News flash: "13 suspected terrorists aged 6 months to 1 year old held in solitary confinement for carrying possible dangerous liquids in bottles on board an aircraft. Homeland Security became suspicious when the terrorists refused to answer a few simple questions while trying to board. HSC Spokesman A. Thug said to reporters: 'We had noticed they'd all recently shaved off their beards, so we thought we'd investigate. None of them could speak English clearly, a second warning flag. You can't be too careful in an election year."
NASA Administrator: "You mean we can save money by just putting this stuff on YouTube? And we don't have to spend money storing it anymore? Do it right now and then sell the tapes for surplus. My annual review is coming up and I want to look good to HR."
Underling, scribbling: "Sell tapes, check into YouToob. Ask Ted Steven what it means."
-- Nine days later --
Underling: "I sold the tapes, boss!"
NASA administrator: "And the backup onto YouTube?"
Ling: "Huh? Oh, knew I forgot something!"
NASA administrator shrugs: "Maybe no one will ever notice."
-- Nine more days later --
Weirdstuff Warehouse, Sunnyvale, ad: "Used tapes cheap. Demagnetized for your convenience."
-- a month later --
NASA personnel ad: "Opening available for administrator with data archiving experience. Must not be a fuckup."
Now, if these had AC magnetic fields, and you got a girlfriend with magnetic nipple piercings and a steel clit ring, she'd never want to get out of bed. Not that this would be bad, mind you. Ooops. Maybe I shouldn't have typed that at work while my boss was around... I can explain, sir! Really. I'm working, not fantasizing. I was just thinking of ways to dress up that PowerPoint presentation for you.
What you might have been hearing was the ultrasonic alarm system. Apparently, in some stores and malls, the way the system was improperly installed was that the transducer was left on ALL the time, wired continuously on, and the normal mode of operation was merely to turn the alarm detection portion on at night and off in the morning upon entering. Bad dumb design. When I was in my 30s, some stores were painful to enter because of these. I discovered I could hear tones above 20KHz especially if they were at 110-120 dB levels, which these stupid transducers emitted. I'm over 50 now, and I can hear the mosquito tone easily too. I've always protected my hearing and avoided anything like loud rock concerts, and it seems to have paid off well. No, I'm not making this up or lying either.
Also, pet stores should not ever have ultrasonic store alarms, because rodents can hear them and the sound is very painful. These will kill gerbils from stress. Disclosure: I am not a gerbil, descended from a gerbil, or use gerbils for unnatural purposes, at least not that often.
FOX News: "This just in. Young terrorists plan tree attack. Country placed on orange alert. CIA notes Osama Bin Laden likes to eat cherries. Coincidence? We think not! We turn now to commentary by Ann Coulter."
Coulter: "I'm sure the mothers of these brats are only trying to cash in on the publicity generated when these terrorists-in-training assassinate god-fearing citizens from their lofty perch using liberal weapons of mass destruction."
FOX: "Such as?"
Coulter: "Lethal b-b guns. Poison darts."
FOX: "And what about Bin Laden?"
Coulter: "Hates American trees. Wants to crash planes into them all."
>
FOX: "What would you do to protect us?"
Coulter: "Cut down all the trees. Keep the terrorists out of them. Castrate all liberals."
FOX: "God bless America."
Coulter: "It's all Clinton's fault. Oh, and buy all my books."
FOX: "Did you really have your Adam's Apple surgically removed so you could pass as female?"
Please step out of line, citizen. Our nanosensors have detected carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, and nitrogen on you. These are components of known explosives. We'll have to put you on the no-fly list, although without telling you. Please step over to the officer putting on the rubber gloves...
Only the guilty have anything to fear, this is for your own good. What? Yes, that is a 55-gallon barrel of anal grease. If you're a patriotic American, you should have no complaint. Besides, you should overcome your petty selfishness, this is for the protection of your fellow citizens. Do you have a problem with that?
The REAL reason they're emptying out Cheyenne is because Dick Cheney needs a Western vacation home...Not that he has a fetish for living underground, or wears a plastic skin over his scales, or secretly eats rodents, or nuthin. -- What? Alien-human hybrids are a state secret? OMG - now you tell me - I clicked 'Submit' already. For the love of god - give me back my copy of "How to Serve Man". I promise not to make any more trouble.
It's funny how the Church seems to know exactly what God is thinking when it comes to homosexuals and transgendered people and pre-marital sex and all that jazz, but when it turns the subject of babies they're suddenly too humble to speculate.
is either clueless or humorless or all the above. If I had mod points I'd rectify the situation. On the other hand, maybe Slashdot DOES has readers in the Bible belt. Let me test this. Hey -- any of you all married your sister?
Yes, flywheel energy storage has been proposed for home use but is not very practical. Too expensive and limited in how much energy it can store. (kw/hrs) A fiberglass flywheel is not practical for home-scale energy storage, you need a big big mass. Manufacturing a precisely-balanced large rotating mass is not that easy and cheap to do. Metal is too expensive, and a big steel-reinforced concrete wheel is a bitch to balance and can't be spun all that fast anyway. Energy proportional to square of velocity. Best you could do is store enough to keep lights on in the evening. Not enough to run appliances except perhaps a microwave, which uses very little total since it is not on all that long usually.
I worked on that project in the 1970s. Garrett Airesearch on Los Angeles built a flywheel-electric hybrid. A fiberglass wound flywheel spun at high rpm in a high vacuum on magnetic bearings and energy was coupled magnetically in and out, so no moving parts breached casing. In an accident, the vacuum would be lost and the entire stored energy would be harmlessly expended when the flywheel tore itself into dust. Imagine the force needed to rip fiberglass cord to particles. The car used regenerative braking too. However, the cost of manufacturing was high and the Big Three automakers had absolutely no interest in unconventional technology. Plus, a rotating flywheel exerts a lot of gyroscopic force, making turns handling weird sometimes.
Oh, it's not all that useless. Employing a mere pocket calculator, I can often predict the next-morning's contents of my shorts, inputting parameters such as how drunk I am before collapsing on the floor, number of empty cans, and the fine structure constant.
No need for GPS! Using military-grade organic sensors along with emotion detecting GSR, a microprocessor-based handheld can use table lookup to deduce location easily.
(Simultaneously received on my cell phone, my Blackberry, and my in-box)
Hello, esteemed Sir. I am Nageeb Prahook, with the Departmint of Honeland Security. We wounder if you would help us. We have $25 million in loose cash we do not know what to do with. If you could email me your bank account number, I will deposit most of it with you. Only you must send me by Western Union wire transfer a good faith payment to show you are sincere. I await your assistance. This is an official message, we did not hack into anyone's computers to send this.
Letter to researchers: I like my anorectal epithelium as it is, thank you very much. If you have a helium-propelled gold flake viral DNA vaccine, keep it to yourself, and leave my virginal epithelium alone. Signed, Major Chas Crumley, Retired, and nothing to do but write letters and post on Slashdot. Oh, it makes me mad. Mad, I tell you, mad. Mongo, do not kill the customers! And do not touch their anorectal epithelia!
Re:What would be cool...
on
Talking iPods
·
· Score: 1
This is a coincidence. I accidently passed gas and my iPod responded "Britney Spears?"
Fish everywhere have turned to the Internet for advance warning of tsunamis. Using Ocean Internet Explorer running on Windows XP for Aquatic Environments (also known as Windows for Water), they can check the UNESCO site for peril. The only real issue for these Internet users is sharks performing phishing. Identity theft by sharks is a growing problem. In late-breaking news, the RIAA is threatening to sue Charlie the Tuna for file-sharing. Sorry, Charlie.
Not only can they fly, but they think nothing of beating up Klingon chickens. These chickens are so bad, they'll rip off their drumsticks and smack you upside the head with them. These chickens are so strong, you have to fry them in 40 weight motor oil. These are SERIOUS chickens.
In other news, the EU threatened to fine SCO $14.95, but the SCO corporate treasurer protested, saying the magnitude of the fine was totally unfair and beyond their capability to pay. IBM then spit up its coffee.
Few people remember the first US game for the Nintendo: "Vomit Magnet Blind Date". Microsoft responded immediately with "Microsoft's Steven Balmer Dance Dance Revolution Monkey Boy" for Windows 3.1.... Wait... Wait...You know, sometimes I'm so sorry I took acid during the 60's.
It comes from mixing peanut butter with saliva then kissing. And kicking orphans to the ground and stealing their iPod. And putting SCO on your grandma's PC. And setting her up with Kazaa and no firewall then anonymously emailing the RIAA. That's the starter list.
Slashdot Mirror
"Tribbles - better than gerbils and duct tape"
See, when you're trying to angle your camera under the bathroom stall, it helps if the display is... er wait. Never mind.
Harry Potter doesn't have to worry about all this. HE has a broom.
News flash: "13 suspected terrorists aged 6 months to 1 year old held in solitary confinement for carrying possible dangerous liquids in bottles on board an aircraft. Homeland Security became suspicious when the terrorists refused to answer a few simple questions while trying to board. HSC Spokesman A. Thug said to reporters: 'We had noticed they'd all recently shaved off their beards, so we thought we'd investigate. None of them could speak English clearly, a second warning flag. You can't be too careful in an election year."
Underling, scribbling: "Sell tapes, check into YouToob. Ask Ted Steven what it means."
-- Nine days later --
Underling: "I sold the tapes, boss!"
NASA administrator: "And the backup onto YouTube?"
Ling: "Huh? Oh, knew I forgot something!"
NASA administrator shrugs: "Maybe no one will ever notice."
-- Nine more days later --
Weirdstuff Warehouse, Sunnyvale, ad: "Used tapes cheap. Demagnetized for your convenience."
-- a month later --
NASA personnel ad: "Opening available for administrator with data archiving experience. Must not be a fuckup."
Now, if these had AC magnetic fields, and you got a girlfriend with magnetic nipple piercings and a steel clit ring, she'd never want to get out of bed. Not that this would be bad, mind you. Ooops. Maybe I shouldn't have typed that at work while my boss was around... I can explain, sir! Really. I'm working, not fantasizing. I was just thinking of ways to dress up that PowerPoint presentation for you.
Also, pet stores should not ever have ultrasonic store alarms, because rodents can hear them and the sound is very painful. These will kill gerbils from stress. Disclosure: I am not a gerbil, descended from a gerbil, or use gerbils for unnatural purposes, at least not that often.
Coulter: "I'm sure the mothers of these brats are only trying to cash in on the publicity generated when these terrorists-in-training assassinate god-fearing citizens from their lofty perch using liberal weapons of mass destruction."
FOX: "Such as?"
Coulter: "Lethal b-b guns. Poison darts."
FOX: "And what about Bin Laden?"
Coulter: "Hates American trees. Wants to crash planes into them all."
> FOX: "What would you do to protect us?"
Coulter: "Cut down all the trees. Keep the terrorists out of them. Castrate all liberals."
FOX: "God bless America."
Coulter: "It's all Clinton's fault. Oh, and buy all my books."
FOX: "Did you really have your Adam's Apple surgically removed so you could pass as female?"
Coulter: withering sneer.
Only the guilty have anything to fear, this is for your own good. What? Yes, that is a 55-gallon barrel of anal grease. If you're a patriotic American, you should have no complaint. Besides, you should overcome your petty selfishness, this is for the protection of your fellow citizens. Do you have a problem with that?
The REAL reason they're emptying out Cheyenne is because Dick Cheney needs a Western vacation home. ..Not that he has a fetish for living underground, or wears a plastic skin over his scales, or secretly eats rodents, or nuthin. -- What? Alien-human hybrids are a state secret? OMG - now you tell me - I clicked 'Submit' already. For the love of god - give me back my copy of "How to Serve Man". I promise not to make any more trouble.
I have the strangest feeling I've been modded down before. I think doctors call it Deja Mod.
It's funny how the Church seems to know exactly what God is thinking when it comes to homosexuals and transgendered people and pre-marital sex and all that jazz, but when it turns the subject of babies they're suddenly too humble to speculate.
is either clueless or humorless or all the above. If I had mod points I'd rectify the situation. On the other hand, maybe Slashdot DOES has readers in the Bible belt. Let me test this. Hey -- any of you all married your sister?
Yes, flywheel energy storage has been proposed for home use but is not very practical. Too expensive and limited in how much energy it can store. (kw/hrs) A fiberglass flywheel is not practical for home-scale energy storage, you need a big big mass. Manufacturing a precisely-balanced large rotating mass is not that easy and cheap to do. Metal is too expensive, and a big steel-reinforced concrete wheel is a bitch to balance and can't be spun all that fast anyway. Energy proportional to square of velocity. Best you could do is store enough to keep lights on in the evening. Not enough to run appliances except perhaps a microwave, which uses very little total since it is not on all that long usually.
I worked on that project in the 1970s. Garrett Airesearch on Los Angeles built a flywheel-electric hybrid. A fiberglass wound flywheel spun at high rpm in a high vacuum on magnetic bearings and energy was coupled magnetically in and out, so no moving parts breached casing. In an accident, the vacuum would be lost and the entire stored energy would be harmlessly expended when the flywheel tore itself into dust. Imagine the force needed to rip fiberglass cord to particles. The car used regenerative braking too. However, the cost of manufacturing was high and the Big Three automakers had absolutely no interest in unconventional technology. Plus, a rotating flywheel exerts a lot of gyroscopic force, making turns handling weird sometimes.
Oh, it's not all that useless. Employing a mere pocket calculator, I can often predict the next-morning's contents of my shorts, inputting parameters such as how drunk I am before collapsing on the floor, number of empty cans, and the fine structure constant.
"Data:"
-- smells like armpits;
-- overboding sense of fear:
--> must be New Jersey.
--> If garlic present: possibly a French subway."
(Simultaneously received on my cell phone, my Blackberry, and my in-box)
Hello, esteemed Sir. I am Nageeb Prahook, with the Departmint of Honeland Security. We wounder if you would help us. We have $25 million in loose cash we do not know what to do with. If you could email me your bank account number, I will deposit most of it with you. Only you must send me by Western Union wire transfer a good faith payment to show you are sincere. I await your assistance. This is an official message, we did not hack into anyone's computers to send this.
Letter to researchers: I like my anorectal epithelium as it is, thank you very much. If you have a helium-propelled gold flake viral DNA vaccine, keep it to yourself, and leave my virginal epithelium alone. Signed, Major Chas Crumley, Retired, and nothing to do but write letters and post on Slashdot. Oh, it makes me mad. Mad, I tell you, mad. Mongo, do not kill the customers! And do not touch their anorectal epithelia!
This is a coincidence. I accidently passed gas and my iPod responded "Britney Spears?"
Fish everywhere have turned to the Internet for advance warning of tsunamis. Using Ocean Internet Explorer running on Windows XP for Aquatic Environments (also known as Windows for Water), they can check the UNESCO site for peril. The only real issue for these Internet users is sharks performing phishing. Identity theft by sharks is a growing problem. In late-breaking news, the RIAA is threatening to sue Charlie the Tuna for file-sharing. Sorry, Charlie.
Not only can they fly, but they think nothing of beating up Klingon chickens. These chickens are so bad, they'll rip off their drumsticks and smack you upside the head with them. These chickens are so strong, you have to fry them in 40 weight motor oil. These are SERIOUS chickens.
In other news, the EU threatened to fine SCO $14.95, but the SCO corporate treasurer protested, saying the magnitude of the fine was totally unfair and beyond their capability to pay. IBM then spit up its coffee.
Few people remember the first US game for the Nintendo: "Vomit Magnet Blind Date". Microsoft responded immediately with "Microsoft's Steven Balmer Dance Dance Revolution Monkey Boy" for Windows 3.1. ... Wait... Wait...You know, sometimes I'm so sorry I took acid during the 60's.
If Gannon had had the Logitech Internet Toilet-Cam (tm), we all could have had a laugh if he'd invited the detective in, you realize?
It comes from mixing peanut butter with saliva then kissing. And kicking orphans to the ground and stealing their iPod. And putting SCO on your grandma's PC. And setting her up with Kazaa and no firewall then anonymously emailing the RIAA. That's the starter list.