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I don't think leading the troops is too much to ask. Afterall, How can you give an order that would cause people to die if your not willing and ready to be counted among the dead?

Bush bravely leads.

Oh, I wish more leaders could be so brave, moral, and non-idiotic.

His terms were incredibly unpopular? That would explain why he almost assuredly would have won this last election if he were allowed to run.

And should I point out a link someone posted yesterday from a news source that is 'supposed' to be funny but eerily true(actually it was probably quite predictable) and makes obvious reference to the Clinton years.

All part of Bush's War on Criticism

Y'know I really think there might be something to that. The whole set up *is* a lot like the Last Starfighter. And I think it's more than a coincidence. After all that movie is what inspired George W. Bush to enter politics. I see larger things at work here.

Surgeon General's Warning Viewing the following site may possible serious health risks, including breathing irregularity, stomach cramps, watery eyes, and loss of bladder control.

The Onionseems up to me....

'state of the onion' address is here

Boy, was this right on target or what?

Anyone else expecting a link to a cover story from The Onion?

Say you're at a fufu coffee place and you've downloaded what you wanted. You leave and the RIAA mp3 detector discovers pirated music on your hard drive. You can then be picked up by the massive RIAA Robocop and broken into fucking pieces as a deterrent to the other users.

OMFG this is the most awesome thing I have ever heard of. I WANT THIS LAW NOW.

http://www.theonion.com/onion3204/killerrobotpolic e.html

How come everytime I go to use the fucking shower, our house guest is in there?

Answer

No, not a hover chair. Hawk-man uses an exoskeleton

"Whoever modded this up is abusing their points. Whether you agree with him or not about Bush's politics, you can take your pick between (a) troll, or (b) offtopic."

Hopefully congress will fund moderator points to help Bush fight the War on Criticism. (Sure needed them in the current poll thread, didn't he.)

From the article:

Lovett also was the target of teasing. The classmates said he had been mocked for his bow-legged and stooped gait and his clothes.

My guess would be that over 75% of teenagers play or have played 'violent' video games at some point or another. I'm guessing but it feels more or less right. That's probably millions-- tens of millions-- of video game players in the US and across the developed world. Are they all potential killers? Of course not. To argue so would involve twisting statistics around in a 'war on drugs' fashion-- maintaining that marijuana is a 'gateway' drug, which simply isn't true. Very few users of marijuana go on to do harder drugs. But many that do harder drugs have smoked pot (and continue to do so), which is what alarmist conservative organizations, in a thorough betrayal of libertarian roots, emphasize in order to restrain civil liberties.

But there is simply not enough of a correlation to warrant limits on video games (a form of free speech IMHO anyway) even *if* in specific cases a causal argument *might* be made. The point is that you can't do sociology by anecdote only. By all rights, statistically, toasters are probably deadlier than video games anyway.

Given the utter lack of *any* systematic correlation between playing video games and engaging in violent, anti-social behaviour, perhaps we should look at other possible causes, Like the bullying and teasing which goes on in every schoolyard, every day, hmmm? I am convinced that the solace this kid found in video games was a result of being called a 'fag' constantly, of being beaten up for lacking social grace, for failure to heed the intricate, consumerist protocol of North American teenhood. Any 'obsession' with video games was a symptom and NOT the problem.

Bah, sheer sensationalism and a refusal to look at root causes-- of course this seems to be a recurrent theme these days.

Reminds me of that Onion article--Columbine Jocks Safely Resume Bullying. It's a sad indicator of the state of our civlization when we learn nothing from tragedy, but that's another topic entirely.

iopha

Well, according to 1st Edition D&D rules, every gold piece gained grants you a point of experience, so if he ever wants to make Level 34 he needs all the help he can get.

Jesus (-1 blasphemous), the poor guy just posts a link to a humourous (-1 non-American spelling) article relevant (-1 disagreeing) to the previous poster's comment and you guys mod him into oblivion.

Good to see the money is being well spent.

I could've sworn I read something similar to this in The onion once but I'm unable to find the story. Guess it came true.

I'm just surprised Hormel didn't start suing people ages ago for the negative uses of the word spam.

Actually, I love Linux because it's closer to Unix than BSD
A nit to pick, but neither is more "UNIX" than the other. If you think about it, one time BSD was UNIX, it's spiritually descended from the original UNIX. I think you feel more at home because it's closer to other commercial UNIXen, its more SVR4ish. One reason I like BSD more is it's more consistent; Linux took SVR4 bits and pieces and mixed them with BSD bits and pieces as Linus felt like and some that were neither. Even saying "Linux is more SVR4ish" is a bit of a minor misstatement, because a lot of what makes the feel is the userland, which changes from distro to distro. Last time I used Slackware (I'm dating myself I bet) it had a very BSDish init sequence, while others were SVR4ish, and RedHat was bastardized SVR4.

(when dealing with BSD meant spending most of your time on gratuitous incompatibilities like using "index()" for "strchr()")
Huhn? strchr is an ANSI C function. It's been in BSD since it was still distributed on tapes, before FreeBSD existed. And yes I know this is just an example, but in the Linux world, I have to worry about distros, and which version of which libs this guy has. At least if someone says "FreeBSD 4.8" I know exactly whats in his base system, not worry about which RPMs he has, which he's updated manually. Different kind of incompatibility.

And the parts of Linux I find most annoying are the most BSDish parts (like the behavior of ps).
Not sure what you mean here. ps on Linux has both SVR4 (UNIX as you say) or BSD behaviors depending on how you give the command line args. Even in the pseudo-BSD mode, it's very SVR4ish (doesn't collect all the data that a true BSD ps should be able to spit out).

I'm not trying to troll. I'm not even trying to convince you to try FreeBSD (or any BSD for that matter). Just pointing out that some of your ideas of why BSD or why Linux aren't as clear cut as you think. I think the great Linux vs. BSD wars are stupid and counterproductive. "Gee, my free and rock solid UNIX like OS with pretty good application support is so much better than YOUR Gee, my free and rock solid UNIX like OS with pretty good application support." Reminds me of a certain The Onion T-Shirt

Not only does /. sound like a parody of itself, but most of the people on here sound like Larry Groznic

Seriously, I'm sure everyone using Linux now has had some experience with Windows before. Many have probably had quite a bit of it. I mean, "Oh my God, a Windows-user actually looked at Linux"... Please.

Did this remind anyone else of the onion 'statshot' feature.

Top-ten reasons: Why are we on e-mail blacklists?

1 - Poor social skills cause instant dislike in anyone we communicate with

2 - Cursed by bequest of Nigerian Uncle's Viagra stockpile

3 - Was unaware that neighbours were advertising us as "live nerd-cam!"

4 - this is slashdot?????

5 - profit!

we may have to...consider...activating Task Force Crimson Bravo, although I'm sure I'm as loathe to do that as you are.

I think they are busy...

I guess Bill Gate'$ patents on 1s and 0s is invalid due to prior art. ;)

It sickens me to see the Federal government use federal funding as a club to make local libraries comply with Federal guidelines--and then have the gall to talk about 'community standards' in the same breath! And they do this *all the time*.

What if my 'community standards' involve protecting the bill of rights and upholding The Constitution? Why is the Federal government suddenly against that?

The colour mattered. 24 different colours.

So, they didn't use `1' and `0' then? 'Cause I was really hopeing to see some prior art so that this patent can be repealed.

Does this count as prior art? Somebody better tell microsoft...

Does this mean prior art for this Microsoft patent?

it means the Inca not only invented a form of binary code more than 500 years before the invention of the computer, but they used it as part of the only three-dimensional written language.

This is an obvious fraud! Everyone knows that Microsoft invented the binary system in 1975.

So that's prior art to their 1's and 0's patent then.

Don't whine so much, you people got the game delayed, what more do you want out of this?

You're confused. SCO is suing IBM, not Microsoft.

If you're just starting out, this anthology might be the place to start, but see this review first.

You need to buy a five-disc jazz anthology from the good folks at The Onion.

You need to buy a five-disc jazz anthology from the good folks at The Onion.

http://www.theonion.com/onion3123/hawkingexo.html

Thank you, Herbert Kornfeld.

You'll have plenty of time left over to keep yourself up to date on the latest trends in your line of work. Most importantly, you'll have plenty of time to live your own life and enrich yourself.

Why spend 10-30 years making the mortgage company rich and breaking your back keeping grass from doing what grass does just so you can have a termite-infested piece of crap when you're old (for some reason people make houses out of wood in this country). You're not going to take that house to the afterlife with you anyway. Live in an apt and call the landlord whenever something breaks. No lawns to mow, no siding to mend, etc.

As for kids, the return on investment on them is horrible. Plus they smell until they're about 17 and require constant care and feeding.

Follow my advice and you'll never feel old. Eliminating all that stress will keep you looking young to boot.

[I'm Like a Chocoholic, but for Booze]

Doesn't this remind you of this article?

Nah... He just changes his score sheet to be closer to it.

...Bill Gates is a D&D God!

This is going to be a lengthy but serious discussion of MMORPGs.

Usually, when I read these kinds of articles about game addicts, I always think, "if only we could use his powers for good!" If only we could make it so that people get more out of games than just fun. If only we could actually get something genuinely useful at the same time (so we don't end up with stories like this one from The Onion).

My canonical example is Crazy Taxi. In this game, you drive a taxi, taking people from place to place in a pseudo-San Francisco city. You get more points for driving recklessly, getting as close as you can to crashing things without actually crashing into them. What if...you could actually learn the streets of San Fran while playing this game? I hate driving there because I don't know what the streets are, because of all the one-way streets, because of all the cars and pedestrians. But what if you could actually learn the streets incidentally while playing the game? You would actually be learning something useful beyond the game console.

Now, analogously, what if we could get something useful out of MMORPGs, more than just entertainment and player-killing?

Here's a crazy idea: what if we could actually simulate real problems of society in MMORPGs and harness the power of players in solving those problems? For example, homelessness or pollution?

What if these MMORPGs were modelled such that they actually reflected real aspects of the world, creating an environment where we could actually experiment with different public policies, or even have the numerous players (who are clearly very intelligent people) try to figure out different solutions to these problems? Try out different ideas that may eventually influence what we actually do in the real world?

One example that's pushing in this direction is University of Washington's UrbanSim, where they try to predict what the impact of different public policy decisions will be on the environment. (They also run tests on old data to make sure their model matches the actual results).

I'm aware of how difficult this would be, all of the barriers in making convincing and realistic models, in making an appropriate reward system to incentivize people, in actually convincing academic scholars in sociology and public policy as well as policy makers that these ideas can be realistically and feasibly implemented with the expected results. (I'm in the Phd program in Computer Science at Berkeley, I have a pretty good idea of how difficult it would be).

But think about the potential here as well. A simulation with thousands of people interacting with one another, where we could try out radical new ideas in solving problems. Think of it as SimSociety. Think of it as a variation of Doug Engelbart's vision, where we need to get better at solving problems because the ones we're facing these days are far harder than anything we've ever seen before. Players could be doing more than just having fun. They could also be making a difference, for the better.

I remember listening to Rush Limbaugh (yea, so shoot me!) many years back, and he was saying how having a cigarette tax would open up the door to taxation of whatever the government thought was "evil." He did his usual over-extreme exaggeration and talked about a "twinkie" tax and a bunch of other utterly ridiculous taxes. I laughed at how stupid he was, and then one day -- McDonalds was sued for selling fatty foods -- New York proposed a tax on video games for making people fat -- and I became a believer.

But The Onion said it best here: Hershey's Ordered to Pay Obese Americans $135 Billion

Aritcle Here

REDMOND, WAâ"In what CEO Bill Gates called "an unfortunate but necessary step to protect our intellectual property from theft and exploitation by competitors," the Microsoft Corporation patented the numbers one and zero Monday.

Above: At a press conference beamed live to Microsoft shareholders around the globe, Bill Gates announces the company's patenting of the binary system.
With the patent, Microsoft's rivals are prohibited from manufacturing or selling products containing zeroes and onesâ"the mathematical building blocks of all computer languages and programsâ"unless a royalty fee of 10 cents per digit used is paid to the software giant.

"Microsoft has been using the binary system of ones and zeroes ever since its inception in 1975," Gates told reporters. "For years, in the interest of the overall health of the computer industry, we permitted the free and unfettered use of our proprietary numeric systems. However, changing marketplace conditions and the increasingly predatory practices of certain competitors now leave us with no choice but to seek compensation for the use of our numerals."

A number of major Silicon Valley players, including Apple Computer, Netscape and Sun Microsystems, said they will challenge the Microsoft patent as monopolistic and anti-competitive, claiming that the 10-cent-per-digit licensing fee would bankrupt them instantly.

"While, technically, Java is a complex system of algorithms used to create a platform-independent programming environment, it is, at its core, just a string of trillions of ones and zeroes," said Sun Microsystems CEO Scott McNealy, whose company created the Java programming environment used in many Internet applications. "The licensing fees we'd have to pay Microsoft every day would be approximately 327,000 times the total net worth of this company."

"If this patent holds up in federal court, Apple will have no choice but to convert to analog," said Apple interim CEO Steve Jobs, "and I have serious doubts whether this company would be able to remain competitive selling pedal-operated computers running software off vinyl LPs."

As a result of the Microsoft patent, many other companies have begun radically revising their product lines: Database manufacturer Oracle has embarked on a crash program to develop "an abacus for the next millennium." Novell, whose communications and networking systems are also subject to Microsoft licensing fees, is working with top animal trainers on a chimpanzee-based message-transmission system. Hewlett-Packard is developing a revolutionary new steam-powered printer.

Despite the swarm of protest, Gates is standing his ground, maintaining that ones and zeroes are the undisputed property of Microsoft.

Above: Gates explains the new patent to Apple Computer's board of directors.
"We will vigorously enforce our patents of these numbers, as they are legally ours," Gates said. "Among Microsoft's vast historical archives are Sanskrit cuneiform tablets from 1800 B.C. clearly showing ones and a symbol known as 'sunya,' or nothing. We also own: papyrus scrolls written by Pythagoras himself in which he explains the idea of singular notation, or 'one'; early tracts by Mohammed ibn Musa al Kwarizimi explaining the concept of al-sifr, or 'the cipher'; original mathematical manuscripts by Heisenberg, Einstein and Planck; and a signed first-edition copy of Jean-Paul Sartre's Being And Nothingness. Should the need arise, Microsoft will have no difficulty proving to the Justice Department or anyone else that we own the rights to these numbers."

Added Gates: "My salary also has lots of zeroes. I'm the richest man in the world."

According to experts, the full ramifications of Microsoft's patenting of one and zero have yet to be realized.

"Because all integers and natural numbers derive from one and zero, Microsoft may, by extension, lay claim to ownership of all mathemat

They've said the same about films.

Thank you, Larry Groznic.

I thought I was reading a one of those Area Man ... articles on The Onion when I read this paragraph:

"Early devices included the chicken vacuum, which sucked up birds and shot them through tubes to waiting trucks. But the birds tended to plug up the tubes and turn somersaults as they traveled inside the contraption. "We had too many die on us," recalls Buddy Burruss, vice president of operations at Tip Top Poultry Inc. of Marietta, Ga., which tested and quickly abandoned the pneumatic approach two decades ago."

I thought I was reading a one of those Area Man ... articles on The Onion when I read this paragraph:

"Early devices included the chicken vacuum, which sucked up birds and shot them through tubes to waiting trucks. But the birds tended to plug up the tubes and turn somersaults as they traveled inside the contraption. "We had too many die on us," recalls Buddy Burruss, vice president of operations at Tip Top Poultry Inc. of Marietta, Ga., which tested and quickly abandoned the pneumatic approach two decades ago."

this reminds me of an old onion article

Microsoft to Patent Ones, Zeroes

I feel the same way too.

In fact, I don't own a TV.

Area Man Constantly Mentioning That He Doesn't Own A TV