The Periodic Table of Comic Book Elements

Ender, Duke_of_URL brought this Periodic Table of Elements to our attention. Of course adamantium is missing, and chemical X doesn't belong in a table of the elements of the comic book universe, it's mostly a collection of golden age and later comics. Modern comics are sorely underrepresented, unfortunately.

Comments

Cry baby, cry

[Mao Zedong]

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Re:Cry baby, cry

[Anonymous Coward]

The "big lie," invented by the notorious Joseph Goebbels of Nazi infamy, is a mainstay of Arab hatred and propaganda. In Egypt and Jordan (the two Arab countries technically at peace with Israel), government-controlled news sources published that Israel had distributed drug-laced chewing gum and candy to kill children and to make women sexually corrupt. The Jews (Israelis) are being accused of having introduced foot-and-mouth disease in the Middle East. The age-old calumny of Jews using the blood of Christian children in order to bake their Passover matzos is alive and well in Arab publications. The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, an egregious falsification originating in Czarist Russia, is a steady best-seller in all Arab countries. Among other malevolent fabrications, it accuses "international Jewry" of "limitless ambition, inexhaustible greed, and hatred beyond imagination." In the controlled press of the Arab countries, Holocaust denial and accusation of the Zionists having been in cahoots with the German Nazis are regular features. Egypt's government-sponsored Al Akhbar newspaper has expressed fervent thanks to Adolf Hitler for having taken advance revenge on the "vilest criminals on the face of the earth." Still, it berates him for not having been thorough enough in his task of extermination. The Arabs do not consider Israel a normal country, but a creation of the devil, an excrescence, a malignant force of aggressors, murderers, infidels and barbarians. They should be destroyed, for the glory of God, no matter what sacrifices that might entail.
Mortal hatred against Israel and against the Jews is taught to Arab children from the very first grade. Children are encouraged to sacrifice themselves as martyrs and suicide missiles, with promises that Paradise with unimaginable pleasures awaits those who sacrifice themselves in the holy cause of killing Jews.
This bottomless hatred, a hatred that pervades the Arab world in all strata of society and is incessantly fomented by Arab governments, including those supposed to be "at peace" with Israel, cannot be assuaged by negotiation or by making any further "sacrifices for peace". Nothing will suffice, except the destruction, the complete disappearance of Israel. The Arab states, having been unable in over fifty years and in many wars to defeat and exterminate the hated Jews, are now feverishly arming themselves with "conventional weapons" (easily purchased from the West, including, sad to say, from the United States), and are ardently pursuing the development of weapons of mass annihilation. Just as the suicide bombers do not vacillate to sacrifice themselves, one can safely expect that, once in possession of such weapons, the Arabs will not hesitate to sacrifice millions of their own people in order to destroy Israel. Israel's only course in the face of this almost certain prospect is to assume its previous stance of resolute deterrence and, as it once did in the destruction of the Iraqi atomic reactor at Osirak in 1981, not to be inhibited by "international opinion" to preempt resolutely if it appears necessary to assure survival of the country.

This is great,

[TheDick]

I was reading it an

Re:This is great,

[TheDick]

Bah, I hit this months bandwidth cap on my cable, had to go back to dialup, and in the middle of a First Post too, SUCK!

Vanilla ICE FP

[Anonymous Coward]

All you ladies should rub 'em!

I am so phat

Eminem is a punk ass sucka.

VI

4eva!!!!

Re:Vanilla ICE FP

[Mao Zedong]

nigger tru, tru

WTF

[Anonymous Coward]

I don't get what that was all about.

Can't we make some distinction between nerds and comic book weirdos?

Re:WTF

[Juhan]

Better yet, how's this news on /.? I mean someone making webpage w/ scanned cartoons that also has periodic table -- hm?

what about

[zephc]

Adamantium? =]

Re:what about

[Anonymous Coward]

"Of course adamantiam is missing"
What about reading the original description of the story?

Re:what about

[Emugamer]

"Of course adamantiam is missing"
What about reading the original description of the story?

To .... hard..... must.... get.... krypt^H^H^H^Harma

Re:what about

[Sancho]

According to the X-Men universe, Adamantium is not an element. Rather it's an alloy. Which is, of course, absurd, since a real alloy will not be stronger than the elements it's composed of. But hey, it's a comic book :)

Re:what about

[Sancho]

That's gotta be a first...someone who reads the story but no the description!

Re:what about

[Anonymous Coward]

a real alloy will not be stronger than the elements it's composed of.

Um, yes it can be. That's why we make alloys.

Steel is an alloy of Iron and Carbon. Steel is stronger than Iron.

14 karot gold is an alloy of gold and other stuff (mostly silver and copper). 14 karot gold is stronger than pure gold.

I'm sure there are other examples ...

Re:what about

[zephc]

carbon, in certain configurations, is FAR stronger than steel (diamond, buckminsterfullerine, etc).

(and i appologize for my previous post, my eyes usually glaze over the text as i click the links in the stories (after several years of reading /., I tend to auto-ignore what the editors here say *grin*))

Re:what about

[Daemonik]

The entire reason that alloys exist is because they create materials stronger than their constituent elements, otherwise it would be pointless to use them.

Re:what about

[aiabx]

In fact, alloys are frequntly stronger than the component metals. A mix of different types of metal atoms is a lumpier structure, and the atoms can't slide past each other as easily as they can in a pure metal. Thus, bronze is stronger than copper or tin, steel is stronger than iron or coal, and so on.
-aiabx

Re:what about

[Anonymous Coward]

Wow, you're dumb.

Re:what about

[Anonymous Coward]

Vibranium is not listed too in this element list. And are you talking about First or Second Adamantium alloy ?

make your mother sigh

[Anonymous Coward]

She's old enough to know better.

Re:make your mother sigh

[Anonymous Coward]

This makes me want to have sex with my hand!

Damn

[jordanb]

Of course adamantiam is missing, and chemical X doesn't belong in a table of the elements of the comic book universe...

You, Sir, are a geek.

Re:Damn

[Anonymous Coward]

Where's dilithium?

Re:Damn

[tenman]

even busted witht the clever dept. title... way to go chris... who the hell is chrisd?

from the he's-looking-au-kid dept.

Re:Damn

[Anonymous Coward]

The correct term is nerd.

NEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSS S! !!!!!!!!!!!

Filthy bastards, they probably take baths.

Re:Damn

[skotte]

you know, as long as everyone is chiming in with things which should be on the list ..

what about medichlorians? probably spelled way wrong .. but you know .. the things in star wars.

actually, nah, those are probably akin to neutrinos.

Re:Damn

[pomakis]

what about medichlorians? probably spelled way wrong .. but you know .. the things in star wars.

actually, nah, those are probably akin to neutrinos.

No, they're described as "tiny life forms", and are presumably intelligent. Hardly elemental!

Re:Damn

[Dr.Dubious DDQ]

what about medichlorians? probably spelled way wrong .. but you know .. the things in star wars.

actually, nah, those are probably akin to neutrinos.

No, they're described as "tiny life forms", and are presumably intelligent. Hardly elemental!

I figured it was just that spelling and biology aren't taught in Jedi School, so they never learned how to spell and pronounce "Mitochondria"...

Saudi Arabia: Friend or foe?

[Anonymous Coward]

In the 1920's, American exploration firms discovered the world's largest oil fields under the eastern Saudi desert. As a result, the Saudis and their small neighbors became the richest nations in the world, far surpassing in per-capita product and income long established industrial nations. Not content with this enormous wealth, the Saudis spearheaded the creation of OPEC. It is a price-fixing cartel, which would be totally illegal under U.S. anti-trust laws. This cartel has managed to increase the price of oil by more than tenfold. In doing so, the members of OPEC -- primarily Saudi Arabia -- were able to amass almost unimaginable riches. At the same time, they caused grave economic dislocation to the western industrial nations and brought ruin and famine to many of the so-called third world countries.
What do the Saudis do with all this wealth? Much of it goes to the maintenance of the most extravagant lifestyle of the Saudi "royal" house and hundreds of "princes" and their hangers-on. Some of it goes for ostentatious public projects. But much of it goes to bankrolling terrorists and troublemakers in the Middle East and in the rest of the world. For example, Saudi Arabia is the main support of the terrorist PLO, which would financially collapse were it not for Saudi Arabian aid. Saudi Arabia finances Syria to the tune of $750 million per year. Syria is a close ally of the Soviet Union, a state based on terror, and a sworn enemy of the U.S.
The Saudis have participated in every one of the Arab wars against Israel, since Israel's founding in 1948. They are totally committed to continued warfare until what they hope will be the destruction of Israel and "recovery" of Jerusalem. Saudi Arabia has systematically thwarted any peace initiatives to resolve the Arab-Israel conflict, continues to maintain a state of war with Israel, refused to recognize Israel's right to exist, and perpetuates, through the Arab League boycott, an international economic warfare intended to strangle Israel.
The Saudis clamor constantly for more and more sophisticated weapons from the U.S. They claim to need these weapons in order to protect their kingdom, their oil installations, and the Gulf shipping lanes from the Iranians. They have purchased $2.9 billion of war materials from the U.S. and vast additional quantities from Western Europe. But now that this arsenal is available and could be engaged, do they use it? Of course not! They call on the U.S. for help.

Because of their unwillingness to assist in their own defense during the Gulf war, we had to put over thirty war ships and much other material in the area and thousands of U.S. sailors, whose lives were at risk and quite a few of whom were lost. Why, then, if they refuse to defend their own country, do the Saudis need all this expensive and deadly hardware? To quote the Saudi defense minister: "It is focused on Israel." And he was echoing King Khaled, who said, "When we build our military power, we have no designs on anybody except those who took away our land and holy places in Jerusalem, and we know who they are!" The way things seem to be planned by the Saudis, it may not be too long before their F-15's will join to fight Israel's F-15's in another devastating Middle East conflagration.
Are the Saudis grateful to the U.S. for being so generous with protection? Despite the fact that the U.S. Navy was and still is in the Gulf for their protection, the Saudis have steadfastly refused to put any of their installations and bases at the disposal of the U.S. The cost to the U.S. taxpayer is a minimum of $200 million so far. Will the Saudis pick up any of that tab? Of course not! When the Iraqi fighter plane attacked the "Stark" and killed 36 American sailors, the U.S. urged the Saudis to pursue the Iraqi plane and to bring it down if necessary. What did the Saudis do? They flatly refused!
Saudi Arabia is not "moderate." It bankrolls Syria -- the Soviet Union's ally and client state -- and is the paymaster of the terrorist PLO. Its arsenal is not destined to the defense of its territory against Iran, but for the next "jihad" -- what they hope will be the final war of extermination against Israel. They are no friends of America or of the West. They do not cooperate with us in the defense of our strategic interests-- they single-mindedly pursue their own agenda. As to the "oil weapon," they wield it ruthlessly to amass the riches of the world and to disrupt the economies of the West.

You Can't Possibly Forget...

[dupper]

...SPOON!!!ium I mean, come on, its just common sense.

Whoa! Cool.

[funkhauser]

I walk by that guys office twice a week.

Slashdot hits home. It's scary.

Re:Whoa! Cool.

[Mao Zedong]

How does it feel to live next to a superstar?

Re:Whoa! Cool.

[Wanker]

If he's his own sysadmin, you should walk over there now to hear him cursing while his server gets slashdotted into oblivion.

Post MP3's if you get 'em. :-)

Re:Whoa! Cool.

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes, please stop slashdotting our town.

Thanks.

Re:Whoa! Cool.

[dmarx]

If he's his own sysadmin, you should walk over there now to hear him cursing while his server gets slashdotted into oblivion.

Already happened. (11:14am) :-)

And once again

[G0SP0DAR]

And once again, Slashdot scours the universe to find someone with way too much time on his hands. What could be behind such uncanny ability?

Re:And once again

[jcsehak]

Taco must have his own cerebro.

Re:And once again

[nackrm]

I guess this could be expected from UKY.

Re:And once again

[jdbo]

> Taco must have his own cerebro.

if that's the case, I hope that Pudge fixes it's dang spell-checker.

Re:And once again

[blankmange]

I bow to his geekness -- we are not worthy!!!!

Backdoor Beauty?

[Mao Zedong]

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Thulium?

[PopeAlien]

What about thulium

All it says there is GLUG! sorry no comics yet for this element..

I wonder if I should rush out and make a thulium comic and take my place in history. Hm.

Probably not.

Re:Thulium?

[Anonymous Coward]

Your drawings rock! Do it!

Especially the one about the Battle-Bots/Banker's Convention :-)

State of education at Univ of KY

[dolphin558]

LOL Instead of doing research on important groundbreaking issues in Chemistry, the Wildcats of KYU are goofin off with comic books while "experimenting" with the chemicals around the lab. LOL

Re:State of education at Univ of KY

[Mao Zedong]

LOL!

Re:State of education at Univ of KY

[Anonymous Coward]

KYU! damn... i actually screwed 4 of they're cheerleaders... two of them i got at the same time.

they really ARE wildcats... as for chemistry... well... you know. ;-)

Re:State of education at Univ of KY

[Paradise Pete]

KYU! damn... i actually screwed 4 of they're cheerleaders...

A choice of two (2) smart-ass replies:

1) Dazzled them with your spelling, did ya?
2) What, you mean they weren't able to buy real estate with no money down?

Re:State of education at Univ of KY

[sandidge]

Um... that's UK not KYU.

Re:State of education at Univ of KY

[Anonymous Coward]

If you can screw two women at the same time, then you must have some very interesting genitalia. Please stay away from my wife.

Already down....

[Linuxthess]

But thanks to Google you can at least see a snapshot here

---------------

Re:Already down....

[Anonymous Coward]

I can't believe a university webserver can't take being slashdotted. Is University of Kentucky a real place or are they like a correspondence school?

News for Nerds

[kfckernal]

Stuff that DOESN'T matter

Adamantium

[xbrownx]

How could it be a real, credible, table of comic book elements without the Adamantium? :)

Re:adamantium

[Alexius]

Does anyone else think of "Adam Ant" everytime they see this? I picture a nearly indestructable singer telling the bad guys what a goodie two shoes he is.

Re:adamantium

[jlowery]

He meant, of course, Atomantium. Adamantium would belong in the periodic table of glam rock singers.

Re:Adamantium

[Anonymous Coward]

HO HO HO!! fFuck me in the heart, this is fFunny!! sweet jesus!! goddamn! you are one comedic genius!!! holy shit!

Re:adamantium

[GTRacer]

O-o-o-OH-h! And here I was thinking of Atom Ant all this time...

GTRacer
- Up and Atom!

Thiotimoline....

[Linuxthess]

I was kind of looking foward to that one....
...must have seen the /. coming, so probabilities dictated its annihilation.

----------

Nice ideea :)

[The999]

HEll yeah! Very good Ideea with this Comic. I'll report it to the internetional meeting of comic book writers ;)

Re:Nice ideea :)

[Anonymous Coward]

That is, the International Union of Pure and Applied Comic Writers (IUPACW).

BOOM!

[x136]

Looks like that server needs an injection of dontcrashium... :P

Re:BOOM!

[Razor Sex]

More like a hit of crack. Too damn slow.

Re:BOOM!

[56ker]

Here's a link to the Google cached page.
The link

Where's mithril?

[NoMoreNicksLeft]

Subject says it all.

Re:Where's mithril?

[CAIMLAS]

'ey Red :)

I'd not consider mitrhil a 'comic' element. IIRC, Tolkien made it for his LotR universe, which is really not a comic-oriented world. :)

Re:Where's mithril?

[Mr Teddy Bear]

You know what... statements like that make me mad... i mean come on.. i have enough problems telling reality and fantasy apart... now you're telling me I have to determine DIFFERENT KINDS of fantasy? Son-of-a... ACK! Screw this.. i am keepin it real from here on out. :-P

Oh yeah.. thats a joke... in case you have no sense of humor (or think I don't).

Re:Where's mithril?

[armb]

> I'd not consider mitrhil a 'comic' element. IIRC, Tolkien made it for his LotR universe

I'm pretty sure D&D later borrowed it from Tolkien, and there are/were D&D based comics.

But it's fictional, and it may be an alloy. This is about real elements (or at least characters named after and supposedly based on real elements, in the case of e.g. the Metal Men).

45.

[GafTheHorseInTears]

--I offer a few examples of the sort of thing these petty people have got into their heads--what they have put into the mouth of the Master: the unalloyed creed of "beautiful souls."--

"And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear you, when ye depart thence, shake off the dust under your feet for a testimony against them. Verily I say unto you, it shall be more tolerable for Sodom and Gomorrha in the day of judgment, than for that city" (Mark vi, 11)--How evangelical!

"And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea" (Mark ix, 42) .--How evangelical! --

"And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire; Where the worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched." (Mark ix, 47) --It is not exactly the eye that is meant.

"Verily I say unto you, That there be some of them that stand here, which shall not taste death, till they have seen the kingdom of God come with power." (Mark ix, 1.)--Well lied, lion! . . . .

"Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For . . ." (Note of a psychologist. Christian morality is refuted by its fors: its reasons are against it,--this makes it Christian.) Mark viii, 34.--

"Judge not, that ye be not judged. With what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again." (Matthew vii, l.) --What a notion of justice, of a "just" judge! . . .

"For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?" (Matthew V, 46.) --Principle of "Christian love": it insists upon being well paid in the end. . . .

"But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Matthew vi, 15.)--Very compromising for the said "father."

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." (Matthew vi, 33.)--All these things: namely, food, clothing, all the necessities of life. An error, to put it mildly. . . . A bit before this God appears as a tailor, at least in certain cases.

"Rejoice ye in that day, and leap for joy: for, behold, your reward is great in heaven: for in the like manner did their fathers unto the prophets." (Luke vi, 23.)--Impudent rabble! It compares itself to the prophets. . .

"Know yea not that yea are the temple of God, and that the spirit of God dwelt in you? If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple yea are." (Paul, 1 Corinthians iii, 16.) --For that sort of thing one cannot have enough contempt. . . .

"Do yea not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are yea unworthy to judge the smallest matters?" (Paul, 1 Corinthians vi, 2.)--Unfortunately, not merely the speech of a lunatic. . .

This frightful impostor then proceeds: "Know yea not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life?". . .

"Hat not God made foolish the wisdom of this world? For after that in the wisdom of God the world by wisdom knew not God, it pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to save them that believe. . . . Not many wise men after the flesh, not men mighty, not many noble are called: But God hat chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hat chosen the weak things of the world confound the things which are mighty; And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hat God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: That no flesh should glory in his presence." (Paul, 1 Corinthians i, 20ff.) --In order to understand this passage, a first rate example of the psychology underlying every Chandala- morality, one should read the first part of my "Genealogy of Morals": there, for the first time, the antagonism between a noble morality and a morality born of ressentiment and impotent vengefulness is exhibited. Paul was the greatest of all apostles of revenge. . . .

Re:45.

[Mao Zedong]

I have profusely enjoyed your sermons over the past few weeks, keep it up.

Now, that there's some high-falutin' science!

[Hercynium]

<parody voice="redneck">Yep! That there is th' com-pleet tabul o' ell-e-munts! Figger'd out by th' fahnest minds in all Ken-tuckee!</parody>

Holy spelling mistakes, batman!

[$uperjay]

Did you type that with your nose there, Mr. chrisd?

Re:Holy spelling mistakes, batman!

[Anonymous Coward]

"Mr."?

Sir, you grant "him" too much.

thank-god for archive.org

[AnimeFreak]

http://web.archive.org/web/20020124031915/http://w ww.uky.edu/Projects/Chemcomics/

Enjoy the mirror!

Re:thank-god for archive.org

[theNeophile]

Umm, doesn't seem to work. But Google's does.

Re:thank-god for archive.org

[Wanker]

There is an embedded space in the above causing problems. Try this link to the archive of Chemcomics instead.

Re:thank-god for archive.org

[Captain Large Face]

Some good old fashioned Karma whoring...

Archive.org

When there is nothing else to say...

[lems1]

I guess that when there is nothing else to post, stuff like this gets posted. Why don't you go and review all the stuff that I submitted and got rejected and post those instead :-)

Hungry Stoner's Food & Thought

[Anonymous Coward]

I just ate two chicken wings which were basted in Kikkoman's "Gourmet" Soy Sauce. It was delectible! I scoured the poor fowl's appendages for every last bit of meat and then followed to dip it yet again into a pool of the sauce. I avoided the bone marrow though; although it's healthy, there's something about it that just doesn't seem right - kind of like fantasizing about other men...

I've said too much now.

Re:Hungry Stoner's Food & Thought

[Mao Zedong]

I have no problem savoring your creamy bone marrow, give me a ring sometime.

Re:Hungry Stoner's Food & Thought

[Anonymous Coward]

You are too kind, sir.

Re:Hungry Stoner's Food & Thought

[YourMissionForToday]

I like this. You should write more often. Give those who post at -1 a BONUS!

Of course *adamantium* isn't listed.

[Raptor CK]

Not that any spell checker would've caught that so easily, so y'all can slide this time.

More to the point, adamantium is an alloy. Scientifically speaking, that makes little sense, but who are we to argue with comic book science?

does this work?!

[Anonymous Coward]

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Re:does this work?!

[Anonymous Coward]

Does it work? Well, maybe if I had a bedroom that was 50 feet wide it would.

Next on Fox...

[Anonymous Coward]

...when karma whores go bad

adamantium

[gam]

Sorry to geek everyone out, but I believe that 'adamantium' -- was actually a super-strong alloy, not an element. Sort of like steel isn't an element.

"But Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills! You're from two different worlds!" -- Oh! I've wasted my life.

There is the extremely valuable and powerful

[Mode Frozen]

orihalcum(sp?) or was it oricalcum? the silly gold material that is highly sought after.

ah well. too much Slayers on the mind. esp. that silly Naga. and the other one. thingy. small boobies. dragon slave left and right every episode?

Re:There is the extremely valuable and powerful

[josh crawley]

It's called orichalcum. It supposedly was from the sunken Alantean continent. I believe it's a nasty mix of copper, gold, silver, and mercury. Let's give a little hint: these dont mix at all.

Why not Chemical X?

[The Salamander]

I have a Powerpuff Girls comic book at work!

What? No Kryptonite?!

[Ryu2]

Seems like it's a periodic table of REAL elements with references to where they are used in comics... not imaginary elements that exist in comics only.

What about energy X?

[Anonymous Coward]

Freedom Force ROCKS!

Not bad. but...

[BrokenHalo]

here is a periodic table that IMHO is way cooler :-)

Where Is Explodium?

[EXTomar]

Explodium: The element that most bad guy armies make their crafts and mecha out of. It is cheap so they can make a million of them for every one good guy unit. The problem is that they have this property to explode in a colorful and violent way(which films incrediably well). The Zion(Gundam) and the Empire(Star Wars) invest heavly in this element and base entire fleets off the stuff.

Re:Where Is Explodium?

[jackal!]

It seems that the control panels on Star Trek The Next Generation are made of this element as well.

Re:Where Is Explodium?

[AndroidCat]

For some reason all Evil Overlord and super-villan strongholds seem to made of this stuff. Read the FAQ evil-doers!

Slashdotium

[quantaman]

In its native form this element is deposited on computers all over the internet, is largely harmless and considered fairly trivial. However the presence a web site known as "slashdot" causes this element to ionize and it is than attracted to this site. This ion permeates quickly through broad band and rapidly builds up at this site creating a large positive charge. Often small web sites linked to this "slashdot" will serve as an outlet to these ions and they will accumulate on the smaler site until it reaches critical mass. At this point the web site collapses under the weight and the rate at which the ion transfers slows down noticeably, eventually the process is complete the ions will slowly migrate back to "slashdot". Invariably this process will repeat its destructive cycle indefinitely.

Re:Slashdotium

[circletimessquare]

The evil geniuses of the comic world have struck again. They have heard rumors that a powerful website known as Slashdot exists somewhere in a parallel universe. This Slashdot is able to destroy any lesser website it links too. Summoning their forces and arcane arts, the villains have utilized this strange Slashdot phenomenon to destroy the periodic table itself. Will our heroes prevail against the villains before the very stuff of matter disappears into a 404 error? Stay tuned for Issue #437.

Tonight, I celebrate my love for you!!

[Mao Zedong]

Maic,

Your choice of turns is anyone's guess so I'd rather answer your messages one
by one. Which should be any minute now, right ?

Take for example the following messages you just sent me:

" My best friend Truby and I were talking about men who have sex with each
other. We agreed it was disgusting, but admitted we might "experiment" with gay
oral sex. And so we did. Neither of us came, and we didn't talk about it for
two days. Then he brings it up, saying he enjoyed it and wanted to try again.
And so we did- this time to ejaculation.. Forget about anal sex, all I can
bring myself to do with him is give and receive oral sex. Now all my friend
Truby has to do is ask, and I blow him. Am I a closet homosexual ? Am I in
denial ? "
You're not in the closet anymore, Maic. As for being in denial, that's up to
you.

Then you write in another message:
"There's a rampant rumor in between our friends that semen has 10 calories per
dose. Is this true ? If so, what are the "nutrition facts" that me and my
friend Truby need to know before we swallow anything ?"
You should worry about more important things than the calories in a "dose" of
semen. Anyway, here are the "Nutritional Facts" on the average load (suggested
serving size: 5 tablespoons): one serving of semen has 100 calories (not 10!)
and they are all fat calories. So better throw up afterwards or just drink a
glass of water. Or a coffee. Good luck, both of you !

Note: "Straight", "gay" or "bi" are sexual identities and in this time and age
each of us gets to select our very own sexual identity. Truby and Maic already
did so, a long time ago. (This is why Maic gives his ol' buddy a blow job every
couple of hours and viceversa [sic!])
But(t):
If women turn you on, if women are what you jerk off about, if it's women you
gawk at on the street, then you're a straight guy (which you're not, my dear
Maic).

DrStrumpf
Help for Herpes Institute

Re:Tonight, I celebrate my love for you!!

[Anonymous Coward]

Hello Chairman Mao, In your honor I have created an ASCII portrait of you. While I intended to post this likeness of you to Slashdot, I was prevented from completing this action because of the lameness filter. Thus I would encourage you to visit the page I have created to view this work of art.

Re:Tonight, I celebrate my love for you!!

[Mao Zedong]

Son, You cannot even begin to imagine how much joy that brought me.

However, the photo posted was quite old, I have updated my website with a much newer taking here for your records!

Remember, if you want to know the taste of a pear, you must change the pear by eating it yourself. If you want to know the theory and methods of revolution, you must take part in revolution. All genuine knowledge originates in direct experience

Things To Do TOday

[Anonymous Coward]

1. Touch my 'nads

2. Feel guilty

from the he's-looking-au-kid dept.

[Alexius]

I realized I, and my friends, were geeks when I heard chemistry jokes outside of school. Not just randomly, but at a party i'd held.

Incidently, they were:

A,U, Gimmie back my gold!
C-U later, copper.

(I know, and they're funnier when you've had a few beers.)

Re:from the he's-looking-au-kid dept.

[Anonymous Coward]

16 (22-53) 9 92

Re:from the he's-looking-au-kid dept.

[Anonymous Coward]

Creepy, that was just one the Fact Of Life on cable, Natile just had to remember the table for the big final in the morning and Tootie being the smart one is like ok remember gold as AU give me back my gold...

Re:from the he's-looking-au-kid dept.

[Alexius]

Ah. So that's where my friend got it. I've never had the slightest temptation to watch that show, so I'd have never know. Thanks.

The obvious concern: 'Si'

[Nathdot]

The comic listing for silicon should be:

* Every comic book drawn by a man that has a female character(s)

If you've ever read Jim Balent's 'Catwoman'... I mean come on... How the fuck am I meant to believe she shimmies up buildings with the slightest of ease. I have trouble believing she walks upright without a back brace.

Re:The obvious concern: 'Si'

[radja]

maybe she has a strange mutation that has turned her nipples into small suction cups...

//rdj

Re:The obvious concern: 'Si'

[Anonymous Coward]

don't laugh. inverted nipples are a serious affliction.

Re:The obvious concern: 'Si'

[igorxa]

except that breast implants are made of SILICONE, not SILICON. see here and here and esp. here.

silicone is not an element, it's a polymer.

Re:The obvious concern: 'Si'

[AndroidCat]

Unless it's a cyberpunk comic. Some of those comics, you could hide a whole mainframe in there! (And brings up lots of new overclocking issues.)

Gee, imagine a Beowul.. OW!

as many others have already pointed out...

[jdbo]

...this table is an index of comic-book references to real elements, not the other way around (thus adamantidium and chemical X are out, anyway), so instead I'll nitpick at an even geekier level...

- The PowerPuff girls are well-represented in comics - I own several issues, one of the latest of which includes a gallery of PPG images rendered by comic "names", such as John Byrne and Mike Mignola. So these books are certainly accepted as part of the comics "mainstream" (if such a thing exists), vs. an purely-for-marketing-purposes book assembled by anonymous hacks.

- lack of modern comics? the point wasn't to find every mention of a given element in every comic ever published - that would be a ridiculous task. this is an overview... with the most popular "elements" getting a wider cross-section of comics. Furthermore, older comics tended to try to include more science factoids in their pseudo-science (as the space-race made science genuinely relevant to pop culture) and referenced real elements more often.

OK, I'll shut up now.

It's elements found in comic books

[Anonymous Coward]

Its elements of the periodic table found in comic books, not comic book elements. Sheesh, not even close, must be late at night for the editorial staff.

WhatMeWorry!

Re:What? No Kryptonite?!

[dangermouse]

Okay, but they're still missing Kryptonite.

O my god

[sander123]

> Ender, Duke_of_URL brought this Periodic Table of
> Elements to our attention.

O my god, they are going to be *so* slashdotted, they'll never now what hit them.

hehehe

Slashdot the very best thing next to the e-bomb

It's a pity it isn't Harvard,

[odaiwai]

Because then I could sing:

These are the only ones of which the news has come to Harvard,
There may be many others but they haven't been discarvard.
*fiddly piano bit*

dave

Re:It's a pity it isn't Harvard,

[sconeu]

With apologies to Tom Lehrer, of course!

Did anyone find...

[sconeu]

Illudium Phosdex, the Shaving Cream atom?

Re:Did anyone find...

[rde]

I believe that's alludium, but I can't be sure. It's also used in the Alludium q-36 explosive space modulator.

Re:Did anyone find...

[Amazing Quantum Man]

Actually, I think it's "Eludium". Marvin clearly says "Eludium" when referring to the space modulat-or.

Why I like this site

[Saint Fnordius]

5. It's actually a good road map as to where we got our misconceptions about certain elements.

4. It seems to be well laid out, from an information viewpoint.

3. It gets into the geeky "how far off base were the book's authors?" question. Cool for plotting science blunders, as well as when the writer knew what he was doing.

2. It gives background info about the comic where the element made its "guest appearance", including the fate of the book series, and the character.

1. It covers the REAL periodic table. 'Nuf said.

Re:Why I like this site

[Anonymous Coward]

Wow, you tried your best to whore some karma and got a 1 for your efforts. That's pathetic by the standards of a thread that is pathetic by the standards of a truly pathetic site.

What a looser.

Another forgotten element

[DavidBrown]

Upsidasium.

"Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit outta this hat."

"That trick never works."

"Presto..."

i don't fucking believe this

[posmon]

aren't you open source faggotts a little old to be still in your moms' basements reading comics?

U r VARY gay!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

Plz fix ths thx :)))

Modern comics

[Stackster]

"Modern comics are sorely underrepresented, unfortunately."

I guess elements stopped being cool&hip some time ago, it just doesn't appeal to the kids (and other people who read comic strips) of today...

Re:What? No Kryptonite?!

[clarkcox3]

Umm, no, kryptonite is not a real element (you're thinking of krypton)

Nah, Thiotimoline is a complex molecule

[Anonymous Coward]

Sorry.
Thanks for playing :-)

There *is* no spoon....ium

[Anonymous Coward]

Sorry.
Thanks for playing.

ILLUDIUM

[billstewart]

There seem to be a variety of ways of spelling the Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator, but it oughta be around here somewhere.

...earth-shattering kaboom...

Re:ILLUDIUM

[Hoi Polloi]

Sorry but the Earth was blocking my view of Venus.

Metal Men: Where are they now?

[nucal]

This report on how the Metal Men are spending their twilight years:

Only a few of The Metal Men survive. Platimun is a robo-hooker, Iron is a rusting construction worker, and Gold is in hiding because, well, he's gold and people want part of him! Dr. Will Magnus died ages ago, so none of them can be repaired if something goes wrong. Tin and Mercury have already died, and Lead is a living reactor shield in a closed-down nuclear power plant.

Why the Sept. 11th Attacks happened

[forkspoon]

http://slashdot.org/~forkspoon/journal/6764

Never trust...

[Anonymous Coward]

I've never completely trusted the intellect of anyone over the age of, say, 12 years old that reads comic books.

airbags

[punkyfish]

yep you get a lot of that. I'm convinced it must be some kind of aircushioning technology only available for superheroines.

Re:airbags

[Anonymous Coward]

and just where can the rest of us score that 'super heroin'???

The Periodic Table of Rejected Elements

[nickovs]

I always liked this table which was published in The Atlantic back in 1999.

Re:The Periodic Table of Rejected Elements

[mrcparker]

sigset

man sigset on some systems

unobtanium?

[forty-2]

the rarest of all substances, unobtanium!

Re:unobtanium?

[Anonymous Coward]

The nose and earpieces of Oakley Juliet sunglasses are coated in Unobtanium!!! Not to mention that they were used to keep in Cyclops eye-beams in the movie X-Men. They use a lot of funky stuff in their lenses too (ie. Plutonite and Iridium).

or the even rarer...

[Anonymous Coward]

Itanium?

Missing Elements?

[Momomoto]

I'm not sure if you guys noticed, but the page contains only known elements, not the stuff from fantasy land. Hence, the blatant exclusion of adamantium and kryptonite.

RTFP!

this person..

[HobbitGod42]

has fallen for /.-itis... meaning not reading the article before posting it. its a list of elements that are real and mentioned in comics... not comic elements. so adamantium doesn't belong since it don't exsist.

Yet another periodic table

[dgroskind]

Here is The Periodic Table of Rejected Elements including delirium, geranium, belgium and the criminal elements.

Re:Yet another periodic table

[HobbitGod42]

this post is redundant.

Forget Explodium; where's Unununium?

[jlowery]

Particle man, particle man...

Yeah ok, but...

[Anonymous Coward]

Go to the webelements page, where you'll learn that hydrogen caused the Hindenburg

http://www.webelements.com/webelements/elements/ te xt/H/key.html

and how not to make an mpeg...

http://www.webelements.com/webelements/elements/ me dia/moov/volcano.mpg

Chemistry was cool in the 60s, these dudes need to step into the 21st century somehow.

And he's missing one

[Anonymous Coward]

goatsecxium.

A red malleable element, the only one that is normally at body temperature and is covered in a fine layer of mucus.

Can not be duplicated in the lab, must be obtained in nature.

If having a goatsecxium of 4 inches in diameter is natural, that is.

Adamantium...

[DrewMadMax]

If I remember correctly, adamantium isn't really an element, but a polymer. But, I could be wrong...

Re:Adamantium...

[Moita Carrasco]

I was never sure if it was a mined metal or a man made alloy.

I also never understood how they molded adamantium... since it's supposed to be indestructible... how do you melt, mold or otherwise deform it into any give shape?

This is important stuff.

MoitaCarrasco

Re:Adamantium...

[Anonymous Coward]

We know at the very least it is affected by electromagnetic force (i.e. Magneto's power.) So I'm thinking powerful electromagnets or things of a force nature and not just physical...

Re:Adamantium...

[Rakarra]

I was never sure if it was a mined metal or a man made alloy.

Some sort of iron-vibranium alloy. There are apparently three different forms of adamantium.. the one used in Captain America's shield, and "True Adamantium" which is apparently not quite as strong as the shield (Ultra, wolverine). Secondary Adamantium is pretty strong, but nowhere near as strong a Captain America's shield or True Adamantium.

I pulled out my 1985 "Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe" from the closet to get all of this. Really geeky, I know.

Re:Adamantium...

[Moita Carrasco]

Wow,

That's cool... I don't have a Marvel Universe Handbook, but I wish I did.

If you could... would you submit yourself to surgery in order to have adamantium claws implanted?

Is there a way to start a poll here? :)

you know ..

[skotte]

it might be kinda cool if he were to post all these comics in a giant wall sized table of elements.

i see there are some holes .. so maybe he could employ his students or wotnot to provide something to fFit.

heck, he may even assemble such a thing, and sell it off. could probably fFetch a pretty geek-penny.

Slashdottium

[mikosullivan]

An incredibly heavy element that suddenly forms around web servers and weighs them down. Fortunately, it tends to evaporate after 48 hours.

Re:What? No Kryptonite?!

[blankmange]

And thank you for playing --- Krypton was the planet.... kryptonite the element from the planet... man, I hate it when geeks get it wrong...

A SciFi Periodic Table

[caesar-auf-nihil]

While I enjoyed this Periodic table, I found this one to be much better:

http://www.scifi.com/scifiction/periodictable.ht ml

If you don't cringe after reading Arsenic, there is something really wrong with you.

Re:A SciFi Periodic Table

[ellem]

Sweet Jesus and Mary what the Hell was that...

I have to wash my eyes with bleach!

(and why no Lanthanum?)

Re:A SciFi Periodic Table

[connorbd]

Yeah, that Arsenic bit reminds me of a really weird fetish story I wish I hadn't read once.

This is more interesting than the subject of the posting, though. I liked Si and Ca too...

/brian

Re:A SciFi Periodic Table

[MeepMeep]

Re: Arsenic...

[Cringe]

Re:A SciFi Periodic Table

[dr_eaerth]

http://www.scifi.com/scifiction/periodictable.html

Neat. I've been a fan of Michael Swanwick (the author) since Vacuum Flowers.

Arsenic IS good.

The other way around?

[mikosullivan]

this table is an index of comic-book references to real elements, not the other way around

You want an index of real element references to comic books? That might be hard to come by.

Re:What? No Kryptonite?!

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually Kryptonite is a greenish rock. So its probably a composite of various elements (Some radioactive apparently). If you've ever taken a geology class you'd know that the word Kryptonite was invented to sound like a type of geological substance. Kaolonite for instance is a common type of clay on earth. In fact Kaopectate is made from Kaolonite in case you were wondering what gave it its chalky flavor. :)

Anyhow, in summary, Kryptonite is always depicted as rock, common to Krypton, that has been blasted from the remains of the planet Krypton and somehow made its way to earth.

One fry short of a meal...

[Pig Hogger]

They should have it called the PARODIC table of elements...

Another Periodic Table of Web Comics

[Klox]

When I saw the Slashdot artilce's title, I immediately thought of this one over at Absurd Notions.

I think it's a cool way to list links, and it works well for sorting web comics (based on how often they're updated).

Re:What? No Kryptonite?!

[Rick_T]

> And thank you for playing --- Krypton was the
> planet.... kryptonite the element from the
> planet

I think the previous poster's point was that kryptonite isn't a real element, while krypton is a real element. Krypton is element 36, in fact.

> man, I hate it when geeks get it wrong

Man, I hate it when geeks don't read. Because I have to grade their papers. :)

BTW - there *is* supposedly a page for krypton on the site, but it's hopelessly slashdotted at the moment:

http://www.uky.edu/Projects/Chemcomics/html/kryp to n.html

Science?

[bsdbrett]

What exactly is this doing in the 'Science' category? I believe this is supposed to be 'funny'. I'd rather be kicked in the teeth.

Also...

[Inexile2002]

Elements don't have an inherent strength, carbon as graphite and carbon as diamond as an example. Part of the reason an alloy CAN be stronger than a common form of element is that atomic bond potentials can be optimized. More bonds, and more stable bonds - stronger material.

Re:What? No Kryptonite?!

[MindStalker]

Hmm have to do some research on that, but I believe kryptonite came from their sun or something, not the actual planet (cause while they didn't have powers on their original planet they also wern't wollowing in pain their entire lives from the kryptonite. Like I said I'll have to look it up.

Re:What? No Kryptonite?!

[dangermouse]

I realize my humor is subtle, but I didn't think I'd trick you into thinking I was stupid. ;)

Speaking of BOOM!, Where's Eludium Q-38 ???

[Salgak1]

. . .for those explosive space modulators ???

Marvin the Martian's been looking for it. . .

What about:

[SharpNose]

What of the two alloys that make up most of the products shown in Popular Science: unobtainium and unaffordium? You know, those 11-ounce bicycles that cost $35,000?

Un

[xFoz]

Unobtainium - 0) A difficult to find and if found expensive element.1) Superman #1. 2) Real world, really, really hard to find sailboat, old car, vintage computer parts are made from Unobtainium.

Uhm. Maybe because adamantium isn't an element?

[Chas]

In the Marvel Universe, Adamantium isn't an element. It's an alloy. This is the same reason you don't see "steel" on a periodic table of elements IRL.

The only base component of adamantium that I know of is the comic book element known as Vibranium (basically it has the ability to absorb sound/vibration).

Two notable figures in the MU using Adamantium:

Captain America: His shield.
Woverine: Short, Short, and Nasty's skeleton is coated in this.

Re:What? No Kryptonite?!

[BattyMan]

I think the previous poster's point was that kryptonite isn't a real element, while krypton is a real element. Krypton is element 36, in fact.

That's fine, but we're talking _Comic_Book_ elements here, NOT real stuff, so Kryptonite (the element SuperMan is afraid of) definately belongs on this periodic table.

And I _have_ always wondered how that race of superbeings got along on a planet made of the only thing in the universe that hurts them. But I've never forked out for the books, so WTF do I know....

Mithril probably an alloy

[BattyMan]

of part aluminum, part titanium, and part magic...

And I'd love to get a tissue sample from the Iron Man: how does he remain flexible/mobile?

Re:Mithril probably an alloy

[shogun]

....how does he remain flexible/mobile?

Regular exercise.

Re:Mithril probably an alloy

[CAIMLAS]

Er, You don't mean Ironman, do you? or is there another superhero character I don't know of? I'm thinking of the (red/black/yellow colored) Marvel Comics character. As far as I recall, he was just a human, but had a disease or some sort of condition that required him to be under medical condition. He was a millionaire, so he had the Ironman suit made so that he could have some sort of mobility... so he fought the baddies... or am I on crack?

Irwin Allen

[BattyMan]

Pioneered the construction of space ships, submarines, and IIRC _lots_ of other things from this element (explodium) in the sixties. It's especially useful in electrical equipment of all kinds.

Still haven't _seen_ it.....

[BattyMan]

REAL or comic periodic table?
Which is it?

I've yet to see it, the mirror links
aren't working, either!

Re:Still haven't _seen_ it.....

[Nightpaw]

Dude, this has been on the Internet for like 10 years. If you haven't seen it by now, stop talking about it.

Re:Still haven't _seen_ it.....

[Frosty Inc.]

It is the real periodic table with each element linking to its references in comic books. No imaginary elements are included.

Maybe Misremembered

[virg_mattes]

I may be remembering badly, but I think I recall mention that mithril is simply silver infused with magic. Therefore, it wouldn't get a listing separate from silver. Hey, maybe Silver Surfer was made of mithril, eh?

Virg

Re:Maybe Misremembered

[armb]

> mithril is simply silver infused with magic.

Maybe that's a special case of alloying...

In D&D, or Tolkien?
In Tolkien it was also known as truesilver. But it was found naturally (only in Moria), not made, so if it _was_ silver infused with magic it was Eru or the Valar who did the infusing.
http://www.glyphweb.com/arda/m/mithril. html

Re:Maybe Misremembered

[CAIMLAS]

If I remember my Tolkien thuroughly (and I'll be inclined to think that I do *g*), mithril is incredibly pure silver, made hard by the depths of the earth and the pounding of dwarven skillsmen. (I don't recall if there was magic involved or not... I think I recall Gimli talking about it at some point in the Trilogy - or maybe it was one of the dwarves in The Hobbit.)

Re:What? No Kryptonite?!

[Cro Magnon]

I believe the planet turned into kryptonite when it exploded. Sorta like uranium turning into plutonium. It wasn't made of the stuff when they were living on it.

Periodic Table of SF (Mildly OT)

[Embedded Geek]

Not having to do with comics, but Michael Swanwick has a Periodic Table of Science Fiction. Every Friday, he puts up another story about another element (in atomic number order, of course).

A few of them are comic themed (Kyrpton and Strontium) but there's a lot of other good ones there (Arsenic will give you the creeps).

Re:Periodic Table of SF (Mildly OT)

[Anonymous Coward]

My god...that is creepy. Jeez, don't do that.

Re:What? No Kryptonite?!

[blankmange]

And to think that all of this is due to comic books.....

Google caches no pictures!! Try archive.org...

[Mr. Jaggers]

...right here.

Like DUH... It's the periodic table of COMIC BOOK elements, not the table of neato text adventure elements!! Comics are all about the illustration!

Hmm... on second thought... an ANSI/text periodic table from text adventures like zork, hitchhikers guide and nethack or rogue might be interesting...

Woody Woodpecker?

[malice]

Finally, conclusive proof that Woody Woodpecker is a pole smoker:

http://web.archive.org/web/20010622202022/www.uky. edu/Projects/Chemcomics/assets/images/fc_288_ca.jp g

(look carefully -- I wonder what element *that* is... ;) ).

Re:What? No Kryptonite?!

[MentalPunisher2001]

Kryptonite is not an element.
Remember superman 3 (I think) where they couldn't make kryptonite because they didn't know the final ingredient, and they used tar??
And it made superman all grumpy and shit??
And then he fixed the Eiffel tower??
If they had to mix several ingredients together (including tar), then Kryptonite is not an element. Well, unless alchemy is involved in the process.

Imodium

[nucal]

anti-matter equivalent of Explodium

periodic table of weaknesses tshirts

[Anonymous Coward]

check it out. http://www.number1issue.com

Periodic Table of Funk

[bodyborg]

here's a periodic table of FUNK. how'U like daT?

Hmph.

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm still sad that they didn't actually name element 114 Elerium.

Re: Unaffordium

[Anonymous Coward]

Unaffordium is the old style of cantaffordium (like Wolfram and Tungsten). Unobtanium is virtually impossible to find - which is why you never see it on the Periodic Table. Cantaffordium can be found almost anywhere, but is far too expensive for the average CEO.

Rumor has it that the perfect girlfriend is at least partly composed of unobtainium and the common varieties of girlfriend contain varying degrees of cantaffordium.

More likely Ozzy

[BattyMan]

I'm talking about the guy from the Black Sabbath song, who was turned to steel in a great magnetic field. I've always regarded this as a reference to an Iron Man from the comics, or at least the guy who had a cartoon on TV for a while there (contemporary with Captain America, Spiderman and Speed Racer). The Iron part was his flesh, not any suit, yet he remained motile. IIRC he had a red costume, possibly with white trim, but it's been a long time. If this is inconsistent with what Marvel is publishing now under the name, well, look what's happened to Batman & Robin's costumes over the years. OTOH the guy in the song may be totally unrelated, or possibly distorted by Ozbourne's drug consumption habits of the era.