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Iran Tries To Pacify Protesters With Lord of The Rings Marathon
Iranian state television's Channel Two is playing a Lord of the Rings marathon in an attempt to keep people inside watching hobbits and not protesting in the streets. Normally, people in Tehran are treated to one or two Hollywood movies a week, but with recent events the government hopes that sitting through a nine-hour trilogy will take the fight out of most of the protesters. Perhaps this was not the best choice in films if you want your people not to believe that "even the smallest person can change the course of the future."
Bah, I didn't like those movies at all. If I was in Iran, I'd probably be so pissed off that they're showing me such garbage that I'd take to the streets and wreck at least a couple of cars.
Well, speaking for myself, I wanted to kill people on the exit from 2 out 3 of those movies, so this may not achieve the intended effect.
ad logicam Claiming a proposition is false because it was presented as the conclusion of a fallacious argument.
Lord of the rings in the original farsi! Can someone tape it for me?
Since beer is already off the list for Iranians, that leaves only one option.
They're just copying the American Way (TM) to pacify their serfs. Barrage them with movies, commercials, and scantily clad women.
The epic bore of the century is guaranteed to achieve that.
I'd be pissed that the were only showing 9 hours instead of 14
I Don't Work Here
Maybe the Iranian censor board will be able to cut out anything unneeded and make the movies more compact and watchable. I love the movies, but they can induce numbness to the posterior if watched more than one at a time.
I can just see the planners of the revolution getting all giddy about the kind of pulling together against evil these movies can inspire. LOL
They oppress the people = they're evil.
They listen to the will of the people, win an election and give the people what they want = they're evil.
You can't have it both ways Western World!
This blonde dude surfs on a shield, and he stabs these goblins in the eye with arrows! Dude's so hardcore he don't even need a bow! Yah dude, those lords of the rings are righteous! I totally don't wanna overthrow the Ayatollah anymore after watching that...I just wanna lay back and burn some 'hobbit leaf,' know what I'm sayin', bra?
(-1, Raw and Uncut is the only way to read)
I suppose I could make some joke about how Soviet Russia fell because they tried to pacify the public with a Sergei Eisenstein marathon and a special once-in-a-lifetime uninterrupted screening of Dziga Vertov's Tchelovek Skinoapparatom. But what are we to do when totalitarians have access to high-quality Hollywood content!
They've probably re-dubbed the movie in Farsi to make Sauron the good guy. This has happened before; when Mr. Smith Goes to Washington was screened in Eastern Europe, it was only in a dubbed version that made Taylor and Senator Paine into capitalist oligarchs, with Smith fighting for his worker's soviet back home.
Don't blame me, I voted for Baltar.
Where is my vo... Ooh! Legolas!
People will just turn this on, go bored out of their minds and start rioting the broadcast stations
from 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0
to 45 2F 6E 40 3C DF 10 71 4E 41 DF AA 25 7D 31 3F
What kind of link is that? It brings me to Salon.com's main page.
I'll try anything once. Twice if it tastes good
Did they get the rights to that?
Of course! Have you noticed Ahmadinejad's height? He is as tall as a hobbit, so they try to portray him as the savior of the world! Not sure if his feet are hairy, though.
"A day may come when the courage of men fails ... But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand, men of ... Iran! Allahu Akbar!"
This being Slashdot, and given the topic that consumes so much of our time these days, my question is...
Since they obviously pulled this out of the hat in a rapid series of decision to help quell the masses, did they properly secure rights to be showing them?
It's extremely disheartening to read about governments pacifying their entire population. Whether it's here in the USA or abroad. :(
"Be prepared, son. That's my motto. Be prepared." --Joe Hallenbeck
the RIAA on the Iranian government.
Problem solved.
They should have showed 300 instead.
one islamic regime to rule them all
and scantily clad women.
You've said it!
You should see some of the new burqas and chadors they are shipping to the stores. Sexy as hell.
You can almost see the eyebrows.
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
So the tyrants of Iran are blaming this whole mess on the American media, then they're tying to placate the protesters with American media? A movie trilogy about a bunch of people banding together to overthrow an evil tyrant no less. Nobody could draw parallels between things like the dark riders and the police riding motorcycles beating people with clubs.
The sense of irony is weak with the Iranian dictatorship...
And that was the last Terry Fox run I ever participated in.
Or else at mass when they get the host they'd all go "more Lamdas bread... *sigh*".
My webcomic
Bunch of meddlesome twats, right? Yeah, Iranian people. You get the comparison, right? Because nobody likes Gandalf, the same way nobody likes America!!!
Heh. This is the most tone-deaf thing I've heard about since the operation to capture Saddam. Codename for that one? Red Dawn. What did they use as identifiers for Iraqi positions around Saddam? Wolverine 1, Wolverine 2, etc. If you're going to make allusions to movies, try not to pick one where you're comparing yourself to the Soviets.
Kwisatz Haderach
Sell the spice to CHOAM
This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
One does not walk into Tehran.
Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
After they saw how they lost sleeper cell after sleeper cell here in the US:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/after_5_years_in_u_s_terrorist
.
.
Doctors destroy health, lawyers destroy justice, universities destroy knowledge, religion destroys spirituality
Great choice, show everyone they need to stand up and fight against evil forces trying to gain power over everyone. Yes that'll really Pacify Protesters.
Perhaps tomorrow they can show everyone George Orwell's 1984.
Taking a lesson from the American government it looks like. Keep giving people food and entertainment and maybe they forget how their rights are being trampled on.
I judt got a nre Kinesis keybiartf so please excusr ant egregiou typos.
current cor3 were
Fortunately in the version edited for Iran and translated into Pharsi, the Hobbits are working to combat the idolators, and re-establish Sharia in Middle Earth.
This space for rent. All reasonable inquiries will be entertained at proprietors discretion.
Maybe the Iranians can figure out why Frodo didn't just ride the eagles to Mt. Doom in the first place.
This is my signature.
soid st egr.hyTa rsiugm usnin
Any questions?
their new hobbit overlord.
Oh wait! That's North Korea ... my bad!
Que Deus te de em dobro o que me desejas
[May God give you double that which you wish for me]
Hung has been reedited and retitled to Hung Zionist.
I hope the films inspire the people not already out in the streets to join the ones that are. The new revolution will be twittered.
American Gladiators
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
If they want people to stop, V for Vendetta would have been a much better choice IMO.
The enemy of our enemy is our friend? Then, they hear out everybody's windows.... FREEDOM!!!
From what I've heard, most people voted for a Star Trek marathon, not LOTR. The Guardian Council denies anything is wrong with the vote count, despite the official count being 17 billion votes for LOTR vs -8 for Star Trek.
I wonder if this is going to cause any trouble...
How about Star Wars then....
"They're thieves, they're thieves! They're filthy little thieves! Where is it? Where is it? They ssstole it from us... my precioussss. Curse them! We hates them! It's ours, it is, and we wants it!"
That's what iranians will say about the election after the movies.
Come on, do you seriously think they are seeing the theatrical release. No way in hell, shit the version of the trilogy they get is 20 minutes of drama before Sauron gets the ring and 8 hours and 40 minutes of Sauron enslaving everyone.
Doing as Fox news is already doing for years, they will slowly learn how to control the masses with television. Nice work Iran.
Life really is stranger than fiction. This is hilarious, the onion would be hard pressed in besting it. Seriously. A LOTR marathon to distract people. I wonder if it would be funnier if it actually worked, or if it didn't...
One Movie to Rule Them All...
One Movie to find them...
One Movie to bring them all and in the darkness bind them!
I've nothing of importance to say, now go away before I taunt you with a second sig!
The Iranian protests are as scripted as Lord of the Rings. The CIA should have hired Peter Jackson since he's not going to direct The Hobbit. I'm sure CNN would have donated some $$$ for their 24 hour coverage.
An eagle that can pick up Hobbits at the extreme of its range and return them should be able to manage a magic ring or two on its own. If Lord of the Rings was science fiction, Frodo and the hobbits would have distracted the Nazgul while the eagles disposed of the Ring, it would have been one volume, and I wouldn't have wasted two weeks reading it all when I was 15.
From scarped cliff or quarried stone she cries "A thousand types are gone, I care for nothing, no not one."
Just let my 8 year old son watch the fellowship lat night for the first time.... Fun trying to get him to sleep last night, lol
That way, Frodo starts out near-death from exposure to the outside world, but ends up happy at home, blissfully ignorant of what's going on outside the shire, while his ancient and powerful Supreme Leader takes care of all that messy 'freedom' stuff....
- Despite popular opinion, I am not perfect.
if the rest of the map is europe, mordor is pretty much persia
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
Braveheart?
Two Rules For Success:
1) Never tell people everything you know.
Of course this is a good idea, why do you think every mini-van in america comes with DVD players and TV's. It's the easiest way to get kids to stop fighting.
It will take more than 9 hours of programming, try for at least 12.
I would suggest next showing 300 followed by V for Vendetta. That should pacify them.
Don't you know that when you want to stop riots, you do it with a Godfather of Soul concert!
I swear to God...I swear to God! That is NOT how you treat your human!
It's always funny to watch a bunch of nerds trying to pass as jocks.
Guys, you're not fooling anyone!
Will we see "Frodo Lives!" in Farsi now?
by bombarding the population with the Great Satan's dwarfs.
"GIVE US OUR VOT- wait Frodo don't go in there! NOOOOOOOOOOO"
Come on; it doesn't matter which U.S. state the film was made in; the point is it's all American media.
the practice of bread and circuses goes back to ancient times, in all world cultures, and has been in continuous use since forever. you even use the goddamn latin words to describe the practice, showing you know it was once roman in convention, but apparently you're hatred of the usa is such that you can't even make the superficial connection
you know its ok to hate the american government. you are 100% vindicated and it is your right to do that. there is plenty to hate about the usa. fuck the usa. i am not defending the usa
all i ask from you is some logical coherence: if you want to at least pretend that you stand for some sort of principles, rather than simply being a blatantly transparent antiamerican tool, you should try to apply the principles you stand for equally to all world governments
in other words, its actually ok to hate the us government AND hate the iranian govt at the same time. imagine fucking that. hating the usa does not mean you have to love iran or view it as a victim, and visa versa
the enemy of your enemy is not really necessarily your friend. that is, unless you are simply trying to be yet another braindead partisan player in the geopolitical games that create so much of the suffering in this world. suffering you probably loathe. and yet you play the game, all the same, by taking sides. a hypocrite, rather than actually taking the principles you say you stand for to heart, and hating all the players in the game
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
with Walmart, The Big Story, and American Idol.
Yours In Communism,
Kilgore Trout
"One does not simply walk into Tehran..."
"The great "eye"atollah is ever watchful..."
"Riders! In burqas!"
"Do not meddle in the affairs of Muslims, for they are subtle and quick to anger"
"The battle for Iraq is over, the jihad for Middle-east is about to begin..."
"The bomb will not save Iran. It only has the power to destroy..."
"Authority is not given to you to deny the votes, Mahmoud" "The rule of Iran is mine! And no other's!
"In the land of Iran, in the fires of Mosque Doom..."
I bet this means that president ape is the hobbit who wants to change the world!
That's actually pretty clever. Show LOTR because people will actually want to watch it, and then once you get them inside watching television you can follow it up with a Star Wars marathon and then you gradually work your way down the quality meter until you've got them watching Jerry Lewis telethons and My Mother the Car. By then they'll be too lethargic and braindead to even remember to vote, much less want to bother. Problem solved.
Cut that out, or I will ship you to Norilsk in a box.
Perhaps this was not the best choice in films if you want your people not to believe that "even the smallest person can change the course of the future.
On the other hand, it does reinforce the notion that brown people are a fallen race of brutes that are incapable of even the most basic language, let alone organized self-government. If the Iranians start believing that canard, then there goes the revolution.
Then again, JRRT's solution is that a nice little white dude from England will come fix it up for you because he's so damned pure of spirit and incorruptible by evil (hah). Of course, he will bring with him some elves and dwarves (also white), a wizard with the surname "the white" and some other random white dude that claims the right to be King because his daddy was King and he has a nice looking sword (that apparently being a perfectly good reason to assert your right to absolute authority).
Somehow, I don't think the Ayatollahs want that conclusion sinking in either.
After the Kremlin exited Eastern Europe, the peoples of each nation in Eastern Europe rapidly established a genuine democracy and a free market. Except for Romania (where its people killed their dictator), there was no violence.
In Iran (and many other failed states), no external force is imposing the current brutal government on the Iranians. The folks running the government are Iranian. The president is Iranian. The secret police are Iranian. The thugs who will torture and kill democracy advocates are Iranian.
If the democracy advocates attempt to establish a genuine democracy in Iran, violence will occur. Why? A large percentage of the population supports the brutal government and will kill the democracy advocates.
Let us not merely condemn the Iranian government. We must condemn Iranian culture. Its product is the authoritarian state.
We should not intervene in the current crisis in Iran. If the overwhelming majority of Iranians (like the overwhelming majority of Poles) truly support democracy, human rights, and peace with Israel, then a liberal Western democracy will arise -- without any violence. Right now, the overwhelming majority clearly oppose the creation of a liberal Western democracy. The Iranians love a brutal Islamic theocracy.
The Iranians created this horrible society. It is none of our business unless they attempt to develop nuclear weapons. We in the West are morally justified in destroying the nuclear-weapons facilities.
Note that, 40 years ago, Vietnam suffered a worse fate (than the Iranians) at the hands of the Americans. They doused large areas of Vietnam with agent orange, poisoning both the land and the people. Yet, the Vietnamese do not channel their energies into seeking revenge (by, e. g., building a nuclear bomb) against the West. Rather, the Vietnamese are diligently modernizing their society. They will reach 1st-world status long before the Iranians.
Cultures are different. Vietnamese culture and Iranian culture are different. The Iranians bear 100% of the blame for the existence of a tyrannical government in Iran. We should condemn Iranian culture and its people.
Hurka Durka Muhammad Jihad
Stupidity only gets you so far, then you've gotta try
I see they have adopted the US form of population control.
"Give them cheap food and cheaper entertainment and you'll be able to do whatever you want."
Be gone from my sight or prepare to feel my flaming wraith!
... Braveheart.
After the Kremlin exited Eastern Europe, the peoples of each nation in Eastern Europe rapidly established a genuine democracy and a free market. Except for Romania (where its people killed their dictator), there was no violence.
In Iran (and many other failed states), no external force is imposing the current brutal government on the Iranians. The folks running the government are Iranian. The president is Iranian. The secret police are Iranian. The thugs who will torture and kill democracy advocates are Iranian.
If the democracy advocates attempt to establish a genuine democracy in Iran, violence will occur. Why? A large percentage of the population supports the brutal government and will kill the democracy advocates.
Let us not merely condemn the Iranian government. We must condemn Iranian culture. Its product is the authoritarian state.
We should not intervene in the current crisis in Iran. If the overwhelming majority of Iranians (like the overwhelming majority of Poles) truly support democracy, human rights, and peace with Israel, then a liberal Western democracy will arise -- without any violence. Right now, the overwhelming majority clearly oppose the creation of a liberal Western democracy. The Iranians love a brutal Islamic theocracy.
The Iranians created this horrible society. It is none of our business unless they attempt to develop nuclear weapons. We in the West are morally justified in destroying the nuclear-weapons facilities.
Note that, 40 years ago, Vietnam suffered a worse fate (than the Iranians) at the hands of the Americans. They doused large areas of Vietnam with agent orange, poisoning both the land and the people. Yet, the Vietnamese do not channel their energies into seeking revenge (by, e. g., building a nuclear bomb) against the West. Rather, the Vietnamese are diligently modernizing their society. They will reach 1st-world status long before the Iranians.
Cultures are different. Vietnamese culture and Iranian culture are different. The Iranians bear 100% of the blame for the existence of a tyrannical government in Iran. We should condemn Iranian culture and its people.
another movie they protested: alexander
also: the wrestler
why?
one of mickey rourke's opponents in the ring is called "the ayatollah". nevermind the fact that in the movie "the ayatollah" is actually the wrestler's good friend when they are out of the ring. the irony of nationalism being a superficial game for the sake of ridiculous shallow spectacle apparently escapes a real ultranationalist iranian
http://carpetbagger.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/12/16/wrestling-with-the-ayatollah/
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
How does that work with copyright laws? Sovereign immunity?
College-Pages.com - Online Colleges, Degrees, and Programs
If you read the Silmarillion, it's pretty obvious that Melkor/Morgoth is an analogue of Lucifer/Satan.
I write sci-fi for metalheads
They could have used a better trilogy then that to pass time...STAR WARS comes to mind in the most hours passed behind a TV!
I myself would have maybe done the Band of brothers.....oh wait a minute...!
is the only movie that would have pushed the irony meter higher.
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
Then, after the Kremlin exited Eastern Europe in 1989, the peoples of each nation in Eastern Europe removed their authoritarian goverment and rapidly established a genuine democracy and a free market. Except for Romania (where its people killed their dictator), there was no violence.
That is how people act when they want freedom and free markets.
In 1979, after the Iranian people overthrow the despot whom the Americans supported, the Iranians immediately established a brutal, authoritarian theocracy.
That is how people act when they reject both freedom and free markets.
Cultures are different. Eastern-European culture and Iranian culture are different. The Iranians bear 100% of the blame for the existence of a tyrannical government in Iran. We should condemn Iranian culture and its people.
mindless ethnocentrism and partisanship drives me into a rage
sorry (not really)
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
I guess jingling his keys at them and driving them around the block over and over again didn't work, so he's trying this.
Are YOU using the TOOL, or is the TOOL using YOU? Think about it!
Iran is involved in a sort of tech war of information. Are the Iranian leaders buying into the stereotype that all geeky/nerd types are Sci/fi fans? But knowing how much I like the trilogy it could work over here in the states. Damn you Peter Jackson!
Calvin: It says here, "Religion is the opiate of the masses."...What do you suppose that means? ...It means Karl Marx hasn't seen anything yet...
TV:
Davo -- Free speech, free software, AND free beer.
One Achmed to rule them all, One Achmed to find them, One Achmed to bring them all and to their camels bind them
Hope is the currency of fools
The scenes where Frodo is looking longingly into Sam's eyes (after the ring is destroyed and just before Frodo ships out with the elves) would be enough to get people on the streets, protesting that the government put such crap on TV!
"In the absence of an external interfering force (e. g., army of the Soviet Union), the fate of a nation is determined by its people. Period. "
No country operates in a vaccuum. Period.
A sentence that is an ordinary kind of statement should usually end with a period. Period.
Bow-ties are cool.
Hits all the same neural pathways and you don't have to risk life or limb.
TV has killed us. This is not a funny story. It's a pathetic foot note.
Think: If everybody went on strike for one week, clear across the country, the government would beg us to go back to work. They'd give us anything. It works in France. The government coffers won't last long without regular tax uptake.
Let's all strike. Eat out of cans for ten days. Block the streets. No violence. Just a total shutdown. Let the Rich people's toilets stop flushing and see how long it takes to close Guantanamo.
Of course, it won't happen if you own and watch a TV. (Though it'd be funny trying to see Fox spin the whole thing like the desperate stuffed shirts they are.)
-FL
What kind geek would watch the 9 hour version when there is a 12 hour version?
It's funny that now they are influencing their own people with Western Influences. FRODO AKBAR!!!
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education." --Mark Twain
Is it an african or european eagle?
If you quote this signature there'll be 72 copies of Windows ME waiting for you in Heaven.
People should not be afraid of their government. Governments should be afraid of their people.
You know, the Iranian people seem to have achieved this.
That which does not kill us makes us... st
Hobbits, Gimli & Legolas : The people who got cheated out of their vote.
Boromir : Some weak polititian.
Gandalf & Aragorn : Mir Hossein Moussavi.
Saruman : Ahmadinejad.
Sauron : Khameini.
Orcs : The revolution guard.
Other supporting villains : Basij militia.
If you quote this signature there'll be 72 copies of Windows ME waiting for you in Heaven.
It also teaches you to do what the crazy old man with the long beard tells you, no matter how insane it sounds at the time.
Although they probably know it already well enough...
(Check last 30 secs if nothing else)
Now the comment field is about 3cm wide.
Not for me, it isn't.
(and it does work with 3.5RC2 if you hack maxVersion in install.rdf)
In Soviet Russia a beowulf cluster of these things imagines you welcoming your new, neural-network overlords.
Oh wow! I always hope for rain on election day to keep the lazy voters home, but I hadn't thought of using TV...
One does not simply Mordor into Iran
I always thought Saruman looked like Khomeini. Betcha he fed on man flesh too.
This is exactly why the world hates us, the corrupt governments of the world point to our corrupt government and says "It's not MY fault I'm this way!"
genuinely funny, even in the sad context of violence and oppression.
"Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason."
Who killed JFK, and what happened to Building 7?
Our government is totally better.
I hold very few opinions. I hold information based on observation and fact. If you wish to disagree, please use facts.
It's showing up all screwy compared to other /. stories.
upvoted for the awesome dept tag. nice to see someone else likes the hobbit cartoon!
Media that can be recorded and distributed can be recorded and distributed.
-kfg
Several states had more votes than voters in the 200 presidential election.
I wonder why Obama is having a hard time criticizing the Iranian ruling structure, at the same time that Acorn added, "International", to their name.
As Arsenio Hall was fond of saying, it's just a thing that makes you say, hmmm.
come, on, this story has gotta be fake. I know this is Iran, but how could anyone think this film series could ever calm down the hordes in the street? I mean even black robed persian women are rational, aren't they?
If you must moderate, please moderate as irrelevent, not something bad, because I'm sure someone will find this interest
Oh man, that would -so- work on me.
It could be argued that Tolkien, being a dyed-in-the-wool legitimist, would have supported the duly constituted Iranian government in suppressing protests. But I disagree with that - his letters show that he took the Fascist anti-government side in the Spanish civil war.
This is funny. They should pull off a star wars marathon as well !
Bottom line, people want peace, we all love each other, our masters are the ones who make us fight.
Russian LOTR readers quite often identify with orcs or easterlings. People under the red sign, from the east, to whom "free people of the west" want to bring just rule, proper king or maybe just exterminate. There is a lot of fan-fiction written from point of view of orcs, or simpatizing to orcs, most notable of wich are Perumov's "Ring of Darkness" and Eskov's "The Last Ringbearer"
Ayatollah Sauron opposed this viewing.