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Trey Parker and Matt Stone Save Enterprise
maotx writes "Paramount has agreed to permit Star Trek Enterprise to run for the fifth season which under normal circumstances, the sci-fi show would be impossible to produce with the reduced budget. Enter Star Trek fans Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of South Park, to save the day. The two will rename the show to "Team Enterprise" and will keep the voices of the original actors. With the lack of a budget for CGI effects the two will use a model of the Enterprise NX-01, thus reviving an old Star Trek tradition. "We prefer the look of physical, tangible models over CGI ships any day," Parker said. "Of course, we have no visual effects budget whatsoever, so we won't be painting out the strings. You'll get used to it. Still trying to figure out where to put the propeller." They then went on to comment: "We're also gonna re-do the opening title sequence," Stone revealed. "Record a new theme -- something bombastic, action-oriented. Y'know, something that isn't, like, totally gay.""
Starfleet, Fuck Yeah lyrics
Starfleet...
Starfleet...
Starfleet, FUCK YEAH!
Coming again, to save the mother fucking day yeah,
Starfleet, FUCK YEAH!
The Federation is the only way yeah,
Non-members your game is through cause now you have to answer to...
Starfleet, FUCK YEAH!
So lick my butt, and suck on my balls,
Starfleet, FUCK YEAH!
What you going to do when we come for you now,
It's the dream that we all share; it's the hope for tomorrow
FUCK YEAH!
Terrans, FUCK YEAH!
Vulcans, FUCK YEAH!
Bajorans, FUCK YEAH!
Tellarites, FUCK YEAH!
Binars, FUCK YEAH!
Andorians, FUCK, YEAH!
Benzites, FUCK YEAH!
Klingons, FUCK YEAH!
Prime Directive, FUCK YEAH!
Trill, FUCK YEAH!
Ferrengi, FUCK YEAH!
Rigelians, FUCK YEAH!
Risians, FUCK YEAH!
Zakdorns, FUCK YEAH!
Denebulons, FUCK YEAH!
Caitians, FUCK YEAH!
Alpha Centaurians, FUCK YEAH!
Betazedians (Betazeds?)
(fuck yeah, fuck yeah)
But the new Trek producers can cut corners by utilizing existing props and sets from "Team America." So don't be surprised if Captain Archer looks suspiciously like Alec Baldwin, Trip Tucker like Matt Damon, Travis Mayweather like Samuel L. Jackson, T'Pol like Janeane Garofalo, and Malcolm Reed like Susan Sarandon.
:-D
That's the funniest shit I've seem all day! Kudos to StarTrek.com!
Javascript + Nintendo DSi = DSiCade
KHAAAAAAARTMAN!
april fools jokes are getting a little worn now. time to call it quits i think
That one I almost wish was true...
In other words, Star Trek's special effects get an upgrade.
24 beers in a case, 24 hours in a day. Coincidence? I think not!
The captain will now always yell "Respect my authoritah!"
APRIL FOOLS! Too easy.
Having mod points on April First is like having root on a broken computer: It might in theory give you some power, but there's no way to use it effectively.
A good fart joke will re-energize the Star Trek franchise.
I'm not a Troll, it's reverse psychology.
Can't wait to see how it looks
I wannt live! I wanna live!
Zhrodague.net - I do projects and stuff too.
I think all the characters should have the voice of Majel Barrett.
this one sounds like it is about a couple of dead horses, Enterprise(ok, maybe this one is a dead blue whale washed up on the beach) and April Fools day jokes.
...I won't mind if this one does turn out to be true (especially if Cartman does a guest appearance...maybe HE could be the one to actually fire the cannon!)
This space intentionally left (almost) blank.
It's been a long day! ;)
I never understood the obsession with Star Trek but to each his own I guess. The bad acting always ruined it for me. Hey, its better than American Idol and The bachelor at least.
"Those that start by burning books, will end by burning men."
gotta be
[what?]
William Shatner has, in fact, been played by one of these marionation puppets since 1996. The unlifelike sheen of his skin and the jerky speech patters are a dead give-away.
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
-- Thou hast strayed far from the path of the Avatar.
5 4 3 2 1...
_____
"Screw you guys, I'm beaming home."
_____
"Sorry, we have a little morale problem with Ensign Redshirt. It seems-"
"Beam him into space. Now, onto the issue of dinner. I want-"
"Captain! we can't just beam a crew member into space. It's-"
"GODDAMN IT! I SAID BEAM HIM INTO SPACE! RESPECT MY A-THOR-I-TAY!"
- Crow T. Trollbot
That Kenny dies in every episode and wears a red shirt (coat).
And secondly everyone knows Star Wars is better execpt for JarJar.
I'm sorry, but you lose this one. You conveniently left out:
1) Greedo shoots second.
2) Anakin in E1.
3) Anakin in E2.
4) Anakin in E3.
5) Mitochlorians.
6) Mark Hamill.
7) A BBEG named "Dooku".
8) Rebel fleet is commanded by a lobster.
Sorry, but Star Wars is teh gay. Seven-of-Nine beat it hands down.
I know it's a joke, but they totally should! For one thing, puppets with strings would have less wooden acting than the original cast. Second, Matt and Trey have the connections to do things like bring on Keanu Reeves's voice and have him be a red shirt that gets killed before he has a chance to actually say anything. I think if anyone could save the ailing Trek franchise, it'd be Matt and Trey.
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
...is if they did all real news and 1 really good april fools joke that at least tricked some idiots into posting long diatribes about how they are going to contact their senator or never buy another Snickers bar ever again.
They killed CmdrTaco!
Eternity: will that be smoking, or non-smoking? I Corinthians 6:9-10
maybe it's because I've suffered through years of these silly april fools postings, but come on already - we get it - it's april fools - these things really aren't very funny anymore; they're just plain dumb.
can we get back to real items only of interest to hard core geeks (and NOBODY else?)
I also hear they are going to introduce a new alien species that look a lot like fish...
Yeah... they're gonna call them "Fish"
...but I almost did a spit take anyway. Could be the best 0401 all day.
This April Fools thing is getting carried away. Next thing that will be reported is OSX for x86 and MS Linux.
MadOgre.com
It's just too much hassle (and too expensive) to persuade everybody that everything that was publicly announced on April 1st was meant completely seriously (if it was).
Wow! And I didn't think they could do anything more kill Star Trek. Good ol' Paramount, they can always find a new way to destroy that series. :-)
(No, I don't like South Park.)
--GrouchoMarx
Card-carrying member of the EFF, FSF, and ACLU. Are you?
Apparently no one told the /. editors that April Fools day ends at noon.
0110100100100000011000010110110100100000011000100
Then I grumble something about a "dead horse" and pledge to ignore Slashdot the rest of the day.
;)
But you never do, do you? You posting finger has given you away
That really sounds like a neat idea.
Usually April 1 is just about bearable, but they seem to have gone out of their way to overdo it this time.
In the meantime, have a look at the new Triumph Speed Triple. You may need a bib:
http://www.triumph.co.uk/uk/788.aspx
Peak torque at *5100* rpm. Mwhahahahahaha!!! Not 8,000 or 9,000 like some other hunks of junk.
Government of the people, by corporate executives, for corporate profits.
It's amazing the number of people that feel the need to point out that these stories are jokes.
The Braying and Neighing of Barnyard Animals Follows.
Is there going to be at least one straight news story today?
Yeah, you wish. It may be inspired by her, but we all know you're using your own hands to beat it.
Really. Enough is enough.
-- I have fans? Wow.
Congratulations! Netcraft confirms that you have just won the contest for renaming the BSD "Beastie" mascot. As your prize, you get a years supply of Ben Affleck "Gigli" DVDs. Enjoy!
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
Hey! Wait a minute, I kinda like that idea! Like a modern version of Thunderbirds. It's time for Star Trek in a different vein, a comedy would be good! This could work.
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
And maybe you need to stick the fish in your ear to hear what it is saying?
U know whut this means? Klingons can kill Kenny every week! Stan and Kyle up to their ears in green alien cooze, and More Anal Probes for Cartman (ok, the less special effects on that the better!)
I was very disappointed about Atlantis. Save the day in the last minute and closed ministories in each episode. That is lame. Even STE did this better in the last two series.
I'm sorry, but you lose this one. You conveniently left out:
1) Greedo shoots second.
2) Anakin in E1.
3) Anakin in E2.
4) Anakin in E3.
5) Mitochlorians.
6) Mark Hamill.
7) A BBEG named "Dooku".
8) Rebel fleet is commanded by a lobster.
who cares Greedo sucks BobaFett is so much better. your mad (and me) that Anakin is banging Portman in the movie. The Mitochlorians give you awesome powers like lightning and moving shit. and the rebels suck.
You know, the pope had better not die today, 'cause if he does, nobody is going to beleive the announcement!
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
Where funny goes to die.
Since when has this country used intellectual elite as a pejorative term?
..and a grand salute to you, Captain Obvious! Keep up the good work!
The jokes didn't even start all that funny, and here we have evidence of downward comic pressure.
it'd be nice if slashdot was at all useful today. like, if they had an option of "no jokes" mode...
ugh, this is so frustrating.
for the shot of adrenalin I got reading the headline only to find out it's fake. god damn you. God damn you to hell.
Dirty Pirate Hooker
Leave it to Slashdot to have April Fool's with an elbow in the ribs.
A Star Trek that isn't "totally gay"?
Hasn't Star Trek always been about knowledge, exploration and understanding?
Homophobia obviously has no place in this tradition as the joke underlines.
For the love of god, leave this franchise alone until you can find the equivalent of Jackson for LOTR.
Excuse ME!? I'm sorry, that's like making Saddam the leader for UNICEF or something.
Jackson's adaptation was _mediocre_. On a scale of 1 to 10, it would perhaps rate a 3 or a 4, but not more. Hell, I'd say 4 is being kind.
Sure, it looks good as an independent series, but it is NOT in anyway even close to Tolkien's works, and he quite literally did a horrible, HORRIBLE job of it.
Kubrick - now he is a man who'd have done a decent job of things. PJ is just an asshat who screwed up a wonderful series of books.
It's only a good April Fool's post if you manage to fool someone.
(That applies to all today's 'pranksters')
------ The best brain training is now totally free : )
Perhaps they can ship in Scott Bakula to save South Park in return. Because, let's face it, that show has gotten _tired_.
They then went on to comment: "We're also gonna re-do the opening title sequence," Stone revealed. "Record a new theme -- something bombastic, action-oriented. Y'know, something that isn't, like, totally gay.""
I vote for "Star Trekkin" by The Firm as the new theme song.
Sig cancelled due to lack of interest
admittedly, I was surprised that they did, but they've heard great things about Seattle song-writing, so the new theme song is:
"Noone Expects The Canadian Space Mounties"
[sung to the tune of "America", from their prior film Team America: World Police, which is probably why they liked it.
-- Tigger warning: This post may contain tiggers! --
I wish.
Read my short stories - You won't regret it.
is how they're going to fit those sweaters on the buff teenage boy dolls that are Ensigns First Class (Postage Due) ...
-- Tigger warning: This post may contain tiggers! --
ha ha!
I dont do meaning of life questions.
I don't know about you, but a DVD with a little as a short theatrical trailer of "Gigle" is enough to last me a lifetime!
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
EVAR!1! seriously.
IMAGE VERIFICATION IS EVIL!
I cant wait to see Mr Hanky the wonderborg poo go back in time with Locutus to spread christmas joy to all the boys and girls back on earth. Howdy Ho! we are borg and you will be confagulated !!!!
... AND MEAN WHILE BACK AT THE HALLS OF JUSTICE...
.... AND MEAN WHILE... SOMEWHERE AQUAMAN IS URINATIGN ON A DOLPHIN
.... And mean while back at the hall of justice... (i dont know how the superfriends got mixed into Trey and Matt's new Trek series, but those guys are geniouses.. so dont fucking complain!)
... And meanwhile.... Aquaman is smoking a cigarette underwater.... How the fuck does he do that?.... Meanwhile...
Yes i made that word up... It's sci fi ass... Invert the phase convertors and run a level 3 diagnostic. Engage mr Hat! Engage my sweet sweet ass mr Hat!
To boldy go where no hand puppet has gone before!
Spokstan turns captain Kile and raises an eyebrow
Spokstan: "Captain?"
Captain Kile: "What is it spok?"
Spokstan: "Dude this is fucked up right here"
(Spokstan pointing at cartman's ass full of mr Hat)
Aquaman: "Oh yeah.... Oh yeah... Flipper you naughty bitch"
Captain Kile "Do we address the needs of the few versus the needs of the many?"
Misc Crew/Red Shirt Cartman: "I need ta Keek yeee eeen da nuhuuuuttts!"
Show canceled...
AH fuck.
Bring back TNG!!!!
Dont forget to bring a Towel!
Timmah!
no one watches Star Trek anymore. Let them merge with Dr. Who to save money and consolidate management. That Enterprise series was just ancient history anyway.
Tag lost or not installed.
In terrible-but-not-actually-that-bad news from April 2nd, everyone who posted a "hilarious" story on the website "`Slashdot` during April 1st, was found brutally murdered to death early in the hours of this morning, having been repeatedly beaten with a dead horse it is rumoured they were flogging at the time.
Now here's Tom with the weather...
No kidding...I used to be a Star Trek fanatic before Voyager. Voyager basically made me lose interest in Star Trek period. I stuck with DS9 until the end and then just quit watching all of it. I still like pretty much anything pre-Voyager, but I've never even seen Enterprise, not sure it's even worth it. The problem is, with sci-fi, to enjoy it, you have to suspend disbelief to an extent, and Voyager made it so I can't do that with Star Trek anymore. I got into SG-1 in the past year when I got a computer fast enough to play my roommate's downloaded episodes. I wasn't expecting to like it (I liked the movie, but I didn't like how they changed the actors for the series...until I wathced it), but I got hooked pretty fast. The next thing I know, I have seasons 1-7 on DVD and have seen all of it at least twice. I went back and tried to watch some TNG after that, and even the best of TNG sucks in comparison to Stargate.
Go do it.
emt 377 emt 4
April 1st is the WORST day to use the internet.
Every web site operator seems to fell compelled to pull some kind of goofy trick or have some kind of bogus story.
It might have been funny 10 years ago. But guess what folks, its been done.
Enough already.
April 1 is just another day.
-Michael
Threshold RPG
So who jumps out and says April Fools
Yeah, Stargate rocks.
But I'm a little unhappy with RDA going off the show, however I do like Ben Browder (he was awesome in Farscape), so I hope SG-1 doesn't go the way of the dodo.
On the other hand, while Atlantis isn't _bad_, it still doesn't compare to SG-1. Yet.
I'm going to go hide now. You can't find me.
I'm a virgo and on Slashdot. Coincidence? Yes.
"Of course, we have no visual effects budget whatsoever, so we won't be painting out the strings."
sort of like an old dr. who episode....
putting the 'B' in LGBTQ+