User: Letter

Dear Sweepstakes

On: What's The Fastest Growing Linux Distro?

Dear Sweepstakes,

Could it be Mandrake?!?!!

-Letter

Dear Brits

On: HMS Beagle (Possibly) Found

Dear Brits,

How did thee make this slashdot entry come up in thee Olde English typeface? Come hither and retreat to Essex upon Liverpool, my fellow Knights of her Majesty!

Cheerio,
Letter

Dear Buyer

On: Dell's Gaming Monster

Dear Buyer,

In response to your query of "are you buying?" on Friday February 13th, 2004, I respond, "no, I'm selling." And I fire right back at you, "are you buying?"

-Seller

Dear Slashdot

On: Windows 2000 & Windows NT 4 Source Code Leaks

Dear Slashdot,

Hell hath frozen over! Microsoft hath gone open-source!

Love,
Your Sweet Baboo

Dear 6 Months

On: Microsoft Sits on Security Flaw for Six Months

Dear 6 Months,

6 Months is not too bad. Let me offer this scenario. You have an operating system with something like 300 million lines of code (WINDOWS XP), with some 50000 of those lines written in windows assembly. A bug is reported that allows privilege escalation. You have to go through each line of code and figure out what it does and if it possibly is the one that allows the exploit. That's about 50 million lines per month, or 1.6 million a day. Say you have a security team of 200 programmers examining each line. That means that each programmer needs to look at 8333 lines of code *every day*.

Again, 6 Months is not too bad. How long did it take those patches for the Linux exploits to come out? Since Linux is about 5 million lines of code, or 1/6 the size of WINDOWS XP, having the Linux patches out within a month was about on par.

Back to the convent,
Sister Mary

Dear Lindows

On: Lindows Takes a Hit in the Netherlands

Dear Lindows,

That's funny. I'm in a cyber cafe in the Netherlands and I just took a hit too.

-Letter

Dear Booble

On: Google Asks Booble To Cease And Desist

Dear Booble,

I, for one, express my gratitude for finally bringing porn to slashdot.

-Big O

Dear Sirs

On: Microsoft-Funded Linux Studies Benefit ... Microsoft

Dear Sirs,

Microsoft's funding of studies compares to covert intelligence operations. We only hear about the failures of intelligence, but when it comes to Microsoft, we only hear about the successes.

-Letter

Dear Koffice,

On: Koffice 1.3 Released

Dear Koffice,

*koff* *koff*

Excuse me,
Ice

Dear Orkut

On: Google Social Network: Orkut

Dear Orkut,

I saw on your web page the offer to "expand the circumference of your social circle." That's great and all, but can you help expand the circumference of my little Urkel?

thanks!
Jaleel White

Dear Wondering & Deeply Confused

On: Linux for Asia: Asianux

Dear Wondering & Deeply Confused,

In the winter, many layers of indirection is the best way to keep warm.

Take care,
Letter

Dear Soy Milk Mocha Latte

On: New Intermediate Language Proposed

Dear Soy Milk Mocha Latte,

You're so venti, but your little cafe au lait friend tastes great and is less filling.

Miller Lite

Dear Slashdot

On: Weird Presents Anyone?

Dear Slashdot,

For Christmas, I got a 500 Internal Server Error.

Ho ho,
Ho

DEAR EDITOR

On: Nigerian Scammers Claim Another Victim

DEAR EDITOR

REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATION INVESTMENT IN YOUR COMPANY

We do not receive slashdot in nigeria. Hence this proposal to you.
We require from you subscriptions by fax. Please for security
reasons my mobile number is 234-1-4706187 and fax 234-1-7748746.

Thanks in anticipation and God bless.

MRS. ASHATU ABACHA

Dear Green/Purple ColorMeleon iPod,

On: Rumors of Mini iPods

Dear Green/Purple ColorMeleon iPod,

You sure is ugly!

-Mom

dear slashdot first post

On: PC Mag - Mac OS X Insecure

dear slashdot first post
a letter in haiku form
sincerely, letter

Dear IP Lawyers

On: Qwest Launches VoIP Trial

Dear IP Lawyers,

We need your services now! I just read this on slashdot:

Qwest Launches VoIP Trial

Sincerely,
Morcheeba

Dear Has a Friend at the South Pole Person

On: Kermit Alive and Well on the Space Station

Dear Has a Friend at the South Pole Person,

Ah, that helps to explain your low userid.

Chillin',
Bruce

Dear Editors

On: Linux Power Tools

Dear Editors,

Something is wrong with slashcode. Attached is the bug report:

Package: slashcode
Version 2.2.6
Severity: normal

When reading slashdot today, someone posted some
unix humor. Someone else responded with more
unix humor. Someone else responded to that with
more unix humor. I think there might be a
problem with the comment recursion prevention
filter.

Dear Sysadmin

On: PC Annoyances

Dear Sysadmin,

Would you please come and put me back on the desk?

Much thanks,
Your PC

Dear Readers

On: Unix Network Programming, Vol. 1

Dear Readers,

Reviewing this book is like reviewing internet porn for slashdot readers!

Whackin',
Beyonce

Dear Readers

On: North Korea Introduces 'Secure' E-mail

Dear Readers,

Any more question on North Korea secure e-mail can ask by jin@secure.co.kr.

-Jin-Sol

Dear Goatse

On: How to Set Up a Gift Website?

Dear Goatse,

I see your colon!

Cheers,
Letter

Dear Sun

On: What's Coming in Solaris 10

Dear Sun,

Can I run the ZFS (Zebra file system) in a RAID-0 configuration?

Thanks,
Stripes

Dear CNET

On: MP3.com's Content to Be Destroyed

Dear CNET,

I, for one, welcome your recent acquisition of mp3.com.com.com.com.com... (ad nauseam)

Levitra