Slashdot Mirror


Piimpin' Out Your Corporate Office?

ignoringReality asks: "I just moved into a new office at work that is considerably smaller than my previous one. The furniture is crappy, the walls are plain, and there aren't any windows. I'm trying to think of a unique way to keep myself entertained but not distracted day in and day out. It's a corporate office, so there are obviously limits. Working in a box must be a pretty standard situation for a lot of Slashdot readers, so how do you guys personalize your offices?"

133 comments

  1. Obvious: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I use OpenOffice.

    1. Re:Obvious: by isorox · · Score: 2, Funny

      We use Open Plan Office

  2. Lighting by Leroy_Brown242 · · Score: 3, Informative

    For myself, when I had a converted closet for an office, the most important thing for me was good lighting. I kept it darker than most people liked it, but it was warm and gentle lighting.

    I've seen a lot of people hang what look like drapes from thier walls, to give some solour and texture to the room.

    Don't forget the music, and toys.

    1. Re:Lighting by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You're getting "Trolls" but I am, right this moment, in my converted-closet office.

    2. Re:Lighting by Leroy_Brown242 · · Score: 1

      yeah, I think people think I was trying to be funny. But really, it's a fact. I was in a 10x10 converted closet.

      I was recently moved into a conference room we've filled with geeks though. Slightly better, but now I have to use headphones and smell other geeks. :)

    3. Re:Lighting by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Sorry dude, I guess you're a troll because you don't have a cubicle or a corner office.

    4. Re:Lighting by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You're a troll cos of that spam in your fucking signature, ASSHOLE!

    5. Re:Lighting by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      Note that this is a converted storage closet, not a coat closet, probably 12x20 feet.

      Anyway, at least I'm not in a cubicle with you losers.

    6. Re:Lighting by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      I agree that lighting is the most important thing. I just moved into a small office and that's the first thing I bought. I got a three bulb standing lamp for under $20. I put in two 100W equivalent compact fluorescents and a bubble light in the bottom socket.

      Oh, BTW, I think alderflats.com sucks donkey nuts anyone else agree?

    7. Re:Lighting by eht · · Score: 1

      My last office was like that, 8x9 closest they put a door on and a desk in, the lighting was controlled by a switch out in our lab area, I had to remove the bulbs from their sockets because it was too bright in there.

    8. Re:Lighting by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Oh yeah, alderflats.com blows chunks.

    9. Re:Lighting by ScottSpeaks! · · Score: 2, Interesting
      My first job out of college I spent the summer in a cubicle that had previously been one of the execs' storage space... basically a closet. I didn't even get a waste paper basket.

      The last place I worked had everyone in wall-n-doors offices (which was generally a horridly antisocial environment, IMHO) and there were a few people who'd taken the "living room" approach, with warm incandescent lamps, etc. I found those rooms almost dreary, though; in my office I turned on every fluorescent light I was entitled to. The fact that these were windowless cells, and I crave daylight was part of the reason.

      As for personalising one's office... the key word fragment there is personal. I've got Capt. Picard and Superboy action figures, a Macquarium SE (with my fish Point and Click), a miniposter of Michelangelo's David (i.e. it's art not porn), a print of a Frazetta painting of John Carter in a loincloth (i.e. it's pop art not porn), a calendar of Alex Ross watercolors, a sketchpad for taking breaks, an old "I'm not gay but my boyfriend is" tea mug, photos of my nieces and nephew.... because all that's me.

    10. Re:Lighting by dougmc · · Score: 1
      For myself, when I had a converted closet for an office, the most important thing for me was good lighting.
      Back before our company moved us all into cubes (grrrr), I had Christmas lights lighting my office. They last perhaps three months before they start burning out (and at $1/100 or so, it's often easier to just replace the whole strand than find out which one burned out) so you want to buy quite a lot right after Christmas, but they definately do make a nice light for the office when you want it dim but not pitch black.
    11. Re:Lighting by X0563511 · · Score: 0, Flamebait

      Hey asshole. Ever think it may be HIS FUCKING SITE HE'S ADVERTISING?

      I see nothing wrong with advertising you're own website/buisiness.

      --
      For large sets, this will be our guide even unto death, for the LORD will work for each type of data it is applied to...
  3. if you can afford it.... by jeffy124 · · Score: 4, Informative

    the Dilbert Ultimate Cubicle

    Complete with lighting that simulates the sun moving across the sky as the day goes along.

    --
    The One Rule Of Chess You'll Ever Need: Don't play someone who carries a kit in their bookbag.
    1. Re:if you can afford it.... by Leroy_Brown242 · · Score: 1

      Wow, I'd never seen that before.

      I wonder if I can seel my boss on that . . .

    2. Re:if you can afford it.... by Kick+the+Donkey · · Score: 1

      Man.... Please tell me they're really going to ship those... I'd love to have one. although, I wouldn't need the Sun thing. I've got a window seat. Looks out over the Georgia Tech stadium...

      --
      /. is a bunch of nerds at a million typewriters. It's not a political conspiracy determined to undermine your beliefs.
    3. Re:if you can afford it.... by ScottSpeaks! · · Score: 1
      I wouldn't need the Sun thing. I've got a window seat. Looks out over the Georgia Tech stadium...

      I used to work for a college, and managed to finagle things such that my desk faced a window with a good view of one of the main pedestrian routes from one section of campus to another. This ensured that once an hour I'd take my eyes off my monitor and "rest" them on the parade of students commuting between classes. I especially enjoyed the shorts-wearing seasons. {wistful sigh}

  4. hot lava by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

    How about a lava lamp?

  5. pornography by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    in plain view.

    gets everybodys pulse going.

  6. Two words... by J-Doggqx · · Score: 4, Informative
    Think Geek

    (Especially the cube goodies section. My co-workers love the Acrobots

    --
    END OF LINE
    1. Re:Two words... by drdink · · Score: 1, Informative

      Overpriced. RIpoff.

      --
      Beware, Nugget is watching... See?
    2. Re:Two words... by WebCrapper · · Score: 1

      Best laugh I've had all weekend (sorry for those that don't get a 3 day)... Thinking of getting my dad some of these for his cube!

  7. I hate Tyco by dauthur · · Score: 1, Funny

    Move absolutely all of the furniture out of the room, and replace it with Lego furniture. That'll keep you busy for a fortnight or two.

  8. Re:Here's a novel concept by Leroy_Brown242 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Whoa horse!

    That's only for emergencies!

  9. Er.. what? by OmgTEHMATRICKS · · Score: 0, Funny

    Piimping?

    Homie: Yo, dogg, check out my new wheels!
    Dogg: Wow, homie, dats tite. You totally piimped it out.
    Homie: Now it'll go 3.14159265 miles per hour faster on average!

    1. Re:Er.. what? by Bootle · · Score: 1
      anybody who mods this anything but FUNNY should be shot...

  10. Re:Here's a novel concept by pclminion · · Score: 3, Insightful
    How about doing the damn job your employer is paying you for? Is that far out or what?

    Some people have a hard time doing work if their environment sucks. Thus the fixation on ergonomics. Think of cube decorations as "mental ergonomics" if you want.

  11. Only one place to go for that by KingBahamut · · Score: 0, Redundant

    http://www.thinkgeek.com

    Best way to pimp your office with all the nessecaries, I just had to do it myself here recently.

    --
    "God of Rock, thank you for this chance to kick ass. "
  12. Obligatory /. Reply by orkysoft · · Score: 3, Funny
    The furniture is crappy, the walls are plain, and there aren't any windows.
    So what are you complaining about?
    --

    I suffer from attention surplus disorder.
  13. Well, look out by hey! · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Nothing says status like space. The fact that you're in a smaller space is not a good sign.

    That said, if we're talking an actual office with a door, the you're lucky. For now.

    My suggestion is that you decorate your space with -- space. Keep it uncluttered, so that you appear to have more room. It also sends the subtle message that you're not making yourself too much at home, that you plan to move up or out.

    I should make it clear I don't follow this advice myself. If you are a happy geek with no ambition to move up (like me), feel free to ignore this advice (as I do).

    --
    Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
    1. Re:Well, look out by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

      Keep it uncluttered, so that you appear to have more room.

      That is a ticket for getting a roommate.

    2. Re:Well, look out by deanj · · Score: 1

      "That is a ticket for getting a roommate."

      You got that right. My first task on getting a new office is making sure that all the stuff I have fills it up as much as possible. Other than a cubicle or no walls at all, there's about nothing worse than having a office mate.

    3. Re:Well, look out by ragingtory · · Score: 1

      Space = power... unless you work in the White House and you must be within 100' of the Oval Office...

  14. light by beegle · · Score: 2, Interesting
    My only decorations are some reference docs that I refer to often enough that I stuck 'em to the walls and craploads of light. In addition to the pitiful office lighting, I have three 100 watt-equivalent "full-spectrum" (I hate that terminology. The blue-ish ones.) bulbs. Two compact fluorescents (different brands) and one incandescent.

    A few people have commented on how spartan my office looks. The thing is, I don't look up often. I don't -care- what's on the walls around me. What I -do- care about is light. Our whole building is Too Damned Dark®, so I often end up with other light-junkies on my office because they "like how bright and happy" my bare-walled office is.

    I've tried to convince people that ergonomics extends beyond "chairs that don't suck" and "goofy keyboards", but it's a hard sell, particularly when your managers include a lot of the "We had VT-52s and we liked it!" crowd.

    --
    --
    1. Re:light by Gavin+Miller · · Score: 1

      http://store.yahoo.com/jimcds/neonposters.html

      Ive been wanting one of those for a while...

  15. Well Decorated Cube by kmahan · · Score: 1

    The cubicle in the Capital One commercial featuring David Spade ("1001 Ways to Say No") is pretty well decked out. I'm betting that it wouldn't go over very well with upper management though. The video for the commercial is here: http://www.advertisementave.com/tv/ad.asp?adid=573 /

    --
    Invalid Checksum. Retrying.
    1. Re:Well Decorated Cube by kmahan · · Score: 2, Informative

      Thanks for the added trailing slash.

      The correct URL is:

      http://www.advertisementave.com/tv/ad.asp?adid=573
      http://www.advertisementave.com/tv/ad.asp?adid=5 73

      --
      Invalid Checksum. Retrying.
    2. Re:Well Decorated Cube by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      The cubicle in the [vampiric financial corporation] commercial featuring David Spade ("1001 Ways to Say No") is pretty well decked out.

      In that case, give me just a clean metal desk, a phone, and and plain desk calendar. If anyone ever finds me emulating a David Spade character in any way, I want them to shoot me in the head, immediately. Thrice. I do not want to ever be that irritating, and I don't want to attract the kind of people who find that kind of moronic "humor" funny.

  16. personalize?!? by kendoka · · Score: 4, Funny

    What are you talking about? We're just a bunch of soulless drones anyway. I'm going to decorate my office with the barcode my manufacturer gave me as I was being assembled in the plant.

  17. Re:Here's a novel concept by erikharrison · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Did you miss the part where he said "not distracted".

    Here is a game you can play. Find and empty white room, with a single empty desk and an uncomfortable chair. Take your laptop, and try to get some work done there.

    Your brain will look for anything to ramp up the level of stimulus. And that doesn't mean your work. It means stuff like feeling compelled to spend three hours customizing the font and colors on your laptop screen. Or checking your email every thirty seconds.

    Is it a crime to, say, play music while you work? This guy is just looking for the equivalent. Happy employees are better employees.

    Oh - wait a sec. Do you work for EA?

  18. On this episode of "Pimp My Cube" by doorbender · · Score: 2, Funny

    Picard turns out the borg queen to make some money for new "Quad"litium crystals

    --
    "He's a real midnight golfer"
  19. Forget you guys. by Neck_of_the_Woods · · Score: 4, Funny


    I have one word for you:

    Strippers.

    --
    Neck_of_the_Woods
    #/usr/local/surf/glassy/overhead
    1. Re:Forget you guys. by mckwant · · Score: 2, Funny

      and booze! In fact, forget about the office...

      --
      ceci n'est pas un sig.
    2. Re:Forget you guys. by dJCL · · Score: 0, Redundant

      You kidding? Booze is part of the office!

      The beer is chilling in the fridge and when the clock hits 5-0 it's not unknown for people to crack open a cold one.

      Then there was the client we were at the other month on an install - beer, ontap at a 50 foot bar, 24/7

      If they were out of beer, this was an emergency and the CEO made sure it was taken care of immediatly.

      Strangly enough, this place also had some of the coolest cubes I'd seen in a while: the hawaii cube, the DJ cube(tonne's of music) etc...

      Anyway...

      --
      On Arrakis: early worm gets the bird. Magister mundi sum!
  20. I truly don't understand the question by dmorin · · Score: 2, Informative
    What exactly is "entertained but not distracted"? Seriously, I'm asking.

    I've got pictures of my family pinned to my cube walls (on the one wall that allows things to be pinned to it :-/). On the file cabinet behind me I have 6 framed pictures, but rarely do I turn around to look at them.

    I have juggling balls, which I pretty much never touch.

    One statue of Buddha. Green.

    Framed picture of the Red Sox beating the Yankees.

    I have an iPod which I listen to on the commute in, and carry up to the desk, but it usually sits there and I dont put my headphones on. Probably because I tend to listen to podcasts rather than music, and find those distracting when trying to work.

    And so on. It gives me stuff to look at when I take my eyes off the monitor, but it's not really there for entertainment. Nor is it distracting. It's decoration. I don't think that's what you were asking for, though. You want toys.

  21. Less is better by girth · · Score: 4, Insightful

    The less stuff you have, the less crap you have to carry to the next job.

  22. Common reply: by duggy_92127 · · Score: 4, Funny

    I think I speak for all cubicle-dwellers when I say:

    SCREW YOU!

    Do you have a door? We'd kill for just a door. And some walls! Glorious, glorious walls...

    <huddles in a corner, shivering>

    Doug

    1. Re:Common reply: by nb+caffeine · · Score: 1

      I have a door, two desks, serveral computers, and the job of two full time programmers. Id rather have the cube. Course, the grass is always greener. Wait, i just remembered, theres two doors. One to a conference room, one of the main hall. Yeah

      --

      "Something's wrong with you...and I hope we never do meet again." - Deftones When Girls Telephone Boys
    2. Re:Common reply: by nb+caffeine · · Score: 1

      Oh, i forgot. Two big windows. Too bad im in western NY and the windows are drafty as hell and its always freezing in here. But hey, i can lean back in my leather chair and dream i was making more then pennies a day

      --

      "Something's wrong with you...and I hope we never do meet again." - Deftones When Girls Telephone Boys
    3. Re:Common reply: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      dream i was making more then pennies a day

      You probably would have achieved that dream long ago if you knew the difference between then and than.

    4. Re:Common reply: by isorox · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Cubicle? You're living the dream mate!

      I get a desk with no partitons seperating my from everyone else in the office, although I can hide behind 5 (count em) monitors.

      Of course friends in other departments envy me. They get to share a hotdesk with 5 other shifts. I have a calender on my desk, they have a tiny locker to keep their toolkit in

    5. Re:Common reply: by Metzli · · Score: 1

      A cold office? I'm jealous. My cube is always hot. In winter the heat is blasting and in summer no one cranks up the A/C. I'd _really_ dig an office that's cold.

      --
      "It's too bad stupidity isn't painful." - A. S. LaVey
    6. Re:Common reply: by X0563511 · · Score: 1

      It's a lot easier to escape from cold then from heat.

      You can bundle up, use a heater, ect.

      Can you strip down? Usually not. Nor can you knock out the wall to get some ventalation :)

      --
      For large sets, this will be our guide even unto death, for the LORD will work for each type of data it is applied to...
  23. Cubicle? Luxury! by ccady · · Score: 1
    --
    J'aime mieux les méchants que les imbéciles, parce qu'ils se reposent. -- Alexandre Dumas
  24. no window? make one by supersuckers · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Go to a yard sale and buy an old window, then hang it up in your cube. Put a poster of a nice beach or some other scene inside of it. Instant beach side property!

    1. Re:no window? make one by Geoffreyerffoeg · · Score: 1

      That's almost what I was going to suggest: stick a flat-screen behind a window frame, or put a window frame on one side of the room and a projector on the other. Get a nice webcam of somewhere, or a slowly moving virtual 3D render, or a music visualization, etc.

    2. Re:no window? make one by rbochan · · Score: 1

      ...Put a poster of a nice beach or some other scene inside of it...

      I swear the first 3 times I read that line I read it as nude beach.

      --
      ...Rob
      The American Dream isn't an SUV and a house in the suburbs; it's Don't Tread On Me.
  25. A Rug by JackBuckley · · Score: 3, Interesting
    Nothing brightens up a crappy office like a decent looking area rug over whatever yellowed tiles or stained carpet is down. I had a windowless office for years as a grad student. One night I bought a $100 oriental rug at a big box home goods store, the next few weeks everybody kept saying that I had the nicest office on the floor.

    Just my $.02

  26. Stupid reply... by djsmiley · · Score: 2, Funny

    "there aren't any windows"

    Must be linus' office!

    --
    - http://www.milkme.co.uk
  27. Use your creative muscle people! by QuietRiot · · Score: 5, Interesting
    Please don't "just google it."

    Come up with something cool nobody else has done before. Not even people "on the internet."

    I once saw a room in college where the ceiling was covered with wrinkled aluminum foil and had red and blue lights pointed at it. It was a pretty nice effect. He did a really nice job too - right up to the corners and *lots* of crinkles. It was all probably about 2-3 inches thick. Neat look, relatively simple to do. (shiny side out!)

    But you can't do that. It's taken. Just kidding. Do what you want.

    Another guy in the same place had a very small room so he put his bed on a system where he could raise it up to the ceiling using some steel cable, pulleys, and counterweights to get it out of the way during the day.

    Collect random junk and try to make something that looks like a person standing in the corner. Dress up a coatrack with random junk. Spare CAT5 for hair (or shredded paper), some spools of some kind for eyes - be sure to add some shades. Old t-shirt from the thrift shop. Think up some other stuff for the rest.

    You could put color filters in your flourescent overhead lighting.

    Build a LARGE binary clock for your wall.

    You can always hang models or random crap from the ceiling.

    Use tape or rearrange the tiles for some kind of boardgame layout on your floor. Pac-Man

    Do what you can to "0wn" your friends cubicles in a non-destructive way.
    All your cubicles are belong to us!
    Racing stripes. Get some from an auto parts store and stick it to the side of your computer or monitor cases.

    Have an artist friend do a mural. Mosaic-ify it and do it on the tiles, overhead, on the wall, in the bathroom.

    Put up and "I'm from here." map. Even if it's just your city or tri-county area.

    Maps. Just find maps from random places.

    LEDs. Can't forget LEDs. (Just be sure to over drive them with an incorrectly designed power supply so they burn out and/or try to catch things on fire... HHOK) LEDs everywhere! (Everybody else is doing it.)

    Get some lasers and front-surface mirrors. Get a laser to bounce back and forth across the office a few times then smoke something in the dark to make it appear :)

    TUX. Can't forget TUX. He could use some wall space - right?

    Beastie. Can't forget Beastie. Make a blanket! :)

    Random sports equipment usually looks sorta cool hanging from the walls. Find a surfboard.

    Replace some standard office equipment with the same piece, but made out of LEGOs.

    Spare/Junk/Coastered CDs can be put on the walls in interesting patterns or made into clocks.

    Make the coffee machine run off a generator connected to an exercise bike. Put people on rotation and make sure they get to work on time. Maybe riding the bike is enough exercise to replace the need for coffee?

    Build a still. Like on *M*A*S*H* Imbibe on Fridays.

    Build a file-cabinet maze.

    Get some flourescent paint. Buy some blacklights.

    Mess with the bathroom somehow. Make visitors wonder.

    Paper airplane airport. Practice landings. Make a launcher with rubber bands.

    Print out banner ads for your wall.

    Tin-can-and-string telephone/intercom???

    Get some fish.

    Get yourself a "Jump to Conclusions" mat for the office.

    You could probably etch a number of carpets or other surfaces with bleach or acid. Just mask and pour! (Carpet would probably need something heavy to push down into the pile to prevent run-out. Masking tape won't work unless you use a spray bottle. Mask -far- back.)

    Take a Friday afternoon to go shopping for old couches and coffee tables. How about a gaudy lamp from 1964 for the corner of your office??

    Have a "Cubicle Pimp-Out Contest". Flashy and Gaudy wins.

    Remodel. Just moving stuff around will be fun and interesting for the next few weeks.

    No windows in your office? Buy yourself a sledgehammer. It won't come with directions. You don't need directions.....
    1. Re:Use your creative muscle people! by MrWa · · Score: 0, Flamebait

      Or you could do the f'ing work your office is intended for and stretch your creative muscles on your own time, at home.

    2. Re:Use your creative muscle people! by TopShelf · · Score: 2, Interesting

      My favorite college room mod was done by an old buddy of mine. Instead of a loft for his cramped, three-to-a-room cage, he built the "Anti-Loft". It was a raised floor with room underneath for storage and sleeping for three. Since he and his roommates were all below-average height, they didn't miss the headroom and had considerably more useable space than a typical loft would have afforded.

      The best part was that his sleeping area was accessed by a hatch in the floor, with a poster of a mushroom cloud underneath. I guess his Monday mornings weren't depressing enough...

      --
      Stop by my site where I write about ERP systems & more
    3. Re:Use your creative muscle people! by Otter · · Score: 2, Funny
      Collect random junk and try to make something that looks like a person standing in the corner. Dress up a coatrack with random junk. Spare CAT5 for hair (or shredded paper), some spools of some kind for eyes - be sure to add some shades. Old t-shirt from the thrift shop.

      Yeah, that's good thinking. I can replace caffeine with a terror-induced heart attack every morning.

    4. Re:Use your creative muscle people! by trs9000 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Yo, every failed dot com from 1999 called. They want their decorating tips back.
      Seriously.

    5. Re:Use your creative muscle people! by ScottSpeaks! · · Score: 0, Offtopic
      Is it just me, or are all these ideas totally gay?

      Not totally, but they're getting there. It's something to strive for.

      Considering all that "straight" implies...

      • straight and narrow is a dreary lifestyle
      • straight-jackets are for the insane
      • four straight lines make a square
      • the straight man in a comedy duo is the one who isn't funny
      • in straight poker you're stuck with whatever you're dealt
      • straight razors are lethally dangerous
      • no one likes to be in dire straits (unless you're Mark Knopfler)
      ... I'll take "gay" ideas any day.
  28. Money!! by djsmiley · · Score: 0, Redundant

    1. Buy office "and there aren't any windows."
    2. Advertise to geeks on ebay
    3. ????
    4. PROFIT!

    --
    - http://www.milkme.co.uk
  29. How about.... by ABaumann · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'll create my own corporate office, with blackjack and hookers! In fact... forget the corporate office.

  30. Bah by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Whenever we get a new employee and they bring in all their toys and music and fret about getting their space set up just how they like I think, "I am going to hate that person because their productivity is going to suck." 9 times out of 10, I am correct.

    1. Re:Bah by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And 9 times out of 10 they are thinking "What a-holes here I am setting up my cube at one tenth of the crap in theirs and they wont cut me any slack, nice team work asswipes."

    2. Re:Bah by Stinking+Pig · · Score: 1

      hear, hear. I've had exactly one good co-worker spend some time on her office... she painted it a non-ugly color, and brought in a lamp and a couple of plants. On the weekend. Everyone else that's spent more effort on it than sticking up a couple of posters and action figures wasn't around long enough to finish their grand plans :)

      --
      "Nothing was broken, and it's been fixed." -- Jon Carroll
  31. I am windowless on purpose by MerlynEmrys67 · · Score: 1
    I have an office - a door, good music - and no window.

    I learned a long time ago that for my work windows just don't work for me... Either the monitor faces the window and gets a ton of glare, or the monitor faces away from the window and you get bright lights (the sun) in your eyes while trying to type. Either way - I prefer an interior office, no lights, and take a walk in the big blue room in the afternoon.

    --
    I have mod points and I am not afraid to use them
    1. Re:I am windowless on purpose by Mr.+Slippery · · Score: 1
      Either way - I prefer an interior office, no lights, and take a walk in the big blue room in the afternoon.

      If we ever work at the same place, I'll trade ya. :-) Can't stand being windowless, I get sleepy and depressed when deprived of sunlight.

      --
      Tom Swiss | the infamous tms | my blog
      You cannot wash away blood with blood
    2. Re:I am windowless on purpose by MerlynEmrys67 · · Score: 1
      If we ever work at the same place, I'll trade ya. :-)
      Not a problem. I did it where I am now - engineers at my grade are "supposed" to have a window office - when mine became available, I told my manager to give it to a junior co-worker that wanted the window... Win Win for both of us
      --
      I have mod points and I am not afraid to use them
  32. Plants by Bishop · · Score: 3, Informative

    Real live plants are nice. Even without a window some plants will be fine under flourescent lighting. Look for "shade" plants.

    If possible you may also want to smuggle in a "super-daylight" flourescent light. You want something that is about 5500k with a CRI higher then 80. A single 2ft or 3ft tube, or 20w to 30w compact would be fine.

    1. Re:Plants by nelsonal · · Score: 3, Interesting

      A great office plant is an orchid. They usually don't require much light which makse them great for windowless offices. They grow really slowly so they won't fill your office with green in a few years. Also when they finally send a flow spike up, everyone will be amazed.

      --
      Degaussing scares the bad magnetism out of the monitor and fills it with good karma.
    2. Re:Plants by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      80? Surely you jest...95 minimum. 80 is ridiculous.
      Of course, that's fluorescent for you.

  33. No Windows??? by dethwulf · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Find a good pic of your favorite landscape and Rasterbate it. (http://homokaasu.org/rasterbator/)

    --
    Good things come to those who wait on the early bird who gets the worm... hey, wait a sec!
  34. Re:Here's a novel concept by bladesjester · · Score: 2, Interesting

    One of my former bosses thought it was a crime for me to play music. Complained when I used it without headphones (and was not loud by any means. this was an office, not a cube) and I got griped at when I used headphones because he got complaints that people thought I wasn't paying attention to them (They would open the door, see from behind that I was wearing headphones, playing at a very low volume actually, *assume* that I would not be able to hear them and then leave without saying a word)

    It made me want to scream and the days dragged past.

    --
    Everything I need to know I learned by killing smart people and eating their brains.
  35. Add your own window(s) by mteichrob · · Score: 1

    As seen previously, you could add your own windows

    I know I would do it if I just happened to have 8 LCD screens laying around.

    --
    Life is a journey. . . enjoy it!
  36. My solution.... by cmowire · · Score: 1

    I keep mine filled with my art. So there are ceramics, neon, and plasma in my cube.

  37. You want to be different [just like everyone else] by zorkmid · · Score: 4, Interesting

    At the last dot.bomb I worked at there was some kind of arms race like thing going on with regards to "geeking out" your office.

    The amount of time, effort and money these happy idiots invested in this endeavor was truly astounding.

    The companies high lords of chaos (management) eventually shipped about 99% of the company offshore to Hyderabad and Bucharest (the 1% left in the US was, you guessed it, management).

    The message being if you have the time to waste making your office "pretty" you might not have enough real work to do. At least from the point of view of the bottom line fixated management.

    So these days I keep it spartan. Books (lots of java API manuals), maps on the wall (I do a lot of GIS related work). A couple of my large monitors display virtual fishtanks or random slide shows. And if you have tiled floors a good rug is a must.

  38. Twisted "inspirational" posters by jncook · · Score: 2, Interesting

    I coat my office in posters from www.despair.com, which mock the corporate single-word-and-pretty-picture inspirational posters.

    For instance, "Limitations - Until you spread your wings, you have no idea how far you can walk."

    James

    1. Re:Twisted "inspirational" posters by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0


      Heh, I had one of those once, it said something like 'A journey of a thousand miles can end quickly' and it at a picture of a bear by the side of creek with a salmon in its mouth.

      I saw another one once that had a picture of the pyramids and said "You can accomplish anything if you try hard enough (and have infinite resources)".

    2. Re:Twisted "inspirational" posters by blincoln · · Score: 1

      I coat my office in posters from www.despair.com, which mock the corporate single-word-and-pretty-picture inspirational posters.

      They don't have my favourite one. It says something like "Teamwork - it's amazing what we can accomplish together," and the picture is a shot of the Nuremberg rallies.

      --
      "...always new atoms but always doing the same dance, remembering what the dance was yesterday." -Richard Feynman
    3. Re:Twisted "inspirational" posters by Kris_J · · Score: 1
      I've the the "She's got your eyes" poster from Adbusters.

      I've also got a couple of small bits of art on the wall and some old computers (Spectrum, Apple IIc, Atari 400) on a shelf.

    4. Re:Twisted "inspirational" posters by Seraphim_72 · · Score: 1

      Gawd
      - Talk to me, lie to me, give me shameless stats, even send me to goatse - but please, oh please gimme a link - PLEASE!!! I have large wads of transferable cash, I must have it!!

      Sera

      --
      Slashdot, where armchair scientists get shouted down and armchair theologians get modded up.
    5. Re:Twisted "inspirational" posters by unitron · · Score: 1
      Demotivation, get yer demotivation here.

      http://www.despair.com/

      Happy now?

      --

      I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.

    6. Re:Twisted "inspirational" posters by TheMysteriousFuture · · Score: 1

      what he said ^^^

      --
      .sig
    7. Re:Twisted "inspirational" posters by blincoln · · Score: 1

      I can't remember where I got it, but it doesn't seem to be online any more. Email me if you want a copy. benlincoln at speakeasy dot net.

      It's a little different than I remembered. The picture isn't from the Nuremburg rallies AFAICT, but it is a bunch of the Wehrmacht marching down a street with swastikas in the background. The text is "Because together, we can accomplish so much more."

      --
      "...always new atoms but always doing the same dance, remembering what the dance was yesterday." -Richard Feynman
  39. You have a job! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    wow ... it must be nice.

    nepotism rules

  40. Ideas for ya by Frank+of+Earth · · Score: 3, Informative

    Thinkgeek.com has a lot of stuff to make your office your own. I personally have the binary clock work tends to freak people out, but I think it's cool.

    I actually posed this question to the /. community on what types of cool stuff they are growing at work. Based upon their suggestions, I started a few jalapeno plants which already have 2 leaves a piece.

  41. Inspired by TGI Friday's by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    As Moe would put it, I've got "lotsa crazy crap on the walls":

    Two framed 27" x 40" movie posters from the first two Terminator movies.
    Between them on a plexi shelf mounted on the wall stands a 14" endoskeleton figure.
    A framed share of Apple stock from Oneshare.com.
    A few items of memorabilia from the local AHL team's championship season a few years back, including a photo of me holding the Calder Cup (being a season ticketholder has its privileges).
    The motherboard from my very first computer, a Tandy 1000 circa 1985.
    A (now framed) oversized New Jersey driver's license that I used to use to make fake IDs when I was young and foolish.
    A framed marquee from a Q*bert coin-op machine.
    Finally, a plush Q*bert doll I bought on eBay, with a homemade foamcore flying disc screwed to his feet dangles from the ceiling via nearly invisible fishing line.

    At both my last job and my current job, it was generally agreed that I had the coolest office.

  42. I should mention... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ...that I don't come in on my first day and put all this stuff up. It comes in piece by piece and gets stored out of the way, and then one weekend when I'm bored I'll come in and spend the couple hours it takes to measure where the nails should go and hang everything up.

  43. Re:Here's a novel concept by mabu · · Score: 1

    C'mon... this guy is looking for a distraction. I can appreciate the importance of having a healthy environment but I don't think that's what this guy is looking for. If he wants to "pimp" his workspace, he has other motives in mind, having to do with impressing other people moreso than improving his own productivity.

  44. Enormous stacks of paperwork. by chris_mahan · · Score: 2, Funny

    I like to put anormous stacks of paperwork all over my desk. Also, I pid very detail, hard to read data diagrams on the walls. Looks mean as hell.
    Of course, a nice collection of pens of many colors can provide enjoyment. Don't use the neon ligut under your overhang cabinets. Bring a small lamp.

    Finally remember this: Don't have anything at your cube you can't live without.

    --

    "Piter, too, is dead."

  45. 196 candles & dorm-room.conf by QuietRiot · · Score: 1

    With the limited space available, I've seen some pretty interesting combos, especially with those that have 2 or more in a room.

    Our dorm rooms had somewhat modular furniture where it could be hooked up in different ways. I hooked my bunk-bed to the back of my roommate's closet module and put my desk underneath. You can't beat floor space. It took a few hours to get all of our junk out into the hallway and do the transformation, but made the remaining 7 or so months there a great deal more comfortable.

    It sounds obvious, but people forget. When given limited space, go vertical. Stack things. Use walls. Add shelves. Hang from the ceiling. How much more paper (read: junk) could the average desk collect if people hung their monitors from the ceiling? Mine is raised about a foot off my desk on a small pedestal to make for more comfortable viewing when leaning back in my chair. More room for stuff from ThinkGeek if you'd like. More room for books and a place to stuff a keyboard for mine.

    Be creative. Move stuff around. Can't usually hurt much (well, do a backup first :) and you're likely to find a more useful configuration for your stuff.

    When evolution slows, and things get stale - Force the Mutation. Tear it down and put it together again. The downsides you know about you can strip away. Let the strong attributes survive. You need to invest in the system to bring about healthy change but it's served Mother Nature pretty well for eons now. Play God with your office furniture or anything else you've built. (Doing so with stuff others have built can be good for, well, Others - but can make the original creator and/or other users of such a device or system mad. Not knowing much about something you'd like to destroy can have negative consequences - subtilties you're not aware of can be destroyed, upsetting the status-quo. That may not be bad - just be careful.)

    (Chuck D turned 196 on 2 Feb., 2005 and the tenants he spoke of in Origin of Species stand true today, even in engineering. Use that force to bring about change for good. When things could be better, force a mutation. Some will whine, some will glorify you. If nothing else, you're sure to be enlightened.) As always.... Experiment. You can't *help* but learn something.

  46. Cube life by Smallpond · · Score: 2, Funny

    For the standard small office cube - unplug the ghastly flourescent fixture and put in a floor lamp with incandescent bulb and a cheap oriental rug. Instant class.

    If you can't do that and you like your neighbor, pull an Office Space. Tear out the intervening wall and share a double cube. This makes your area look roomier even though you still have the same space.

    If anybody asks, tell them Derek told you it was OK. Unless your company actually has someone named Derek, in which case use Sheldon.

    Not responsible for the reactions of Maintenance or Supervisory staff when they find out about these changes.

  47. I squeezed a 4D cube into my cubicle. Instant infinite space! Whoot! I can type faster in the fourth dimension.

    --
    http://www.rayn.net . Funny. Stuff.
    1. Re:4D by Usquebaugh · · Score: 1

      Yes it's amazing what time can be used for in a cube.

  48. You're right - we're all worthles..... by QuietRiot · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Or you could do the f'ing work your office is intended for and stretch your creative muscles on your own time, at home.

    I'm not sure if this is intended for me specifically, or the general reader. I am responsible about getting my work done - and I use my creative muscle at home and at work. Feel free to do whatever you'd like at your work - sounds pretty exciting from here. Unless you work odd hours or have your own business, I'd say you aren't much different from many readers here looking at the times you've been posting over the past few months.

    Isn't superiority wonderful??

    14:55 Friday 18 February 2005
    20:04 Thursday 17 February 2005
    00:14 Sunday 13 February 2005
    20:23 Tuesday 08 February 2005
    00:32 Tuesday 08 February 2005
    16:08 Thursday 03 February 2005
    11:50 Thursday 03 February 2005
    15:50 Tuesday 01 February 2005
    15:33 Tuesday 01 February 2005
    18:56 Wednesday 26 January 2005
    15:46 Tuesday 25 January 2005
    13:56 Monday 24 January 2005
    23:56 Wednesday 19 January 2005
    14:04 Tuesday 18 January 2005
    09:47 Tuesday 18 January 2005
    19:20 Friday 14 January 2005
    19:28 Friday 14 January 2005
    20:56 Thursday 13 January 2005
    17:59 Wednesday 12 January 2005
    12:09 Monday 10 January 2005
    14:29 Monday 10 January 2005
    12:01 Monday 10 January 2005
    11:54 Monday 10 January 2005
    13:33 Saturday 08 January 2005

    I'll give you 8 out of 10 on your attempt at condesention. It sounded pretty good at making people feel bad. Making *me* feel like crap - Sorry that I can't give you better than a 3. Do try again. It's appreciated by us all.... I'm sure especially by your boss.

  49. YOU ARE BEING DOWNSIZED by cr0sh · · Score: 2, Interesting
    Get your head out of your behind and smell the coffee. How do I know? Because it happenned to me...

    I started out at my last company in a cubicle, about a year or so later I had an office. Not a large one, but an office nonetheless. Things were going good, then about a year later I was moved to a smaller office. I was being paid well and the work was cool, so I didn't complain to much.

    About a year after that, the office was reconstructed, while we worked, so people that had offices had to get cubes, and while some got their offices back - I didn't. I made a fuss, I tried to make deals - nothing, absolutely nothing worked. They said they didn't have room. My cubicle was a large one, but it had a weird "doorway", monitor faced out, and it was on a corner of an intersection where people naturally gravitated to hold impromptu meetings - meaning I could hear everything and had no privacy, period. Meanwhile, the office I used to have continued to be unoccupied.

    For about a year this went on, and my old office continued to be unoccupied (along with about 2-3 others - but there wasn't room, remember?). I continued to have a cubicle, no privacy, and my one solace was that my supervisor allowed me to work from home over VPN three times a week, so it wasn't too bad for those two days I was in the office. My productivity never reduced, and my supervisor was pleased with my work.

    Eventually, another individual moved and took my old office (me and him got along ok, so I didn't begrudge him having it), even though we supposedly "didn't have room". Whatever. Several months went by, my project was cancelled, and I was "let go"...

    All in all, it was a fortunate thing to happen - I work for a business still in a "startup" phase, with fewer people than I have fingers to count them on. Furthermore, I sit in an "office" room which is quite large (24 x 16 feet), three walls of which have whiteboard space, plus a video projector and screen. I get to work on very interesting projects, and I make more money.

    I don't know what my old employer was smoking, but they need to give it up.

    --
    Reason is the Path to God - Anon
  50. Like - for sure. by QuietRiot · · Score: 1
    Just some creative innoculant. Nothing more. I do appreciate the accusation though.

    Doing anything tonight Mr. Coward? You sound cute.

    I've never met anybody with your first name. Why did your parents name you that?

    .... Oh. That's hot.

  51. I have a red swingline stapler by sfjoe · · Score: 1

    http://www.techcomedy.com/www.redswinglinestapler. com/

    --
    It's simple: I demand prosecution for torture.
  52. Re:Here's a novel concept by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Turn your desk around so you're facing the door, and then when you see someone open the door instantly pull the headphones out or otherwise acknowledge their presence.

  53. Please! - slowly now.... drop the tinfoil... Drop. by QuietRiot · · Score: 1

    You are so very, very right.... :) Oh well.

    Readers should "consider the source" when deciding to implement these ideas. We *are* Slashdot - and with that dot comes great powers. Use your "creative muscle" wisely people! Don't ask your boss.... ask your conscience.

    I still think random maps on the wall are always fun. Don't deny the maps..... Got some blank wall you can put a tack into? Got some old maps in your desk drawer at home or one in your car from your last trip to Elba, NY or Urbana, MO - hang it!

  54. Don't encourage people to stay by bender647 · · Score: 1

    I used to have tons of conversation pieces in my office, but then I learned it led to, well, conversations. (The hermit)

  55. More information needed. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    It would be good to know more about what you want to achieve.

    For example, I could care less about what's in my office. The decorations that are there are meant in order to make it a friendly place for my staff and colleagues to come and hang out. I figure for staff in particular, coming to my office is perhaps diconcerting, so the least I can do is make it a comfortable surrounding. Likewise, I figure that if peers feel comfortable there, it acts as a networking tool.

    So, I had something in mind and everything in my office is aimed at that goal. Perhaps you have some other goal in decorating your space?

  56. it is, unfortunately, primarily about image by foog · · Score: 1

    Noise, quiet, and music: if I don't have quiet working conditions, I wear earplugs while I'm working. If the boss doesn't like it, he or she can do something about the noise.

    I like the suggestion for a rug, btw. When I go back to an office from working from home, I'm getting one.

    A professional-quality photograph of your family, girlfriend, or pet is good. Don't use a "wacky" frame.

    I also always hang up my patent plaque from a previous employer. I'll happily hang up any new ones, too.

    Hanging up diplomas is for medical doctors and the insecure. In most cases, it screams "I'm not getting what I expected from my fancy degree!".

    A plant can be nice if you have enough sunlight for one.

    A good high-output desk lamp is very nice.

    Make sure you have enough shelves for your books. Make sure you have enough books for your shelves.

    Schoolboy cynicism is a bottom-dog endeavor: no Dilbert cartoons or Demotivator posters for me, thanks.

    1. Re:it is, unfortunately, primarily about image by foog · · Score: 1

      Oh yes, as big a whiteboard as you can fit in your space is another good thing.

  57. I have a sign hanging on the wall... by Cryptnotic · · Score: 1


    Unnecessary Optimization Rules:

    1. Don't.
    2. If you feel tempted to violate rule 1, at least wait until you've finished writing the program.
    3. Non-trivial programs are never finished.

    The sign is to remind myself not to do unnecessary work.

    --
    My other first post is car post.
  58. A few thoughts by miyako · · Score: 2, Informative

    Although I've never worked in a cube or office, I do have a home office which ideally functions similarly to a work office, that is to be asthetically pleasing while not being distracting. Here are a few ideas for decorating that I've come up with.
    First of all, if possible go with static decorations, as neat as those little moving doohickies and thingamuhwatzitz may seem, they tend to be distracting, often catching the corner of your eye. Along these lines, think color scheme, if you tend to just pick things willy nilly then you can end up with major clashage.
    I prefer a deep somewhat victorian color scheme, deep reds and browns, golds, things of that nature. If your stuck in an office then a more modern look might be appropriate, white and black with chrome.
    Light level is also important, Most people have an optimal light level that they like to work in, I prefer a low light environment, too much light makes me sick and gives me headaches. A lot of people have the opposite problem, be sure to know what sort of light level works best for you and go with that.
    Carpet is also important, along with adding a bit of style to the room, a good carpet can cut down on noise, especially if you have a lot of people walking through your area.
    When working with limited space, it's also important to think multifunctional, for example shelves can break up the monotony of a wall space, as well as providing much needed horizontle surfaces.

    --
    Famous Last Words: "hmm...wikipedia says it's edible"
  59. How big is *your* office? by fm6 · · Score: 1
    Nothing says status like space. The fact that you're in a smaller space is not a good sign.
    I hate working in a cube -- but I've come to accept that there may be some wisdom in banning private offices.

    War story 1: I worked at Borland, whose main building is designed around one simple (but expensive) feature: everybody who works on the third floor gets a private office with a Window. But who gets to work on the third floor? Originally, the idea was, Top Management and R&D developers. Which is nice for them, but doesn't make all the other employees exactly feel loved. Later, when Borland shrunk, everybody who could get away with it moved to the third floor. Then half the building was leased out, the company started to grow again, and a lot of people had to be (literally) kicked downstairs. The ensuing battles were not pretty.

    War story 2: Sun tries to allot a private offices to everybody whose job doesn't involve answering the phone. But that leads to status issues over office size and window-versus-windowless. The office allocator for one particualr division got in trouble because she had more window offices to allocate than she had high-status people to put in them. Her solution was to double people up in large offices, claiming that some offices had been allocated to people who hadn't moved into the building yet....

    I suggested that we simply paint over the windows in some offices. Nobody else thought it was funny....

  60. Bah,,, by t0ny747 · · Score: 0

    Just be lucky you don't wash dishes for a living :). Well I only do it 2 days a week and thats to pay off my laptop.

    --
    Taco?
  61. Re:Cubicle? Luxury! by ggvaidya · · Score: 1

    Corridor, pish! When I was a young 'un, we were made to work in the TOILETS! And we LIKED IT!

    (Man, were we scared of core dumps though :| ...)

  62. Ahem by ggvaidya · · Score: 1

    Achievement: "You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor.

    Perfect for: China, china, and of course: China (and disaffected college students)."

    Go browse around, it's a really funny website!

  63. P1mp your screen by l0rd · · Score: 1

    Well, if you're working in a corporate box, you're kinda screwed. You could go the office space route (demolish wall and climb the corporate structure by being honest (bigger office)) but for most people that isn't an option.

    Best thing to do is get a good desktop wallpaper/theme and keep your cubicle uncluttered. If you really wanna p1mp it bring your ibook/laptop and slideshow personal pictures or wath the Simpsons ;-)

  64. Photos by raider_red · · Score: 1

    I put up pictures of scenes that are relaxing to me. Also, I use my own photos for this, so it gives me a chance to show them off (and sell) them to my co-workers.

    --
    It's good to use your head, but not as a battering ram.
  65. Just be happy you have an office. by /dev/trash · · Score: 1

    I have a cube. That changes everyday. And I can't bring anything at all to that cube.

  66. the best office I've seen by austad · · Score: 2, Interesting

    I saw one of the coolest cubicle's a couple of weeks ago out at a state agency. You could certainly adapt this to your office.

    The guy had two large tree/plant thing on either side of the entrance, you had to push them aside to walk through it. He had then put pieces of wood spaced about 8 inches apart across the top of the cube, and on the desk below, had pots filled with some sort of creeping vines. The vines were attached to the wood. The entire cube was like a jungle. A lava lamp set the mood, and other small task lighting replaced the blocked light from the flourescents.

    If I ever work in a cubicle environment again, I'm definitely doing this.

    --
    Need Free Juniper/NetScreen Support? JuniperForum
  67. The Zoo. by ThetaPi · · Score: 1

    Personally, I decorate my office comics cut out of newspapers. I do work in the periodicals department of a university, though.

    I have a nice corner office with windows, at least that is how I describe it. It is inside the building with a clear view our reading room.

    I think of it as my own personal zoo. The patrons can watch me and I can watch them. I do remember not to feed the animals though.

    --
    "When God kisses Satan and the Incarnations applaud." "Death is dead. Long live Death!"
  68. spinners by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    put spinner hubcaps on your office chair.

  69. Re:You insensitive clod... by enigmathegreat · · Score: 1

    What a waste of good feet...

  70. This is true! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    One person in a double-wide cube. Toaster oven. Microwave oven. Refrigerator. Gumby hanging from the ceiling tiles. How "Mr. Smith" avoided getting busted by the Cubicle Cops, I don't know. He still works there, I don't. Maybe some incriminating photos hidden behind the bottom file drawer?

  71. Re:You insensitive clod... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    uhh... redundant? Please explain or post to undo that... makes absolutely no sense.

  72. Poetic Technologies... by LukeyJunk · · Score: 2, Interesting

    ...has an awesome line of tech friendly workspaces. Some of them have self-contained air circulation and they can rotate on a preprogrammed schedule to follow the sunlight, multi-monitor support, lighting, pneumatically adjustable seating with presets for multiple users, etc., etc., etc. http://www.poetictech.com/index.html

    --
    "Giving first aid the already disheveled hair projection" -Anakin
  73. Lighting by angedinoir · · Score: 1

    Turn of those superbright overhead lights and get some smaller lights and lots of LEDs.

    Make sure to cover any windows you have in the room.

  74. If the face fits... by chrisbeatty · · Score: 1

    I'm writing based on the assumtion you were "let go" but not as part of a mass lay off.

    Dumb middle managers often do this, if you say anything against something they've done or approved they store it away & you're first out the door when they need to cut costs.

    Some people just nod, agree & get the perks/rises...etc, sadly when these people take charge nothing ever changes, they don't question & the status quo is maintained.

    Working for a small business is best, unless you work in the civil service, that's a job for life!!

  75. Pimp This... by http101 · · Score: 1

    (1) 6'x4' Chrome-plated desk.
    (1) 5-caster mesh-back office chair with Spinners.
    (2) PlasmaHDTV monitors hooked into a dual-head video card.
    (1) Optical-out DVD player.
    (1) 7.1 surround-sound system powered by a rackmount audio system tucked into your closet.
    (1) Disco Ball.
    (1) Bottle of Courvoisier.
    (2) Inflatable, pink lounge chairs.
    (1) Spuds McKenzie stuffed animal.

    --
    -- Game Developers: Stop porting badly-textured games from crappy console systems!