Why are you here? It ain't the money. A network engineer, yours truly -- I rake in about, what, 85 grand a year? You can't buy a decent sports car for that. It ain't sex. Hey, being here won't get you laid. Oh, you're a dental hygienist? I'm a Cisco Certified Internetwork Expert. -Hello?! What about fame? Our failures are known. Our successes...are not. That's the company motto. You save the world, they send you to some windowless office, give you a little lemonade and cookies, and show you your medal. You don't even get to take it home. So it ain't money, it ain't sex, it ain't fame. What is it? I say we are all here in this room because we believe. We believe in technology, and we choose technology. We believe in right and wrong, and we choose right. Our cause is just. Our enemies...everywhere. They're all around us. Some scary stuff out there. Which brings us here... to the server farm. You have all just stepped through the looking glass. What you see, what you hear -- nothing is what it seems.
H1N1 is believed to have been initially spread from a rather unkempt pig farm in Mexico, hence the swine flu. However, it isn't the fault of the pigs that the place was so nasty, it was the farmers.
So a more appropriate name would be the Dirty Mexican Flu.
Recently authorities have identified patient zero as a pig farmer from Tijuana, Mexico, one Marco Sanchez. Rather than slander all Mexican pig farms, we shoud call it the Dirty Sanchez Flu.
Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you. I am an official representative of the United State mortgage industry. I have assets worth trillion US dollars in liquidity; however, to release these assets, I will need $700,000,000,000 ($700B) in advance. By providing this sum, the assets worth TRILLIONS US will be provided to the US economy.
This is entirely legal and will only cost each man, woman and child in the US $2325 (TWO THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS). I look forward to our business arrangement.
'Thees ess Bahb. I am bery glad to be helping you today. I understand that you are habbing a problem with your thrusters?'
-Yes. Thruster 2 failed and we are.9% off course, we anticipate impact with the moon surface in 13 hours. We have attempted a manual restart and noted the ignition coil of thruster 2 had failed.
'Mmmm. Have you attempted to restart the thrusters?'
-Yes, dammit. I attempted a manual restart and the ignition coil has failed.
'Hmmm. Uh-huh. Could we attempt a manual restart of the thruster now?'
-We could but the DAMN IGNITION COIL has failed!!!
'Yes. I understand. So go ahead and restart the thruster, using the manual restart. To initiate a manual restart, press the manual...'
-OK, OK, OK. I did it. It still failed.
'...restart button on the engine control panel. The manual restart will fire the ignition coil in approximately 30 seconds.'
-THE IGNITION COIL HAS FAILED!!!
'So how is the weather there?'
-WTF?!!?! I'M IN SPACE. It's cold, and black, and I am hurdling at a big rock.
'Yes, it does not get very cold here. I am in Bangalor, India.'
-Listen Bijay. This is Sandeep. We had lunch in the cafeteria together two days ago. Set down the script and help me restart this thrust.
In the world I see - you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway.
I host from time to time a higher limit poker game. We have had as many as 100 players with $30K cash in play. My security has always been pretty simple. I pack heat. I let everyone know that I carry a gun AND that they are encouraged to carry a legal, licensed weapon. Now imagine you are a bad guy reading the invite to that poker game and think to yourself, one or more (likely many more) of these guys carry loaded guns. Does that sound like the kind of party you want to crash?
Leela: Didn't you have ads in the 20th century?
Fry: Well, sure, but not in our dreams. Only on TV and radio. And in magazines and movies and at ball games and on buses and milk cartons and T-shirts and written in the sky. But not in dreams. No, sir-ee!
Slashdot Mirror
Why are you here?
It ain't the money. A network engineer, yours truly -- I rake in about, what, 85 grand a year? You can't buy a decent sports car for that.
It ain't sex. Hey, being here won't get you laid. Oh, you're a dental hygienist? I'm a Cisco Certified Internetwork Expert. -Hello?!
What about fame? Our failures are known. Our successes...are not. That's the company motto. You save the world, they send you to some windowless office, give you a little lemonade and cookies, and show you your medal. You don't even get to take it home.
So it ain't money, it ain't sex, it ain't fame.
What is it?
I say we are all here in this room because we believe. We believe in technology, and we choose technology. We believe in right and wrong, and we choose right. Our cause is just. Our enemies...everywhere. They're all around us. Some scary stuff out there.
Which brings us here... to the server farm. You have all just stepped through the looking glass. What you see, what you hear -- nothing is what it seems.
(paraphrased from 'The Recruit')
is that we are looking at the preference of city Great Tits for city Great Tits over country Great Tits.
Men are not so picky. We do not care if the Great Tits are from the country or city.
"There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours." - Wesley, Princess Bride.
...you damned glowing ape!
H1N1 is believed to have been initially spread from a rather unkempt pig farm in Mexico, hence the swine flu. However, it isn't the fault of the pigs that the place was so nasty, it was the farmers.
So a more appropriate name would be the Dirty Mexican Flu.
Recently authorities have identified patient zero as a pig farmer from Tijuana, Mexico, one Marco Sanchez. Rather than slander all Mexican pig farms, we shoud call it the Dirty Sanchez Flu.
Someone slamming Microsoft on Slashdot?!?!?! How unexpected.
If only the comment were totally unrelated to the post... oh wait...
When was the last time you saw slug wear a jacket? Never? Thought so.
Buzz. Thanks for playing.
http://de.futuramapedia.net/images/b/b7/SlurmsMcKenzie.png
It will be GREAT!
I hesitate to read threads about any Microsoft product on Slashdot. I know I am going to see 700+ messages about why Microsoft sucks.
Could you all just save the time and mod the first post "Lemming"
I hold a patent on the "buttmunching douchebag" and have a copyright on the term.
Send me a nickel.
Kentucky Fried Caveman... delicious...
...and so far it keeps returning women willing to 'stock my clock' or 'sink my duck'.
Dear Congress,
Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you. I am an official representative of the United State mortgage industry. I have assets worth trillion US dollars in liquidity; however, to release these assets, I will need $700,000,000,000 ($700B) in advance. By providing this sum, the assets worth TRILLIONS US will be provided to the US economy.
This is entirely legal and will only cost each man, woman and child in the US $2325 (TWO THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS). I look forward to our business arrangement.
...a builtin 56k modem
A high fiber diet increases the download speeds.
it's a toilet, what should we call it? iShit
it's an intravenous drug, what should we call it? iNject.
it's an Apple fan boy, what should we call it? iDiot.
(just a little joke, Macaniacs..)
'Thees ess Bahb. I am bery glad to be helping you today. I understand that you are habbing a problem with your thrusters?'
-Yes. Thruster 2 failed and we are .9% off course, we anticipate impact with the moon surface in 13 hours. We have attempted a manual restart and noted the ignition coil of thruster 2 had failed.
'Mmmm. Have you attempted to restart the thrusters?'
-Yes, dammit. I attempted a manual restart and the ignition coil has failed.
'Hmmm. Uh-huh. Could we attempt a manual restart of the thruster now?'
-We could but the DAMN IGNITION COIL has failed!!!
'Yes. I understand. So go ahead and restart the thruster, using the manual restart. To initiate a manual restart, press the manual...'
-OK, OK, OK. I did it. It still failed.
'...restart button on the engine control panel. The manual restart will fire the ignition coil in approximately 30 seconds.'
-THE IGNITION COIL HAS FAILED!!!
'So how is the weather there?'
-WTF?!!?! I'M IN SPACE. It's cold, and black, and I am hurdling at a big rock.
'Yes, it does not get very cold here. I am in Bangalor, India.'
-Listen Bijay. This is Sandeep. We had lunch in the cafeteria together two days ago. Set down the script and help me restart this thrust.
'Mmmmm. Did the thruster restart?'
Of course, with DRM, we now own them all.
we could, but we *won't*..we won't throw these fucking tyrants out because, because people are fucking sheep.
The sheep asked for it.
People are always asking me if I know Alex Borges.
In the world I see - you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway.
I host from time to time a higher limit poker game. We have had as many as 100 players with $30K cash in play. My security has always been pretty simple. I pack heat. I let everyone know that I carry a gun AND that they are encouraged to carry a legal, licensed weapon. Now imagine you are a bad guy reading the invite to that poker game and think to yourself, one or more (likely many more) of these guys carry loaded guns. Does that sound like the kind of party you want to crash?
I saw a job posting requiring 15 years of active directory experience. I sent them a resume' for Sam Beckett.
Media = Bad
Teenage Girl = Good.
I am pro-pervert and gambling. Hell, throw in some guns and jack and we'll call it Christmas!
Leela: Didn't you have ads in the 20th century? Fry: Well, sure, but not in our dreams. Only on TV and radio. And in magazines and movies and at ball games and on buses and milk cartons and T-shirts and written in the sky. But not in dreams. No, sir-ee!
I haven't had sex in a month so I am either single or married 17 years...
The main difference would be that if I was single I wouldn't have to listen to the constant bitching.