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Watch it Bub! In desparation I have submitted my resume to Microsoft. They probably won't hire me, but at this point I'm willing to code for anybody!

By the way, anyone need a Software Developer in the NYC area?

I'm referencing here the downing of the Iranian Airbus commercial airliner by the USS Vincennes (Arleigh Burke AEGIS guided missile cruiser) that killed about 300 people in 1988.

Here's a transcript of the
Newsweek Story that goes into detail about the entire incident. It's a little biased against the U.S. Navy because of their reluctance to publicize their screw-up, but according to what I learned studying the incident in my Navy ROTC classes, it's fairly accurate.

The original transformer toy designs predate the American TV show by a number of years. They were produced in Japan and then the cartoon was built around the robot toys when they came to America. Read the story yourself.

Look, I even found a picture of an old 1974 Megatron: very realistic

They just don't make toys like that anymore.

I think I would rather have a gold colored GoldBug, turbo, with a touring suspension. ;)

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practise of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement. (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD, which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practise of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement. (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD, which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

There is also always a lot of Transformers stuff for sale at Ebay pretty much at all times.

if there is any part of the web that has been around from the begining and not changed at all.

http://b.150m.com

AOL-Time Warner is worse than microsoft

http://b.150m.com

is a friend of Max Headroom

http://www.geocities.com/individualistanarchist/

It pays to watch Amanda Pays.

No...This is

How is it "rigid"?

I read your story: 'There wasn't enough room for comments, so we hacked ...'. You then complain that your hack doesn't work.

Further, the current EDI networks are still more reliable and secure than web-based solutions. Many big-name companies don't want to switch until such issues are solved on the web.

Big companies can pay for a subscriber line to their suppliers and/or customers that circumvents the internet. Small companies just have to to take the risk I'm afraid.

Nope! XML takes up more bandwidth than some other solutions because it repeats field/tag-names for each record. I realize that this is generally not a problem, but it does show that you are wrong.

I don't see how this is related to translating. If there is a problem with bandwith, you can simply compress the XML. Do note that we are generally moving away from efficiency towards clarity and simplicity.

And how the heck does the VM contribute to "fast development" and "good features", and "big libraries"?

I wasn't simply talking about the benefits/downsides of a JVM (I never intended to narrow the discussion, the JVM vs P-code was just an example of Java not being incredibly revolutionary). Useful things are usually not revolutionary BTW. They evolve from useless revolutionary technology (which is too complex or slow to be useful). I do claim that all the features of the language (some of which are due to the VM) are good enough to offset the slowless.

I want to refer you to this excellent report on the performance of Java. Some highlights:

"Java has a strong reputation for being a slow language that cannot be seriously considered for real applications. It has not gotten this reputation by coincidence. If you are a C++ programmer then you were probably very tired of all those Java evangelists back in 1995 that claimed that Java was superior in every regard and that 100% pure Java was the best thing there was. They even sometimes claimed that it ran practically as fast as C++, and that any measured differences were insignificant. Chances are that you tried it back then, saw how awfully slow it ran, and then dismissed it as a web development toy and decided that the Java evangelists either was liars or fools. Fortunately, most the hype surrounding Java has since then died out and the compilers and virtual machines has improved significantly in meantime. I heard the same hyped arguments back then and originally dispelled the use of Java as anything but a web applet language, because of the many promises that was clearly not true. I did not return to Java until late in 1998. [...] As we will see in this chapter Java is in fact not as slow as its reputation claims; it all depends on how you use it." [page 32]

Sounds like he had thoughts similar to yours. He changed his mind though:

"One very important factor is the amount of tweaking that has been performed on the Java program. According to the conclusions of chapter 7, a non-tweaked program will be several factors slower than an equivalent C++ program. In my tests it was 2.5 to 4 times slower [on a modern JVM]. [...] However, if the Java program is tweaked (and the C++ program is tweaked too for fairness in comparison) this difference is reduced significantly. Many highly tweaked programs have in fact been shown to be able to run faster in Java than in C++. [...] Judging from the various benchmarks I would say that tweaked Java programs on the average runs 20-50% slower than tweaked C++ program" [page 34&35]

The writer also comments that tweaked code doesn't get the advantage of quick development (about a 30% productivity boost overall), but that will only be true for the 10% of critical code. Furthermore he points out that Swing is too slow. He also shows that JVM's are progressing quickly. A very good point is that Java is plagued by too many poor programmers because the language is easy to learn (the VB-curse). In the end he sees Java as a good option for some games.

Whatta brochure-head you are.

Yep, the kind of brochures with references and benchmarks. And sometimes they are graded at a university with an A+.

Should I put more credit in someone who critiques a language by attacking an article of a random Java supporter, complaining about several style issues, blaming the language for having flaws that are not explained (what is wrong with the reflection in Java?) and using sweeping statements that are unsupported by evidence: "Most heavy OO fans agree". He even attacks the language for being OO ("Java does not make doing procedural programming very easy.").

SOAP and WS is meant to replace non-remote API calls ???????

That might be a good idea (assuming we are talking about calling API's with a few calls only, not basic library-calls). Using GLUE you can reach 300,000 messages/second in the same application. It contains various optimizations for local use.

This is only one implementation of course. But it seems to be possible to get decent performance. I certainly won't dismiss it as a possibility beforehand.

yeh.. try computer d00d

I really want to be able to fly

http://www.geocities.com/individualistanarchist/

The BSA like bad publicity about as much as vampires, bats, and cockroaches like sunlight. Especially when it comes to poor public agencies. Unless you are at a well-funded private school, like
Yale, you can probably put them off for awhile, while you find you licences, and get as many people as you can on free software.

Nonsense. Get thee to a Lotus Elise, and learn what handling actually means.

I've never understood why American cars aren't up to very much. Seriously. I mean, it's not as if American engineering is bad - it's normally very good. America makes good engines too - there's an ancient 3.5l Buick that's been in everything from Land Rovers to ordinary Rovers to TVR sportscars. Why they've never followed through on chassis design I simply don't understand.

Honourable exception: The Ford GT40. Sheer quality, and one of my favourite cars. However, that was about thirty years ago...

i was just trying to put some names to faces from the super pow-wow discussed on the salon article.

anyway, came across Dave Riola (WebTV)'s home page and found it quite funny that he uses these little icons that look like the Debian logo! checkit

I'm in a better position than most programmers my age. Despite the fact I'm in the center of the baby boomer peak population, there aren't that many programmers my age because most had to work with relatively inaccessible mainframes in college. However, I can, along with guys like Larry Wall, attest to the fact that I don't program like the demon I used to. There are those who would say I am a damn good designer/architect, etc. but really -- there are lots of guys who would be just as good as I am for the vast majority of projects. When it comes right down to it, there isn't a need for many people in those positions and having an oversupply of "designers" looking for justification for their position is one of the worst things you can do to a project.

Bottom line, I can't in good conscience recommend that young men go into programming. I've been invited to teach university classes on programming and declined in part due to that fact.

Lest this sound bitter or something, it really isn't. Like I said, I'm in a lot better position than most programmers my age and although that's not saying much anymore, it is saying something.

If I had it to do over again, would I choose programming as a profession? No. I don't think I would. Right now, I wish I'd spent more of my youthful energy learning how to survive without civilization because it just doesn't seem to be all it was cracked up to be in the stories told to men of the GI generation who gave up their independence of family farm lifestyle for dependence on grocery stores, mortgage interest deductions and increasingly intrusive government "protection".

Iraq is actually more secular than most countries in that part of the world. The government still pays lip service to Islam, to appease fundamentalists who might otherwise make trouble, but government officials themselves don't base national policy on religion. Perhaps you're thinking of the kind of government in Iran or Saudi Arabia?

Yes, and dentist's have the ADA, accountants have the AICPA, and lawyer's have the ABA. What professional association of the magnitude of the ABA or AMA represents modern IT engineers? The answer is, there is no professional association with any weight behind it that represents engineers.

We do have a well-financed association or lobbying group financed by the employers of the IT profession (Microsoft, IBM etc.) called the ITAA, which has been making war on our profession for years. Their sole purpose is to flood the IT labor market in order to drive up IT unemployment and drive down wages. They also despise worker independence which is why they love H1-B restrictions (forcing H1-Bs to stick with rotten companies during green card applications) and support section 1706 in the tax code (which forces independent consultants into body shops).

The first high-rated post said "we can all become managers!" Um, no, we can not all become managers, most of the IT departments I've worked at have had anywhere from 10-30 people under a manager, so when one of them goes on to be a manager, what becomes of everyone else. Also, good programmers don't necessarily mean good managers, and mediocre programmers can be good managers. I could go on, but the article is true that 24/7 oncall for years on end, constantly working weekends and 60 hour weeks can lead to burnout, and that many companies don't like hiring people over a certain age.

From a personal standpoint, I believe the failure of engineers to form an association that can counter the ITAA's war on our profession in Washington, as well as the failure to form consulting companies which are geared more towards worker-ownership and worker-control (although there are some, like RMPCP) is due to the fact that many of the people in this profession are the stereotypical socially retarted dorks, who are unable to socialize normally with other human beings, and who place their entire self-worth in the idea that they are the smartest programming super-genius whose skills are better than everyone else, who works harder than anyone else and so forth, so why would he have to have an association like the ABA or AMA with other engineers like every other god-damn profession does? Believe me, doctors are not stupid, cutting someone open and operating on their beating heart is a lot more complicated than opening up a computer and adding more RAM to it. They're not stupid, many of them are very smart actually, and we should follow their example and form a professional association.

For my preference, I like the Programmer's Guild, if you don't like them you can form your own or join a different one, although I'd hope if there were several associations they'd work together in fighting the ITAA's attempts to steal our intellectual property and drive us out of work in Washington. There are engineers working on this and have been for years, but our numbers are small and we need more engineers to just cursorily educate themselves about these things, and then spread the word and educate others about these things, just a few more people on board and it will reach critical mass and we can get the word out more. To me, it's not just about fighting for my profession, it's a principle thing, I'm sick of being kicked around by Microsoft (and IBM, Oracle etc.) via their ITAA yap dog, and I'm glad that I'm actually doing something about it.

My web page that deals with all of this is the Oncall Guild web page. We're not a group that seeks paying membership, anyone can be a member, just educate yourself about this, spread the word and join organizations like the Programmer's Guild or similar good organizations to do something about it. Some of the older engineering organizations are discussed on the web page, both the problems (corporate-financed to the point that they have killed campaigns that oppose the ITAA with threats, too academically focused, created decades ago and not focused on the modern IT profession and so forth) and good things (surveys about salary and other matters, allowing engineers to network with each other).

4 games:
Finaly Fantasy (pick a number, if you care)
Command and Conquer (pick any of them)
Starcraft
Half-Life

4 books:
The Jumbo Duct Tape Book
Bart Simpson's Guide to Life
Merriam-Webster's Rhyming Dictionary
Berlitz Italian-English Dictionary

Which 4 do you think convey more ideas? Which 4 have the most philosphical meanings?
Don't be so quick to judge a video game without thinking about it.
Playing Starcraft or C&C is very similar reading Dune (as well they should be, both having come from it), with a strong emphasis on racial differences, war, peace, and the concepts of equality. I can't find anything like that in the dictionary...

-
Angram
The Ironwall Network

Fun for all the family!

Here is a PDF version.

Boy could I use the Karma!

All you have to do to turn your GeForce into a Quadro is solder in a resistor. No need to play with the drivers and this hack will make it act like a Quadro under both Windows and Linux.

Forget it, you're all too young to know what I'm talking about.

I want to be the first to say that the emperor wears no clothers.

What is nice about C# is its Java underpinnings. Just about every feature they added on top of Java is flawed.

Take for example the much touted Type System Unification. It is broken. According to Microsoft, "boxing and unboxing" bridges the gap between reference types and value types. But it doesn't. Reference types have the concept of identity and equality, while value types only have equality. Boxing and unboxing does not change this fundamental difference. Autoboxing in C# allows value types to go back and forth between being objects, but each time a value type becomes an object it acquires a new identity. This is very dangerous as it can lead to bugs that ar hard to track down. For more information, including sample code see http://www.geocities.com/csharpfaq/box.html

For another example see structs in C#. Structs look just like classes when they are declared and used. But they work very differently. Using structs can result in very unexpected results, as you can see in this example: http://www.geocities.com/csharpfaq/test1.html. For more information about structs in C# see: http://www.geocities.com/csharpfaq/structs.html

Java caught on among programmers because of two reasons: WORA and simplicity. Is C# WORA? Microsoft has been telling us for many years now that WORA will never work. C# does not support WORA. Is C# simple? To answer this last question, consider the fact that the C# statement x.y += a[b]; can contain upto 10 hidden function calls, including properties, indexers, operator overloading, user-defined implicity type conversion operators, etc. For more information visit http://www.geocities.com/csharpfaq/test2.html

C# has neither of the features that attracted programmers to Java: No WORA and no simplicity. This language is no threat to Java.

I want to be the first to say that the emperor wears no clothers.

What is nice about C# is its Java underpinnings. Just about every feature they added on top of Java is flawed.

Take for example the much touted Type System Unification. It is broken. According to Microsoft, "boxing and unboxing" bridges the gap between reference types and value types. But it doesn't. Reference types have the concept of identity and equality, while value types only have equality. Boxing and unboxing does not change this fundamental difference. Autoboxing in C# allows value types to go back and forth between being objects, but each time a value type becomes an object it acquires a new identity. This is very dangerous as it can lead to bugs that ar hard to track down. For more information, including sample code see http://www.geocities.com/csharpfaq/box.html

For another example see structs in C#. Structs look just like classes when they are declared and used. But they work very differently. Using structs can result in very unexpected results, as you can see in this example: http://www.geocities.com/csharpfaq/test1.html. For more information about structs in C# see: http://www.geocities.com/csharpfaq/structs.html

Java caught on among programmers because of two reasons: WORA and simplicity. Is C# WORA? Microsoft has been telling us for many years now that WORA will never work. C# does not support WORA. Is C# simple? To answer this last question, consider the fact that the C# statement x.y += a[b]; can contain upto 10 hidden function calls, including properties, indexers, operator overloading, user-defined implicity type conversion operators, etc. For more information visit http://www.geocities.com/csharpfaq/test2.html

C# has neither of the features that attracted programmers to Java: No WORA and no simplicity. This language is no threat to Java.

I want to be the first to say that the emperor wears no clothers.

What is nice about C# is its Java underpinnings. Just about every feature they added on top of Java is flawed.

Take for example the much touted Type System Unification. It is broken. According to Microsoft, "boxing and unboxing" bridges the gap between reference types and value types. But it doesn't. Reference types have the concept of identity and equality, while value types only have equality. Boxing and unboxing does not change this fundamental difference. Autoboxing in C# allows value types to go back and forth between being objects, but each time a value type becomes an object it acquires a new identity. This is very dangerous as it can lead to bugs that ar hard to track down. For more information, including sample code see http://www.geocities.com/csharpfaq/box.html

For another example see structs in C#. Structs look just like classes when they are declared and used. But they work very differently. Using structs can result in very unexpected results, as you can see in this example: http://www.geocities.com/csharpfaq/test1.html. For more information about structs in C# see: http://www.geocities.com/csharpfaq/structs.html

Java caught on among programmers because of two reasons: WORA and simplicity. Is C# WORA? Microsoft has been telling us for many years now that WORA will never work. C# does not support WORA. Is C# simple? To answer this last question, consider the fact that the C# statement x.y += a[b]; can contain upto 10 hidden function calls, including properties, indexers, operator overloading, user-defined implicity type conversion operators, etc. For more information visit http://www.geocities.com/csharpfaq/test2.html

C# has neither of the features that attracted programmers to Java: No WORA and no simplicity. This language is no threat to Java.

I want to be the first to say that the emperor wears no clothers.

What is nice about C# is its Java underpinnings. Just about every feature they added on top of Java is flawed.

Take for example the much touted Type System Unification. It is broken. According to Microsoft, "boxing and unboxing" bridges the gap between reference types and value types. But it doesn't. Reference types have the concept of identity and equality, while value types only have equality. Boxing and unboxing does not change this fundamental difference. Autoboxing in C# allows value types to go back and forth between being objects, but each time a value type becomes an object it acquires a new identity. This is very dangerous as it can lead to bugs that ar hard to track down. For more information, including sample code see http://www.geocities.com/csharpfaq/box.html

For another example see structs in C#. Structs look just like classes when they are declared and used. But they work very differently. Using structs can result in very unexpected results, as you can see in this example: http://www.geocities.com/csharpfaq/test1.html. For more information about structs in C# see: http://www.geocities.com/csharpfaq/structs.html

Java caught on among programmers because of two reasons: WORA and simplicity. Is C# WORA? Microsoft has been telling us for many years now that WORA will never work. C# does not support WORA. Is C# simple? To answer this last question, consider the fact that the C# statement x.y += a[b]; can contain upto 10 hidden function calls, including properties, indexers, operator overloading, user-defined implicity type conversion operators, etc. For more information visit http://www.geocities.com/csharpfaq/test2.html

C# has neither of the features that attracted programmers to Java: No WORA and no simplicity. This language is no threat to Java.

damn formatting, here you go

How could Apple ask the Church Of Satan to remove their "Made With A Macintosh" logo? Whatever happened to "Think Different"? Fer Chris'sakes Woz & Jobs charged $666.66USD for their first computer! Obviously they are in League With The Devil!

Now's your chance to see just how well you've been paying attention during the past four years of chips, dips, Micro$loth, Napster, IPOs, BSD, rights online, editor censorship, and of course Linux, Linux, Linux! Complete the following professional-quality crossword puzzle chock full of trivia on Slashdot, Open Source, and geekiness in general for not only posterity but GREAT PRIZES!! Prizes include the following:

A fresh box of QUAKER GRITS !
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It doesn't get much better than this, folks! Here's how to play:

Fill in the crossword completely. No incomplete (or incorrect) solutions will be considered.
Once you're sure you have the crossword completely figured out, submit it to slashdot_crossword at engineer.com. If you indeed have the solution, one of the above four prizes are yours! The prizes are in limited supply (well, except for the VA stock certificates), so get those solutions in early!
The winners will be announced on 2002/04/28, to be praised in -1 crapfloods for all eternity (or at least until the crapflooders get bored and go back to posting gay Slashdot editor fanfics).

While we fully assert that this crossword is professional quality, there are of course some variations from the standard crossword form to make things more interesting for the Slashdot crowd. Some answers are used more than once. Digits (0-9) exist in some answers. Some clues are repeated with different answers. Many of the answers are acronyms or initialisms; if the answer that comes to mind doesn't fit, try thinking of common abbreviations for it. And, of course, the crossword indices are all in hexadecimal (this is Slashdot, after all!)

So, without further ado, here comes the crossword! Plain HTML is admittedly ugly and unpleasant to look at, so you may download and print a nice PDF version here. Good luck!

+-+- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +-+- +
|1 |2 |3 |4 |##|5 |6 |##|7 | |8 |##|9 |##|0a| |0b|0c|##|0d|
+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|0e| | | |##|0f| |10| |##| |##|11| | |##|12| |13| |
+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- + +- +- +-+- +
| |##|##| |##|14| | | |##|15|16| |##| |##|17| | | |
+- +- - +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +
|##|18| | |19|##|##|1a| |1b| | |##|##|##|1c|####|##| |
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- +- +-+- +
|1d| |##|##| |##|1e| | | |##|1f|20|21|22| |23|##|24|##|
+ +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- - +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|##|25|26|27| |##|##| |##|28|29|##|2a| | |##|2b|2c| |##|
+- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +-+
|##|2d| | |##|2e|2f|##|##|30| | | |##| |##|31| | |##|
+- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|##|##|##|32| | | |##|##|##| |##|##|33| |34|##| |##|##|
+-+- +- +- +- ++- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- + + +- +- +-+- +
|35|36|37|##|##|38| |39|##|3a|##|##|3b| |##| |##|3c| | |
+-+-+- +- +- ++- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- - +- +- +- + +- +
|3d| | | |3e|##|##|3f| | |##|40|##|##|41| | | |##|##|
+-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +- +- + - +- +- + +-+- +
| |##|##|##|42| |43| |##|44| | |45| | | |##|46|47|48|
+- +- - +- + +- +- +-+- +- +- + +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +
|49|4a| | | |##|4b| | | |##|4c| |##| |##|##|4d| | |
+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +
|##| |##|##| |##| |##|##|4e|4f| |##|50| |51|##|52| | |
+-+- +- + +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- + +- +- + +- +- +
|53| | | | |##| |##|54| | | | |##|55| | |##|##| |
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- + +- +
|56| |##|##|##|57| | |##|##|##| |##|##| |##|##|##|58| |
+- +- +- - +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +
|59| |##|##|##|##| |##|5a| |5b|##|##|5c| |5d|##|5e|##| |
+- +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +-+- +
| |##|##|5f| |60| |##| |##| |##|61| |##|62|63| | |##|
+- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +- - +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +
|##|64| | |##| |##|65| | | |##|##| |##|66| | |##|##|
+- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +
|67| |##|68| | |##|69| |##|6a| | | |##|6b| | | |##|
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- +- +-+- +
|6c| | |##|##| |##|6d| | | |##|##|6e| | | | |##|6f|
+-+- +- +- +- +- +-+ +- +- +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+

THE CLUES:

Across
1. This band must've been desperate for publicity to give an interview to Slashdot!
5. Crapflooder impersonated well by Silicon Simian.
7. A special treat you earn for Bad Posting.
0A. Sean Kelly's ex-lover and former SlashNET IRCop.
0E. Ew! Between the eyes!
0F. This dog won't mess your carpet, shed fur all over the place, or do much else besides consume batteries.
11. Living proof that you get what you pay for.
12. The soundtrack for the World Wide Web.
14. Disney makes money to destroy free speech on the Internet every time you buy ____ on DVD.
15. Slashcode's overglorified killfile.
17. You were writing FOX about "The Tick" when you should've been writing your congressman about this bill.
18. A very Snotty troll.
1A. This young Afghan loves watching movies and JonKatz on his C64.
1D. The best text editor EVER!
1E. What you say!! If you say it one more time, I'll bludgeon you to death!
1F. These guys gave Linux mono.
25. These shiny discs feed money into a bloated media cartel and stifle fair use rights, but you buy them by the millions anyway.
28. Slashdot's top comment poster and story submitter.
2A. These networks "disrupt" artists' cash flows.
2B. Open Source codeword for amphetamines.
2D. RAM type optimized for Extended Data Output on old Pentiums.
2E. Hillary Rosen knows you're just itching to steal Charley Pride's __.
30. A hack to get a kernel designed only to boot off floppy disks to boot off a hard drive.
31. ___ BREAK HEAD WITH OPEN-SOURCE CD!!!
32. Marketers who resort to this tactic are worse than Hitler and should be tortured and killed.
33. This desktop environment kicks GNOME's ass!
35. Microsoft sold off this Unix, and it's gone downhill ever since.
38. An essential e-mail utility for child pornographers and terrorists.
3B. (0A Down)'s lucky number.
3C. It's not Unix, and it shows.
3D. Preface for 90% of Slashdot comments, and 100% of CmdrTaco's personal ads.
3F. Where non-free software goes on your file system.
41. You better mark all the comments as ____ in metamod unless you want to lose karma.
42. This international standards body, no matter what you may think, does NOT read Slashdot.
44. Head bitch of the RIAA.
46. A primitive chat program superseded by AOL Instant Messenger.
49. An online webzine which demonstrated that online subscriptions don't work to everybody except CmdrTaco.
4B. If you moderate in a way CmdrTaco doesn't like, you earn this special database flag.
4C. vi does a poor job of emulating this standard Unix text editor.
4D. To B or not __ _.
4E. You won't get much use out of this text-recognition technology if all you use your scanner for is scanning your ass.
50. The sound Michael's head makes when he's stuffing it up his rectum.
52. Unique index for a whole LIST of babble.
53. The world's best operating system!
54. Father of Methuselah, or old-school Slashdot troll.
55. You don't need to be a Kreskin to predict this operating system's future.
56. Most geeks sleep through this half of the day.
57. This open-source man was Natalie's first.
58. Carly's mission is to steer this company into the ground.
59. mimbleton's favorite subject prefix.
5A. Chewing this might help your babbling problem.
5C. Programming language named after Lord Byron's daughter.
5F. Dead drummer for CmdrTaco's favorite band, or ridiculous Liberal myth.
61. Every Slashdotter's dream is to get one of these.
62. The Firm that is spelling Armageddon for free speech on The Net.
64. These networks are the beginning of Disorganized Crime.
65. Shitty "bitch band" whose leader likes to bitch about the RIAA.
66. The only Adequacy editor with a real PhD.
67. I think 7 over 22 is both backwards AND wrong.
68. Mentioning this droid (and others) is what is keeping you from getting laid.
69. Two-letter country code for Oman.
6A. Giving a ____ Necklace involves "coming" on Heidi Wall's bosom.
6B. What people who can't afford Visual Studio use to search text files.
6C. This hacker tool is often used to replace "characters" in "strings".
6D. QueenTaco's maiden name.
6E. The best text editor EVER!
6F. The PDP-11 assembler that thinks it's a programming language.

Down
1. Taco thinks that a purchase of his publicly traded company's services is a ___.
2. The self-centered Windows 9x release after 98SE.
3. 3D Tamagotchi game designed by Peter Molyneux.
4. A crippled Photoshop wannabe.
5. Lock your penis bird in a cage to protect it from this text-outputting animal.
6. Russian Geeks in Space.
7. If your karma surpasses 25, you have this and a problem.
8. Luckily, michael was born too late to join THIS party.
9. If this Slashdot section's color scheme doesn't drive you away, Michael's snotty editorial remarks will.
0A. Suffering cerebral palsy didn't stop him from becoming Surprised by Wealth.
0B. The market leader in megahertz lies.
0C. Statement used to declare variables in Visual Basic.
0D. Media cartel dedicated to protecting Britney Spears from dirty hackers.
10. Once the greatest Karma Whore ever, now a suicidal loser seen only on (33 Down).
13. Game console that bankrupted its parent company because of hackers making free games for it.
16. The only Unix understandable by non-geeks.
18. (40 Down) likes his pages ____.
19. Do many eyes make all bugs shallow, or do too many cooks spoil the broth?
1C. Research? Linux? Software? Whatever!
20. The first step towards failure for Linux companies.
21. Every Slashdotter's duty (except those marked with (4B Across)).
22. Apple's stylish new IP theft device.
23. (43 Down)'s employer.
24. A flaky Open-Source knockoff of (38 Across).
26. ESR's birthday present to RMS.
27. This primitive operating system denies any service to its users.
29. Unique index for a particular piece of babble.
2C. A tasty breakfast treat -- down your pants!
2E. You hit this once you get 50 karma points.
2F. This marketing guy troll sure is dumb!
33. This site is decidedly not Slashdot.
34. An easy way to lose all your karma is to offer your account for sale on this popular auction site.
35. Unfortunately, this famous online Nazi's treatment of the Censorware Project wasn't just a game.
36. Two-letter country code for the 51st state.
37. A geek's computer is always __.
39. ____, Lover, Aesthete, Programmer. There is no contradiction.
3A. The XP makes it go faster!
3E. The world's worst operating system!
40. The only troll with a freaks list longer than JonKatz'.
41. The OS all the cool people use now that Linux isn't trendy anymore.
43. A top-flight IT consultant who somehow manages to find time in his busy schedule to post to Slashdot.
45. What comes after as(1) and before strip(1) in the C build process.
47. VA Software has the world's worst ___.
48. This Senate bill comes closer to passing every time you go to see Lord of the Rings again.
4A. Legalized child pornography.
4F. What the Greeks went to Delphi for, Geeks go to this state for.
51. The Hellmouth should've eaten you here.
53. This rocker's battle against file-sharing networks won't end until he can Kill 'Em All.
5A. This desktop environment kicks KDE's ass!
5B. This modest and self-effacing troll was one of the first on Slashdot.
5C. You'd have to think different to justify spending money on this company's overpriced products.
5D. A game console which thought it was a full-featured computer system.
5E. Cofounder of Chips 'n' Dips.
5F. It may not have the best sound quality, but at least it's better than Ogg Vorbis.
60. Preface for the 10% of Slashdot comments not prefaced with (3D Across).
63. Apple stole all their ideas from this research group.
64. Bye bye, miss USian ___, drove the Cruiser like some loser who starts posts with a *sigh* ...
65. A dynamically updated list of the biggest losers on Slashdot.
67. Standard programming language implemented by most high-end printers.
6F. This language's lack of bounds checking is responsible for 90% of software security holes out there.

fin

...a friend came over and asked if I could copy CD xyz for them.

You bastard! I hope XYZ doesn't find out! They could really use the money! ;)

"As magmas move through the crust towards the surface or as lava flows over the Earth's surface, they may pickup chunks of surrounding rocks. Sometimes, the magmas and lavas are not hot enough to melt the captured rocks. Once the molten rock solidifies, the plucked rocks remain trapped in the igneous matrix. These trapped rocks are called xenoliths. If the trapped materials are individual minerals, they are called xenocrysts.

Xenoliths, zoned phenocrysts, and xenocrysts (like metamorphic and weathering features) are often easily identified under the microscope and sometimes even in the field. In some cases, a geologist may be interested in dating xenoliths, zoned phenocrysts, or the xenocrysts. However, obviously, if the geologist is interested in dating the younger matrix, he/she will look for and avoid any xenoliths, zoned phenocrysts or xenocrysts. While mainstream geologists know how to avoid xenoliths, zoned phenocrysts, and xenocrysts when dating igneous rocks, creationist Steve Austin apparently was not careful to avoid them when he conducted his "research" at Mt. St. Helens or the Grand Canyon, see " A Criticism of the ICR's Grand Canyon Dating Project by Chris Stassen and compare with Excess Argon within Mineral Concentrates from the New Dacite Lava Dome at Mt. St. Helens Volcano, by Steven Austin. In his Mt. St. Helen's study, Austin collected what he thought was a freshly solidified dacite. He removed the gabbro xenoliths, but there's no mention if he found and removed any lighter colored, less obvious xenoliths, such as andesites or quartz diorites. Austin states that xenoliths of gabbro, quartz diorite, basalt, and andesite are common at the Mt. St. Helen site."

The study by Austin the author, a Dr. Henke, is referring to is one which claims impossibly old dates for fresh dacite.

We could go on for a long time, but I would simply say that science is self-correcting: it is a field which encourages criticism and revision, so long as the criticism is valid and demonstrable. No good scientist would ever claim to any perfection in his or her work. A scientific theory is only valid so long as it has been demonstrated in experiment and has not been disproven by other experiments. The reason why I have such a hard time accepting what you're saying is because, so far as I can tell, it has not stood up to peer review.

"As magmas move through the crust towards the surface or as lava flows over the Earth's surface, they may pickup chunks of surrounding rocks. Sometimes, the magmas and lavas are not hot enough to melt the captured rocks. Once the molten rock solidifies, the plucked rocks remain trapped in the igneous matrix. These trapped rocks are called xenoliths. If the trapped materials are individual minerals, they are called xenocrysts.

Xenoliths, zoned phenocrysts, and xenocrysts (like metamorphic and weathering features) are often easily identified under the microscope and sometimes even in the field. In some cases, a geologist may be interested in dating xenoliths, zoned phenocrysts, or the xenocrysts. However, obviously, if the geologist is interested in dating the younger matrix, he/she will look for and avoid any xenoliths, zoned phenocrysts or xenocrysts. While mainstream geologists know how to avoid xenoliths, zoned phenocrysts, and xenocrysts when dating igneous rocks, creationist Steve Austin apparently was not careful to avoid them when he conducted his "research" at Mt. St. Helens or the Grand Canyon, see " A Criticism of the ICR's Grand Canyon Dating Project by Chris Stassen and compare with Excess Argon within Mineral Concentrates from the New Dacite Lava Dome at Mt. St. Helens Volcano, by Steven Austin. In his Mt. St. Helen's study, Austin collected what he thought was a freshly solidified dacite. He removed the gabbro xenoliths, but there's no mention if he found and removed any lighter colored, less obvious xenoliths, such as andesites or quartz diorites. Austin states that xenoliths of gabbro, quartz diorite, basalt, and andesite are common at the Mt. St. Helen site."

The study by Austin the author, a Dr. Henke, is referring to is one which claims impossibly old dates for fresh dacite.

We could go on for a long time, but I would simply say that science is self-correcting: it is a field which encourages criticism and revision, so long as the criticism is valid and demonstrable. No good scientist would ever claim to any perfection in his or her work. A scientific theory is only valid so long as it has been demonstrated in experiment and has not been disproven by other experiments. The reason why I have such a hard time accepting what you're saying is because, so far as I can tell, it has not stood up to peer review.

Errr....try this.

Salvage One

5) It treats them as objects, at least as much as Dotnet does. I thought this was meant to be a comparison?

6) Hmmm... perhaps you'd care to elaborate? Again, examples of more useful polymorphism in C# etc. would be relevant here.

7) You mean like the split between reference types and value types in C#? Indeed. See here for an argument as to which is easier to deal with.

8) Distinguishing types from implementations is a hack? Thanks for the tip - don't forget to pass it on to Jim Rumbaugh next time you see him.

9) What a coincidence - Java happens to be the #1 teaching language so I guess they'll never learn! As a matter of interest, what does the MFC library smell like to you?

Glad you like Jython. A fine example of innovation building on the JVM, unlike Dotnet.

Hey, life's real exciting here in Sudbury. Take a look.

Stompin' Tom Connors even wrote a song to prove it!

There are occasional tours of the SNO site (usually for academics and visiting dignitaries) but you have to set aside a large block of time just to allow for transit time down and back up.

Note: Now that the Great Slashdot Blackout has started, many of you are probably wondering what you can do instead of post relevant comments (remember, no comments from April 21-27!). Well, the answer is to solve this puzzle! Feel free to repost this puzzle as many times as possible so everyone gets a fair chance to play, and if you have moderator points, mod it up so that (again) everyone gets a fair chance to play. The puzzle contest is over when the Slashdot Blackout is over! After the Blackout is over, please, return to your regularly scheduled activities and don't repost the puzzle anymore. Thanks!

Now's your chance to see just how well you've been paying attention during the past four years of chips, dips, Micro$loth, Napster, IPOs, BSD, rights online, editor censorship, and of course Linux, Linux, Linux! Complete the following professional-quality crossword puzzle chock full of trivia on Slashdot, Open Source, and geekiness in general for not only posterity but GREAT PRIZES!! Prizes include the following:

A fresh box of QUAKER GRITS [quakergrits.com] [quakergrits.com]!
Your very own SLASHDOT CRUISER [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]!
A hot date [ea.com] [ea.com] with NATALIE PORTMAN [natalieportman.com] [natalieportman.com]!
A genuine VA Lin^H^H^HSOFTWARE STOCK CERTIFICATE [vasoftware.com] [vasoftware.com]!

It doesn't get much better than this, folks! Here's how to play:

Fill in the crossword completely. No incomplete (or incorrect) solutions will be considered.
Once you're sure you have the crossword completely figured out, submit it to slashdot_crossword at engineer.com [mailto] [mailto]. If you indeed have the solution, one of the above four prizes are yours! The prizes are in limited supply (well, except for the VA stock certificates), so get those solutions in early!
The winners will be announced on 2002/04/28, to be praised in -1 crapfloods for all eternity (or at least until the crapflooders get bored and go back to posting gay Slashdot editor fanfics).

While we fully assert that this crossword is professional quality, there are of course some variations from the standard crossword form to make things more interesting for the Slashdot crowd. Some answers are used more than once. Digits (0-9) exist in some answers. Some clues are repeated with different answers. Many of the answers are acronyms or initialisms; if the answer that comes to mind doesn't fit, try thinking of common abbreviations for it. And, of course, the crossword indices are all in hexadecimal (this is Slashdot, after all!)

So, without further ado, here comes the crossword! Plain HTML is admittedly ugly and unpleasant to look at, so you may download and print a nice PDF version here [geocities.com] [geocities.com]. Good luck!

+-+- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +-+- +
|1 |2 |3 |4 |##|5 |6 |##|7 | |8 |##|9 |##|0a| |0b|0c|##|0d|
+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|0e| | | |##|0f| |10| |##| |##|11| | |##|12| |13| |
+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- + +- +- +-+- +
| |##|##| |##|14| | | |##|15|16| |##| |##|17| | | |
+- +- - +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +
|##|18| | |19|##|##|1a| |1b| | |##|##|##|1c|####|##| |
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- +- +-+- +
|1d| |##|##| |##|1e| | | |##|1f|20|21|22| |23|##|24|##|
+ +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- - +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|##|25|26|27| |##|##| |##|28|29|##|2a| | |##|2b|2c| |##|
+- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +-+
|##|2d| | |##|2e|2f|##|##|30| | | |##| |##|31| | |##|
+- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|##|##|##|32| | | |##|##|##| |##|##|33| |34|##| |##|##|
+-+- +- +- +- ++- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- + + +- +- +-+- +
|35|36|37|##|##|38| |39|##|3a|##|##|3b| |##| |##|3c| | |
+-+-+- +- +- ++- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- - +- +- +- + +- +
|3d| | | |3e|##|##|3f| | |##|40|##|##|41| | | |##|##|
+-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +- +- + - +- +- + +-+- +
| |##|##|##|42| |43| |##|44| | |45| | | |##|46|47|48|
+- +- - +- + +- +- +-+- +- +- + +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +
|49|4a| | | |##|4b| | | |##|4c| |##| |##|##|4d| | |
+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +
|##| |##|##| |##| |##|##|4e|4f| |##|50| |51|##|52| | |
+-+- +- + +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- + +- +- + +- +- +
|53| | | | |##| |##|54| | | | |##|55| | |##|##| |
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- + +- +
|56| |##|##|##|57| | |##|##|##| |##|##| |##|##|##|58| |
+- +- +- - +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +
|59| |##|##|##|##| |##|5a| |5b|##|##|5c| |5d|##|5e|##| |
+- +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +-+- +
| |##|##|5f| |60| |##| |##| |##|61| |##|62|63| | |##|
+- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +- - +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +
|##|64| | |##| |##|65| | | |##|##| |##|66| | |##|##|
+- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +
|67| |##|68| | |##|69| |##|6a| | | |##|6b| | | |##|
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- +- +-+- +
|6c| | |##|##| |##|6d| | | |##|##|6e| | | | |##|6f|
+-+- +- +- +- +- +-+ +- +- +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+

THE CLUES:

Across
1. This band must've been desperate for publicity to give an interview to Slashdot!
5. Crapflooder impersonated well by Silicon Simian.
7. A special treat you earn for Bad Posting.
0A. Sean Kelly's ex-lover and former SlashNET IRCop.
0E. Ew! Between the eyes!
0F. This dog won't mess your carpet, shed fur all over the place, or do much else besides consume batteries.
11. Living proof that you get what you pay for.
12. The soundtrack for the World Wide Web.
14. Disney makes money to destroy free speech on the Internet every time you buy ____ on DVD.
15. Slashcode's overglorified killfile.
17. You were writing FOX about "The Tick" when you should've been writing your congressman about this bill.
18. A very Snotty troll.
1A. This young Afghan loves watching movies and JonKatz on his C64.
1D. The best text editor EVER!
1E. What you say!! If you say it one more time, I'll bludgeon you to death!
1F. These guys gave Linux mono.
25. These shiny discs feed money into a bloated media cartel and stifle fair use rights, but you buy them by the millions anyway.
28. Slashdot's top comment poster and story submitter.
2A. These networks "disrupt" artists' cash flows.
2B. Open Source codeword for amphetamines.
2D. RAM type optimized for Extended Data Output on old Pentiums.
2E. Hillary Rosen knows you're just itching to steal Charley Pride's __.
30. A hack to get a kernel designed only to boot off floppy disks to boot off a hard drive.
31. ___ BREAK HEAD WITH OPEN-SOURCE CD!!!
32. Marketers who resort to this tactic are worse than Hitler and should be tortured and killed.
33. This desktop environment kicks GNOME's ass!
35. Microsoft sold off this Unix, and it's gone downhill ever since.
38. An essential e-mail utility for child pornographers and terrorists.
3B. (0A Down)'s lucky number.
3C. It's not Unix, and it shows.
3D. Preface for 90% of Slashdot comments, and 100% of CmdrTaco's personal ads.
3F. Where non-free software goes on your file system.
41. You better mark all the comments as ____ in metamod unless you want to lose karma.
42. This international standards body, no matter what you may think, does NOT read Slashdot.
44. Head bitch of the RIAA.
46. A primitive chat program superseded by AOL Instant Messenger.
49. An online webzine which demonstrated that online subscriptions don't work to everybody except CmdrTaco.
4B. If you moderate in a way CmdrTaco doesn't like, you earn this special database flag.
4C. vi does a poor job of emulating this standard Unix text editor.
4D. To B or not __ _.
4E. You won't get much use out of this text-recognition technology if all you use your scanner for is scanning your ass.
50. The sound Michael's head makes when he's stuffing it up his rectum.
52. Unique index for a whole LIST of babble.
53. The world's best operating system!
54. Father of Methuselah, or old-school Slashdot troll.
55. You don't need to be a Kreskin to predict this operating system's future.
56. Most geeks sleep through this half of the day.
57. This open-source man was Natalie's first.
58. Carly's mission is to steer this company into the ground.
59. mimbleton's favorite subject prefix.
5A. Chewing this might help your babbling problem.
5C. Programming language named after Lord Byron's daughter.
5F. Dead drummer for CmdrTaco's favorite band, or ridiculous Liberal myth.
61. Every Slashdotter's dream is to get one of these.
62. The Firm that is spelling Armageddon for free speech on The Net.
64. These networks are the beginning of Disorganized Crime.
65. Shitty "bitch band" whose leader likes to bitch about the RIAA.
66. The only Adequacy [adequacy.org] [adequacy.org] editor with a real PhD.
67. I think 7 over 22 is both backwards AND wrong.
68. Mentioning this droid (and others) is what is keeping you from getting laid.
69. Two-letter country code for Oman.
6A. Giving a ____ Necklace involves "coming" on Heidi Wall's bosom.
6B. What people who can't afford Visual Studio use to search text files.
6C. This hacker tool is often used to replace "characters" in "strings".
6D. QueenTaco's maiden name.
6E. The best text editor EVER!
6F. The PDP-11 assembler that thinks it's a programming language.

Down
1. Taco thinks that a purchase of his publicly traded company's services is a ___.
2. The self-centered Windows 9x release after 98SE.
3. 3D Tamagotchi game designed by Peter Molyneux.
4. A crippled Photoshop wannabe.
5. Lock your penis bird in a cage to protect it from this text-outputting animal.
6. Russian Geeks in Space.
7. If your karma surpasses 25, you have this and a problem.
8. Luckily, michael was born too late to join THIS party.
9. If this Slashdot section's color scheme doesn't drive you away, Michael's snotty editorial remarks will.
0A. Suffering cerebral palsy didn't stop him from becoming Surprised by Wealth.
0B. The market leader in megahertz lies.
0C. Statement used to declare variables in Visual Basic.
0D. Media cartel dedicated to protecting Britney Spears from dirty hackers.
10. Once the greatest Karma Whore ever, now a suicidal loser seen only on (33 Down).
13. Game console that bankrupted its parent company because of hackers making free games for it.
16. The only Unix understandable by non-geeks.
18. (40 Down) likes his pages ____.
19. Do many eyes make all bugs shallow, or do too many cooks spoil the broth?
1C. Research? Linux? Software? Whatever!
20. The first step towards failure for Linux companies.
21. Every Slashdotter's duty (except those marked with (4B Across)).
22. Apple's stylish new IP theft device.
23. (43 Down)'s employer.
24. A flaky Open-Source knockoff of (38 Across).
26. ESR's birthday present to RMS.
27. This primitive operating system denies any service to its users.
29. Unique index for a particular piece of babble.
2C. A tasty breakfast treat -- down your pants!
2E. You hit this once you get 50 karma points.
2F. This marketing guy troll sure is dumb!
33. This site is decidedly not Slashdot.
34. An easy way to lose all your karma is to offer your account for sale on this popular auction site.
35. Unfortunately, this famous online Nazi's treatment of the Censorware Project [sethf.com] [sethf.com] wasn't just a game.
36. Two-letter country code for the 51st state.
37. A geek's computer is always __.
39. ____, Lover, Aesthete, Programmer. There is no contradiction.
3A. The XP makes it go faster!
3E. The world's worst operating system!
40. The only troll with a freaks list longer than JonKatz'.
41. The OS all the cool people use now that Linux isn't trendy anymore.
43. A top-flight IT consultant who somehow manages to find time in his busy schedule to post to Slashdot.
45. What comes after as(1) and before strip(1) in the C build process.
47. VA Software has the world's worst ___.
48. This Senate bill comes closer to passing every time you go to see Lord of the Rings again.
4A. Legalized child pornography.
4F. What the Greeks went to Delphi for, Geeks go to this state for.
51. The Hellmouth should've eaten you here.
53. This rocker's battle against file-sharing networks won't end until he can Kill 'Em All.
5A. This desktop environment kicks KDE's ass!
5B. This modest and self-effacing troll was one of the first on Slashdot.
5C. You'd have to think different to justify spending money on this company's overpriced products.
5D. A game console which thought it was a full-featured computer system.
5E. Cofounder of Chips 'n' Dips.
5F. It may not have the best sound quality, but at least it's better than Ogg Vorbis.
60. Preface for the 10% of Slashdot comments not prefaced with (3D Across).
63. Apple stole all their ideas from this research group.
64. Bye bye, miss USian ___, drove the Cruiser like some loser who starts posts with a *sigh* ...
65. A dynamically updated list of the biggest losers on Slashdot.
67. Standard programming language implemented by most high-end printers.
6F. This language's lack of bounds checking is responsible for 90% of software security holes out there.

fin

Look, if we just chrome the moon, then we can use the reflected sunlight (well, for most of the month) to light the earth at night, and so our solar panels would never be without a source of energy. Problem solved. Get with it people.

After writing an even loooonger discussion about the site and having it all erased in a system crash, this will be a short version. (On the second reading: ha-ha).

* The web service provider www.truepath.com/ has been online since September 1997. They are definitely for real and serves many, many other cristian sites. Let's not scan or bomb them. They are doing a great job handling the slashdot effect - we have seen many other sites choke immediately.

It all looks very, very much like a real site. Some glitches point in the hoax-direction however:

* On the member page, it is very hard to find any evidence of any pastors or doctors on the web. However, searching for '"Tim Allmon" baptist' on Google returns two hits.
-The Digital Missourian: Citing
"Tim Allmon, 22, plans to vote for Bush. But the Southern Methodist University student says he is tired of candidates "putting on the fake happy face, shaking hands and kissing babies.""
There is acutally a guy called Tim Allmon, about the age (24) of the portrait on the member page, studying at the Southern Methodist University. Sounds OK to study at the Methodist Univeristy if you are ultra christian, but I guess there are 10.000 other students there that are not, on the other hand...

The second link is not about our guy anyway.

* The bible verses they have chosen are good reading.
Tim Allmon, the treasurer, chose Mattew 22:17-22... (bible citations from bible.gospelcom.net)
"Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay taxes to Caesar or not?" But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, "You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? Show me the coin used for paying the tax." They brought him a denarius, and he asked them, "Whose portrait is this? And whose inscription?" "Caesar's," they replied. Then he said to them, "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's." When they heard this, they were amazed. So they left him and went away."

Too good to be true? You judge. But the femnine looking Peggy Miller's choice is Luke 11:21:
""When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his possessions are safe."

Pastor Jose Rosas is also surprising. Claiming to work in "the ecumenical Catholic Outreach Baptist Ministries" is exceedingly hard to believe for me. If the catholic and baptist acutally had any collaborations, we would find it on Google... Wouldn't we? Again, we are directed to Objective as the first link...
Corinthians 8:1-13 is not that obvious either...

Kyle Goodman then. His story is almost too good to be true... We can read in the Google cache (to save his Geocities accound from flooding) that he was salvaged by Jim Carlson of the Objective site. He first was a "bad guy" with a webpage against Jim Carlson and pro Landover. Now he has changed and is against Landover. It is hard to know if he is serious. Would anybody changing mind so drastically still keep their old web page that insulted what you now believe in? (His pages are still up on Geocities, but they are often overloaded so use the Google cache instead.
There is some really good reading in Kyles guestbook. I especially like a comment (KirthGersen - 11/22/00 06:05:12):
"Taking parody to the razor's edge... The fact that you left your old site up shows you are faking your conversion. The fact that those idiots at Shutdown Landover believe you shows that they are really, really dumb. Congrats on your parody - it's quite convincing. Can't wait till you suddenly fall from grace - should be hilarious!"

Furthermore, Kyle Goldman is a very uncommon name in Google. Most hits points into golf result tables. Some link actually points to the Faith Presbyterian Church in Huntsville, Alabama, were they have posted the participants in the cermon (how about that privacy?). Actually Melissa Goldman also participated. This seem strange as Kyle have chocked his jewish parents when converting as the Objective site says. Maybe this Kyle Goldman is not the one we are looking for...

One of the links points to a sermon that was held the 15th of October 2000, which is only two days after Kyle's last note on his Geocities webpage. It seems normal to me that a young newcomer in a presbyterian congregation would be asked to lead the prayers.

The golf-playing Kyle was a freshman in Temple Highschool in Bell County, Texas in 1997 (See this link, and this directory listing). Is he the same Kyle Goldman? There also seems to be a horse-riding and -judging Kyle Goldman that originates from Washington in Wilkes county, Georgia. Btw, his horse is named Cookie.

Aaaarghhh. I want to know the truth!

Conclusion
It is harder for me to believe that someone spends the enormous amount of work on a site likeObjective for fun rather than if they do believe in it. (On the other hand it may be hard for people to believe that someone spent the time to write this :-) The only obvious people that could do it "for fun" is the Landover crew (and they are probably overloaded with that site, plus they specialize in sharp and clear irony) and Kyle Goldman that has a very different style on his other webpage. Faking the artwork on the Objective site would also take lots of skill and time.

This has largely turned out to be a study if the people named above really exist. It is hard to determine that using only the Internet, and it gets even harder when the persons are not supposed to use the 'net because of its low moral. It is next to impossible as the pages in discussion lack real-world adresses. Even if that is a sign of a hoax, nobody that tried leaving their mail adress on a page like that would do it again. They may be misinformed, but they are not stupid...

So, I choose to believe that there acutally are people different enough and determined to set up a site like Objective because they do believe in it for real. If anybody have hard evidence of the opposite, I welcome it.

...or maybe I think it is a hoax... :-) /Fredrik

After writing an even loooonger discussion about the site and having it all erased in a system crash, this will be a short version. (On the second reading: ha-ha).

* The web service provider www.truepath.com/ has been online since September 1997. They are definitely for real and serves many, many other cristian sites. Let's not scan or bomb them. They are doing a great job handling the slashdot effect - we have seen many other sites choke immediately.

It all looks very, very much like a real site. Some glitches point in the hoax-direction however:

* On the member page, it is very hard to find any evidence of any pastors or doctors on the web. However, searching for '"Tim Allmon" baptist' on Google returns two hits.
-The Digital Missourian: Citing
"Tim Allmon, 22, plans to vote for Bush. But the Southern Methodist University student says he is tired of candidates "putting on the fake happy face, shaking hands and kissing babies.""
There is acutally a guy called Tim Allmon, about the age (24) of the portrait on the member page, studying at the Southern Methodist University. Sounds OK to study at the Methodist Univeristy if you are ultra christian, but I guess there are 10.000 other students there that are not, on the other hand...

The second link is not about our guy anyway.

* The bible verses they have chosen are good reading.
Tim Allmon, the treasurer, chose Mattew 22:17-22... (bible citations from bible.gospelcom.net)
"Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay taxes to Caesar or not?" But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, "You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? Show me the coin used for paying the tax." They brought him a denarius, and he asked them, "Whose portrait is this? And whose inscription?" "Caesar's," they replied. Then he said to them, "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's." When they heard this, they were amazed. So they left him and went away."

Too good to be true? You judge. But the femnine looking Peggy Miller's choice is Luke 11:21:
""When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his possessions are safe."

Pastor Jose Rosas is also surprising. Claiming to work in "the ecumenical Catholic Outreach Baptist Ministries" is exceedingly hard to believe for me. If the catholic and baptist acutally had any collaborations, we would find it on Google... Wouldn't we? Again, we are directed to Objective as the first link...
Corinthians 8:1-13 is not that obvious either...

Kyle Goodman then. His story is almost too good to be true... We can read in the Google cache (to save his Geocities accound from flooding) that he was salvaged by Jim Carlson of the Objective site. He first was a "bad guy" with a webpage against Jim Carlson and pro Landover. Now he has changed and is against Landover. It is hard to know if he is serious. Would anybody changing mind so drastically still keep their old web page that insulted what you now believe in? (His pages are still up on Geocities, but they are often overloaded so use the Google cache instead.
There is some really good reading in Kyles guestbook. I especially like a comment (KirthGersen - 11/22/00 06:05:12):
"Taking parody to the razor's edge... The fact that you left your old site up shows you are faking your conversion. The fact that those idiots at Shutdown Landover believe you shows that they are really, really dumb. Congrats on your parody - it's quite convincing. Can't wait till you suddenly fall from grace - should be hilarious!"

Furthermore, Kyle Goldman is a very uncommon name in Google. Most hits points into golf result tables. Some link actually points to the Faith Presbyterian Church in Huntsville, Alabama, were they have posted the participants in the cermon (how about that privacy?). Actually Melissa Goldman also participated. This seem strange as Kyle have chocked his jewish parents when converting as the Objective site says. Maybe this Kyle Goldman is not the one we are looking for...

One of the links points to a sermon that was held the 15th of October 2000, which is only two days after Kyle's last note on his Geocities webpage. It seems normal to me that a young newcomer in a presbyterian congregation would be asked to lead the prayers.

The golf-playing Kyle was a freshman in Temple Highschool in Bell County, Texas in 1997 (See this link, and this directory listing). Is he the same Kyle Goldman? There also seems to be a horse-riding and -judging Kyle Goldman that originates from Washington in Wilkes county, Georgia. Btw, his horse is named Cookie.

Aaaarghhh. I want to know the truth!

Conclusion
It is harder for me to believe that someone spends the enormous amount of work on a site likeObjective for fun rather than if they do believe in it. (On the other hand it may be hard for people to believe that someone spent the time to write this :-) The only obvious people that could do it "for fun" is the Landover crew (and they are probably overloaded with that site, plus they specialize in sharp and clear irony) and Kyle Goldman that has a very different style on his other webpage. Faking the artwork on the Objective site would also take lots of skill and time.

This has largely turned out to be a study if the people named above really exist. It is hard to determine that using only the Internet, and it gets even harder when the persons are not supposed to use the 'net because of its low moral. It is next to impossible as the pages in discussion lack real-world adresses. Even if that is a sign of a hoax, nobody that tried leaving their mail adress on a page like that would do it again. They may be misinformed, but they are not stupid...

So, I choose to believe that there acutally are people different enough and determined to set up a site like Objective because they do believe in it for real. If anybody have hard evidence of the opposite, I welcome it.

...or maybe I think it is a hoax... :-) /Fredrik

<META name="generator" content="Our Lord Jesus Christ, Who hath generated all">

<META name="generator" content="Our Lord Jesus Christ, Who hath generated all">

jimcarlson@ilovejesus.net -- real domain name of real, free, web-based email (address unverified)

amiller@minister.com -- site not up, whois shows owned by afternic, a domain reseller

timtax777@msn.com -- address unverified, could be fake

tfranklin@antioccult.org -- site doesn't show, whois shows no owner, Register domain here

diamondjack@nacgt.org -- register nagct.org here

cobm16273@aol.com -- see MSN address above

holby4life@christianemail.net -- site not up, whois says registered to Strang Communications; this "member's" homepage is hosted for free

drdinosaur@covenant.org -- Richard Paley does not appear on the covenant.org site staff-contact page

zounds@groovy.nu -- domain forwards to a Danish site

I could go on, but I think you see the point. A hoax, but an elaborate one.

Note: Now that the Great Slashdot Blackout has started, many of you are probably wondering what you can do instead of post relevant comments (remember, no comments from April 21-27!). Well, the answer is to solve this puzzle! Feel free to repost this puzzle as many times as possible so everyone gets a fair chance to play, and if you have moderator points, mod it up so that (again) everyone gets a fair chance to play. The puzzle contest is over when the Slashdot Blackout is over! After the Blackout is over, please, return to your regularly scheduled activities and don't repost the puzzle anymore. Thanks!

Now's your chance to see just how well you've been paying attention during the past four years of chips, dips, Micro$loth, Napster, IPOs, BSD, rights online, editor censorship, and of course Linux, Linux, Linux! Complete the following professional-quality crossword puzzle chock full of trivia on Slashdot, Open Source, and geekiness in general for not only posterity but GREAT PRIZES!! Prizes include the following:

A fresh box of QUAKER GRITS [quakergrits.com] [quakergrits.com]!
Your very own SLASHDOT CRUISER [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]!
A hot date [ea.com] [ea.com] with NATALIE PORTMAN [natalieportman.com] [natalieportman.com]!
A genuine VA Lin^H^H^HSOFTWARE STOCK CERTIFICATE [vasoftware.com] [vasoftware.com]!

It doesn't get much better than this, folks! Here's how to play:

Fill in the crossword completely. No incomplete (or incorrect) solutions will be considered.
Once you're sure you have the crossword completely figured out, submit it to slashdot_crossword at engineer.com [mailto] [mailto]. If you indeed have the solution, one of the above four prizes are yours! The prizes are in limited supply (well, except for the VA stock certificates), so get those solutions in early!
The winners will be announced on 2002/04/28, to be praised in -1 crapfloods for all eternity (or at least until the crapflooders get bored and go back to posting gay Slashdot editor fanfics).

While we fully assert that this crossword is professional quality, there are of course some variations from the standard crossword form to make things more interesting for the Slashdot crowd. Some answers are used more than once. Digits (0-9) exist in some answers. Some clues are repeated with different answers. Many of the answers are acronyms or initialisms; if the answer that comes to mind doesn't fit, try thinking of common abbreviations for it. And, of course, the crossword indices are all in hexadecimal (this is Slashdot, after all!)

So, without further ado, here comes the crossword! Plain HTML is admittedly ugly and unpleasant to look at, so you may download and print a nice PDF version here [geocities.com] [geocities.com]. Good luck!

+-+- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +-+- +
|1 |2 |3 |4 |##|5 |6 |##|7 | |8 |##|9 |##|0a| |0b|0c|##|0d|
+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|0e| | | |##|0f| |10| |##| |##|11| | |##|12| |13| |
+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- + +- +- +-+- +
| |##|##| |##|14| | | |##|15|16| |##| |##|17| | | |
+- +- - +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +
|##|18| | |19|##|##|1a| |1b| | |##|##|##|1c|####|##| |
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- +- +-+- +
|1d| |##|##| |##|1e| | | |##|1f|20|21|22| |23|##|24|##|
+ +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- - +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|##|25|26|27| |##|##| |##|28|29|##|2a| | |##|2b|2c| |##|
+- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +-+
|##|2d| | |##|2e|2f|##|##|30| | | |##| |##|31| | |##|
+- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|##|##|##|32| | | |##|##|##| |##|##|33| |34|##| |##|##|
+-+- +- +- +- ++- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- + + +- +- +-+- +
|35|36|37|##|##|38| |39|##|3a|##|##|3b| |##| |##|3c| | |
+-+-+- +- +- ++- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- - +- +- +- + +- +
|3d| | | |3e|##|##|3f| | |##|40|##|##|41| | | |##|##|
+-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +- +- + - +- +- + +-+- +
| |##|##|##|42| |43| |##|44| | |45| | | |##|46|47|48|
+- +- - +- + +- +- +-+- +- +- + +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +
|49|4a| | | |##|4b| | | |##|4c| |##| |##|##|4d| | |
+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +
|##| |##|##| |##| |##|##|4e|4f| |##|50| |51|##|52| | |
+-+- +- + +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- + +- +- + +- +- +
|53| | | | |##| |##|54| | | | |##|55| | |##|##| |
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- + +- +
|56| |##|##|##|57| | |##|##|##| |##|##| |##|##|##|58| |
+- +- +- - +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +
|59| |##|##|##|##| |##|5a| |5b|##|##|5c| |5d|##|5e|##| |
+- +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +-+- +
| |##|##|5f| |60| |##| |##| |##|61| |##|62|63| | |##|
+- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +- - +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +
|##|64| | |##| |##|65| | | |##|##| |##|66| | |##|##|
+- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +
|67| |##|68| | |##|69| |##|6a| | | |##|6b| | | |##|
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- +- +-+- +
|6c| | |##|##| |##|6d| | | |##|##|6e| | | | |##|6f|
+-+- +- +- +- +- +-+ +- +- +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+

THE CLUES:

Across
1. This band must've been desperate for publicity to give an interview to Slashdot!
5. Crapflooder impersonated well by Silicon Simian.
7. A special treat you earn for Bad Posting.
0A. Sean Kelly's ex-lover and former SlashNET IRCop.
0E. Ew! Between the eyes!
0F. This dog won't mess your carpet, shed fur all over the place, or do much else besides consume batteries.
11. Living proof that you get what you pay for.
12. The soundtrack for the World Wide Web.
14. Disney makes money to destroy free speech on the Internet every time you buy ____ on DVD.
15. Slashcode's overglorified killfile.
17. You were writing FOX about "The Tick" when you should've been writing your congressman about this bill.
18. A very Snotty troll.
1A. This young Afghan loves watching movies and JonKatz on his C64.
1D. The best text editor EVER!
1E. What you say!! If you say it one more time, I'll bludgeon you to death!
1F. These guys gave Linux mono.
25. These shiny discs feed money into a bloated media cartel and stifle fair use rights, but you buy them by the millions anyway.
28. Slashdot's top comment poster and story submitter.
2A. These networks "disrupt" artists' cash flows.
2B. Open Source codeword for amphetamines.
2D. RAM type optimized for Extended Data Output on old Pentiums.
2E. Hillary Rosen knows you're just itching to steal Charley Pride's __.
30. A hack to get a kernel designed only to boot off floppy disks to boot off a hard drive.
31. ___ BREAK HEAD WITH OPEN-SOURCE CD!!!
32. Marketers who resort to this tactic are worse than Hitler and should be tortured and killed.
33. This desktop environment kicks GNOME's ass!
35. Microsoft sold off this Unix, and it's gone downhill ever since.
38. An essential e-mail utility for child pornographers and terrorists.
3B. (0A Down)'s lucky number.
3C. It's not Unix, and it shows.
3D. Preface for 90% of Slashdot comments, and 100% of CmdrTaco's personal ads.
3F. Where non-free software goes on your file system.
41. You better mark all the comments as ____ in metamod unless you want to lose karma.
42. This international standards body, no matter what you may think, does NOT read Slashdot.
44. Head bitch of the RIAA.
46. A primitive chat program superseded by AOL Instant Messenger.
49. An online webzine which demonstrated that online subscriptions don't work to everybody except CmdrTaco.
4B. If you moderate in a way CmdrTaco doesn't like, you earn this special database flag.
4C. vi does a poor job of emulating this standard Unix text editor.
4D. To B or not __ _.
4E. You won't get much use out of this text-recognition technology if all you use your scanner for is scanning your ass.
50. The sound Michael's head makes when he's stuffing it up his rectum.
52. Unique index for a whole LIST of babble.
53. The world's best operating system!
54. Father of Methuselah, or old-school Slashdot troll.
55. You don't need to be a Kreskin to predict this operating system's future.
56. Most geeks sleep through this half of the day.
57. This open-source man was Natalie's first.
58. Carly's mission is to steer this company into the ground.
59. mimbleton's favorite subject prefix.
5A. Chewing this might help your babbling problem.
5C. Programming language named after Lord Byron's daughter.
5F. Dead drummer for CmdrTaco's favorite band, or ridiculous Liberal myth.
61. Every Slashdotter's dream is to get one of these.
62. The Firm that is spelling Armageddon for free speech on The Net.
64. These networks are the beginning of Disorganized Crime.
65. Shitty "bitch band" whose leader likes to bitch about the RIAA.
66. The only Adequacy [adequacy.org] [adequacy.org] editor with a real PhD.
67. I think 7 over 22 is both backwards AND wrong.
68. Mentioning this droid (and others) is what is keeping you from getting laid.
69. Two-letter country code for Oman.
6A. Giving a ____ Necklace involves "coming" on Heidi Wall's bosom.
6B. What people who can't afford Visual Studio use to search text files.
6C. This hacker tool is often used to replace "characters" in "strings".
6D. QueenTaco's maiden name.
6E. The best text editor EVER!
6F. The PDP-11 assembler that thinks it's a programming language.

Down
1. Taco thinks that a purchase of his publicly traded company's services is a ___.
2. The self-centered Windows 9x release after 98SE.
3. 3D Tamagotchi game designed by Peter Molyneux.
4. A crippled Photoshop wannabe.
5. Lock your penis bird in a cage to protect it from this text-outputting animal.
6. Russian Geeks in Space.
7. If your karma surpasses 25, you have this and a problem.
8. Luckily, michael was born too late to join THIS party.
9. If this Slashdot section's color scheme doesn't drive you away, Michael's snotty editorial remarks will.
0A. Suffering cerebral palsy didn't stop him from becoming Surprised by Wealth.
0B. The market leader in megahertz lies.
0C. Statement used to declare variables in Visual Basic.
0D. Media cartel dedicated to protecting Britney Spears from dirty hackers.
10. Once the greatest Karma Whore ever, now a suicidal loser seen only on (33 Down).
13. Game console that bankrupted its parent company because of hackers making free games for it.
16. The only Unix understandable by non-geeks.
18. (40 Down) likes his pages ____.
19. Do many eyes make all bugs shallow, or do too many cooks spoil the broth?
1C. Research? Linux? Software? Whatever!
20. The first step towards failure for Linux companies.
21. Every Slashdotter's duty (except those marked with (4B Across)).
22. Apple's stylish new IP theft device.
23. (43 Down)'s employer.
24. A flaky Open-Source knockoff of (38 Across).
26. ESR's birthday present to RMS.
27. This primitive operating system denies any service to its users.
29. Unique index for a particular piece of babble.
2C. A tasty breakfast treat -- down your pants!
2E. You hit this once you get 50 karma points.
2F. This marketing guy troll sure is dumb!
33. This site is decidedly not Slashdot.
34. An easy way to lose all your karma is to offer your account for sale on this popular auction site.
35. Unfortunately, this famous online Nazi's treatment of the Censorware Project [sethf.com] [sethf.com] wasn't just a game.
36. Two-letter country code for the 51st state.
37. A geek's computer is always __.
39. ____, Lover, Aesthete, Programmer. There is no contradiction.
3A. The XP makes it go faster!
3E. The world's worst operating system!
40. The only troll with a freaks list longer than JonKatz'.
41. The OS all the cool people use now that Linux isn't trendy anymore.
43. A top-flight IT consultant who somehow manages to find time in his busy schedule to post to Slashdot.
45. What comes after as(1) and before strip(1) in the C build process.
47. VA Software has the world's worst ___.
48. This Senate bill comes closer to passing every time you go to see Lord of the Rings again.
4A. Legalized child pornography.
4F. What the Greeks went to Delphi for, Geeks go to this state for.
51. The Hellmouth should've eaten you here.
53. This rocker's battle against file-sharing networks won't end until he can Kill 'Em All.
5A. This desktop environment kicks KDE's ass!
5B. This modest and self-effacing troll was one of the first on Slashdot.
5C. You'd have to think different to justify spending money on this company's overpriced products.
5D. A game console which thought it was a full-featured computer system.
5E. Cofounder of Chips 'n' Dips.
5F. It may not have the best sound quality, but at least it's better than Ogg Vorbis.
60. Preface for the 10% of Slashdot comments not prefaced with (3D Across).
63. Apple stole all their ideas from this research group.
64. Bye bye, miss USian ___, drove the Cruiser like some loser who starts posts with a *sigh* ...
65. A dynamically updated list of the biggest losers on Slashdot.
67. Standard programming language implemented by most high-end printers.
6F. This language's lack of bounds checking is responsible for 90% of software security holes out there.

fin

Note: Now that the Great Slashdot Blackout has started, many of you are probably wondering what you can do instead of post relevant comments (remember, no comments from April 21-27!). Well, the answer is to solve this puzzle! Feel free to repost this puzzle as many times as possible so everyone gets a fair chance to play, and if you have moderator points, mod it up so that (again) everyone gets a fair chance to play. The puzzle contest is over when the Slashdot Blackout is over! After the Blackout is over, please, return to your regularly scheduled activities and don't repost the puzzle anymore. Thanks!

Now's your chance to see just how well you've been paying attention during the past four years of chips, dips, Micro$loth, Napster, IPOs, BSD, rights online, editor censorship, and of course Linux, Linux, Linux! Complete the following professional-quality crossword puzzle chock full of trivia on Slashdot, Open Source, and geekiness in general for not only posterity but GREAT PRIZES!! Prizes include the following:

A fresh box of QUAKER GRITS [quakergrits.com] [quakergrits.com]!
Your very own SLASHDOT CRUISER [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]!
A hot date [ea.com] [ea.com] with NATALIE PORTMAN [natalieportman.com] [natalieportman.com]!
A genuine VA Lin^H^H^HSOFTWARE STOCK CERTIFICATE [vasoftware.com] [vasoftware.com]!

It doesn't get much better than this, folks! Here's how to play:

Fill in the crossword completely. No incomplete (or incorrect) solutions will be considered.
Once you're sure you have the crossword completely figured out, submit it to slashdot_crossword at engineer.com [mailto] [mailto]. If you indeed have the solution, one of the above four prizes are yours! The prizes are in limited supply (well, except for the VA stock certificates), so get those solutions in early!
The winners will be announced on 2002/04/28, to be praised in -1 crapfloods for all eternity (or at least until the crapflooders get bored and go back to posting gay Slashdot editor fanfics).

While we fully assert that this crossword is professional quality, there are of course some variations from the standard crossword form to make things more interesting for the Slashdot crowd. Some answers are used more than once. Digits (0-9) exist in some answers. Some clues are repeated with different answers. Many of the answers are acronyms or initialisms; if the answer that comes to mind doesn't fit, try thinking of common abbreviations for it. And, of course, the crossword indices are all in hexadecimal (this is Slashdot, after all!)

So, without further ado, here comes the crossword! Plain HTML is admittedly ugly and unpleasant to look at, so you may download and print a nice PDF version here [geocities.com] [geocities.com]. Good luck!

+-+- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +-+- +
|1 |2 |3 |4 |##|5 |6 |##|7 | |8 |##|9 |##|0a| |0b|0c|##|0d|
+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|0e| | | |##|0f| |10| |##| |##|11| | |##|12| |13| |
+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- + +- +- +-+- +
| |##|##| |##|14| | | |##|15|16| |##| |##|17| | | |
+- +- - +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +
|##|18| | |19|##|##|1a| |1b| | |##|##|##|1c|####|##| |
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- +- +-+- +
|1d| |##|##| |##|1e| | | |##|1f|20|21|22| |23|##|24|##|
+ +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- - +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|##|25|26|27| |##|##| |##|28|29|##|2a| | |##|2b|2c| |##|
+- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +-+
|##|2d| | |##|2e|2f|##|##|30| | | |##| |##|31| | |##|
+- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|##|##|##|32| | | |##|##|##| |##|##|33| |34|##| |##|##|
+-+- +- +- +- ++- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- + + +- +- +-+- +
|35|36|37|##|##|38| |39|##|3a|##|##|3b| |##| |##|3c| | |
+-+-+- +- +- ++- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- - +- +- +- + +- +
|3d| | | |3e|##|##|3f| | |##|40|##|##|41| | | |##|##|
+-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +- +- + - +- +- + +-+- +
| |##|##|##|42| |43| |##|44| | |45| | | |##|46|47|48|
+- +- - +- + +- +- +-+- +- +- + +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +
|49|4a| | | |##|4b| | | |##|4c| |##| |##|##|4d| | |
+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +
|##| |##|##| |##| |##|##|4e|4f| |##|50| |51|##|52| | |
+-+- +- + +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- + +- +- + +- +- +
|53| | | | |##| |##|54| | | | |##|55| | |##|##| |
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- + +- +
|56| |##|##|##|57| | |##|##|##| |##|##| |##|##|##|58| |
+- +- +- - +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +
|59| |##|##|##|##| |##|5a| |5b|##|##|5c| |5d|##|5e|##| |
+- +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +-+- +
| |##|##|5f| |60| |##| |##| |##|61| |##|62|63| | |##|
+- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +- - +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +
|##|64| | |##| |##|65| | | |##|##| |##|66| | |##|##|
+- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +
|67| |##|68| | |##|69| |##|6a| | | |##|6b| | | |##|
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- +- +-+- +
|6c| | |##|##| |##|6d| | | |##|##|6e| | | | |##|6f|
+-+- +- +- +- +- +-+ +- +- +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+

THE CLUES:

Across
1. This band must've been desperate for publicity to give an interview to Slashdot!
5. Crapflooder impersonated well by Silicon Simian.
7. A special treat you earn for Bad Posting.
0A. Sean Kelly's ex-lover and former SlashNET IRCop.
0E. Ew! Between the eyes!
0F. This dog won't mess your carpet, shed fur all over the place, or do much else besides consume batteries.
11. Living proof that you get what you pay for.
12. The soundtrack for the World Wide Web.
14. Disney makes money to destroy free speech on the Internet every time you buy ____ on DVD.
15. Slashcode's overglorified killfile.
17. You were writing FOX about "The Tick" when you should've been writing your congressman about this bill.
18. A very Snotty troll.
1A. This young Afghan loves watching movies and JonKatz on his C64.
1D. The best text editor EVER!
1E. What you say!! If you say it one more time, I'll bludgeon you to death!
1F. These guys gave Linux mono.
25. These shiny discs feed money into a bloated media cartel and stifle fair use rights, but you buy them by the millions anyway.
28. Slashdot's top comment poster and story submitter.
2A. These networks "disrupt" artists' cash flows.
2B. Open Source codeword for amphetamines.
2D. RAM type optimized for Extended Data Output on old Pentiums.
2E. Hillary Rosen knows you're just itching to steal Charley Pride's __.
30. A hack to get a kernel designed only to boot off floppy disks to boot off a hard drive.
31. ___ BREAK HEAD WITH OPEN-SOURCE CD!!!
32. Marketers who resort to this tactic are worse than Hitler and should be tortured and killed.
33. This desktop environment kicks GNOME's ass!
35. Microsoft sold off this Unix, and it's gone downhill ever since.
38. An essential e-mail utility for child pornographers and terrorists.
3B. (0A Down)'s lucky number.
3C. It's not Unix, and it shows.
3D. Preface for 90% of Slashdot comments, and 100% of CmdrTaco's personal ads.
3F. Where non-free software goes on your file system.
41. You better mark all the comments as ____ in metamod unless you want to lose karma.
42. This international standards body, no matter what you may think, does NOT read Slashdot.
44. Head bitch of the RIAA.
46. A primitive chat program superseded by AOL Instant Messenger.
49. An online webzine which demonstrated that online subscriptions don't work to everybody except CmdrTaco.
4B. If you moderate in a way CmdrTaco doesn't like, you earn this special database flag.
4C. vi does a poor job of emulating this standard Unix text editor.
4D. To B or not __ _.
4E. You won't get much use out of this text-recognition technology if all you use your scanner for is scanning your ass.
50. The sound Michael's head makes when he's stuffing it up his rectum.
52. Unique index for a whole LIST of babble.
53. The world's best operating system!
54. Father of Methuselah, or old-school Slashdot troll.
55. You don't need to be a Kreskin to predict this operating system's future.
56. Most geeks sleep through this half of the day.
57. This open-source man was Natalie's first.
58. Carly's mission is to steer this company into the ground.
59. mimbleton's favorite subject prefix.
5A. Chewing this might help your babbling problem.
5C. Programming language named after Lord Byron's daughter.
5F. Dead drummer for CmdrTaco's favorite band, or ridiculous Liberal myth.
61. Every Slashdotter's dream is to get one of these.
62. The Firm that is spelling Armageddon for free speech on The Net.
64. These networks are the beginning of Disorganized Crime.
65. Shitty "bitch band" whose leader likes to bitch about the RIAA.
66. The only Adequacy [adequacy.org] [adequacy.org] editor with a real PhD.
67. I think 7 over 22 is both backwards AND wrong.
68. Mentioning this droid (and others) is what is keeping you from getting laid.
69. Two-letter country code for Oman.
6A. Giving a ____ Necklace involves "coming" on Heidi Wall's bosom.
6B. What people who can't afford Visual Studio use to search text files.
6C. This hacker tool is often used to replace "characters" in "strings".
6D. QueenTaco's maiden name.
6E. The best text editor EVER!
6F. The PDP-11 assembler that thinks it's a programming language.

Down
1. Taco thinks that a purchase of his publicly traded company's services is a ___.
2. The self-centered Windows 9x release after 98SE.
3. 3D Tamagotchi game designed by Peter Molyneux.
4. A crippled Photoshop wannabe.
5. Lock your penis bird in a cage to protect it from this text-outputting animal.
6. Russian Geeks in Space.
7. If your karma surpasses 25, you have this and a problem.
8. Luckily, michael was born too late to join THIS party.
9. If this Slashdot section's color scheme doesn't drive you away, Michael's snotty editorial remarks will.
0A. Suffering cerebral palsy didn't stop him from becoming Surprised by Wealth.
0B. The market leader in megahertz lies.
0C. Statement used to declare variables in Visual Basic.
0D. Media cartel dedicated to protecting Britney Spears from dirty hackers.
10. Once the greatest Karma Whore ever, now a suicidal loser seen only on (33 Down).
13. Game console that bankrupted its parent company because of hackers making free games for it.
16. The only Unix understandable by non-geeks.
18. (40 Down) likes his pages ____.
19. Do many eyes make all bugs shallow, or do too many cooks spoil the broth?
1C. Research? Linux? Software? Whatever!
20. The first step towards failure for Linux companies.
21. Every Slashdotter's duty (except those marked with (4B Across)).
22. Apple's stylish new IP theft device.
23. (43 Down)'s employer.
24. A flaky Open-Source knockoff of (38 Across).
26. ESR's birthday present to RMS.
27. This primitive operating system denies any service to its users.
29. Unique index for a particular piece of babble.
2C. A tasty breakfast treat -- down your pants!
2E. You hit this once you get 50 karma points.
2F. This marketing guy troll sure is dumb!
33. This site is decidedly not Slashdot.
34. An easy way to lose all your karma is to offer your account for sale on this popular auction site.
35. Unfortunately, this famous online Nazi's treatment of the Censorware Project [sethf.com] [sethf.com] wasn't just a game.
36. Two-letter country code for the 51st state.
37. A geek's computer is always __.
39. ____, Lover, Aesthete, Programmer. There is no contradiction.
3A. The XP makes it go faster!
3E. The world's worst operating system!
40. The only troll with a freaks list longer than JonKatz'.
41. The OS all the cool people use now that Linux isn't trendy anymore.
43. A top-flight IT consultant who somehow manages to find time in his busy schedule to post to Slashdot.
45. What comes after as(1) and before strip(1) in the C build process.
47. VA Software has the world's worst ___.
48. This Senate bill comes closer to passing every time you go to see Lord of the Rings again.
4A. Legalized child pornography.
4F. What the Greeks went to Delphi for, Geeks go to this state for.
51. The Hellmouth should've eaten you here.
53. This rocker's battle against file-sharing networks won't end until he can Kill 'Em All.
5A. This desktop environment kicks KDE's ass!
5B. This modest and self-effacing troll was one of the first on Slashdot.
5C. You'd have to think different to justify spending money on this company's overpriced products.
5D. A game console which thought it was a full-featured computer system.
5E. Cofounder of Chips 'n' Dips.
5F. It may not have the best sound quality, but at least it's better than Ogg Vorbis.
60. Preface for the 10% of Slashdot comments not prefaced with (3D Across).
63. Apple stole all their ideas from this research group.
64. Bye bye, miss USian ___, drove the Cruiser like some loser who starts posts with a *sigh* ...
65. A dynamically updated list of the biggest losers on Slashdot.
67. Standard programming language implemented by most high-end printers.
6F. This language's lack of bounds checking is responsible for 90% of software security holes out there.

fin

Now's your chance to see just how well you've been paying attention during the past four years of chips, dips, Micro$loth, Napster, IPOs, BSD, rights online, editor censorship, and of course Linux, Linux, Linux! Complete the following professional-quality crossword puzzle chock full of trivia on Slashdot, Open Source, and geekiness in general for not only posterity but GREAT PRIZES!! Prizes include the following:

A fresh box of QUAKER GRITS [quakergrits.com]!
Your very own SLASHDOT CRUISER [slashdot.org]!
A hot date [ea.com] with NATALIE PORTMAN [natalieportman.com]!
A genuine VA Lin^H^H^HSOFTWARE STOCK CERTIFICATE [vasoftware.com]!

It doesn't get much better than this, folks! Here's how to play:

Fill in the crossword completely. No incomplete (or incorrect) solutions will be considered.
Once you're sure you have the crossword completely figured out, submit it to slashdot_crossword at engineer.com [mailto]. If you indeed have the solution, one of the above four prizes are yours! The prizes are in limited supply (well, except for the VA stock certificates), so get those solutions in early!
The winners will be announced on 2002/04/28, to be praised in -1 crapfloods for all eternity (or at least until the crapflooders get bored and go back to posting gay Slashdot editor fanfics).

While we fully assert that this crossword is professional quality, there are of course some variations from the standard crossword form to make things more interesting for the Slashdot crowd. Some answers are used more than once. Digits (0-9) exist in some answers. Some clues are repeated with different answers. Many of the answers are acronyms or initialisms; if the answer that comes to mind doesn't fit, try thinking of common abbreviations for it. And, of course, the crossword indices are all in hexadecimal (this is Slashdot, after all!)

So, without further ado, here comes the crossword! Plain HTML is admittedly ugly and unpleasant to look at, so you may download and print a nice PDF version here [geocities.com]. Good luck!

+-+- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +-+- +
|1 |2 |3 |4 |##|5 |6 |##|7 | |8 |##|9 |##|0a| |0b|0c|##|0d|
+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|0e| | | |##|0f| |10| |##| |##|11| | |##|12| |13| |
+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- + +- +- +-+- +
| |##|##| |##|14| | | |##|15|16| |##| |##|17| | | |
+- +- - +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +
|##|18| | |19|##|##|1a| |1b| | |##|##|##|1c|####|##| |
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- +- +-+- +
|1d| |##|##| |##|1e| | | |##|1f|20|21|22| |23|##|24|##|
+ +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- - +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|##|25|26|27| |##|##| |##|28|29|##|2a| | |##|2b|2c| |##|
+- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +-+
|##|2d| | |##|2e|2f|##|##|30| | | |##| |##|31| | |##|
+- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|##|##|##|32| | | |##|##|##| |##|##|33| |34|##| |##|##|
+-+- +- +- +- ++- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- + + +- +- +-+- +
|35|36|37|##|##|38| |39|##|3a|##|##|3b| |##| |##|3c| | |
+-+-+- +- +- ++- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- - +- +- +- + +- +
|3d| | | |3e|##|##|3f| | |##|40|##|##|41| | | |##|##|
+-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +- +- + - +- +- + +-+- +
| |##|##|##|42| |43| |##|44| | |45| | | |##|46|47|48|
+- +- - +- + +- +- +-+- +- +- + +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +
|49|4a| | | |##|4b| | | |##|4c| |##| |##|##|4d| | |
+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +
|##| |##|##| |##| |##|##|4e|4f| |##|50| |51|##|52| | |
+-+- +- + +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- + +- +- + +- +- +
|53| | | | |##| |##|54| | | | |##|55| | |##|##| |
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- + +- +
|56| |##|##|##|57| | |##|##|##| |##|##| |##|##|##|58| |
+- +- +- - +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +
|59| |##|##|##|##| |##|5a| |5b|##|##|5c| |5d|##|5e|##| |
+- +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +-+- +
| |##|##|5f| |60| |##| |##| |##|61| |##|62|63| | |##|
+- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +- - +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +
|##|64| | |##| |##|65| | | |##|##| |##|66| | |##|##|
+- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +
|67| |##|68| | |##|69| |##|6a| | | |##|6b| | | |##|
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- +- +-+- +
|6c| | |##|##| |##|6d| | | |##|##|6e| | | | |##|6f|
+-+- +- +- +- +- +-+ +- +- +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+

THE CLUES:

Across
1. This band must've been desperate for publicity to give an interview to Slashdot!
5. Crapflooder impersonated well by Silicon Simian.
7. A special treat you earn for Bad Posting.
0A. Sean Kelly's ex-lover and former SlashNET IRCop.
0E. Ew! Between the eyes!
0F. This dog won't mess your carpet, shed fur all over the place, or do much else besides consume batteries.
11. Living proof that you get what you pay for.
12. The soundtrack for the World Wide Web.
14. Disney makes money to destroy free speech on the Internet every time you buy ____ on DVD.
15. Slashcode's overglorified killfile.
17. You were writing FOX about "The Tick" when you should've been writing your congressman about this bill.
18. A very Snotty troll.
1A. This young Afghan loves watching movies and JonKatz on his C64.
1D. The best text editor EVER!
1E. What you say!! If you say it one more time, I'll bludgeon you to death!
1F. These guys gave Linux mono.
25. These shiny discs feed money into a bloated media cartel and stifle fair use rights, but you buy them by the millions anyway.
28. Slashdot's top comment poster and story submitter.
2A. These networks "disrupt" artists' cash flows.
2B. Open Source codeword for amphetamines.
2D. RAM type optimized for Extended Data Output on old Pentiums.
2E. Hillary Rosen knows you're just itching to steal Charley Pride's __.
30. A hack to get a kernel designed only to boot off floppy disks to boot off a hard drive.
31. ___ BREAK HEAD WITH OPEN-SOURCE CD!!!
32. Marketers who resort to this tactic are worse than Hitler and should be tortured and killed.
33. This desktop environment kicks GNOME's ass!
35. Microsoft sold off this Unix, and it's gone downhill ever since.
38. An essential e-mail utility for child pornographers and terrorists.
3B. (0A Down)'s lucky number.
3C. It's not Unix, and it shows.
3D. Preface for 90% of Slashdot comments, and 100% of CmdrTaco's personal ads.
3F. Where non-free software goes on your file system.
41. You better mark all the comments as ____ in metamod unless you want to lose karma.
42. This international standards body, no matter what you may think, does NOT read Slashdot.
44. Head bitch of the RIAA.
46. A primitive chat program superseded by AOL Instant Messenger.
49. An online webzine which demonstrated that online subscriptions don't work to everybody except CmdrTaco.
4B. If you moderate in a way CmdrTaco doesn't like, you earn this special database flag.
4C. vi does a poor job of emulating this standard Unix text editor.
4D. To B or not __ _.
4E. You won't get much use out of this text-recognition technology if all you use your scanner for is scanning your ass.
50. The sound Michael's head makes when he's stuffing it up his rectum.
52. Unique index for a whole LIST of babble.
53. The world's best operating system!
54. Father of Methuselah, or old-school Slashdot troll.
55. You don't need to be a Kreskin to predict this operating system's future.
56. Most geeks sleep through this half of the day.
57. This open-source man was Natalie's first.
58. Carly's mission is to steer this company into the ground.
59. mimbleton's favorite subject prefix.
5A. Chewing this might help your babbling problem.
5C. Programming language named after Lord Byron's daughter.
5F. Dead drummer for CmdrTaco's favorite band, or ridiculous Liberal myth.
61. Every Slashdotter's dream is to get one of these.
62. The Firm that is spelling Armageddon for free speech on The Net.
64. These networks are the beginning of Disorganized Crime.
65. Shitty "bitch band" whose leader likes to bitch about the RIAA.
66. The only Adequacy [adequacy.org] editor with a real PhD.
67. I think 7 over 22 is both backwards AND wrong.
68. Mentioning this droid (and others) is what is keeping you from getting laid.
69. Two-letter country code for Oman.
6A. Giving a ____ Necklace involves "coming" on Heidi Wall's bosom.
6B. What people who can't afford Visual Studio use to search text files.
6C. This hacker tool is often used to replace "characters" in "strings".
6D. QueenTaco's maiden name.
6E. The best text editor EVER!
6F. The PDP-11 assembler that thinks it's a programming language.

Down
1. Taco thinks that a purchase of his publicly traded company's services is a ___.
2. The self-centered Windows 9x release after 98SE.
3. 3D Tamagotchi game designed by Peter Molyneux.
4. A crippled Photoshop wannabe.
5. Lock your penis bird in a cage to protect it from this text-outputting animal.
6. Russian Geeks in Space.
7. If your karma surpasses 25, you have this and a problem.
8. Luckily, michael was born too late to join THIS party.
9. If this Slashdot section's color scheme doesn't drive you away, Michael's snotty editorial remarks will.
0A. Suffering cerebral palsy didn't stop him from becoming Surprised by Wealth.
0B. The market leader in megahertz lies.
0C. Statement used to declare variables in Visual Basic.
0D. Media cartel dedicated to protecting Britney Spears from dirty hackers.
10. Once the greatest Karma Whore ever, now a suicidal loser seen only on (33 Down).
13. Game console that bankrupted its parent company because of hackers making free games for it.
16. The only Unix understandable by non-geeks.
18. (40 Down) likes his pages ____.
19. Do many eyes make all bugs shallow, or do too many cooks spoil the broth?
1C. Research? Linux? Software? Whatever!
20. The first step towards failure for Linux companies.
21. Every Slashdotter's duty (except those marked with (4B Across)).
22. Apple's stylish new IP theft device.
23. (43 Down)'s employer.
24. A flaky Open-Source knockoff of (38 Across).
26. ESR's birthday present to RMS.
27. This primitive operating system denies any service to its users.
29. Unique index for a particular piece of babble.
2C. A tasty breakfast treat -- down your pants!
2E. You hit this once you get 50 karma points.
2F. This marketing guy troll sure is dumb!
33. This site is decidedly not Slashdot.
34. An easy way to lose all your karma is to offer your account for sale on this popular auction site.
35. Unfortunately, this famous online Nazi's treatment of the Censorware Project [sethf.com] wasn't just a game.
36. Two-letter country code for the 51st state.
37. A geek's computer is always __.
39. ____, Lover, Aesthete, Programmer. There is no contradiction.
3A. The XP makes it go faster!
3E. The world's worst operating system!
40. The only troll with a freaks list longer than JonKatz'.
41. The OS all the cool people use now that Linux isn't trendy anymore.
43. A top-flight IT consultant who somehow manages to find time in his busy schedule to post to Slashdot.
45. What comes after as(1) and before strip(1) in the C build process.
47. VA Software has the world's worst ___.
48. This Senate bill comes closer to passing every time you go to see Lord of the Rings again.
4A. Legalized child pornography.
4F. What the Greeks went to Delphi for, Geeks go to this state for.
51. The Hellmouth should've eaten you here.
53. This rocker's battle against file-sharing networks won't end until he can Kill 'Em All.
5A. This desktop environment kicks KDE's ass!
5B. This modest and self-effacing troll was one of the first on Slashdot.
5C. You'd have to think different to justify spending money on this company's overpriced products.
5D. A game console which thought it was a full-featured computer system.
5E. Cofounder of Chips 'n' Dips.
5F. It may not have the best sound quality, but at least it's better than Ogg Vorbis.
60. Preface for the 10% of Slashdot comments not prefaced with (3D Across).
63. Apple stole all their ideas from this research group.
64. Bye bye, miss USian ___, drove the Cruiser like some loser who starts posts with a *sigh* ...
65. A dynamically updated list of the biggest losers on Slashdot.
67. Standard programming language implemented by most high-end printers.
6F. This language's lack of bounds checking is responsible for 90% of software security holes out there.

fin

maybe the cameras will have better luck

http://www.geocities.com/individualistanarchist/