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Superhero Smackdown
Paul writes "Fox News is running a story that asks one of the best geek questions of our generation: who win if Superman and Batman fought one another?. The last this topic was big was during the Spider-Man/AOTC rush in May. I distinctly remember a particular essay that compared Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, any Jedi (particularly Yoda), and James Bond." Obviously the author didn't read DK2 ;) And I put my money on Deadpool, if only because his quips are better.
Obviously, unless Batman has some kryptonite stashed in his utility belt, he's thoroughly F'd if he messes with the Man of Steel.
/. editors ever read any comic books? Batman is a normal guy. He just has a fancy suit and a lot of gadgets and training. It's no contest.
Have the
Duh.
You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!
Batman wins through guile, then spares Superman's life. Film at eleven.
This desire to see bloodshed between our heroes is obviously human nature, take the popularity of MTV's Celebrity Deathmatch.
So why haven't we seen more things like exhibitional wrestling matches between Paul Allen, Steve Ballmer, and Bill Gates?
Or ESR and RMS?
Have you been stalked by Seth today?
Spur of the moment drunken brawl: Superman, no question.
Planned event: Batman, hands down.
(unless theyre limited to their bare hands)
Always bet on the sneaky pragmatic bastard.
All Troll + "offtopic" mods are meta moderated as "Unfair", because you abused the system.
One question does come to mind, since they both always "fought evil", which one is going to turn to make this possible.
Even more fun would be Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles vs. Power Rangers, or Pokemon vs. Dragon Ball Z. Why does everything have to be a boxing match, I want to see an all out brawl!
Ignore the "p2p is theft" trolls, they're just uninformed
Of course. Batman is just a talented schizophrenic drunk millionaire with an adopted boy good at solving riddles. Hell, Superman wouldn't even need to do anything, Batman would probably off himself.
Ahhhh! How could you people forget one of the best - Inspector Gadget!
given sufficient stem-cell research
Superman by a mile... Batman is a highly skilled human, while Superman is a endowed with superhuman strength, speed, intelligence, etc...
Now, Superman vs the Flash, who would win that race?
"TK-421, why aren't you at your post?"
BATMAN: THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS
Batman kicked Supermnan's ass with the help of a biomech suit and some kryptonite. Doesn't matter how he did it, the result was still the same.
I want real world cage matches.
I want to see Henry Rollins and Danzig get it on.
Rollins would be intellectualizing his moves blow by blow. He would enter the ring babbling in low tones about the state of human relationships and work himself up into a screaming rage while inflating his neck like some iguana on steroids.
Danzig would be continually wiping the runny makeup out of his eyes as he started to sweat. Singing about how his mother could bang better heads than Hank.
That would be entertainment.
Puto
The Revolution Will Not Be Televised
Jon Katz owned the Spider-Man vs. AOTC debate. I'd bet his take on this one would make a good read. Anyone know what became of him?
Karma: Good (despite my invention of the Karma: sig)
Winner: Spongebob Squarepants
Batman would win, without a doubt. Not only is he sneaky as hell, he prepares for everything. As soon as he heard about Superman, he probably started planning on what to do with him, just in case. And he's got the money to back it up. Superman is cool and all, but he's a farmboy hick at heart. He would just charge straight in, get caught by something that would slow him down and get his jaw broken with Batman's krytonite brass knuckles.
SealBeater
-- Its survival of the fittest...and we got the fucking guns!!!
Yeah, but Batman'd be bright enough (and rich enough) to stock a good supply of kryptonite.
Plus, Superman draws his powers from the yellow rays of the sun - and is useless at night. At least thats how it used to be in the comic. He also originally couldn't fly - just jump really high (tall buildings in a single bound).
Superman's a clod. He just brute forces everything, he has no technique or skill or intelligence.
Just watch Justice League. Batman, Martian Manhunter, Green Lantern and the Flash will be ducking and dodging attacks left and right, then coming up with some innovative method to take out the enemy.
Superman and Wonder Woman just take it head on and get plowed through a concrete wall, then get up and get smashed again, until they finally prevail.
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
in trying to keep from bastardizing comics. they want to usher in a new era of bite sized cameos and team-ups? man, it's like a shitty aniversary issue or something. As far as batman v superman goes, I distinctly remember batman taking a swing at superman after robin got killed off. he just about broke his hand. come on, it's a no-contest, although as rich as he is, batman could probably reduce superman to living in a cardboard box under a bridge. I'm glad they were smart enough to can that idea.
predator versus aliens, however is an idea that people are actually looking forward to. I think ever since predator 2, where there was an alien skull on display, people have been dying to watch the two races go at it.
and I just don't know about the freddy v. jason thing. I know it's been being kicked around for 10 years or so, unless someone hatches a good plot for it, there's going to be no point in it. it'd just be a race to see who can find people having sex first and then wax them.
The World's Worst Webcomic!
..Groo vs Aeon Flux.
Far back in the mists of time, or sixteen years ago if you're being less poetic, I was a DM'ing my first set of D&D games. I created the Eruvia continent for the setting, and populated it with various goodies, nasties and a chief baddy - The King.
The King was a stunningly powerful lych, and it soon became clear that if this guy drifted in to the game, the balance of power was ended. Put simply - the King was too strong, and ruined all the games because players went up against him and just instanteneously died.
I'm not deeply into comics, but Superman seems to be that character to me. In Superman they've created a superhero who is just too strong to be beaten.
I fixed my game world by arranging for the King to die courtesy of some unspecified magic tool. The games became interesting again. Similarly, I was encouraged a while ago that Superman was to be killed off, but apparently they've wimped out of that and brought him back to life.
I suppose then my pick would be Superman. But it's not a pick I make with any great enthusiasm. It's an unbalanced character.
Cheers,
Ian
I don't know, but I do know that a average run of the mill star destroyer will kick the Enterprise's ass!
Next up : "Who's better Santa Clause or Jesus ?"
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
That's a very well written article that links to a number of great AvP resources out there. Of course, it fails to go where this subject has already been delved:
;)
Comic Books.
Aliens versus Predator was originally (IIRC) a short in Dark Horse Presents, that was spun off into its own comic. The first series was great - it was about a group of humans who colonized a Predator 'Hunt' planet unbeknownst to the Predators, so when the Predators seeded the planet with Alien eggs they got more than they bargained for (of course, it's more complex than that). There have been a number of other comics (and books) in the same vein, all of them with their good points and bad points.
But one can't speak of comic crossovers without speaking of Batman v. Predator, Aliens v. Predator v. Terminator, Superman v. Aliens - not to mention the various Marvel and DC comics that are about pitting one superhero against another (X-Men and Batman are just versus of the week). The list is virtually endless. It's a lot cheaper to make a comic than a movie, but I think most of these ideas have real merit.
I really, really hope AvP is made into a movie - it's already had two great and successful video games. Of course, we'd have to wait until it came out on DVD to see it
-lw
Mods: Disagreeing with me != my post Offtopic / Flamebait.
World without hate or war, invaded. Tragic?
MacGyver vs Walker Texas Ranger!
That would be one hell of a fight! GoooOOOO MacGyveeeeer!
Enig? Det alt for hot det smor!
Here are the stats . :(
Now, we all know Batman would win. He's got a big ol' kryptonite medallion, that Superman gave him himself, to use in case he was ever controlled by sume supervillain. Along with a speech about how Batman was the only person he would trust with it. I read that comic, but can't find the reference for the life of me
It's generally considered fact that if Batman had enough time to plan, he could defeat God.
Superman would be trivial. Clark/Superman = strong as an ox, dumb as a stump.
MacGyver always wins! ...provided he can whip up some kryptonite from what happens to be lying around...
This desire to see bloodshed between our heroes is obviously human nature, take the popularity of MTV's Celebrity Deathmatch.
Or of Nintendo's Super Smash Bros. Melee.
I'm just waiting for Super Smash Bros. 3: Nintendo vs Sega, or Nintendo vs Capcom, or (better yet) Nintendo vs Disney. Mario could tear apart Mickey Mouse, but I'm not all too sure Kinopio could beat Pinocchio.
Will I retire or break 10K?
Of course the best fighter would obviously be an Alien spawned from a Predator! Hmmm, wonder if I can copyright this idea...
That already happened in one of Dark Horse's Predator Vs. Aliens comics. The Alien was pretty bad ass. Interestingly enough, it seemed that the Predators view this as a particularly vile abomination. Spoiler: It took both a tough human marine (last of the human team) and a Predator (last of his hunting party) to take down the Alien. Interesting the theory that two warlike races can work together against a common threat.
P.S. That's a movie I would give a lot to have input and/or see.
SealBeater
-- Its survival of the fittest...and we got the fucking guns!!!
"Batman vs. Superman" is set to be a movie in '04. It's right here folks!
It's being directed by Wolfgang Petersen.
It's being made by Warner Brothers so it's a mystery why Fox is asking the question and not Warner Brothers. Maybe Fox is asking FOR Warner Brothers and the top moderated scenarios that you folks are giving will be used.
Taco, you in on this?
So in other words, if the fight is in a Batman comic, Batman is going to win. If it's in one of Superman's, Superman is going to win. If it's in a combination, there can never be an absolute winner.
I hope that helps.
"If the good lord had intended us to walk, he wouldn't have invented roller skates." -Willy Wonka
Batman did kick supermans ass but he was wearing a biomechanical suit and had some kryptonite.
Now, if it was a nude grecko roman wrestling match, If superman didn't just kill him outright, he could
a) light his balls on fire with his heat vision.
b) break every bone in his body and then grind him into a flesh colored paste.
c) fly him into out space and enjoy watching the effects of an absolute vacuum.
d) Imagine the scene in Snatch when the parkie puches out gorgeous george? Not imagine if georges head popped off...
e) superman could scoop up a bunch of rock, melt it into a ball, make a cavity in the ball, knock out batman, put him into the ball, seal the ball and then either throw it into the sun or slam it into the moon...
Needless to say, without his technology, batman would be screwed....
Yes Francis, the world has gone crazy.
Batman thought he was bad
He was a fucking asshole in the first place
He got knocked to the floor
I wupped batman's ass!
I wupped batman's ass!
I wupped batman's ass!
Superman thought he was bad
He was messing with my girlfriend
I caught him in my room kissing her
I took a rubber hose and flogged his rump
I whipped Superman's ass (repeat 4 times)
Wesley Willis Song Generator
"And how can this be? For he is the
The four superheros mentioned recently have had a resurgence in both the skill of their writers and the depth of their stories. Here are, I think, the great books with these characters. All are still available at your local comic shop:
Superman: For All Seasons (Jeph Loeb)
Batman: Year One (Miller), Dark Knight Returns (Miller), The Killing Joke (Moore), Officer Down (Rucka), Bruce Wayne Fugitive:Murderer (Rucka).
Spider-Man: A Day in the Life (Jenkins), anything by J.Michael Strazinski (from Babylon5. yes, he writes spiderman).
Deadpool: The current Agent X storyline, The Circle Chase or any trade paperback you can find. This guy is harder to find.
Turns out that they SHELVED the idea.. Sorry folks...
They had a lot of problems to put Batman in Justice League of America, because he doesn't have any super powers
The new Batman definitely has much more agility than the average human being; that alone makes him hero material. He can even fly. Add gadgets from Q^HWayne Enterprises, and how isn't Batman a superhero?
Will I retire or break 10K?
Who would win?
George Reeves Superman
Christopher Reeves Superman
Keanu Reeves Superman
Vrs
Adam West Batman
Val Kilmer Batman
Micheal Keaton Batman
Ever read the essay by (I think it was) Larry Niven called (I think it was) "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex". It examines, among other things, the physics of passion and explains why Superman and Lois would never be able to consummate their relationship. Worth a read.
--Jim
Oh lord, I am sorry I used my modpoints. That is too funny.
Just out of curiousity, what would "Steamboat Willie's" special moves be?
To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt.
--E.C. Stanton
...you should never, ever bring up in a geek forum:
Spider-Man versus Wolverine
Superman versus Hulk
Thanos versus everybody
The Joker versus Hostess Fruit Pies
CowboyNeal versus Grodd the Gorilla
They're both good guys, why do we want to kick the crap out of each other? I'd be more interested in watching Megatron and Optimus Prime go at it (fighting, I don't know how the other interpretation would work with Transformers) than Duke and Lady Jane or something.
F-bacher
James Tiberius Kirk: "Spock, the women on your planet are logical. No other planet in the galaxy can make that claim."
Any speculation on who would win depends on which of the comic stories/storylines they draw from. For example, in one crossover, Batman kept a single Kryptonite bullet in a vault "just in case." I don't think it was ever explained exactly how he would fire and manage to hit Superman ;)
/could/ have been thrown out there, where they both kill each other. Regardless, a viewer wouldn't know which ending they were going to be seeing until they finally went and saw it, and it would be an incentive to see the film twice (at another theater) to see the alternate ending. This approach is similar to the way Clue was released in theaters, although it was not known ahead of time. Imagine the movie discussions that took place, each person having seen a different ending and thinking the other was full of crap!
Beyond that, Superman's powers would have to be exceptionally weak for Batman to win in any modern comic adaptation. The situation would have to be engineered so that Superman's powers were reduced--perhaps through a weakening of the sun's rays, and the two heroes would have to have some reason for fighting, perhaps thinking the other had gone crazy through a series of elaborate framings by one of the criminal organizations.
It could be a really interesting story, but it would have to be done extremely carefully.
As an aside, I recall a long time ago when the Freddy vs. Jason movies were all the talk of the BBSs when the idea of multiple endings was thrown around. The idea was that each theater would be given one of two possible endings to the conflict, where each of the villains was the victor. Of course, a third
Let's compare the two:
Superman: Clean-cut country boy in the big city, small town values, all round good guy, always fight's fair.
Batman: Traumatic child hood, watch his parents get killed, grew up in a corporate world where it is dog eat dog to survive, does what ever is needed to win, thinks out of the box.
Superman see Batman as another super hero good guy, thinks he could use a hug.
Batman on the other hand looks at Superman as competition, and would look for weak spots to exploit for his own personal gain. Of course he would know all about Kryptonite and the means to get it.
Batman would have a natural upper hand on Superman, based on his background.
Wise men speak because they have something to say, Fools because they have to say something!!!!
Superman's real "weaknesses" are his morals. Sure he is all-powerful, but he is also strictly confined within his own rules. Defined purely by his own boundaries he has become a predictable, pliable tool.
Batman's weakness is clearly physical and his boundaries seem to be imposed upon him by nature. However he will do whatever is necessary to break and bend these shortcomings. Can't fly? Get a batwing. No heat-ray eyes? Use lasers. As such Batman's real limit is his ingenuity.
So who would win? Unstoppable but self-restraining force vs. struggling, but limitless potential.
It really seems to be a foregone conclusion.
I am a Karma Library.
Oooooh! That's a toughy. Man, I can't pick a winner from that one no matter how much I think about it. Thanks a lot...
I personally have not read the comics concerned, but had discussions of this with a friend who is an avid comic collector/reader. He said that whenever Batman has battled Superman in the comics, Batman usually comes out on top due to his cleverness and possession of a bit of kyptonite.
Batman is unique that he does not have super powers, but is a razer honed human in terms of his abilities, and has many very cool gadgets for any situation that may arise. He might not be able to fly at will, shoot lasers out of his eyes, move like lightening, or be able to manipulate the physics forces around him, but he's one clever, *determined* bastard. When I think of revenge in the justice sense, Batman is the image that comes to mind. He is a dark, human superhero that fights for very human reasons.
"What can a thoughtful man hope for mankind on Earth, given the experience of the past million years? Nothing." -Bokonon
Let's say that Batman and Superman were thrown in a ring to fight, and they were both motivated to win(Robin dies if Batman loses Lois dies if Superman loses). So, the first thing Batman does is take off the kid gloves and goes at Superman with everything he's got. Superman wastes cycles thinking of how to save Lois and Robin without killing Batman. Batman figures this out too, but he does it while he's kicking Superman's ass.
The classic confrontation between Superman and Batman was IMHO when in the Man of Steel miniseries where Battman puts up a force field around himself and tells Superman that if he penetrates the forcefield, a bomb that Batman has planted on some person in the city will detonate. Superman leaves Batman alone. There really was a bomb, and it was planted on Batman. Batman figured Superman could tell if he were lying, so he created the scenario where he wouldn't have to lie, or put someone else at risk, but he could still thwart Superman.
My money's on Martian Manhunter if the battle's underwater.
My other sig is extremely clever...
Who would win if anti-lock brakes fought redhat 8.0?
RedHat, provided it had enough prep time to write the necessary drivers.
If Batman had superman's powers, he wouldn't wear the blue leotard; he'd wear kryptonite proof armour.
Superman needs a belt to keep his underpants up forcryingoutloud. And they're outside his trousers.
I am a Karma Library.
Batman realizes his weaknesses, and those of his enemies. He then exploits these weaknesses. Superman is the man of steel; he is almost invincible, but he does have a weakness. Batman would find and exploit it. I think that's why I've always enjoyed Batman more; he actually has to use his head.
Why should I argue rationally with someone being irrational? I'll just mock them instead.
The "lego guy" is actually an indication that the game is Marvel v. Capcom 2, which is hands down one of the best 2D fighting games ever. Do yourself a favor and play it a few times.
It hurts when I pee.
Here's a tip for all you virginal geeks out there... this is a pretty fun bar discussion. Good at getting geeky chicks to talk without having to resort to discussion IO speeds vs seek rates of SCSI vs. IDE.
Batman's just a rich crazy guy with gadgets, but he excels at analyzing his enemies and finding their weaknesses. Superman is nearly invincible, but he's easy to bait and has an Achilles heel.
Since Batman isn't rich he doesn't have to worry about the price of Kryptonite on the black market.
Why should I argue rationally with someone being irrational? I'll just mock them instead.
God, I can't believe how many of you geeks manage to horribly mangle the plot of "The Dark Knight Returns". You must write for hollywood. I'm not even a damn fanboy, and I can synopsize the battle more accurrately.
Batman plans ahead and is prepared while big dopey Superman comes blundering in to take B into custody because the powers that be say he's a "bad boy".
Batman gives S a dose of the K, smacks him around with some missles while he's weakened, and generally beats him until he cries like a little girl. They point that out in the story that Batman wants Superman to know that he got his ass kicked, and by whom.
Then, having already thought through the scenario, B knows that even if he wins, that the world has changed, and he can't operate openly anymore. So he has a chemical concotion, that he thought up with his big brain, that puts him in a coma.
Superman thinks he's killed B, and cries again. Batman sculks off to continue to use his big brain to fight evil from the shadows.
Basicly, Batman wins because he's a big smarty-man, but then throws the fight. In the bigger picture, they're both victims of circumstance, and have to comprimise to survive in the world.
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
The LEGO guy youe thinking is probably the Thing from the Fantastic Four. Thus, a Marvel character.
Somebody fill me in on this...
The contradiction to the Super-Jedi argument would be Superman's apprent inability to save falling Statues of Liberty by manipulation of the Force.
I haven't read any comics in years, and it's been even longer since I read a Superman book (probably back to his "death")... Anyone care to shed some light?
sig.
To keep it ontopic, imagine I ranted about how the news industry is now nothing but another form of entertainment, and how horrible it is that stuff like this is actually competing with real stories like the failure of the Bush Administration to accomplish regime change in Afghanistan.
Even with a batbelt full 'o kryptonite, all Superman has to do is plow into Batman at near-light speed. Batman is instantly pulverized, and Superman is momentarily weakened by the kryptonite.
But Superman *wouldn't* do that, that's why he loses.
My God, it's Full of Source!
OUTSIDE_IP=$(dig +short my.ip @outsideip.net)
It has to be Superman, since Batman could only win using Cryptonite. And Cryptonite, alas, is only available in Bagdad, where not even Bruce "Inspectorman" Wayne has access.
This scenario has already been done.
Batman: Dark Knight Returns
Yes, Superman is the man of steel, but with planning, resources and a little help from an old friend (who happens to have a bit of a grudge against Superman) Batman kicks his little blue schoolboy ass. Not to mention that Batman happens to be 70 years old at the time.
It's a great read!
Amazon link
I hate my sig.
Its from Capcom - the LEGO guy is a SERVbot from the Megaman Legends games - and the Misadventures of Tronne Bonne - Tronne's in that game too, I think. The LEGO guys are her servants.
Considering its already happened at least once, in the book 'The Dark Knight Returns' a 50ish Batman defeats a 50ish Superman.
Superman is not a good fighter, he just flies in and smashes, relying on his powers to defeat anything in his way.
Batman, who has no real powers except for being really tough has to use his brains and skills that he has learned in his life time. Batman has WayneTech to give him all his little toys such as little green rocks that Superman can't stand.
Forever live the fighters!
In Dark Knight, by Frank Miller, Batman kicked Superman's ass big time. Then, in JLA, R'as Al'Ghul (correct sp?) stole batman's profiles of the JLA with the ways of neutralizing each of them, and proceeded to swiftly remove them from the picture (for Batman he stole his parent's bodies, and he went nuts). In short: Batman will beat anyone you care to throw at him (well, he may have some trouble with Lobo, if only because he is more Bugs Bunny like in that he takes a lickin' and keeps a' kickin)
--
Overcaffeinated. Angry geeks.
Whoa. Batman DID Superman? What kind of sick comics have you been reading? Definitely not for the kiddies.
Yoda...the other green meat.
On a side note, remember "Disloyalty is the Greatest Sin Of All, Little Wooden Boy!" (para-quoted from "The Tick", who would bumble into kicking all their asses)
Did I mention that I agree with the guy that said Drunken Brawl = Superman, Planned event = Batman
While we're wondering about this, can I just step in and ask: how many angels will fit on the head of a pin?
(-1, Raw and Uncut is the only way to read)
It's probably been done before, but imagine Kal-El dropping down on Earth, but in Nazi Germany, not the U.S. Nazis train him to become their supersoldier, their ubermann.
In the U.S., Bruce Wayne is a major contributor the war effort, and does his Batman thing. When he hears of the this "superman" laying waste to many of his finest weapons supplied to the Allied effort, he does a little research and takes on this new menace, personally.
Now THAT would be an interesting Batman/Superman story, hero and antihero, and without Superman's current morality limitations. Nazi Supes would crush Batman without a second thought unless Batman was very, very careful.
Vos teneo officium eram periculosus ut vos recipero is.
> If you take the majority of enemies that Superman has fought and placed Batman in his place
Lex Luthor? Batman would buy him out and put him to work in the mailroom.
Solomon Grundy, Bizarro Superman, Apocolypse
vs
Dr Friese, Poison Ivy, Catwoman, Bain, Clayface, Croc
That'd probably be more interesting than Superman vs Batman
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
Yes, I know you're trying to be funny.
I'm bored. Sue me.
Batman/Bruce Wayne doesn't drink. He's a billionare, and Dick Greyson was not adopted in the comic book until about 3 months ago, and he's in no way a "boy" anymore, being a grown man in his early 20's.
http://quiz.ravenblack.net/blood.pl?3357354385
"I bet I'll get blamed for this." --Mayor Quimby
He's Hella Tough
Mr. T vs Everything
The Superman/Batman thing has been done at least three times in the comics I read as a kid, it's old now.
It's the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles / Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers Drunken Wedding Reception Brawl Super Special #1 that *I'm* looking forward to...
It's Christmas everyday with BitTorrent.
They stole this story from last weekend's Twinkin' out with Red Mage (a weekly article on Nuklear Power). A fabulous online comic with the most amazing art....
The Right Reverend K. Reid Wightman,
I predict Barney would go medieval on his ass...
The best part of the comic was when Batman had to face up to the JLA after the attacks and got his ass kicked out of the group. Batman explained he made the files in case the group was taken over mentally like had happened before. Showed that knowledge, planning and a lot of cunning could take down or neutralize any superpower.
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. - Anais Nin
Do I give a shit what two comic labels are crossing over characters, Selling two editions of the book in varied-ink chromium covers ?
Okay, so Superman and Batman are both DC.. still a psuedo-applicable quote though.
Oh come on people, there's no contest at all. The one person who can kick anyone's ass is Mr. T.
And I quote:
Mr. T: [in answer to a youngster who wanted to know who was tougher, Mr. T or Batman]
Mr. T is tougher. Batman would never go into the 'hood. Mr. T will go into the 'hood.
End of story. There's also the classic "Mr. T vs. Superman" but it's not up anymore. In any event, Mr. T can kick pretty much anyone's ass.
When you have nothing left to burn you must set yourself on fire
Batman attacked him because Supes was selling out all the other superheros. They were basically outlawed and The Man of Squeal granted all kinds of concessions to the goverment to save his own ass.
If you can get them read The Dark Knight Returns and the Dark Knight Strikes Again by Frank Miller.
TDKR is what basically put comics back on the map and into the Movies.
Ursula Andress, Catherine Deneuve, and Charo, twice...
Jesus vs Moses!
No, no. Jesus vs Buddha!
Higher Logics: where programming meets science.
One is a rich dork in real life and his alter ego is the cool superhero.
The other one is a cool superhero naturally, but his alter ego is a dork.
Yeah, tough to see which one the Slashdot crowd would pick.
My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.
It wasn't just the biomech suit, it was the fact that Superman was at ground zero during a thermonuclear explosion. Batman even tested Superman early in the fight to see if Superman had been weakened, and he had. Also the explosion darkened the skys limiting Superman's abilities since his powers are derived from sunlight.
Oh? What about Batman vs Predator, or Aliens vs Superman?
Both of those have already been officially published! BvP,
AvS
Interesting pair off. As long as Sadam doesn't stumble upon Bush's weakness... Pretzels. :)
I am a Karma Library.
Jason will have to be asleep during the whole movie.
(+1 Funny) only if I laugh out loud.
I think the original poster has a valid point. And while your point is mostly true, the Celebrity Deathmatch team has gone after 'real' heroes.
Obviously hero is based on perspective, but in the ring has been Ghandi, Moses, Shakespeare, Abe Lincoln, George Washington, Ulysses S. Grant and/or Robert E. Lee (a hero to the south i suppose)
Also, lets look at a quote from Fight Club:
-Malakai
A Dragon Lives in my Garage
Oddly, if actually read the original comics, it turns out that Superman was superior to humans in all respects- not just strength, speed, and morality, but intelligence too. Usually the authors forgot to make him smart, otherwise there wouldn't even be the illusion that the villians were challenging him.
If you look just at the ability to create cool gizmos (supposedly one of Batman's strengths), you'll see that Superman has him beat there, too. For instance, Superman has created self-aware robots with the same durability and flying power as himself. When Batman tried the same stunt, robo-batman couldn't even climb down a ladder right. (Although it did manage to interrupt a few crimes, just by looking menacing. This was in the episode where Batman had 'the bends' from an unplanned scuba trip and couldn't leave his lair)
The same goes for "Jesus Christ" too... not that I have ever seen a depiction that shows him as non-white. Also, Jews didn't have names like we do now, so what is the deal with "Jesus Christ?"
It's an americanisation of a greek-ified Hebrew name...the original is closer to "yeshwa," simmliar to Joshua.
Alien vs. Predator is the only interesting one.
I like Batman, so I'd go see that one. Heck, I even went to see that one with Mr. Freeze in it. I'd go see Freddy vs. Jason becuase, well, because there isn't a whole lot to do in this town. But you are right...a properly done AvP would rule them all.
Thomas Galvin
Havent read all other posts, but i remember a while back that the movie "batman vs superman" or whatever is already confirmed
Open Source Java Web Forum with LDAP authentication
Freud's sex addiction notwithstanding, the real point I wanted to make is that it's purely ludicrous to attempt to turn every use of otherwise innocent language into a sexual reference - as the individual did to whom I was replying. The word "endowed" is by no means strictly associated with sex or sexual organs and was clearly not used in any such sense in the post that originated this silly thread.
DFL
Never send a human to do a machine's job.
What about Nintendo characters? Is it the fat guy from Ice Hockey or the L-shape from Tetris?
http://snoot.org/toys/wuss/vg/
I too am/was a big fan of the "Merc with a Mouth." I am not really sure what's up with him though. They killed him and then changed my subscription to "Agent X." It seems the lead character may be the same guy, but does anyone know why the change was made?
I believe you're actually referring to "The Dark Knight Returns" by Frank Miller. It's a really interesting view of Batman, and as far as I know is the comic book (er, graphic novel) that influenced the modern portrayals of a dark and brooding Batman (as opposed to the Adam West Batman TV series).
Also see this comment for a link to this book at Amazon, or use this link to check it out at Barnes & Noble.
...one of the best geek questions of our generation: who win if Superman and Batman...
"Our" generation's grammar SUCKS!!!
Emacs: for people who just never know when to
The Tick vs. The Incredible Hulk.
The loser: Anyone in the area who happens to own a tall building.
The winner: The local building/road construction unions.
Good judgment comes from experience.
Experience comes from bad judgment.
Why not throw some anime supers into the mix...
I'd love to see any of these VS any of the western supers
Jubei (Ninja Scroll)
Major Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in a Shell)
Tetsuo (Akira)
D (Vampire Hunter D)
I think Tetsuo could probably toast everyone except Superman....Though I would love to see Jubei or D take out everyone...
"Only one thing, is impossible for god: to find any sense in any copyright law on the planet." Mark Twain
Well, I guess I should clarify: the whole time thing bothers me to the point that I lost all interest in Superman. Like I alluded to in the first post, in my mind any fight he's ever had is moot because of his godly powers over space-time.
But, let's look at the Batman thing again: he could just save Bruce's parents (it's a good deed, right?), and prevent Batman from ever being created. Hell, he'd win by defusing the fight -- it just would never take place and Superman would prevail.
The movie was ridiculous, and as silly as reversing the Earth's rotation in order to turn back the clock of time is, it still doesn't bother me as much as the paradoxes involved in time travel (which were never dealt with). I'm willing to call the Earth/spin/reverse-time thing "artistic freedom" (how do you convey to kids the idea of what's going on? There's better ways, sure, but I'll let 'em slide!). The real problem is that it forever ruined Superman as an entity that actually has to fight for anything (there's some real power in time travel!)
To be fair, maybe I should disregard the movies and only look at what's happened in the world of comics (I haven't followed any stories closely in many moons, though I was a huge fan of Batman and Spiderman comics). Hopefully, no time travel in those!
Thanks for the link, I will check it out (I am personally rooting for Batman, don't get me wrong!)
I just hope the movie, if it gets made, is a little better thought out than the Superman movies of yesteryear!
In a straight up fair fight, Supermans immense strength and speed could trounce Batman.
However, Batman is less concerned with notions of honor. Batman fights to win. Plus, the creativity shown by his gadgets could be a big help. I'd put my money on a draw, Batmans mind and greater willingness to use dirty tricks playing off against Supermans raw power. If he could get hands on Kryptonite, I'd say batman would have a slight edge, though, Superman has learned to deal with enemies who have the stuff over the years, which evens it out again.
So, I say it would be a draw, assuming a battlefield that did not inherently favor or impede either of them. Though in Metropolis, Supermans knowledge of the place would probably carry him to victory, same with Gotham for Batman.
If I remember the correct form of the questionm from my childhood, it goes something like this:
Q: Batman, Superman, Spiderman, Santa Clause, an honest lawyer and a cleaning lady are all in a fight. Who wins ?
A: The cleaning lady, the others are just fictional characters.
echo '[q]sa[ln0=aln80~Psnlbx]16isb572CCB9AE9DB03273snlbxq' |dc
But I think he's not on the list cuase he hasn't been a hero icon for 40+ years like the others.
Why are they fighting? It is not in their characters to do so. Don't be so naive, someone else is behind this.
Between Batman, Spiderman, and Superman - Superman is the only one with SUPER POWERS. Granted spider man is strong/flexible/and has an almost useless "spidy sense", but he is no where near as strong as Spiderman and he can't fly, so if his webbing ran out he'd be stuck. Batman doesn't have ANY super powers. He just has really cool toys - like inspector gadget but in black/blue (depending on when you read your comics).
Of course as long as either one had cryptonite they could win - but if they didn't theres just no chance.
Anyway a better fight would be between Rogue and Superman since both are strong/flexible and can fly - the true test would be if rogue could suck up all his power vs. getting her face jabbed in.
God this is so pathetic I can't believe I actually just wrote all this.
Ave Molech Setting
According to Slashdot's archives, he hasn't posted since July 10th, 2002.
That said, I googlized and couldn't begin to find a homepage for him. Nor anything recent he published.
"We're sorry, but the website you're trying to reach has been disconnected."
There is indeed a dark side to Batman's character. Once Blossom chided one of her classmates saying "you can't pay to become a super hero." The response: "Oh yeah? Tell that to Batman!"
Here's the deal: without superpowers, just being a normal guy who's pushed himself to the very limit of human physical and mental perfection (and acquired more than a few neuroses along the way), Batman routinely does things in the Justice League that the rest of the team, with all their earth-shattering superpowers, can't even begin to comprehend. My favorite example of all this was in one of the JLA comics, where the entire league was battling a group of Martian invaders. There were maybe 7 martians, every single one of them almost an equal for Superman in sheer power. Needless to say, they were mopping up the planet with the JLA. In the final confrontation, the team split up into pairs to try and take the martians down one by one. The only ones who didnt pair up with anyone were Supes and Bats. So Supes manages to take one down all by himself after a long, hard-fought battle. Meanwhile, wonder-woman and Aquaman take one down between the two of them.. Martian Manhunter and GL take down one.. and so on.. Except for Batman. He goes off to the Batlair for a bit.. does some research, and finds out that the Martian's weakness is fire. So.. he grabs a can of lighter fluid, some matches, and sets off to catch himself some aliens. He lures three of them to an abandoned warehouse.. and spritzes some lighter fluid in a circle around him. when the martians get close enough in a radius around him, he tosses a lit match into the lighter fluid, creating a nice little enclosed ring of fire. then he smiles, and gets to work.
:)
Resolution? All the other JLA heroes show up dragging their subdued martians, everybody looking all beat up and bedraggled, and bitching about how there's still three more martians to take care of. Then someone notices Batman's not around. As they look around for him, he shows up, dragging *three* unconscious martians, and not a scratch on him, and a smile from ear to ear.
Score: Superman- One martian (and just barely at that). Batman- Three martians, without even breaking a sweat. Everyone else - maybe half a martian.
My money's on the guy in the bat suit.
"Two things are infinite: the universe, and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the first one." - Albert Einstein
As Robin watchest the fight from afar:
;-)
"Holy you-getting-your-ass-kicked batman!"
Granted, I've never been a fan of the whole All-American aspect of superman of Superman. You get the idea that he was the bully getting cheerleader action behind the bleachers while giving Super-wedgies to the geeks in school. But the guy is a fucking alien, so of course he's going to win in a fight against anybody who isn't made of some sort of wierd ass rock
Look at it this way, who wins in all those alien vs. human stories you hear about? The human, or the anal probe?
"It is seldom that liberty of any kind is lost all at once." -David Hume
Cartoon Jackie Chan vs. Cartoon Mr. T: who would win?
Ergonomica Auctorita Illico!
The Dark Knight Returns tells you all you need to know: Batman well and truly kicks Superman's ass, with an assist from Green Arrow and all sorts of high-tech gear. Then Wayne appears to drop dead from a heart attack.
The motivation for Batman challenging Superman is a bit more complex, but in a nutshell: the Man of Steel is working for the guvmint, and has been used to to stamp out vigilantism of the sort practiced by Wayne and the Green Arrow--in fact, the latter loses one of his arms after Superman rips it off. (Thus his motivation for helping Batman.) So Superman represents an oppressive, Reagan-era government, and Batman of course is the freedom fighter struggling to reclaim the streets. That oversimplifies it a lot, but it does nicely set up the climactic showdown.
Musical villains? heh.
These debates are funny. I watched a debate vs. Luke Skywalker and Captain Picard one day, I think it was over at spacebattles.com. They all had fun talking about how poor Mr. Picard'd get his butt kicked without even laying a finger on Mr. Skywalker. Then somebody chimed in with a devastating blow: "I'd like to see how long Luke Skywalker can fend off a continual fire phaser with his lightsaber."
This link tells about the battle between an aging Batman, and a superman weakened by a nuclear winter.
In a way, Batman has gone crazy; crazy with doubt and violence.
Anyhow, you can read it for yourself.
Correct Horse Battery Staple: 72 bits of entropy. Enter "Correct H" into google. When it generates the phrase, that's
That's a good idea, but considering that in the DBZ world, Goku has god-like abilities (i.e. can destroy planets and such) how would this be even remotely fair? It'd be over before it began. TMNT versus Power Rangers might be good for a laugh though. But what would those turtles do when the rangers call their robots? Steal the Terror Drome?
Sometimes I wish that I could use my moderator points on stories...
Are we talking Batman from Dark Knight Returns or Batman from The Amazing Adventures of Batman and Robin TV series? And are we talking Superman from Superman the Movie or Superman from Superman vs. Doomsday? This is crucial because if we're talking Adam West vs. the Superman that died at the hands of Doomsday....Holy Beasts of Burden, Batman...Mr. West is a dead man. But I think he could kick Christopher Reeve's ass.
Mordor...a magical, mythical land where women are more rare than dragons--but where every man would rather find a dragon
I would have to say "Q" from STNG would kick ass over anyone.
Sherm
Superman can barely move his left foot and he eats through a straw that is attached to his helmet.
How the hell would Christopher Reeve kill Batman?
-nd
Now, before I get modded OT, let me say I know this discussion is about the two guys in tights mixing it up. Nevertheless, I'm amazed there's a /. topic about our boy from Krypton where no one has posted a link to Larry Niven's classic essay on Superman's sex life, Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex. You can find it on varius places on the web, but this is one of the better formatted ones. You will at least snicker, perhaps even LOL.
Er, then again, maybe someone did post the link but they got modded down below all threshold. Oh, well, it's only Karma.
"Prepare for the worst - hope for the best."
Can't we all just get along?
RTFM; please, I beg you.
Dark Knight Returns and Batman: Year One define the Batman for me. Anything else seems either silly, or weak.
"There are seven working defenses from this position.
Three of them disarm with minimal contact. Three of them kill. The other..." [kicks bad guy] "hurts!"
"I'm not impatient. I just hate waiting." - My Dad
By which I mean Batman, not Superman. See this kuro5hin article for why.
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
Superman and Batman are yesterday's heros. The fanboys just don't relate to them any more, but I have an idea for a superhero all the fanboys will really connect with. He's called Blobman, and he lives in his mother's basement.
How ya like dat?
"Who is Lex Luthor?"
That is the enigmatic catchphrase muttered in alleys and on streetcorners as one by one, the greatest villains disappear, exposing the vicious fraud of the Superheroes by depriving them of victims.
Perhaps you should re-read it yourself.
Superman was reluctant to fight Batman. After all, he and Bruce Wayne had been allies many times in the past. But, in DKR, Superman operates as an agent of the United States Government, and the gov't is upset with Batman's unsanctioned activities. Law-and-order type that he is, Supes can't bring himself to defy a direct order and flies off to confront Batman.
Batman knows what's coming and has prepared for the inevitable. He's got himself a nifty exoskeleton with a pocketful of kryptonite. As the fight progresses and he inevitably finds himself outmatched Batman hauls out the kryptonite. Batman then drops dead of a heart attack.
Of course, he's really faking it so he can start over without being hounded by the authorities. Superman's fooled at the time, but while attending Batman's funeral he hears Bruce's heart start up again and he realizes what's going on. Having been reluctant to go after Batman in the first place he happily keeps the truth to himself and lets Batman "win".
But nobody really won. Superman's heart wasn't really in it, and, as you say, Batman threw the fight when he had an advantage.
...he'd pull out his BatSuperman Defeater at the last minute. A couple of KAPOWs later, he'd win.
One small problem - as seen in Superman (II?), Superman can zoom really fast around the globe and reverse time, go back to before Batman aquired said Kryptonite, and then beat the shit out of him.
That, coupled with X-ray vision, heat (laser)vision, super strength, invulernability, flight, well, he's kinda misbalanced.
If you want to go back to the original, "Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound," fine, he's got super speed, invulernability, super jump, X-ray vision, and super strength. Still would put my money on him, as that "faster than a speeding bullet" means he can break the sound barrier, which probably would be enough to be able to take out batman.
Batman is a wuss - he's like Velma and Fred rolled into a single character, with Johnny Quest's foolhardy bravado, then given lots of money and stature within the city. He romps around the city in tights and rubber armor with a boy wonder... If you've ever read Mark Leigh and Mike Lepine's "How to be a Superhero" (NBM Books: 1992) (some excerpts here - probably among the funniest books I've ever read... but out of print) you'll have heard this before, but "People talk..."
About your dodging thing - what a wussy way out. Superman takes it like a man. He's probably faster than the Flash, as well as more powerful, he just doesn't flaunt his super-speed like that piss ant hero. Don't even get me going on Aquaman...
Enough knocking Wonder Woman - Wonder Woman has magic bracers that deflect bullets. Batman has... a utility belt. Wonder woman has an invisible plane to get around (at least in superfriends). Batman has... a nice car (but hey, it is jet powered...). Wonder Woman has a magic lasso that makes Batman passive and tell only the truth... Batman has... Robin!
But they are not fighting the same fight.
Superman fights to enforce the laws. He is a flying supercop.
Batman fights for justice. He doles out punishement to thise who deserve it and lets minor fuckups go with little more than a slap on the wrist.
While they are nominally on the same side, they're not fighting the same fight and have very different goals. Batman also does not trust any being with as much raw power as Superman.
Think about it. Who's Supe's girlfriend? Nice law-abiding Lois Lane. Bat's girlfriend? The notorious jewel thief Cat Woman.
Boobies never hurt anyone. - Sherry Glaser.
And though "fans have been drooling" about an Aliens vs. Predator flick for years, Kenny isn't expecting much.
"You devolve into making it a videogame," he said.
Uh, dude? Don't you even know where your IP's licensed?
And the brethren went away edified.
Really, thinking about it Lex Luthor is kinda the anti-Bruce Wayne. Now a match up between Bruce/Batman and Luthor... If done properly that could be a story to rival Hannibal.
Speaking of, I wonder how Batman vs Hannibal Lector would go.
What if it is just turtles all the way down?
ok, ok, the americanisation of the old-englishified version of a greekified hebrew name. Happy now?
Thomas Galvin
Actually Batman wins, TWICE, just because of that Green Krypotonite he keeps around.....I guess it just depends on which comic you follow, or the TV show...
errr....umm...*whooosh* *whoosh* Is this thing on ?
and the aliens vs. predator comics aren't half bad even, however quite varying.
my fave was judge dredd vs. predator though..
world was created 5 seconds before this post as it is.
..because there are so many people that seriously debate things like which comic book superhero would 'win' in a battle... And have been doing so over and over for 60 years... And never get tired of it or think that all the relavent points have already been hashed out.
You gotta parody that for all its worth.
I like the vision of these two in the Dark Knight Returns:
Superman: respects authority without questioning, champion of the state and it's laws, easily manipulated by his ethics, somewhat simple-minded, suckered by authoritarian propaganda. Hard-working middle-class background. Firmly believes in democracy.
Batman: definitely questions authority, champion of individual rights, breaks laws as needed, more interested in justice than doing the right thing. Aristocratic background. Firmly believes that some people are better than others.
These two are really on different sides of the political spectrum. Batman would be a hard core Libritarian or an anarchist, and Supes would likely be a puppet for the GOP.
title says it all
I've seen him live many times from Black flag to Rollins band to his spoken word.
Most of my girlfriends are taler than him
..........FULL STOP.
DC Comics made an issue years ago where this actually happened. If I remember it correctly, Batman used a piece of kryptonite and weakened Superman, then commenced to beat the living super-doo from him for something he'd done - likely being an incompetent super-fiend. I'm sure most people would guess this, since Superman is just... superman. He's blind to the facts and all about truth, justice, and the "American" way. Batman's all about getting the job done the right way, or simply about just getting it done. He uses his head.
:P The two of them, teamed up with Wolverine would be an incredible asskicking combination.
:P I was really hoping for that during the Marvel/DC crossover. Instead they did Superman vs. Hulk... bah.
On a side note, superman is just too unbelieveable. He's a bygone artifact of another era of America's history, sadly enough.
As far as deadpool is concerned... I'm thinking he and batman would get along well, what little I know of deadpool.
I wonder if Wolverine could beat up Superman, personally. Superman is the Man of Steel, and Wolverine has adamantium (sp?) claws - which can cut through steel. (I'm thinking of the earlier Superman, not the pre-Doomsday Superman that was practically invincible and nothing could touch him - which is why they killed him, to bring him down a bit) Not only that, but Wolvie can heal really quickly. Considering Wolverine has caught a blast from sentinals before, and undergone hell, I think he could do it.
What ever happened to taht crossover universe, anyway? I've not been seeing any comics from it.
~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
One year at A-kon a fan artist drew a Dirty Pair vs. Predator picture. Adam Warren saw it and was apparently considering doing a Dirty Pair comic on it.
Who cares who wins? I gotta love seeing the DP live.
Now that's entertainment....
________________________________________ History Must Not Fall Into The Wrong Hands ___________________________________
I don't have the exact line but in any case it's recycled from many others anyhow:
One thing humans like more than a hero is seeing a hero fall.
You can bet a lot of people would enjoy this. Why do you think all the kids in the school gather round to watch a big fight?
in the end S knows B is alive. He hears his heart beat in the coffin.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
One is an insane genious who stalks villians dressed as a bat, and his alter ego is a rich brooding dork.
Bruce Wayne is a personna of The Batman.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
Wonder Woman could always fly.. the invisible jet is IIRC a TV invention ("Superfriends" gadget to sell toys)
No sig for the moment.