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To borrow from a certain demotivational poster...

"If you're not part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem."
=Smidge=

(individuality)

How many computer consultants perpetuate a problem to make money rather than fix it?

None of us is as dumb as all of us.

This went up in my server room last week. Go ahead, try and screw with me :)

Did Van Allen have no sense of adventure when he was younger? Was there no excitement when he chased, and found, the Van Alen Belt? [1]

Or was it just his job? And if so, why bother? That article reads as one of the best demotivational pieces I've seen in some time.

I predict this will inspire new products from http://www.despair.com/ .

[1] black leather, 32", plain bronze buckle

Consulting : If you're not part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.

It's bad enough when you have to work in the same department with someone like this, but to report directly to them?

I worked for a huge corporation for 8 years, and when one person was hired and decided I was a threat to his position and proceeded to repeatedly sabotage my work and reputation... it got ugly.
This person buddied up to management (literally, taking them golfing and out on his boat, etc.) and with little nagging here and there, eventually convinced them that I was the problem, not him.
I got out in time... I left that company and got a ~50% raise in the process.

Upon submitting my 2 week notice, I posted this outside my cubicle... no-one took it down.

Almost immediately after I left, I ended up hearing that he targetted another in the group (since I was no longer there to be the scapegoat for his mistakes). Unfortunately for him, this guy had a phenomenal reputation in the company that spanned many levels (so it finally backfired).

The "moral of the story" is basically... you're in a "no-win situation". This person is not only going to have a negative effect on your psyche over that period of time, but he's going to have a negative effect on your reputation, making it more difficult to get another job anyways.
This is, of course, if he doesn't fire you first... which will make it even more difficult to find another job.

My recommendation is to polish your resume and post it immediately... it only gets worse.

apathy

apathy

Ah yes, this one to be exact.

You might find this to be useful. Eventually, you will find that mediocrity takes a lot less time and most people won't notice the difference until it's to late.

You mean like this?

Microsoft can not have the :-( (r) face it is registered to Dispare.com
Yes you to can use them just look at the bottom of the page and you can buy the right to use them, I did.

Sorry, those are actually all frownies and have been trademarked. Microsoft would be sued for diluting the brand.

If you're not part of the solution, there's good money in prolonging the problem.

This Demotivator... Hehe.

THIS. Seriously though... Linux is still a novelty, and for the forseeable future will continue to be.

This came to my head instantly...

Don't get me wrong, I like the penguins... it's just funny... Oh well, there goes my karma....

http://www.despair.com/consulting.html

http://www.despair.com/consulting.html

The despair calendar has a quote:

"A company that will go to the ends of the earth for its people will find that it can hire them for about 10% of the cost of Americans."

Calendar photo at: www.despair.com/discovery.html

April on Despair's 2004 calendar is 'Potential'

I've only been back to work for 3 months, after spending 7 months unemployed, but I'm not of the holier than thou belief that someone owed me a job. [yes, I was fired because of someone's napoleon complex, but I didn't think that meant I should just get an instant job out of it...more that he should lose his for having done it].

There will always be a need for a wide variety of professions, and we can't just go shooting telephone sanitizers out into space, and we're not all going to get jobs playing video games.

I think it's a problem with both society, in thinking that people are 'owed' a job, and in education, for teaching fixed subjects, without focusing on how to improve an individual person in a way that will make them a more productive person in society. [oooh....he can add...and can write papers.... sure, that's useful, but if they don't care, they're not going to apply themselves well... find a way to center the curriculum around them...maybe 'math for people who enjoy fixing cars' or such]

I'd like to see programs in training people fix those important, but overlooked jobs in society. Sure, there are classes for learning computer programming, or even system administration -- but what about manning a helpdesk? [and I don't mean, get them off the phone anyway possible], or even computer operations [handling computer backups, monitoring systems for oddities, aka. playing computer games while babysitting computers]

This isn't really software, but it's good content for any subliminal CD...
www.despair.com

I'd hate to break this to you but...not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up

this reminds me of this.

I'm not a Microsoft apologist or Linux zealot. I use the best tool for the job, and what you have posted here is false.

If you know how to do x on linux, you know it. But on Windows, it'll probably be in a different dialog box each time you get a new version.

Whether you are talking about the OS or third party software I don't know, but since there is always goign to be shitty third party software (closed source and open source) written for every major OS, I'll assume you are talking about the OS. The basic control elements have been the same since Windows 95. They changed it in Windows XP, but it takes all of 10 seconds to switch the theme to classic and everything is as it was. I've used RedHat for years, and any time I load a new version, something has changed. Granted, all of the CLI stuff is the same (pretty much the same on Microsoft, too), but (often useless) GUI tools in the default install seem to change.

And they'll rearrange the control panel again. And they'll rearrange the start menu again.

Those "Start Menus" and "Control Panels" change all the time in Linux distros depending on what exactly you install. They don't change hardly at all with each release of Windows. Sure you might need to learn where something new once in a while, but Linux is far more guilty of this than any Microsoft OS offering. I mean, config files are in different places in different distros! And they're all Linux! Oh, yeah I suppose profiles are kept in a different place Windows 2000 and after, but the user doesn't need to hunt down where some config file is to change some obscure option on some software. Or get a second NIC running.

Today I watched an experienced contractor, a Windows programmer and MCSE, look blankly at the WindowsXP start menu for almost half a minute, wondering what he needed to do to get the control panel (despite using it all the time in Windows2000).

Fuck. Wow. I have no response. Is he a moron? Is he blind? It's right there. Again, classic mode, if you really need it. Maybe he should try a google search to find that stuff out? That's what you end up doing with Linux anyway.

Yes, we just reformatted a load of WindowsXP machines to put Windows2000 on them. It's just that unbearable...

Let me guess, the MCSE contractor said to do it? Did he bill you hours for it? You just got taken to task. Maybe you should have used a little bit of scripting to reset all of those XP machines to classic mode? Problem solved.

I'm irritated. I had a not very tech savvy friend look at your post. He was confused, because, in his words,

"Windows hasn't really changed that much since Windows 95. Except that my computer doesn't crash anymore under Windows 2000."

Hey you know what they say: "Consulting: If you aren't part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem." (shamelessly copied from a Despair demotivater -- I'd have provided a link to the actual one but their website seems to be screwy right now).

Of course in all seriousness you don't know anything about me or what I do. For the record I'm a regular 40 hour a week working IT stiff. I did a job as a favor to a customer of my employer who had his network hijacked by an arrogant out of control 20 year old sysadmin who demanded a 2x salary increase and locked them out of every machine they owned. It took myself and two friends three days to rebuild that network. I also did them a favor and only charged them $40/hr for the time -- had they gotten an actual consultant it would likely have been 2.5 - 3x times as much. Or more.

My whole point being that adopting a "I am God" attitude is hardly healthy. There is always someone out there who can replace you. Chances are that there is also someone out there who is better then you at whatever it is you do (be it IT work or flipping burgers).

BTW: I do know which end of the IDE cable goes into the motherboard but we tend to use SCSI these days on any machine that I'm likely to touch so I'll probably forget eventually ;)

they must have demotivator posters at the SCO home office...

Procrastination Despair Demotivator

Despair litho Idiocy also fits...

e.

they must have demotivator posters at the SCO home office...

Procrastination Despair Demotivator

Despair litho Idiocy also fits...

e.

His response to charges that he is funding SCO's lawsuits:
SCO already has like $60 million on hand and our small fee would not go very far defending an action such as this

No single raindrop believes that it is to blame for the flood. Presumably this CEO also believes that donating $25 to Al Qaeda doesn't promote terrorism, or that dumping a gallon of used motor oil in a river doesn't promote pollution. Or that buying somethng from a spammer doesn't promote spam.

Never underestimate the stupidity of people in large numbers.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

I guess somebody has to mention the "other" little candy hearts.

I've never had a job where the people above me wanted to hear the truth. Telling the truth has been a career-limiting move for me in several different jobs.

That may actually be one of those cases where the Despair Dysfunction poster would be appropriate - is it that they didn't want to hear the truth, or that they didn't want to hear the truth the way you presented it? Two things that are sure to hurt your reception when you describe problems are a "you fucked up and I'm here to tell you about it" attitude and complaining about a problem without being interested in finding a way to fix it. Do either of those fit your past experience?

My girlfriend and I both hate our jobs. I got her one and I got myself one. She got "Discovery" and I got "Burnout"

Yes, sounds like a good addition for Despair.com. Perhaps if you find a picture to go with it (a meteorite, maybe with dinosaurs perhaps) you could have it posted to the demotivators

Yes, sounds like a good addition for Despair.com. Perhaps if you find a picture to go with it (a meteorite, maybe with dinosaurs perhaps) you could have it posted to the demotivators

She's cheating on you.

She moved to a different city.
She's apparently not interested in talking, emailing or chatting which offer near-realtime interaction.
She'd rather write letters which are harder to get "caught out" with through a slip of the tongue (as it were) than actually deal with you.

Try this for giggles:
Get in the car, and turn up to her new place unexpectedly.
Watch her reaction - is it "Cool! My BF is here!" or is it "Oh Shit! What are you doing here?"
I'll bet she hasn't even told her new friends she has a boyfriend.

It's been a "longtime" relationship, and I'd say this is the excuse to leave that she's been looking for.

It's over, man. Let her go.

/still bitter

This seems relevant, though perhaps less thoughtful:

Discovery

I know we're not all idiots individually. en masse we are the equivalent of one very large, distributed idiot.

Because none of us is as dumb as all of us.

Too bad, this shows how inaccuracies can be introduced into google by the opinions of large groups of idiots.

The sales/marketing people made quite a large mention about the SCO suit making it sound like a forgone conclusion that Linux would be dead in a matter of months.

All you need to do is buy them all some of these posters. Every marketing/management buffoon that listens to propaganda like the above poster quotes deserves to be reminded by this inspirational, meaningful image on their office wall every day.

I bought one of these and had it framed for our office MCSE. He actually found it funny and believed I was making fun of his customers. (I should have bought him this one, especially as the instructions below recommend it for "hypercompetitive Microsoft programmers under express orders from Bill Gates to dismantle Linux."

Better yet, buy the entire pack and send a few to your favorite SCO attorney.

Really, if the company you work for has upper management thinking that way, why stay? You know where it'll end up eventually. Why slow the inevitable with your talents - it'll only suck you in and take you down with them all too. Nothing like "I enable losers" in future interviews to keep you from the winner's club. Leave while the leaving is good!

The sales/marketing people made quite a large mention about the SCO suit making it sound like a forgone conclusion that Linux would be dead in a matter of months.

All you need to do is buy them all some of these posters. Every marketing/management buffoon that listens to propaganda like the above poster quotes deserves to be reminded by this inspirational, meaningful image on their office wall every day.

I bought one of these and had it framed for our office MCSE. He actually found it funny and believed I was making fun of his customers. (I should have bought him this one, especially as the instructions below recommend it for "hypercompetitive Microsoft programmers under express orders from Bill Gates to dismantle Linux."

Better yet, buy the entire pack and send a few to your favorite SCO attorney.

Really, if the company you work for has upper management thinking that way, why stay? You know where it'll end up eventually. Why slow the inevitable with your talents - it'll only suck you in and take you down with them all too. Nothing like "I enable losers" in future interviews to keep you from the winner's club. Leave while the leaving is good!

The sales/marketing people made quite a large mention about the SCO suit making it sound like a forgone conclusion that Linux would be dead in a matter of months.

All you need to do is buy them all some of these posters. Every marketing/management buffoon that listens to propaganda like the above poster quotes deserves to be reminded by this inspirational, meaningful image on their office wall every day.

I bought one of these and had it framed for our office MCSE. He actually found it funny and believed I was making fun of his customers. (I should have bought him this one, especially as the instructions below recommend it for "hypercompetitive Microsoft programmers under express orders from Bill Gates to dismantle Linux."

Better yet, buy the entire pack and send a few to your favorite SCO attorney.

Really, if the company you work for has upper management thinking that way, why stay? You know where it'll end up eventually. Why slow the inevitable with your talents - it'll only suck you in and take you down with them all too. Nothing like "I enable losers" in future interviews to keep you from the winner's club. Leave while the leaving is good!

The sales/marketing people made quite a large mention about the SCO suit making it sound like a forgone conclusion that Linux would be dead in a matter of months.

All you need to do is buy them all some of these posters. Every marketing/management buffoon that listens to propaganda like the above poster quotes deserves to be reminded by this inspirational, meaningful image on their office wall every day.

I bought one of these and had it framed for our office MCSE. He actually found it funny and believed I was making fun of his customers. (I should have bought him this one, especially as the instructions below recommend it for "hypercompetitive Microsoft programmers under express orders from Bill Gates to dismantle Linux."

Better yet, buy the entire pack and send a few to your favorite SCO attorney.

Really, if the company you work for has upper management thinking that way, why stay? You know where it'll end up eventually. Why slow the inevitable with your talents - it'll only suck you in and take you down with them all too. Nothing like "I enable losers" in future interviews to keep you from the winner's club. Leave while the leaving is good!

If the job can be done by someone without a good command of the English Language and willing to work for minimum wage. They probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.

Appologies to despair.com

It isn't always a matter of being good at your job... Despair.com

You could hire in the region of 5 full-time programmers at pretty competitive rates here in South Africa, and they'd be earning a lot more than most. Part of the appeal of this system is that it is per task, and thus challenges people to pick the best way to do it, and get on with it - none of this to distort the picture :)

So what is wrong with Apathy?

It has its uses.

Remember that none of us is as dumb as all of us ;)

Should know better and do know better are two different things. The only person here who probably knew better was the poor engineer who had to make the changes to the firmware. He probably started to protest, only to be cut off by the pointy-hair boss, at which point he thought to himself "Ahhh, fuck 'em. Who cares if they piss everybody off and go down in a blaze of glory. I can always go work somewhere else."