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Review: Juvenile Felis Catus
MBCook writes "Looking for something new? Well Dan's Data has a review of something called a "Juvenile Felis Catus" (or "kitten" for short). The review goes over everything from how to aquire one, to required maintence, to storage, to a comparison against other ways of spending your money (kitten vs. puppy vs. baby vs. new video card). The article is full of useful and informative links such as your average kitten's standard configuration. A well reasoned and interesting review."
-- Data
(sorry, it was the first thing that came into my mind when I saw a review of "felis catus" on a page called "Dan's Data")
I had but a simple dream, to destroy all humans.
What, a Pets: section now?
/. gets into Politics by adding that new section. Now this.
First
What's next, RealEstate: ???
No contest, I can always trade in the video card
Ahh.. so "How many cats crazy are you?" We are only one cat crazy. Most programmers I know are at least 2-3 cats crazy. How many cats crazy are you?
meh
An alternative to carrying the cat in a bag: LAN Gear for kittens ;)
This review is well over a year old.
We do all realize that this is WAY out of date? This page has been up since April 1st. 2003.
I have one, too. But if you browse the somethingawful forums, (paid reg required) or any other message board frequented by geeks, probably 40% of them have some reference to their cat, either as their avatar pic, or somewhere in their .sig. Sheesh.
Won't you risk damaging the cat's eyesight by aiming laser pointers at it - I'm serious ?
This review was up in April of 2003... not quite what I would consider new.
However, Dan's Data rocks so I guess this is okay.
That is, if you leave me alone with a cat long enough, you'll have zero cats.
AccountKiller
All you need to know has long been at: Bonsai Kitten!
I fear looking at the link just in case there is something about the notorious kitten modding community I keep hearing about. If you mod your kitten, don't you violate the warranty?
'
These are breasts; this is source code.
Why do you have a problem with those two things belonging to one person?
Ha ha! I have both, and to prove it, I can show you a cooling fan and a patch of white cat fur with an odd grill shape on it.
after reading the summary:
Hello? Tech support? Yeah, I've got one of your "Felis Catus", juvenile models... it seems to be expelling large amounts of hair-like spheres... yes, it does go into self-cleaning mode rather often... yes, it has been eating solid foods, rather than moist... yes, it's been drinking water, rather than milk... oh. Reboot? I'll try... *kick*MEOW!*
"If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living."
- Seneca
Ok, so I just woke up and without even bothering to put my glasses on, I opened up Slashdot and saw "Juvenile Fells Cactus" and thought, "Whaaaa?" and I took a second look and still saw the same thing, so I read the blurb and about halfway through realized it wasn't a cactus its talking about. I should probably go back to bed.
KITTEN IS NOT RACK-MOUNTABLE
Just a word of advice from someone who's "been there".
If you have decided to take the plunge by getting a cat of your own, you'll eventually find yourself bored with it. Here's an interesting activity you might want to try to pass the time with you and your kitty.
The standard jokes apply here, but not well.
Can you run linux on it?
Imagine a beowulf cluster of these...
In Soviet Russia, cat posts year-old review of you.
What this needs is a new meme.
Can you start a new Man-Kzin War with one???
(Can also apply to pretty much any space technology or any technology that could be adapted to weaponry with difficulty. Especially applies to any laser-based communications system.)
It should be further noted that I forgot to include a subject and got the "Cat got your tongue" error message. Heh.
Did you know that only about 1% of the housecats in the world are pure breed?
Most cats (99%) are mixtures of several breeds.
Get your Unix fortune now!
I know there's one way to make a cat your instant friend: feed the fucker tuna. It's like a drug to them. Plus the cat gets nice and muscular too.
being geeks, and probably mostly males, we could
use this kind of information on aquisition and maintenance of a girl friend [though I hear the cost is in a whole other league from kittens]
The comparison table at the end is the funniest thing I've seen all week. Without a doubt.
preferably on live subjects
I don't mind slashdot posting articles on politics but it would be nice if it were more balanced....if slashdot is going to bash Kitty supporters then why don't they bash puppy supporters as well.
I should qualify this....i do appretiate slashdot's choice giving exposure to third party pets.
ok i can't go on any longer....i for one welcome out new fluffy faced overlords and in soviet russia our kittens own us.
stendec@gmail.com
If you're going to post year-old articles, please don't include "looking for something new?" as the catchline. Its pretty amusing, but it makes you look silly.
Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history.
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Cats are not compatible with optical mice.
http://www.commaecho.com
http://www.rathergood.com/independent_woman/
(Flash required)
One of my favorite sites !
"Kittens give Morbo gas."
I have a 19 year old Felis Catus and good God! That cat can lay a turd which would put a great Dane to shame! And the stench will drive you outta the house! Course he only does that when hes done vomiting over everything in the house!
AHHHHHHHH!
"Desex?" Is that a politically correct euphemism for "cut their balls off?"
we don't cover insane cat people enough on slashdot.
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
No need for unreliable amatuer modding, when you can but them pre-modded from these guys.
To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt.
--E.C. Stanton
If you can't be bothered to care for a cat, don't get one, please. Cats should not be allowed outside to kill the local wildlife, get and spread disease, and be injured/killed/tortured by local dahmer-to-be's. Indoor cats live longer, healthier lives, and assuming you give them a toy or two, do not need the outdoors for entertainment/exercise.
1. In toilet, combine one cat, one tablespoon pet shampoo.
2. Close lid. Sit down.
3. Flush.
4. Field calls from curious/concerned neighbors.
5. ????
6. Profit!
Keyboard error... Press F1 to resume.
this is slashdot - tell us about the Small Form Factor edition.
http://catb.org/~esr/jargon/html/miscellaneous.htm l
"A great democracy must be progressive or it will soon cease to be a great democracy." --Theodore Roosevelt
I actually just bought myself a kitten about 6 weeks ago. The place is a mess, my keyboard has even -more- fur in it (aside from my own shedding) and my mouse routinely is found hanging off the edge of my desk when I arrive in the morning (I have a home-office).
8 .j pg
:-D
This kitten was highly incompatible with the already installed old-blind-dog system. It took over a month of food and luck to get the two systems to cooperate without causing general-insanity faults with the owners.
Despite all that I could never take it back. I tried to take the cat back 24 hours after I bought it but I got about 2km down the road before everything was too blurry from the sudden onrush of water obscuring my vision.
http://pldaniels.com/photos/2004092001/mpic0000
These things are dangerously addictive
How can no one have mentioned cat typing. I have four of these units and I have to store my keyboard in a vertical position.
Cat hair gets everywhere.
Cats take no training. Puppies have to be trained.
Cats who can be taken for a walk are rare. Cats also don't do well on car trips. My big guy used to sit on my wife's shoulder and threaten to get seasick.
Cats and puppies both want and provide companionship. This is their best feature.
Cats and puppies both gnaw cables.
Even when he is being friendly, a cat can leave puncture wounds.
We also have one badly outnumbered and out sized pomeranian. We wouldn't part with any of them.
I don't know if the reviewer got a different version of kitten than I did, but my kitten could stink up the house like a fat man just back from a chili cookoff.
He forgot to cover overclocking with catnip :-)
I expect a cease and desist letter shortly, thanks to this slashdotting. By simply looking up this patent he would have known to keep the cat in the box!
The question of course is whether a kitten is a derivative cat work, or if having a kitten gives this guy prior art...
If thou see a fair woman pay court to her, for thus thou wilt obtain love
Dog (Doberman) and cat did had existing interoperability issues. Dog has impressive firewall capabilities. Baby 1.0 comes along, hogs processes and causes Wife 1.0 to segfault and core dump at regular intervals. This caused cat to receive little processor time and eventually cat was mv'd to another directory. Rumor has it that Dog and firearm-type firewalls are incompatible with later versions of Child 1.0. Hopefully this will not cause Wife 1.0 to uninstall...
I'll vote for this feline friend!!!
THIS THING CAN TURN ON A DIME, MACROSSZERO STYLE ALSO FUCK BETA, ~NYORON
I wonder how good of a seller the Juvenile felis catus is at AUS PC market???
[translated from /bot-ese for our english speaking readers]
"marriage sucks, I'm glad I live in mom's basement where I can jack off to all the japanese scat-porn I can find. Real women scare me because I know that my 1-inch pecker can't possibly be noticed, much less satisfy a healthy adult woman."
They expand to fill all available space.
"Cat technology hasn't really changed a lot in the last year."
Tomorrow's review of women will correct the imbalance.
Did you try to push the reset button.
What would happen if you tied a piece of toast butter side up to back of a kitten and dropped it?
I would have to say that this story meets none of the above slogans.
/. has somthing interesting.
What's next? The Martha Stewart section on how to bake brownies in your PC case? Jezzzzz!
Wake me when
Phear The Phat Penguin
While I found the "Felis Catus" section on Dan's Data very entertaining, this hardly qualifies as *NEWS.* Heck, it was *exactly* a year ago when I read that page.
...cuz it's the only pussy he'll see.
Mark
nevermind the purebreds, I prefer the crossover ones!
Who can't appreciate a few good recipes?
http://www.ooze.com/ooze13/cats.html
ROWWWR!
You are not root, go away.
"I know there's one way to make a cat your instant friend: feed the fucker tuna. It's like a drug to them. Plus the cat gets nice and muscular too."
I feed mine the neighbourhood dogs.
Sometimes felix is substituted for felix, but this draws protests.
felis silvestris sounds like it can't decide which cartoon it is in.
Is this like the brontosaurus/apotosaurous business?
my god, humans are strange creatures.
Take care young ladies and value your wine
Be watchful of young men in their velvet prime
Deeply they'll swallow from your finest kegs
And swiftly be gone, leaving bitter dregs
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Bitter dregs
- The USA prepares to invade Iraq
- AMD is rumoured to be working on a 64-bit chip that runs x86 code
- Microsoft releases Windows 3.1
- Hitler invades Poland
- Columbus bumps into new continent while looking for India
- Giant comet hits the Earth and causes mass extinction
... with HOWTOs, trubleshooting and changelogs, and, um ... hardware upgrades!
The Raven
Figures that people online at 9PM on a Friday are looking for a little pussy!
Dude, quit being so defensive. Just because you're married doesn't mean you have to inflict your bad mood on everybody else. (And the tongue matters more than the pecker anyway.)
If not, mod the post as Flamebait -1.
Yeah, funny how the review said Cats don't smell bad. Maybe they don't, but the houses they live in do, no matter how often you clean the litterbox.
Aren't they completely expendible? Don't get me wrong, I like cats, but they're, well, cats, not people.
I can't resist, I just love this picture so much.
We have two cats, Felix and Oscar. Yes, they live up to their names perfectly.
dude, that's some uuuuuuuuuuuuggglly furniture.
Those plaid chairs gotta go, man.
"What's strange, is the cats outcomes has been reflective of the state of their namesakes." ..."Name your pets wisely!"
I've named mine "fanbelt". Should I be worried?
Speaking as someone who lives with a cat, please, oh please, take my advise and DON'T DO IT!
First, they act all cute until you fall madly for the blasted thing. Then, it's all over for you. The cat will run your house with a iron paw. You think that computer keyboard is for YOUR use? Guess again - it's real purpose is for the cat to walk on.
You think you can sit down and read a book? Guess again - the real purpose of the book is for the cat to lay on.
Avoid my fate! Get the graphics card!
1) Power management via catnip. Use just a little of the stuff, and you will bring your kitten into a low power suspend mode. Heat dissipation won't change much, though.
2) Compatibility. Kittens are initially incompatible with additional kittens, resulting in cowering, hissing, and the occasional scratch. This will normally go away, and lead to mutual cooperation, with two kittens working together being far more destructive than two kittens working individually.
Raptor
"Procrastination is great. It gives me a lot more time to do things that I'm never going to do."
I used to have rats, which make decent pets, very smart and loyal, but many people dislike the tails and they aren't all that cuddly (though they can ride on your shoulder). Sometime after my last rat went to rodent heaven, I've gotten myself a cute little dwarf bunny. She's less independant than a cat, can be kept in a bunny case (but it's better to litter train her), and is getting used to travelling (recommend that you let her sit on your lap because they slide around the cage otherwise).
In short, bunny is more friendly than your average cat, and happily sits on one's lap during computing sessions. However, I would recommend caution in letting one near cords, as from what I've heard they tend to look like bunny-treats to a hungry rabbit.
Aren't they completely expendible? Don't get me wrong, I like computers, but they're, well, computers, not people. ...
Oh, yeah, we -definitely- shouldn't spend money on -anything other than people-... only people should be bought and sold. wtf?
Aha, what good timing. I just found my very own kitten mewing outside my window, couldn't have been more than a month old. Unfortunately, my lease doesn't let me keep animals, so I gave it up to the animal rescue league. I think it's still available. If you're in the Worcester MA area, email me at kitten AT waymouth DOT org to adopt it (free).
obCutePictures
More journal entries please.
The stuff is out there.
All you need to do is create the space. We will fill it. That's what geeks are for.
Eh.
Some cat breeders are and some are not. I did research it as you suggested and found a whole list of cat be damned for profit cat breeders at
http://www.pedigree-cbs.org/at.html
The following appears there:
Saturday (06-07-2002) 7:30 pm I decide to give Adrian a call and ask for a refund. Upon reaching him on his mobile, I said, Adrian, your cat is sick when I brought her and I wish to make a refund. At this, he starts with a bunch of excuses and then when I stress the refund request. He promptly changes his tone and says, I dont like to talk about this, and I dont want to talk to you, go and make a case! At this he hangs up. I am sure by now you are quite clear about what has happen here. As a cat breeder, I find him to be very irresponsible in caring of the cats. When I brought the cat, she was caged together with 3 other cats. As far as I know, cat flu is contagious to other feline and so is the ringworm fungus. Cat flu if left untreated can lead to death in cats. It seems that the well being of the cats is not important to him and his idea is to sell the cat quickly and make a profit. With regards to the following up, he claims that he is very concern with the cat new home and I have never received any phone call from him enquiring about the cat. If he is as good as he claims, Im sure he know that the cat is sick and have flu. To think of it, no wonder he keep saying that cats can be stressful in a new environment and may catch flu. As a businessman, I find him to be very unethical. He knowingly sold off a sick cat infected with ringworm (which can be spread to human!) and down with cat flu. But I must also add that he is a very good with words as he made me believe that it is normal. He is very unscrupulous, as he knows that once I exceed the 24 hours, I cant return the cat to him. Therefore, he told me to call him first and not go to the Vet first until I speak to him. If he does not know that his cat is sick, then I strongly suggest that he dont sell cats. Another Pet shop in Frankel Ave, which I went to, warned me which animal is sick and will refuse to sell them. Bottom line, if you are a breeder, I shall warn you of his method of business. If you are a potential customer, beware. The only person in my opinion who should purchase any animal from him is Vets or pet experts as he is very good with words. If you are from any agency, I would strongly suggest that you make a check at his farm and ensure that he does not start off any epidemic with his method of selling sick animals. Every time, I have an itch,
I would wonder if its the ringworm. It is a very cruel act that he neglects the animal well being by leaving the cat sick. It is very irresponsible that he did not quarantine the sick cat and left her with other cats. If I am an irresponsible owner, I would have thrown the sick cat out of the house, and cause more strays and help spread diseases. It is very rude of him as a person to hang up the phone. He does not strike me as someone that can take care of a business and let alone the animals at his farm.
I love cats. With salt. And if you sew the furs together it makes a nice rug.
Imagine a beowolf cluster of these.
Is a cat with the one-blue-eye allele or whatever, also going to be deaf?
I put a couple of unopened capsules in my cat's refillable catnip mouse and that thing now gets a lot more play than it used to. I'd suggest being careful not to let them OD though. It is technically a drug and if that's not enough, a valerian spill in your house could result in you having to move out (It smells that bad, seriously.)
As an added benefit a couple of capsules of the stuff before bed will help you get to sleep a lot more gently than Nyquil will.
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
This has been done before. Google for one of the many copies of the "Cat User's Manual". I like the original better, actually.
Having opened several of this article's links in tabs, I suddenly noticed that my tab bar was peppered with tabs proudly displaying:
"Cat Fanciers' Ass..."
Something about the short "A" sound in all three of those words still has me cracking up. Perhaps it's related to Goatse?
... and someone feels the need to post it to slashdot.
Mickey (the kitten in question) is now a good looking, well-grown cat.
Amusingly, though.. despite many Slashdotters having already seen this review, one of the review pages for a cat breed to which it links has been slashdotted !
Have we seen second-level slashdotting before? Normally its just the page we link to that goes under.
I have been a user for about 10 years. This ends Feb 2014. The site's been ruined. I'm off. Dice, FU
Don't get the laser ANYWHERE NEAR the cat's eyes.
I've found they'll go for any light that moves, including sunlight reflected off a watch face, torch beam, etc. These alternatives are probably better for the little poppet anyway.
Our cats go mad for the mouse pointer on the laptop screen. Steer the pointer off-screen and they'll take a peek round the back of the LCD panel to see where it went!
no comment
Shouldn't that be Felix Domesticus?
I noticed that although the review site survived the Slashdot effect intact. The link to the low-bandwidth Geocities site about the breed that eat's small dogs is deader than a dead thing.
I for one look welcome our new soviet kitten masters.
Soviet Kitten Masters? Here they are!
(Don't actually know what this sounds like; I haven't got the soundcard set up, unfortunately).
"Slashdot - News and Chat Sites Deviant". (Click "homepage" link above for details).
"grill shape"
Other types of tasty grill that might be worth a try include:
I got this popup, apparently from going to the patent link:
0 1
http://www.delphion.com/assets/homepage_unk4_pop?
This is the very first popup I've seen in about two months of surfing with Firefox:
Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Win98; en-US; rv:1.7) Gecko/20040707 Firefox/0.9.2
Okay, just to make this on topic:
http://mindspring.com/~benbradley/grat_cat.jpg
Tag lost or not installed.
How strange that I just got a new cat and now there's a slashdot article about cats. The universe is telling me something, I swear. The only problem so far is that I have absolutely no idea what to name the new kitty...So i've taken to calling her "hey you" for the time being. I hope that one doesn't stick as a name. How embarassing, all the other cats will pick on her in school.
Try actually thinking for yourself. It's quite refreshing.
So will we see any future articles that will show us how we may mod our newly acquired kitty cat? Over-furrying techniques? Super-chilled kitty cats? Neon-lights attachments?
I love it when the cat has been outside eating cockroaches all night and then it comes inside to present you with a cockroach-leg laden hairball at the breakfast table.
In Soviet Russia cats aquire you.
-
- - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.
Cats need taurine, which tuna does not provide them. Taurine deficiency causes nasty diseases and eventually death.
My first thought on reading this was.... "Taurine; isn't that the stuff they put in Red Bull?"
However, anyone willing to feed Red Bull to a cat is obviously braver than me; I don't know about the effects of the taurine itself, but I doubt a hyper-caffeinated moggy would be pleasant to live with. YMMV.
"Slashdot - News and Chat Sites Deviant". (Click "homepage" link above for details).
I have a powerbook that uses the Plasma Tunnel Screensaver. It's an OpenGL tunnel...that never ends. It's swirls, changes color, moves this way and that...
;)
Anyway, my fiancee at the time (now wife) brough her cat into the relationship before we got our second one, and her cat hates me. Well, one day I left my Powerbook on the floor and forgot about it. We left the house, came back to find the cat staring VERY intently at the laptop screen. Ducking, dodging, moving forward, moving backward...
She was trying to see where the tunnel went! Holy cow I about died. I've since set it up on my iMac as well. It's hilarious. One of these days she'll find out what's at the other end.
Karma: Chameleon (mostly due to the fact that you come and go).
Want some more useless html on kittens ?!? Check this out. Very funny :D
Hey,
I think generally, guys don't like cats as much as girls. But I think among the male computer geeks, there is a higher percentage of guys who like cats than the general male population.
What do you guys think? Why do you think this is?
That is the stupidest thing I have read on
So, MBCook, just how did you happen to come across this little gem then?
And remember kids: Never trust a computer you can actually lift.
Many years ago, I used to play in a White Wolf game with a Bastet character. I used to take a different 'toy' every session for my character to play with. One week I took a oil/water bubble toy along (like a sand timer in reverse with a mill wheel in the centre).
I had been sitting watching for some time, and went to turn it over when I noticed the household cat sitting opposite me also intently watching the bubbles rise trough the toy.
Sara
Designer, Gamer, Macgrrl in an XP World
I find that just plain irresponsible ... it is YOUR cat going into someone else's backyard and messing with stuff. How would you feel if I came over to your backyard and purposefully killed all the fish in your pond or crapped in your kids' sandbox? You'd probably be pissed as hell, and rightfully so. So own up and take some responsibility for what your property does to someone else's backyard ... I (or anyone else) shouldn't have to clean up after your (or anyone else's) cat/dog/whatever.
FWIW, I'm not the AC posting everywhere else in this thread, but I just find it ludicrous that you think it's somehow MY responsibility to keep tabs on YOUR cat.
topreacher@signature.slashdot.org 1% rm -rf sig