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My, what an intellectual. No idiot box for you!

With the proliferation of DVRs and services like Netflix, only suckers watch commercials nowadays.

only after you put it in one of these first: http://www.theonion.com/content/video/new_babysafe_ball_makes_shaking

I don't doubt that. I just think that the situation's better than on the PC. Even if it's just because torrents for the Mac versions will be harder to come by.

Piracy rates on the PC are so bad that even slightly better rates on the Mac would make quite a difference. IIRC Paradox Interactive estimated from the number of people downloading patches and their statistics on how often the average registered user downloads a patch that more than 90% of the copies were illegal. And Europa Universalis's audience is probably less likely to pirate it than that of Close Range. (Although that's just a guess)

You mean you don't have a usb toaster? http://store.theonion.com/product/usb-powered-toastergift-box,29/

This is a joke, right?

Closely related: http://www.theonion.com/content/video/courageous_man_refuses_to_believe

I don't even own a TV!

Such as Prague's Franz Kafka International Airport

Actually, here's a very well respected source reporting on how sociopathic, narcissistic behaviour is present in children, regardless of video games A more serious explanation about the teen brain was on NPR this morning.

Bottom line, it can be proved that children, like cats (and Terry Pratchett elves) are cute and cudly but actually quite vile, evil little creatures.

And don't you suggest my kids are sociopaths because of video games, neither of them is even 5 yet. They haven't even learned about video games yet, but they are just starting to learn empathy. In fact anyone who looks at their kids with any kind of honest appraisal should tell you that they actually have to be conditioned NOT to be sociopathic.

'BYU has one of the largest collection of Jurassic dino bones in the world.'

Absolutely! In fact, groundbreaking research from Utah published earlier this month has overturned established theories of dinosaur posture and locomotion:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/paleontologists_weve_been

Unfortunately, certain questions remain unanswered:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/dinosaurs_sadly_extinct_before

'BYU has one of the largest collection of Jurassic dino bones in the world.'

Absolutely! In fact, groundbreaking research from Utah published earlier this month has overturned established theories of dinosaur posture and locomotion:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/paleontologists_weve_been

Unfortunately, certain questions remain unanswered:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/dinosaurs_sadly_extinct_before

Grr... I reformatted my PS3 last night... I think the onion called it

He has been working on it.

You could at least link directly to the onion instead of giving a linkjacker credit.

Good post, may I be so bold as to predict the response - Oh no, its making well reasoned arguments

I guess those congresscritters missed this recent, extremely detailed NASA announcement:

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/nasa_scientists_plan_to_approach

If this isn't clear vision, I don't know what is!

I don't even have a bike. I walk everywhere, smug with the knowledge that no carbon was released in order to build a vehicle. How do you like that, Smugmeister?

I'm surprised that nobody has mentioned this relevant publication:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39082

And please visit my home page.

Yeah, but if you actually remember the Sixties then you weren't there, man! Plus, you've got to figure that the double whammy of Alzheimer's and Senile Dementia is starting to creep up on Gen-X as well by now. All in all, I think it's quite understandable that they might have forgotten whether or not they even inhaled, let alone what the shit actually looked like, besides wasn't everything in trippy colours back then, I can't quite remember...

In fact, America's Finest News Source is reporting on this very story.

... someone has a case of the 2 A.M. Worm.

"How the hell did it get in here?"

And here I thought that this article was supposed to be a joke!

So, fear not. All is going to be well. http://www.theonion.com/content/video/nasa_scientists_plan_to_approach

Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Own A Television

Don't be that guy.

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/apple_introduces_revolutionary

Apple invests a lot of time and money in removing control elements to what an individual needs to make the device a fluid part of their lifestyle.

You're really deep inside that Reality Distortion Field. I think The Onion analysed the situation best with its prescient Macbook Wheel promo:
Apple Introduces Revolutionary Laptop WIth No Keyboard

Simplicity is good, yes, but so are buttons and control surfaces for complex multi-modal devices that can change state instantly and enable the user to proceed simultaneously along very different goal paths with divergent inputs. The pathetically modifier-overloaded Macintosh primary mouse button is a classic example of how Too Much Simplicity can become a very bad thing.

Everything should be made as simple as possible but not simpler - Albert Einstein

Glenn Beck?

When will you be ditching your TV?

Presumably there will be an opt out?

There already is:
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/google_opt_out_feature_lets_users

As noted in The Onion, real life is not a romantic comedy.

Just so you know, I made this joke almost two years ago:
http://hardware.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=465898&cid=22548916

They could have gone to 3 cores, like the competition. That seems like the logical thing to do, but they said "Fuck it, we're going to six". What part of this don't you understand? If two cores is good, and four cores is better, obviously six cores would make them the best fucking CPU that ever existed.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33930 [theonion.com]
/I'm just waiting for the day Intel says "this one goes to 11"

It's the CPU joke that will never die.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/new_study_reveals_most_children

As usual, The Onion nails it.

The Onion's already gone there and underscored that silliness is not the only thing which hardcore nerds and jocks have in common.

From America's Finest News source

I think NASA disqualified wood in their testing process and went straight to hay.

In 1911, Thomas Edison bragged that he could make a 40,000-page book by printing the pages on thin pieces of metal

Man, how many blades? That Gillette guy is gonna shit himself.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33930

F-ck 4 blades, we're doing 40,000 blades

From The Onion:

Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

"Members of the earth's earliest known civilization, the Sumerians, looked on in shock and confusion some 6,000 years ago as God, the Lord Almighty, created Heaven and Earth.
  YIR numbers web 5

According to recently excavated clay tablets inscribed with cuneiform script, thousands of Sumerians--the first humans to establish systems of writing, agriculture, and government--were working on their sophisticated irrigation systems when the Father of All Creation reached down from the ether and blew the divine spirit of life into their thriving civilization.

"I do not understand," reads an ancient line of pictographs depicting the sun, the moon, water, and a Sumerian who appears to be scratching his head. "A booming voice is saying, 'Let there be light,' but there is already light. It is saying, 'Let the earth bring forth grass,' but I am already standing on grass."

We all should know that preemptive use of Hilary Clinton is against everything we stand for. This is the worst thing since Hiroshima and Nagasaki. http://www.theonion.com/content/video/u_s_condemned_for_pre_emptive_use

Don't forget Hillary Clinton.

--
I for one welcome our megacorporate overlords.

Called "Google Opt Out":

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/google_opt_out_feature_lets_users

They've had an opt out option for a long time.

Are you thinking of this story on the Onion?

Well, they could have gone to GDDR4, but thought...

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/zombie_reagan_raised_from_grave ?

health-care and national security all in one! it's perfect.

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/in_the_know_is_the_government

Just add a wheel and you can cycle through the keys much faster and with greater precision.

Reminds me of that "Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard" story from The Onion. http://www.theonion.com/content/video/apple_introduces_revolutionary?utm_source=embedded_video

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/u_s_condemned_for_pre_emptive_use