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9 steps to greasing your anus for Yoda Doll Insertion!
v 4.96.2
$YodaBSD: src/release/doc/en_US.ISO8859-1/yodanotes/9stepprocess.sgml,v 4.96.2 2015/8/31 09:44:20 tsarkon Exp $

1. Defecate. Preferably after eating senna, ex lax, prunes, cabbage, pickled eggs, and Vietnamese chili garlic sauce. To better enhance the pleasure of this whole process, defecation should be performed in the Return of the Jedi wastebasket for added pleasure.
2. Wipe ass with witch hazel, which soothes horrific burns. (Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda certifies that his lips, raw like beaten flank steak from nearly continuous analingus with dogs, are greatly soothed by witch hazel.)
3. Prime anus with anal ease. (Now Cherry Flavored for those butthole lick-o-phillic amongst you - very popular with 99% of the Slashdotting public!)
4. Slather richly a considerable amount of Vaseline and/or other anal lubricants into your rectum at least until the bend and also take your Yoda Doll , Yoda Shampoo bottle or Yoda soap-on-a-rope and liberally apply the lubricants to the Doll/Shampoo/Soap-on-a-rope.
5. Put a nigger do-rag on Yoda's head so the ears don't stick out like daggers!
6. Make sure to have a mechanism by which to fish Yoda out of your rectum, the soap on the rope is especially useful because the retrieval mechanism is built in.
7. Pucker and relax your balloon knot several times actuating the sphincter muscle in order to prepare for what is to come.
8. Slowly rest yourself onto your Yoda figurine. Be careful, he's probably bigger than the dicks normally being shoved up your ass!
9. Gyrate gleefully in your computer chair while your fat sexless geek nerd loser fat shit self enjoys the prostate massage you'll be getting. Think about snoodling with the Sarlaac pit. Read Slashdot. Masturbate to anime. Email one of the editors hoping they will honor you with a reply. Join several more dating services - this time, you don't select the (desired - speaks English) and (desired - literate). You figure you might get a chance then. Order some fucking crap from Think Geek. Suck and gag on a Dr. Who sonic screwdriver. Get Linux to boot on a Black and Decker Toaster Oven. Wish you could afford a new computer. Argue that cheap-ass discount bin hardware works 'just as well' as the quality and premium hardware because you can't afford the real stuff. Make claims about how Linux rules. Compile a kernel on your 486SX. Claim to hate Windows but use it for World of Warcraft. Admire Ghyslain's courage in making that wonderful Star Wars movie. Officially convert to the Jedi religion. Talk about how cool Mega Tokyo is. Try and make sure you do your regular 50 story submissions to Slashdot, all of which get rejected because people who aren't fatter than CowboyNeal can't submit. Fondle shrimpy penis while making a Yoda voice and saying, use the force, padawan, feeel the foooorce, hurgm. Yes. Yes.

THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!

http://www.urbandictionary.com...

You see, there are more than ONE problem at a time. AGW is by far THE most severe and just because you can't comprehend it doesn't make it go away. Plastic in the oceans is another, completely tangential problem. Then there is overfishing and basically almost complete fishery collapses across almost all fished fish stocks, which is another problem. Then there is acid rain problem and ozone problem, one local and one global, both mostly fixed these days because of action by dedicated people to stop UV index 60 from being reality. Then you have your noise pollution and light pollution. I could go on and on and on.

Anyway, you do realize that plastics in ocean is a global problem, not a problem of "our own government"? Plastic in pacific ocean ends up there from China, from Vietnam, from Australia, from Germany, from Nigeria, from Brazil, etc. etc. etc. it's not going to be solved by US or by China alone.

I predict a lot of whackers driving around in retired cop cars with fake badges and radios, with lightbars on top that are barely legal since they have no red or blue bulbs, with "Umbrella Corporation" painted on where "To Serve and Protect" would normally go, and with "REACT TEAM" and some sketchy homage to an official seal painted on the doors...

Work 80 hour weeks bleeding for a company, watch them give a $20k bonus to the asshole who shows up late and leave early, then just fucking shut up.

So does unpaid overtime get any better if your boss and/or the shareholders get to reap the benefits instead? That kinda backs my point, you know.

The only reason you don't have a problem with this is because you're the under-working, overpaid shitbag leeching off of others.

No, just smart enough to realize that if I succumb to divide and conquer tactics, I'll be working those 80-hour weeks too soon enough. Unionize, accept that this means that even the asshole who shows up late and leaves early benefits, and enjoy your new 40-hour workweeks.

As a side note, I can't help but notice that even propaganda no longer tries to argue I'm better off with capitalism, but focuses on negging and attempts to play people against each other. It has a taste of desperation in it, almost like even those spouting it no longer really believe their own message but simply go along due to force of habit.

Yes, that's an artifact of the fact that the tech industry feels that it can fail to provide workers with a future.

In no small part because we have politicians obsessed with the bottom line of corporations, as if a profitable corporation which is taking huge chunks out of the economy is somehow good for the rest of the economy. The reality is, it isn't.

It's short sighted thinking that somehow equates corporate profits with national prosperity, when in fact it's transferring wages to the bottom line of corporations.

This bullshit line that shareholder value drives the economy instead of the people who actually work in the economy is slowly killing us. It maximizes the return for rich people and ignores how that 'value' gets generated.

'Shareholder value' has become the altar on which jobs are sacrificed. And except for the rich people who own the stocks, this doesn't help the country or the economy in the long run. Essentially it's a wealth transfer upwards at the expense of everybody else, and shareholder value is just people skimming off the top without actually contributing to any part of the economy -- except that of the banking industry and the wealthy.

Globalization is a lie in which corporations suck up all the money and leave us with neither money nor jobs, and politicians lie to us and tell us this is the road to prosperity.

BOHICA

Now there's a phrase I've not heard in a while, but absolutely yes.

As long as we keep believing these lies, again and again seems to be what we'll be getting.

Freudian slips aside, my point is that if you are already willing to buy a Tesla, you probably want a big metal dick, I mean snake, I mean charger.

Brings new meaning to the term "penis extension."

Unless you get pregnant while on maternity leave, see Irish Twins

Waaaaaaahhhhhh, it's not fair people are always making fun of americans (not all Americans of course not those North and South of the particularly cranking bit in the top middle half), their ignorance, spelling and their feets and inches, also their politicians, so many ass clowns on parade. Have you not never consider it is fun to make fun of American Exceptionlism, the ego, it's just so ripe for pricking. From my perspective it is more, bwah hah hah, then Waaaaahhh, obviously you look upon life through more of a Waaahhhh perspective, you should consider that not everyone does and American Exceptionlism is particularly USAians or http://www.urbandictionary.com... (note I did not right that definition)

And I want a toilet seat made out of gold

Really? So try this one.

A stand alone complex is not a conspiracy.
http://www.urbandictionary.com...

If you read what I wrote, you will notice I am in favor of nuanced discussion, not against it.

When I read what you wrote I noticed the intellectually dishonest tactic that in more simpler terms is known as "just sayin."

I haven't bricked one of my own machines since Windows 95. Are you sure it's not a DFO error? The fact you're using Linux would indicates you probably don't know much about Windows.

The word you keep using ought to be "losing," and you ought to also forget this "loosing" concept. Immediately.

*lart*

The CTO of Fight for the Future — the non-profit activism group

A registered non-profit?? Not that it (transparency) matters - a good cause is sufficient, and the more groups targeting that cause the easier the battle.

behind Battle for the Net, Blackout Congress, and Stop Fast Track — Jeff Lyon

That'd be the Chief Technologist - FIGJAM self-certified Jeffery S. Lyon

The site been blacklisted by Twitter, Facebook, and major email providers as malicious/spam.

Bullshit Not blacklisted . A dig through the history shows that some of the email accounts have been blacklisted in the past - for spamming. No conspiracy, just piss poor security, hunger for publicity, bad manners, and general IT ignorance. (e.g. complain about Ffffacebook and Google but overlook what Yahoo does with non-SPF signed email)

Over the last week, nobody has been able to post the website on social networks, or send any emails with their URL.

Bullshit All posts of links to the site published in the past week

Thanks Jeff. For nothing. Failure to check your facts doesn't help the campaign - the proponents of TPP don't have to block you - your incompetence and dishonesty does the job for them. Not that I'm accusing you of diluting the EFF campaign, or cashing in on it...

The Americans are lacking the lack of skills, and thus aren't "trainable". We need more trainables in the American workforce. Or more pessimistically, the Americans are lacking the skill of needing the Visa to stay in the country, and thus aren't "controllable".

The sad thing is that most H1B folks I've seen are trainable. If they were actually good at something, they could make a killing in their countries of origin.

SJW: had to look it up myself.

This technique is practiced by all public servants and it is called "Tosspottery".

all? really? (How would you even be able to pick up such a brush?)

Well as a practicing tosspot myself I have to maintain my tosspottery skills if I ever need them for the public service.

Actually its my mistake, I meant to edit "all" out of that sentence. Thanks for pointing that out, it seems right that 2/3 of the public service are covering their asses from the practicing tosspots.

This technique is practiced by all public servants and it is called "Tosspottery".

all? really? (How would you even be able to pick up such a brush?)

Sticking your neck out to report a breach won't win you any friends, doesn't gain you anything, and if it get someone who's politically savvy in trouble it could blow back on you. Safer and easier to keep quiet and keep your job.

This technique is practiced by all public servants and it is called "Tosspottery".

There were no 'terrorists' in Iraq until the US overthrew Saddam Hussein in the second Iraqi war. Saddam Hussein being a one time hitman and CIA agent who, under US instruction, wiped out the leaders of the Ba'ath Party and installed himself dictator. Was Americans best buddy in the middle east until he went broke invading Iran and invaded Kuwait in retaliation. Anything else you read is retrospective self serving neocon revisionism.

It's funny how you all use "MRA" the same way Smurfs use their own name. It's practically a generic non-word at this point applying to anything and everything you don't like.

Nah, it has a pretty specific meaning.

http://www.urbandictionary.com...

It's never the tool, but the wielder.

This is bullshit. Tools can be poorly made.

Which is true. But here we are talking about tools, concepts and processes that are known to produce good results when used intelligently (or that should be known by anyone worth his/her salt in this industry.)

The context should have been apparent, but I guess we needed to go Barney Style with it.

What about in salad dressing?

                      http://www.urbandictionary.com...

Hiring [Obama's campaign manager] was a smart move for Uber. The man knows, how to improve pubic perception of anything. Not that I disapprove of his current employer, but to sell the country the shit-sandwich we have in the White House today -- that's a sign of a true master.

Sigh... Haters gonna hate...

Instead of repeating that same, tired meme, why don't you use your big boy words and put together a real response? I've exposed you as a hypocrite and either an idiot or a troll. Are you too stupid to defend yourself?

As I explained to you previously, the vernacular "hater" implies jealousy, which does not apply here, so you are misusing the word.

So what do you actually mean? Because, looking at your "shit sandwich" quote above, it seems like you are the hater, by your own misuse of the word.

Think about 55 lbs, a large part battery, falling 500' on you.

I'm thinking blue ice.

A neat web site that you should make a note of is Wikipedia. It's sort of like an encyclopedia. Check it out.

Uranus is named after a Greek god. Whether this exception to the rule has anything to do with this definition eludes me.

what is an MRA?

http://www.urbandictionary.com...

It also doesn't mean anything. I've seen SJWs blames in the comments on almost everything including quite diametrically opposite things.

I've heard the same thing about rape, rape has been used to explain things like farts, sitting, listening to music, I guess that means 'rape' has no particular meaning any more when the follow the same logic.

So, I'd like to challenge anyone actually using the phrase to actually define what it means in a way that isn't a catch-all of "crap I hate on the internet".

I think Urban Dictionary has already a good definition.

http://www.urbandictionary.com...

Is the production process automated, or is it a hand job?.

Or you missed an entirely appropriate star trek reference of the same topic, good grace.

http://www.urbandictionary.com...

For that to actually work, they'd have to shadow-ban trolls. Otherwise the trolls will just create yet another account. Can also be done with anonymous trolls based on combo of content and ip.

But I'll answer your question anyway since your level of mental understanding is so low. Smoking does cause harm, it has been proven. I can't seem to relay this concept to you in a way that you understand so I chose to skip it before.

It has never been proven "in a lab" that it does (in humans). So you hold one standard for smoking, and a different higher standard for evolution. Why? That's the question that I've been asking. I don't care about the smoking one, and haven't asked you the question you answered. Why do you hold one to a different standard?

This is something that every manager should be aware of: subordinates promotions, salary increases, job functions, etc. So now an important function of management is being replaced by a small shell script.

This will be the basis of my algorithm for timing a divestiture from a corportion. When the boss' function can be replaced by a laptop.

On Wall Street? Of course they're taking a bump.

Wait, we are talking about cocaine, right?

http://www.urbandictionary.com...

http://www.urbandictionary.com...

https://encyclopediadramatica....

Your attempt to re-define SJW has failed.

All the rest of us are aggressively putting the D in YOMAMA

Somehow I always get these two mixed up.

http://www.urbandictionary.com...

I was not the first to use it (see: http://www.urbandictionary.com... ), nor will I be the last. Enjoy!

Interesting use of TypeScript, an entire rougelike

Really?

1. A postmodern fantasy where a modern feminist can face off against the suffocatingly chauvinist entities of make-up.
2. A misspelling of roguelike.

Even Sarah Palin knew the difference between Rogue and Rouge :-(

Me neither, the repeated references to yaking had me really confused. Then again maybe I understood the meaning perfectly...

Mea culpa, I should know better than to rely on Slashdot for my facts--in this case, that 1oz of hard liquor is a "drink." I should've consulted an authoritative source like urbandictionary, which tells me one drink is actually equal to casual sex.

Could I still try to argue that my 1 glass was closer than 8? Well, yeah, but a) that would be pretty obtuse, and b) drinking any positive integer number of 8oz glasses of vodka is inadvisable in any case.

You know, this was all much simpler when you just went to your dad's sock drawer to access his stash of Penthouse.

Or a friend found some and kept it buried in the woods.

Nobody got hurt, nobody lost an eye ... and you certainly didn't start off your budding adolescence thinking a rusty trombone or fisting would be what you and your first girlfriend tried out.

The stuff kids see nowadays ... some of that stuff is pretty messed up.

So bring back old fashioned parenting ... take away the computer, and leave a stack of Playboy laying around.

And you really can't see any difference between a light snicker at a Japanese called Fok Yoo and the facepalm of Honda introducing the new Honda Fokyoo for sale in the US? Another reason nerds won't be taking over the world, I guess...

I'm not familiar with a Fokyoo from Honda, but Honda Jazz used to be called Honda Fitta, they changed name when they found out that it means "cunt" in Swedish. Also a bit silly since it only led to a light snicker anyway.

Mitsubishi Pajero anyone? (wash your hands)

What's the difference between a wanker and a Pajero driver?

About 1 tonne.

Sure, I can't even think about getting off the couch to go to bed when I get stoned

Nobody else can, either; that's the point. If they can think about getting off the couch, they're not stoned. High, maybe. Not stoned.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=jungle+bunny

He is soo good, even dummy mode went on...

A Masshole's antisocial behavior is triggered by specific conditions—driving, queues, and Yankees fans (to name a few). When not in a Massholic situation, they're generally very kind and courteous individuals.

Definition of Masshole, focusing particularly on the driving aspect.

brick
As verb: to brick something. This is the action of rendering any small-medium size electronic device useless. This can happen whilst changing the firmware, soldering or any other process involving either hardware of software.

I bricked my mobile phone when I tried to install Linux on it.

Haha! "When I tried to install Linux on it". Sounds funny reading that thread...