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Weird Presents Anyone?
g8way writes "Now that Christmas is about, it's time for presents. A joyous occasion with much drinking, fruitcake, and butt-ugly sweaters. What's the weirdest gift you've gotten so far? Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package. What's your story of Christmas present mayhem?"
a dildo for Christmas. From my elderly neighbor! I'm a male!
HOW'S MY POSTING? CALL 1-800-POSTING
Personally, i got a first post! :-P
My Stack Overflow user
My friends got me a blow-up doll, complete with inflatable breasts and two holes.
I've never felt so pathetic in my life.
I got a 40 gig iPod for Xmas. But the weird part is that when I looked at the diagnostics menu, it said it was only 37.1 gigs! Apple played Grinch and stole 3 gigs of music from me. :(
C - A language that combines the speed of assembly with the ease of use of assembly.
Along with the usual sweaters, socks and underwear I get every year, this year I got something special..
:D
My mother in law excitedly handed me my gift this year with a big grin on her face. I opened the box and what was there?
A seagate Barricuda 7200rpm 120gig hard drive!
"Now you can download more movies and burn them to dvd (vcd)" she says.
Large capacity hard drives, the gift that keeps on giving all year long
A friend was nice enough to get me a book called "Why Be Good?" and even highlight select passages for me. One such note in the book is the highlighting of a chapter called "Ego Management." Think they're trying to tell me something?
when I find myself you'll be the first to know.
Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package.
Think they are trying to tell you something?
called "Casual Romance Club". It is written by Peach Princess.
I have big plans for this game. I'm going to use it to learn how to interact with women and to learn what to say to get them to have sex with me.
Once I've perfected the technique in the sim, I'm going to go out and try it for real!
I'll be doing the hokey pokey in no time.
If somebody got you deodorant, don't you think they were trying to send you a message?
g8way writes "Now that Christmas is about, it's time for presents. Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package. What's your story of Christmas present mayhem?"
your gift givers think you are fat and smelly
100% Insightful
the Beagle has NOT landed
I got a combination wallet/calculator from Radio Shack. Who buys a wallet from RS? Old folks are so crazy. This is the same aunt who last year bought me a combination mouse pad/calculator. Next year I bet I get a calculator watch.
Oh well, maybe I'll get her back by giving some Metallica CDs.
I got ten shares of SCO.
I would have preferred a roll of Charmin.
Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package.
Toothpaste, breath-freshening mints, deoderant, and cheap out-of-the house food.
No pattern there.
Hmm. Unless.... Is your family trying to tell you you're spending too much time playing Everquest, and too little time playing "shower"?
Opinions on the Twiddler2 hand-held keyboard?
My Xmas:
6 pairs of black socks
1 can of mixed nuts (i hate most nuts)
A bottle of leather conditioner (presumably for my car)
A pair of cheap $20 headphones (left side doesn't work)
15 losing $1-2 lottery tickets
$10 in gift certificates to Krispy Kreme (love them, but the closest one is an HOUR away. All Dunkin' Donuts around here.)
Speaker stands for the surround sound system I don't have.
-----
I gave...
My sister a nice Capresso CoffeeTEC coffee maker because her current coffee maker broke, and this does lattes and hot cocoa to boot, which she loves. Also got her an assortment of coffee from Gevalia.
My parents to share, got them 5 classic movie DVDs (Ben-Hur, Citizen Kane, On the Waterfront, Bridge on the River Kwai, Casablanca). My mom a backyard birdwatching and project book, a pair of nice binoculars. My father I got a 10GB iPod (bring his MP3s in his car without him constantly burning CDs), and a new copy of MS Trips and Streets (to replace his 1994 Rand McNally software which he still uses regularly).
-----
I know its not what you get, but the thought that counts, but I think I put in a lot more thought than they did.
----- ----- ----- -----
Not only did I get nothing but CLOTHES for christmas.. My parents bought me a hamper to put them in. *rolls eyes*
Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package.
It was a message. Your breath stinks, you have BO, and you're too skinny.
I got a full length coat from my mom. Now I can go out in public without wearing anything underneath it. I can;t wait till New Years!! Mwahaahaha!!!!
adventure-today.com
How about the sound of a bottle beeing opened?
My dad is a goofball and gave me a wedge of Gouda Cheese in my stocking. Everything else in there smelled like cheese.
My girlfriend got me razor-sharp shurikens that I can use to assassinate my enemies in the dark of night!
I wrote Santa and asked for a pussy. So I unwrap the box and see only a goddam alley cat.....male even.
Table-ized A.I.
I love my family. :D
I agree... the only way to be a good golfer is to follow Christian teachings. Nothing else seemed to work for me, so that's gotta be it.
it is christmas after all
...was wrapped gift wrap.
Worse part was, I didn't know when the hell to stop unwrapping.
A really smart shirt from Next
The shirt I got is a little slow, but it means well.
Other than that I got some toothpaste, a toothbrush, and deodorant. I wonder if my mom is trying to tell me something about my hygiene.
I received a sweatshirt that's XXL and I'm a Medium.
Let's trade. I am a big human but got a medium.
Table-ized A.I.
Me and my s.o. got a Shocking Roulette game from a friend who is studying in Scotland (it's supposed to be popular around there?). It's for 2-4 players. Each puts a finger inside this machine, the lights start blinking, and as they stop the lucky winner is rewarded with an electric shock. "The more you sweat the worse it gets!"
Closest I got was an SCO Beowulf Cluster from Soviet Russia from a company that failed to make a Profit!
I received a wonderful gift in my e-mail box from the King of Nigeria this morning. He said that if I gave him my life savings, he would give me $400,000,000. What a kind fellow, fully of holiday cheer, to make such a generous offer!
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
"mom got me a bag of coffee beans per month for the rest of the year, which should be cool"
...Just *one* bag then, huh? ;)
My finest gift was a small box of Lemon Flavored Pez Coated Popcorn. I had no idea that anyone alive would be twisted enough to market this.
Well, in a manner of speaking...
I got mod points! Tiz the season to Troll Troll Troll! Thanks Santa!
Table-ized A.I.
Earlier this year I was annoyed by s few flies. I asked my wife to pick up a no-pest strip at the store. She couldn't find any, so I forgot about it.
Today I unwrap a present to find a mechanical replica of a Venus Flytrap plant, complete with some sort of sticky insert to trap bugs of all sorts. The box proudly exclaims that "it burps when it's caught a bug"...
<sigh>
I woke up and found a meter-wide disk-shaped space probe right under my tree, hot to the touch. It kept beeping this odd British pop tune. Bummer, there were no chocolates in it though.
Table-ized A.I.
I got some crumby cologne from T.J. Maxx from my 8th grade English teacher. It was very likely the most embarassing moment of my school life. She gave it to me in class and I was the only one to receive a gift. So, so, so embarassing (primarily because i smelled bad and was too busy kernel hacking to take a shower when I was at home) Ahh, those were the days...
>>Next year I'm going to buy them something by Richard Dawkins.
How about getting them a Mac? My creationist cousin has one and I get a kick out of him using Darwin.
aedan
A good friend of mine came by and presented me with a wrapped item, about 1 meter long with bulges on each end. I tried to guess the contents, but to no avail. It turned out to be a beat-up air horn off of a large truck - which he had found in a junk yard. It didn't take long to find the fittings in the junk box to wake up the neighbothood with it.
Loud? Oh my! The 100 PSI shop air will make it sing. Now, where can I install it?
Soli Deo Gloria
So, did anyone get $100 bucks?
Anyone?
Etiquette is etiquette. He kills his mother but he can't wear grey trousers.
I got Mod Points for Christmas! Thanks Santa!
I recently moved out on my own into an apartment in Portland with my fiancee, and this Christmas from my brother I got a $25 gift certificate from Home Depot... now, at first glance that might make sense, but if he'd checked he'd have realized that:
1) The nearest Home Depot is 50 miles away and I don't have a car.
2) You can't use them online.
3) There's hardly anything there you can buy for $25 that isn't sold by the pound anyway.
I'm selling it back to my dad for cash and thanking my brother politely for the thoughtful gift.
Why does my mother keep giving me Microsoft Games no matter how many times I tell her I don't use Windows!!! She just doesn't get it, "My son's a computer guy so I get him computer games".
-"Mom, I don't use Windows".
+"So how do you use Word?"
-"I don't".
+"Oh, Hmm, how do you use MSN?"
-"I Don't!!!!"
+"But I know you get email".
-"Yes"
+"Well that's certainly strange".
-"No, it isn't. MSN is not the Internet"
+"Oh, well here's you're Chrismas present, a copy of Freelancer". (Which is some MS game I never heard of)
Nevermind the fact that I'm 34 and don't even play computer games.
Anyone want an unopened copy of Freelancer?
My 6 year old daughter presented me with my long lost black handled phillips head screwdriver. She gave my two sons my mechanical pencils.
from my parent, i got a golden motorcycle model lighter. why weird?
1) i don't smoke
2) i don't ride a motorcycle
3) i don't collect model
and...
4) they let all the gas out because they are paranoid about the house getting burnt down.
oh, and
5) ???
6) profit
Thats what I got, no shens. But seriously what the hell am I going to use Whiskey flavored condoms for?!
Bill Gates took my pants, and I thank him for it.
Actualy, wasn't weird: it was a dress but it was the ugliest dress I could find. Of course was a joke but the funny part was to see my mother's face trying to smile (a very yellow smile!) and saying it was beautiful and thank you until I burst in laught. :-D
When my mother realized it was a joke her first words to me were "Thank Lord was a joke! I was already thinking a way to get rid o it without offend you!" Them I gave her the real present
Scientia est Potentia
I'm assuming the person who gave it to me isn't expecting me to fly anywhere after Christmas :)
My 19 year old got a nice leather appointment book/planner from an out of town relative. Just the thing to help a college freshman stay organized. Really. A thoughtful gift. The cool thing about it is that it's a 1999 calendar.
And I got a sweatshirt with the name of the local pro hockey team on it. Officially licensed NHL gear, purchased from a national department store chain. The team name is misspelled.
Out of date Daytimer....$5. Sweatshirt that slipped past the QC inspector....$7.50. A Christmas tale we'll laugh about for years....priceless.
I've got two younger (11 and 12) brother-in-laws. They're into collectable playing cards (such as Magic: The Gathering). One of them is quite the selfish type and quite conscious of other peoples' opinions of him; the other one is a bit more geeky and off in his own world.
:P
I got them each a Core Set deck. The one more fitting for the geeky b-in-l (Sky Slam/blue) I wrapped simply - just put it in a small box slightly larger than the deck - I also put a $5 bill in. The other one (Burn/red), I put in a large box with heavy objects (several rocks wrapped in paper). I didn't put any names on the packages.
I then let the older/less geeky b-in-l pick the present that he wanted. Being selfish, he picked the larger one. The result: a lesson hopefully learned - and if not, hopeful progress made on that lesson.
I love playing mind games with influential youngsters.
~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
Must be the Babelfish. Stick it in your ear.
My wife bought herself a car, I got the payments. /me scratches head..
n/t
I got "Pirates of the Caribbean" on DVD for Xmas...
MOD SELF UP +1, TIS THE SEASON
Pain lasts, kid. Its how you know you're alive. Sometimes I think this growing up thing is just pain management-TheMaxx
umm.. yea
stay away from those..
and yellow snow..
and...
anime+manga together at last.. in real time.
Yeah thats right, a bright yellow jumpsuit with black stripes on the sides! I also got a Oz Quick Trip thermos, a flash lite that has a screwdriver set inside, a very nicely made photo collage of my newborn daughter, 10 pack of Maxell CD-R's, Jing: King of Bandits manga, Elf quest graphic novel, and a Gameboy Advance SP.
The past is just the present only older -me-
Just askin'.
Language students: Don't try to learn English here. This ain't it.
And the women that do drink it, tend to be the ones you didn't want to meet in the first place...
Your wife gave 'm to ya?
This space is intentionally staring blankly at you
If you really want to prove the point, get them an English translation of The Koran.
right here! :)
Although the end result seems ok
Veni, Vidi, Velcro!
But at least it wasn't a hot cocoa sampler.
One of my friends gave me Mandrake Linux for Christmas. Cheap bastard.
Manipulate the moderator system! Mod someone as "overrated" today.
This was about two years ago, I think. It happened near Christmas. We had just installed a new pretty lamp in the living room and were all looking at the pretty effect that light makes with the dust. Then suddenly we realized that it's not dust, it's smoke from the kitchen!
Turns out mom left a frying pan there, and the oil caught fire. Mom yells "Cover it with something!". I run and bring a big towel. Mom: "Not that one!". Anyway, we fixed that pretty quick, and other than a lot of smoke nothing happened.
A few days later a strange package for mom from dad appeared under the tree. We all wondered what was it (pretty big, very heavy...) and finally she opened it.
A fire extinguisher.
Oh, wait, never mind.
Language students: Don't try to learn English here. This ain't it.
I got a puppy from my parents and a cat from my uncle... The description of any of my other gifts now includes the adjectives "urine-scented", "chewed", or "clawed to hell" ... primarily as a result of gift #1 trying to swallow gift #2.
One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
... a male friend of mine, who has a rather elderly grandmother, received a dress.
The floggings will stop when morale improves.
autobiography of christian golfer Bernhard Langer
Must be hard, being the only christian in a buddhist-only sport like golf...
Waitaminute
You can't take the sky from me...
Another year I smoked a bunch of hams and turkeys
Dude, that's some serious drug problem...you should see a doctor!
You can't take the sky from me...
Hey, it's a joke. What's up your ass?
But what about those poor disenfranchised pervs who have and ear fetish?
Recently I ordered 6 CDs from a CD club, completely unrelated to Christmas.
When they came in the mail, my wife intercepted them and wrapped them and put the box under the tree as a gift to me. She warned me it was a joke.
Imagine my surprise when I opened it and saw what it was!
HCG 50a = 2MASX J11170638+5455016
11h17m06.4s +54d55m02s
And did he invite you down to his basement, where he had a freezer full of popsicles for you? Or ask you to reach in his pocket to collect your tip? I'm sorry, but that creepy old male neighbor (Family Guy, 'To Live and Die in Dixie") sp00ked me but good. His voice did it, I think...
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. - Aldous Huxley
I got a new tire for my car, and bought a replacement pump housing so I could repair the dishwasher for my mom.
Kind of the adult equivilent of socks and underwear for Xmas.
Just because you can mod me down, doesn't mean you're right. Shoes for industry!
On my 18th B-day my girlfriend gave me her friend.
I am the unwilling control for my Origin.
I got a legolas door-poster from MY parents. im male as well, but i told my ex-girl what i got for xmas and she said shes comin over. never know when a life-size image of orlando bloom will come in handy ;)
eBayDig 1s a typo saerch engien
Darl? Is that you?
No, he wouldn't be complaining.
Game... blouses.
I don't celebrate Christmas, you insensitive git! Ever hear of Ramadan? ;-)
I knew I was getting old when I appreciated the four tires I got and wanted *more* socks and underwear. I actually need them and don't want to buy $10 pairs of boxer shorts for myself.
Although, they could have told me before I got an oil change and tire rotation last week.
A bible with the words inscriber "finals are coming, better get to study"
www.linux-skunkworks.com
It's bright red and has a silvery kind of screen. It has two knobs. It I turn one of them, a line moves up and down. If I turn the other, a line moves left and right. It also has a comletely variable refresh rate: any time I want to refresh it, I just turn it face down and shake it, and it's all blank again. Now I just need to get me a processor and some mass storage to round out my desktop system. I figure an abacus and a notebook & pencils will do nicely. Maybe some crayons for the graphics.
In the same package I got a remake of the old 1950's breakfast cereal surprise toy Rising And Diving Submarine, baking powder (NOT soda!) powered.
My 19 year old daughter understands me quite well.
"I may be synthetic, but I'm not stupid." -- Bishop 341-B
Somebody gave me a plastic reindeer that poops brown jelly beans. "The Super Dooper Reindeer Pooper".
I tore off the wrapping paper and looked for what could be in the center of the empty roll of bubble wrap. She says "I know how you like to pop them."
For example, the title he gave a certain book was "The Origin of Species", not "Origin of the Species".
Now socks are not really that weird, however the quantity was somewhat. I receieved a total of 17 pairs of socks from my parents.
RMS Titanicn, Inc.?
Shoudln't that be GNU/Titanic, Inc.?
I got a supscribtion to the ZDnet newsletter! Seriously!
When my daughter was 3 3/4 my mum gave her the usual scary bag of xmas goodies. Contents included 4 tubes of superglue this time around..
My weird gift this Christmas was an ice scrapper.
I like in Florida.
But I love my parents, all the same.
-no broken link
A co-worker of mine gave the best gift that I had heard of to date. His girlfriend
Whoa...I thought that was the end of your post. I was thinking "wow, that's a pretty open relationship."