Slashdot Mirror
Go Stand By the Stairs, So I Can Protect You
ewhac writes "It seems a programmer named Jetro Lauha, for his submission to the Assembly 2002 competition, decided to explore the realm of solid body physics simulations. So he wrote Porrasturvat -- 'Stair Dismount'. The game involves the application of force vectors to solid bodies connected by links with constrained range of motion, and observing their impact forces against other objects in the environment. ...Or, more colloquially, you push a guy down the stairs and see how much damage he takes. Apparently, any similarity between this game and the Terrible Secret of Space is entirely coincidental."
two people for this experiment - 1 man plus alcohol can deliver all your falling down stairs needs - reports may take longer to compile
You can get really high scores in this game by finding the "bug": I'll keep the hint minimal, but if you push hard on his foot, and try to push it down and back into the stairs, there's a chance he'll get stuck for a few seconds... resulting in very high scores.
Note: We'll probably release a Linux
version of the game later!
where is the amiga version
img-timeline
Madeline: Ernest! My ass. I can see my ass. ERNEST: Yeah, and there's something really wrong with your neck too.
And Sim-WifeBeater is also an acccident.
Assembly means symbolic machine language. It has nothing to do with command line.
My score is: 46619
You have a TI? Sad. Texas instruments is like a drug dealer - they hook you while you're yong with complete crap. Get a HP. I suggest a HP49 or 40.
In response to your question, you arn't making alot of sense. Assembly is a programming language. Suggest you post your question to the TI group, or comp.sys.hp48 on usenet.
Just to make sure I don't get modded up, I'd like to add something:
Slashdot moderators are retards. Yes, retards. The average slashdot mod is a crack smoking tree hugging hippie who hugs trees and codes for doomed open source.
Thankyou for your cooperation in modding this down.
It seems a programmer named Jetro Lauha, for his submission to the Assembly 2002 competition, decided to explore the realm of solid body physics simulations
thats what HE wants us to believe....
Its quite interesting that the stairs were based on his local library and that he recently had an big argument with the librarian (who was, coincidently, sleeping with Jetro's partner)
But, of course, last sundays accident was a horrible coincidence and he honestly didnt mean to stumble and push the librarian on the upper left arm at a 37.6 degree angle or anything...
Which is another amazing coincidence because thats precisely how the highest (non-buggy) score submitted to his website was achieved!
Dont believe the shover robot, because he is malfunctioning.
If you can wait 6 months there is an expansion pack,Banana Peels and Rollerskate.
I actually have played that game a couple of times, and now you pushed the website down the stairs with the /. effect! What do you expect I will do with my obsession to push people, when I next take the stair down to leave the office :)
** Ohh, this is the perfect chance to plug the analysis of the slashdot effect once more.
From this bot...
You: Will you push me down the stairs?
Iniaes: Twice, if you manage to get back up.
sadly the database seems to have gone down - but look at http://db.cs.helsinki.fi/~jlauha/taat/porrasturvat /score/webscores.cgi tommorrow :)
test my shotgun to see how much damage he takes?
Phil, just me
"Cattle Prods solve most of life's little problems."
It uses the free (or to be specific LGPL) Open Dynamics Engine. A quite nice physics SDK, check it out if you are interested in physics engines.
Anyone got a mirror?
Assembly language is nearly as close to programming in the language computers actually speak as possibly, short of actually writing your code in binary or hexadecimal. In a language like Basic or C, you're using a lot of predefined functions and tools (like Print, Goto, etc.); in Assembly, you write practically everything yourself.
Assembly code is incredibly fast, and massively time consuming to write. It is very un-portable, though... assembly code written for an Intel Pentium-class chip sometimes won't work on an AMD chip or even a Pentium IV.
// I will show you fear in a handful of jellybeans.
the direct translation from Finnish is either something like "stair shelters" or alternatively something like "stair muzzles" or "stair traps" (as in "shut your trap!")...
Karma. Moderation. Is my
...Pontifex. You try and build bridges which stay up when you run trains over them. Really cool.
Go Here -> http://www.chroniclogic.com/
"If A equals success, then the formua is A=X+Y+Z. X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut" - A Einstein.
Hoep u got 10 bux lol
Is it just me or does anyone else wonder if you can make this thing kick itself in the head?
Of all the Universal Constants, here's one I know: Nice guys finish last
Lots of air, lands on head -> 59629 no cheating.
I'm sure it must L6kld8j4's ability to come up with a novel slant in D6y893 that makes it so appealing to 8q39ys.
8q39ys.
Powered by onion juice.
Funny, I was just on my way to go buy this book.
Posting anonymously because this is off topic. I had to say it. It was too weird.
i was hoping this would be like a stairwell, where you had to angle the guy around the corner to get to the next set of stairs.... or maybe knock him upwards so he "grinds" on the hand rail.... that'd be pretty sweet. still, a really fun game, even if it does render horrendously slowly on a meager K6-2 300. the slow mo sure is entertaining, though.
moox. for a new generation.
You mean similarities with the ICQ Prank at Something Awful :
5
http://www.somethingawful.com/article.php?id=28
...before this can be added as a plug-in to Grand Theft Auto III?
Be excellent to each other. And... PARTY ON, DUDES!
THAT woulda been kewl.
I fully expected to see some sort of Jethro jokes by now ;-)
Jetro/Jethro? :)
Assembly is a bit fancier than Basic. As a result, you have to write in on your computer and then send it over to your TI-83+ by means of a link cable. I've never done it, because my link cable is stupid, but its defitally a good way to get writing programs. TI-BASIC isn't so bad though if you just wanna program little junk programs for fun.
"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity." -- Hanlon's Razor
Max Force
H: 16.82
P: -26.69
Of course, aside from the extra included RAM and higher speed, the HP49 sucked in every possible way compared to the HP48. I really wish they had gotten to release a true successor to the 48... Hate Carly forever!
TO BUY A NEW CAR WOULD MAKE YOU SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE.
COMPUTER games could help kids develop valuable thinking skills and strategies, an academic said today.
James Cook University senior education lecturer Lyn Henderson studied the way 13 and 14-year-old students approached a recreational fantasy game.
She found students ranging from low to high ability effectively used complex skills such as prediction, analysis and problem solving.
"I think we tend to negate some of the educational benefits of such games, we tend to distance ourselves from them as parents and teachers," Dr Henderson said.
"We are caught up, I think rightly so, in the aggression and violence of them but there are many non-violent games that promote really important cognitive abilities."
The students played a game called Final Fantasy Nine, in which a group plots to kidnap a princess, but the skills were also relevant to sports games.
"I'm assuming there would be still a lot of the same thinking skills and processes there," Dr Henderson said.
In some cases, students identified by their teachers as having a low ability outperformed their higher-ability peers.
"For one lower ability student there was a complex card game and you had about nine different things to keep in mind," Dr Henderson said.
"I found he did it very easily but the students identified as very high ability had quite a few problems.
"I found with all students, that they really did have a lengthy concentration span and a determination to understand the game and get it right."
Dr Henderson said the games triggered the same sort of thinking skills and strategies that were highly valued in classrooms.
Teachers could try to tap into that and formulate activities for students that employed similar challenges, she said.
Push him down an up escalator and the program will never stop running.
-----
Sorry, I'm only a 1336 h4x0r.
Does anyone know if there is a way I could add my bosses face to this? It would help me greatly.
He has gone down the stairs.
Pak Chooie uNF.
Zech Harvey, MCSE, MCDBA, CCNA
The only HP that doesn't suck is the 28S. All the rest are crap. Nothing beats a TI-89. The 89 does everything. It will even make you breakfast. Can your HP do that?
If we just accept everything that works great on WINE, then why would anyone bother writing applications for linux?
Often, you can throw a programmer out of Windows, but you can't throw the Windows out of the programmer. A Windows app will in most cases recompile just fine for a *n?x system using Winelib. Thus, I accept Winelib as just another widget set, analogous to GTK+ or Qt.
Winelib on Cygwin... sick.
Will I retire or break 10K?
don't suppose it's easily ported to PowerPC, eh? Is there GNU Autoconf for assembly?
four nine eighteen twenty-7 thirty-nine forty-7 fiftyeight sixty-nine seventy-9 eighty-8 one-hundred-and-nine one-twenty
I think we just pushed his webserver down the stairs.
Great. First of all, porrasturvat was attacked by the forum goons on somethingawful, forcing them to redo the rules slightly (there was a great "cheat" where you could make the guy fall on his leg and stick there, racking up hundreds of thousands of points). Now they're going to get the slashdot readers going at it too?
:D
They could make a lot if they put this game up for sale. It's sooo much fun!
You've got mail. Pattern baldness. - Crow
Come on guys. I happened to catch this on TechTV months ago as a ScreenSavers download of the day. How about some interesting stories?
I've been doing this for years on my own...
I knew I should have applied for that patent
Creationists are a lot like zombies. Slow, but powerful and numerous. And they all want to eat our brains.
Apparently, any similarity between this game and the Terrible Secret of Space is entirely coincidental
Is the similarity that they both are unavailable due to massive slashdotting?
I bet Stewie the baby would have loved this simulation...
If only he didn't try knocking his Mum down the stairs on the day that Death was incapacitated due to a twisted ankle. Although sawing the leg off the Armoir (making it fall on top of her) and the grenade to finish things off would have been another simulation in itself!
Are you local? There's nothing for you here!
good to see you interested, but as always google is your friend
I got a 10, and the 'guy' looked like he was just sitting on the top step. Screenshot if ya wanna see it.
...that isn't /.'ed.
p ac e.html
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/secretofs
_sig_ is away
Download game ZIP
Download EXE installer
Mirror provided by Mr HOSTBOT
RudeDude
Perl/Linux/PHP hacker
That's so obsfucated that it might almost compile as real assembly...
:-)
Now we know where the game came from
/* FUCK - The F-word is here so that you can grep for it */
(He's gone, shew.) Handrails and doorknobs would be a plus. You could include some quirky plot, make it like Thief. You have to sneak around the office, driven by some unexplainable urge to shove people down stairs. Leave it unexplainable and focus on gameplay. If there's a witness, you get caught, game over. If the victim isn't hit hard enough in the head, he can tell people what happened, game over. And of course, powerups!
I believe its /.ed right now. Here is a mirror of the files themselves.
zip file
Executable (windows)
--sig fault--
What is the lowest score you can get while still having the guy reach the bottom of the stairs?
hi folks, just thought this might be interesting
to some of you: got the game to work in a recent
cvs build of wine (opengl enabled) on Linux Mandrake
9.0. You cannot use the mouse in any meaningful way
though, but the pitch and angle can be adjusted
using the nuermic keyboard. You'll also need
MSVCP60.dll which can be had from dll-files.com.
This games uses SDL to I guess it would be too hard to create a native linux version. Oh yeah, current highscore 57,000 or thereabouts. Great fun!
Enjoy,
uwe
Ever wondered whats wrong with the world? http://www.ishmael.org/
Wouldn't it be ironic if someone in the cable industry created this little gem since they love the idea of people 'stealing' their cable to split the broadband to multiple pcs?
Turn off remote management
'nuff said.
Current high score here: 126994
Force: 6 bars
Heading: 37.24
Pitch: 48.41
Almost fell out of my chair when I saw his head pop off for a second, after he hit the side of the stairs!
homer falling down the cliff ...doh...doh...doh...doh......
btw my lowest score is 1387. beat that!
What, this isn't like golf???
Stefan.
The truth shall make you fret. (Ankh-Morpork tImes motto)
If you push him on a foot (I've just done the left) in the proper directoin you can get the amazing man to fall UP the stairs. Low damage, like 2K, but cool to watch.
"If a quarter is two bits, then a dollar's a byte." -R Deric Miller
Having played with the ODE...
:)
The parent article is quite correct. If you're doing any solid-body physics based stuff, ODE rocks. Combine it with SDL and OSG and you have the basic tools to produce some really cool stuff. Throw in the Demeter Terrain Engine if you want a bit of scenery to go with it. I've tied all four together for experimenting with what makes a good driver interface for a hovertank.
The Stair-dismount makes good use of joints, and collision detection features of ODE - but even if you don't need these, the force model of ODE is a lot of fun to play with on its own. But if you *are* ambitious, it has specialised joint and suspension-spring models for doing things like wheeled vehicles pretty easily.
With all these tools available under LGPL, those of you like me - who don't like writing a graphics/physics engine so much as actually writing cool simulations with said engines - have a much better point to start from than even 2 years ago.
Slightly off-topic, but Unreal Tournament 2003 simulates the same sort of physics when you die. Your body becomes a "ragdoll" and the maps provide many (otherwise inexplicable) pits full of crisscrossing bars and fan blades for your hapless corpse to fall through.
...is Grandma protected?
-- 7 string electric violin + live loop samplers
what
Do not trust the Pusher Robot. I am here to protect you.
It kinda reminds me of watching my 401k plan for the past year.
All Troll + "offtopic" mods are meta moderated as "Unfair", because you abused the system.
okay, so here's about where to cheat
212.18
75.87
the foot on the right (his left foot)
-1 full force
my highest score this way is 173737
Well, it's only worth about 40K, but I was simply laughing my ass off, when this poor guy fell to his knees, gathered around 20K sitting and waiting for the inevitable, then finally and VERRRY slowly began crouching on his hands and knees down the stairs. This was the most hilarious fell I saw up to now.
Force:IIIIIII.....
Heading: 178.09
Pitch: 23.49
I got a 14...
Force: 1 bar, 288.30, -84.56, torso
Basically, it looked like he slowly sat down than decided to take a nap. I replayed it 5 or so times and it's still hilarious.
Next time I fall down stairs, it's gonna be 1 bar, 288.30 degrees, -84.56 pitch, and it'll be due to a force on my torso.
--- We need more Ron Paul!
what
kekekekeke^
--Purple lightning. That's always a good sign.
http://www.somethingawful.com/article.php?id=285
Bring protected is the new AYB!
All this needs is to have the guy carry a wedding cake done the stairs....
Yes, I getting old.
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Its not all that bad - my assembly code in a CPU identifier works fine on both Intel Pentiums / IVs / XVVIIIIIs, and AMD processors. You just have to make sure that you depend on use of any processor specific features unless you know exactly what processor you're running on and have a backup for other processors that don't support that feature.
Iain
---- "I would be careful in separating your weirdness, a good quirky quantum weirdness, from the disturbed weirdnes
Object: Application of network traffic vectors to physical web servers connected by links with constrained bandwidth resources, and observing their impact against response time. Or, more colloquially... you push a million /. readers at a website and see how much damage it takes.
Here's my simulation of someone falling down a circular staircase. [.avi, 1.5MB]. Note that there's less "boink" than with impulse/constraint simulators; the bounces take several frames, rather than being instantaneous. That's because Falling Bodies is a spring/damper system, which produces better results. Takes more cycles, though.
Now everybody does falling downstairs as a demo for physics engines. I've created a cliche, like the old "teapot" graphics test.
More videos.
(Most of these videos are encoded with the Intel Indeo codec, which Intel discontinued, but you can still get it from Ligos. I should convert that material to another codec. What would you suggest that will work five years from now?)
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[img]h
[img]http://w
[img]http://www.goat
[img]http://www.goatse.cx/h
[img]http://www.goatse.cx/hello.jp
[img]http://www.goatse.cx/hello.jpg[/img]
I'm going back to FYAD.
REPORTED
REPORTED
The pusher robot always says shove, and the shover robot always says push.
By the way, any resemblance of the United States political system to "The terrible secret of space" is also a coincidence.
...volunteer to have his body motion-captured for that animation?
Idiot.
i have lost days of otherwise productive work to this damn game. first it was geting a max 0Heading 0Pitch game. (80,000 odd) then it was getting no damage at all. then it was getting over 600,000. (645,449 then 669,165 then 672,169) thats not skill that just shear perseverance. yes u have to use angles like 179Heading and 79 Pitch.
"Maybe with some divine intervention, the next version of Microsoft's OS will actually be good." - Linus Torvalds
Those little demos are so neat, based on former years.
I especially like the 'cram as much cool stuff in as few bytes as possible' sections, like 4k or 256B.
"Nine times out of ten, starting a fire is not the best way to solve the problem." - my wife
Push on the right foot (his left) with 1 power and the following:
Heading: 180.48
Pitch: -50.37
"Communism is like having one [local] phone company " - Lenny Bruce
103364, straight down the center.
Body part: Head
Force: 2/3
Pitch: 40
Heading: 360
Make him bounce down the stairs on his head for big points!
You might want to look at its page on pouët, the group's other work, other games from the demoscene and some other stuff.
:)
But be nice, don't slashdot the scene.org servers that pouët is hosted on
this is good stuff
I scored 868814
They're using their grammar skills there.
I have made a couple of the more popular mixes made of the Terrible Secret of Space (Down the Stairs Mix, Protected Mix). The guy who did the original song truly is the Laziest Man on Mars, I've been pestering him since Terrible's heyday to add me to his MP3.com page. If he thought my stuff sucked all that bad, he could at least compose a two word "fuck off" email. :) In other news, my my sig is eerily on-topic today.
Error: PANTS NOT FOUND. Press <F1> to continue.
I think the best feature the next version could have is skinning. That was I could push Tony Little down the stairs over and over again.
Goddamn! A game that is genuinely _challenging_!
Now how will I get any work done?
Blah - I bet you used HP's at school becuase the teacher/prof/lecturer 'suggested' it after being bribed by TI. Seeing as how you wield an 89 rather then an 83 I'll assume you use it for real work, rather then games. Does the TI89 do laplace transforms? (the HP does - built into rom!) Z transforms? Fast Fourier Transforms?
Can it calculate 5000 factorial? How long does it take? Can it give me a general solution for the integral of xsin(x)? Does it have a constants library built into ROM?
The HP admittantly is slightly lower then the TI because of the low clockspeed, but it kicks the TI's ass in functionality. I means the HP has got 1mb RAM, 2MB flash ROM. How much memory does the TI have?
The TI is easier to use. If you want a calc you can learn in 3 mins that's the one to get. The HP take longer, maybe 15 minutes to learn (hard RPN isn't) if you're not a total moron. RPN rules. Example: Calculate 3 resistors in parallel, 4,5,6 ohms...
TI: 1/(1/4 + 1/5 + 1/6)=
16 keystrokes
HP: 4 * 5 * 6 * + + * where * is the 1 over button
9 keystrokes. Harder to read here, but makes sense when you type it in and can see what's going on.
On a ligher note, here's some cool things that people have built with a HP:
*web / email / telnet etc. client (modem)
*Web Server (Connected to dial up modem)
*Remote Control for TV's and DVD players (HP48G/GX)
*datalogger with ADC circuit
*RC5 code cracker
Have a look Here/a? for more info.
he HP49 sucked in every possible way compared to the HP48.
why?
I take it you bought one of the first HP's, serial number begins with ID, right? All the newer ones have the crappy heyboard and screen fixed. You should update you;re rom to the latest beta. The calc is fine then. And set the flags so soft menu's are in use rather then choose boxes. The calc then behaves like a faster HP48 with more cool stuff built in.
I've got you beat. 89,984.
One mod up for funny and it gets modded down overrated... You're standing by the stairs, aren't you! Aren't you! No wait! You might be a Space Robot! You stay away from me, Space Robot! I don't want to be protected from the Terrible Secret of Space, I don't want to go down the stairs, I do not want to be shoved outside in the snow. I do not want snow pushed on top of me.
And that goes double for the Republican and Democrat Pusher and Shover Robots.
what
what
got a 0!
used your settings but kicked him at 2 bars..
look at the color of the arrow, click when its less red
This game is wonderful! I'm addicted!
Did you try to patent Newton law as well? Or maybe kick in the butt? People like you who make this patent system absurd. Fuck you.
<^>_<(ô ô)>_<^>
this one isn't so slashdotted:
p ac e.html
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/secretofs
101820 - not using that lame foot cheating method either, I'd correct you on your angles but I feel so l33t =D I'm sure I could get a more, but this game is so much about luck, the angle helps alot, otherwise you'll never get over a set amount, but after that it's just luck.
what?
Damnit man!! I was just discussing doing that very thing with the guys at work, and here I find somebody else thought of it first. I've never done any mod work, but I'll certainly look into it this weekend. If anybody has done anything before, let me know-- I'm happy to help anywhere, and grateful for advice/examples to work from.
Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
Somebody beat me now!!
I'm convinced the laser/girder pit in the Bombing Run games was inspired by Porrasturvat. I want UT 2003 modded for it, dammit! :)
"To pass through the jungle; silence, courtesy, ferocity, as the occasion demands." -- Kamau, "Proper Passage"
In the course of reading Hadamard's "The Psychology of Invention in the ..." Hadamard refers ..." and gives the following, very revealing quote:
Mathematical Field", I have come across evidence supporting a fact
which we coffee achievers have long appreciated: no really creative,
intelligent thought is possible without a good cup of coffee. On page
14, Hadamard is discussing Poincare's theory of fuchsian groups and
fuchsian functions, which he describes as "... one of his greatest
discoveries, the first which consecrated his glory
to Poincare having had a "... sleepless night which initiated all that
memorable work
"One evening, contrary to my custom, I drank black coffee and
could not sleep. Ideas rose in crowds; I felt them collide
until pairs interlocked, so to speak, making a stable
combination."
Too bad drinking black coffee was contrary to his custom. Maybe he
could really have amounted to something as a coffee achiever.
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