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California Man Sues Penis-Enlargment Firms
Ronin writes "The DenverPost reports that 'A California man on Thursday sued a slew of international companies, including a Greeley distributor, alleging the penis-enlargement products they market and distribute do not work.' One of the highlights of the article is when the man says "I was wondering for a long time why no one has gotten around to suing these penis-enlargement guys, because it seems like a pretty blatant ... fraud." Probably cause people are too embarrased to say they've tried it."
These things prey on people's desperation and feelings of inadequacy. I mean really, even a tiny dude can score if his head game is good.
Perhaps this will convince those spammers, that not everybody is stupid enough to buy their snake-oil. If they keep losing money from lawsuits, maybe they'll just crawl back in their holes and rot.
Hey! come on! try dividing it by anything!
Perhaps one of the reasons is because many times it's hard to track down the guys actually this shit? If most of the time people can't even catch the spammers themselves, how can a simple guy who wants to make his penis grow find someone who's probably went to great lengths to mask their identity?
As silly as it sounds, if some people who've been duped could get a class action lawsuit going, they could simultaneously go after spammers.
...at first I read that as "Denver Man Sues Penis-Enlargement Farms".
FLR
A California man on Thursday sued a slew of international companies, including a Greeley distributor, alleging the penis-enlargement products they market and distribute do not work.
And the judge replied: "Duh, fucknut. Get out of my courtroom."
----
"Ours was a free culture. It is becoming much less so."-Lawrence Lessig
If your penis doesn't enlarge when you rub cream on it, maybe you're buying the wrong product.
If his lawsuit is successful and these penis-enlargement companies get put out of business, my inbox should become considerably less cluttered.
I am Sartre of the Borg. Existence is futile.
Takes some balls to do that..
;)
Gonna be a hard case to win mind
(That took far too much effort.. Must touch up on my wang referencing skills)
fortune -o
I'm amazed that they got a million people to sign onto the class action suit. Essentially that means 1,000,000 men are willing to stand up and say "hi, I have an abnormally small penis AND I was stupid enough to respond to spam".
1) advertise for sexual products of the kinky kind ...
2) charge $3 for the product
3) never deliver
4) when customer complains, mail a check for $3 with bold letters saying "RETURN FOR HUGE ANAL DILDO"
5) customer never has the courage to cash the check
6)
7) Profit !!
Who is this Karma guy and why is he bad ??
The DenverPost reports that 'A California man on Thursday sued a slew of international companies, including a Greeley distributor, alleging the penis-enlargement products they market and distribute do not work
...
I hope he doesn't plan on paying his lawyers with the money he's waiting for from his business associate and dear friend, Dr. Adelawe Johnson in Lago, Nigeria
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
Guy is in California, lawyer is in New York, suit filed in Denver, companies are in Cyprus and British Columbia. Yeah, it's a little confusing.
I belong to the ______ generation.
Man launches case against spammers after learning that Hot Lesbian Teens Do Not Want His Throbbing Cock Right Now!
We call Colorado "New California."
Didn't you get the memo?
Constitutional rights may be respected, repealed, or modified; but they must never be ignored.
Up next. Woman sues penish enlargment pill seller for making her boyfriend's penis too large. Their response, "Why should my client be responsible if her eyes are bigger than her ..."
Fight Spammers!
It's fairly clear from the article he's a California man suing a Greely, CO firm in Denver, CO, most likely because it's an interstate matter. Greeley is in Weld county... one would assume the suit would take place in the county seat (which I believe is Greeley)... but I don't really know too much in matters of interstate law. Perhaps one of the sides requested a change of venue...
If we allwent out, suing and legally harassing these sam firms at each and every opportunity, we'd get somewhere. I have made it my personal goal to chase the bastards down on each opportuinty I get. Where I live, spam is in effect illegal and I have gotten four (4) spams from Norwegian companies since my main email address went up some six years ago. All of them were reported to the state consumer ombudsman (what you don't have one?) Three of them have resulted in reprimandes and none of them repeated the offence.
Get down from you high horses and start the hand to hand combat!
No, they don't match.
Headline: "Denver Man Sues Penis-Enlargment Firms"
Summary: "A California man on Thursday sued.."
LOL! i guess he got to know that empirically. kinda embarrasing going to court with the evidence, don't you think?? :P
...from what I've read, a woman's vagina only has sensitivity in the first 3.75 inches, so big wang dang doodles don't really make a difference. However, if your cirumference is less than 3.75", you're measuring in at less than the necessary width to apply pressure to the walls of the vagina, and you might as well just stick it in the mud, 'cause its not going to do any good. So, really, wangular width is whats important.
1. Get the spamming community to use linux.
2. SCO sues spammers on copyright charges, drains spammers of funds.
3. Spammers destroy SCO's site permantly.
Steve
Yeah, you might have grabbed the Ben-Gay by mistake.
The field of anthropology facinates me... In one of the texts that I read, I found mention to the Topinama tribe of Brazil. These people lived as they were until the 16th century, and had a very interesting practice. The men would have a local venomous snake bite their penises, and after six months of mind-altering agony, their shlongs had become very long. Now, what I want to know is how this happened (and what type of snake was used)?
3 degrees of separation from Vladimir Putin
> Become 10 times the man you are,
> increase your length by two inches!
Let's see, two divided by ten ... hey, I'm feeling offended!
This was a shiny dollar bill on the ground waiting to be picked up, and it didn't occur to anybody to do it. I mean, the claims being made are pretty blatantly falsifiable. Take someone's money and make their penis longer? How hard is it really to verify to the satisfaction of a court that these claims are fraudulent? This is blatant fraud, relying on the fact that nobody wants to file a suit on behalf of guys with small penises who respond to spam. This guy obviously doesn't care what anyone thinks of him and I can really respect that.
I have a question for all you Slashdot lawyers, who are always good for some creative interpretation of the law. Is it possible for me to form and sue on behalf of a class, and name another class as the defendant? Specifically, I would like to sue on behalf of everyone who has received a penis-enlargement spam and did not respond to it, and I would seek damages against the class of individuals who received this spam and did respond to it. And I would specifically like to include in my definition of this latter class those individuals who seek relief in this case, so that I can place a lien on any judgments squeezed out of Ron "Hedgehog" Jeremy for failing to lengthen the members of this class as promised. Part of that money is required to cover my email deletion charges.
If he can be in both Denver and California at the same time.
R3AL V@GINAL SHRINKING CREAM!
Men! Do your wives complain that your manhood just doesn't measure up? Slip your woman some VSC and in two to three weeks your woman will be wondering what she was complaining about!
SIZE DOES MATTER!
beowulf289028344street12
A winner is you!
Liar!
You are being MICROattacked, from various angles, in a SOFT manner.
Excellent. I'm hoping it'll be easy to get a list of the people involved in the class action. Those are those jerks who have been encouraging spammers by replying to junk email. Get 'em!
Al Qaeda has ninjas!
I've found it works pretty well for me. (Proof available on request.)
What is he going to do, drop his trousers for the judge?
I came home and found an e-mail message offering to sell me something that would do the same thing.
An oldie, but goody:
After a long makeout session, a man and his girlfriend are about to have sex for the first time. Dude starts undressing, shoes and socks come off first, and the girl asks: "What happened to your feet? They're all messed up!"
Guy says, "As a kid, I had tolio".
She shrugs it off, but when the pants come off, well, there's something odd there, too. The guy notices the look on her face, and says, "As a kid, I had the kneesles".
The rest of the clothes come off. When the girl sees his package, she gets exasperated and says, "Let me guess, smallcocks, right?"
Advanced Botanicals Inc's contact page can be found here. They're listed on this page as having different products refused entry to the US for false labelling.
Carousel is a lie!
a guy and his newlywed wife are on their honeymoon, getting ready to have sex for the first time.
before getting any further, the guy warns his wife: "i just want to let you know, i'm like a baby down there."
the wife responds: "it's okay. i love you no matter what."
the man then takes off his clothes and the wife falls off the bed and exclaims: "i thought you said you were like a baby down there!"
he responds: "i am. it's 12" long and weighs 9 pounds."
my guess this is: ...stuff that matters?
-- Free software on every PC on every desk
Maybe Slashdot editors are in need of some headline enlargment or something.
Right after his honey moon, Bill Gates' wife tells him: "Now I understand why is it called Microsoft".
"There is no teacher but the enemy."-Mazer Rackham
Seems to be a marketing ploy. I notice he helpfully links to the site selling the pills he used
Judging by past class action suits, about $10.00 per member of the class. And a few million each for the lawyers.
So every woman in Denver will know that this guy has a small cock, AND no money!
Why is he doing this, again?
In practice, many, many natural statistics are normally distributed, and it would be a reasonable guess that penis length is. Therefore, the mean and the median will be the same.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo
--Andy Finkel (J. Klass?)
From a social engineering point of view, selling penis enlargement pills can bring a very limited amount of loss. Just imagine, you are a guy who is concerned about his manhood. You buy tons of expensive pills to find out that none of them work. Would you advertise it to the rest of the world? Would you have enough balls to tell a sweet young lady on the other side of the phone that your penis is still small despite that four hundred dollars that you have spent in the past six months? Probably not.
Additionally, you cannot argue when it comes to shady products such as penis enlargement and dieting pills. Usually when you get those items, you get many disclosures that state "Not approved by FDA" and "results may vary." How are you going to argue against that? If you do not believe me, go to any GNC store and get a bottle of any *magic* pills that promise to turn you into a pro-bodybuilder with an eleven-inch manhood. Then read what it says on the bottle... then, if you dare, go and use it. Then go and complain about your results if you find them to be unsatisfactory. At best, everybody is going to laugh at you.
Damn it, they don't work!!
I Was looking forward to buying Mega Doses of Penis Enlarger treatments for Darl's Cellmate when he lands in the pound-me-in-the-ass prison!
Quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est
His enlargement worked so well, he is in Denver AND California at the same time. :-)
I need to switch banks! ;)
I want a new world. I think this one is broken.
It's how you use it...
To which the ladies reply, "Yeah, right."
We apologise for the fault in this post. Those responsible have been sacked. -- Signed RICHARD M. NIXON
Am I the only male reader of slashdot who takes offence at the implication that "Penis Enlargement Pills Do Not work" (and now someone has sued alleging fraud) is actually in any way relevant "stuff that matters" to me?
Just because I'm a geek of the highest order and a frequent slashdot poster doesn't mean I'm any less of a man (the fact that I don't have a girlfriend is neither here not there).
Visit CryptoGnome in his home.
..norwegian spammers aren't all too bright either, or well depending on how you look at it. Every Norwegian spam (or at least every one in Norwegian, 2-3 or so) has been directly from Norwegian servers with a clear and tracable path.
The day I start getting SPAM in Norwegian "from" China, is the day I worry. Then the advertised firm will claim innocents and outsourcing it to a third party in a foreign country, I'm not so sure how effective the anti-spam laws will be. Time will tell....
Kjella
Live today, because you never know what tomorrow brings
All that this issue needed was someone cocky enough to do it! Oh, the irony!!
He who laughs last is stuck in a time dilation bubble.
1. Your penis is small.
2. You thought LONGitude was a worthy investment towards solving #1
3. Your penis is still small.
4. You are fscking cheap and willing to swallow the embarassment of admitting all of the above just to reclaim your sixty bucks, even tho any male with one drop of self respect would simply forget the 60 bucks to save himself the embarassment of admitting that he is stupid, cheap and has a small dick.
- Taco
Etiquette is etiquette. He kills his mother but he can't wear grey trousers.
Back in my day when you had a small penis, you bought a Corvette, or collected big rifles and pistols
... and the less said about the endowment of those who drive Hummers, the better ...
Nowadays, some folks fearful of modern snake oils content themselves with their SUVs de jour
The Future of Human Evolution: Autonomy
It's probably open sores.
Infuriate left and right
Quite a while ago I posted a comment to a spam article about trusting to buy from spammers, asking "Who would put in their mouth and swallow something from a spammer."
Well, it's old news (Haven't seen an opportunity to post this since then) but I was more correct in asking this than I had imagined.
Well, it turns out some folks at the Wall Street Journal did a laboratory study of these pills, and "analysis of a composite sample of 10 Performance Marketing pills and turned up significant levels of E. coli, yeast, mold, lead and pesticide residues."
So among other nasties, there is a significant amount of fecal matter in these pills.
I'm actually suprised this isn't bigger news.
Maybe we should all put it in our signature files until the spammers go away: "Penis Pills have Poop in them!"
Maybe some idiot that is stupid enough to buy from a spammer will die of E. coli and get a Darwin Award. Those sure get forwarded around a lot. Even my mom forwarded me the nominations for the 2003 Darwin Awards. (Which suprised me.)
Maybe I should submit it for a Front Page story, but it was originally reported on August 13, 2003.
This signature used to contain a cute kitty virus with ansii art. Please set the slashdot editors on fire. Thank you
Someone standing up for the little guy....
I am not sure about the products advertised in the spam. But, reading through all the different forums on the internet, it seems clear that something is successfully turning men into dicks and women into boobs.
May I suggest using the money to buy mega cartons of Marlboros for Darl's cellmate when he lands in Pound-Me-In-the-Ass prison? While you're at it, make sure to mention that you're a "friend" of Darl's and it'd be such a "shame" if anything "unpleasant" happened to him...
:)
Given that Darl is bound to wind up married to the man with the most cigarettes, the trick is to make sure the right man (or in this case, the most "oh dear Lord have mercy God NOOOOOOOOOO!" man) has the most cigarettes.
Cigarettes: Viagra for the penal system!
Ever since moving to Colorado from California nine years ago, my wife and I have gotten into the habit of telling people we are "from" where we were born. In my case, that means Ohio and, in her case, it means Minneapolis. We only admit we moved to Colorado from California under intense interrogation.
Besides "liberal" tax and spend attitudes, most Califorians don't have the slightest idea of how to drive in ice and snow. This seems to be as much a part of Coloradans taking a dislike to Californians as anything. Thus, saying we are "from" the midwest seems to disarm some of the hostility we might otherwise encounter.
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither safety nor liberty.
Ben
According to this reliable site no penis enlargement system works but theirs.
They wouldn't lie, would they ? After all, it's written on the web, so it must be true.
-
Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF, find / -name '*base*' |xargs chown -R us && mv zig greatjustice
I used to work for NextCard Visa and one time I got a call from someone disputing a charge on their bill.
It was a pretty cryptic iBillCS.com charge or something, so I asked what it was. He said it was an e-mail for penis enlargement he got. So I asked if they billed him without his permission or got his account information somehow, but he said nope... he ordered the penis enlargement but it just didn't work.
So I sent him his dispute form.
But I put the guy immediately on hold and called everyone on my team over to look at my screen and see what this guy was disputing. Everyone had a good laugh.
So I guess some people are shameless and admit to it, anyway.
This is a first time in awhile that a comments section in Slashdot has had enough spunk to cause me to spit a load of Mountain Dew all over my nice flatscreen monitor. You tools should be ashamed.
Well, now that my monitor is clean, it's time to go back to repling to the e-mail from the grammatically challenged lesbian teen to see how I can "make women gasp when pants go down".
Even the ones hawking these things tell you that the average size for a human is something like 6.1 inches. And that the vast majority of humans have "only" that size.
So basically guess what? Anyone who "only" has 6 inches -- or is within, say, +/- 10% of that -- is just a perfectly normal member of the human species.
Why, in Odin's name, would anyone feel desperate and inadequate for being perfectly normal? WTH? Since when it's inadequate to _not_ be a mutant?
I mean, what next? Spam for pills to grow a 6'th finger on your hands? Or to grow an elephant trunk instead of a nose? Or to grow a giraffe neck?
The whole thing seems stupid beyond belief to me.
A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.