"Science Blog is reporting that NASA is seeking proposals 'for creating and managing innovative activities, events, products, services, or other types of formal or informal education methods..."
Three Words: Monkeys in Spacesuits.
Not only will this capture the collective heart of America, but it can be funded by offering to conduct a typical pork-barrel experiment that government-funded programs normally tend to be. How about "Studying the effect of orbiting the Earth on the accuracy of simians flinging crap."
Why it would most certainly have to be the diabolical Dr. Clayton Forrester. I mean the one from MST3K not his namesake from the original War of the Worlds film.
And if you make the argument that he was not a FILM scientist, I'll make the argument that you misread my second sentence where I clearly state it's the WotW Dr. Forrester I'm talking about.
Please note that "Sony, you lead for 2 generations. Obviously, it's time for you to step aside for a while so you can look at your play book and get a clue." and "Sony: it was nice knowing you. Come back in a generation or two." both sound a lot like those smart-ass lines people say on Survivor when they get ready to vote Sue-Ellen off the island for hiding a granola bar from the rest of the tribe.
Well what can I say except, "Sony, the tribe has spoken."
The summary for the article is entirely too long. It could be shortened to "Microsoft has released another weapon in its battle against Google: Steve Ballmer" which would get the point across more concisely.
For added effect, you could mention that Ballmer is "going to f*cking kill that guy."
TIVO makes a poor choice for a./ poll, IMHO. First, we're only given two options, Life or Death. Second, there's no CowboyNeal option. Third, there's no way to register your choice (Life, please)
Finally...an article posted on/. that remains firmly grounded in reality (on an April Fool's day, no less). The digg fanboys have at last met their match;/.'s new format matches digg's as far as depth and discussions go.
And for the record: OMGZ, this site is like so AWWWWEEESSOOOOMMMMEEEEE!!!
^_^
Also: I think I've exceeded my "sweetness" threshold for purposes of karma-whoring. You can find me in detox.
"...doing a Google search on my alias returns more hits for a british comic book character than anything I've written with this name.
I remember reading those old Captain Crumpet and Tea, the Knave Wonder comics. I like the issue where they went back in time and put the colonials back in line.
It's Edward Greenwood IX (the Ninth). I figured with a pretentious name like that he'd be all rich and powerful. Instead at $27,000 a year he comes across as that office's Milton wannabe. I can already hear his excuse:
Edward Greenwood IX: I told Bill that if Sandra is going to listen to her headphones while she's filing, then I should be able to play solitaire while I'm collating so I don't see why I should get fired because I enjoy playing solitaire during my one-hour lunch or during quick breaks.
What's next? Is he going to burn down the building?
'A user may speak the words "Koko-wa-dokodesuka?" (Where is this?) in Japanese, for example, into the device's microphone, upon which a cartoon bird acting as an interpreter will pop up and start talking in the user's language.
Unfortunately, while the bird speaks in the user's language it will translate the aforementioned "Koko-wa-dokodesuka?" as "I'm disrespectful to dirt! Can you see I am serious?"
Have your Mom send your used tissues to Spitsbergen, Norway after she cleans your room after an exhausting night of "one-handed surfing", if you catch my drift and I think you do. BTW, try not to get any hand lotion on the tissue, it might ruin your only realistic shot at being a father.
"Pfft! What do these have to do with each other? Why do bees fly?"
And what the hell do they have in common with birds regarding sex. Is it because they both fly? Actually, I believe it's more than just the flying; I think it's the pollination (think hummingbirds) part people allude to when talking about putting a wabo-wabo in a hummina-hummina.
Linda Branagan is an expert on daemons. She has a T-shirt that sports the daemon in tennis shoes that appears on the cover of the 4.3BSD manuals and The Design and Implementation of the 4.3BSD UNIX Operating System by S. Leffler, M. McKusick, M. Karels, J. Quarterman, Addison-Wesley Publishing Company, Reading, MA 1989.
She tells the following story about wearing the 4.3BSD daemon T-shirt:
Last week I walked into a local "home style cookin' restaurant/watering hole" in Texas to pick up a take-out order. I spoke briefly to the waitress behind the counter, who told me my order would be done in a few minutes.
So, while I was busy gazing at the farm implements hanging on the walls, I was approached by two "natives." These guys might just be the original Texas rednecks.
``Pardon us, ma'am. Mind if we ask you a question?''
Well, people keep telling me that Texans are real friendly, so I nodded.
``Are you a Satanist?''
Well, at least they didn't ask me if I liked to party.
``Uh, no, I can't say that I am.''
``Gee, ma'am. Are you sure about that?'' they asked.
I put on my biggest, brightest Dallas Cowboys cheerleader smile and said, ``No, I'm positive. The closest I've ever come to Satanism is watching Geraldo.''
``Hmmm. Interesting. See, we was just wondering why it is you have the lord of darkness on your chest there.''
I was this close to slapping one of them and causing a scene -- then I stopped and noticed the shirt I happened to be wearing that day. Sure enough, it had a picture of a small, devilish-looking creature that has for some time now been associated with a certain operating system. In this particular representation, the creature was wearing sneakers.
They continued: ``See, ma'am, we don't exactly appreciate it when people show off pictures of the devil. Especially when he's lookin' so friendly.''
These idiots sounded terrifyingly serious.
Me: ``Oh, well, see, this isn't really the devil, it's just, well, it's sort of a mascot.''
Native: ``And what kind of football team has the devil as a mascot?''
Me: ``Oh, it's not a team. It's an operating -- uh, a kind of computer.''
I figured that an ATM machine was about as much technology as these guys could handle, and I knew that if I so much as uttered the word ``UNIX'' I would only make things worse.
Native: ``Where does this satanical computer come from?''
Me: ``California. And there's nothing satanical about it really.''
Somewhere along the line here, the waitress noticed my predicament -- but these guys probably outweighed her by 600 pounds, so all she did was look at me sympathetically and run off into the kitchen.
Native: ``Ma'am, I think you're lying. And we'd appreciate it if you'd leave the premises now.''
Fortunately, the waitress returned that very instant with my order, and they agreed that it would be okay for me to actually pay for my food before I left. While I was at the cash register, they amused themselves by talking to each other.
Native #1: ``Do you think the police know about these devil computers?''
Native #2: ``If they come from California, then the FBI oughta know about 'em.''
They escorted me to the door. I tried one last time: ``You're really blowing this all out of proportion. A lot of people use this `kind of computers.' Universities, researchers, businesses. They're actually very useful.''
Big, big, BIG mistake. I should have guessed at what came next.
Native: ``Does the government use these devil computers?''
Me: ``Yes.'' Another BIG boo-boo.
Native: ``And does the government pay for 'em? With our tax dollars?''
I decided that it was time to jump ship.
Me: ``No. Nope. Not at all. Your tax dollars never entered the picture at all. I promise. No sir, not a penny. Our good Christian congressmen would never let something like that happen. Nope. Never. Bye.''
1 - "Godzilla" croc fossil discovered in Patagonia.
2 - Patagonia is located in South America
3 - Points 1 & 2 make this fossil an "American Godzilla"
4 - Please change all nickname references of this creature to "GINO" or "Godzilla In Name Only."
"Maybe we should just enact an exhaling tax. If people exhaled more conservatively, this wouldn't be as much of a problem.
Passing an exhaling tax would prove difficult. Democrats would filibuster any attempts to do so and claim that breathing liberally is the moral thing to do. Furthermore, CO2 and Carbonic Acid would be blamed on the Bush administration, which would counter by stating that CO2 and Carbonic Acid are, in fact, evidence of Iraq's WMDs.
Hmm...I think I can help. Could you reply with your Social Security number and I'll track it down for you. Of course, I'll need your bank and credit card information, as well as your mother's maiden name.
Slashdot Mirror
"Science Blog is reporting that NASA is seeking proposals 'for creating and managing innovative activities, events, products, services, or other types of formal or informal education methods..."
Three Words: Monkeys in Spacesuits.
Not only will this capture the collective heart of America, but it can be funded by offering to conduct a typical pork-barrel experiment that government-funded programs normally tend to be. How about "Studying the effect of orbiting the Earth on the accuracy of simians flinging crap."
Pr0n is the 5ux0rs! We need 1337 h@x0r5 to pwn their warez, w00t, w00t!"
You spelled "teh" and "there" wrong. Or did you mean "they're"?
Why it would most certainly have to be the diabolical Dr. Clayton Forrester. I mean the one from MST3K not his namesake from the original War of the Worlds film.
And if you make the argument that he was not a FILM scientist, I'll make the argument that you misread my second sentence where I clearly state it's the WotW Dr. Forrester I'm talking about.
Please note that "Sony, you lead for 2 generations. Obviously, it's time for you to step aside for a while so you can look at your play book and get a clue." and "Sony: it was nice knowing you. Come back in a generation or two." both sound a lot like those smart-ass lines people say on Survivor when they get ready to vote Sue-Ellen off the island for hiding a granola bar from the rest of the tribe.
Well what can I say except, "Sony, the tribe has spoken."
The summary for the article is entirely too long. It could be shortened to "Microsoft has released another weapon in its battle against Google: Steve Ballmer" which would get the point across more concisely.
For added effect, you could mention that Ballmer is "going to f*cking kill that guy."
"Besides, you can get that kind of snobbish attitude 'anywhere'"
/. for the full effect.
I don't think so. You really have to go to
Sorry, that was me. Too many bean burritos to go with the cauliflower and hard-boiled eggs I had.
TIVO makes a poor choice for a ./ poll, IMHO. First, we're only given two options, Life or Death. Second, there's no CowboyNeal option. Third, there's no way to register your choice (Life, please)
Just my $.02.
Finally...an article posted on /. that remains firmly grounded in reality (on an April Fool's day, no less). The digg fanboys have at last met their match; /.'s new format matches digg's as far as depth and discussions go.
And for the record: OMGZ, this site is like so AWWWWEEESSOOOOMMMMEEEEE!!!
^_^ Also: I think I've exceeded my "sweetness" threshold for purposes of karma-whoring. You can find me in detox.
The best part of this game is that, given the above rules, you can get sh*tfaced playing it on any day of the year, not just today.
"...doing a Google search on my alias returns more hits for a british comic book character than anything I've written with this name.
I remember reading those old Captain Crumpet and Tea, the Knave Wonder comics. I like the issue where they went back in time and put the colonials back in line.
It's Edward Greenwood IX (the Ninth). I figured with a pretentious name like that he'd be all rich and powerful. Instead at $27,000 a year he comes across as that office's Milton wannabe. I can already hear his excuse:
Edward Greenwood IX: I told Bill that if Sandra is going to listen to her headphones while she's filing, then I should be able to play solitaire while I'm collating so I don't see why I should get fired because I enjoy playing solitaire during my one-hour lunch or during quick breaks.
What's next? Is he going to burn down the building?
'A user may speak the words "Koko-wa-dokodesuka?" (Where is this?) in Japanese, for example, into the device's microphone, upon which a cartoon bird acting as an interpreter will pop up and start talking in the user's language.
Unfortunately, while the bird speaks in the user's language it will translate the aforementioned "Koko-wa-dokodesuka?" as "I'm disrespectful to dirt! Can you see I am serious?"
"So where can i deposit my seed?"
Have your Mom send your used tissues to Spitsbergen, Norway after she cleans your room after an exhausting night of "one-handed surfing", if you catch my drift and I think you do. BTW, try not to get any hand lotion on the tissue, it might ruin your only realistic shot at being a father.
"Pfft! What do these have to do with each other? Why do bees fly?"
And what the hell do they have in common with birds regarding sex. Is it because they both fly? Actually, I believe it's more than just the flying; I think it's the pollination (think hummingbirds) part people allude to when talking about putting a wabo-wabo in a hummina-hummina.
Or maybe I'm just insane.
You misspelled "wieners".
"You can't simultaneously say it is harder to install than firefox AND say that it doesn't have any features Firefox doesn't have."
Ooh, I love a challenge...let me try...
*ahem* I hereby simultaneously say that Opera is harder to install than firefox (sic) AND that it doesn't have any features Firefox doesn't have.
There...did it. So when do the folks from Guiness start calling?
From TFA "It's small and annoying," Stapleton said
I thought this article was about a device to "repel" teenagers. Once I read it, it became obvious that it is talking about Ross Perot.
Your momma's so ugly she had a face transplant...and the face rejected her.
"...so he could pursue financial damages allegedly resulting from the allegations."
I think he means "so he could allegedly pursue the alleged financial damages (as alleged) allegedly resulting from the allegations."
Linda Branagan is an expert on daemons. She has a T-shirt that sports the daemon in tennis shoes that appears on the cover of the 4.3BSD manuals and The Design and Implementation of the 4.3BSD UNIX Operating System by S. Leffler, M. McKusick, M. Karels, J. Quarterman, Addison-Wesley Publishing Company, Reading, MA 1989.
She tells the following story about wearing the 4.3BSD daemon T-shirt:
Last week I walked into a local "home style cookin' restaurant/watering hole" in Texas to pick up a take-out order. I spoke briefly to the waitress behind the counter, who told me my order would be done in a few minutes.
So, while I was busy gazing at the farm implements hanging on the walls, I was approached by two "natives." These guys might just be the original Texas rednecks.
``Pardon us, ma'am. Mind if we ask you a question?''
Well, people keep telling me that Texans are real friendly, so I nodded.
``Are you a Satanist?''
Well, at least they didn't ask me if I liked to party.
``Uh, no, I can't say that I am.''
``Gee, ma'am. Are you sure about that?'' they asked.
I put on my biggest, brightest Dallas Cowboys cheerleader smile and said, ``No, I'm positive. The closest I've ever come to Satanism is watching Geraldo.''
``Hmmm. Interesting. See, we was just wondering why it is you have the lord of darkness on your chest there.''
I was this close to slapping one of them and causing a scene -- then I stopped and noticed the shirt I happened to be wearing that day. Sure enough, it had a picture of a small, devilish-looking creature that has for some time now been associated with a certain operating system. In this particular representation, the creature was wearing sneakers.
They continued: ``See, ma'am, we don't exactly appreciate it when people show off pictures of the devil. Especially when he's lookin' so friendly.''
These idiots sounded terrifyingly serious.
Me: ``Oh, well, see, this isn't really the devil, it's just, well, it's sort of a mascot.''
Native: ``And what kind of football team has the devil as a mascot?''
Me: ``Oh, it's not a team. It's an operating -- uh, a kind of computer.''
I figured that an ATM machine was about as much technology as these guys could handle, and I knew that if I so much as uttered the word ``UNIX'' I would only make things worse.
Native: ``Where does this satanical computer come from?''
Me: ``California. And there's nothing satanical about it really.''
Somewhere along the line here, the waitress noticed my predicament -- but these guys probably outweighed her by 600 pounds, so all she did was look at me sympathetically and run off into the kitchen.
Native: ``Ma'am, I think you're lying. And we'd appreciate it if you'd leave the premises now.''
Fortunately, the waitress returned that very instant with my order, and they agreed that it would be okay for me to actually pay for my food before I left. While I was at the cash register, they amused themselves by talking to each other.
Native #1: ``Do you think the police know about these devil computers?''
Native #2: ``If they come from California, then the FBI oughta know about 'em.''
They escorted me to the door. I tried one last time: ``You're really blowing this all out of proportion. A lot of people use this `kind of computers.' Universities, researchers, businesses. They're actually very useful.''
Big, big, BIG mistake. I should have guessed at what came next.
Native: ``Does the government use these devil computers?''
Me: ``Yes.'' Another BIG boo-boo.
Native: ``And does the government pay for 'em? With our tax dollars?''
I decided that it was time to jump ship.
Me: ``No. Nope. Not at all. Your tax dollars never entered the picture at all. I promise. No sir, not a penny. Our good Christian congressmen would never let something like that happen. Nope. Never. Bye.''
1 - "Godzilla" croc fossil discovered in Patagonia.
2 - Patagonia is located in South America
3 - Points 1 & 2 make this fossil an "American Godzilla"
4 - Please change all nickname references of this creature to "GINO" or "Godzilla In Name Only."
Thank you.
"Maybe we should just enact an exhaling tax. If people exhaled more conservatively, this wouldn't be as much of a problem.
Passing an exhaling tax would prove difficult. Democrats would filibuster any attempts to do so and claim that breathing liberally is the moral thing to do. Furthermore, CO2 and Carbonic Acid would be blamed on the Bush administration, which would counter by stating that CO2 and Carbonic Acid are, in fact, evidence of Iraq's WMDs.
Hmm...I think I can help. Could you reply with your Social Security number and I'll track it down for you. Of course, I'll need your bank and credit card information, as well as your mother's maiden name.
Great! When can I expect the check?