly uses this loyalty, with supplimental FUD campaigns, to discourage alternative products from succeeding in the metaphysical marketplace. In spite of attempts by some of his competitors, such as Buddism, to be compatable with his product, his middle managers and customer support personnel often act to discourage such compatability.

Several versions of the source code for his product are available, but all of these are early beta test versions unimplementable as written. There is heated argument as to which of these distributions is the best one to use. Local implementation of this code nearly always modifies the code so heavily that it is unrecognizable as the original, but users rarely share details of what modifications they've made.

What fucking age are you? 14?

This isn't a political protest and its not getting back at "the man". Its spoiling other peoples leisure time. And if you haven't learned yet that you have to get on with people of other belief systems then I hope you are still young or otherwise your fucked.

Thanks for the thoughtful reply

Actually, The Onion covered this matchup in their Point-Counterpoint section about 3 years ago. It was most excellent.

The off-beat humour reminds me of The Onion, though missing the satire aspect. Mildly droll article but missing a clever twist to make it funny.

Phillip.

Thats why I get all my news from the finest news source.

Are kids these days getting more stupid? I hope not, but looking at the problems asked in the last five years...

Yeah of course. Have you not read this news story?

Microsoft Beat You To It

Hey everyone, lets put on an avant garde show!

Is it just me, or does Dvorak always read like Jackie Harvey's The Outside Scoop?

"What's this I hear about HP bringing out the successor to the iPaq next month? I think it's about time, the flat screen and metal arm design always looked like an orange attacking a sheet of paper.

Item! Steve Bellmar and the wacky crew at Apple Computer will be releasing their next computer, which will use Intel's Itanium processor. Careful, or that'll be a baked apple!"

Separated at birth? I think so.

I read about you.

You asked for it.

But if Jesus can die for my sins, in effect giving me credit to sin by his good deeds, why can't I earn myself credit by doing a good deed (helping out those starving artists) to be redeemed at a later date for file trading? :)

I recommend looking to The Onion. It is, after all, America's Finest News Source.

In all seriousness, I shall probably be checking the BBC's web site regularly (News Ticker (Win32) | RSS), as well as buying a decent newspaper for greater depth and insight.

Of course, for those committed to both sides of the argument, I recommend visiting Al-Jazeera with the use of a Arabic-English translator. Apparently, Al-Jazeera will soon be launching an English language service (e.g. the end of March).

I recommend looking to The Onion. It is, after all, America's Finest News Source.

In all seriousness, I shall probably be checking the BBC's web site regularly (News Ticker (Win32) | RSS), as well as buying a decent newspaper for greater depth and insight.

Of course, for those committed to both sides of the argument, I recommend visiting Al-Jazeera with the use of a Arabic-English translator. Apparently, Al-Jazeera will soon be launching an English language service (e.g. the end of March).

I recommend looking to The Onion. It is, after all, America's Finest News Source.

In all seriousness, I shall probably be checking the BBC's web site regularly (News Ticker (Win32) | RSS), as well as buying a decent newspaper for greater depth and insight.

Of course, for those committed to both sides of the argument, I recommend visiting Al-Jazeera with the use of a Arabic-English translator. Apparently, Al-Jazeera will soon be launching an English language service (e.g. the end of March).

I recommend looking to The Onion. It is, after all, America's Finest News Source.

In all seriousness, I shall probably be checking the BBC's web site regularly (News Ticker (Win32) | RSS), as well as buying a decent newspaper for greater depth and insight.

Of course, for those committed to both sides of the argument, I recommend visiting Al-Jazeera with the use of a Arabic-English translator. Apparently, Al-Jazeera will soon be launching an English language service (e.g. the end of March).

I recommend looking to The Onion. It is, after all, America's Finest News Source.

In all seriousness, I shall probably be checking the BBC's web site regularly (News Ticker (Win32) | RSS), as well as buying a decent newspaper for greater depth and insight.

Of course, for those committed to both sides of the argument, I recommend visiting Al-Jazeera with the use of a Arabic-English translator. Apparently, Al-Jazeera will soon be launching an English language service (e.g. the end of March).

Best line: And who else but sweet Rosemarie, the golden-haired darling of our gang, should play the part of the slovenly mother-whore who's constantly giving birth to fist-sized maggots?

Military Promises 'Huge Numbers' For Gulf War II: The Vengeance

WASHINGTON, DC--At a Pentagon press conference Monday, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld touted the military's upcoming Gulf War II: The Vengeance as "even better than the original."

"If you thought the first one was good, just wait until you see the sequel," Rumsfeld said of Gulf War II, scheduled to hit Iraqi theaters of operation March 22. "In the original, as you no doubt know, we defeat Saddam Hussein, only to let him slip away at the very end. This time, we're going back in to take out the trash." ...

You are absolutely correct. The Onion makes a similar point, in their usual over-the-top manner:

Military Promies 'Huge Numbers' for Gulf War II: The Vengeance

-Mike

You could be next...

Getting Mom onto Internet a Sisyphean Ordeal

If I recall correctly (and it's mentioned in his recent Onion-AV-club interview), one of the major factors that made Berke Breathed retire was that comic strips were being shrunk to unreadable sizes. (This is currently really annoying me with Boondocks, even ONLINE fer Goodness sake!).

I always wondered, though, what if Berke had followed the path blazed by Dr. Fun , who from day 1 was publishing a 640x480 color image for each panel? Keep each daily strip 480 pixels high, and stipulate that it not be shrunk ... end of problem!

Kid Rock Starves to Death: MP3 Piracy Blamed. Sad, but true.

I think I've seen this before...

Sorry, but It's been done before.

--madgeorge

Why, while I read this, did the phrase "bread and circuses, bread and circuses..." keep on looping through my brain?

I don't know--what the fuck does "bread and circuses" mean?

If not in the US (which seems to have an allergy to publicly supported art), then maybe in Europe or Asia.

"These congressmen must be held accountable," said Ronald Drake, a Lincoln, NE, hardware-store owner. "My hard-earned tax dollars will be supporting repertory theaters and art galleries--places no decent, hard-working American would ever set foot in. And then there's the museums I always hear about on the news, with the dirty photos and whatnot."