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Holy convergance of idealologies Batman!

We all know Al Gore is all about Global Warming (See Here), and we also know there is a direct link between the number of pirates and the average temperature of the earth! (See Here)

This cannot be an accident - it's fate!

DG

There is no such thing as evolution. Flying Spaghetti Monster is the sole being responsible for making the earth and the universe as it is. It is He who put the fossils there so evolutionists would be fooled and the public's faith would be tested. If you believe, then, upon the day of Reckoning, when fiery meatballs fall from the sky and water tastes like marinara sauce, you will be saved.

Scientists agree! Join the Church of the http://www.venganza.org/Flying Spaghetti Monster!

You should address your good wishes to Melinda. Gates did very little beneficial before he met her, and ever since they married, he's started spending more and more on philantropy. To me that's exactly the sign of a man under the soft but efficient control of his wife slowly turning him around to what she wants.

"You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature." (Source)

Correlation does not imply causation. Denigrating his generosity on account of when he was generous is just plain rude.

Others claim that global warming is a "direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s."

Other startling trends

Another one that show correlation doesn't prove causation is that we need more pirates to stop global warming. From FSM.
From that graph you can see DRM is causing global warming.

Sigh, I'll bite as well...

I bow to the great Flying Spaghetti Monster! For without his grace life would be impossible. Oh yeah, the lack of pirates is responsible for global warming!

Looks like the mods don't get the reference...

And check out this yearly graph too.

Please get the Pirate Bay back up, 'cause less pirates means higher global temperatures

I am not sure that there is an actual correlation between decreasing scientific ability and the unquestioning surrender of civil rights, but since both are occuring simultaneously in the USA, well, perhaps this needs to be studied.

Although I would dispute that the surrender of civil rights has been "unquestioning" (there are lots of people who oppose the Patriot Act and stuff like the NSA surveillance program), I find both problems worrying.

That said, to connect them is completely ludicrous. The restrictions on civil liberties are a part of the government's attempt to prevent further terrorism following 9/11. The reasons for problems in American science education are not as clear, but they might have more to do with things like teachers not being paid very well, lack of emphasis of science (or academics for that matter) inside schools, and lack of accountability for performance. The problems in American education go back much further than the 9/11. The relationship between these two issues is about as strong as that between pirates and global warming.

I also dispute that we "must decide between having an intelligent, capable population, and a population that is easily lead." There are plenty of examples of very controlled populations that were extremely intelligent. Lots of very good scientists worked to develop technology like the first jet fighter and the V2 rocket in Nazi Germany; they were so good that we got many of them to work on our own space projects. Soviet scientists were also top-notch, good enough that they beat us to putting a satellite and a human in orbit.

But even environments that are just strict, though not oppressive like my previous examples, have often proven to be conducive to education. The few poor, inner city schools that succeed typically have students wear uniforms and emphasize respect for the school and teachers over the student's individuality and expression.

I personally don't enjoy such environments, and I'm not arguing that we should be giving up civil liberties. I'm just saying that being more free doesn't mean you know more science.

They are basing their argument on a flawed assumption. They assume that the first chicken would have had to come from an egg because its genetic material says that it grows from an egg. It is entirely possible that the first chicken was born of a non-egg and of course without changing its genetic makeup, laid the first egg. There are examples of animals with multiple reproductive paths to the same result. Think of hydras, jellyfish, yeasts, fungi, aphids, slime molds and sea anemones to name a few.

I still believe that the first chicken was actually born of the very last chicken egg in existence, transported back in time by his noodly appendage.

So, what does a mobius chicken taste like?

"People forget that the US had close to 100,000 men stationed in various European countries. Now that the US is slowly moving these men out, the tensions have stated to rise again. Just look at all of the recent riots. Just look at how France and Germany have once again run roughshod over the whole European Union."

Yes, and global warming is due to a decrease in pirates.

Have you ever seen a PERFECTLY spheroidal meatball?

I didn't think so.

Heretic!

"After months of confronting whalers and pirates..."

What? They're killing pirates now?! But lack of pirates is causing "Global WarmingTM".

Damn hippies, you'll kill us all! I'll see you in pasta hell.

"After months of confronting whalers and pirates..."

What? They're killing pirates now?! But lack of pirates is causing "Global WarmingTM".

Damn hippies, you'll kill us all! I'll see you in pasta hell.

Yes! Preach on, brother! And in response to global warming, it's those darned pirates! Here's a graph that proves it.

I bet I get modded down for this, too, because these liberally biased slashdotters can't handle the truth!

Did anyone else read this summary and think "The FSM be praised!"?

http://www.venganza.org/

No, it was the Flying Spaghetti Monstor, silly!

Any theories on how is this going to affect global warming?

As you should know from the holy book we should work hard to increase the number of pirates so his holy spaghettiness will turn down the temperature.

-Grey

So here's an idea - For now we'll call it philosophy, theology, Spaghetti Monsterism, anything but SCIENCE - and we'll keep it off of /.!

Not to mention that it was he who put the fossils there 6000 years ago in order to test our faith in him...

gratuitious wikipedia link

Now the real question is, who put those fossils there?

Well, that's obvious.

Ramen.

Well, that's easy. Didn't Napster come out somewhere around 1998? More pirates, less global warming. Duh!

Please Mr. Rhetoric, explain to me the cause for the global warming currently transpiring on Mars.

That's obviously caused by the decrease in Ice Pirates on Mars, as any good Pastafarian can show you.

Remember, it's not a face, it's a mountain that has irregular shapes that resemble a face at certain angles.

And why is it that Intelligent Design isn't tought in schools? It's a big conspiracy, I tell ya. Look at the eye, man! We're talking like scientist, so we should be accepted like scientists, right?

Because they'd have to give equal time to Pastafarianism, the concept that the Flying Spaghetti Monster made us as a joke, not in His image, since His Noodlynous is both invisible and resembles a large flying plate of spaghetti with meatballs.

Remember, the reason for Global Warming is our severe lack of Pirates.

it's like pretending that the Flying Spaghetti Monster, instead of being the all-powerful invisible being he is, created man in his own image.

I mean think about it, we don't even look like a plate of spaghetti, our heads don't look like meatballs, obviously we weren't created in His image.

And just as obviously, Global Warming is all a result of the severe lack of Pirates today.

Now, wake up and smell the lack of Pirates. Get crackin, matey!

Police, who discriminate against smart people, should be implicitly expected to have done a proper study on exactly what the causation of laptop theft actually is. They should be at least as credible as people looking for the effects of prayer on patients' recoveries. Google would never claim those folks were wrong. You can't forget our friend at http://www.venganza.org/ who points out that pirates cause global warming, either. It's awfully easy to get something wrong when you're trying to pinpoint a cause for some effect any my money is on there being more laptops, not wi-fi attracting thieves like moths to a larcenous flame. Of course, McDonald's is a more likely burglary target than a 7-11, so I may actually be wrong. Darn you, Nintendo. Next they'll be encouraging children not to go into piracy for a living, leading to a precipitous change in global temperature.

Viva the Midget!

Viva Pirates!

http://www.venganza.org/

FSMism is the one true belief! Of course he can't prove evolution is correct, any Pastafarian knows how the world (and midgets) truely came to be.

http://www.venganza.org/

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is reportedly extremely pleased by your post. You're a shoo-in to find the Beer Volcano in the afterlife.

After all these years of humans cranking out 90+ db sounds, and setting our volume to 11, maybe they decided not to worry so much about that bit, and concentrate on just replacing us.

Their cunning plot to remove the world's pirate fish and create global warming is working really well, don't you think?

a whole /. discussion on global warming and no mention of the inverse proportion of global warming versus the population of pirates? RAmen! http://www.venganza.org/

http://www.venganza.org/piratesarecool4.jpg His noodly apendage!

This is what he was referring to. Specifically, this chart.

This is what he was referring to. Specifically, this chart.

Maybe they were praying to the wrong god?

Probably, but I'm sure the FSM will forgive them.

-jcr

Perhaps if they get elected, we can finally curb the global warming trend.

Oh I pray this party has been touched by his great noodly appendage!

Clearly they are trying to reverse global warming. According to Flying Spaghetti Monsterism there is a direct relationship with the declining number of pirates and an increase in global warming. There has been a precipitous decline in the Norwegian (and Swedish) Blue Parrot. The Swedish Blue differes from the Norwegian in that in addition to it's bright blue feathers it has a streak of bright yellow feathers. They often lay about in their cages pining for the fjords. Where would any self-respecting pirate would be without his parrot?

On another note the Church of the FSM in Sweden has recently beatified the Swedish Chef for his work on meatballs.

Clearly they are trying to reverse global warming. According to Flying Spaghetti Monsterism there is a direct relationship with the declining number of pirates and an increase in global warming. There has been a precipitous decline in the Norwegian (and Swedish) Blue Parrot. The Swedish Blue differes from the Norwegian in that in addition to it's bright blue feathers it has a streak of bright yellow feathers. They often lay about in their cages pining for the fjords. Where would any self-respecting pirate would be without his parrot?

On another note the Church of the FSM in Sweden has recently beatified the Swedish Chef for his work on meatballs.

Don't forget the other benefits of having more pirates around, such as a reduction in global warming

This is a great day! The FSM will be proud to see that with the growing nuumber of Pirates in the world the Earth's temperature will begin to reverse it's present course!

http://www.venganza.org/

RAmen

Because, as trhe gospels tell us, the more pirates there are in the world, the cooler the average global temperature.

May you be Touched by His Noodly Appendage...

By increasing the number of pirates they are contributing to reduce the global warming. I can't understand why those Brazilian green peace hippies are mad at them.

So what? The Church of the Flying Spagetti Monster tells me we were all created by his noodly appendage. The only thing the bible has over http://www.venganza.org/ is that it's been around a bit longer. Length of tradition of course proves nothing. Hinduism has been around considerably longer than Judaism yet you are choosing to believe the newcomer.

Science, and evolution, rest on proof in the fossil and genetic records. The bible has no such proof behind it and so for the purposes of this discussion should be thrown on the junk heap along with all other 'sacred' texts.

Oh, no! Germany is dooming us to an even higher rate of global warming!

http://www.venganza.org/ has more information on how the decreasing number of pirates in the world is affecting global average temperature, and will tell you what you can do to help.

Oh, no! Germany is dooming us to an even higher rate of global warming!

http://www.venganza.org/ has more information on how the decreasing number of pirates in the world is affecting global average temperature, and will tell you what you can do to help.

RE godgab---
I posted a thread on godgab seeing if there were other discordians around who wanted to discuss our unique approach to the manyfaceted realm of neopaganism, and my post got deleted...

Is discordianism disliked because it isn't "serious enough"? Must all theology be discussed with a straight face?

Really? I've never deleted a post that wasn't a "fuck all christians" post. In fact, yesterday we had a pastafarian "follower" post a bunch of funny messages. And, I'm pretty much an atheist myself.

I'll let the moderators know that they shouldn't be deleting posts like that. Hopefully, you don't mind posting at the forum again. I'm really sorry about that!

It's not "god", it's the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The Flying Spaghetti Monster started this cycle a very long time ago by aimply killing a few pirates. Immediately the earth started warming, following the well documented relationship between pirates and the earth's surface temperature. This has over the years spiraled out of control because every time a pirate dies, the temperature goes up, causing more hurricanes, which kill more pirates, which causes the earth's temperature to go up, and so on.

The "scientists" need to stop wasting their time trying to stop carbon emissions, and they need to spend it helping undo our pirate shortage. This is a problem that I've worked on for quite some time (almost 5 minutes now), and I think the answer is quite simple. We need to take all of the members of the current administration (and their friends) and set them adrift on pirate ships in the middle of the ocean (preferably without sails or oars). They would make great pirates, they are already adept at raping (metaphorically) and pillaging (literally). This would help us correct the delicate balance of nature and would save an innumerable number of lives.

Please, help spread the word, before it's too late.

-> Fritz