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It's not "god", it's the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The Flying Spaghetti Monster started this cycle a very long time ago by aimply killing a few pirates. Immediately the earth started warming, following the well documented relationship between pirates and the earth's surface temperature. This has over the years spiraled out of control because every time a pirate dies, the temperature goes up, causing more hurricanes, which kill more pirates, which causes the earth's temperature to go up, and so on.

The "scientists" need to stop wasting their time trying to stop carbon emissions, and they need to spend it helping undo our pirate shortage. This is a problem that I've worked on for quite some time (almost 5 minutes now), and I think the answer is quite simple. We need to take all of the members of the current administration (and their friends) and set them adrift on pirate ships in the middle of the ocean (preferably without sails or oars). They would make great pirates, they are already adept at raping (metaphorically) and pillaging (literally). This would help us correct the delicate balance of nature and would save an innumerable number of lives.

Please, help spread the word, before it's too late.

-> Fritz

Funny, I thought of proper robes for teaching the gospel of the flying spaghetti monster (http://www.venganza.org/)...

Again we are faced with the age old "What came first, the chicken or the egg..." debate. Let us please not forget about the Flying Spaghetti Monster FSM for it was by his noodly appendage that all things were and are created...

n light of my open-mindedness and thirst for scientific possibilities, I would like the religious right to accept the possibility that, instead of some omnicient being intelligently constructing the universe, it might have been a giant 3 headed alien working on his or her 3rd grade science project.

Sounds like a potential convert to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster!"

As everyone knows, the only solution to Global Warming is getting more pirates. Explanation here.

Not to mention your dry lake beds.

None shall be spared, except maybe those who follow The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

P.S.: Please don't lick us. We're not psychoactive, just poisonous. And watching you ugly humans writhe on the ground in pain really puts a damper on our day.

...and his noodleness the creator!

That's the price of being omnipotent, you know -- if it's in your power to fix anything with a wave of your hand, then of course people are going to blame you when things don't get fixed. If God can't handle the criticism, then perhaps he'd better get off his ass and pitch in more often. This whole "I love you all but I'm going to sit on my hands and watch you suffer and die because I think it builds character" schtick is a weak cop-out and frankly we should expect better from someone who styles themself as an All-Powerful Benevolent Diety. But I'm personally not worried -- if God can't deliver the goods, then maybe the competition will.

Sure, the Flying Spagetti Monster is pretty much an athiest symbol, leaning more to darwinism as a "belief". Prior to that, the Darwin Fish has been around for a while.

I'm all for the creation of an athiest "religion". More of a collection of people who are fed up of religious nutjobs fighting for their own place in heaven on a global stage. I reckon there are more of us than them and it's about time to tell them we've had enough of their bullshit dogma.

I counter your claims and graph with this graph which clearly shows the cause of global warming is the lack of pirates in modern times.

Quite interesting to apply this to Creationism:

Start: -5
Saying an existing theory is "only a theory": +10
Stating that the "scientific establishment" is involved in a "conspiracy" to prevent the work receiving the recognition it deserves: +40
Claiming a revolutionary theory but giving no concrete, testable predictions: +50 (though in all fairness, not much in the way of evolution can be tested in any concrete form either).

However, Pastafarianism http://www.venganza.org/ only falls foul of 'saying an existing theory is "only a theory"'.

It therefore follows that the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is rather less crackpot than parts of the Christian church.

Correction.

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster begs to differ...

(Smirking) I wonder why that is. First of all, you assume here that US forces are "provoking" attacks. The term is loaded, and I doubt you used it by accident.

Second, US service men are their in Iraq under threat of imprisonment. Stop acting like we marched in with a gang of Viking raiders to rape and pillage, it's not accurate, and it's childish.

Perhaps if you allowed yourself a moment to view the world without your overwhelmingly corrupting bias, you'd realize that MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, the terrorists are power hungry despots looking for an opportunity to gain the upper hand in a rapidly developing country.

In 2000, there were only 17 pirates left.
Now we are in negative figures just watch as global average temperature become uncontrollable.

Repent your sins.
The end of the world is nigh.

http://www.venganza.org/

Clearly, the intelligent designers of this 3D microscope have been touched by His Noodly Appendage.

Sources report Google is starting it's own religion that will effectively replace all of the other religions in the world.

Ah, then this will be there downfall, for they shalt be struck down by the Noodly Appendage of his most holy, the FSM!

Just goes to show that the bigger you get the harder you fall. They should have stuck to secular projects.

Is anyone else concerned with the effect this could have on global warming?

"Strings" are just another way of describing devine, Noodly Appendages.

Actually, this is really cool. Looking forward to what the use of the new detector shows, or doesn't, as the case may be. String theory is such a mind bender for most people (including me), that anything making it more directly tangible will really help focus the conversation. Or end it. Either way is good.

I understand that some people would like to see more than one 'theory' taught (the old 'teach the controversy' BS), but displaying the results in this manner is misleading in the extreme.

At least SOMEBODY made this point. I truly wonder what would happen if we stopped our greenhouse gas emissions entirely (not going to happen, but I'm playing with hypotheticals) and things still kept getting warmer? Well, then they'll blame the decrease in pirates, of course.

I get the point! We should have more pirates! Or even better, more people should read Michael Crichton's aliens cause global warming and discover the difference between correlation, consensus and actual science.

No one is saying the climate is not changing, criticism of the global warming theory raises uncertainty about the actual cause. Until that uncertainty has been eliminated, I'd rather invest in science and protection against rising sea levels and extreme weather (such as the Dutch Delta works) than investments in cleaner fossil fuels (Kyoto) which will only cause fossil fuels to be used for a longer time because industries won't reach their ROI for another few decades.

I can't wait for all this 'scientists' to stop trying to explain the unexplainable and embrace the truth

Global Warming is not fact. Correlation does not imply causality. The fact is that there is insufficient data to draw any type of meaningful conclusion about long-term trends in temperature or climate. Besides, even if Global Warming is in fact occurring, it's as likely to be cause by the decline in piracy on the high seas as anything else.

I think you know..

Even better than proof of intelligent design would be an actual fingerprint from the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

What a bunch of FUD.

"The web sites that create content are now simply fodder for the Xs' revenue stream."

Replace "X" with just about any internet related technology. How many fewer computers would Dell sell if it wasn't for the internet and how does that affect content providers? Where is the statistically significant correlation? Sort of like comparing the inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.

Look, you're either part of the problem or you are part of the solution. Become a pirate or shut up about it already.

If teaching Intelligent Design is ever debated by my local school board, I will propose they teach it along with Gaia Theory and Flying Spaghetti Monsterism http://www.venganza.org/

In one scenario, the galaxies may have fallen towards Andromeda along an invisible filament of dark matter.

In another scenario, the Flying Spaghetti Monster might have used His Noodly Appendage to intelligently design it that way. Scientists speculate the arrangement makes it easier for Him to make a bank shot on the 9-ball galaxy.

Love in action right there, folks. You will spend hours laughing.

Um, it's obviously spaghetti sauce bestowed upon us by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, spread into a fine paste by the vastness of space, and given motion by His Noodly Appendage.

Of course, there is only one true answer:
The Flying Spaghetti Monster caused it to work this way.

http://www.venganza.org/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Mons ter/

If he was serious about saving the world, he'd be investing in Pirates! http://venganza.org/

For a second there I thought you were talking about the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Our Lord, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, must be pleased with the creation of the Pirate Party. We must join and form Pirate Parties all around the world, and stop global warming!

By the way, at first glance I thought this is about a party, with drinks, music and stuff. This, of course, would also please Our Lord, the great Flying Spaghetti Monster. May his noodly appendage touch everyone.

More pirates means less global warming

His Noodly Appendage gets everywhere.

What else have these same scientists theorized that may not be true?

What really happened is that our Intelligent Designer decided to create a new superweed....

"Why doesn't the slashdot community glom onto Yoism, the first Open Source Religion [wikipedia.org]?"

I think it's because most of /. has found the one "true" church..

Chruch of the Flying Spaghetti Monster http://www.venganza.org/

The "Young earth hypothesis" is orthagonal to Intelligent Design. Not all proponents of one support the other. Most "Young earthers" are creationists but not all of them would back the exact tenents or even pseudologic of Intelligent Design. Many of them are more hard-core creationists who would see any attempt to gussy an act of "literal word" with any support however well intentioned as worthless or downright heretical. To some people the word is the word and it needs no support. Attempting to giove it an outside validation or a patina of science is as great a crime as disagreeing with it.

Similar some Intelligent Design proponents are willing to grant a much longer age for the earth. They just refuse to believe that we humans (at least) came about in any way except by the intervention of some higher power (remember it could be an alien!) which in turn makes us "special".

This is really the handle of both the old-earth creationists and the Intelligent Design people. They are perfectly willing to accept science until science brings up something they don't like then it must be stopped. It's kind of like being open to all religions until someone professes their faith, or accepting homosexuals so long as you never meet any.

Relevant link needed.

So clearly the amoebae had to be touched by His Noodly Appendage. That's what you're saying, right?

if you are so sure ID is incorrect, where is the fear coming from that it cannot even be mentioned and discussed by rational thinking people.

I am disgusted that some activist judge such as this one has chosen to abolish faith for American schoolchildren. Yet I am even more disgusted that the Dover school board would not consider teaching my alternative to evolution, FSMism, which I hold to be an equally valid, competing hypothesis.

I'm all for it. As long as they teach my religion as well. And by the way, although my religion is new to me, it has existed in since the beginning of time. It was created "new" only recently.

It also answers some of the more fundamental physics questions better than the bible.

I'm all for it. As long as they teach my religion as well. And by the way, although my religion is new to me, it has existed in since the beginning of time. It was created "new" only recently.

It also answers some of the more fundamental physics questions better than the bible.

As per your comments (please refer to this link as reference http://www.venganza.org/,

Prove to me there is no Flying Spaghetti Monster. Prove to me that everything science measures and describes was not created by the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Prove to me that your god was not created by the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

If ID was taught in Biology classes, also Pastafarianism would have to be taught.

• Flying Spaghetti Monsterism
  
• The Church of last Thursdayism of Queen Maeve
  
• Discordianism
  
• The Church Of The Subgenius
  
• etc...