Will Barry White Songs Help Sharks Get Down?

iforgotmyfirstlogon writes "From ABC News: Ten resolutely celibate sharks at the National Sea Life Center are getting a blast of Barry White in hopes they'll get in the mood for love." Nothing like a little music to get you in the mood..." CD: Valentines Day should be called Barry White day.

Comments

Actually...

[The Great Wakka]

It'll probably cause the sharks to eat the loudspeakers. Barry White? Yuck.

Re:Actually...

[Anonymous Coward]

Don't knock Barry, his music works better than cheap liquor.

Re:Actually...

[morbid]

...and it has the advantage of a negligable hang-over (ie 5 orders of magnitude less)
but you can't beat red wine.
Well, you can beat me over the head with a LART.

Re:Actually...

[mlk]

They I think this the next stag of the experement, dumping 100 bottles of red wine into the tank.

If that does not get the sharks going, then there is something very wrong with the boy-sharks...

Re:Actually...

[mumkin]

I kinda like Barry, but when I kicked in his CD tonight (after plating dinner, pouring the wine and lighting the candles) Love's Theme elicited nothing but a nervous titter from my SO. Granted, it was meant to be ironic, but it rather goes to show that Mr. White, while a very heavy cat, has become somewhat cliche.

One can only hope that unlike my better half, those sharks are living in an irony-free post-september-11 world, and will be transported by the mellow voice of love.

First Baritone

[IP, Daily]

Babeee

It works for John Cage...

[3waygeek]

on Ally McBeal, so it should work on other sharks, too.

Can't see why not

[kilroy_hau]

He attracted snakes on the Simpsons, didn't he?

Re:Can't see why not

[YoPt]

Your kidding me right? OK. For most the day I have been paying more attention to the Modding on post and IMHO it is all screwed. No offense to this post, I thought it was cute. Informative though? If this catches the eye of anyone who cares and/or can do something to start some reform on the current Mod system please do so.

/mini-rant off

Re:Can't see why not

[x1l]

if you didn't know, the simpsons is a cartoon and cartoons are not real. took me a while to figure that out too!

Re:Can't see why not

[YoPt]

I know the episode well.......

Episode Information:
Episode Number 79
First Aired April 29, 1993
Production Code 9F18
Writer John Swartzwelder
Director Jeff Lynch

Guest Stars: Barry White (as Voice of Himself)
Rating [Contribute] [Details]

Average Rating: 7.95 Vote!
Number of Votes Cast: 19
Episode Rank: 92
Synopsis [Contribute] [Edit] [View Un-Edited]

During an inspection of the school by the superintendent, Bart takes Willy's tractor for a joyride and gets expelled. Marge tries to educate him at home. Lisa protests Springfield's annual snake-bashing day by using Barry White's bass tones to attract the reptiles to safety.
Notes [Contribute] [Edit] [View Un-Edited]

* During this week NBC announced that Simpson's writer / producer Conan O'Brien would become the new host for Late

I still don't see how his post was insightfull.... I have a better Idea. Instead of asking someone else to do something about the current system I think I will voice my opinion to the ./ team and see if I can think of anyother way possible to handle the modding.

Re:Can't see why not

[Anonymous Coward]

There's a few people who, when they get mod points, just open up the top story on the front page and moderate the first few comments randomly. Try not to get too worked up about it.

Re:Can't see why not

[Afrosheen]

"I have a better Idea. Instead of asking someone else to do something about the current system I think I will voice my opinion to the ./ team and see if I can think of anyother way possible to handle the modding."

Yeah and while you're busy doing that futile task, here's another one: ask Bill Gates to reconsider his monopoly and opensource the windows code. Oh and ask God for world peace.

Re:Can't see why not

[Anonymous Coward]

There's a few people who, when they get mod points, just open up the top story on the front page and moderate the first few comments randomly

You say that as if it's a bad thing!

Re:Can't see why not

[Anonymous Coward]

Dude! Calm the fuck down! The world won't end just because you don't agree with some moderators. Why don't you add something constructive to the comments? Maybe then you can get some moderator points and do things the way you want.

Re:Can't see why not

[waterbug]

The sharks may get horny, but will they want to buy iBooks?

Re:Can't see why not

[tswinzig]

Holy shit. The funny post gets modded insightful, and the insightful post gets modded as funny.

Only on Valentine's Day?

hmm

[Graspee_Leemoor]

Today must be a REAL SLOW news day if this makes the front page!

graspee

Re:hmm

[rynix]

It has to be slow if they allow someones proposal on it as well !

Re:hmm

[bigdreamer]

Today must be a REAL SLOW news day if this makes the front page!

Well, that's because CmdrTaco is too busy with Kath^H^H^H^H other things right now.

:) Congrats to the happy couple!

Re:hmm

[Anonymous Coward]

wonder if he needs some barry white to keep it up ;-)

Damn

[Anonymous Coward]

I hope a shark doesn't get all horny and hump me.

That's AWESOME!

[Anonymous Coward]

I wonder if the researchers got the idea from watching South Park.

Re:That's AWESOME!

[rootmonkey]

As the elephant got his groove on with the pig, the pig sqeeled quite hard and Chef says "Now I know how all those white women felt".

call me cynical

[kin_korn_karn]

Sounds fishy to me.
I don't think I believe this.

*groan* *retch*

Thank you, I'll be here til friday, enjoy the steak...

Estranged

[The Lyrics Guy]

Here's a happy little number for St V's day!

Guns n Roses - Estranged

When you're talkin to yourself
And nobody's home
You can fool yourself
You came in this world alone (Alone)

So nobody ever told you baby
How it was gonna be
So what'll happen to you baby
Guess we'll have to wait and see
One, two

Old at heart but I'm only 28
And I'm much too young
To let love break my heart
Young at heart but it's getting much too late
To find ourselves so far apart

I don't know how you're s'posed
To find me lately
An what more could you ask from me
How could you say that I never needed you
When you took everything
Said you took everything from me

Young at heart an it gets so hard to wait
When no one I know can seem to help me now
Old at heart but I musn't hesitate
If I'm to find my own way out

Still talkin' to myself and nobody's home (Alone)

So nobody ever told us baby
How it was gonna be
So what'll happen to us baby
Guess we'll have to wait and see

When I find out all the reasons
Maybe I'll find another way
Find another day
With all the changing seasons of my life
Maybe I'll get it right next time
An now that you've been broken down
Got your head out of the clouds
You're back down on the ground
And you don't talk so loud
An you don't walk so proud
Any more, and what for

Well I jumped into the river too many times to make it home
I'm out here on my own, an drifting all alone
If it doesn't show give it time
To read between the lines
'Cause I see the storm getting closer
And the waves they get so high
Seems everything We've ever known's here
Why must it drift away and die

I'll never find anyone to replace you
Guess I'll have to make it thru, this time
Oh this time
Without you

I knew the storm was getting closer
And all my friends said I was high
But everything we've ever known's here
I never wanted it to die

Simpsons

[asavage]

This reminds me of whacking day

Re:Simpsons

[Anonymous Coward]

This reminds me of whacking day
To me everyday is whacking...oh, you mean something completely different.

Whatever...

[Anonymous Coward]

More like sharks will by swimming into walls blindly as they use their tympanic drums to navigate in addition to hearing.

*ooh baby*... bonk

Sharks and Sex

[CyanideHD]

Do sharks have sex? I don't think so. And Barry White probably won't help any shark.

Elephant Man

[Anonymous Coward]

Dude, Barry White could get the Elephant Man laid.

Re:Elephant Man

[XBL]

laid with Kathleen Fent ;-) No doubt it will be illegal MP3 copies of Barry's songs.

Sure?

[blue_zero]

or maybe they'll just get in the mood to eat anyone bothering to swim out into the ocean..

"OOOOOOOO...your making me hungry.."

"Arby's..sastify your grown up tastes.."

resonance

[kin_korn_karn]

Barry White's voice is so deep that the resonance must serve as a no-touch vibrator for women.

Whats next?

[dmouritsendk]

"Scientists" playing Seals Fly Like An Eagle to abandoned babybirds hoping to get them to fly?

Re:Whats next?

[Anonymous Coward]

That would be the Steve Miller Band's "Fly Like An Eagle".

Re:Whats next?

[Anonymous Coward]

I always thought Sharks would be Van-Halen fans...

Ain't talkin' bout love, my love is rotten to the core...

Re:Whats next?

[martyn s]

I think he meant seal's rendition of the song. Much more inspirational.

Taco VS Kathleen

[DonkeyHote]

Makes me wonder what'd happen if they tossed Taco and Kathleen in with the sharks. We could turn it into a new "reality TV" series.

Stuff that Matters?

[RetardHumper]

How exactly is this "Stuff that Matters"?

Hardee's

[carlcmc]

Maybe if the female ones feed the males some hardees's food too (which Barry white has done comercials for) they'll be more in the mood?

Re:Hardee's

[Amata]

What?? There are still Hardee'ses in existence?? Where??

Re:Hardee's

[BigBir3d]

here

an idea

[macsox]

taco: i think amazon carries barry white cds. hint hint.

Re:an idea

[neuroticia]

Slashdotters need all the help we can get. =] (Although in our case a more appropriate aphrodisiac would be a beowu... Ok. I'll resist the joke.)

-Sara

Hey, it works on whales ...

[Wordsmith]

Hey, it works on whales ... I hear it helped Bill get Monica ...

CBC's "As It Happens"

[euphline]

The CBC's As It Happens had this on the 12th... Hear it in Real Audio. (Link is to page, from which you can link to RA)

-jbn

CD's to make love to

[Anonymous Coward]

I never understood why as a man you would want to make love to the sounds of another man's deep voice, which takes me to my pick of cd's to make love to your girl by, Sarah Brightman's "Time to Say Goodbye." I swear if you dont want to be degraded while carring a bag of panties around the mall, this would be the no. 2 gift which can get some lovin' on Valentine's Day.

homosharksuals

[Afrosheen]

Has anyone considered that these sharks are gay?

Re:homosharksuals

[x1l]

have jonkatz go check.

Re:homosharksuals

[Rude Turnip]

Or maybe they just prefer to flog their fins...

*bada-boom*

Re:homosharksuals

[mother_superius]

There's 10 - if they were just gay, there would indeed be some getting down; there are only 2 genders of shark. The only case in which any shark would not get any is 1 of one gender, 9 of the other... and those 9 would have one hella orgy!

And yes, I know you're only joking. Don't bother replying with that.

Re:homosharksuals

[Afrosheen]

They could be very repressed.

infobit...

[edrugtrader]

sharks have 2 penises

barry's songs apply to 1 penis... could be some problems....

Re:infobit...

[kin_korn_karn]

no wonder sharks are pissed off all the time, I would be really confused if I had TWO penises

Deep Bass

[loydcc]

Why Barry White? For his deep throaty bass sound? What if it's harmful to the sharks? We don't know.

Didn't the US Navy just admit to killing some whales with ultra low frequency sonar?

Re:Deep Bass

[Manaz]

Whales != Sharks...

Re:Deep Bass

[fenix down]

Keep your heresy to yourself.
The earth is flat.
The moon is cheese.
Pi is 3.
And whales are fish.

Re:Deep Bass

[frozenray]

May I kindly suggest that you research the facts more carefully before you accuse others of heresy?

The earth is flat.

Voilà, I give you The Flat Earth Society - quote: "Deprogramming the masses since 1547". Granted, those dudes are a little short on evidence right now, but I'm sure they'll come up with something as soon as they find a way to escape their comfortably padded cells.

The moon is cheese.

Green cheese, to be exact. Here's the scientific evidence, complete with lots of important looking numbers.

Pi is 3.

"Scripture (I Kings 7:23) clearly declares that the value of pi (the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter) is 3, not the secular humanist value of 3.14 taught in every school in Lawrence." Source: this page. (I believe the author might be counseling the prestigious Kansas Education Board. He also has something to say about that ridiculous round earth theory)

By the way, in my day we didn't have those newfangled processors with floating point units you kids have today, so we had to make do with "PI EQU 3" and we got along with it just fine, thank you very much.

And whales are fish.

Yeah, and spiders are not insects, right? Let me quote from this page: "Pure nonsense. Either whales are fish or sharks aren't. I'd say whales are fish." There are more interestings facts to be found on this page, but I have to take my medication now.

Re:Deep Bass

[Anonymous Coward]

Deep throaty bass...Am I the only one who caught the pun?

Thank you Bemer

[CitznFish]

Bemer started programming in 1949 and came up with the notion of the "escape sequence" while working as IBM's chief of programming standards. "Escape," which can be accessed on most keyboards through the "ESC" key, may seem like an innocuous, seldom-used feature to some computer users but its capabilities are heavily used in virtually all programs.

Thank you Bemer for making my Online Gaming experince much easier. How many times do _you_ use the ESC kay during a good game of MOH:AA?? ;-)

Re:Thank you Bemer

[CitznFish]

I swear I posted this in the previous article. Not being a big(no pun intended) Barry White fan (Simpsons episode was funny though!) I have no idea how it ended up here. Also Fish are afraid of Sharks. I want outta this thread!

I'm sure Barry is Pleased

[CDeity]

Who wouldn't be absolutely thrilled to know their music doesn't just help humans fall in love? It sure makes me want to chase women around rooms biting at their backs and lower regions.

Folding tuna tacos of DOOM!

[YourMissionForToday]

Here is some Barry White quote for your amusement:

"Enchante. Baby, that's French. It means, 'you were incredible'."

"Take off that brassiere, my dear...and I don't wanna see no panties."

Barry White went on letterman once, and he said, "gingivitis." It gave me a spider-man sized boner!

Re:Folding tuna tacos of DOOM!

[Anonymous Coward]

Offtopic?? Riiiiight....

Hmm...

[Anonymous Coward]

The poster's name fits this article, but the content doesn't...

duh

[Dr. Awktagon]

How about giving those sharks a little PRIVACY!

Shark #1: Darling, allow me to gentle stroke your pectoral fin.. let me gently nibble your..

Researcher: HEY! He's getting close, turn on the video camera! Play the Barry White! Turn on the spotlight!

Shark #2: Uhm, not interested.

Shark #1: Damn you humans and your infernal lights and music! A pox on your families! May wasps eat at your eyes!

Re:duh

[Dr. Awktagon]

Damn you moderator with your -1: Overrated... a pox on your family! May wasps eat at your eyes!

Yeah... Busy.... That's IT!

[DonkeyHote]

:Picture This:
Taco laying on his back, kathleen stapping on a long 9' black cock 'o love. It's nothing new for him after his sexual trysts with Katz, CoyboyNeal, and the rest of the Slashdot Staff. Rumor has it he even did Oprah, The HUMANITY!

"When all you got is a dildo, everything starts to look like an anus."

Re:Yeah... Busy.... That's IT!

[The Turd Report]

You think there are members of the Slashdot staff that have a 9 foot wang? I heard that most of the slashdot staff are hung like door-bells.

Re:penises

[guiding_knight]

are you sure? I thought maybe it was spelled penii or penae. Certainly sounds better... :)

Barry...

[ackthpt]

To sharks, would Barry be the other White meat...?

"...can't get enough of your love, babe..."

Re:Barry...

[Anonymous Coward]

*flog*flog*flog*

I thought we got all of our punning out in the cat article...

Re:Barry...

[ackthpt]

Sorry, had one more in me after the CmdrTaco loves Kathleen article.

Shouldn't happen again for a few weeks. I've just had a few Pils Urquells which supress the urge nicely.

Nice article on sharks in Santa Cruz Good Times last week, stupidly I left my copy behind. I'll need to catch another one before they all get recycled. Studying blue and great whites off Ano Nuevo, California, where seals, sea lions and elephant seals breed. Neat stuff about the misconceptions of sharts propagated by Jaws and shellfish fisherman, some great pictures, too.

Re:penises

[3waygeek]

It's got to be penii -- -ae is a feminine suffix.

SAD

[drdidg]

Valintines day should be SAD

Singles Awarness Day!! :)

Re:SAD

[mlk]

Valintines day is not about lovers, it's about send cards out to people your'd like have as lovers.

Bloody Commercialism making me spend £1.30 on a card.

Re:penises

[guiding_knight]

thanks :)
I'm a little rusty with latin (OK, so I dont know any latin :)

Ko-Ku

[SweetAndSourJesus]

DJ Krush and Toshinori Kondo - Ko-Ku

<instrumental>

Yeah whatever!

[Anonymous Coward]

Listen to that CD, so you can heard Andrea Bocelli sing instead? I don't think so!

Barry White vs Classical

[kisrael]

The NPR interview with one of the people there (perhaps the curator?) mentioned that the music the carp were listening to was generally classical. Now, despite the effect Barry White might have on humans (and Ally McBeal characters), I wouldn't be surprised if it lacks many of the qualities that made the classical interesting work with the carp. I'm no big fan of classical, but I do buy into the idea that it has a sense of complexity that modern music doesn't have. Most classical generally has less sharp percussion than Barry White's backing band, and probably a less jarring flow. They've said so far that the males seemed more excited, but maybe they're just getting agitated.

Anyway, it sound like pretty dubious science. Cute story for the day however.

Re:Barry White vs Classical

[Anonymous Coward]

Whatever. Maybe Brahms, but stick some Wagner or Sousa in the player and you'll get a nice dose of percussion.

Re:Barry White vs Classical

[kisrael]

Yeah, that's true. I was making some assumptions about what "kind" of classical...personally I only like the big loud or fast stuff, Dvorak's New World Symphony, Mozarts Rondo Alla Turca (sorry mis-spelled).

Not sure if Sousa marches are considered classical though.

Re:Barry White vs Classical

[Anonymous Coward]

Ah, Dvorak's New World... More evidence that John Williams is a plagiarizing hack. :-)

What a development!

[mkc_673]

This can be used to reverse the recent trend in shark attacks. Build bathing suits with small speakers specially built for underwater use. Any nearby sharks will suddenly become preoccupied with 'other things'...

Re:What a development!

[frozenray]

I swear I am not making this up. Look it up at your university library if you don't believe me:

According to a review of the book "Shark Attacks: Their Causes and Avoidance" (Lyons Press) in reputable science journal "American Scientist", Volume 89, September-October 2001, p. 458, "The book is loaded with other shark-related facts, including the surprising information that these animals are less dangerous than toilets: In 1996, only 18 people in the United States were killed or injured by a shark, whereas 43,687 were injured by a toilet. ("Could the toilets be mistaking people for seals?)

And you worry about shark attacks? Me, I play Barry White songs to my toilet. I'd rather have it put the moves on me than mistake me for a seal.

Fish food

[negativethirsty]

Well taken from the report on sharks at seaworld here, I dont think it will work very well.
Since sharks seem to be attracted to sounds from 20hz to 100hz as reported here(humans hear~20hz-20,000hz), because it associates it with prey or a fish in distress. What they do "hear" of Barry would probably only make them want to gobble him up. Sharks can also hear sounds in that ragne from up to 2km away, reported here. Hope they turn ole Barry down baby.

So it seems to me that they will achieve bunch of pissed off hungry sharks.

Jaws Quote as a stupid joke attempt...

[switcha]

Michael!!! Did you hear your father, out of the water NOW!!!!

White Day exists

[markjugg]

There is already a "White Day" and White Day is related to Valentine's Day.

Fair Use

[dcocos]

Does this constitue fair use or is the RIAA going to sue them?

Re:Fair Use

[Anonymous Coward]

is the RIAA going to sue them?

Nope. Professional courtesy.

~~~

All we need is a nice rendition of . . .

[Anonymous Coward]

Baby Got Dorsal.

I love big fins and I cannot lie . . .

~~~

Barry ain't nuttin' !!

[Anonymous Coward]

They REALLY should be playing Isaac Hayes; Barry's good for Ally McBeal types of people, but for pure lovin' flowin' through ALL veins,

It's Isaac Hayes

Hot Buttered Soul

Snakes, Simpsons, and Sharks

[mikeage]

It was deep enough to attract snakes on the simpsons...

Re:Snakes, Simpsons, and Sharks

[Manaz]

Yes.

And the Simpsons is based on real life events too. Anything that happens on the Simpsons, can and does happen in RealLife.

[/SARCASM]

Re:Snakes, Simpsons, and Sharks

[mikeage]

Well, duh.

Actually, that's not quite true. The Halloween episodes are non-canonical.

This is so lame...

[Anonymous Coward]

... so incredibly lame.

whatever happened to "news for nerds. stuff that matters"?

Walrus of Love?

[Dark Legend]

I thought Barry White was the Walrus of love, not the Shark of Love??? strange!

Hey!

[timothiy]

Valentines Day should be called Barry White day

Hey Bucko, listen up! Only *I* get to make inane commentary like that.

Well, sometimes MICHAEL, but that's just my other Editor account.

-TIMOTHY

*rimshot*

[Anonymous Coward]

*ba dum bump*

Re:penises

[nosferatu-man]

It's penises. Deprecated plural, penes.

(jfb)

My Best Valentines Day...

[marko123]

was last night. I was lining up a nice dinner and a chick flick with an old friend a week ago. It didn't trigger at the time that Thursday was VD. So, of course the night was free for both of us.

Although the night didn't end with sex, I realised half-way through dinner that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get into trouble, be insensitive, embarrassing, or thoughtless. There were going to be no tantrums, expectations, or politics. We laughed at our dirty laundry instead of using it to hurt each other.

What more could you want from the night? (You are not allowed to reply with "sex" :)

That's odd , our local news had this story too

[DrSkwid]

And I'm in Nottingham, Englad and the venue was The Birmingham Sea Life Centre, Birmingham, UK!

something fishy is going on!

though of course sharks aren't fish

Re:That's odd , our local news had this story too

[DrSkwid]

doh, read the story idiot

didn;t realise out local news was so interesting to /.!

Re:That's odd , our local news had this story too

[Caled]

Actually I think you'll find that sharks ARE fish.

Re:That's odd , our local news had this story too

[Anonymous Coward]

dam your right.

I was going to just post "nope", but I decided to look it up first, and well, I was wrong.

Re:That's odd , our local news had this story too

[tswinzig]

though of course sharks aren't fish

Ummm perhaps you're thinking of dolphins?

Re:That's odd , our local news had this story too

[DrSkwid]

actually I was falsely distinguishing between bony fish and non-bony fish

sharks are the latter

sharks used to be the domniant of the two with many many variants but latterly the bony fish have more variety

Worked for the Simpsons!

[Geeyzus]

Check out the Whacking Day episode... Barry White saves the city's snakes by singing "I Can't Get Enough Of Your Love Baby" (not sure if that's the right title).

So, if the snakes can respond to Barry, I don't see why other animals wouldnt... :)

Mark

You should see the other tank...

[Nathdot]

where they were playing Celine Dion.

Now those were some fucking angry sharks!:

Neeeeeaar Faaaaaaar, Whereeeeeveeer Yooou Are *MAD FRENZY BEGAN* ... By the time it got to: I Beeeeelieeeeve that my heart will go Oooooooon the tank was filled with blood and one surviving very injured shark.

No; For the "love" it always has to be Barry White!

Re:You should see the other tank...

[QueenOfSwords]

They should have fed Celine to the damn sharks. Followed by every other medicore torch-singer (there's not much meat on Celine). Phil Collins would be next.

Barry White could get JON KATZ laid!

[Anonymous Coward]

Oh who am I kidding. 10 year old boys don't like Barry White.

Dangerous Horny Dolphins

[Geeyzus]

Besides the Simpsons episode regarding snakes, maybe a scarier prospect would be the King of the Hill episode, Return to La Grunta. Hank gets attacked by a horny dolphin! (Along with other people.)

Someone must alert Mr. White now!! Before it's too late!!!!

Mark

Barry White is so unsexy

[little_fluffy_clouds]

Lenny Henry (the British Comedian) said something like (and I'm paraphrasing) "Sex with Barry White must be like shagging an ink blotter", and that the noises he makes during the act (the same ones he makes into the microphone) are really him saying "Get me a crane, I can't get up".

Mod parent down!

[SweetAndSourJesus]

Criticism of /. is not appreciated, troll.

Stuff that matters

[scalveg]

And you thought the Digital-Logic Microspace Mini-PCs were dumb to have on /.!

Re:Stuff that matters

[Anonymous Coward]

No, I thought that for once we could a slashdot story without some whiner complaining that "this isn't news for nerds, this isn't stuff that matters!" or something to that effect. Just ignore the stories which aren't relevant to you, or bug off, but quit bitching/trolling.

NPR

[aroobie]

I listen to this one on NPR on the way in from work today. They did a great job afterwards with a satire of Barry singing actual shark love songs...
The biologist being interviewed said "they (the sharks) were swimming faster" after hearing Barry's` music. - Trying to get away?? -

I dunno...

[Nickovsky]

I would rather a shark try to eat me, than try to get all freaky with me!!!! Oh wait...

How About...

[nealconner]

we just stuff Barry White full of aphrodisiacs and then feed him to the sharks. Anyone object?

fa!

[Anonymous Coward]

Ooohh Baybee...

somewhat offtopic

[prizzznecious]

but damn, this is as close to ontopic as this will ever get!

Re:somewhat offtopic

[nealconner]

lol, I've seen that before, and i'm convinced its a fake.

Shades of South Park....Love Gravy.

[Marsh Jedi]

I seem to remember a potbellied pig, an elephant, a chef, and Elton John.

whoa

[Anonymous Coward]

slashdot really has "jumped the shark"

hrmm... what about the rest of the equation?

[StandardDeviant]

It must be pretty hard to find a red velvet smoking jacket that has provision for a fin, much less a pimp hat that would work for a Sphyrna Lewini...

(I don't know what species of shark these are, I just picked that one randomly.)

degraded?

[Anonymous Coward]

Dude I'll take that bag of panties any day, over some silly CD.

Slashdot is racially ignorant...

[Anonymous Coward]

Jeez, every time, it never fails. Slashdot is, for the most part, a fave hangout of whitey. Does this sound like you?

1) White male

2) Age: 18-30

3) Average IQ (you *think* you're smarter than you really are..)

4) Arrogant and ignorant of the vast number of cultures that exist within the US beyond the one-dimensional "white bread" existence aired on "Friends" every week.

5) Have only heart of Barry White thanks to "The Simpsons". Jeez, that's pathetic...

Re:Slashdot is racially ignorant...

[Anonymous Coward]

1) No, but male

2) No

3) Not according to my IQ test

4) No (although im not the one to judge)

5) No

But I have met a lot of people who match the description...

Re:Slashdot is racially ignorant...

[Gautama]

1) Okay, guilty as charged.

2) Enough older to make a difference

3) I think I'll have to second an earlier statement of, "Not according to my IQ test."

4) While I have to cop to arrogant, (What's wrong with it, after all.) ignorant of other cultures in the US? I would have to say not. It's this point I will _have_ to take offense at. In my life, I've had about as multi-cultural an experience as it is possible to have had. We can first examine the varieties of European culture I've gathered into myself: Grandmother's parents owned a quarry and had lots of greek and italian employees. (Come to think of it, her family's the likely reason for such a relatively large greek population in the area I'm living in now.) Little greek and italian customs got incorperated into their holiday celebrations.
My step-father's family were born in (and spent their early life in) Germany. Came over before WWII and stayed here. They were my first exposure to real german cooking, customs, and culture. (Kind of like Jewish Grandmother TM, but without as much guilt)
My own life has been spent living near and having as close friends people from rather diverse backgrounds. The first time I had Vietnamese food was some good friends of my step-father coming by and cooking us an extensive meal. (I've been very glad of the rise in popularity of Vietnamese resaurants.) How many "whitey" guys know what uses you can put rice flour to? Hell, do you know what Pali Tao (Spelling?) is, much less, how to make it?
Hell, my friends taught me to swear in other languages almost before I learned to cuss in English.
Am I a racial melting-pot? Nope. I'm pretty much a European Alley-Cat. I'll admit that much. Am I devoid of cultural diversity? Hell no. Your own accusations are about as well-informed and narrow-minded as the statement, "It's a black thing, you wouldn't understand." I cry foul on all such separatism and self-serving arrogance. Damn right, there are things that I won't instinctively or immediately understand because of my racial and cultural identity. This does NOT excuse you from trying to explain, nor does it excuse me from trying to understand. I run into things like this fairly often (unfortunately) with my fiance. She will react in a certain, seemingly non-sensical way to a situation leaving me baffled. Generally, it will be a subtlty of the censored-American cultural phenominom that I've completely missed. However, I've gotten quite a bit better at understanding said subtlties, and these things come up less often as time goes by. We suspect that I'm on my way to understanding the censored-American experience better than anyone not born to it.

5) You say this like it's a bad thing. I've never been much on soul, so haven't really even sought out it's artists. Having heard his voice, I can respect it. Damn, but he's impressive vocally. Your accusation is rediculous though. It'd be like criticizing "whitey" for never having heard of James Earl Jones before they'd seen Star Wars. I'll admit to that: I was around 7-11 at the time... Too damned young for to pay any attention to actor credits, much less voice-actor credits!

I'll go ya one better: my high school German teacher was saying "Don't have a cow!" looooooooong before the Simpsons first aired...

Chef, not Barry

[Ilan Volow]

Screw Barry White. We all know that Chef is the one true master of getting sharks to get down.

Ya' know, this reminds me . . .

[Anonymous Coward]

. . . I kind of miss the dolphin sex troll. Wonder what he'd do if he got put in the wrong tank?

~~~

OK....

[Art Tatum]

Errr, thanks for sharing.

..and if you believe that....

[Berserker76]

...I have some beach front property in Arizona that I want to sell you.

These are...

[jmichaelg]

...white sharks?

Dont drink water

[Anonymous Coward]

Dont drink water it's where Fish Fuck !
Well maybe sometimes!!!!

what about both of them?

[mgandhi2]

how bout a bottle of courvosier AND barry white??

japanese

[Nullsmack]

Barry white day eh? Oh hell that would confuse the shit out of any japanese tourist or immegrants that would show up around that time of year.

They have a valentines day too, but then shortly after that they have a white day. That day is where everythings reversed, instead of the boys getting girls stuff.. girls give boys stuff.

Then they'd be wonderin who Barry is, and why it's his white day.

...

I've seen sharks react to music

[limejuice]

I do production work for bands (lights and sound) and recently did a private party for half.com at the New Jersey State Aquarium in Camden and the sound system that was used that night consisted of 4 18" subwoofers. The stage was directly across the dance floor from one of the large windows looking into the main ocean tank, which holds various sharks and other fish that are native to the North Atlantic. After the band began playing, I looked at the tank and noticed that some of the fish were getting more frisky instead of simply moping around the tank like they normally do. I didn't notice any intercourse, but I wasn't really looking for it.

Ally McBeal's favourite character???

[Anonymous Coward]

You know Ally's friend John (the cute guy with dancin' frog). Uh well he's not really that "white".

RIAA

[Lord Sauron]

Will they need a special authorization from RIAA as they'll broadcast it to an audience of ten sharks ?

Will RIAA somehow invoke the DMCA and order the National Sea Life Center to shut down its operations immediatelly because they're causing billions of dollars in losses ?

The irony

[jordanb]

He gets moderated 'insightful' for trying to be funny, and you get moderated 'funny' for being serious.

God I love slashdot ;-)

this could save the australians:

[Noodlenose]

This could save numerous Australians and their tourist industry: Build big Speakers playing Barry White Songs on Bondi Beach and finally surf and swim without the fear of shark-attacks (shakatak?).

Dirk

NPR Segment

[Anonymous Coward]

All Things Considered interviewed those involved yesterday.

Those sharks had better be in the bathroom

[Anonymous Coward]

I mean, that's the only place they can truly "be" with Barry White. Well, maybe for John Cage or Ally McBeal... I guess all they really need's a mirror, and maybe a few equally crazy friend sharks.

Humor-impaired moderators?

[frozenray]

I thought I had made it sufficiently clear that I wasn't seriously trying to refute or attack the parent poster but rather to point out some of those whacky pages one finds all over the internet, and this within a topic which lent itself to attempts at humor.

Read the post again: "as soon as they find a way to escape their comfortably padded cells" (the guys at the Flat Earth Society clearly don't take themselves very seriously), "important-looking numbers", "I have to take my medication now".

"-1, Unfunny", maybe, or "-1, Offtopic" - but "Flamebait"? I hope whoever did that will meet the wrath of metamod.

best - post - ever

[siphoncolder]

this is the best post i've ever seen on /. thanks chrisd!

now I know....

[hakkikt]

why my Iron Maiden Cds weren't working.... :)

Maybe it's just me, but ...

[Chillas]

...in the throes of passion, the last thing I want to hear is a deep male voice.