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Statler And Waldorf From the Balcony
An Anonymous Reader wrote in to mention Statler and Waldorf From the Balcony, a short feature on movies.com where the surly Muppets review current films. From the site: "This Week's Episode -
Will War of the Worlds' aliens scare off our cranky coots? Will Bewitched be the end of Will? Plus, Pepe the Prawn begs Miss Congeniality to cuff him."
this sucks!!! doesn't it?
Well, it's not as bad as some of Zonk's other stuff. Yeah, it's not a dupe. I suppose this is okay. Yeah, it's not bad. In fact, it's pretty interesting. I'd like more stories like this. Encore! Encore!
When the Muppets have sold out, there's no use in fighting it anymore. The world is a dark, despicable place. I might as well join the dark side. Can anyone think of any great ways I can screw my fellow man?
The voices, manerisms, etc are all WAY off...
Are any of the muppets not being pimped now? Miss piggie and kermit are selling pizza, ugg...
- Adam L. Beberg - The Cosm Project - http://www.mithral.com/
I waldorfed violently from my balcony when I saw that muppets were being abused. Do we call PETA or ACLU on this one?
I'll be your candy shop of infinite deliciousity if you'll be my discotheque of endless rump-shaking.
The writing is pretty bad, nothing witty or zinging about it.
They don't bad mouth it properly, even when an act was amazing on the Muppet Show they'd hate it. With this they're playing it too soft.
I think it would be hard for them to have come up with a worse idea, except maybe if it were to get into extremely bad racist jokes, violence and sexual content. That's about the only thing they could have done to make this a worse desecration of my childhood.
I'm sick of following my dreams - I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
"That was TERRIBLE!"
Sorry I'm afraid we're all out of waldorfs
Two weeks ago. I'm waiting for them to update it for their take on this weeks' movies.
--
# Canmephians for a better Linux Kernel
$Stalag99{"URL"}="http://stalag99.net";
Zzzzzzzzz...
If only Henson had lived, we might not be visited with these travesties.
If my grammar and spelling are off, I am [distracted/tired/careless] (take your pick)
...but good to see that people still have an interest in the muppets.
You moved your mouse. Please restart Windows for changes to take effect.
It's from akamai, so it won't get slashdoted.
well, with all the other comments, i'm now glad that i'm now able to view it. (why bother to support yet another format?)
Don't call me back. Give me a call back. Bye. So yeah. But bye our, well, but alright we are on a shirt this chill.
But the original hecklers on the muppet show had more venom than what these jokers had to show..
Better scripting fellas!
First rule of holes; When in one, stop digging.
after the first 5 seconds, the slashdot monster cut the power.
No, not funny.
Please don't link to files using proprietary encoding formats from Microsoft.
fuck was that?
i expected some witty and funny stuff and all i got was the content mafia abusing two puppets to promote their latest brain farts.
Nows my chance to sell all the wasabi-peas I've collected that look like statler and/or waldorf.
Good times ahead!
Does this imply some sort of Muppet porn flick? I'd watch that for a dollar!
"Who are in control, they are not in control of anything - they don't even control themselves!" - Glen Beck
Hmmm... Disney borged the muppets and is finally slutting them out. It seems strangely appropriate that it's delivered only via a Microsoft product. Although you would think if they were going to slut out characters they would have stuck with one that didn't have any standards... Cranky old guys should never been slutted out. Too darn unappealing to pull it off.
the clock on the wall says 4 til 7
No longer living doesnt mean that we cannot expect a comporable performance. Elvis is dead as well but I saw him perform last week - and let me tell you the guy has not lost a step.
I was never a real muppet fan but these characters always killed me, it was sad to see that the creative team behind this little endeavor didnt make sure that the characters were "done right."
But hey, this was a first, hopefully they will take the constructive criticism and go back to work.
---- The real Slashdot is still here. You just have to browse at -1 to read the comments.
Copyrights may be forever, but the visions and ethics of the creators do not often survive their deaths.
"I'm not impatient. I just hate waiting." - My Dad
Whatever happened to Thugs on Film?
One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
An aside..
Their rating of WotW was falling asleep in the beginning to be awoken by the massive explosions.
Went to see this with my dad, who actually did fall asleep during the beginning of the movie. And the explosions didn't even wake him up, I had to poke him awake.
No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There's always a boom tomorrow. - Cmdr. Susan Ivanova
Yeah, no, instead let's all happily link to mov files instead... oh, wait, we need a propriety player for that too.
Oh, and if I actually want to watch it fullscreen I have to PAY for the damn privilage... I don't think so.
Ridiculous anti MS drivel.
And yes, I know there are alternatives to using quicktime itself... but there are for wmv files too... I didn't write the first post did I?
If you listen carefully you can hear Jim Henson doing 6,000 rpm in his grave.
I am a believer of momentum and curves.
Weird.
People have been accusing me of being out of touch with the rest of the world. I guess this cements it.
I thought it was funny, and the kind of thing I'd watch every week. Not super funny, mind you, but good enough to see again.
The Internet is generally stupid
They strayed from everything that made these guys funny in the first place..
Way too much chatter, and far too 'happy'.. it's supposed to be short glib responses that are cynical and comedic, not conversational or 'talk-show-host'.
Way to totally miss the boat on this one, this is a disgrace.
An Anonymous Reader gave us a kickback to mention Statler and Waldorf From the Balcony...
How we know is more important than what we know.
The one time I should have read the comments here before "RTFA"-ing (that is, going through all the work of hitting ctrl-i, going to the media tab, save-as on the embed object, pulling up VLC and watching the video). Would have saved me from a whole lot of disappointment. :(
But hey, look on the bright side. Maybe I'll suffer from sudden short term memory loss, and thus have these guys remain pure and unspoiled for me.
*goes hit himself on the head with a baseball bat*
I remember a long time ago, my Sunday School teacher told me: "Some people will tell you that there are two ways to get people to listen to you: speak loudly, or slap them around quickly to get their attention."
Did anyone else catch what exactly Pepe called Sandra's movie. ("Miss Congenitalia")
The Muppets weren't explicitly promoting the films. As evidenced by the fact that they trashed Bewitched.
it's WMP... I'm not gona bother... Seriously... who in their right mind even has that installed? Gimmie quicktime or gimmie nothin.
"Nevermind."
This way to the egress...
"The Sesame Street Gang Learns Something New"
Grover was really bored, one day. Big Bird was collecting cans for
the poor, and Oscar the Grouch was in one of his pissed-off moods
again. So he decided to go over to Maria's house.
"Hi, Maria!" Grover exclaimed as he entered. The sight he saw was one
he would not soon forget. Maria lay on the couch, wearing nothing but
a pair of high-heeled shoes. She had one of her fingers deep inside
her wet pussy, the digit probing and caressing her inner membranes.
She looked up and saw Grover, and was startled; she had not expected
any company. But a lewd grin soon replaced her initial look of
apprehension; she invited Grover to join her on the couch.
Now Grover, you see, was a virgin. He didn't ever admit it to any of
the other Sesame Street gang, but he had never even felt a girl's
tits. So you can imagine the wave of pleasure that swept over him.
Without a word, Grover approached Maria, and crawled on top of her.
Since muppets don't wear clothes, he didn't have to undress. He
reached between his legs, and from the jungle of blue fur extracted a
huge blue cock, hairy from end to end. It was already fully erect,
and fit to burst. With one deft move, Maria parted her pussy lips,
already wet from masturbation, and Grover soon filled her void with
his heaving azure member. He pumped up and down on Maria, the
sensuous movement bringing his excitement to a fever pitch. The
puppeteers had their hands full that day! Maria was experiencing a
whole new world of pleasure, herself; she had never fucked a muppet
before, and it proved to be an incredible experience.
Grover soon exploded inside her, his warm fuzzy dick going off like a
cannon deep within Maria. She screamed, as she was climaxing at the
same time. She grabbed ahold of Grover's blue shoulders, and almost
wept on his shoulder, so powerful was the experience.
But Grover wasn't done yet. His furry member had gone soft, and he
wanted it hard again. So he leaned over, and took one of Maria's pert
breasts in his mouth. His plush tongue caressed and fondled the
nipple, and Maria moaned at the pleasure of it. The nipple was very
hard, and Grover was having a delightful time, tasting bare tit for
the first time. Soon Maria decided it was her turn to have a little
"taste" of the action. She shoved Grover off her tit, and bent down.
With both hands she grasped his monstrous cock, and began to stroke
it, slowly at first, then with greater and greater intensity. Grover
(actually Frank Oz) moaned and cried at the incredible feeling. The
member was soon hard as a rock, and Maria lifted it to her eager lips.
She devoured his cock with great appetite, sliding her mouth up and
down the plush boner, and with her hands she stroked his blue balls.
Grover, by this time, was about ready to come, and he cried out;
simultaneously, great bursts of white cum exploded from his member
into Maria's mouth, and she eagerly swallowed the divine nectar of his
loins. She was pleasantly surprised to find it tasted like
marshmallows.
Grover knew he must have more. He turned Maria around, so she was on
all fours; he licked and sucked her ass and pussy, burying his big
furry head between her creamy thighs. Soon, he was erect again; and
without another word, he proceeded to drive his massive rod into her
ass, again and again. He was like an animal. Maria cried out in a
mixture of pain and ecstasy: "Oh, Grover, Yes, Grover!" Grover knew,
as he came one more time, that learning letters and numbers just
wasn't going to cut it anymore.
At about this time, Bert and Ernie stopped by Maria's. They were going
to go miniature golfing. But when they saw the vicious fucking on the
couch, they knew that they were staying right there. They quickly
stripped, and Bert fucked Ernie's ass so hard that Ernie screamed.
Bert bucked back and forth lik
There's a lot of negativity about it but it's not that bad. I'll admit the voice of Statler is FAR off and seems strained but Waldorf isn't that bad. If they had better voicing for Statler and were more acerbic then it'd be excellent, as it is it's still entertaining. I get the feeling most of the ./ers just tuned out after the WotW preview but if you watched it all the way they lay into Will Farrell and the Bewitched film pretty heavily :) In true keeping with their character.
Tighten up the writing, replace Statler's voice and this is a hit.
The original voices for Statler and Waldorf are two members of the original team, who have passed away.
Richard Hunt, who was the original voice of Waldorf, he passed away in 1992. Jim Henson was the original voice of Statler and the world lost him back in 1990.
It seems that the new voice of Waldorf is now being performed by Dave Goelz who is the voice of Gonzo the Great, Fozzie Bear and Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. While, now, Jerry Nelson is doing the voice of Statler. Mind you, it's a reprise of the role. He played it in one of the original pilots for the show, 'Sex and Violence'.
All in all, the new voices completely bother me. I have to say that the new voices bother me more than anything else about the new Muppets. It makes it very difficult to try and be objective about the new Muppets when Jim Henson was personally responsible for many of the characters' voices.
Statler: Bravo!
Waldorf: Well it was quite good!
Statler: Well they could have been better!
Waldorf: Actually it wasn't all that great!
Statler: In fact some parts of it were really bad
Waldorf: It was quite TERRIBLE!
Statler: It was horrible!
Together: BOOOOO!
READY.
PRINT ""+-0
these are not the muppets you were looking for.
They'd never sell.
Slashdot has no control over the quality, they just wanted to let you know that it was out there. Why would you block the editor, instead of the submitter.
You must have been trained by the government on how and where to assign blame, weren't you?
I just clicked one link, and it started playing right away!
To answer your question, everyone who runs Windows, and many people running alternative OSes with players that support WiMP's codec set... which is a lot of people.
How can you be so enamored with a player that doesn't even support playlists, anyway?
You do realize they sold out back in the late 50s.. Jim Henson created muppet commercials for Wilkins Coffee starting in 1957, making over 300. http://www.kermitage.com/html/collectibles/rarestu ffnew/page1.html
"Waste not one watt!" - CZ
Zonk is much much better than that Troll micheal.
I hate Waldorf. All those raisins and apples and those little BITS of CELERY, bleech! Makes me wanna vom all over the place. Stupid puppet men leave a bad taste in my mouth.
Best line - and it wasn't even delivered by Statler or Waldorf.
They need a new compatriot in the balcony - somebody named Hilton would do...
How are those trousers coming?
Richard Steven Hack - This sig is TOO GODDAMN SHORT TO DO ANYTHING USEFUL WITH! MORONS!
I have it installed, I don't do it because it doesn't work with Firefox.
How much did An Anonymous Reader pay for this content-free advertisement?
There's a book an Amazon called "What a Way to Go: Fabulous Funerals of the Famous and Infamous" about interesting funerals, and Jim Henson's in it. They don't have the entire letter, just a quote which might help you...
Yeah, I searched a bit and couldn't find *anything* which is odd, since I thought the entire human collective knowledge was out there
Good luck ! Post it or email me if you find it.
"Whoever would overthrow the liberty of a nation must begin by subduing the freeness of speech."--Benjamin Franklin
However, the fact that this weapon of mass brain cell destruction has now been posted on the front page of Slashdot must be one of the most evil acts of cyber terrorism ever to hit the US.
If jagoff here had identified himself as one of the heads of Disney it could have been Informative, but otherwise it's just someone saying their opinion.
The flag you were looking for is called "Insightful".
Christ, how stupid are the people with the points today?
If I'm going to watch puppets make fun of movies, it'd be the seasoned professionals who are actually funny and aren't owned by Disney.
Slashdot Burying Stories About Slashdot Media Owned
Considering how many first posts I've seen marked 'Redundant', I'm not holding my breath for total compliance with sane moderating practices :)
Sesame Street, 25 of My Favorite Memories