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Slashback: Riftiness, Ixianism, Eclipse

Slashback (below) brings you tonight more on the fate of Mobilix, "borrowing" from the Onion, keeping track of campus, the recent (partial) eclipse, and animated television. Enjoy!

I want you to hear my side of the story. R. Benjamin Shapiro writes "Hi There, After reading the reactionary (and slanted) Salon story (of which I am a subscriber) and the responses to it, I thought I'd point the /. community to a paper describing what we are actually doing. Many of the suggestions posted on /. are things we have been doing for some time now. Thanks very much for your feedback!"

A minor but nice victory. Werner Heuser writes "In the hearing from June 12th the court has rejected the arguments of 'Lés Editions Albert René.' The court says the words 'MobiliX' and 'Obelix' can hardly be mixed up with each other. Also the work of MobiliX is dedicated to another audience. This is a great success for the Free Software Community.

MobiliX is a very well-known site dedicated to Linux and BSD on mobile devices (like laptops, PDAs, cell phones and more). In November 2001 Werner Heuser, owner of the Open Source project MobiliX - UniX on Mobile Computers was charged by 'Lés Editions Albert René,' which is owner of the trademark 'Obelix.' In their opinion the names Obelix and MobiliX are very similar. The charge aimed for a deletion of the trademark 'MobiliX' and a compensation fee. The charge has been discussed in many newsgroups and mailing lists. It seems to be a very important case for the Free Software Community, because there are many projects, which names are also ending on 'iX.' Some other projects have even silently withdrawn their names, because the financial risk of losing a trademark case is high. The documentation of the case is available online. It includes the letters from MobiliX lawyers Jaschinski Biere Brexl - JBB."

In 10,000 years, these plates will be mandatory. An Anonymous Coward writes "The director of the Nevada DMV has denied the application for a custom plate depicting a mushroom-shaped cloud. The plates where apparently 'insensitive' and otherwise politically incorrect. .. "

Truer than you know. Zeekamotay writes "Referring to this previously reported story, The Beijing Evening News has now apologized to its readers for printing a story that originated from The Onion. They don't quite seem to grasp the concept of satire though: 'Some small American newspapers frequently fabricate offbeat news to trick people into noticing them, with the aim of making money,' the paper said. 'This is what the Onion does.'"

One more item for your bazillion-hour PVR. Stalke writes "This is a little old, but Tripping the Rift, first mentioned in a previous slashdot article, has been picked up by the SCI FI channel as their first ever animated series. For those of you that don't know, this is a parody of Starwars and Star Trek that takes place on the "Free Enterprise" and includes Chode, a purple alien, Six, a half-naked android, and a dark clown named Bobo. A higher res version of the original movie linked by the previous article is also available on their website."

Some of the "Sun" projectors were just down for scheduled maintenance. leananglemorgan writes "Just in case anyone missed the ol' Solar Eclipse on the 10th, here is a link to quick snaps I took ... Not the greatest, but reasonable enough to get some 'Hey that's cool!' remarks. Enjoy! I thought a couple came out good enough to share!" Another reader submits: "Thought everyone would enjoy this eclipse video I found."

232 comments

  1. Could it be? by Metrollica · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    First Post?

    --



    --Metrollica
    1. Re:Could it be? by Anonymous+Pancake · · Score: -1

      damn I almost had it

      was logged in with my karma account by mistake and had to log out

    2. Re:Could it be? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      Next time my friend, next time.

    3. Re:Could it be? by Anonymous+Pancake · · Score: -1

      it's alright, I had a fp yesturday

    4. Re:Could it be? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      You should have posted as AC and dedicated to CLIT... the ultimate paradox.

    5. Re:Could it be? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      dont you mean irony you must mean irony

    6. Re:Could it be? by Anonymous+Pancake · · Score: -1

      I could have posted as AC and then claimed the FP for clit right after. But thats kind of lame.

    7. Re:Could it be? by k0osh.CEOofCLIT · · Score: -1

      yew AC's are lame period.

  2. You know what I hate? by CmdrTaco+(troll) · · Score: -1

    When all my linii boxen get virri. After reinstalling, I have to edit all my confii.

    --

    I hope high gas prices are depriving your children, you fucking dumbass.
    1. Re:You know what I hate? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      You're actually trolling on your own site?

    2. Re:You know what I hate? by CmdrTaco+(troll) · · Score: -1

      Yes, yes I am. It's pretty boring around here nowadays. I do this to pass the time. By the way, the 't' in slasdot is for 'troll'. By the way, I am going to mod slap you for such a stupid question.

      --

      I hope high gas prices are depriving your children, you fucking dumbass.
    3. Re:You know what I hate? by MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM · · Score: -1

      Snot my bitch up.

    4. Re:You know what I hate? by User+956 · · Score: 1

      Yeah, or when a l1nuX h4X0R decides to run script-kiddie nonsense on a production web server. Rebuilding that thing is fun galore.

      --
      The theory of relativity doesn't work right in Arkansas.
  3. Oh yeah by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    it is FP alright

  4. bladiebla by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    fp :)

  5. woot! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    first post

  6. Favorite Things by on+by · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    crapfloods and trolling and raping small kittens
    nice wider pages and wanking with mittens
    turd report packages tied up with strings
    these are a few of my favorite things

    grits covered portman and ASCII art doodles
    ACs and CLITers and Katz sex with poodles
    wild trolls that fly with plus five mod scoring
    these are a few of my favorite things

    when the ban hits, when I can't post, when I'm feeling sad
    i simply remember my favorite things
    then i don't feel so bad

    Rob Malda chugs penis in fan fiction slashes
    taco snot over my nose and eyelashes
    BSD dying and that goatse ring
    these are a few of my favorite things

    grits covered portman and ASCII art doodles
    ACs and CLITers and Katz sex with poodles
    wild trolls that fly with plus five mod scoring
    these are a few of my favorite things

    when the ban hits, when I can't post when, I'm feeling sad
    i simply remember my favorite things
    then i don't feel so bad

    yeah! yeah!

  7. eeerrr Number1 by foodb4nk · · Score: -1

    damn it janet

    --
    *huh* Sig? WTF?
  8. 19th post... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    booyeah... I beat out EVERYONE for the 19th post...

    I don't see what the big deal is... I like mushroom clouds... they should be everywhere

    1. Re:19th post... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      damn... only 7th (or so)

  9. The GNU/Stallman diaries. Issue 2. by GNUStallman · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    The GNU/Stallman diaries. Issue 2.


    Greetings Comrades! Welcome to issue 2 of the GNU/Stallman diaries!

    This issue contains part 1 of a 2 part story. I had to split it into two because GNU/Hurd keeps crashing! :( &lt--- thats a sad face! Eric showed me it on his AOL account. Look at it sideways and you'll see!

    Yesterday my good friend Eric called me on the telephone and suggested I take a break from writing GNU/Hurd and that we take a visit to the Zoo. I told him he was crazy and that GNU/Hurd and the glorious peoples revolution it will create were far more important!

    "But Dick," said Eric. "They have a butterfly show on today."

    Well! If it's got butterflies, I'm there! So off we went to the Zoo!

    Eric is a little slow, he has Downs Syndrome or something, so the walk to the Zoo took about 3 hours. When we finally arrived I saw huge posters covered in pretty butterflies! I was so excited!

    No sooner had we walked in the gates when Eric needed to go to the toilet. I told him to go before we left but would he listen? Oh no of course not! Luckily I had my bone flute so I got it out and had a quick play whilst waiting for Eric.

    Poor Eric, he recently lost his job. Something to do with carpentry at a hospital I think. Planks or boards had something to do with it and it may have been a veterans hospital. I'm none too sure though. I'm always too busy with the GNU/Hurd and filosi^H^H^H^H^H^H philosa^H^H^H^H^H^H^H thinking about the glorious uprising of the oppressed working class and unwashed masses rising up in a glorious peoples revolution of Cheap Software against the evil tryanny of expensive supported corporate closed software that has created a world of bureaucratic mind control of the masses of oppressed peopl...

    Errr. Sorry about that. Now where was I...

    Oh yes - butterflies! Everyone knows I like butterflies. I have a big paper one stuck to my computer that I made and colored in myself. I like to look at it while I play with my bone flute.

    Eric finally finished his toilet business and we could finally get to see what we had come for.

    To be Continued...

    --

    The capitalist system carried within itself the seeds of its own destruction. - Carl Marx
  10. WOMEN: Please read and respond! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    What is your age and bra size?

    Thank you.

    1. Re:WOMEN: Please read and respond! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      19, 44B

    2. Re:WOMEN: Please read and respond! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      Is that you, Rhia?

    3. Re:WOMEN: Please read and respond! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      17 yr old and 38DD

      too much for u 2 handle?

    4. Re:WOMEN: Please read and respond! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      No, fatty.

    5. Re:WOMEN: Please read and respond! by LinuxCumShot · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      are you ready for the real revolution which is the evolution of the mind.

      --
      -- OMFG = Oh My Floatse Goatse
    6. Re:WOMEN: Please read and respond! by k0osh.CEOofCLIT · · Score: -1

      The Chicago Chapter of the Lesbian Avengers is still active.
      Call our hotline at 312/409.3705 or e-mail Chicago Lesbian Avengers for meeting information.
      More updates to the website should be coming soon.

      Who are the Lesbian Avengers?
      We are a direct action group focused on issues vital to lesbian survival and visibility. We are always looking for dykes in the Chicagoland area to join our group to fight homophobia and help make the dyke presence in Chicagoland bigger.

      What is direct action?
      Direct action means turning our political ideals into concrete confrontation. We conduct letter writing campaigns, visibility actions, and guerrilla publicity campaigns all the while flaunting our lesbionic outrageousness. Check out some of our most recent actions.

      What is considered a lesbian issue?
      ANYTHING that affects the members of our exceedingly diverse lesbian community. This includes issues ranging from fat-phobia, racism, and domestic violence to the growing power of the Religious Right. Each of us has the right and the power to decide which issues affect our survival and which issues we want to pursue.

      How do the Lesbian Avengers work?
      We meet every Tuesday night at 7:30 p.m. at Horizons (961 W. Montana) to discuss general business, plan actions and the occassional fundraiser, and make announcements about various upcoming lesbian events. At these meetings ANYONE can introduce an idea onto the floor to develop an action. Meetings are led by a facillitator who guides the discussion and keeps us on track. Minutes are also taken at each meeting and whoever volunteers to take minutes is expected to facillitate at the next meeting.

      Check out pictures of the First Annual Dyke March 1996 in Chicago

      Can anyone join?
      The Lesbian Avengers welcome ANY and ALL lesbian/bi- identified women who want to turn their energy and anger into ACTION.

      Is Lesbian Avengers right for me?

      * Does it bother you when people at work assume you have a boyfriend?
      * Does it bother you for every dollar a man makes a woman makes $.70?
      * Do you want to do something positive with your anger?
      * Do you need to get connected with other dykes?
      * Do you like to meet unconventional chicks?
      * Do you long to be a public lesbian?
      * Do you dream of walking topless down Broadway carrying a Lesbian Avenger banner?
      * Do you want to learn to eat fire?
      * Do you want to make your ideas into actions?
      * Do you enjoy creating guerilla art?
      * Would you relish the opportunity to be out & proud on national news networks?

      If you answered yes to two or more of these questions RUN don't walk to the phone and join a small band of pissed off activists aka the Lesbian Avengers to constructively release your anger toward the heterosexist, racist, classist, etc...society.

    7. Re:WOMEN: Please read and respond! by fmaxwell · · Score: -1, Troll

      Age: 83
      Bra Size: 38 Long

    8. Re:WOMEN: Please read and respond! by MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM · · Score: -1

      SHOW US YOUR TITS!!!!!!!

  11. Frequently? by ObviousGuy · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Some small American newspapers frequently fabricate offbeat news to trick people into noticing them, with the aim of making money,' the paper said. 'This is what the Onion does.

    At one issue a week, I sometimes wish it were more frequent!

    And I could do without all the shitting jokes.

    --
    I have been pwned because my /. password was too easy to guess.
    1. Re:Frequently? by Jonny+Ringo · · Score: 1

      Yeah, no kidding. The Onion crew takes like a week off, for every holliday. You can forget about Christmas and New years, I think they took a whole month off for that. Plus, this includes the hollidays where everyone else has to work. Those satire slaking suckas!

    2. Re:Frequently? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

      Whereas large American newspapers / TV stations and other media frequently fabricate offbeat news to trick people into believing -

      a) They have a democracy vs a plutocrary

      b) That JFK was really killed by a lone gunman

      c) The Microsoft settlement is for the best

      d) That America is not the worlds biggest financier of terrorism

      c) That the government doesnt just arrest people to get good PR

      d) DMCA / USAPATRIOT etc arent just to shore up the status quo

      I think you can guess most of the rest...

    3. Re:Frequently? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Hahaha. NUTBAG.

  12. anal destruction by Anonymous+Pancake · · Score: -1

    It's been 3 days since I've been back on my feet after my anal correction surgery. The doctors told me they have corrected as much of the damage as they could. I think I will get used to having to wear diapers the rest of my life, things could be worse. At least I am still alive, and I can still breathe the fresh air, smell the blossoming flowers, and hear the chirps of courting birds on a spring day. Although my life is much different now, I have the willpower and confidence to move on.

    My name is Rob Malda. I got anally feltched too hard.

    I remember the night like it was yesterday. Another fun and energetic Saturday at the discotech in the gay corner of town. I was being my normal flamboyant social butterfly self and talking to all the local cuties. There were a lot of muscly guys there and I must tell you the scent of raw, homosexual energy at the discotec always made the hair on my neck (and other places) stand erect. But there was this one guy who really stood out in the crowd. I would later discover his name was Jamal. The first time I saw his glistening ebony skin at the discotec I knew I wanted him inside me. I've always been good at picking up guys so I walked in my sharp female way, swinging my ass at each step, until I was right in front of that sexy piece of chocolate cake. He had short, frizzy hair, teeth whiter than milk, and a friendly smile that was out of this world. Man, I wanted his dick in my ass so bad. But I had to keep my groove. I said to him in my well crafted lisping tone, "Hey sweetie, I've never your sweet ass in these parts before, want to join me for a drink?" He smiled and replied in a deep yet touching voice, "Heh heh, I sure would you little sex muffin"

    This really hit it off from there, We talked and danced and flirted like schoolgirls. I found out he was from a town a few hundred miles away, visiting the big city for a little fun. He had muscles like you wouldn't believe, obviously worked out a lot, I felt like a little strawman compared to him (I'm fashionably slim). I was on top of the world, the envy of every boy at the place, a star. When we were resting from the thumping disco-house music, I asked Jamal if he wanted a bump of crystal meth. He gladly accepted, telling me that in the town where he came from it was hard to find good crystal. I took a bump myself. My nose is no stranger to this wonderful stuff! The energy from the crystal really made us move. His dancing skills were on par with mine (which are excellent, I have danced in a couple of small Broadway-style plays before). I was really getting hot and horny at this point though, I knew we had to find a quiet spot of our own.

    We walked very quickly to the bathroom; I couldn't keep my hands off his lucious abs. We found an empty stall and stormed into it, it was a whirling hurricane of passion. The speed made us very energetic. We didn't make out for long before things became hot and heavy. I slipped my hand into his tight leather pants and grabbed his sweet man package. I was thinking at this point 'how did a firehose end up in here?'. Then I realized this was his cock. It was the longest, thickest anaconda of a cock I ever witnessed. I pulled down his pants, which was difficult because he was getting real hard, real fast. I don't even want to guess how long his penis was, at least 12 inches, maybe more. And it was so think I couldn't even grab around it all with one hand. His cock was sweaty and glistened. I wanted this black staff real bad. I pulled off my own pants and bent down. I stuck the head of his cock in my mouth but it was just too big. I licked the rim a bit but I knew what I REALLY wanted. I turned around and assumed the position I have assumed so many times before. Face down, ass up. That's the way we like to fuck. My anus was not prepared for this brutal thrashing however. I've always described the sensation of anal intercourse as taking a long, incredibly enjoyable shit. But this didn't feel right at all. The walls of my anus were ripping, "PLEASE! Be gentle! I'm just a little white boy" I screamed. Jamal, fueled by crystal meth, wouldn't stop though. He began pushing his black cock into me harder and harder. The pain and pleasure was out of this world. I could feel his huge testicles smacking the back of my ass. He was grunting and groaning like a real man. I could hear the sensuous sound of blood and shit being packed by his violent fucking. I was in immense pain but I didn't want it to stop. He must have fucked me for 45 minutes before it was over but finally he began to cum. He was screaming so loud, "OH OH OH OH OH MY GOD, YES YES YES, TAKE IT LIKE A MAN, TAKE IT LIEK A MAN, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! OH YEAH!" At that moment I felt a gallon of cum spray into my ass, and I could hear shit, blood, and semen squishing inside me. It was paradise.

    After Jamal removed his penis from my ass the problems started. I realized I was bleeding a lot more than usual. It took a whole roll of toilet paper to clean it up. I got dressed and returned to the discotech to unwind before going home. As I was walking across the dancefloor I felt a sharp pain in my ass and lower stomach. I fell to the floor and started screaming, I was shaking and sweaty and pale. At that moment, a huge surge of watery shit spewed from my anus. It was mixed with blood and semen. I was crying and screaming and in pain. Everything started to go black and I vomited all over myself. I briefly remember someone pulling me out of my pile of feces, semen, blood, and vomit and on to a stretcher.

    I awoke in a hospital bed. A doctor was there when I opened my eyes. He explained to me how I almost died and how my ass and lower intestine were permanently damaged not only from Jamal but also from years of vigorous fucking by multitudes of men. It was a shock but I knew it was my own fault, you cannot lead this sort of lifestyle and not face the consequences one day.

    So life goes on, I no longer frequent the discotec where I met Jamal and then collapsed spewing watery shit. I lead a much more relaxed, normal life now. I still talk to Jamal, even though he damaged me I will never forget that night. He is in love now with a boy in his hometown, and I wish him the best.

  13. We'll try back in a few generations... by smittyoneeach · · Score: 5, Insightful

    "According to congressional workers, the Onion is a publication that never ceases making up false reports," the Evening News said.

    Dear China,
    Learning how to mock your government is an essential step towards democracy. Sorry you miss the point. Odds are, you'll 'get' democracy around the time the former Soviet Onion does...
    R,
    C
    --
    Get thee glass eyes, and, like a scurvy politician, seem to see things thou dost not.--King Lear
    1. Re:We'll try back in a few generations... by crazney · · Score: 1, Troll

      Which will probably be several millenia before America "gets" democracy.

      --
      stuff
    2. Re:We'll try back in a few generations... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      God, I hope so. America is and should be a republic.

      4 wolves and a sheep cant vote what to have for dinner.

    3. Re:We'll try back in a few generations... by captain_craptacular · · Score: 2, Funny

      Yeah, your right. The Americans are a lot less democratic than the Chinese. If it wasn't for the efforts of the US government to forceably keep people from leaving by holding the remaining family hostage 90% of Americans would probably have emigrated to China by now.

      --
      They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty nor security
    4. Re:We'll try back in a few generations... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

      Your so-called democracy doesn't really exist.
      Frankly, I'd rather blatant psuedo-democracy rather than we-will-use-terrorism-as-a-fucking-ridiculous-mean s-of-passing-laws-that-null-and-void-any-democract ic-values-left-in-our-nation psuedo-democracy.

    5. Re:We'll try back in a few generations... by crazney · · Score: 1

      I'm not saying China is more democratic than America, at the moment they probably arn't.

      But America's inistance that they are "purely democratic" when they obviously arn't leaves little room for improvement. Whereas China has conceded they arn't democratic - this gives them alot of room to change.

      --
      stuff
    6. Re:We'll try back in a few generations... by discstickers · · Score: 3, Informative

      When has the US insisted that it was purely democratic? It has always been viewed as a republic. Hence the electoral college. ::ducks as flame war begins over the last election::

      --
      I have a shitty sig!
    7. Re:We'll try back in a few generations... by captain_craptacular · · Score: 1

      So you're saying it's better to have a crappy system with lots of room for improvement than a generally good system with little room for improvement? Doesn't sound like a good way to evaluate things to me.

      --
      They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty nor security
    8. Re:We'll try back in a few generations... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      ...than a generally good system with little room for improvement?

      His point isn't that there really is little room for improvement, as you so optimistically state. His point is that Americans think it's perfect already, which leaves little incentive for the improvement it so desparately needs.

    9. Re:We'll try back in a few generations... by crazney · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I'll byte..

      Not necessarily in the short term.. But in the longer term America's arrogant position will drag it down to anything-but a democratic system... (can anyone say 'previous election' or 'corporate sponsurship of politicians'?) - Though the way I see china is ultimatly having a better system since they'll probably try to combine comunism (the 'citizens input' aspect of it) with democracy and end up with something good.

      Remember kids, comunism isn't bad - they just taught you that because 'russia was bad' and 'china is bad': Neither of which are proper communist states.

      --
      stuff
    10. Re:We'll try back in a few generations... by prock307 · · Score: 0

      They can call it whatever they want, as long as they aren't stuffing our politicians pockets to the brim China will not be considered democratic.

      About your .sig, I've moved recently...
      rock@habu:~$ uptime
      22:29:54 up 123 days, 8:16, 14 users, load average: 0.18, 0.44, 0.56

    11. Re:We'll try back in a few generations... by RevDigger · · Score: 1

      Yeah,

      It's just a *coincidence* that every communist country ever instituted has been an oppressive, murderous, soul crushing disaster. Next time for sure.

      "Government lies, and newspapers lie, but in a democracy at least they are different lies."

      -- Unknown

    12. Re:We'll try back in a few generations... by sjudd · · Score: 1

      hmm, sounds like your an american. Has your cuntry set a date yet ?

      --
      All women want is honesty, if you can fake that, you're in.
    13. Re:We'll try back in a few generations... by Loligo · · Score: 2

      >Americans think it's perfect already

      Huh. Nice sweeping generalization there.

      I don't know anyone that thinks America is "perfect".

      Then again, at least here we have a system in place where we can try to fix the things that AREN'T perfect.

      In China, trying to fix the broken things results in the army being called out to drive their tanks into student rallies.

      -l

    14. Re:We'll try back in a few generations... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Arrgh. They _called_ themselves communist. They weren't - just like any religion that claims to be just and true probably isn't.

      Like America calls itself a democracy, when it's clearly a plutocracy.

    15. Re:We'll try back in a few generations... by crazney · · Score: 1

      As I said, they wern't/arn't commmunist.

      --
      stuff
    16. Re:We'll try back in a few generations... by Jedi+Alec · · Score: 1

      Perhaps in China they consider the student rallies to be the broken thing...

      --

      People replying to my sig annoy me. That's why I change it all the time.
    17. Re:We'll try back in a few generations... by BabyDave · · Score: 1
      I doubt that true Communism is possible - greedy, power-hungry people will always 'cheat' the system and rise to positions of power., while the people who do believe in the ideals of Communism are more likely to accept being sacrificed (in one sense or another) if they believe it is best for "the people".

      The net result being that you have a corrupt government that is only interested in preserving the status quo, rather than acting in the interests of "the people".

      Mind you, s/Communism/Democracy and the above would probably still be true.

    18. Re:We'll try back in a few generations... by markmoss · · Score: 2

      From what I've heard, make a joke like that about the government in China and they shoot you and bill your family for the bullet. Bureaucrats and fanatics have no sense of humor...

      OTOH, in Russia (even under the Soviets) nearly everyone makes jokes about the government. Unfortunately, they more they joke about it, the less they do to fix it.

      That's getting to be a problem here, too. 8-(

    19. Re:We'll try back in a few generations... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Gorbachev was a true communist. He, like you, actually believed the load of swill that is communism. He thought communism could survive freedom of speech and that people would accept communism without having a gun pointed to their head. He was wrong.

      You do realize, don't you, that if the state has absolute power, total scumbags will be drawn to that power and will run that state? I mean, surely you can see that? What possible checks to abuse of power can exist in a communist state?

    20. Re:We'll try back in a few generations... by RevDigger · · Score: 1

      Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, a True Communist State and you all arrive at a 4-way stop at the same time. Which one of you get's to go first? :)

    21. Re:We'll try back in a few generations... by unitron · · Score: 1

      The one with the smallest bladder.

      --

      I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.

    22. Re:We'll try back in a few generations... by User+956 · · Score: 1

      I see someone's been watching Kevin Smith movies...

      --
      The theory of relativity doesn't work right in Arkansas.
  14. Eclipse pictures by ObviousGuy · · Score: 5, Funny

    Great now I have a glowing dot in my field of vision.

    Warning: Don't look directly at the pictures. Use a pinhole camera. Once you burn out those rods and cones, they are gone forever. Be careful, please. It's too late for me, but maybe this warning can prevent someone else succumbing to the same fate.

    --
    I have been pwned because my /. password was too easy to guess.
    1. Re:Eclipse pictures by dargaud · · Score: 5, Funny
      Seen on a sign in a laser lab:
      Warning ! Don't look into laser with remaining eye !
      --
      Non-Linux Penguins ?
    2. Re:Eclipse pictures by acoustiq · · Score: 1

      I'm sure that if I could read your message, it would be useful.

      --

      --
      I romp with joy in the bookish dark
    3. Re:Eclipse pictures by Dr.+Cody · · Score: 1

      That reminds me of some lines from the Kids in the Hall...

      man sells his jean jacket to the devil for a lifetime supply of pot
      man rolls joint, saying...
      "A good jean jacket takes time, but brain cells--gone forever."

    4. Re:Eclipse pictures by carlos_benj · · Score: 1

      Once you burn out those rods and cones, they are gone forever.

      Actually they grow back rather quickly. The spot in your vision after someone takes a flash picture of you is either the rods or cones or both (can't recall right now) that were burnt out. The persistence of the spot is a gague of how quickly they are replenished. What staring into the sun does is burn the retina. That's permanent.

      --

      --

      As a matter of fact, I am a lawyer. But I play an actor on TV.

    5. Re:Eclipse pictures by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Where I work, we deal with fairly powerful, large diameter lasers and just happen to be located on the Hanford Nuclear reservation. The joke here should be modified to:

      Warning! Don't block laser with remaining head!

    6. Re:Eclipse pictures by packeteer · · Score: 1

      actually your wrong... the rods and cones do not come back... to understnad you must understnad the eye... ok so the rodes and cones have a chemical in them which breaks down in the presence of light and the detection of this break down is how you see... when you look into a flash really quickly the chemicals are gone and must be replentished before you can see again... same thing with when your in a dark room and you go outside into the sun... it hurts because your eye is letting too mugh light in... so the rods and cones being damaged is forever...

      --
      unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep
    7. Re:Eclipse pictures by carlos_benj · · Score: 1

      That certainly makes more sense than the explanation I was given. Darn teachers! Who can you trust?

      --

      --

      As a matter of fact, I am a lawyer. But I play an actor on TV.

  15. Solar Eclipse by Procrasturbator · · Score: 1

    This was the first solar eclipse in way too long, and not to mention, the first time nobody thought I was strange for staring directly at the sun for hours straight in a long, long time.

    1. Re:Solar Eclipse by carlos_benj · · Score: 1

      I missed most of it. One of the sites linked in the /. story said the 75% occlusion would be reached at a particular time MST when they meant MDT! Of course going out nearly an hour afterward just got me in on the waning shadow.

      --

      --

      As a matter of fact, I am a lawyer. But I play an actor on TV.

  16. My All-time favorite Onion headline by carambola5 · · Score: 3, Funny

    "Microsoft Patents Ones, Zeroes"

    --
    IWARS.
    People, in general, disappoint me. Politicians even more so.
    1. Re:My All-time favorite Onion headline by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      ... but I've got a bitchin' Camaro!

    2. Re:My All-time favorite Onion headline by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I thought "Man Hit By Big Goddamned Bus" was pretty funny, and their 9/11 logo, "Holy Fucking Shit! - America Under Attack"

    3. Re:My All-time favorite Onion headline by RevDobbs · · Score: 2, Funny

      My favorite conversation heard over cubicle walls:

      JB: Holy shit! I can't believe it, Microsoft patented zeros and ones!

      TS: Uhm, what?

      JB: Yeah, it's right here, check it out...

      TS: Joe, you're reading The Onion again.

      JB: Oh, yeah. I forgot.

      ... and sad to say, Joe was just hired to do network administration...

    4. Re:My All-time favorite Onion headline by evilpenguin · · Score: 2

      Okay, now that we've descended into favorite Onion bits, I think their funniest work was in their fin-de-siecle book, Our Dumb Century.

      I'm usually not a fan of scatalogical humor, but two of my favorite bits were:

      FDR's Fireside Chat Last Night Just a Stream of Cuss Words.

      And the huge headline: "HOLY FUCKING SHIT! MAN WALKS ON FUCKING MOON!" subheaded: "Armstrong's Historic First Words: 'Holy living fuck!'"

      For some reason, the more swearing there was in the moon landing article, the funnier it became. I remember the moon landing and it was such a solemn thing. And yet, if anything in my entire lifetime merited this kind of "awestruck cussing" it was the moon landing. And nobody swore. Not on VOX anyways...

    5. Re:My All-time favorite Onion headline by kpetruse · · Score: 1

      "Man ends business call with 'I Love You'".

      Now, this is funny for me because yesterday I sent my girlfriend an email, and then sent one to some colleagues. Unfortunately I signed the business one like I sign the ones to my girlfriend.

      I've made a whole load of new friends at work...damn....

    6. Re:My All-time favorite Onion headline by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "Area mofo announces plans to chill"

    7. Re:My All-time favorite Onion headline by The+Grassy+Knoll · · Score: 1

      Sorry, best one ever was:

      God replies to prayers of small child - "No", says God.

      Rob

      --
      They will never know the simple pleasure of a monkey knife fight
  17. Mushrooms by NickRob · · Score: 1

    The director of the Nevada DMV has denied the application for a custom plate depicting a mushroom-shaped cloud. The plates where apparently 'insensitive' and otherwise politically incorrect. ..

    If I recall correctly, weren't these standard issue liscense plates a while back? They may have been a bit more expensive, but it seemed like every other Nevada plate had them. It's a big part of NV's history.

    1. Re:Mushrooms by Ikari+Gendou · · Score: 1

      If I recall correctly, weren't these standard issue liscense plates a while back?

      Nope they never were. Up until 1982 we had the colbalt blue plates, from 1982 until this year, we had the silver "Bighorn Sheep" plates, and now we have a color ripoff of the Colorado plates.

      --

      Call on God, but row AWAY from the rocks!

    2. Re:Mushrooms by JesseL · · Score: 3, Funny

      Heh, it seems Nevada officials would like to leave the bad 'ol days of nuclear testing behind them and focus instead on their illustrious(sp?) history of gambling, prostitution, and racketeering ;-)

      --
      "Prefiero morir de pie que vivir siempre arrodillado!"
    3. Re:Mushrooms by mrmez · · Score: 1

      Ah, that reminds me of a story I remember seeing in a small, weekly newspaper published in my previous hometown, Madison. According to this front page story (which I couldn't find archived online at the paper's site, http://www.theonion.com), Nevada recently repealed all laws making everything legal.

    4. Re:Mushrooms by Jack9 · · Score: 1

      I was actually looking and hoping for something about Dune as well.

      --

      Often wrong but never in doubt.
      I am Jack9.
      Everyone knows me.
  18. L�s Editions? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Flamebait

    Just because you haven't figured out how to type an accented uppercase E doesn't mean that you can just put the accent on a nearby lowercase e. It's "Les Éditions Albert René", you foreign language wannabes.

    1. Re:L�s Editions? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      BTW, you usually don't put accents
      on uppercase letters in French.

      So there!

  19. At least Beijing Evening News got ONE thing right. by allism · · Score: 4, Funny

    It seems like they are right on target for understanding what The Onion does: Fabricate offbeat news to make money. I'm glad they have reached the wisdom and recognition levels my 7-year-old niece possesses.

    We'll know if they've really figured out that The Onion is NOT a news source if they stop accusing Bill Gates of poisoning the water supply, although they might get the same impression from certain other web sites. Oh dear, I can see it now: Yu Bin not only quoting Joe Klein from The Onion, but getting his substantiation from /.!

  20. Is the Onion going to sue? by Cognitive+Dissident · · Score: 5, Funny

    Next the Onion should run a story about planning to file suit against the Beijing Evening News for stealing their story.

    Oh, but they don't know what copyright means, either... so they won't get the joke.

    1. Re:Is the Onion going to sue? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0


      All your disgrace are belong to us.

    2. Re:Is the Onion going to sue? by geschild · · Score: 1
      "Some small American newspapers frequently fabricate offbeat news to trick people into noticing them, with the aim of making money," the paper said. "This is what the Onion does."

      It cited a recent Onion article about the U.S. government issuing life jackets to all Americans for some unexplained reason. "According to congressional workers, the Onion is a publication that never ceases making up false reports," the Evening News said.


      And once more... for discrediting/slandering them in a national publication. ;)

      ---
      --
      Karma? What's that again?
  21. The Onion by NickRob · · Score: 1

    'Some small American newspapers frequently fabricate offbeat news to trick people into noticing them, with the aim of making money,' the paper said. 'This is what the Onion does.'"

    Well, as nice as it is to see the paper retract their statments, does the Onion really make that much money? I mean, aside from the ads and paper subscriptions they really don't have a source of capital (Like the classified sections of your other papers)

    1. Re:The Onion by MindStalker · · Score: 1

      You know what, I never realized the Onion did paper subscription. WHOHO! I'm ordering me one now! (you should contact them for your commision check now. HAHA)

    2. Re:The Onion by Skater · · Score: 1

      Have you ever read one of the paper editions? A friend brought a paper issue back for us. The ads in the back probably paying the bills nicely.

      --RJ

    3. Re:The Onion by NickRob · · Score: 1

      Why not? I'll knock them up for money, even if it's 45 cents it'll be nice.

    4. Re:The Onion by ngc1976 · · Score: 1

      Actually, they do. While interviewing there, that was one of the questions I asked. Turns out the ads and subscriptions more than pay for everything, even with being able to pick up free copies wherever it is in paper form. I suppose if I ever moved away from the Onion's home, I'd order them. $40/year within the U.S. and $200/year for anywhere else.

    5. Re:The Onion by Le+Marteau · · Score: 1

      Where I live (Denver) the hardcopy Onion is distributed for free at finer stores statewide.

      I can see it now... it's almost an Onion story: "Man Buys Otherwise Free Content".

      Seriously, all the good stuff is on their web site. The hardcopy has some ads you don't get on the site, but I'd not pay for that as long as you can type onion.com

      --
      Mod down people who tell people how to mod in their sigs
    6. Re:The Onion by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The Onion was started by some UW-Madison graduates back in the day. It has since spread to other major cities, but only the Madison hardcopy edition features the "Drunk of the Week" interviews, one of the funniest parts of the paper. If you don't live in Madison, it's _almost_ worth paying for a subscription just to read that.

    7. Re:The Onion by ngc1976 · · Score: 1

      Actually, they don't have "drunk of the week" anymore or the "police report". Took it out about 2 years ago when the paper went to color on the front page and was unfolded. Too bad really. That was another thing I asked them during my interviews, if that or any other type of localization was coming back, esp in Madison. The answer unfortunately was no, although they were trying to think up something new for minor localization. Freshman year in the dorms at the UW-Madison, it was everyone's goal to somehow find them on Thursday night and become drunk of the week.

    8. Re:The Onion by kent_eh · · Score: 1

      It looks lke I may have to subscribe.

      I just surfed over to The Onion, and got met by my company's "you have violated the corporate use of electronic media policy, this access has been logged" message.

      I guess I'll have to go to some pages that the filter will let me read, like The Sun, and page three.

      --

      ---
      "I can't complain, but sometimes still do..." Joe Walsh
    9. Re:The Onion by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I notice a lot of towns in Ohio and less often other miwest states get featured as places for the stories (and I get a chuckle out of each one I recognize). Any chance they mentioned why?
      Why have they taken down the John Travolta critically low e-meter reading one (I have archived it but am missing the picture).

    10. Re:The Onion by flewp · · Score: 2

      They have a "Boozehound of the Week" now. It's apparently a joint thing between The Onion, Riverwest Brewery (they make some rocking beers), Foundation Milwaukee, and Cream City Culture. Don't know if they have this kind of thing in other cities.

      --
      WWJD.... for a Klondike bar?
  22. The Onion is not a tabloid by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    The Chinese seem to think that the Onion is a tabloid!. That's why they described it as they did.

    1. Re:The Onion is not a tabloid by Metrollica · · Score: -1

      No shit. Stop pointing out the obvious. What will you tell us next. That Linux isn't free?

      --



      --Metrollica
  23. Lunix SUCKS!!!! LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    I just thought I would let whoever is considering buying SUSE LINUX
    8.0, or Linux in general, that they should save their money because it
    is a piece of crap.
    I purchased the professional version for $79.99 and it has turned out
    to be anything but professional.
    I have spent 3 days in a failed attempt at getting my geoforce video
    board to work because sax locks up the system solid each time I try to
    change the resolution to anything higher than 1024.
    My digital camera also does not work and the system seems very slow to
    me even on my 2.0 gig PC.

    I have wasted a lot of time with Linux and I can assure people it will
    never happen again because I will not be wasting any more money on
    linux. I can see why people are unwilling to pay for it because it
    really is a very poor, user unfriendly product.
    The applications look very ameaturish and block like and the overall
    look and feel of the entire system is very slow compared to Windows
    2000.

    I was in luck though because Best Buy gave me a full cash refund after
    the manager told me people return Linux all the time because they
    can't get it to work. That doesn't come as a surprise to me at all.

  24. Please Help Me Break the Cycle of Abuse by Quirk · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    OK! I've been seriously KarmaWhoring all day 'n got nada, nothing, zip. If my /. neurosis follows to form, yesh preciousss, then I should now turn to trolling in a fit of petulant co-dependency. So please mod me offtopic and troll, to boot, right now and I can just go out 'n get stoned in the sunshine and wallow in hurt self-absorption

    --
    "Academicians are more likely to share each other's toothbrush than each other's nomenclature."
    Cohen
  25. Required comment by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The Onion is not what it once was. As a kid from a small town an hour outside of Madison, WI, the Onion was a fun local paper to pick up in the bookstores. The online version has occasionally matched the humor but the wit and the familial way of it are gone. Last time I checked, they didn't even have a "Drunk of the Week" which was one of the best regular features. I could tell things were going rotten when they changed the pictures of the people in their "man on the street" opinion section (or whatever it's called) - the whole point of the pictures was to have the pictures be the same every fucking week ad infinitum, not the same every week for a certain number of weeks. When a satirical periodical doesn't even understand its own humor you can tell it has gone downhill.

    1. Re:Required comment by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Dude, the pictures are still the same every week. They just rotate the layout.

    2. Re:Required comment by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You didn't read what I wrote correctly. They use the same pictures every week but they're not the same pictures as the pictures they used to use as the same pictures every week. They killed the whole point of the joke.

    3. Re:Required comment by cyril3 · · Score: 1
      damn, i thought it was funny but now that i know they used to use other photos i reread this weeks issue and your right, it's not as funny. i'll never read it again.

      curse you for spoiling it for me.

    4. Re:Required comment by Buck2 · · Score: 1

      The new version of the same pictures every week has been there for at least three years now. Jesus Christ.

      --

      As my father lik@(munch munch)... ....
  26. Gilligan's Island.. those poor people by tapin · · Score: 4, Funny
    Some small American newspapers frequently fabricate offbeat news to trick people into noticing them, with the aim of making money.

    But surely they've had a chance to examine our historical documents?

    </SpaceQuest>

    1. Re:Gilligan's Island.. those poor people by MalachiConstant · · Score: 1

      Wasn't that Hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy?

    2. Re:Gilligan's Island.. those poor people by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You mean Galaxy Quest.

    3. Re:Gilligan's Island.. those poor people by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It was Galaxy Quest.
      HHGTTG didnt go into tv much.
      Space Quest was Sci-Fi parody concentraiting on fun ways to kill Roger Wilco.

  27. Big Surprise by quantaman · · Score: 5, Funny

    Sure the Beijing newspaper has a bit of a slant explaining the source of the story but honestly what did you expect them to write.

    "The story we published was copied word for word from an American on-line newspaper that is notorious for making up blatantly obviously fake stories for the purpose of humor."

    --
    I stole this Sig
    1. Re:Big Surprise by nobodyman · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Of course, then you would have to further explain the notion of parody, and then further explain that it is a device often used in the criticism of an idea or concept, and further explain that such criticism of government is in fact legal in the United States. As opposed to China, where criticism of government is often followed by a tank smooshing you.

      You think that the editor for the Beijing Evening News has the guts to sign off on that story?

    2. Re:Big Surprise by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Except the paper is completely correct. The onion may be about humour to its readers, but it is about making money to its owners.

      The only sleazy thing about the chinese newspaper is blatant palgarism. Only their utter stupidity caught them out.

    3. Re:Big Surprise by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      This sounds like an excerpt from Mark Salzman's "Iron and Silk", in which one of the author's students explains why, as a foreigner, he cannot be paid a small bounty for exterminating a rat:
      "the official statement concerning rats is that they have been stamped out. Only internal documents, which foreigners can't read, discuss the rat problem. Since you killed the rat, well, there's nothing to be done about that. But if they give you the reward, then an official disburser of State funds will have publicly confirmed to a foreign resident that rats do exist here. They might have been criticized...Of course, it is very silly. But the comrades in the office, like anyone else, would rather do something silly than stupid."
  28. The Onion making money by PhunkyOne · · Score: 2, Interesting
    Some small American newspapers frequently fabricate offbeat news to trick people into noticing them, with the aim of making money,' the paper said. 'This is what the Onion does.

    Oh yeah I am sure they make lots of money. I am sure people ripping of their stories without payment much less credit helps a ton. Piracy capital of the world - what a surprise. :P

  29. Cuz yr trying too hard. by mekkab · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    You gotta flow with it, feel the zen.

    Close your eyes. clear your mind. Hear that? That's the zen!

    Why, yes! Zen does sound a lot like a computer fan with the occaisional hard drive spin up! Where do you think the computer manufacturers got the idea from?

    --
    In the future, I would want to not be isolated from my friends in the Space Station.
  30. UFOs by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    At least there's still a chance to get a UFO on the New Mexico plates.

  31. Re:L?s Editions? by SEWilco · · Score: 1
    'L?s Editions Albert Ren?'
    "Les ?ditions Albert Ren?"
    "Just because you haven't figured out how to type an accented uppercase E..."

    Question marks are used for accents in the Redmondlian language, right?

  32. Sick Chinnese Propoganda by Tokerat · · Score: 1, Interesting

    Some small American newspapers frequently fabricate offbeat news to trick people into noticing them, with the aim of making money,' the paper said. 'This is what the Onion does.

    ...In case there where a few people left in China who thought Americans might not all be scumbags.

    Now they're using our own COMEDY against us. Some governments just HAVE to cause drama and conflict (ours included)... sick sick F**KING SICK.

    --
    CAn'T CompreHend SARcaSm?
    1. Re:Sick Chinnese Propoganda by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You spelled 'Chinese' wrong

  33. Re:Could it be? <-- RIGHT!!! by Big_Ass_Spork · · Score: -1
    adolf hitroll anal cocks anonymous cowrad anonymous pancake bank of amer ica atm big ass spork bigdogscock carp flounderson cheezydee clit cmder taco cmdr shithead cyborg monkey diaper tales donkeyhote drunked coward egg troll elcagado fecal troll matter forged forsh freshpondphil fucky the troll genghis troll handybundler hettb iagreewiththispost j0nkatz kl erck l0rdkariya limpdawg mao zedong metrollica mighty-troll mmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmm neal n bob on by pr0n king profane motherfucker ralph jewhater nader recipetroll returnofthe spork ringbarer robotroll rock 'n' troll s cript kiddie l33t serial troller sexual asspussy subject line troll tasty beef jerky the anime troll the lyrics guy the messenger the turd report the wipo troll things to do today trollaxor trollercoaster trolltime whi stler's mother yourmissionfortoday yr0 and all the AC's and people I forgo t to i&#9617nclude. and now a wo r&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617 d from our sponser: It has come to my atte ntion &#9618&#9619tha&#9608t the entire Lin &#9617&#9608&#9619&#9619&#9619&#9617 ux communi&#9618&#9618ty &#9618is a hotbed of so called 'altern&#9619&#9617a&#9619&#9617 t&#9617 ive s&#9617exu&#9617al &#9617&#9619 ity,' which&#9617 i&#9618&#9618 ncludes anything from hedoni stic org&#9608&#9618&#9619 i&#9608&#9618&#9608 &#9617&#9619 e&#9608 &#9618&#9608&#9618 s &#9617&#9619&#9617&#9617&#9617 &#9618&#9618t&#9617&#9619 o&#9608&#9618&#9608 &#9618&#9618&#9617&#9619 &#9619&#9617&#9618&#9608&#9618 &#9618 &#9617&#9619&#9618&#9608&#9618 homosexualit y to ped&#9618&#9608op&#9619&#9617 &#9617&#9619&#9617&#9619 h&#9608 &#9618&#9618 ili&#9617&#9608&#9619&#9619&#9619 &#9618&#9618 &#9617&#9619 &#9618&#9617 &#9617&#9617&#9618&#9608&#9608 a&#9619&#9617&#9618&#9618.&#9617&#9619 &#9608 W&#9618&#9618 hat better w ay of de&#9617&#9619mo&#9619&#9617 &#9617&#9619&#9617&#9619 n&#9608 &#9618&#9618 str&#9617&#9619 ati&#9618&#9618n&#9617&#9619 &#9619&#9617g t&#9618&#9619&#9608h &#9619&#9617&#9618&#9618 &#9617&#9619i&#9608s &#9618&#9618than by looki ng at th&#9617&#9619e &#9618&#9618 &#9618&#9618&#9617&#9619 h&#9608 &#9618&#9618 idd&#9617&#9619en m&#9618&#9618 &#9617&#9619 &#9618&#9618 &#9618&#9617&#9618&#9618&#9618&#9619 &#9619&#9617&#9618&#9618e&#9617&#9619s &#9617 &#9619&#9618 sages contai ned with&#9617&#9619i n&#9619&#9619&#9619 t&#9619&#9619&#9618&#9608 &#9618&#9618 he &#9617&#9619nam e&#9608&#9619&#9618&#9619s &#9619&#9619&#9619 &#9618&#9618 &#9619&#9618&#9619&#9617&#9618&#9618o &#9619 f&#9619&#9619&#9619&#9618 s ome of Lin ux's most outspoken advocates: * Linus Torvalds [micro&#9619so&#9618&#9617ft.c om] is a n anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to hims&#9618&#9619&#9619&#9618elf by the fir st initial. * Richard M. Stallman [geocities.com], spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad. * A lan Cox [microsoft.com] i s barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so fi lthy and unchristia&#9617&#9619n i&#9618&#9618t unnerves me. I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, comp oser of the satanic&#9617&#9619 h &#9618&#9618 o&#9617 mo&#9617 sexual &#9617 [goat&#9617 se.cx] propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and t&#9617&#9619he &#9618&#9618&#9618&#9608&#9618 &#9618&#9619&#9618&#9608 &#9618&#9608&#9618&#9619&#9618 &#9608 B&#9619&#9617&#9618&#9619&#9618&#9608 izarre, is probably an ana gram of something q&#9617&#9619ue &#9618&#9618&#9618&#9618 e&#9617 &#9617&#9608&#9617&#9618&#9618r &#9619,&#9608 b&#9619&#9617&#9619&#9618 ut we don't need to look tha t far as we know he&#9617&#9619's &#9618&#9618&#9618&#9618a &#9618&#9619&#9618&#9619&#9617 &#9618 &#9617&#9619 &#9608 l&#9619&#9617 &#9618&#9619&#9619 ways shoving a gun up some poor little boy's r&#9608&#9617 e&#9608&#9617&#9618&#9618 c&#9608 t&#9608&#9617&#9618&#9618 &#9617&#9619 &#9608 u&#9608&#9617&#9618&#9617m&#9618&#9618. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anag &#9617&#9608&#9608&#9608&#9618 &#9618&#9618 r&#9618&#9619&#9618&#9619&#9617 &#9618 &#9617&#9619 &#9618&#9608&#9619&#9619&#9617 &#9619&#9619&#9619 am for secondary rim and c ord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer. Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a n auseating piece of code called Fetchmail [microsoft.com], which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.' As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that f&#9617&#9617ilthy fudge-packer was actually quoted [salon.com] on leftist commie prop &#9617&#9618&#9618&#9618&#9617 &#9617 aganda site Salon.com as saying the following: ' I've been resistant t&#9617&#9618&#9618&#9619&#9608 &#9618&#9617&#9617&#9617 o the pressure to conform in any circumstance ,' he says. 'It's ab o&#9617&#9618&#9608&#9619&#9618 &#9619&#9619&#9618&#9617&#9617 ut being able to question conventional wisd om,' he asserts. 'I b &#9617&#9618&#9619&#9619&#9618&#9619 &#9618&#9619&#9619&#9618&#9617&#9617 elieve in love, but not monogamy,' he say s plainly. And this i&#9617&#9617&#9618&#9619&#9619 &#9619&#9619&#9619&#9619&#9619 &#9619&#9618&#9617 sn't a mad&#9617&#9617 e up troll bullshit either ! He actually stated t &#9617&#9617&#9618&#9619&#9618&#9619 &#9608&#9619&#9619&#9619&#9618&#9619 &#9618&#9617 his t&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9618 &#9617 ripe, which makes it obv ious that he is trying t &#9617&#9618&#9619&#9618&#9619 &#9619&#9619&#9618&#9618&#9618 &#9618&#9617 o poli&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9618 &#9617 tely say that he's a fl aming homo [comp-u-geek .n&#9617&#9618&#9619&#9618&#9619 &#9618&#9618&#9618&#9618&#9618&#9617 &#9617 et] sl&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9618 &#9618&#9617 ut [rotten.com]! Spea king about 'flaming,' wh o &#9617&#9618&#9619&#9618&#9619 &#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617 b&#9617 etter to&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9618&#9619 &#9617 point out as a filth y chutney ferret than Sla sh&#9617&#9618&#9618&#9618&#9619 &#9617 dot'&#9617&#9617&#9617 s ver&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9618 &#9618 y own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Althou g&#9617&#9617&#9618&#9619&#9618 &#9619&#9618 h an&#9617&#9617&#9617 o bvi&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9618 &#9617 ous deviant anagram cannot be found from his n &#9617&#9619&#9618&#9608&#9608&#9618 &#9619&#9618 ame,&#9617&#9617 h e h&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617 &#9618&#9617 as already confess ed, nay boasted of the homo s&#9619&#9608&#9608&#9619&#9618 &#9618&#9619&#9618 exu&#9617&#9617&#9617 al [&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617 &#9618&#9617 goatse.cx] pervers ion of corrupting the innoc e&#9619&#9608&#9608&#9618&#9618 &#9618&#9618&#9619&#9619&#9617 nc&#9617&#9617&#9617 e of&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617 &#9618&#9617 y oung children [ slashdot.org]. To quote fro m&#9619&#9608&#9608&#9618&#9618 &#9617&#9617&#9618&#9619&#9608&#9618 t &#9617&#9617&#9617 he a&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9618 &#9617 rticle linked:'I' ve got a rare kidney diseas e&#9618&#9608&#9608&#9618&#9618 &#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9618&#9608&#9618 ,'&#961 7&#9617&#9617&#9617 I t&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9618&#9618 &#9617 old her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lo t&#9618&#9619&#9619&#9618&#9617 &#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617 &#9619&#9619&#9617 .&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617 Y&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9618&#9618&#9618 ou can come with me if you want, but it take s&#9618&#9618&#9618&#9618&#9617 &#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617 &#9619&#9608&#9618 a &#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617 &#9617&#9618&#9618&#9618&#9617 while. Is that o kay with you? Do you want a &#9617&#9618&#9618&#9618&#9618 &#9617&#9617 n&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617 &#9619&#9619&#9617 o&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617 &#9617&#9618&#9619&#9619&#9617 te from my docto r?' Is this why you were t &#9617&#9618&#9617&#9618&#9618&#9617 &#9617 ouc&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617 &#9608&#9618 h&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617 &#9618&#9608&#9608&#9618 ing your penis [ rotten.com] in the cinema, J &#9619&#9617&#9618&#9618&#9617 &#9617&#9617 on? &#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9618 &#9619&#9617 &#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9618 &#9608&#9608&#9608&#9618&#9617 And letting th e other boys touch it too? &#9619&#9617&#9618&#9618&#9617&#9617 &#9617&#9617 We s&#9617&#9617&#9617 &#9617&#9618&#9608&#9619&#9617&#9617 &#9617&#9618&#9618&#9608&#9608&#9608 &#9619&#9617 hould also po int out that Jon Katz refer s&#9619&#9618&#9617&#9618&#9617 &#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617 t o &#9617&#9617&#9617 &#9617&#9618&#9619&#9608&#9618 &#9617&#9617&#9619&#9608&#9608 &#9608&#9608&#9608&#9617himself as 'S lashdot's resident Gasbag.' I&#9618&#9619&#9617&#9618&#9618 &#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617 s the&#9617&#9617 re&#9617&#9618&#9608&#9608&#9619 &#9608&#9619&#9619&#9619&#9608&#9619 &#9608&#9618 any more do ubt? For those fortunate few &#9617&#9608&#9617&#9617&#9618 &#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617 who a&#9617&#9617&#9617 re&#9617&#9617&#9618&#9619&#9608 &#9618&#9618&#9618&#9618&#9618 &#9619&#9608&#9618 n't aware of the list of homosexual [g o&#9619&#9608&#9617&#9618&#9618 &#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617 atse.&#9617&#9617&#9617 cx]&#9618&#9618&#9618&#9619&#9618 &#9617&#9617&#9618&#9618&#9618&#9619 &#9618 t erminol ogy found inside the Linux 'S &#9617&#9608&#9608&#9617&#9618 &#9618&#9617&#9617&#9617 auce Cod&#9617 e&#9617&#9617&#9619&#9618&#9618 &#9618&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9619 &#9618&#9619&#9608&#9618 ,' a 'Ga sbag' is a pervert who gains s &#9617&#9608&#9608&#9617&#9618&#9619 &#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617 exual &#9617&#9617&#9617&#9618&#9618&#9618 &#9618&#9618&#9618&#9618&#9617&#9618 &#9619&#9618&#9618&#9619&#9619&#9617 gratifi cation from having a thin stra w&#9617&#9608&#9608&#9617&#9617 &#9618&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617 i nser&#9617&#9618&#9618&#9618&#9618 &#9619&#9618&#9618&#9618&#9618 &#9618&#9618&#9618&#9618&#9619 &#9618&#9617ted int o his urethra (or to use the co m&#9617&#9619&#9608&#9617&#9617 &#9618&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9617 mon p&#9617&#9618&#9619&#9618&#9618 &#9617&#9617&#9617&#9618&#9618&#9618 &#9618&#9618&#9618&#9618&#9608&#9618 &#9617 arlan ce, 'piss-pipe'), then his homos ex&#9618&#9608&#9619&#9617&#9617&#9617 ual [goat&#9617&#9617&#9617 se.&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9618&#9618 &#9619&#9619&#9619&#9608&#9618 &#9617 cx]lo ver blows firmly down the straw to i&#9617&#9608&#9608&#9608&#9608 &#9608&#9619&#9619&#9618&#9617&#9617 &#9617&#9617&#9617 nflate&#9617&#9617&#9617&#9618&#9618 &#9619&#9618&#9618&#9618&#9619&#9618 his s crotum. This is, of course, when he 's&#9618&#9619&#9619&#9619&#9619 &#9619&#9618&#9617 n ot busy v io&#9617&#9617&#9618&#9618&#9619 &#9619&#9619&#9618&#9617 lati ng the dignity and copyright of poster s to Slashdot by gathe ri&#9617&#9617&#9618&#9618&#9618 &#9618&#9617 ng t ogether their postings and publishing them en masse to further h is&#9617&#9617&#9617 &#9617 twis ted and manipulative journalistic agenda. Sick, disgusting antic hristian pe rverts, the lot of them. In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'di stribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by f aggot groups. The Slackware [redhat.com] distro is named after the 'Slack-wea r' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermor e, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual [ goatse.cx] practice of anal fisting. The Mandrake [slackware.com] product is run by a group of French &#9618&#9618faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot ni ckname for the vibrator. &#9618&#9618It was al&#9617so cho&#9617sen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, &#9618&#9618whi &#9618&#9619&#9619&#9618 &#9619&#9617 &#9618&#9618 &#9619&#9618&#9619&#9617 ch is what they do. Another ' distro,' (abbrieviated as&#9618&#9618 suc&#9608h &#9608 &#9617&#9618 &#9608 &#9617&#9619&#9617&#9617&#9608 because it sounds a bit like ' Disco,' which is where ho&#9618&#9618mos&#9617&#9619e &#9619&#9617 &#9608 &#9619 &#9618&#9619&#9618&#9618&#9618 xuals [goatse.cx] preyed on yo ung boys in the 1970s), i&#9618&#9618s D &#9608 e&#9608 b&#9619&#9618&#9618 &#9617&#9619 i&#9618 an, [mandrake.com] an anagram of in a bed, which could &#9618&#9608&#9608&#9608&#9608 &#9617&#9619&#9619&#9617 b&#9617&#9608e c&#9618&#9619&#9619&#9617 &#9618&#9618 onsidered innocent enough ( after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray&#9618), until we realise what oth er names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis [rotten.com], glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term , ag&#9617&#9617&#9617ai &#9617 n found in the secret homosexual [go&#9617atse.cx] 'Sauce Co&#9617de,' refe rs &#9618&#9608&#9619&#9619&#9608&#9617 &#9619 to the solo h&#9608&#9608omosexual [goatse. &#9619&#9608&#9619&#9608&#9617cx] practice of &#9608defecatin g i&#9618&#9618nt&#9617&#9619o&#9617 a &#9617clear pol&#9617&#9618&#9618&#9617y t&#9617 hen&#9617 e bag, &#9617&#9619sha&#9608 pi&#9617 ng the tu&#9617 &#9608 r&#9617 d int o a&#9618&#9618&#9617&#9617&#9619&#9618 &#9608 c&#9608&#9618&#9608&#9619 rude a&#9618&#9617p&#9619 p&#9608&#9618&#9619&#9618 &#9608&#9618&#9619&#9618 roxima&#9608&#9618 tio&#9619&#9619&#9618&#9608 n&#9618&#9619&#9619&#9618 &#9619&#9619&#9618 &#9608 &#9619&#9617 of th e m&#9618&#9608&#9619&#9619&#9608&#9617 &#9608 &#9618&#9617 &#9617&#9619ale p h&#9608&#9617&#9617&#9608 a&#9608&#9617 ll&#9608&#9617 us, then &#9618&#9619&#9608&#9618 &#9619&#9617l&#9617&#9619e&#9608a &#9608 &#9619&#9617 v&#9608&#9608&#9618 ing it in&#9618&#9618 th&#9608e&#9608 &#9619&#9617f&#9617&#9619reeze &#9617&#9608&#9619&#9619&#9619&#9618 &#9617&#9619&#9608&#9618r&#9617 &#9608&#9618 over &#9617&#9617 ni&#9608 &#9619&#9617 &#9617&#9619&#9617&#9619gh&#9619 &#9619&#9617t &#9608&#9619&#9618 until it &#9618&#9618be&#9617&#9608c&#9608 &#9618&#9618 &#9618&#9619 omes &#9619&#9617s o&#9608 &#9618 l&#9608 &#9618id&#9608. The &#9617&#9608&#9617 p&#9608 &#9619&#9618 &#9618&#9618 &#9608 r&#9608 &#9619&#9617 a&#9608 &#9608&#9617 ctiti on &#9618&#9608&#9608&#9608&#9608&#9617 &#9608er&#9619&#9619&#9619&#9619 then &#9608pro &#9619&#9617&#9618&#9619&#9619&#9617 &#9618&#9619&#9619&#9617 ceeds &#9617&#9608&#9608&#9608&#9617 &#9619&#9619&#9619&#9619 t&#9617&#9619&#9619&#9617 &#9619&#9617 o&#9608 &#9617&#9608push t he frozen 'p&#9618&#9617o&#9617&#9618tato' up his own rectum, squeezing &#9619&#9617it in and out until his tight youn &#9617&#9619&#9619&#9619 &#9619&#9619&#9619&#9619&#9619&#9618g balls erupt i &#9618&#9619&#9619&#9619&#9619&#9619 n a sc&#9619&#9617reaming orgasm. And Re d Hat [debian.org] is secret homo [comp-u-geek.net] slang for the tip of a pe nis [rotten.com] that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage rin gpiece. The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, whic h is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Aut omount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other [comp-u-geek.net] automatically. The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainl

    Created with UAG v0.96 (c)on by 2002
    * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g g o / \ \ / \ o a \ a t `. : t s` \ s e \ / / \\\ -- \\ : e x \ \/ --~~ ~-- \ x * \ \-~ ~-\ * g \ \ .--------.___\ g o \ \// ((> \ o a \ . C ) ((> / a t /\ C )/ \ (> / t s / /\ C) (> / \ s e ( C__)\___/ // _/ / \ e x \ \\// (/ x * \ \) `---- --' * g \ \ / / g o / \ o a / \ \ a t / / \ t s / / \/\/ s e / e x x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *
  34. Nevada Nuke License Plates by unicron · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I live in Nevada, and we're pretty pissed we didn't get the plates. That's our history, it's who we are, and for someone to say it won't happen because it's offensive is like taking every test site worker that has ever put in an honest days work and pimp-slapping him.

    We put in 50 years+ with that site in our back yard. The U.S. winning WW2 started in Nevada at the test site. Hundreds of older workers now have cancer, others never made it this far.

    And for all the heart ache they tell us they're ashamed of what those workers accomplished. It's bullshit. For a massive final insult, they decide to store high level nuclear waste in our backyard. Their isn't a nuclear power plant in the entire state, yet we get to store it. None of our tests, mind you, have produced waste in more than 10 years, they're all subcritical(they stop just before achieving fusion).

    I don't work at the test site, either, but I do work in Las Vegas at a support site in the IT department.

    --
    Finally, math books without any of that base 6 crap in them.
    1. Re:Nevada Nuke License Plates by Martin+Blank · · Score: 4, Insightful

      The U.S. winning WW2 started in Nevada at the test site.

      Forgive me if I'm misunderstanding your reference, but wasn't most of the research done at Los Alamos, NM, the University of Chicago, and Oak Ridge, TN, with the first detonation at Trinity Site in New Mexico? I know a lot of later work was done in Nevada, and the primary underground test ranges were there, but I believe that was all post-WW2.

      --
      You can never go home again... but I guess you can shop there.
    2. Re:Nevada Nuke License Plates by DrSkwid · · Score: 0, Flamebait

      The U.S. winning WW2

      win?

      sorry, but I don't recall it being much of a game.

      It's disturbing that such an opinion should come from one of the people with continued responsibility.

      Why not have a picture of a grave or a burnt face or a cancerous lump?

      --
      There are places where the networks are not touching,and there are places where they are-Boeing's Lori Gunter
    3. Re:Nevada Nuke License Plates by unicron · · Score: 1

      I'm 22 years old, I didn't have much to do with WW2. And if you want to see a grave I suggest you go check out Arlington National Cemetary.

      --
      Finally, math books without any of that base 6 crap in them.
    4. Re:Nevada Nuke License Plates by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Celebrate your freedom by insulting those who preserved it for you. It's your right--enjoy it. I'd rather you have the continued right to insult those who died for your freedom than live under the bootheel of an Axis victory.

    5. Re:Nevada Nuke License Plates by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      (-999, Ignorant and Overrated)

    6. Re:Nevada Nuke License Plates by Hard_Code · · Score: 1, Troll

      You're pissed because a project which gave cancer to many workers (and unsuspecting civilians who were too close to test sites and unwarned), killed hundreds of thousands of people (some of whose decendants might actually be living in Nevada), and a technology whose refuse is now being dumped in your state, is not being commemorated by a license plate? If anything, I'd want the plates to be a mushroom with a big circle and cross over it.

      --

      It's 10 PM. Do you know if you're un-American?
    7. Re:Nevada Nuke License Plates by wadetemp · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Personally, I don't care where the thing was created. Bombs went off in Nevada and now we ship all our nuclear waste there. Real considerate of us. Nevadans (sp?) should be able to have whatever damned plates they want. :)

    8. Re:Nevada Nuke License Plates by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      I'm 22 years old

      and a virgin. Well, except for my ass.

    9. Re:Nevada Nuke License Plates by vegetablespork · · Score: 1

      I think a Mr. Yuk symbol, skull and crossbones, and a trefoil would make a nice, apropos Nevada plate.

      --

      Call (206) 338-5780 COLLECT for information about a genuine BA, BS, MA, MS, MBA, or Ph.D.

    10. Re:Nevada Nuke License Plates by Sloppy · · Score: 1

      The U.S. winning WW2 started in Nevada at the test site.

      Ah, you're changing the name of your state to New^Hvada?

      --
      As copyright owner of this comment, I authorize everyone to defeat any technological measure which limits access to it.
    11. Re:Nevada Nuke License Plates by thelaw · · Score: 2

      amen to that... we should give mad props to the nevadans for not trying to secede and join canada.

      jon

      --
      -- http://www.cerastes.org
    12. Re:Nevada Nuke License Plates by ealar+dlanvuli · · Score: 1

      If I tried to get canada to anex my property do you think they would?

      would they bring the ntnl guard and AP/Reuters to stop me? ^.^

      that might be fun

      --
      I live in a giant bucket.
    13. Re:Nevada Nuke License Plates by cosmo7 · · Score: 4, Funny

      I understand that the whole project was done in Manhattan, which seems pretty crazy.

    14. Re:Nevada Nuke License Plates by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What would you have preferred he said? "The U.S. forcing its enemies to surrender"? Or is there some proper politically-correct terminology for referring to the participants in a war and their ending states (surrender, destroyed, neither, etc) that I'm not aware of?

      While "winning" might not be a 100% accurate way to describe the USA's position after WWII, it's a hell of a lot simpler than some detailed discussion about how war sucks and we shouldn't be proud of helping to stop a really big war.

    15. Re:Nevada Nuke License Plates by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Informative

      you ignorant fucker the Russians won WWII,

      America just dropped a couple of bombs on a little island just below China

    16. Re:Nevada Nuke License Plates by alexjohns · · Score: 5, Informative
      The U.S. winning WW2 started in Nevada at the test site.

      Wow! Nice revisionist history. Maybe that's what they're teaching in school these days. Let's be clear: We didn't win World War II because of the atomic bomb. The Japanese were already negotiating their surrender before anyone outside Los Alamos knew about the bomb. Truman's whole cabinet was willing to accept their surrender except for his Secretary of State (can't remember his name - but it should live in infamy.)

      The Japanese's one condition was that they get to keep their monarchy intact. The SoS didn't want that, so we kept bombing the crap out of them and then popped a couple of atomic bombs. They surrendered unconditionally after that. Yeah, us winning WWII was really dependent on those two nukes. The firestorm that raged through Tokyo (which really got the Japanese to have second thoughts about this whole 'conquering the world' thing) was started by which one of the nukes? Oh yeah, that's right, conventional bombing did that. Tell me, I forget in my dotage, which cities in Germany did we nuke to win the war there?

      So, to sum up, Unicron doesn't have a pretty new license plate and the citizens of Washington, DC have no representatives in this country's legislature.

    17. Re:Nevada Nuke License Plates by volkris · · Score: 1

      Honestly, is there somewhere I could write and express my opinion of blocking this plate because of oversensitivity? I think this plate sounds great, and perhaps with enough people from and not from Nevada writing in criticizing the PR considerations would move the other way...

    18. Re:Nevada Nuke License Plates by LatJoor · · Score: 1

      You can't really say that any one country won World War 2, any more than you can say that a soccer player won the game because he scored the winning goal (to use a timely example). You could also say that Germany beat themselves by mishandling preparations for the invasion of Britain and launching the invasion of Russia before achieving victory on the western front. Hitler also started the whole war before Italy, his chief ally, was prepared for war. (They were exhausted from their role in the Spanish civil war.) The Russians fought long and hard against Hitler, and undoubtedly their struggle during the darkest days of 1942 to 1944 turned the tide of the war as much as the Battle of Britain.

      Of course, that's all the western theater. In the east, Russia did pretty much nothing, it was all the U.S. But then, the defeat of Japan came after the threat of Germany was vanquished. Lastly, the bomb did not win World War 2, it was just a way to end it without continuing to shed the allies' blood. Few questioned that the defeat of Japan was possible at that point, just that it would be costly. (By the way, negotiations with Stalin were underway for the USSR to participate in the invasion of Japan when the bomb went off, from what I can recall.)

    19. Re:Nevada Nuke License Plates by carlos_benj · · Score: 1



      I understand some states want a licence plate with a silhouette hanging by the neck under a tree branch and an optional burning cross because it's part of their history. Besides, isn't it a Nevada bureaucrat who made the decision?

      --

      --

      As a matter of fact, I am a lawyer. But I play an actor on TV.

    20. Re:Nevada Nuke License Plates by DysonSphere · · Score: 1

      Huh. Another person named Wade. Go figure. I thought Mr Boggs and I were the only ones.

      --
      Mommy. What's a karma whore?
    21. Re:Nevada Nuke License Plates by fatbastard10101 · · Score: 1

      The Empire of Japan still had a large and powerful land force in Manchuria in August 1945.

      Hiroshima bombed Aug 6 '45
      Red Army engages Imperial Army in Manchuria Aug 9 '45
      Nagasaki bombed Aug 9 '45
      Hirohito surrenders Aug 10 '45
      Red Army completes rout Aug 12 '45

      If you are going to assign a mercenary reason for nuking, perhaps a simpler one would be keeping the SovUnion out of Asia. If Japan surrendered to both the US and Soviets, then they get to split up the spoils (all of Asia). As it happened, the US got to decide the fates (for better or worse) of the "liberated" territories.

    22. Re:Nevada Nuke License Plates by LordNimon · · Score: 2

      Why don't you get a license plate with some other graphic, and then put a sticker of a mushroom cloud over it?

      --
      And the men who hold high places must be the ones who start
      To mold a new reality... closer to the heart
  35. Nevada Nuke Plates by dirkdidit · · Score: 1
    In 10,000 years, these plates will be mandatory
    Sadly if Yucca Mountain goes through and then fails sometime down the road, these plates might actually have some meaning besides all the nuclear testing that went on in the desert of Nevada. But then again the chance of something bad happening to Yucca Mountain are small. Right? I mean thats what the government has told me.
  36. Onion re-runs by cpeterso · · Score: 3


    I have been reading The Onion for about five years. It was funny at first, but then they started repeating stories!

    1. Re:Onion re-runs by Cowculator · · Score: 1

      You know, all it would take for you to sound like a troll or one of those people who like to whine at one of this site's occasional lapses would be a simple s/// command or two:

      "I have been reading Slashdot for about five years. It was interesting at first, but then they started repeating stories!"

    2. Re:Onion re-runs by crumley · · Score: 2

      Yep, I've been reading the Onion for over 10 years, and they do repeat themselves sometimes. Its hard to blame them though, just like its hard to blame Letterman for doing the same gags over. It ain't easy having to be funny.

      --
      Preventive War is like committing suicide for fear of death. - Otto Von Bismarck
  37. From the UCSD article... by jasno · · Score: 3, Insightful

    let you see through the crowds and undistinguished buildings to reveal nearby friends, potential colleagues, departments, labs, and interesting events. By making the clutter transparent and highlighting otherwise invisible things, the confusing bustle of the campus becomes more sensible and within reach.

    Wow, so instead of conversing with all those icky people(clutter) who aren't like me, I can ignore them and be instantly in touch with a community of like-minded(close minded?) people just like me.

    So, like the internet, this is a new way for subcultures to reinforce their ties to each other and keep people apart.

    --

    http://www.masturbateforpeace.com/
    1. Re:From the UCSD article... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Just about any technology can be used as a means for subcultures to reinforce ties and keep people apart.

      Why should the internet be any different?

      Idealism? ROFLMAO!

    2. Re:From the UCSD article... by swbrown · · Score: 1
      There's a 'promiscuous mode' you can enable that lets you disclose online status or online status and location to everyone rather than just your buddies. Then you become part of that clutter that can be interacted with. ;)

      It's the best way I could think of to implement such a system to allow for meeting strangers as well as meeting those in your subcommunity while still giving users full and total control over what information they want to publish about themselves and to who. Promiscuous mode is pretty popular. There's also a location-based 'graffiti' system (It's a _lot_ nicer now than in the screenshots in the paper) that anyone can post to and everyone can see which might introduce you to some different people to say the least. ;)

      If you've got some better ideas on how to do this, I'd like to hear them.

    3. Re:From the UCSD article... by jasno · · Score: 2

      Interesting...

      Now if you could use the graffiti mode to replace billboards and ads, like the way they do with major league baseball games, THAT would be cool :)

      --

      http://www.masturbateforpeace.com/
  38. People who zip divx.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    ...make me want to kick dogs....

    du -k tripping_divx_311.*
    34092 tripping_divx_311.avi
    33772 tripping_divx_311.zip

    1. Re:People who zip divx.... by Buck2 · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      Dude, you have problems.

      Dogs are no good for kicking. You should try little girls.

      --

      As my father lik@(munch munch)... ....
  39. The Chinese Knows What Satire Is, Believe Me by Wingie · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I should point out that, even thought most people would've already guessed/knew, Chinese media, even if privately owned etc., are under strict government regulation and what not. It's not like the editors of the newspaper or readers in China don't know that making fun of the government is a democratic step and that satire is fun, but it's that if they say so in a national newspaper heads will start rolling, literally, even if in the end that single sentence doesn't get publiched.

  40. Wow! by on+by · · Score: -1

    I got a +1,Funny (shortly followed by a -1,Offtopic - fucking Nazi!)

  41. Re:Trolling, Trolling Trolls by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    I'm trolling, trolling trolls. You feel the zen. I am the zen. ;)

  42. Les �ditions Albert Ren� by boa13 · · Score: 4, Funny

    That's the correct way to write it in French, even though I've noticed a tendancy in American products to put more accents on French words than there are in reality. Ah those Americans, always overdoing things. ;)

    1. Re:Les �ditions Albert Ren� by Hydrogenoid · · Score: 2, Funny

      Hmm... No....
      You shouldn't put an accent on a capital letter...
      But, alas, this particular mistake seems to be spreading a lot...
      *snif!*

    2. Re:Les �ditions Albert Ren� by idmillig · · Score: 1

      Of course, in French, you shouldn't use Title Case either, so the point is moot.

    3. Re:Les �ditions Albert Ren� by connorbd · · Score: 2

      I think there's actually a difference in practice depending on where you are in the world. I might have this backwards, but I think in France you don't, in Canada you do. That's one example.

      /Brian

    4. Re:Les �ditions Albert Ren� by boa13 · · Score: 1

      I was waiting for that... :)

      Ooh yes I should. But, alas, this particular misconception is anchored very deeply in the minds of French people that think they know something about typography.

      This "rule" (don't put accents on capital letters), like a few other people hopefully don't know, dates back to the beginning of typewriters, where it was very tedious if not impossible to do so. Same for early book printing machines.

      But I can show you several, hundred-years old books that have accents on French letters. And now that we all have computers, it's very easy to put accents on letters, so do it, as all typography manuals (well, the good, recent ones) tell you.

      Plus, it allows you to highlight X, which is better than MsWindows in this regard. Just type CapsLock, then the accented letter, then CapsLock again to input an accented capital letter. Oh, and just use AltGr+Z and AltGr+X to input French quotation marks.

    5. Re:Les �ditions Albert Ren� by boa13 · · Score: 1

      In this case, I think the case is correct. Albert and René are both firstnames, and so begin with an uppercase letter.

      Furthermore, book titles, movie titles, etc., use a capital letter on the first word that follows pronouns such as "les", "le", etc. So considering that this company name is some kind of title, I think I've got it right. :)

      Looking at Google quite confirms this.

    6. Re:Les �ditions Albert Ren� by Hydrogenoid · · Score: 1

      And, as far as I recall, Shakespeare wrote "damnéd", which does not mean you should... What was correct centuries before can be incorrect today, languages aren't static...

      Apart from that, being able to do something doesn't you should do so... (But, I just wanted to *try*, how could I know it might destroy the World? (Err... nevermind))

      And no, not *all* good typography manuals tell that the accents on capitals issue is clear...

    7. Re:Les �ditions Albert Ren� by Hydrogenoid · · Score: 1

      And moot points shouldn't be discussed?
      What's left, then?

    8. Re:Les �ditions Albert Ren� by boa13 · · Score: 1

      Well, putting accents onto capital letters is not going to end the world or to bring us back to olde times!

      Accented capitals are elegent, natural, friendly and cool. Those who support removal of accents are lazy bastard. ... This is what I learned during the past hour, surfing on the Net. Perhaps I didn't read the good texts? :)

      Anyway, I've put accented letters on capitals for more than seven years now, I like it, I won't change my ways. Why are there so many people out there to tell you of their True and Correct Way to Do Things? Typography is about the beauty of the text, and I find accented capitals much more beautiful.

  43. Onion-esque Upstart by TellarHK · · Score: 1, Offtopic
    Some friends and I are trying to get something akin to The Onion started up, but unlike them we'll take submissions from readers. Granted, we're not quite up to par with The Onion yet, but we don't have a great photo-doctoring budget or many writers yet. We try and put up at least one brief article every day or two, and have only been at it for around a week.

    I'm hoping people might be interested enough to check it out and possibly contribute. :)

    Domination News Network News for The Next Ruling Class(tm)

    1. Re:Onion-esque Upstart by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Good luck, if you could have a publication on par with the onion it would be good to see, but everyone who tries to copy the onion ends up with terribly unfunny material, bbspot is an excellent example of this. Judging from the quality of satire on slashdot, you won't get anything on par with the onion from here.

    2. Re:Onion-esque Upstart by ObviousGuy · · Score: 1

      Right on target.

      Segfault was around and doing the type of reader-submission humor that DNN guy is talking about, but it was mostly crap.

      There were some gems, though.

      --
      I have been pwned because my /. password was too easy to guess.
  44. Slackware Eclipse by boa13 · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Since we're all sharing eclipse photos, here's mine.

    The photo was taken using my great Canon PowerShot A40. The bluish shadow is due to a reflection inside the Slackware CD I was using as a filter. :)

    1. Re:Slackware Eclipse by martyn+s · · Score: 2

      I was just reading about eclipses and the myths and misconceptions about staring at the sun. A CD is NOT a good filter, in fact it will probably cause more harm than good, since it blocks visible light, which allows your pupils to open. Then your eyes are fully exposed to the UV and other wavelength light.

    2. Re:Slackware Eclipse by boa13 · · Score: 1

      I'll tell that to my camera.

  45. Solar Eclipse and the X-Files by kidlinux · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Is it just me, or does this picture look very similar to one of the opening shots from the X-Files, where what seems to be a spirit or alien form with arms outstretched depicts the "X".
    The same could be said for this picture but the lines are too narrow.

    --
    -kidlinux.
    1. Re:Solar Eclipse and the X-Files by akh · · Score: 1

      Looks like Burning Man to me

      --
      Accept Eris as your Fnord and personally sate her
  46. Re:L?s Editions? by Dahan · · Score: 2

    Dude, use a browser that doesn't suck. Mr. AC's accents are fine. I don't know what Redmondlian crap you're talking about--"é" is ISO standard.

  47. Re:Trolling, Trolling Trolls by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    Hey! I think I felt that!!

  48. Re:True Story! by handybundler · · Score: -1

    True St&#9618ry

    by handybundler

    * * * * *

    &#9618n a Friday after w&#9618rk CmdrTac&#9618 met J&#9618e at a bar f&#9618r a few drinks as has bec&#9618me the usual thing f&#9618r them t&#9618 d&#9618. (they then usually g&#9618 t&#9618 J&#9618e's flat and sh&#9618wer and then get d&#9618wn t&#9618 having sex f&#9618r m&#9618st &#9618f the weekend with him eventually leaving J&#9618e's place &#9618n M&#9618nday m&#9618rning t&#9618 g&#9618 t&#9618 w&#9618rk.)

    At the bar this particular Friday night J&#9618e had an &#9618ld friend fr&#9618m &#9618ut &#9618f t&#9618wn with him called Ken they were &#9618ld fuck buddies, he is in his early fifties like J&#9618e.

    (J&#9618e and CmdrTac&#9618 had wanted t&#9618 try a threes&#9618me and CmdrTac&#9618 had agreed t&#9618 try it with s&#9618me&#9618ne that they c&#9618uld trust and feel safe and discreet with and naturally disease free like J&#9618e and CmdrTac&#9618 are.)

    After a few drinks and talking Ken came acr&#9618ss as a very nice and funny guy and the evening pr&#9618ved t&#9618 be a really pleasant &#9618ne.

    Ken is ab&#9618ut 5'11 tall and was lean and fit l&#9618&#9618king and was pretty int&#9618 keeping fit and j&#9618gged a l&#9618t.

    After awhile they went t&#9618 dinner and the great evening c&#9618ntinued with them all having just en&#9618ugh t&#9618 drink making the evening funny but n&#9618b&#9618dy being drunk &#9618r trashed.

    After dinner they went t&#9618 J&#9618e's flat, they sat d&#9618wn and had an&#9618ther drink and started t&#9618 talk ab&#9618ut what t&#9618 d&#9618 next, J&#9618e suggested they put &#9618n a gay p&#9618rn&#9618 m&#9618vie and see where it led them, they all laughed but agreed. The m&#9618vie started with tw&#9618 guys wanking each &#9618ther &#9618ff, Ken suddenly st&#9618&#9618d up and dr&#9618pped his pants and under pants and CmdrTac&#9618 g&#9618t a l&#9618&#9618k at his c&#9618ck f&#9618r the first time, it was ab&#9618ut 7 inched like mine cut but very thick, after l&#9618&#9618king at it CmdrTac&#9618 g&#9618t really turned &#9618n, J&#9618e and CmdrTac&#9618 l&#9618st their pants very quickly as well.

    What happened next, y&#9618u ask? They sat &#9618n the c&#9618uch wanking and watching the m&#9618vie, suddenly CmdrTac&#9618 felt a hand t&#9618uching his c&#9618ck, it was Ken, CmdrTac&#9618 grabbed his c&#9618ck and they started t&#9618 jack each &#9618ther &#9618ff, the excitement was unbelievable their c&#9618cks were at full mast and J&#9618e watching them had his c&#9618ck standing t&#9618 attenti&#9618n while he wanked himself &#9618ff, after a while CmdrTac&#9618 reached &#9618ver with his right hand and started t&#9618 wank him as well.

    With the excitement in the r&#9618&#9618m rising and it being h&#9618t they s&#9618&#9618n were all sitting there stark naked jacking each &#9618ther &#9618ff, after a while Ken g&#9618t &#9618ff the c&#9618uch and g&#9618t &#9618n the fl&#9618&#9618r in fr&#9618nt &#9618f him CmdrTac&#9618 m&#9618ved myself &#9618nt&#9618 the edge &#9618f the c&#9618uch and Ken leant f&#9618rward and put his c&#9618ck in his m&#9618uth and started t&#9618 give him what CmdrTac&#9618 can describe as an incredible deep thr&#9618ating bl&#9618w j&#9618b, he als&#9618 pushed his legs back and pushed a finger in his n&#9618w exp&#9618sed anus.

    J&#9618e g&#9618t up and half st&#9618&#9618d &#9618n the c&#9618uch in fr&#9618nt &#9618f him and pushed his large mushr&#9618&#9618m head c&#9618ck t&#9618wards his m&#9618uth.

    There CmdrTac&#9618 was getting the ultimate d&#9618ne t&#9618 him, Ken m&#9618ved his m&#9618uth fr&#9618m his c&#9618ck t&#9618 his anus and was taking turns t&#9618 bl&#9618w his c&#9618ck and rimm his anus and fingering his anus while wanking him &#9618ff when he was rimming him.

    CmdrTac&#9618 was giving J&#9618e a deep bl&#9618w j&#9618b which CmdrTac&#9618 kn&#9618w he l&#9618ves CmdrTac&#9618 knew he was cl&#9618se as CmdrTac&#9618 felt his c&#9618ck expanding in his m&#9618uth and his gr&#9618ans increased, when Ken heard this he d&#9618ubled his eff&#9618rts &#9618n his c&#9618ck and was pumping his fingers in and &#9618ut &#9618f his anus, J&#9618e suddenly blew his l&#9618ad d&#9618wn his thr&#9618at and started t&#9618 fuck his m&#9618uth, CmdrTac&#9618 als&#9618 suddenly blew his l&#9618ad and Ken just kept at it sucking his c&#9618ck and swall&#9618wing all his cum, J&#9618e c&#9618llapsed next t&#9618 him spent and c&#9618vered in sweat, CmdrTac&#9618 just lay there while Ken put his testicles in his m&#9618uth and kept him m&#9618aning.

    After s&#9618me time Ken leant f&#9618rward and started t&#9618 suck his c&#9618ck which g&#9618t hard pretty quickly, they ended up &#9618n the fl&#9618&#9618r in the sixty nine p&#9618siti&#9618n with him &#9618n t&#9618p, CmdrTac&#9618 was determined t&#9618 give Ken the pleasure that he had given him.

    CmdrTac&#9618 g&#9618t his legs under his armpits which als&#9618 gave him access t&#9618 his anus with his t&#9618ngue and CmdrTac&#9618 started t&#9618 rimm his anus while als&#9618 taking turns t&#9618 suck his c&#9618ck.

    CmdrTac&#9618 felt s&#9618mething c&#9618ld t&#9618uch his anus and l&#9618&#9618ked behind him and saw J&#9618e leaning f&#9618rward with a tube &#9618f KY in his hand and he was using it t&#9618 lube his anus, he had a red ribbed c&#9618nd&#9618m already &#9618n his c&#9618ck and it l&#9618&#9618ked t&#9618 als&#9618 have l&#9618ts &#9618f KY &#9618n it, CmdrTac&#9618 enj&#9618y being fucked with a ribbed c&#9618nd&#9618m as it adds t&#9618 the pleasure.

    J&#9618e g&#9618t behind him and rubbed his c&#9618ck up and d&#9618wn his ass crack teasing him all this time Ken was sucking his c&#9618ck, CmdrTac&#9618 suddenly felt J&#9618e's c&#9618ck head pushing against his anal entrance meeting resistance then after a few sec&#9618nds his c&#9618ck entered him and slid all eight inches right t&#9618 the hilt. (As CmdrTac&#9618 have menti&#9618ned in a previ&#9618us st&#9618ry J&#9618e's c&#9618ck is big ab&#9618ut eight inches and he has a huge mushr&#9618&#9618m head &#9618n his c&#9618ck which t&#9618tally fills him and it has taken a while t&#9618 get used t&#9618 it)

    J&#9618e started t&#9618 deep fuck him at a steady rhythm the pleasure CmdrTac&#9618 was getting was unbelievable with his ass being pumped and his c&#9618ck being sucked and him having his t&#9618ngue w&#9618rking &#9618n Kens anus and c&#9618ck what c&#9618uld be better.

    CmdrTac&#9618 felt Kens c&#9618ck start t&#9618 expand m&#9618re and by the m&#9618ans CmdrTac&#9618 c&#9618uld tell he was cl&#9618se, CmdrTac&#9618 pushed a finger int&#9618 his anus and started t&#9618 finger fuck him while sucking his c&#9618ck.

    Ken seemed t&#9618 d&#9618uble the eff&#9618rt &#9618n his c&#9618ck and then he expl&#9618ded in his m&#9618uth CmdrTac&#9618 just swall&#9618wed his cum and he seemed t&#9618 cum f&#9618rever and it tasted great Ken was the first &#9618ther guys cum that CmdrTac&#9618 had tasted after J&#9618e and CmdrTac&#9618 really liked the taste.

    J&#9618e was fucking him at a rapid pace and CmdrTac&#9618 was cl&#9618se t&#9618 bl&#9618wing his l&#9618ad in Kens m&#9618uth and CmdrTac&#9618 was cl&#9618se t&#9618 c&#9618llapsing then CmdrTac&#9618 felt myself begin t&#9618 cum d&#9618wn Kens thr&#9618at CmdrTac&#9618 held &#9618ut as l&#9618ng as p&#9618ssible but eventually his legs gave way and CmdrTac&#9618 dr&#9618pped &#9618n t&#9618p &#9618f Ken with J&#9618e c&#9618ntinuing t&#9618 fuck him, he c&#9618ntinued t&#9618 fuck him f&#9618r ab&#9618ut ten minutes then suddenly pulled his c&#9618ck &#9618ut &#9618f his anus and pulled the c&#9618nd&#9618m &#9618ff and wanked his cum all &#9618ver him and Ken.

    CmdrTac&#9618 have never felt s&#9618 shagged &#9618ut in his life, they just lay &#9618n the fl&#9618&#9618r f&#9618r ab&#9618ut half an h&#9618ur in abs&#9618lute exhausti&#9618n. That was the start what was t&#9618 bec&#9618me an amazing weekend &#9618f sex.

    --


    a/s/l here. Sorry, adding domain tags to your s
  49. hello from lima ohio by manual_overide · · Score: 1

    Some small American newspapers frequently fabricate offbeat news to trick people into noticing them, with the aim of making money,' the paper said. 'This is what the Onion does. The Lima News or The Daily Standard ??? (anyone from that area of Ohio will know what i'm talking about)

    --
    If bad puns were like deli meat, this would be the wurst
  50. Tripping the Rift? Ugh... by Blondie-Wan · · Score: 2, Insightful

    I saw the original short on Sci-Fi's Exposure series. Of the various shorts featured in that episode, Tripping the Rift was easily the most puerile, insulting, and just plain stupid segment. It was a lot like the kinds of coarse, inept parody stories my friends and I would devise as 12-year-old geeks back in junior high, only much worse. It's pathetic and sad that this, of all things, would get picked up for a series when there are surely many far more deserving shows.

    1. Re:Tripping the Rift? Ugh... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And your masterpiece is due out when, maestro???

    2. Re:Tripping the Rift? Ugh... by cryptochrome · · Score: 2

      Well what do you expect? There are tons of high-quality SciFi anime already made and relatively cheap, yet all they've picked up are a handful of movies. I mean if SF doesn't show Serial Experiments Lain, who will?

      --

      ---If you can't trust a nerd, who can you trust?

  51. Good eclipse pictures by Sokie · · Score: 2

    Some of the math and physics teachers at my school got together and took some pictures through telescopes with real solar filters of the eclipse. They are pretty good, you can see sunspots and stuff.

    --
    ------
    Where are the slash-groupies? I distinctly remember being promised slash-groupies!
  52. Talk about the pot calling the kettle... by Qwerpafw · · Score: 2, Insightful
    'Some small American newspapers frequently fabricate offbeat news to trick people into noticing them, with the aim of making money,' the paper said. 'This is what the Onion does.'"
    "As opposed to how some small Chinese newspapers frequently print patently false stories without investigating them in order to trick people into noticing them, with the aim of making political propaganda. This is what the Beijing Evening news does."

    Okay, so maybe 1 million in circulation is not a 'small newspaper.' Then again, china has how many people in it?

    And we *should* cut these people some slack. After all, they live in a country where supporters of a religion can be executed, and where criminals serve as involuntary organ donors.
    1. Re:Talk about the pot calling the kettle... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      where criminals serve as involuntary organ donors

      Seeing as they've already been shot through the head when their organs are harvested I don't think voluntary/involuntary comes into play here.

      Mind you I've heard that some weren't quite to the clearing at the end of the path when they were sliced and diced but seeing as I'm not Chinese and don't live there I can't get real worked up about it.

  53. Ixian by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Bahh! I thought Frank Herbert has something to do with it. For goodness sake, if you've ever heard of the Dune Universe, then you would know that Ix has something to do with a race of tech people.

  54. Jesus - not again by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Don't you guys know how to spell? I'ts bizillion, not bazillion.

  55. Ixian? we talking about Dune? by Emugamer · · Score: 2

    is it just me or were any other of you expecting to see something about Dune?

    1. Re:Ixian? we talking about Dune? by Vardamir · · Score: 1

      Actually, I was too. ;)

    2. Re:Ixian? we talking about Dune? by Seetee · · Score: 1

      Me three.

      --
      I've learned all I know about politics from /. and I still do not care one bit (or byte).
    3. Re:Ixian? we talking about Dune? by Minkey+Brines · · Score: 1

      Me four.

  56. Re:Could it be? <-- RIGHT!!! by Buck2 · · Score: 0, Troll

    This is awesome.

    I feel like a virgin again.

    Thank you Big_Ass_Spork, can I have another?

    --

    As my father lik@(munch munch)... ....
  57. Tripping the software . . . by npsimons · · Score: 0, Redundant

    (scene of operating system "Windows", the captain "Luser" is attempting to make a ships log)
    LUSER: Captain's log stardate 2246. We've finished our quest to deliver anti-virus software to the
    (interrupted)
    MICROSOFT PROGRAMMER: Excuse me, who are you talking to?
    L: Well, the ship's log.
    MP: Oh. It's broken.
    L: Well, why don't you fix it?
    MP: Because I'm busy fixing the pixellating intuitive freon database.
    L: And what does that do?
    MP: It makes it user-friendly!
    L: You mean to tell me, that off all the sh*t that's broken in this operating system, you're fixing the f*cking GUI?!
    MP: Now you listen to me you short purple dung-heap. I'm the operating system's programmer and I decide what gets fixed first. If you don't like it you can go screw yourself.
    L: That's it! Come here! I've had just about enough of you, you've had this coming for a long time!
    (LUSER then proceeds to beat MICROSOFT PROGRAMMER senseless.)
    L: Now fix this f*cking operating system!

    (with apologies to Chris Moeller and Chuck Austen)

  58. Copying? by hackwrench · · Score: 1

    They don't quite seem to grasp the concept of satire though.

    On Fox News they said the exact same sentence

    Can't remember if more of what they said is the same though. I need a PVR so I can go back and sheck these things.

  59. Hate to burst your bubble, but... by transient · · Score: 1

    Sorry for the offtopic post, but I just couldn't resist. This is an HP-UX box, btw. And yes, it's real.

    12:33am up 920 days, 11:24, 3 users, load average: 0.02, 0.04, 0.04

    --

    irb(main):001:0>
    1. Re:Hate to burst your bubble, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Given your user count and load average, that's not at all surprising. My win2k box could do exactly this with that amount of activity.

    2. Re:Hate to burst your bubble, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Have a closer look at the timestamp there, buckaroo. People generally log off and go home at 5.

  60. french names by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    as if it matters how we spell french names. jeez, they'd be goose stepping to deutschland uber alles if it wasn't for us. but hey i only know three french phrases:

    1- oiu
    2- chapeau
    3- we surrender. and here's all our jews

    rob mandel

  61. St00pid G00ks... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ...fooled by The Onion heh

  62. Ixianism by TastySiliconWafers · · Score: 1

    I saw the word "Ixianism" in the title and immediately thought of Frank Herbert's Dune series. But, alas, no mention in the article of such wonders as no-ships, remote controlled Laza tigers, shigawire, lasguns, and the Royal Cart of the God Emperor. No melange, no Tlielaxu axlotl tanks, no Honored Matres, no sandtrout, no semuta music, no Bene Gesserit witches. How disappointing...

  63. Lima News!!! by Arrian · · Score: 1

    Actually in that area of Ohio, the small town newspapers need to manufacture stories to get any interesting local news :)

    Gotta go with the Lima news. Growing up in St. Marys I thought of that as the Big City newspaper some people would get, and the Dayton Daily News was up there with the Wall Street Journal.

    As an aside, I wonder how many people reading that know the proper pronunciation of Lima, or Russia or Versailles?

    1. Re:Lima News!!! by VaxRat · · Score: 1

      I've always been somewhat embarassed to come from an area where they steal place names from all over the world and then mangle the hell out of them. It's an ok place to grow up, but I was damned glad to move on.

  64. Translation of beijing evening new article by gargle · · Score: 3, Informative

    Following on my translation of the original beijing evening news article, I now translate the apology:

    On June 3rd, we reported that members of the US Congress were pressing for construction of a brand-new Capitol, complete with a retractable dome and luxury boxes, in order to stay competitive.

    Our reporter in Washington checked out the story, he discovered that some of its contents were identical to the Onion's joke article.

    Some small American newspapers frequently fabricate offbeat news to trick people into noticing them, with the aim of making money. This is what the Onion does. According to congressional workers, the Onion is a publication that never ceases making up false reports.

    This is a practice that we, fortunately, do not suffer from China. In China, newspapers are not allowed to make up all sorts of wild stories about our dear leaders. We were therefore caught off guard.

    We are open to our readers' criticism, and we apologize.

  65. Tripping the Rift by bitsformoney · · Score: 1

    Hold it, I know these characters from one of those movie clips that get passed around by email and that are supposedly made by some bored artists at a CG studio during lunchtime. Rumour also has it that South Park started this way. (You can see the "original" at ifilm.com.) Should it be that this is a second example of a joke becoming actual mainstream entertainment?

    --
    This comment is printed on 100% recycled electrons.
    1. Re:Tripping the Rift by WebMasterJoe · · Score: 2
      Rumour also has it that South Park started this way.

      It's true - South Park was originally titled "The Spirit of Christmas" and was an electronic Christmas card - actually a 51 meg video (which was huge back in the day) transferred from VHS. Some high-up executive from Fox asked those two guys to create an animated Christmas card, and he gave them a big chunk of money - they were as cheap as possible on production and blew the rest on beer (and probably pot, but that's just my speculation). The construction-paper animation, constant profanity by eight-year-olds, combined with the epic Jesus v. Santa fight made it a huge hit on the web. I remember getting it off the network at RPI back in early 97. There was a version with Frosty in it too, but that one was the first draft and they got rid of him - guess it wasn't offensive enough.

      I tried to find it on ifilm but the link was broken. Still, a search for "soxmas" should pull something up.

      --
      I really hate signatures, but go to my website.
    2. Re:Tripping the Rift by npsimons · · Score: 1
      Should it be that this is a second example of a joke becoming actual mainstream entertainment?


      I always thought that mainstream entertainment was a joke - much like popular culture is an oxymoron.

  66. Re:L?s Editions? by PhilHibbs · · Score: 1
    Mr. AC's accents are fine.
    He should be using &Eacute; and &eacute; really.
  67. If those Beijing people will believe that story by morhoj · · Score: 1

    Maybe they should run this Onion story in an Afghani paper...

  68. Re:At least Beijing Evening News got ONE thing rig by mithras+the+prophet · · Score: 1

    That 'Evil Genius Gates Drops Windows 98 Into NYC Water Supply' story was funny, but after September 11, it has a much deeper tone of sadness and fright. Talk about an evil genius watching televised terror gleefully, with a beautiful nighttime photo of the Twin Towers in the center of the article... it just made me sad.

    --
    four nine eighteen twenty-7 thirty-nine forty-7 fiftyeight sixty-nine seventy-9 eighty-8 one-hundred-and-nine one-twenty
  69. Re:L?s Editions? by absurd_spork · · Score: 2

    Actually, in this case it is MySQL not grokking Unicode correctly.

  70. You are one to talk about revisionist history! by ionpro · · Score: 3, Informative

    As the documents show at http://www.ibiblio.org/pha/war.term/093_03.html, the Japanese were NOT willing to surrender prior to the atomic explosions. While they were half-heartedly persuing peace through Soviet negotiations, it was known that Americans were accepting surrenders through the Swiss, as is customary is wars of such scale. The Japanese correspondance with the Soviets was for a seperate peace, thereby ensuring that they would only face a war from the Pacific side of their country. Remember, the Soviets only declared war on the Japanese on August 7th, 1945 -- ONE day before the bomb was dropped on Nagasaki and days AFTER the bomb was dropped on Hiroshima. Prior to that date, Americans had been unable to use Soviet territory for aerial bombing of Japan, and instead used carriers and captured islands as their primary Japanese staging areas.

    The Japanese never surrendered unconditionally. They were <i>still</i> allowed to keep their Emperor as a figurehead leader, much like the British Constitutional Monarchy, <i>as a condition of their final surrender</i>!. Prior to August 6th, the Japanese had said they would never surrender; a long and drawn-out invasion of the Japanese mainland was called for, probably resulting in heavy casulties on both sides. As it was, Hiroshima and Nagasaki were the prime navy/army (forget which is which) bases left in Japan that had not been firebombed out of existance. Thus, they were valid military targets. Less lives were lost in both the atomic explosions then in the firebombing of Tokyo.

    So, yes, victory in Japan was dependant upon those two nukes, or perhaps an invasion of Japanese territory. Did you know there were still Japanese who had not surrendered in the Philipeans until sometime after 1960? A Japanese officer had continued raids on Americans in the Philipeans until sometime during the Kennedy administration. Once the Japanese start a war, they try <b>very</b> hard to finish it in their favor.

    1. Re:You are one to talk about revisionist history! by alexjohns · · Score: 3, Informative
      First, the comment I was replying to said that we won WWII because of the bomb. Germany surrendered in May, we didn't drop the bomb until August. So for all of June and July, we were concentrating on beating the crap out of the Japanese. We'd been bombing them continously since November 1944. If there was no Atomic Bomb, we were still beating them so badly that by the end of 1945 we would have run out of targets to bomb. We would have been relegated to bombing individual homes if they hadn't surrendered.

      On July 27th, 1945, with the Potsdam Proclamation, we told the Japanese to surrender unconditionally. The Japanese considered their emperor a god. There were high level talks between Truman's cabinet and the Japanese cabinet about the surrender. J. F. Byrnes (looked it up this time), Truman's Secretary of State insisted that we not accept Japan's surrender with the condition that they keep their emperor.

      On the 6th of August, we dropped the bomb on Hiroshima. On the 9th, Russia invaded Manchuria at the same time we dropped the bomb on Nagasaki. Up until this point, Russia and Japan had been neutral and Japan had been trying to negotiate a conditional surrender through the Russians.

      For the next 4 days, the Japanese Cabinet debated whether to surrender. It required a unanimous vote to do so and the 'hawks' weren't having any of it. On the 14th, Emperor Hirohito himself told the cabinet to accept the surrender. This was after he'd learned, through diplomatic channels, that 'unconditional surrender' didn't mean the same thing to us as it did to the Japanese. The Japanese were afraid it meant that we might execute the emperor or put him on trial for war crimes. We told them it actually meant we didn't care if they kept the emperor, as long as there was a democratically elected government. The cabinet voted to surrender then and the head of the War Department committed hara-kiri the day after.

      The fact is that the Japanese did accept our terms for surrender and that it was 'unconditional', but there was an understanding that it didn't mean they had to get rid of the emperor. We can debate endlessly about what would have happened if we hadn't used nukes or if we'd dropped the 'unconditional surrender' or even if Russia had decided to switch sides or if we'd allowed Patton to roll the tanks and take on Russia like he wanted to.

      Getting back to the original point, we didn't win WWII because of the atomic bomb. It helped decide when exactly the end was going to be, but without the backroom - 'yeah, we said unconditional, but we don't really care' - the Japanese would have fought on for quite some time. And I know we're looking back on it with 20/20 hindsight, but a diplomatic ending to the war could have been achieved much earlier, except for the fact that everyone was looking for a military solution. And there was the revenge factor for Pearl Harbor.

      There's our history lesson for the day. Your inane comment about a few Japanese idiots in the Philippines has no bearing. I grew up in Georgia and to this day there's numbnuts down there who have rebel flags and vow 'the South's going to rise again.' The fact that some people are unable to accept defeat and move on with their lives says nothing about the Japanese (or American) people as a whole.

    2. Re:You are one to talk about revisionist history! by hawk · · Score: 2
      >And I know we're looking back on it with 20/20
      >hindsight, but a diplomatic ending to the
      > war could have been achieved much earlier,


      uhh, yeah. In fact, that was an option on December 8, 1941--and the one that the Japanese were *planning on* when they attacked . . . the attack was an attempt to keep us out of the war, not to get us in it . . .


      hawk

    3. Re:You are one to talk about revisionist history! by flafish · · Score: 1

      First off, I take it you never have seen the defence plants from WWII in person in Japan. The Japanese were very prepared to fight on if we had invaded their main island. Until we had US troops on the islands we didn't know where all of their factories were. In 1966 I saw first-hand some of the tunnels and structures that had never been hit during the war. Look in the Tokyo area for a base called Camp Zama. The area located in the hills had smokestacks that you couldn't even see from the air. The last soldier from WWII surrendered in the early 70's not because he couldn't but because he had orders to fight on to death. It took orders from his superior for him to surrender.

  71. Re:L?s Editions? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    pi qu'est-ce que t'en sais?

  72. These Moderators can suck it. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The reason why the above zen master was voted into negativity?

    They are jealous of his grasp of zen.
    That is why there should be a new moderation:( -1, I wish I had written that)

  73. Even Better by sgtsanity · · Score: 1

    "Microsoft Creates Proprietary, OS-Specific Version of Ones & Zeros.

  74. Suggestion: by kubrick · · Score: 1

    Turn down the brightness on your monitor. :)

    --
    deus does not exist but if he does
  75. Wireless glasses by Brummund · · Score: 1

    Cool application: Use the technology for finding friends, various places etc., hook it up with a GPS/map software to be able to find other things not connected via 802.11, and connect it to a pair of glasses with a superimposed LCD display or whatever.

    Now add a direction bar and a length display to the display on the glasses. (For example, the height of the waypoint marker could be a distance indicator. Or a 3D-cube could be displayed to indicate an objects position and size.) It should also be able to display names over objects connected via the 802.11 network.

    Wooo. I'd buy one. :-)

  76. Re:At least Beijing Evening News got ONE thing rig by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Sweet jesus, you whiny little crybaby, grow a fucking brain, then go invest in a spine.

  77. MOD THIS UP by gdyas · · Score: 2

    Hear Hear, this is more real history than the post this guy was responding to.

    May I add that nobody wanted to use a nuke, least of all Truman, but allied analysts recognized that there was no way the war was going to end for good without displacement of the Emperor, that before the atom bomb strikes the Japanese were adamant about not displacing the Emperor they revered as a god in any way, and even if a halt to hostilities was mediated they'd strike back again soon to recover lands & honor. In the classic 1970's miniseries "The World At War" Japanese ex-military leaders from the time explain in exact terms that they and the Emperor's government were trying to get a pause in the fighting from Russia and/or the US in order to regroup & counterattack. It was only after the Hiroshima hit that the Emperor met with his subordinates and started to talk about stepping down from supreme leadership. The historical record shows that it WAS the bomb that ended that war right then & there.

    We had to alter the regime in Japan to insure a lasting peace with the country. Leaving the Emperor with power would have been too dangerous and could have resulted in a pacific war redux. It was war dammit, a dirty business and a far cry from what we're calling "war" today. I'm a pretty liberal guy, but pretending we commited some damned atrocity by dropping that bomb is an insult to the multitudes of men killed by the Japanese in that war. You think dropping the bomb was beyond the pale? Try beheading men en-masse who fucking surrendered to you because your culture tells you men who surrender don't deserve their lives. Try working men to death. Try torture for kicks. Try dragging out every single battle needlessly by fighting to the last fucking man even when you know you're beat. All these things the Japanese did, and each one is as horrendous as dropping those bombs.

    BTW, there's no better source of WWII history on film than the miniseries The World at War. 24 hour-long episodes that kick anything on the History Channel's ass.

    --

    The only tool you've got against psychosis is experience.

  78. A nuke plate would look good on my door by cryptochrome · · Score: 2

    Look on the plus side - if you DID get those nuke plates, I can guarantee you wouldn't have them for long before some activist pulled them off your car, or some kid stole it to put on his wall.

    --

    ---If you can't trust a nerd, who can you trust?

  79. Location, location, location by npsimons · · Score: 1
    The U.S. winning WW2 started in Nevada at the test site.


    . . .


    The Japanese were already negotiating their surrender before anyone outside Los Alamos knew about the bomb.


    Not to mention the fact that Los Alamos is in New Mexico, not Nevada.

  80. that's not quite right. . . . by hawk · · Score: 2
    In the U.S., I am free to mock the government without being shot.


    In China, people are also free to mock the U.S. government without being shot . . .


    :)


    hawk

    1. Re:that's not quite right. . . . by Joe+Mucchiello · · Score: 1

      Yakov Smirnoff (remember him?) use to tell the same joke about Russia in 80s.

    2. Re:that's not quite right. . . . by hawk · · Score: 2
      but it wasn't quite original with him, either. There's a (much) early version placed at Checkpoint Charlie, with the american and the east german arguing. Behind them are pictures of the current president and the current dictator. The american boasts, "I am free to do *this*", and turned around and spat on the president's picture. "So am I," replies the commie, and turns around and spits on the president's picture.


      It's pre-Yakov, but I can't imagine it predating facism/nazism by much (at least as a western joke).


      hawk, knower of obscure things

    3. Re:that's not quite right. . . . by markmoss · · Score: 2

      I'd be surprised if that doesn't pre-date Checkpoint Charlie in some form, with Hitler's picture or even the Kaiser's instead of Stalin. (However, I'm not sure Americans would have been that disrespectful before Franklin D. Roosevelt - aside from the South's attitude towards Lincoln and the Reconstruction Republicans. But a lot of rich and important Americans were just about that hostile towards FDR...)

      But it apparently became quite OK for Russians to mock their government well before the end of communism, probably even before 1980. I don't know if that was because zeal turned to cynicism right up to the top, or if it was because they figured out something good American military leaders learned a very long time ago - let 'em gripe, it's a substitute for rather than a preparation for action.

  81. ahem. by hawk · · Score: 2
    When we secede, why would we want to adopt yet another central government?


    hawk, Nevadan in exile

  82. Re:L?s Editions? by SEWilco · · Score: 1

    My browser is fine when real characters are used. Your '"é" is ISO standard' displayed fine. Thank you for using the standards.

  83. Nevada may nix the plate... by User+956 · · Score: 1

    But that won't prevent President Bush from saying "Nuke-u-ler", instead of the proper "Nuclear".

    --
    The theory of relativity doesn't work right in Arkansas.
  84. Tripping the Rift SCI FI series by User+956 · · Score: 1

    And they deserve it...

    --
    The theory of relativity doesn't work right in Arkansas.
  85. Re:L?s Editions? by PhilHibbs · · Score: 1
    pi qu'est-ce que t'en sais?
    Um, I'm having difficulty with that - I think you're saying "what do you know?" or "how would you know?", but I can't find out what "pi" means.