Slashdot Mirror
California Man Sues Penis-Enlargment Firms
Ronin writes "The DenverPost reports that 'A California man on Thursday sued a slew of international companies, including a Greeley distributor, alleging the penis-enlargement products they market and distribute do not work.' One of the highlights of the article is when the man says "I was wondering for a long time why no one has gotten around to suing these penis-enlargement guys, because it seems like a pretty blatant ... fraud." Probably cause people are too embarrased to say they've tried it."
These things prey on people's desperation and feelings of inadequacy. I mean really, even a tiny dude can score if his head game is good.
Perhaps this will convince those spammers, that not everybody is stupid enough to buy their snake-oil. If they keep losing money from lawsuits, maybe they'll just crawl back in their holes and rot.
Hey! come on! try dividing it by anything!
It IS about time someone did this, what a freakin' scam this is...not that I tried it or anything like that :(
Boycott everything - they're all trying to fuck you one way or another
Perhaps one of the reasons is because many times it's hard to track down the guys actually this shit? If most of the time people can't even catch the spammers themselves, how can a simple guy who wants to make his penis grow find someone who's probably went to great lengths to mask their identity?
As silly as it sounds, if some people who've been duped could get a class action lawsuit going, they could simultaneously go after spammers.
...at first I read that as "Denver Man Sues Penis-Enlargement Farms".
FLR
A California man on Thursday sued a slew of international companies, including a Greeley distributor, alleging the penis-enlargement products they market and distribute do not work.
And the judge replied: "Duh, fucknut. Get out of my courtroom."
----
"Ours was a free culture. It is becoming much less so."-Lawrence Lessig
If your penis doesn't enlarge when you rub cream on it, maybe you're buying the wrong product.
If his lawsuit is successful and these penis-enlargement companies get put out of business, my inbox should become considerably less cluttered.
I am Sartre of the Borg. Existence is futile.
Takes some balls to do that..
;)
Gonna be a hard case to win mind
(That took far too much effort.. Must touch up on my wang referencing skills)
fortune -o
Man, do we really want to know about this guys life??
I mean, why not just go switch on the telly and watch some reruns of neighbours.
I'll testify against that guy any day! My penis grew to 7 feet, just as promised! You should see the look on those animal's faces. :P
---- I'll take you in a Hunt deathmatch any day.
I'm amazed that they got a million people to sign onto the class action suit. Essentially that means 1,000,000 men are willing to stand up and say "hi, I have an abnormally small penis AND I was stupid enough to respond to spam".
1) advertise for sexual products of the kinky kind ...
2) charge $3 for the product
3) never deliver
4) when customer complains, mail a check for $3 with bold letters saying "RETURN FOR HUGE ANAL DILDO"
5) customer never has the courage to cash the check
6)
7) Profit !!
Who is this Karma guy and why is he bad ??
The DenverPost reports that 'A California man on Thursday sued a slew of international companies, including a Greeley distributor, alleging the penis-enlargement products they market and distribute do not work
...
I hope he doesn't plan on paying his lawyers with the money he's waiting for from his business associate and dear friend, Dr. Adelawe Johnson in Lago, Nigeria
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
Guy is in California, lawyer is in New York, suit filed in Denver, companies are in Cyprus and British Columbia. Yeah, it's a little confusing.
I belong to the ______ generation.
Man launches case against spammers after learning that Hot Lesbian Teens Do Not Want His Throbbing Cock Right Now!
Bancroft wrote that nothing other than testosterone can increase penis size.
hmm wonder if you can sell testosterone?
The guy is from California. The lawsuit was filed in Denver, and the distributor is from Greely (CO).
Quality submission.
I am not Herbert.
that this gives a whole new meaning to the idea of being "pissed".
C|N>K
We call Colorado "New California."
Didn't you get the memo?
Constitutional rights may be respected, repealed, or modified; but they must never be ignored.
Wonder if calling him a Big Dick qualifies as Affirmative Defense
Help fight continental drift.
Up next. Woman sues penish enlargment pill seller for making her boyfriend's penis too large. Their response, "Why should my client be responsible if her eyes are bigger than her ..."
Fight Spammers!
It's fairly clear from the article he's a California man suing a Greely, CO firm in Denver, CO, most likely because it's an interstate matter. Greeley is in Weld county... one would assume the suit would take place in the county seat (which I believe is Greeley)... but I don't really know too much in matters of interstate law. Perhaps one of the sides requested a change of venue...
... this hasn't been done before. More specifically, I wonder why a woman hasn't already devised a class action sexual harassment suit built around penis enlargement or viagra spam.
"Obviously, I'm not an IBM computer any more than I'm an ashtray" (Bob Dylan)
If we allwent out, suing and legally harassing these sam firms at each and every opportunity, we'd get somewhere. I have made it my personal goal to chase the bastards down on each opportuinty I get. Where I live, spam is in effect illegal and I have gotten four (4) spams from Norwegian companies since my main email address went up some six years ago. All of them were reported to the state consumer ombudsman (what you don't have one?) Three of them have resulted in reprimandes and none of them repeated the offence.
Get down from you high horses and start the hand to hand combat!
No, they don't match.
Headline: "Denver Man Sues Penis-Enlargment Firms"
Summary: "A California man on Thursday sued.."
LOL! i guess he got to know that empirically. kinda embarrasing going to court with the evidence, don't you think?? :P
...from what I've read, a woman's vagina only has sensitivity in the first 3.75 inches, so big wang dang doodles don't really make a difference. However, if your cirumference is less than 3.75", you're measuring in at less than the necessary width to apply pressure to the walls of the vagina, and you might as well just stick it in the mud, 'cause its not going to do any good. So, really, wangular width is whats important.
1. Get the spamming community to use linux.
2. SCO sues spammers on copyright charges, drains spammers of funds.
3. Spammers destroy SCO's site permantly.
Steve
Sometimes I lose faith in Slashdot, and then a little gem like this story comes along to keep me going through the night.
Buy Steampunk Clothing Online!
Well done for having the gaul to go through with this and just remember...
Its not the size of your out of court settlement, its what you do with it that counts.
Yeah, you might have grabbed the Ben-Gay by mistake.
I'll bite the troll. *chomp*. It's because this deals with spam, which clogs the Internet and has grown to outnumber legitimate email. As such, the Defenders of the Internet (i.e. us, the Slashdot nerds) have banded together to gripe about it, and we're excited whenever somebody actually gets up off of his/her arse and does something about it.
--- Bwah?
The field of anthropology facinates me... In one of the texts that I read, I found mention to the Topinama tribe of Brazil. These people lived as they were until the 16th century, and had a very interesting practice. The men would have a local venomous snake bite their penises, and after six months of mind-altering agony, their shlongs had become very long. Now, what I want to know is how this happened (and what type of snake was used)?
3 degrees of separation from Vladimir Putin
They do work my penis is up to 2 inches(5.08 cm).
Yours Truly,
Darl McBride
SCO Group
Veramocor
I don't think I'd want to buy a "Certified Pre-Owned / Factory Repack" one of these gadgets. I certainly hope they throw their returns away!
From the article:
The lawsuit, filed in U.S. District Court in Denver, seeks class-action status to represent an estimated 1 million people who ordered the products in response to advertisements on television, radio and spam e-mail.
I'd like to know how they arrived at this estimate of 1 million customers. How are the damages (after the lawyers' fee) to be distributed? Equally among all these people? How did the plaintiff learn their identities?
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
> Become 10 times the man you are,
> increase your length by two inches!
Let's see, two divided by ten ... hey, I'm feeling offended!
i wonder if spammers can get away with the lawsuits if they include such disclaimer? after all, no two natural things are the same.
i grow cucumbers at home, and the seed package says "colour and length may vary from pictured".
This was a shiny dollar bill on the ground waiting to be picked up, and it didn't occur to anybody to do it. I mean, the claims being made are pretty blatantly falsifiable. Take someone's money and make their penis longer? How hard is it really to verify to the satisfaction of a court that these claims are fraudulent? This is blatant fraud, relying on the fact that nobody wants to file a suit on behalf of guys with small penises who respond to spam. This guy obviously doesn't care what anyone thinks of him and I can really respect that.
I have a question for all you Slashdot lawyers, who are always good for some creative interpretation of the law. Is it possible for me to form and sue on behalf of a class, and name another class as the defendant? Specifically, I would like to sue on behalf of everyone who has received a penis-enlargement spam and did not respond to it, and I would seek damages against the class of individuals who received this spam and did respond to it. And I would specifically like to include in my definition of this latter class those individuals who seek relief in this case, so that I can place a lien on any judgments squeezed out of Ron "Hedgehog" Jeremy for failing to lengthen the members of this class as promised. Part of that money is required to cover my email deletion charges.
If he can be in both Denver and California at the same time.
R3AL V@GINAL SHRINKING CREAM!
Men! Do your wives complain that your manhood just doesn't measure up? Slip your woman some VSC and in two to three weeks your woman will be wondering what she was complaining about!
SIZE DOES MATTER!
beowulf289028344street12
A winner is you!
As some that read the news might say, "No shit, Sherlock."
If he's clueless, at least he should read the news, no?
Information: "I want to be anthropomorphized"
It appears to me that people who are stupid (and insecure, but mainly just stupid) enough to buy these products seem for some reason unable to resist the persuasive tactics of modern marketing. Surely logically, the demographic spending money on such obviously fake products must waste vast amount of money on anything which appears in a slick television commercial, created by intelligent advertising execs who can speak English.
I suspect that even if penis enlargement pills and suchlike are taken off the market, those that will buy such products will simply spend their money on something else that they neither really want nor need (diet pills, viagra, naked teens in their email etc.) Although the advertisers are clearly doing wrong in this case, and suing them is a good course of action, this may not really help matter in the long term. There have always been products on the market whose effectiveness is dubious at best, and are often even harmful, yet some people clearly continue to purchase them. Perhaps the answer could be stricter controls over what products are allowed to be advertised at all. The crazy extreme alternative of course, is to take money away from the stupid people, but with adverts for personal loans and debt consolidation every five minutes during our mind-numbing daytime TV schedules, it seems unlikely that this will happen any time soon.
Food for thought, in any case.
A very large and well known "newspaper" proprietor in the UK made his money initially by offering a product for sale via mail order. He had limited stock but kept selling it even when he ran out. He then explained that they had run out and refunded the money via cheque. The cheque was drawn by the "I take it up the arse club" or similar. How many people do you think took that to their bank? Similar thing with these guys.
You call me a pedant? I prefer the term "correct"
Well, if you are stupid enough to believe that a PILL can enlarge your penis, your deserve to get ripped off. Otherwise, if you bought a pill to give you an erection and it did not work, then you would have a reason to be pist (figuratively, not literally, I mean.....) :)
"Jeremy, you need to get to an internet cafe and cut and paste some appropriate sentiments about me from the world wide
Suing over spam has happened before. See here and here.
I hope this becomes a trend, so spammers become discouraged, and find other means of living, like drycleaning or cemetery watchmen.
This guy might have a small penis but he does have big balls!
Excellent. I'm hoping it'll be easy to get a list of the people involved in the class action. Those are those jerks who have been encouraging spammers by replying to junk email. Get 'em!
Al Qaeda has ninjas!
Penis enlargement firm?
Heh, he said..."firm".
I've found it works pretty well for me. (Proof available on request.)
What is he going to do, drop his trousers for the judge?
Why is that? Lots of people move there from CA?
Here I was thinking he was actually suing them for Intellectual Property, like everyone else these days, but who dealing with these phony pharmecuticals, on either side, could be considered an intellectual. I'd like to know if these other things which have been bombarding my mailbox (about 50 a day) pushing codeine, tylenol3, etc. are also just bogus pills. Who's going to admit they got ripped off trying to buy prescription drugs by illegitimate means, eh?
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
How do you prove that your penis is the same size after treatment? Well, you have to have a before and after shot. To paraphrase "Red Dwarf"
Is it normal?
What? Taking photos of it and showing them to your friends? No, it's not.
Or you could have a material witness. Considering he is using the stuff I think it highly unlikely that there are many of those around.
You call me a pedant? I prefer the term "correct"
And even if you do have a small weener, would you really buy an "herbal supplament" for the problem?
I guess people really will buy anything if you get your message across to enough people of the correct (i.e. low) intelligence.
An Anon. Coward asked:
From the posting at the top of the page (my emphasis):
Hopefully, this question is now answered.
If I just fed a troll, well, too bad.
Overrated / Underrated : Moderation
An oldie, but goody:
After a long makeout session, a man and his girlfriend are about to have sex for the first time. Dude starts undressing, shoes and socks come off first, and the girl asks: "What happened to your feet? They're all messed up!"
Guy says, "As a kid, I had tolio".
She shrugs it off, but when the pants come off, well, there's something odd there, too. The guy notices the look on her face, and says, "As a kid, I had the kneesles".
The rest of the clothes come off. When the girl sees his package, she gets exasperated and says, "Let me guess, smallcocks, right?"
Not that I've tried them, however, I was taking zinc supplements among other things for body building. Zinc is a precursor to testosterone, and when you take zinc supplements, it increases your production of it. One of the things I noticed, and my girlfriend noticed, that it seemed bigger. It doesn't actually increase the size of it persay, but the added testosterone in your body makes you have much firmer erections. Like, we're talking rock hard, morning wood type erections, any time of the day.
Penis enlargement pills are mostly zinc compounds. When you stop taking the zinc supplements, the effect will be gone also.
But, "add 2 inches in 30 days"??!?! Maybe if your erections are not that hard to begin with. Sometimes when I'm not that hard, but still enough to have sex, it's still around 6". But when I get really hard, it's more like 7.5-8. I'm not exaggerating, I'm posing anonymously so I have nothing to prove here. But even at 7.5-8 inches, if there was a pill that would magically add a couple of inches, I'd buy it. So it's not just guys w/ small penises buying this stuff, it's all guys. Guys have a fascination with having a huge dick.
This guy tried a penis enlargement pill and blogged about it. Take a look at his conclusion.
I meta-mod all positive moderation Unfair, because it's abuse of the system.
Advanced Botanicals Inc's contact page can be found here. They're listed on this page as having different products refused entry to the US for false labelling.
Carousel is a lie!
Lawyer: So how can you prove it doesn't work? Man: (Drops pants) Lawyer: I see...
Creative Demolition
a guy and his newlywed wife are on their honeymoon, getting ready to have sex for the first time.
before getting any further, the guy warns his wife: "i just want to let you know, i'm like a baby down there."
the wife responds: "it's okay. i love you no matter what."
the man then takes off his clothes and the wife falls off the bed and exclaims: "i thought you said you were like a baby down there!"
he responds: "i am. it's 12" long and weighs 9 pounds."
my guess this is: ...stuff that matters?
-- Free software on every PC on every desk
Maybe Slashdot editors are in need of some headline enlargment or something.
FIRM
Get it? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Ok...not that funny.
See, when Ben-Gay is applied, it causes a tingling numbness sensation. If it were applied to the penis, you would lose feeling. If you can't feel your penis, you'd probably won't get it up.
I hate having the urge to explain things to trolls, but it's a weakness I have to live with. Every day is a struggle.
Right after his honey moon, Bill Gates' wife tells him: "Now I understand why is it called Microsoft".
"There is no teacher but the enemy."-Mazer Rackham
Did this actually happen, or was is just a line in "Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels"?
Excellent film by the way.
excellent job dude - THANKS !!!! LOL
I've got a 6 inch tongue with a wart on it!
no complaints in over 30 years.
Professional Politicians are not the solution, they ARE the problem.
Kind of odd, typically you sue in your jurisdiction if you can, gives you the home field advantage and less of an expense to litigate.
Lock Stock just recycled the idea. The cam probably wouldn't even be that successful these days as banks are more faceless. In the old days when you actually had to queue up and physically hand the check to a girl at the counter it would be much more intimidating than simply shoving it in a hole in the wall for some unknown person to deal with.
Boffoonery - downloadable Comedy Benefit for Bletchley Park
Judging by past class action suits, about $10.00 per member of the class. And a few million each for the lawyers.
So every woman in Denver will know that this guy has a small cock, AND no money!
Why is he doing this, again?
until some doc at Johns Hopkins discovers stem cells for penis then we'll see who's bigger
In practice, many, many natural statistics are normally distributed, and it would be a reasonable guess that penis length is. Therefore, the mean and the median will be the same.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo
--Andy Finkel (J. Klass?)
Oh probably 2 or 3 years ago we felt a huge influx of Californians. Then they all moved to Boulder. Or at least it seemed that way. I remember the news was telling newcomers to change their liscense plates as soon as possilbe to avoid problems in traffic.
But honestly, I think we've got more texans than Californians recently.
Constitutional rights may be respected, repealed, or modified; but they must never be ignored.
From a social engineering point of view, selling penis enlargement pills can bring a very limited amount of loss. Just imagine, you are a guy who is concerned about his manhood. You buy tons of expensive pills to find out that none of them work. Would you advertise it to the rest of the world? Would you have enough balls to tell a sweet young lady on the other side of the phone that your penis is still small despite that four hundred dollars that you have spent in the past six months? Probably not.
Additionally, you cannot argue when it comes to shady products such as penis enlargement and dieting pills. Usually when you get those items, you get many disclosures that state "Not approved by FDA" and "results may vary." How are you going to argue against that? If you do not believe me, go to any GNC store and get a bottle of any *magic* pills that promise to turn you into a pro-bodybuilder with an eleven-inch manhood. Then read what it says on the bottle... then, if you dare, go and use it. Then go and complain about your results if you find them to be unsatisfactory. At best, everybody is going to laugh at you.
Damn it, they don't work!!
I Was looking forward to buying Mega Doses of Penis Enlarger treatments for Darl's Cellmate when he lands in the pound-me-in-the-ass prison!
Quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est
trouser snake-oil
Gets in and out, and she never knows he was there.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
His enlargement worked so well, he is in Denver AND California at the same time. :-)
We call Colorado "New California."
Why is that? Lots of people move there from CA?
Yes, that started happening a lot several years ago when the prices in real estate properties were vastly different. You could buy 2 or 3 nice houses in CO for what you sold your CA home for. Of course, with lots of people willing to pay top dollar for a home, the prices here have skyrockted over the last several years, now the people that were born and raised in this area can't afford to live here. That's not as bad as the health freaks who won't let me smoke in a bar anymore, but that's a different battle.
You know, being in Ft. Collins, CO - I'm only about 30 minutes from Greeley, maybe I should offer this gentleman who's sueing a more... um... direct approach to his problems, for a small fee of course.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
I'd like to mod "+1 Funny" the user who modded this post "+1 Interesting"
The IT section color scheme sucks.
I wonder how he's going to prove this in court. Did he take a before and after picture or something?
in girum imus nocte et consumimur igni
Though, in my case, the buyers' preferred lender refused the buyers' lawyer acting via a POA and they eventually had to do a cash closing.
I had the wonderful experience of using the U.S. consulate in Toronto for one of the oldest raison d'etre (reasons for being, literally) of U.S. consulates: verifying the authenticity of signatures on U.S. legal documents.
You could've hired me.
Perhaps he's premature :-)
Psychic hotlines been doing that for years.
OTOH, I've heard those penis pumps (with prolonged use) actually do make your penis slightly larger, but that they also turn it into a big numb sausage hardly fit for peeing out of, never mind sex.
They say the first thing to go is your penis. Well, it's either that or your brain. I forget which...
In particular, Finbarr Saunders (and his double entendres). If you have no idea what I'm talking about, FIND OUT!!! You'll be glad you did ;-)
Denver Man Sues Penis-Enlargment Firms
A California man on Thursday sued
I know the answer, but what happened to editorial review of titles and articles?
Appended to the end of comments you post. 120 chars.
It's how you use it...
To which the ladies reply, "Yeah, right."
We apologise for the fault in this post. Those responsible have been sacked. -- Signed RICHARD M. NIXON
These things prey on people's desperation and feelings of inadequacy. I mean really, even a tiny dude can score if his head game is good.
People like you and "California man" mess it up for the rest of us. Doesn't work...HAH! I went from 6 inches to over 15 cm. in just under a year. . . . sarcasm
And when you talk to people from Colorado, they call the influx the "Californication" of Colorado. They are NOT looked upon nicely by natives.
Yeah ok I used it. It didn't make my penis any bigger, but my hands are now huge.
In the Slashdot moderating system, humourless based offenses are considered especially heinous.
There was something several years ago about a company with a money back offer if you weren't pleased with their porn / product (I forget which) and they issued a check from something like "Anal Rape and Masturbation company" and they made a bunch of money because everyone was too embarassed to cash the check. I think it might have even been on Slashdot.
Am I the only male reader of slashdot who takes offence at the implication that "Penis Enlargement Pills Do Not work" (and now someone has sued alleging fraud) is actually in any way relevant "stuff that matters" to me?
Just because I'm a geek of the highest order and a frequent slashdot poster doesn't mean I'm any less of a man (the fact that I don't have a girlfriend is neither here not there).
Visit CryptoGnome in his home.
...for increasing the amount of Spam I receive by actually ordering something in response to Spam. I can't believe anyone here is actually rooting for this guy. Maybe I should order that $39 copy of Photoshop and then sue the sellers when I don't get an authentic copy.
666-607: 6th floor apartment of the beast
..norwegian spammers aren't all too bright either, or well depending on how you look at it. Every Norwegian spam (or at least every one in Norwegian, 2-3 or so) has been directly from Norwegian servers with a clear and tracable path.
The day I start getting SPAM in Norwegian "from" China, is the day I worry. Then the advertised firm will claim innocents and outsourcing it to a third party in a foreign country, I'm not so sure how effective the anti-spam laws will be. Time will tell....
Kjella
Live today, because you never know what tomorrow brings
I dunno. Seems pretty shrewd. If you can pick up a nice set of damages and can come off as looking slick and doing a service for society into the bargain, I'd say that you're doing pretty well.
May we never see th
What a silly slashdot category for this article- it really needs to be in the humor section.
All that this issue needed was someone cocky enough to do it! Oh, the irony!!
He who laughs last is stuck in a time dilation bubble.
"The California man paid $160 for an order of VigRx Oil after receiving an unsolicited e-mail touting the product, according to his declaration." Wow. Are you kidding me? No, seriously. He just thought sending off $160 to someone he had gotten an unsolicited email was a GOOD idea? If this is the case, spam will NEVER die.
The Kinsey Institute for Sex, Gender and Reproduction is located at Indiana University, not the University of Indiana.
"Say it loudly, and proudly"
Says the anonymous coward... mmmyup. Moreso than the penis, the length of the tongue isn't nearly as important as skill in using it. Having a pierced tongue really helps, too...
1. Your penis is small.
2. You thought LONGitude was a worthy investment towards solving #1
3. Your penis is still small.
4. You are fscking cheap and willing to swallow the embarassment of admitting all of the above just to reclaim your sixty bucks, even tho any male with one drop of self respect would simply forget the 60 bucks to save himself the embarassment of admitting that he is stupid, cheap and has a small dick.
- Taco
Etiquette is etiquette. He kills his mother but he can't wear grey trousers.
The vaginal opening in a petite woman varies in size and depth. And that goes with any woman regardless of size mind you.
Same thing applies to men. Even the shortest, skinniest man can be well endowed.
Life is not for the lazy.
Actually, I'm pretty sure you sue where you're more likely to win...given things like the judges, that state's laws against such things, the courts track record, etc...Colorado is a very conservative and religious state, maybe they think that will be an advantage over a liberal state like california- maybe they think the CO judge will cringe at the very word "penis" - of course i'm just speculating here ;)
...and keep in mind that this is about as unofficial a statistic as you can get, given that it was given as the "out-of-the-blue questionaire" for an underground newspaper (readme) at Carnegie Mellon University. The sample size is probably quite small as well.
Anyway, the questionaire showed that, at least in terms of conscious sexual appeal, a pretty large proportion of women interviewed on campus found large penis girth to be significantly more highly valued than long penis length.
This matches up with the claim here. I suppose there's probably someone that's done serious studies in this field, given the marketing power of sex.
May we never see th
So I see this story, juxtaposed next to the latest
Someone clearly has a sense of humour...
-- This
Back in my day when you had a small penis, you bought a Corvette, or collected big rifles and pistols
... and the less said about the endowment of those who drive Hummers, the better ...
Nowadays, some folks fearful of modern snake oils content themselves with their SUVs de jour
The Future of Human Evolution: Autonomy
I think that was trademarked many years ago by Oregonians.
It's probably open sores.
Infuriate left and right
Hmmm, apparently Norwegian law has some teeth. Where can I, a Dutch citizen, file a lawsuit against a US based spammer who advertises a web site in China with a French domain registrar, spammed through a hacked cable modem in Germany, if the product is shipped from Canada? Do I just call Oslo directory information and ask for the spam court?
Oh, and in case you wondered, I wrote to all of the ISP's involved and got zero cooperation from any of them, so tying the US based spammer to a specific violation of Norwegian law might pose some... issues.
Bert Driehuis -- All I asked was a friggin' rotatin' chair. Throw me a bone here, people.
Quite a while ago I posted a comment to a spam article about trusting to buy from spammers, asking "Who would put in their mouth and swallow something from a spammer."
Well, it's old news (Haven't seen an opportunity to post this since then) but I was more correct in asking this than I had imagined.
Well, it turns out some folks at the Wall Street Journal did a laboratory study of these pills, and "analysis of a composite sample of 10 Performance Marketing pills and turned up significant levels of E. coli, yeast, mold, lead and pesticide residues."
So among other nasties, there is a significant amount of fecal matter in these pills.
I'm actually suprised this isn't bigger news.
Maybe we should all put it in our signature files until the spammers go away: "Penis Pills have Poop in them!"
Maybe some idiot that is stupid enough to buy from a spammer will die of E. coli and get a Darwin Award. Those sure get forwarded around a lot. Even my mom forwarded me the nominations for the 2003 Darwin Awards. (Which suprised me.)
Maybe I should submit it for a Front Page story, but it was originally reported on August 13, 2003.
This signature used to contain a cute kitty virus with ansii art. Please set the slashdot editors on fire. Thank you
Someone standing up for the little guy....
How's the plaintiff going to prove it didn't work? Did he have an independent party measure him before he started with the product? And afterward? Erect?
I did a little Googling, and found several references to "Technipak" in Greeley Colorado. Most were folks like www.pheromones-attract-women.com who state something like "discreetly shipped in a plain package with a shipping label from Technipak Delivery Service"
The corporate website
Looks like they're a full service order fulfillment company. It'll probably be easy enough for them to claim "reasonable ignorance" if they're just doing the order fulfillment. It might be more difficult to make those claims if they're doing website maintenance, customer service and raw materials procurement. Either way, they're probably the wrong folks to go after with accusations of fraud. Going after the international businesses won't be easy either. I hope Mr. Horton has enough financial backing to pursue it, 'cause it ain't gonna be cheap.
Because they'd rather swallow their monetary losses than admit before a court that they have a small dick?
Not entirely. You have the group of people who don't want to admit they heve a small dick, but that's not all of them. There's also the group that doesn't want to admit that they though they could get a bigger penis by paying $160 for a bottle of pills. When you combine people too ashamed to admit they have a small dick with people too ashamed to admit how stupid they were, that covers pretty much everyone.
paintball
Ive been rubbing that vig Oil on my thingie for months.....nothing...still have a 1 inch slong.
But my hand is HUGE!
They were selling PILLS to make your snake bigger.
paintball
So you are like New York, but with better weather, ehh?
"No reasonable person could have believed that these advertisements were true."
paintball
I am not sure about the products advertised in the spam. But, reading through all the different forums on the internet, it seems clear that something is successfully turning men into dicks and women into boobs.
Just one of Timothy's personal grudges.
paintball
When a suit gets class action status, everyone who meets the criteria is *AUTOMATICALLY* included in the class unless they SPECIFICALLY elect not to be.
That's why you see all them class action and settlement notices in big papers and the like - legal requirement to "get the word out" so people in the class have a "reasonable" opportunity to remove themselves and thus preserve their ability to sue on their own.
paintball
Here in Pueblo the Californians have banned smoking in bars too. Somehow the housing prices have stayed normal here, though. Probably because no one that had money would ever dream of living here.
If this suit succeeds, then one of the staple items of spam content potentially disappears.
On the other hand, one million (according to the article) dumbasses are rewarded for their bad judgement. It's likely they'll continue to think there's nothing at all wrong from purchasing junk from a spammer--if not penis pills, then something else just as shady.
Those who can, do. Those who can't, write technology blogs.
nobody is going to be flirting with Denver Man during this trial.
Table-ized A.I.
Most natural statistics are artificially distributed there.
paintball
> But since the penis size probably follows a normal distribution, 50% are below the average.
probably is the operative word there. How many studies have been done on penis size? My guess: none, although I believe Kinsey named an average size but I've no idea what his methodology was.
If any studies had been done wouldn't you just get the guys with the big todgers showing up for the study and the little guys staying at home, hence skewing the results?
Average penis size looks like it might remain a mystery and lets not even get into measurements being taken when the aforementioned member is flaccid or...ahem...aroused
So trying to sell penis pills/potions by telling somebody they are smaller than average doesn't make sense because the mean is unknown (and probably unknowable).
The Machine stops.
Well, if you are stupid enough to believe that a PILL can enlarge your penis...
That all depends on where you put the pills and how big they are.
paintball
Are you saying that this Bud Light isn't going to get tremendously hot women to talk to me?
If so, I can tell you from personal experience that you're wrong. The more Bud Lights I have, the better the women that talk to me look.
paintball
I have responded to all of the spam in my inbox over the past few years.
I have four thousand, two hundred and fifteen higher education degrees.
Sir Edmund Hillary wants to climb my boobs.
And between all the penis enlargement and viagra spam, I'm so long and perpetually hard that NASA wants to use my dong as a space elevator.
-JDF
A lot of these junk products remain legal because they very narrowly escape making outright false claims. My local radio stations are currently inundated with "star registry" commercials in time for V-day. The particular company claims that "the star name is registered in book form in the U.S. Copyright Office." Very clever. Name-dropping a government agency gives their claim an appearance of legitimacy, when in fact all they are doing is taking your $50 and writing down someone's name in a book. Hell, I can do that for $25. Another product claims to regrow hair, and "is so effective that it was awarded a patent." The truth, of course, is that a patent only says a particular party has claim to an idea or method, not that the idea or method actually does something useful.
My personal favorites are the suggested-physician scam products. These companies try to suggest that a doctor is/was involved with the product, and we are supposed to make the mental leap that this means the product has been proven to work through rigorous medical trials. The cheapest scammers use the words "doctor" or "physician" in the product name. Next are the doctors that speak to you on television, but hold a doctorate in some totally unrelated field (most likely business). Some of these guys manage to get a real M.D., but he only says something like "I use it", or perhaps "it worked for me", which really isn't making any legally-binding promises.
But, scammers can claim damn near anything they want, as long as they can make you keep it for [at most] 30 days, they have your money and you can't do a thing about it. (I love it when they claim a 60 or 90 day "guaranteed" refund -- as if they are required by law to honor that) The only thing the scammers have to worry about is if the product hurts you, so it's in their best interest that the product does nothing at all.
Fred
"A fool and his freedom are soon parted"
-RMS
They can have the sandwich. It wasn't very good to begin with, anyway.
I must find it amusing that someone actually believed the claims these companies were making. :)
GJC
Gregory Casamento
## Chief Maintainer for GNUstep
...that there's a big OSDN Personals ad at the top of the comments on this article?
May I suggest using the money to buy mega cartons of Marlboros for Darl's cellmate when he lands in Pound-Me-In-the-Ass prison? While you're at it, make sure to mention that you're a "friend" of Darl's and it'd be such a "shame" if anything "unpleasant" happened to him...
:)
Given that Darl is bound to wind up married to the man with the most cigarettes, the trick is to make sure the right man (or in this case, the most "oh dear Lord have mercy God NOOOOOOOOOO!" man) has the most cigarettes.
Cigarettes: Viagra for the penal system!
We also feel cheated out of a useful legal system because of sue-happy jack asses such as yourself.
This guy is a real treasure.
Ever since moving to Colorado from California nine years ago, my wife and I have gotten into the habit of telling people we are "from" where we were born. In my case, that means Ohio and, in her case, it means Minneapolis. We only admit we moved to Colorado from California under intense interrogation.
Besides "liberal" tax and spend attitudes, most Califorians don't have the slightest idea of how to drive in ice and snow. This seems to be as much a part of Coloradans taking a dislike to Californians as anything. Thus, saying we are "from" the midwest seems to disarm some of the hostility we might otherwise encounter.
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither safety nor liberty.
Ben
Is this really Expanding a Geeks Head..? No pun intended..(ok, yes it is..)) Being a faithful follower & reader of '/.' , this subject here just don't feel right. Is this is a place for 'News for Nerds / Stuff that Matters' or a place for 'Fiends w/ little Wienies / Stuff that Splatters'. Times a changin'~..
You know, when I search for "California's problems" I just get the usual prolifera of all the ways God hates you.
Yes, but will his evidence stand up in court?
"You saved 1968." - Ms. Valerie Pringle to the crew of Apollo 8
(IANAL) Often you sue in the court of the jurisdiction that made the rule...
Since I seriously doubt the city has written any consumer-protection laws, and I seriously doubt the county has, he might be suing them in state court. But consumer protection is one of those things that a lot of states just leave up to the fed., so Denver may be the closest federal court.
The definition of a liberal: I may disagree with what you have to say, but I'll fight for your right to say it
If you think that hitting the back is what's important, you're probably not a very skillful fucker.
I rarely hit the back, but I got repeat business from girls I'd been doing off and on since high school (until I got engaged to one of them). Skill beats size any day. And among skillful fuckers, size only changes the approach to your technique, it doesn't make you better in bed. My older brother's cock is bigger than mine by a fair bit, but he's always complaining about not being able to fit in some of the girls he's cared very much about. He calls it "half-boning," and it caused a very serious problem between him and the girl we all thought he was going to marry. They broke up, and my bro intimated to me that it was the sex that made their relationship go downhill.
Pounds are a unit of weight, not mass. The premature baby could be on Jupiter.
They don't call them SUPs for nothing, you know... That's "Sport Utility Penis".
One of the highlights of the article is when the man says "I was wondering for a long time why no one has gotten around to suing these penis-enlargement guys, because it seems like a pretty blatant ... fraud."
The defense is gonna claim the cocky bastard's gotta lot of balls to sue, so something must have worked.
(May Newton stop spinning in his grave)
1) The angle of the dangle is proportional to the lust for the bust.
2) The mass of the ass is proportional to the sag of the bag.
3) Motion produces lotion.
According to this reliable site no penis enlargement system works but theirs.
They wouldn't lie, would they ? After all, it's written on the web, so it must be true.
-
Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF, find / -name '*base*' |xargs chown -R us && mv zig greatjustice
That about sums it up. Pretty well, in fact.
Except that in the Denver area, the real-estate market has tanked horribly the last two years; prices before that (during the dotcom boom) were regullarly in the 250,000s for a small (maybe 1000-1200 sqft), home in a relatively good state of repair (and I say that as one that has worked on many houses in the area). It's down to 190,000 - 210,000 for the same place today, and they hang around on the market for many weeks or months, whereas they sold overnight for 250k just a few years ago.
Most homes here are made from whatever the builder could scrape together 60-80 years ago; the electricity and plumbing is a must to redo in basically every home, and sometimes it's even necessary to retap the water main to get enough flow to take a shower. The home I live in ran on two 20Amp fuses in series, was built in 1923, had about 1/16" of an inch for the water to squeeze through... And it's one of the better examples of a well-to-do home from that period that I've ever seen.
Expect to pay an additional 15-30K (if you're going to do some of the work, and more if not) to get a neglected home back into livable condition.
Constitutional rights may be respected, repealed, or modified; but they must never be ignored.
I stand corrected. Thank you for pointing that out!
No Inflation Taxation without Representation
Hitting the back hurts them, not helps them.
Forget driving in snow.... rain screws them up badly.
I suppose the heavier gravity might induce premature labor.
My deviantArt site
I sure would like to enlarge the title of this story by one letter!
I used to work for NextCard Visa and one time I got a call from someone disputing a charge on their bill.
It was a pretty cryptic iBillCS.com charge or something, so I asked what it was. He said it was an e-mail for penis enlargement he got. So I asked if they billed him without his permission or got his account information somehow, but he said nope... he ordered the penis enlargement but it just didn't work.
So I sent him his dispute form.
But I put the guy immediately on hold and called everyone on my team over to look at my screen and see what this guy was disputing. Everyone had a good laugh.
So I guess some people are shameless and admit to it, anyway.
neither is important the only thing that matters is that you're in love and if that's true then she'll enjoy herself no matter what and maybe if you swing your small axe very well or the motion in the puddle is pleasing it helps some but really its all just myth women don't care lalalalalalalalalalalalal i'm not listening lalalalalalalalala
This is a first time in awhile that a comments section in Slashdot has had enough spunk to cause me to spit a load of Mountain Dew all over my nice flatscreen monitor. You tools should be ashamed.
Well, now that my monitor is clean, it's time to go back to repling to the e-mail from the grammatically challenged lesbian teen to see how I can "make women gasp when pants go down".
Eastern esoteric traditions that are not requiring celibacy (such as Tantric or Daoist) have special techniques for women that teach them how to use their vaginal muscles properly.
h tml
One uses little vaginal balls to do the training, and the results are that they have not only more plesure for themselves and their men, but also have less problems during childbirth and better tonus. As the result of this training, these women can become satisfied with smaller dicks among other things.
You can find the techniques in this book: http://www.universal-tao.com/amazon/healing_love.
Tigers respect lions, elephants and hippos. Maggots respect no one. (C) S. Dovlatov
"Denver Man Sues Penis-Enlargment Firms"
..."
"The Denver Post reports that 'A California man on Thursday sued a slew of
Hell yeah it does! I hate to admit it, but I live here in California and can drive better as a 17 year old with parents who grew up in Buffalo than most of the people here. I was driving down our incredibly overcrowded high way a few days ago and we had a hard rain, I saw two unrelated accidents within a quarter mile! People here CAN NOT drive.
What they had done is set up their own business, buying the cheques off the original recipients at reduced value (eg. buy a 15 cheque for a tenner).
The geezers would turn up with a handful of cheques, all signed on the back by the real recipients, and deposit them.
It doesn't work now, as the society only accepts cheques that are account payee only.
I'm just hoping that the trial won't involve rulers at all...
Talking about suing is all very well but the man's still going to have to see if it stands up in court.
Even the ones hawking these things tell you that the average size for a human is something like 6.1 inches. And that the vast majority of humans have "only" that size.
So basically guess what? Anyone who "only" has 6 inches -- or is within, say, +/- 10% of that -- is just a perfectly normal member of the human species.
Why, in Odin's name, would anyone feel desperate and inadequate for being perfectly normal? WTH? Since when it's inadequate to _not_ be a mutant?
I mean, what next? Spam for pills to grow a 6'th finger on your hands? Or to grow an elephant trunk instead of a nose? Or to grow a giraffe neck?
The whole thing seems stupid beyond belief to me.
A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
Greeley has the best feedlots in the midwest, they have years of experience in fattening them heffers up So someone finally caught on to those guys selling the cow steroids out the back door of Monforts .. heh ... there goes my *enlargement* supply :(
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Or is that contempt of court?
----------------------------------- My Other Sig Is Hilarious -----------------------------------
I have a 1.1 Litre Citroen Saxo (small shopping cart of a car)
it takes time and dedication, but has a lot more potential (and it's free):
o fsize.com
http://www.cheekycherry.com
http://www.matters
Ah, it's twoo, it's twoo!
I received some email with "face it your penis is too small" while my partner tells me it is too big ...
..
How demotivating is that ?
Anyone has received spam to DEcrease the penis size ?
Maybe that might work
--- I am known for the ones who want to find me on the net. Is that a privacy risk or a privilege? One might wonder..
You probably don't want to use the acronym IANAL on this topic.
Just a thought.
'No rational religion claims "supernatural" exists, that's an atheist slander.' - seen on slashdot.
I've often wondered why the internet is fascinated by:
* Getting a larger penis
* Using chemical pheremones to motivate the opposite sex
* Porn
Then I remembered that the internet is was created by geeks for geeks and funded by a government that knows that large numbers bored smart people would eventually get tired of large numbers of stupid people making the rules.
-- $G
The class jock immediately said "no wonder I drive a 10-speed bicycle"...
So does this article have anything to do with Slashdot's sig today?: Small things make base men proud. -- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"
It wouldn't work nowadays, because, you can just pay the check in at an ATM machine
The whole scam relies on you having to hand the check over to a blushing cashier.
I've never shoed a horse, but I once told a donkey to piss off!
Small things make base men proud. -- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"
Fortunately...I have far too much class to tell it ;)
.
A goal is a dream with a deadline
Steve
If your penis doesn't enlarge when you rub cream on it, maybe you're buying the wrong product.
Ahh, so many penis jokes...
Guy goes to the doctor and says "Doc, my penis is small, is there anything you can do for me?"
Doc says "Go home, and every night rub butter on your penis. Come back in a month."
So the guy comes back in a month, and is very upset. "Doc! My penis didn't get any bigger, in fact it got smaller!"
"Did you rub butter on it every night?"
"Well, we didn't have butter, so I used Crisco."
"No no no! Crisco is shortening."
My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.
...I must just be naive. I see the subject and I'm like, wow, 600+ comments for THAT? What could possibly be so legally significant here as to produce 600+ comments?
So I read it. Ah! Dick jokes.
Corruptino- That's what Ken Lay drinks at Starbucks
Will the new standard become a 12" median with 10" considered small? If suddenly everone is larger than 10" then size will become a cultural oddity no different than Chinese foot binding, African tribal scarring or American breast augmentation.
In a city of 50k there is 1 accident a day because of idiot drivers. 5 students a year get hit crossing the street by inattentive drivers around a college that has just 6k kids attending. These people are IDIOTS!
in general, not just in driving, by the way.
Title says it all.
You'd see a lot of men running around with huge hands from applying the creme!
Excessive drinking is fine...in moderation.
This was obviously written by someone who had never fathered a baby before... Therefore also questioning his manhood:
A healthy baby should be 18 to 21 inches long. a 12 inch baby at 9 pounds would be grossly misshappen (Fat! and stout) and would never fit through the birth canal. It wouldn't be a baby, it'd be a round ball...
Nope, but I've heard that it's a popular drink at the Starbucks near the SCO offices and certain political buildings...
I lived in California for a long time, and I always thought the drivers were horrible when it rained. Since leaving California, I have lived in Austin, TX, Chicago, IL, New Jersey, and New York, and let me tell you, the people in California (at least in Los Angeles), drive fairly well compared to the way I've seen people drive elsewhere, including in rain and in snow. I was really surprised to find that EVERY place I've lived that had rain and snow, the people seemed to drive consistently worse than those in California when it rained. For example, in New Jersey, while it was still snowing and had just dumped a good 3-4" in a 24 hour period, I saw an SUV barrelling down an unplowed highway going about 90 while the rest of traffic was driving about 30. This is typical, at least in New Jersey, where I actually see maybe 1 wreck a week actually happen, as opposed to just driving by one.
Woo Hoo Greeley!!! My town made it on Slashdot!!
Find coupons in Greeley
Admitting that you spent $160 on penis enlargement cream shows that you are very desperate to fix your bad small dick problem. Is telling the world that you have a small dick and are willing to try anything worth getting your $160 back? You be the judge.
This reminds me of Liza Minelli's ex-husband, who is sueing Liza for spousal abuse. Imagine telling the world that you were beaten up by Liza Minelli, is that really worth $10 million. I don't think so.
- Kill Yourself, spare us all! -
In Canada we think the same thing of all Americans.. lol.. "Look out honey, that's a NY plate!!"
Mod +5 Drunk
The most credible studies done in this area have been conducted post-mortem. Everyone dies, and when you're on the coroner's slab it's not likely that you're going to object to a quick measurement.
Why is it that the proponents of "one nation under God" are so eager to get rid of "liberty and justice for all"?
I lived in suburban L.A. (Torrance to be exact) and always thought the exact opposite was true. Even toward the end of the rainy season when the gunk had been washed off the roads and people should have had enough time to adjust to it, they still did stupid stuff like hitting standing water at 80 mph (of course, maybe they slowed down to 80 because of the water).
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither safety nor liberty.
Ben
I thought that's why you put notches on the headboard of your bed.
Why is it that the proponents of "one nation under God" are so eager to get rid of "liberty and justice for all"?
> those bruises?
New excuse? What, you needed a previous excuse for having bruises on yer wang?
Hey, I've seen lots of well-endowed women give hummers. It's not just the ugly chicks, honestly. You can get hot ones to do it too.
Usually you have to go down on them first though.
http://www.phallosan.com/
http://penisplus.com/
Besides "liberal" tax and spend attitudes, most Califorians don't have the slightest idea of how to drive in ice and snow. This seems to be as much a part of Coloradans taking a dislike to Californians as anything. Thus, saying we are "from" the midwest seems to disarm some of the hostility we might otherwise encounter.
I moved from California to upper Michigan years back.
On the third day, I was pulled over by a police officer. My crime? Radar said I was going 3 miles an hour over the speed limit. The officer said 'We don't drive like that around here son'.
Needless to say, I got my licence plate changed to a Michigan one ASAP.
It could have been worse though. If I hadn't been driving an American car, I might have ended up getting beaten with a baton + the speeding ticket!
This is not a dream, not a dream...we are transmitting from the year 1-9-9-9.
I think they sent the wrong stuff and his breasts started to grow.
Enzyte's even sponsoring a NASCAR car.
Is someone's going to sue the penis pill people, it would seem Enzyte's wearing a flashing red "sue me" sign.
Start a happiness pandemic
You don't want to know how much snow is on the ground right now in upstate New York. Guaranteed, you'd get tired of driving in it, too.
Republicans are idiots.
and don't forget that the tip gives little pleasure (to her). . . . .
whereas an upwards base-pressure to da' little-man produces a great deal (for her). .
although it sure is hard to sustain that curved motion!
.
(David Bowman, EVA near HUGE Monolithic Win-PC in orbit around Jupiter) "My God - its full of Malware!"
In any event: I think that, for most people, the size of the organ isn't anywhere near a important as how we get treated the other 23 hours of the day.
That having been said, I can easily understand why people are loathe to sue these people, because they'd have to not only publicly admit, but publicly claim that:
- They think that their penis is too small.
- they paid more than a hundred dollars to get it bigger
- their penis is still too small
And, of course, these have to be people who care enough about their organ size to spend the money on enlargers.And worse than all that, they'd have to admit that they bought something from a spammer.
Sometimes boldness is in fashion. Sometimes only the brave will be bold.
It should also be noted that the above statistics were researched by a penis enlargement company.
Sometimes boldness is in fashion. Sometimes only the brave will be bold.
Hey Now! Americans think like that too when they see a NY plate!
Why worry? Each of us is wearing an unlicensed "nucular" accelerator on his back.
Sig changed for readability by G.W.
Some guy goes into a public restroom to drain the lizard, so to speak. He notices a leprechaun taking a piss in the urinal beside him.
When finished, the leprechaun tried to zip up his fly as quickly as he could, but the man caught sight of his enormous penis. "Wow," says the man, "are all leprechauns as well hung as you?"
Sighing, the leprechaun replies 'aye, that we are. And seeing as how ye saw me Blarney Stone, so to speak, I'm now obligated ta give ye three wishes."
The man says 'Wow, really?' 'Aye,' comes the response, 'it's part of the curse of having such an enormous member.' "Wow. Well, I guess I'd like the be the richest man in the world.' 'Done; check yer bank account when ye get home.' 'And I'd like to have a beautiful and sexy and great wife, my perfect soul mate, who will love me for ever.' 'Done; she's at yer home makin dinner.' 'And I'd like to have a penis as big as yours.'
The leprechaun sighs again. "Well, laddie, thats the problem, then. I can certainly bless ye that way, but in order to do so, I have to take you from behind." "Really? With that big thing? Well, I guess it'll be worth it..." And with that, he grasped the pipes of the urinals, gritted his teeth, and took it from behind."
As the leprechaun finished, he said 'Tell me, boyo, how old are ye?' '25, why?' 'Aren't ye a bit old, then, ta be believein' in leprechauns?'
Vintage computer games and RPG books available. Email me if you're interested.
The advertisements don't set a minimum length in order for them to work. It doesn't say for example that their product does not work on anything over 8inchs. So some reasonably hung dude, say 10 inchs, could go out get the pills because he wants to be 13 inchs and then sue cause it didn't work. Not only does he get a shit load of money but he gets to be known as that dude with the 11 inch thing. A rich man with a court verified long shlong he'll never be lonely again.
If you can't fix it ask the 3 year old down the street.