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9 steps to greasing your anus for Yoda Doll Insertion!
v 4.98.0
$YodaBSD: src/release/doc/en_US.ISO8859-1/yodanotes/9stepprocess.sgml,v 4.98.0 2016/10/30 13:30:20 tsarkon Exp $

1. Defecate. Preferably after eating senna, ex lax, prunes, cabbage, pickled eggs, and Vietnamese chili garlic sauce. To better enhance the pleasure of this whole process, defecation should be performed in the Return of the Jedi wastebasket for added pleasure.
2. Wipe ass with witch hazel, which soothes horrific burns. (Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda certifies that his lips, raw like beaten flank steak from nearly continuous analingus with dogs, are greatly soothed by witch hazel which makes it perfect for the anus after diarrhea.)
3. Prime anus with anal ease. (Now Cherry Flavored for those butthole lick-o-phillic amongst you - very popular with 99% of the Slashdotting public!)
4. Slather richly a considerable amount of Vaseline and/or other anal lubricants into your rectum at least until the bend and also take your Yoda Doll , Yoda Shampoo bottle or Yoda soap-on-a-rope and liberally apply the lubricants to the Yoda Doll/Yoda Shampoo/Yoda Soap-on-a-rope. You may need your gay squire/lover to help with this since your fat corpulent ass cannot do a self-reach-around.
5. Put a n1gger do-rag on Yoda's head so the ears don't stick out like daggers!
6. Make sure to have a mechanism by which to fish Yoda out of your rectum, the soap on the rope is especially useful because the retrieval mechanism is built in.
7. Pucker and relax your balloon knot. Doing Kegel exercises several times actuating the sphincter muscle and relaxing it will help prepare your ass for what is to come.
8. Slowly rest yourself onto your Yoda figurine. Be careful, he's probably bigger than the dicks normally being rammed up your ass!
9. Gyrate gleefully in your computer chair while your fat sexless geek nerd loser fat shit self enjoys the prostate massage you'll be getting. Think about snoodling with the Sarlaac pit. Read Slashdot. Masturbate to anime. Email one of the Slashdot editors hoping they will honor you with a reply. Join several more dating services - this time, you don't select the (desired - speaks English) and (desired - literate). You figure you might get a chance then. Order some fucking crap from Think Geek. Suck and gag on a Dr. Who sonic screwdriver like it was the Doctor's dick in your mouth. Get Linux to boot on a Black and Decker Toaster Oven. Wish you could afford a new computer. Argue that cheap-ass discount bin hardware works 'just as well' as the quality and premium hardware because you can't afford the real stuff. Make claims about how Linux rules. Compile a kernel on your 486SX. Claim to hate Windows but use it for World of Warcraft. Admire Ghyslain's courage in making that wonderful Star Wars movie. Officially convert to the Jedi religion. Talk about how cool Mega Tokyo is. Try and make sure you do your regular 50 story submissions to Slashdot, all of which get rejected because people who aren't fatter than CowboyNeal

9 steps to greasing your anus for Yoda Doll Insertion!
v 4.98.0
$YodaBSD: src/release/doc/en_US.ISO8859-1/yodanotes/9stepprocess.sgml,v 4.98.0 2016/10/30 13:30:20 tsarkon Exp $

1. Defecate. Preferably after eating senna, ex lax, prunes, cabbage, pickled eggs, and Vietnamese chili garlic sauce. To better enhance the pleasure of this whole process, defecation should be performed in the Return of the Jedi wastebasket for added pleasure.
2. Wipe ass with witch hazel, which soothes horrific burns. (Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda certifies that his lips, raw like beaten flank steak from nearly continuous analingus with dogs, are greatly soothed by witch hazel which makes it perfect for the anus after diarrhea.)
3. Prime anus with anal ease. (Now Cherry Flavored for those butthole lick-o-phillic amongst you - very popular with 99% of the Slashdotting public!)
4. Slather richly a considerable amount of Vaseline and/or other anal lubricants into your rectum at least until the bend and also take your Yoda Doll , Yoda Shampoo bottle or Yoda soap-on-a-rope and liberally apply the lubricants to the Yoda Doll/Yoda Shampoo/Yoda Soap-on-a-rope. You may need your gay squire/lover to help with this since your fat corpulent ass cannot do a self-reach-around.
5. Put a n1gger do-rag on Yoda's head so the ears don't stick out like daggers!
6. Make sure to have a mechanism by which to fish Yoda out of your rectum, the soap on the rope is especially useful because the retrieval mechanism is built in.
7. Pucker and relax your balloon knot. Doing Kegel exercises several times actuating the sphincter muscle and relaxing it will help prepare your ass for what is to come.
8. Slowly rest yourself onto your Yoda figurine. Be careful, he's probably bigger than the dicks normally being rammed up your ass!
9. Gyrate gleefully in your computer chair while your fat sexless geek nerd loser fat shit self enjoys the prostate massage you'll be getting. Think about snoodling with the Sarlaac pit. Read Slashdot. Masturbate to anime. Email one of the Slashdot editors hoping they will honor you with a reply. Join several more dating services - this time, you don't select the (desired - speaks English) and (desired - literate). You figure you might get a chance then. Order some fucking crap from Think Geek. Suck and gag on a Dr. Who sonic screwdriver like it was the Doctor's dick in your mouth. Get Linux to boot on a Black and Decker Toaster Oven. Wish you could afford a new computer. Argue that cheap-ass discount bin hardware works 'just as well' as the quality and premium hardware because you can't afford the real stuff. Make claims about how Linux rules. Compile a kernel on your 486SX. Claim to hate Windows but use it for World of Warcraft. Admire Ghyslain's courage in making that wonderful Star Wars movie. Officially convert to the Jedi religion. Talk about how cool Mega Tokyo is. Try and make sure you do your regular 50 story submissions to Slashdot, all of which get rejected because people who aren't fatter than CowboyNeal

Yea....., talk to the people living next to him. Ukraine and Poland come to mind. "He's harmless". "Pay no attention to the 10K+ troops sitting on your doorstep". Are you REALLY that stupid? But considering your uid number, I am thinking your are in the category of those who all joined around the same time as the Soros funded "Resist by any means possible" movement. I bet you thought it was "cute" to name your fictitious username for the Urban slang for "Green Party". Just more money spent on supporting the people who invested all their wealth in the Carbon Credit Tax scam.

I can put up with the anorexia, and projectile vomiting, but the bayarrhea is too much. Is there a non-bayarrhea version?

Meh. $39.95/mo, 50 channels and the only good ones are Cartoon Network, FX/FXX, SyFy and the Hitler Channel. If it had Comedy Central and CW, maybe. Still a bit high. I'd still only want it for their "cloud DVR" since watching live tv is really inconvenient, that's what led me to torrents in the first place.

"Blood and Soil" is a reference to what's in their underpants, right? Like some simpler way of saying santorum?

Sarcasm noted, point made, although the language used opens you up to 'boomerang abuse'.

Perhaps that's why my post was moderated as "Flamebait"? Or perhaps someone just disagreed with my point.

If you feel my language was out of line then I apologize to you. I didn't intend to be unpleasant. I used the word because it is a popular neologism that connotes extreme badness in a vague and nonspecific way, and as far as I can tell is popular among SJWs as a putdown for anyone they don't like. In short this was a rude thing but also the kind of thing SJWs say.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shitlord&defid=9738032

I must confess, I am being hard on the SJWs here. But people who work at Google are supposed to be smart enough to read Damore's paper and understand what it actually says... I believe that these SJWs didn't exercise even basic diligence of trying to understand what the paper said.

Although the two situations are not quite the same, race being something you cannot discriminate against while personal opinion is not similarly protected, the situations are close enough that the comparison holds validity

There are elaborate rules in place to protect workers. They were originally created to protect union members from being fired for complaining about working conditions or for being members of a union, but they may protect Damore. According to this article Damore has an "above decent" chance to win.

http://www.businessinsider.com/james-damore-may-win-nlra-legal-case-google-2017-8

But aside from whether he meets some legal standard or not, I think morally the comparison works. People have publicly chastised Damore for being incredibly hurtful to women, saying things like "I couldn't in good conscience ever assign anyone to work with you ever again", with the implicit assumptions: (a) the words of his essay hurt these people a lot, (b) it's not these people's fault they hurt so much, it's Damore's fault for being so hurtful, (c) therefore Damore must be fired. This validates one of his complaints, that Google is trying to promote an atmosphere where certain thoughts are so wrong they may never be uttered.

A better metaphor would have been someone being fired for being gay. The comparison is nearly exact: a gay person can stay "in the closet", and similarly Damore was expected to stay "in the closet" and not challenge the echo chamber with forbidden ideas. And it would be "Sorry, I personally don't care if you're gay, but all these other people refuse to work with you because you're gay, and I can't fire all of them, so you have to go."

If Google had ever hired me, I'd be very much "in the closet" there, careful not to talk about anything. Damore has more guts than I have, it seems.

P.S. As a tactical matter, Damore should perhaps have adopted the language and tactics of the SJWs. He should have said "I find it hurtful when the mandatory diversity class tells me that as a white male I am innately an oppressor. I have a right not to be required to sit and have people say hurtful things to me." They could have fired him for that, too, but the hypocrisy would have been even more obvious.

http://www.urbandictionary.com...

There aren't any definitions for ircc yet.

Creimer, stop making up your own language. Or get an MRI for that diseased lump of lard between your elephant-like ears.

So how are the Amazon affiliate links providing you with that? Is someone threatening you with a lawsuit? Are you threatening someone with a lawsuit? You make no sense as usual.

"The most common definition that I've read "

Citation, please. You've "read" it, so feel free to provide a link.

http://www.urbandictionary.com...
https://www.quora.com/What-is-...
https://kopywritingkourse.com/...

The only place where your made-up definition applies is on your mother ship, as usual.

This is like closing the barn door after the horses have run away. We've already been impacted by plenty of fragments from Mars, comets, etc. If there's life elsewhere, it's possible it started via panspermia Then again, that's a pretty big "if" - there's no evidence one way or the other that there's life elsewhere - just WAGs made by wags (definition # 11 - someone not to be taken seriously)..

There is a profound difference between protesting the unfairness of marriage of what ever the sex or sexes in what ever combination or numbers and just being a slacker http://www.urbandictionary.com.... I give not one crap how bad the marriage partnership deal is for men, I am just a slacker and choose not to play a game that in all honesty does not really suit slackers, well, at least not this slacker.

The word, "fonding", is, "The act of looking at someone with such care that you radiate your love for them by simply staring at them."

The IRS does that job quite well. No need to create another layer of bureaucracy.

http://www.urbandictionary.com...

How about the Banshee PHP CMF?

Yeah... you may want to start scrolling down the Google images of Banshee and look up CMF (see definition 2 and my humble apologies in advance) before you recommend this to your boss as a safe substitute for Drupal.

I know some people might argue that this is an unfair generalization from one developer to the whole project; that Drupal insn't entirely about screwing you in gratuitous and unpleasant ways you can't escape from. Oh, who's kidding -- this was their plan all along.

*golf clap*

According to the Urban Dictionary

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=golf+clap#1279095

a "golf clap" can either be used sarcastically or sincerely. I do not know which sort of golf clap you intend. But either way, you aren't communicating clearly.

This is real. As best as I can tell, it's some idiotic slang form that resembles 'awakened'.

http://www.urbandictionary.com...

"Windows 95/98, (n): 32 bit extension and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprossessor, written by a 2 bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition."

http://www.urbandictionary.com...

...they're measuring their wood in dick inches.

And that was before those fancy-pants flatscreen jobbies too.

Flatscreen or not, I suspect a jobbie would make a shite monitor.

NOW FOR YODA GREASE!

How to Shove a Yoda Doll up your ass! The 9 Step Greased Up Yoda Doll Shoving process. Go Linux! Tsarkon Reports

9 steps to greasing your anus for Yoda Doll Insertion!
v 4.98.0
$YodaBSD: src/release/doc/en_US.ISO8859-1/yodanotes/9stepprocess.sgml,v 4.98.0 2016/10/30 13:30:20 tsarkon Exp $

1. Defecate. Preferably after eating senna, ex lax, prunes, cabbage, pickled eggs, and Vietnamese chili garlic sauce. To better enhance the pleasure of this whole process, defecation should be performed in the Return of the Jedi wastebasket for added pleasure.
2. Wipe ass with witch hazel, which soothes horrific burns. (Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda certifies that his lips, raw like beaten flank steak from nearly continuous analingus with dogs, are greatly soothed by witch hazel which makes it perfect for the anus after diarrhea.)
3. Prime anus with anal ease. (Now Cherry Flavored for those butthole lick-o-phillic amongst you - very popular with 99% of the Slashdotting public!)
4. Slather richly a considerable amount of Vaseline and/or other anal lubricants into your rectum at least until the bend and also take your Yoda Doll , Yoda Shampoo bottle or Yoda soap-on-a-rope and liberally apply the lubricants to the Yoda Doll/Yoda Shampoo/Yoda Soap-on-a-rope. You may need your gay squire/lover to help with this since your fat corpulent ass cannot do a self-reach-around.
5. Put a n1gger do-rag on Yoda's head so the ears don't stick out like daggers!
6. Make sure to have a mechanism by which to fish Yoda out of your rectum, the soap on the rope is especially useful because the retrieval mechanism is built in.
7. Pucker and relax your balloon knot. Doing Kegel exercises several times actuating the sphincter muscle and relaxing it will help prepare your ass for what is to come.
8. Slowly rest yourself onto your Yoda figurine. Be careful, he's probably bigger than the dicks normally being rammed up your ass!
9. Gyrate gleefully in your computer chair while your fat sexless geek nerd loser fat shit self enjoys the prostate massage you'll be getting. Think about snoodling with the Sarlaac pit. Read Slashdot. Masturbate to anime. Email one of the Slashdot editors hoping they will honor you with a reply. Join several more dating services - this time, you don't select the (desired - speaks English) and (desired - literate). You figure you might get a chance then. Order some fucking crap from Think Geek. Suck and gag on a Dr. Who sonic screwdriver like it was the Doctor's dick in your mouth. Get Linux to boot on a Black and Decker Toaster Oven. Wish you could afford a new computer. Argue that cheap-ass discount bin hardware works 'just as well' as the quality and premium hardware because you can't afford the real stuff. Make claims about how Linux rules. Compile a kernel on your 486SX. Claim to hate Windows but use it for World of Warcraft. Admire Ghyslain's courage in making that wonderful Star Wars movie. Officially convert to the Jedi religion. Talk about how cool Mega Tokyo is. Try and make sure you do your regular 50 story subm

the first amendment only prevents the government from censoring free speech. It doesn't compel them to provide one w/ a listening board.

That's true, but what's happening in this case is that the government is providing a listening board those who agree with them politically, not providing it to their ideological opponents, and not being completely honest and forthcoming about the censorship. Control of information and communication like this is one of Lifton's eight criteria for thought reform which is used judiciously in totalitarian countries to keep the populace under control.

trolling

I do not think it means what you think it means!

An expression of disbelief or surpise

As in, "Oh yoy" (Yiddish for "My cat could type better than your cat").

But equally valuable to the workers.

No, I don't think this is true — what ditch-digger would prefer a ditch he dug to a pastry? But even if he did value his ditch out of some sentimental attachment, what of it?

Actually. it's the capitalists who are eroding away the wealth of the workers and farmers. Haven't you noticed the disappearance of the middle class and increasing income inequality over the last few decades?

No, I haven't. And why is such inequality even a bad thing automatically and by itself? Is Michael Phelps' ability to swim so much better than that of the rest of us alarming? Should we impose a "windfall" tax on his Olympic medals? People have equal inalienable rights, but we aren't born equal. Unless you are also prepared to cripple the strong, lobotomize the smart, and disfigure the beautiful — for equality — why would you tax the successful?

But stipulating, the said disappearance of the middle class is both real and bad, why are you accusing the Capitalists of it — and not, for example, the ever increasing government "spreading" of everybody's wealth around? Or, for another example, not the trade policies favoring the truly oppressive (Marxist) China?

So, Don't feel too old.. Unless you where alive during WW2 working at Bletchley house or some other similar effort of the day.

In the future he'll take a "quantum leap" to WW2 Bletchley, where he'll make "incredible breakthroughs" because he already knows the answers, and then kill himself because AC posters are, well, you know, ghey*.

* ghey: Usurping the traditional term GAY to take the homosexual meaning out and leaving in the lame.

And by tying in facial recognition and other AI, it will be possible to make all kinda of inferences and connections and store all kinds of data about what normal citizens are doing.

Anyone who suffers from Resting Bitchface had better stay home. http://www.urbandictionary.com...

"How do you know she is a witch?

"She looks like one!"

Look at the British definition in particular:

http://www.urbandictionary.com...

Given sexconker's username, it may be that it wasn't the feathered kind of bird

Haux: some crazy mofo - that is you, I assume?

Bullshit, you marked me foe some time back because I wrote something critical of one of your little cheerleading pieces on Trump after the end of the primaries.

I have marked you a foe because I think you are are an idiot and have been for as long as I have been on Slashdot (likely longer than you). "Foe" is a holdover from the time when marking people as such actually let you downrank them out of existence so you wouldn't see their crap at all (a feature that has sadly disappeared).

As for Trump, when I say "I didn't support him", I simply mean that I didn't vote for him. I certainly have defended him against unwarranted attacks and attempts at character assassination. And so far, Trump hasn't done anything that particularly bothers me. On the other hand, I certainly don't hide the fact that I utterly despise Hillary and have for more than a decade, for her corruption, her lies, her opportunistic homophobia, and her incompetence. That's why I voted for Obama. It's also why I left the Democratic party last year and became an independent.

And to be crystal clear, if the election took place today, I probably would vote for Trump, because although I still don't like him, he has turned out to be less bad than expected, while Hillary, her supporters, and the Democratic party have behaved deplorably.

Does that clarify what "I didn't support him" mean? Or do you need me to draw you a map?

teabaggers

Who knew Republicans were so much fun.

Might as well rip it to HD if you're gonna put it on loop http://www.urbandictionary.com... (definition #5)

Anyway, considering how much tripe music wasted the intro playing the same four bars over four times with no added value, reduced intros might be a good thing. I mean, for shit music.

special snowflakes

You are using that wrong.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=special%20snowflake

http://www.urbandictionary.com... I had to look it up.

What is a bourke? http://www.urbandictionary.com... does not appear to help.

...be sure to see the infamous "Pile of Statues" AKA "Dookie in the Park": http://www.urbandictionary.com...

I would try to recommend a bar or club but the city council tends to shut them all down, or their landlords jack the rent and price them out. On the other hand, drive 15 minutes over to Campbell, CA and go to "The Garret" for the best damn pizza on Earth: http://thegarretrestaurant.com...

Oh, and Winchester Mystery House is in San Jose in case you weren't aware: http://www.winchestermysteryho...

... Wikadors

Butt aliens?

You mean ... Klingons?

There's a word for this method of solving a problem: it's a kluge.

Exactly what I came here to say.

Microsoft Developers have got to be the laziest on the planet. EVERYTHING that MS does is done for the ease of their Developers, regardless of what hoops or inconvenience it causes the User.

There's a word for this method of solving a problem: it's a kluge.

I think he was talking about a real dictionary, not an alt-facts one.

Not everything one doesn't like, agree with or understand is "fake news". And unless you're severely impaired, you must realize that there are other slang and common usages for words, like lemming and ostrich. And... I was replying to someone throwing around words like "snowflake" for "liberals" -- which is especially ironic (for lack of a better word) as Trump and is cabinet seem prone to throwing toddler temper-tantrums at the slightest slight, push-back or fact-check, which often and also ironically are composed of pointing out things he/they actually said, tweeted, etc... or are easily, objectively proven contrary -- apparently Trump doesn't understand how video/audio tape works.

But I digress. A common non-literal usage of lemming:

lemming
A member of a crowd with no originality or voice of his own. One who speaks or repeats only what he has been told.

Of course, it can be argued that there is a bit to a lot of this across the political spectrum, but it seems like Trump supporters and the Conservative news outlets, like Fox News, are especially prone to it.

Natural language is inherently ambiguous and real humans love to make it more so with slang and swearing. Take the story of the gorilla artist Jason Sprinkle from Seattle. He was once most known for attaching a ball and chain to the massive hammering man statue on labor day. He had a commission for an art project to support job corp where he made a giant heart and drove it around to different job corp sites where he allow participants to sign the art and his truck. Once person wrote on his truck, "“Timberlake Carpentry Rules (the ‘Bomb’)” on the front bumper of the truck" as a slang for very cool. One day, pre-9/11, he was upset with cuts to city art funding and decided to park the truck, heart and all, in Seattle's main square to draw attention to the arts. Needless to say, the police interpreted the graffiti on his truck literally and the artiest ended-up in jail for a month which essentially ruined his life. OK, cops panicking in the heat of the moment you might expect, but if in the cold light of day prosecutors and the courts have such a problem handling slang, what are the chances some brainless code will be able to handle it?

I could care less...

Retards you shouldn't be allowed to access the internet.

http://www.urbandictionary.com...

https://www.tenor.co/view/make...

um... http://www.urbandictionary.com...

Thanks for your hard work Grammar Nazi. Without your tireless efforts mass chaos would reign (dog and cats living together, and all that jazz).

I'm concerned about the literacy of the Slashdot editors. The summary contains the following phrase:

ditched the world "ill" from the name with a colon and two slashes

First, "ditched" is being used as a synonym for "switched". The verb "ditch" is a slang term that probably doesn't belong in a Slashdot summary. Moreover, the slang is being used incorrectly. "Ditch" is not a synonym for "switch". See http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ditch.

Second, the editor apparently intended to write "word" instead of "world". But that would still be wrong, because "ill" is not being used as a word when it appears in the name "Mozilla". Instead, "ill" is a sequence of letters .

And finally, even if we corrected the above two errors and wrote, "switched the sequence of letters 'ill' from the name with a colon and two slashes", it's still awkward grammar. It would be much more clear to just write, "switched the sequence of letters 'ill' to a colon and two slashes".

No problem. I'm down with the magic underwear, floating, and bubbling.

In the back seat? Only if the Uber car is on of those '50s roadmasters in Cuba, or you're both midgets, or you actually enjoy physical discomfort, or you just lay there dead (though there are probably some people get off on having a dead f*ck - probably pretending they're necrophiliacs).

Wow, snappy comeback by throwing in all those expletives describing someones intelligence. "Stupider????", Oh, never mind, definition says it all

Ah, the old Intersectionality claptrap, which is a brain dropping from the Post-Modernist ("We can use logic to disprove logic! Feels before reals!") bullshit that has infested American Academia and, through them, the American Left.

(Fun fact: Intersectionality is designed to make sure every other minority group eventually surrenders it's oppression to Women -- and especially White Women. Say something racist to a Latino? Insinuate you might not like to discover your girlfriend has a penis? Be worried at Radical Islamists moving into your neighborhood and harassing young women in the area? Somehow, the White Women on Twitter will use that to justify their delusions of being oppressed.)

Sorry to be the one to burst your bubble, but we don't live in a patriarchy. There is no such thing as "white privilege" -- only class privilege, which most third wave feminists (being upper-middle class hipster douchebags living off daddy's trust fund) NEVER speak of.

We're actually in a gynocentric society, which is why Women can rape young boys and get away with 15 days of community service, and if the young boy happens to be 18, well then that's not even rape in most states --because rape is SPECIFICALLY written to be something only men can be guilty of in most states.

And also, sorry, but no matter how much you defend the great Feminist overlords, they ain't going to give you a happy ending.

(Also note that the Intersectionality Marxists NEVER speak of "Asian Privilege," despite Asian Americans generally doing better socio-economically in the US in nearly every metric.)

I pay taxes ***OUT THE FUCKING NOSE*** in San Francisco, so the idea of **PAYING** for **PUBLIC** transportation is anathema to me.

I've been riding free for the past two days and I **salute the persons responsible for this***.

Your going to completely ***FLIP OUT*** when you ***GET THE BILL*** for the whambulence ***RIDE*** you're ***TAKING*** right now.