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Ballmer - Trusting Vista and Battling Google

Carnivore24 wrote to mention a C|Net article discussing Steve Ballmer's morning keynote at Gartner's Symposium/ITxpo. From the article: "'I have never, honestly, thrown a chair in my life,' Microsoft's CEO said ... Ballmer also touched on a variety of areas related to Microsoft's competition with Google. The software maker will compete 'the good old-fashioned way, with innovation,' he said. 'There are many things--who knows?--Google may or may not do. If you read the papers today, other than curing cancer, Google will do everything.'"

265 comments

  1. If by cancer... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    he meant Microsoft, then more power to Google!

    1. Re:If by cancer... by chrisxkelley · · Score: 1

      well considering that you're on /., its probably closer to "all of us hate microsoft because we are older, more qualified computer users who simply, have used microsoft for too long"

      :]

    2. Re:If by cancer... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "well considering that you're on /., its probably closer to "all of us hate microsoft because we are older, more qualified computer users who simply, have used microsoft for too long"

      I think the AC prior to you was referring to that clueless MS suckup John C. Dvorak's recent piece of tripe in pcmag.com where he insinuated that MS gets a bad rep in the press because Windows is too complicated for them to figure out.

      http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,1895,1872175,00.as p
      Quote: "This reality is not going to change. In fact it will only get worse as technology coverage is handed to newer, less-qualified observers who simply cannot use a Microsoft Windows computer. With no Microsoft-centric frame of reference, Microsoft cannot look good. The company essentially brought this on itself with various PR and marketing policies that discouraged knowledgeable coverage. I'll save those complaints for a future gripe session."

    3. Re:If by cancer... by killjoe · · Score: 2, Informative

      DIdn't Bill Gates called open source cancer? Maybe that's Ballmers next mission, curing cancer.

      --
      evil is as evil does
    4. Re:If by cancer... by SeventyBang · · Score: 1



      If not cancer, Ballmer's got to be popping a vein.

      All of the time CNN was showing hurricane image data imposed on maps today, there was "Google Earth" in the upper right-hand corner of the TV screen.

      I can only imagine what kind of scheming was going on in Redmond to find a way to make a substitution.


    5. Re:If by cancer... by shrewd · · Score: 2, Funny

      i would say something bad about steve ballmer... but then he might decide to FUCKING KILL me.....

      you can see the bind im in.....

    6. Re:If by cancer... by hdparm · · Score: 1

      Not open source, they have no problem taking from it. GPL is cancer for Microsoft.

  2. Google To Cure Cancer! by hsjones · · Score: 5, Funny

    Sorry, Steve. I have it on good authority that this is also in their roadmap.

    1. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by enrico_suave · · Score: 5, Funny

      what do you know...

      http://cancer.google.com/ resolves! (no i'm kidding, don't bother)

      --
      Build Your Own PVR/HTPC news, reviews, &
    2. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

      you can also try visiting

      http://cancer.microsoft.com/

      (except that this link GIVES you cancer)

    3. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I can hear Ballmer calming down 10 minutes after his fit of rage he is saying: "Now what am I going to sit on?"

    4. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by Spetiam · · Score: 3, Funny

      /me waits for someone to sincerely suggest Google can cure cancer.

      Seriously, Google seems to have a cult following at times.

      Now watch me get modded down.......

      Q.E.D. :)

    5. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by Eberlin · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Microsoft claims Linux is Cancer
      Google uses Linux
      Microsoft repeats claims that Google cures Cancer
      To cure cancer, you make cancer go away.

      Therefore Microsoft claims Google will make Linux go away.

      Since I like Linux, should I be using MSN search then?

    6. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by Philip+K+Dickhead · · Score: 1

      Q: "Now what am I going to sit on?"
        A: "A VERY big chair, Mr. Ballmer."

      --
      "Speaking the Truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act." -- George Orwell
    7. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by BBobberson · · Score: 1

      anyone want to bet Google announces it's cancer-curing feature next April 1st?

      --
      12 steps is too long. My ideal plan is: 1) Quit 2) Relapse 3) ??? 4) Profit!
    8. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by dAzED1 · · Score: 2, Funny

      yes.

      wait, no.

      wait...crap! Can't use yahoo, what with the whole China bit. Who's left now other than those 3?

    9. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by Tinidril · · Score: 5, Interesting

      OK, I'll bite. :)

      The massive clustering infrastructure google has developed sure could help with protein analysis. I would bet that their idle cycles could easily match or exceed what is being done today with United Devices or Folding at home.

      They may not cure cancer, but I could see them partnering to help those that will.

      --
      XML is the best data format; unless your data needs to be read or written by a human or a computer.
    10. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by Senzei · · Score: 0, Offtopic
      Now watch me get modded down.......

      Hah, and at this point you have a -1 overrated.

      I really try to think that I am not strictly smarter than most people, but I have had so many prove me wrong...

      --
      Slashdot: Where anecdotes and generalizations can be freely substituted for facts, logic, or intelligence
    11. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by bladesjester · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Contract out your use of evil. Use dogpile

      That way your hands remain clean :P

      --
      Everything I need to know I learned by killing smart people and eating their brains.
    12. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Even then, with our luck it'll be in beta for years until they can get their pigeonrank algorithm straightened out as well as their HiDeHiDeHo lunar base set up.

    13. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by tomhudson · · Score: 1
      "'I have never, honestly, thrown a chair in my life,'
      How about dishonestly throwing a chair?

      Or maybe "That wasn't a chair - that was an Aeron, you ignorant clod!"

      Or "I don't do that. I have minions ... uh ... microserfs ...I mean ... employees, that's it - employees - who handle manual labour! I'm the fucking boss, you idiot!"

    14. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      See Microsoft is a good company after all... now that they made the cancer remark, Google will stike back with "Hey look, if you just index the cells by their structure you can get the cancer cells sorted out really quickly." and that's one less problem for the world.

      Microsoft... we make our competitors solve the world's problems.

    15. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by Captain+Splendid · · Score: 1
      Jeez, get it right!

      1. Google cures cancer 2. ???? 3. Profit!

      Can't believe I was the one who had to do that....

      --
      Linux, you magnificent bastard, I read the fucking manual!
    16. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I hope not! That would be real bad taste with all the people with cancer.

    17. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by Sponge+Bath · · Score: 2, Funny
      How about dishonestly throwing a chair?

      Maybe he threw a stool.
      Monkeys have been known to throw stools now and then.

    18. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by McCart42 · · Score: 2, Insightful

      And they have. The google toolbar offers a service called Google Compute which allows the user's computer to work on Folding@home units.

      http://toolbar.google.com/dc/faq_dc.html

      --
      "I may be quite wrong." - Socrates
    19. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by Slashdiddly · · Score: 1

      http://google.org/ does resolve and it just might mention cancer one day

    20. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Or tossing a chair... I wonder if he pounded his fist on a podium while announcing his innocence.

      I've heard he has a secret chamber in the back of his office where he bites the heads off of baby penguins when he needs to unwind.

    21. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by davecarlotub · · Score: 1

      for the first time in a year i really wish i had a mod point

    22. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by shadowbearer · · Score: 1


        Not to mention that projects such as googleprint that can help direct researchers to relevant printed works will help advance research...

      SB

      --
      It's old. The more humans I meet, the more I like my cats. At least they are honest.
    23. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by shadowbearer · · Score: 1


        Metaphorical stools make Ballmer king of the dungpile.

      SB

      --
      It's old. The more humans I meet, the more I like my cats. At least they are honest.
    24. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Already happening. About half of Folding@Home's computers ARE from people running the Google Compute project from their Google Toolbar. Sergei Brin, at least, is definitely interested in curing cancer. I've talked to him about it.

  3. Sh*thead Ballmer does another dance for us. by smagruder · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Who believes this screwup and his FUD any more?

    --
    Steve Magruder, Metro Foodist
    1. Re:Sh*thead Ballmer does another dance for us. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'm pretty sure you didn't actually RTFA, but I didn't see any FUD in there. Looked like he was playing nice and talking about what he likes about their products. I didn't see anything about a comparison, certainly nothing FUD-worthy.

      I don't see how your comment could be considered insightful.

    2. Re:Sh*thead Ballmer does another dance for us. by DigiShaman · · Score: 1

      To be fair, Ballmer at the very least is over zelous and passionate (and nutty). But, such behavior doesn't mean it transforms so easy into anger. I dunno, maybe the whole chair throwing thing is BS. :-/

      --
      Life is not for the lazy.
    3. Re:Sh*thead Ballmer does another dance for us. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      Oh, I totally believe him. From TFA,

      On software licensing, Ballmer said the company has made strides in simplifying its terms, but more work is needed. "The simplest thing we have today is our enterprise agreement. Used to take two years of postgrad education (to understand it), now it's a ninth grade education..." he said.

      This means that as soon as he grows up a little more, even Ballmer will be able to understand his own company's licensing policy.

      Listening to a Ballmer interview is like watching Saddam stand trial on TV. Regardless of what you ask him, he's going to push his own agenda. Maybe the media still believes him, but even there he's lost a lot of credibility. I don't have a single "regular" friend that wants or needs Longhorn. I've even asked both of them. :-)

    4. Re:Sh*thead Ballmer does another dance for us. by achurch · · Score: 1
      Who believes this screwup and his FUD any more?

      Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers!

      At least, I can't think of any other explanation for the continuing proliferation of Windows software . . .

  4. Rootin for Google by LilGuy · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I'll root for google up until the day they become too big for their (b)riches, at which point I'll root for the next underdog.

    VIVA AMERICA!

    --

    You're nothing; like me.
    1. Re:Rootin for Google by lucky130 · · Score: 1

      Is anyone else afraid that, if (or when) Google wins this conflict, they'll just turn into the next evil computer mega-corporation? Mottos aside, that's a lot of power to trust anyone with.

    2. Re:Rootin for Google by Morgalyn · · Score: 1

      I think we have at least another decade of googley goodness to look forward to. If you spend some time studying great systems and corporations that were started by idealistic people, you will find that they continue to behave in a wonderful way until the leadership is taken over by someone with a shark mind (which happens a lot to businesses.. once they become successful, and then experience some retirement or something of key leaders, they replace them with 'equivalents' from the sector, which are usually very bottom-line minded sociopathic CEOs). It's unfortunate. But at least as long as the groupthink at Google stays the way it is, we should be ok :)

      --
      You say you got a real solution
      Well, you know
      We'd all love to see the plan
      (The Beatles)
    3. Re:Rootin for Google by LilGuy · · Score: 1

      Not to be pessimistic but I can't fathom how any large multi-national corporation can survive and be saintly. I think the two are mutually exclusive.

      Once you beat the crap out of every opponent and get governments to bend over for you, what would be the point in risking the almighty dollar over a few measly complaints from peons? So you head down that dark lonely path.

      --

      You're nothing; like me.
    4. Re:Rootin for Google by ozbird · · Score: 2, Funny

      VIVA AMERICA!

      America's the underdog?!

    5. Re:Rootin for Google by Spetiam · · Score: 1

      I hardly think Google is an underdog. Perhaps they are, by comparison to Microsoft, but Google has not a small amount of weight to throw around.

      Just out of curiosity, did you root for Microsoft in its early days? By all reasonable accounts I've seen, MS was the underdog then.

    6. Re:Rootin for Google by Ucklak · · Score: 1

      I don't think anyone rooted for Microsoft in the early days. People freely traded DOS and MS issued a fatwa that the computer geeks that are promoting it are 'pirating' their software and ordered that they pay for it (LOL).
      One of the things that made the IBM-PC attractive was the ability to expand which was limiting on the Commodores (yes you could expand but not at the level of the ole' PC).
      The fact that MS-DOS was easy to copy just made it the easiest choice to use as an OS.
      It's the developers and their third party apps that made Microsoft an attractive OS to use.

      --
      if you steal from one source, that is plagiarism, if you steal from many, well, that's just research.
    7. Re:Rootin for Google by sphealey · · Score: 1

      > I don't think anyone rooted for
      > Microsoft in the early days.

      What do you consider the early days? Certainly in the early days of business personal computing (say 1984-1994), Microsoft was seen as the ally helping the enchained corporate manager fight against the evil, controlling clutches of the evil Data Processing Department. Read the trade press of the time - Microsoft was spoken of as an ally (if not a friend) and partner.

      sPh

    8. Re:Rootin for Google by gmack · · Score: 1

      They may get big but as long as everything they have runs on open standards how are they going to be evil about it?

      There is no room for lock in here so if they start to suck everyone will simply jump ship and use whoever has the new improved version of whatever it is they want.

    9. Re:Rootin for Google by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'll continue to root for Google even if they "be come too big for their briches" because at least they area't trying to lock the entire computer industry into proprietary formats.

      G.

    10. Re:Rootin for Google by cmacb · · Score: 2, Insightful

      You have a bad memory.

      Microsoft intentionally looked the other way regarding piracy, even of their own software. They did not join the BSA (a group that fights piracy) because they only wanted to selectively enforce their license, allowing individuals and small companies to spread the use of and become dependent on their products and then only clamping down once such organizations had full pockets. This is right out of the drug pusher's playbook.

      BSA wanted to in fact conduct raids on even small companies engaged in piracy so as to not let them head down the wrong road. BSA's efforts were in fact thwarted by Microsoft who would not participate with them in prosecutions. To do so would have actually slowed the adoption of products such as Word and Excel which were still underdogs to Wordperfect and Lotus 1-2-3.

      The other thing many people forget is that Microsoft was singing a tune that sounded a lot like open standards back then. Windows was going to make everyone's software work seamlessly together and interface easily to external hardware. This in fact happened to a certain extent, only the interfaces were never fully documented and whenever Microsoft had competitors, the interfaces magically became slower or more buggy for the competing products.

      Finally, they did everything they could to slow TCP/IP adoption, preferring instead to push special Microsoft protocols with a view toward being the monopoly for what we now call the Internet.

      Fortunately most of their efforts in this regard ultimately failed, but they count on people's short memories, ignorance, and the turnover in staff in the industry to perpetuate their preposterous claim as innovators.

      I rooted for Microsoft in the early days. But I also paid enough attention to know when that was no longer appropriate. It's certainly not appropriate now.

      As for Google, rich as they are, it is too soon to call them bad guys. Just having a lot of money to spend doesn't make you bad, it's all in how you spend it. My hope is that, due to the nature of their business model, Google will avoid the temptation that Microsoft succumbed to, namely, of getting lazy and attempting to lock-in a captive customer base using underhanded tactics.

  5. The good old fashioned way? by UnderDark · · Score: 5, Funny

    Um, wern't the "old fashioned" ways using teams of hired mercs to wage priovate wars with? Or am I just reading too many M-rated books?

    1. Re:The good old fashioned way? by infochuck · · Score: 2, Funny

      There's a ratings system for books now?

    2. Re:The good old fashioned way? by UnderDark · · Score: 1

      Not *yet*, but It was my subtlely said notion of the slippery splope "violent video game" laws seem to be on.

  6. Here comes the obvious. by The+Shrewd+Dude · · Score: 1, Interesting

    Yet another story to fuel the anger of Slashdotters towards Microsoft and to hail Google as abosolutely good.

    The sound you hear the is the hundred Slashdotters typing anti-Microsoft and pro-Google remarks at lightning speed.

    Doesn't anyone ever get tired of this and want some actual NEWS?

    1. Re:Here comes the obvious. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Did you notice they update the polls less often and cut out book reviews too? Hmm.

    2. Re:Here comes the obvious. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      > Doesn't anyone ever get tired of this and want some actual NEWS?

      In all honesty (really!), I've been reading off and on here since the later half of its name described the people running it. I've *NEVER* come here for NEWS. EVER. Hell, I even think the people who actually pay the bills have some real news sites.

    3. Re:Here comes the obvious. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      It's the evolving demographics of the typical Slashdot reader. Profile of the average slashdotter:
      • male
      • between the age of 16 and 22
      • student
      • employment less than full time, typically in retail
      • technical knowledge - operation and maintenance of household grade appliances

      From the above profile, it is easy to see why topics about video games, music, and "rebellion" against authority are so popular here. Keep this profile in mind when looking at comments. Do they seem a little superficial or naive? When you imagine the hundred Slashdotters typing anti-Microsoft and pro-Google, do you see grown-ups or do you see kids?

    4. Re:Here comes the obvious. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The mentality is anywhere programmers or 'computer scientists' are nowadays. Our campus is infested with google cock worshippers and we're <30 mins from the center of the evil empire (ms). That being said, there is some good reason but primarily I think it has to do with the mindset of those involved in IT

    5. Re:Here comes the obvious. by rtb61 · · Score: 1

      Slashdotters having fun is evil? well I suppose in the microsoft fud universe it is but in google reality it's penguin cool ;-). Besides I bet it wasn't hundreds, it was thousands, most just couldn't type fast enough and someone else beat them to their comment ;-).

      --
      Chaos - everything, everywhere, everywhen
  7. Chair tossing... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    'I have never, honestly, thrown a chair in my life,'

    First stage: Denial

    1. Re:Chair tossing... by giove · · Score: 1

      Though I like this concept. Making a public presentation on things one hasn't done. Think of the possibilities were M$ is concerned.

      There could be week-long conferences with topics such as innovation, product testing,...

    2. Re:Chair tossing... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      'I have never, honestly, thrown a chair in my life,'

      'First stage: Denial'

      He is not denying anything, he just said that he never threw a chair while standing in an "honest instance".

      He said nothing about throwing chairs while screaming lies such as promising to kill a certain company...

    3. Re:Chair tossing... by xeon4life · · Score: 0, Redundant

      Second stage: Anger

      Wait...is he going BACKWARDS!?

      --
      Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. -- Larry Wall
    4. Re:Chair tossing... by dangitman · · Score: 1, Funny
      That's not the full quotation. Taken from a collection of his internal memos published in Ballmer Unleashed: Eye of the Primate by Dwight Schloopenheimer, Steve goes on to say:

      "I have never, honestly, thrown a chair in my life, but I find dwarf tossing to be a very relaxing hobby."

      --
      ... and then they built the supercollider.
    5. Re:Chair tossing... by kinglink · · Score: 1

      What you expected Microsoft to follow the industry standards of having problems after their wonderful work in the other standarized areas?

    6. Re:Chair tossing... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No, it's not denial. Anyone in power, and by that I mean perceived "absolute power", thinks they can get away with denying that which many have witnessed, and on many occasions.
      I do not know if the man has "thrown a chair" as a way of showing those present that he is a bully. Absolute Power corrupts absolutely.
      What to do? Perhaps Microsoft should get rid of him, but... do they need such a man to keep the 10,000 windows programmers "headed in right direction" , and producing decent code each day?
      Why is it that Companies think they have to have a bully around, that cannot on his own, do the work that is necessary for the Company to serve it's customers? Produce a good product?
      Does someone in authority think the working masses at Company "X" will not "work" as opposed to "slack" without a S.O.B around?
      This applied to Worldcom, with Bernie Ebbers accusing the employees of stealing the coffee, and taking too long to walk around the walking track at Worldcom HQ in Clinton, MS.
      What do they call that "style" of "management", Micromanagement?
      Even with Bernie Ebbers example, winding up in jail, micromanagers are never deterred, it is so easy to nitpick their way through what ever part of the day they choose work. (They don't work all day, being a S.O.B. is only a way to make everyone glad when they disappear.)

    7. Re:Chair tossing... by Pyrrus · · Score: 1

      Is there a dishonest way to throw a chair?

    8. Re:Chair tossing... by KillShill · · Score: 1

      he's absolutely speaking the truth.

      he never HONESTLY threw a chair.

      all the times he's done it, it was dishonestly.

      --
      Science : Proprietary , Knowledge : Open Source
    9. Re:Chair tossing... by Landshark17 · · Score: 0

      First stage: Denial

      Second stage: Anger.

      I don't want be around when Monkeyboy goesinto phase two. But it would be entertaining.

      --
      This sig is false.
    10. Re:Chair tossing... by quarkscat · · Score: 1

      Sorry, but that isn't denial. It is a grammatical misquote of "I have never honestly thrown a chair in my life."

      Not unlike some other "famous" quotes:
      "I am not a (convicted) crook!" Richard Nixon (Pres.);
      "The USA does (not) negotiate with terrorists!" Ronald Reagan (Pres.);
      "We can(not) prove that Saddam has WMD." Richard Cheney (V.Pres.).

  8. Can any Asian or Dutch /.'er confirm this??? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Quote "People say 'I'm going to MSN you' in Holland and Korea"

    1. Re:Can any Asian or Dutch /.'er confirm this??? by korea · · Score: 1

      MSN is prevalent in Asia. Not all Asians speak Korean, by the way.

      --

      --

      "pain is weakness leaving the body."
    2. Re:Can any Asian or Dutch /.'er confirm this??? by parbot · · Score: 1

      I live in The Netherlands. And yes, over 95% of my contacts in Kopete use MSN. Also at work (ISP) MSN is the standard.

      "To msn" is a verb over here (msn'en).

    3. Re:Can any Asian or Dutch /.'er confirm this??? by J0nne · · Score: 2, Informative

      If they're referring to MSN Messenger, yes. Nobody uses their crappy portal & search, though. MSN Messenger took off in Europe, because it's preinstalled on windows XP (and has nag screens that almost force you to sign up), and there was virtually no competition. ICQ was used, but not that much. AIM never got used in Europe, being an American thing (AOL only recently became an ISP in Europe). But people are growing sick of the ads and extra tabs in the interface, so alternative apps like Gaim and Trillian are slowly getting used more. And once you have a multinetwork IM, nothing's stopping you from signing up on jabber or something else, while keeping your current contacts. MSN's success in Europe and Asia was because it got shipped with the OS before any competitor got a large enough user base (and everyone had a hotmail address anyway).

  9. Honestly... by Dante+Shamest · · Score: 5, Funny
    "I have never, honestly, thrown a chair in my life,"

    What he means folks, is that he has thrown a chair dishonestly.

    1. Re:Honestly... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Bet his fat arse has broken one or two though.

    2. Re:Honestly... by linumax · · Score: 4, Funny

      Nope! He meant it was not a single chair. He is actually capable of throwing more at once.

    3. Re:Honestly... by kidgenius · · Score: 5, Funny

      Ah...the ever deadly double-chair throw. Ballmer has more ninja skills than I gave him credit for.

    4. Re:Honestly... by Moofie · · Score: 1

      That's OK. I'm pretty sure I could take him out with Pen Missile.

      --
      Why yes, I AM a rocket scientist!
    5. Re:Honestly... by ZachPruckowski · · Score: 1

      "I have never, honestly, thrown a chair in my life"
      Yeah, you see a toss is like picking it up to head level, and hurling it. I bet all he could manage was a granny-toss. By the rules of American football, that's an illegal forward pass, and "illegal" is sort of a harsher form of "dishonest", which is, of course, a synonym for Microsoft.

    6. Re:Honestly... by sharkey · · Score: 1
      He is actually capable of throwing more at once.

      Well, yeah. He is a Kwyjibo, after all! They're pretty big, I hear.

      --

      --
      "Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
    7. Re:Honestly... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Aha! I have found out your Slashdot ID, Strongbad!

      Much Crap,

      Anonymous Coward

    8. Re:Honestly... by serutan · · Score: 1

      Well yeah, he threw the chair, but he didn't inhale.

      "If you read the papers today, other than curing cancer, Google will do everything." ...sort of like .Net three years ago?

  10. This just in... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Fidelity Research Group has found the key to curing cancer lies within "the matrix" of webpages indexed by google. When MD5 sums and other hashing technology are used to create a 3d visulation of a "cube" with the translation algorithem or "key" hidden in the verticies of the cube's corners. Sources close to FRG indicate that "[google] has cured cancer!!!111onr"

    1. Re:This just in... by trlblzr · · Score: 1

      But if it uses MD5, won't someone be able to create a false cure and inject it into google's matrix, thus dooming civilization?

      They should probably use SHA1 ;)

  11. Well, since you mentioned it... by dubdays · · Score: 1

    If you read the papers today, other than curing cancer, Google will do everything.

    Sounds like the media has it right for a change.

  12. Yeah right. by failure-man · · Score: 4, Interesting

    "I have never, honestly, thrown a chair in my life."

    Sure Steve, and I'm not the guy who hacked the announcements system when I was in high school. Face it. It's what you're famous for. Make use of it.

    1. Re:Yeah right. by rebelcan · · Score: 1

      He didn't throw it, he used his FUD-tastic psychic ninja skills to levitate it.

      --
      God is dead -- Nietzsche
      Nietzsche is dead -- God
      Zombie Nietzsche lives! -- Zombie Nietzsche
    2. Re:Yeah right. by bill_mcgonigle · · Score: 1

      You're right.

      I heard that one time Steve Balmer was eating at a diner and when some dude dropped a spoon he killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw Steve Balmer totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened X-Windows.

      --
      My God, it's Full of Source!
      OUTSIDE_IP=$(dig +short my.ip @outsideip.net)
  13. Developers Developers Developers! by camelmix · · Score: 3, Funny

    Wow, MS a bit scared of the little search engine that could. And my good old competetion we mean being bullies and playing monopoly.

  14. What is Ballmer's Slashdot ID? by obender · · Score: 5, Funny
    If you read the papers today, other than curing cancer, Google will do everything.

    From the comment above I suspect he's been reading Slashot on a regular basis lately.

    1. Re:What is Ballmer's Slashdot ID? by ddx+Christ · · Score: 1

      That's the first thing I thought after reading the article summary. It was definitely worth a good laugh. Isn't there a bit truth to it, after all? : )

    2. Re:What is Ballmer's Slashdot ID? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      From the comment above I suspect he's been reading Slashot on a regular basis lately.

      I doubt it. Apparently, most of his time is spent eating flesh, or sometimes dancing.

    3. Re:What is Ballmer's Slashdot ID? by Viper+Daimao · · Score: 1
      --
      "In the game of life, someone always has to lose. To me, if life were fair, that someone would always be Oklahoma." -DKR
    4. Re:What is Ballmer's Slashdot ID? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No, I Balmer would never read slashdot, not to say post a message - even as an Annonymous Coward.

  15. In other news..... by 8127972 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Steve Ballmer was quoted as saying "Fucking Mark Lukovsky a is a fucking pussy. I'm going to fucking bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I'm going to fucking kill Mark Lukovsky for starting that chair rumor!" after he denied throwing a chair.

    --
    This is my opinion. To make sure you don't steal it, it's covered by the DMCA.
    1. Re:In other news..... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      ...and then he threw an ottoman.

    2. Re:In other news..... by seanvaandering · · Score: 1

      and the other side of the coin shows:

      Late Friday, Ballmer issued a statement disputing Lucovsky's declaration. "Mark Lucovsky's account of our conversation last November is a gross exaggeration of what actually took place," Ballmer said. "Mark's decision to leave was disappointing and I urged him strongly to change his mind. But his characterization of that meeting is not accurate."

      Obviously wasn't strong enough - next time use a table or the desk?

  16. Fear Steve! by Emrikol · · Score: 1

    I'm afraid that he's going to fucking kill me.

    --
    You're all bastards!
    1. Re:Fear Steve! by Jonnty · · Score: 1

      Don't worry. Remember, there are always 3 things in his line of sight he wants to Fucking Kill(TM). http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Steve_Ballmer

      --
      Any grammatical or spelling errors above are for comic effect, and do not signify imperfection in the writer.
    2. Re:Fear Steve! by RoboPimp_3000 · · Score: 1
      Hey I never knew you could post to slashdot directly from the GNOME desktop

      http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:Gnomehint.png

  17. oh they are helping cure cancer too by museumpeace · · Score: 2, Insightful

    I don't know many cancer researchers who don't use Google, Google news or Google Scholar to keep tabs on their competition.

    --
    SLASHDOT: news for people who can't concentrate on work or have no life at all and got tired of yelling back at the TV.
    1. Re:oh they are helping cure cancer too by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Errrmmm...the 'competition' is cancer. If that's not what you meant, then you are weird.

    2. Re:oh they are helping cure cancer too by RoboPimp_3000 · · Score: 1

      Well they are all probably using Microsoft products too :)

    3. Re:oh they are helping cure cancer too by Alef · · Score: 1
      I don't know many cancer researchers who don't use Google, Google news or Google Scholar to keep tabs on their competition.

      ...and how many cancer researchers do you know at all?

    4. Re:oh they are helping cure cancer too by museumpeace · · Score: 1

      One quite well and a few others are just aquaintences via my synagogue. My son worked one summer in the lab of a friend who had discovered that some stem cells have both an attraction to glioblastoma and the motility/mobility to migrate into contact with the cancerous cells preferentially. Her work could lead to ways to deliver anti-cancer drugs to otherwise inoperable cancers. She has access to all the on-line medical publications you can name but little time to sift through the flood of papers for the most relevant stuff. Google is hardly her primary tool but its come in handy to fill in gaps or go in unusual directions.

      --
      SLASHDOT: news for people who can't concentrate on work or have no life at all and got tired of yelling back at the TV.
    5. Re:oh they are helping cure cancer too by museumpeace · · Score: 1

      there are a thousand good therapy ideas chasing a hundred sources of cancer research funding. You bet there is competition. I am not weird, you just do get out very often.

      --
      SLASHDOT: news for people who can't concentrate on work or have no life at all and got tired of yelling back at the TV.
  18. I have that tossed chair over here... by sgtboost · · Score: 0

    and it vows to quit and move to google first chance it gets.

  19. It's built right in! by Valacosa · · Score: 4, Insightful

    From the article:
    "...such as efforts to improve the Web browser and make the operating system more resilient."
    Uh - could I uninstall one and keep the other? I doubt it.

    --
    "Live as if you'll die tomorrow." Ridiculous. You could die later today.
    1. Re:It's built right in! by MrScience · · Score: 1

      You want IE on Unix? The man page for that has been around... :)

      --

      You quitting proves that the karma kap worked. The most annoying of the whores shut up. --CmdrTaco

    2. Re:It's built right in! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No you can't, Windows is an integral part of Internet Explorer.

  20. hehe by JeanBaptiste · · Score: 2, Funny

    "'I have never, honestly, thrown a chair in my life,' "

    But once I did see a man dance like a monkey...

    1. Re:hehe by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I can see it now:

      Donkey Kong with Balmer subbed in, throwing chairs over his head instead of barrels.

    2. Re:hehe by geekboy642 · · Score: 1

      Gaah! My eyes!
      The googles, they do nuthingggg!!!

      --
      Just another "DOJ fascist authoritarian totalitarian bootlicker" -- Zeio
  21. Chair, hell by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I work for Steve Ballmer, so I am reading these comments with great interest and no small amusement. He most certainly did not throw a chair. He threw his whole fucking credenza into the hallway and kung-FUDded it to splinters.

  22. Cancer? by utexaspunk · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Hey, google could be working on that, too...

  23. Microsoft as IBM... by Jonnty · · Score: 1

    Hey, Balmer, remember IBM? And remember how they never really got into this 'PC' thing, and you took over their role as 'very big computer company?' If I were you, I'd start doing more Internet stuff rather than trying to convince yourselves other people 'MSN' each other. Of course, MSN may be some sort of offensive slang, I dunno.

    --
    Any grammatical or spelling errors above are for comic effect, and do not signify imperfection in the writer.
  24. Well... by Sheetrock · · Score: 3, Insightful
    I think that, as yesterday demonstrated, the future of computing should not rely entirely on access to online services. That alone may very well determine the winner in this struggle.

    For decades we've had to face losing important work to power outages. But Internet outages are just as menacing -- and indeed, where one can get a battery to power their digital workhorses there is no such analog for Internet power. Not to mention the inherent threat of viruses spyware or hackers that comes from Internet connectivity, or frankly the less than cohesive user experience and unconsistent interface websites present.

    Despite being oft (and many times unfairly) maligned by self-proclaimed computer experts Microsoft has irrevocably broken the yoke of the client-server relationship that has held computing back and is single-handedly responsible for the microcomputer revolution. The last twenty-five years would not have been impossible without them, and it's pure fantasy to suggest otherwise.

    Consequently, I don't think it will be a question of whether or not we will be using Vista but merely how Microsoft will have managed to improve upon the mostly unimproveable experience of Windows XP. If they compete with anything, it will be their own success.

    --

    Try not. Do or do not, there is no try.
    -- Dr. Spock, stardate 2822-3.




    1. Re:Well... by GreyWolf3000 · · Score: 1

      Consequently, I don't think it will be a question of whether or not we will be using Vista but merely how Microsoft will have managed to improve upon the mostly unimproveable experience of Windows XP. If they compete with anything, it will be their own success.

      Umm...riiight...

      What are you basing that conclusion on?

      I mean, even taking the assumption that XP even provides a good experience, that is very, very, far from 'mostly unimprovable.' I've seen some interesting claims made by OS zealots, but no amount of reasoned, salient presentation can hide the outrageous substance of that claim..

      --
      Slashdot: Where people pretend to be twice as smart as they really are by behaving like children.
    2. Re:Well... by Vellmont · · Score: 1


      But Internet outages are just as menacing -- and indeed, where one can get a battery to power their digital workhorses there is no such analog for Internet power.

      And how many companies rely on batteries or generators to continue work when the power goes out? Hardly any. Some ISPs, the various telephone companies, hospitals, other business shuts down and everyone goes home when the power goes out. Some companies rely on phone service for their entire business. I bet they have no backup plan in place in the phones go down. Internet access really isn't all that different from any other mission critical service. Companies that have enough money and rely on it have redundant internet connections. Everyone else just waits until service is restored.

      --
      AccountKiller
    3. Re:Well... by mcrbids · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Consequently, I don't think it will be a question of whether or not we will be using Vista but merely how Microsoft will have managed to improve upon the mostly unimproveable experience of Windows XP. If they compete with anything, it will be their own success.

      Uh, you're kidding, right?

      Right?

      I spent 4 hours yesterday helping a techno-neophyte (but good friend from high school) get his wireless card to work with my wifi hotspot. A frustrating afternoon, where we discovered that

      1) Windows Update, run manually, didn't work because of some ActiveX error that repeated attempts to fix did nothing and never could be made to work.

      2) Windows Update, run "automatically" in the background, resulted in updates that wouldn't install, and there was no indication as to why.

      3) The wireless card, when connected, with all the settings for DHCP and so on set correctly, still wouldn't update the routing table when "connected".

      4) Windows Antispyware, AdAware, and McAffee Virus scanner all came up clean.

      5) He'd used the system very little, and spent $1,500 on it about a year ago, and was pretty upset when *nothing* seemed to work. (as I would be, if we were talking about a TV, stereo system, or similar appliance in the same price range)

      There were many more - this is just what I remember.


      1) How about making sure that Windows Vista ... works?

      2) How about making the "Administrator" account - an actual administrator account? I've *never* gotten a "permission denied" error, when doing something as root on a Linux system. WTF??!?

      3) How about making Windows Update work without stupid, insecure, bug-prone ActiveX hacks (which you are supposed to disable?!?) ???

      4) How about (re?)designing Windows so that the entire "Documents and Settings" folder can be copied, thus retaining all Outlook/Outlook express settings and data without having to do stupid import stuff? It's way retarded that you can't just copy over the "Documents and Settings" folder and have *any* confidence of having effectively grabbed all the users' data..


      I'm sure you'll see plenty more in the replies to this post...

      --
      I have no problem with your religion until you decide it's reason to deprive others of the truth.
    4. Re:Well... by JasonKChapman · · Score: 5, Insightful
      Despite being oft (and many times unfairly) maligned by self-proclaimed computer experts Microsoft has irrevocably broken the yoke of the client-server relationship that has held computing back and is single-handedly responsible for the microcomputer revolution. The last twenty-five years would not have been impossible without them, and it's pure fantasy to suggest otherwise.

      That's a bit revisionist. Microsoft rode the personal computer wave. It didn't create it. Z-80-based CP/M machines had already broken the client-server relationship and had proven that stand-alone, even portable, computers would find business users waiting with open arms. Those of us who were selling, ready-to-go with WordStar, SuperCalc, and custom dBase applications, had already seen the future. It was coming no matter which OS came down the pipe.

      And if any company can be said to be single-handedly responsible for the microcomputer revolution, it would be IBM. It was the weight of that name that got the second wave of people believing that there just might be something to this "personal computer thing."

      --
      Sorry, I'm a writer. That makes you raw material.
    5. Re:Well... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Mod parent up, grandparent down; some of us remember the abundant CP/M machines, and the IBM PC making serious inroads into business thanks in a large part to Lotus 1-2-3. Nobody heard of Microsoft 25 years ago, they weren't even a blip on the map.

      I agree with the grandparent post, however, that "the last twenty-five years would not have been impossible without them [Microsoft]." The microcomputer "revolution" would have arrived differently without Microsoft, but it would have arrived.

    6. Re:Well... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Informative

      OK, a little offtopic, but if I can save someone some hassle later on...man, I hate that windowsupdate BS. Here's what I remember I did to solve it...

      You MUST leave the WindowsUpdate service in automatic mode for windowsupdate.com to work properly. You can use the control panel and set it to not do automatic updates, but the service itself must be automatic. And no, that bit of information is NOWHERE to be found in the suggested fixes for the ActiveX error that windowsupdate.com actually shows. Stupidest. Bug. Ever. Also, if you have it set to manual mode, and start the downloads yourself, they have a tendency to fail. You need to: 1) set the service to automatic 2) delete the temporary folder in which the downloads reside and 3) re-visit windowsupdate.com IN THAT ORDER, or it fails again.

      Yep, I ran into that one before :).

    7. Re:Well... by killjoe · · Score: 1

      Internet is pretty reliable by and large but that's not what Ballmer is freaking out about. He is freaking out about the fact that web apps make life easier for corporations to write and deploy apps in their internal network and makes windows redundant in the corporate IT systems.

      RIght now if the corporate network went down everybody stops working anyway, no email, no web, no database, no shared files, nothing. It's in that context that web apps hurt windows. If linux ever started spreading on the corporate desktop Ballmer would start shitting brick the size of kansas.

      --
      evil is as evil does
    8. Re:Well... by FST777 · · Score: 1

      there is no such analog for Internet power

      There is, actually. It's called "off-line browsing" and it has been a feature in Internet Explorer since ages.

      Seriously though, I fail to see why certain typed data into a web-form would be lost when the connection goes down. On the other hand, if Google or some other innovative company is releasing a web-based interface to Office applications, it will be server-client selfhosted for the enterprise. There are far too many companies that just refuse to have their critical documents stored on the other side of the world. Google is already offering custom, localhosted, search-servers.

      --
      Free beer is never free as in speech. Free speech is always free as in beer.
    9. Re:Well... by tylernt · · Score: 1

      "Microsoft will have managed to improve upon the mostly unimproveable experience of Windows XP"

      Dunno about that. I while ago I installed XP on my PC at work. After about two weeks, I managed to vastly improve the speed, responsiveness, and stability of my installation... by wiping the hard drive and putting Windows 2000 back on it.

      Never looked back.

      --
      DRM 'manages access' in the same way that a prison 'manages freedom'
    10. Re:Well... by loyukfai · · Score: 1
      4) How about (re?)designing Windows so that the entire "Documents and Settings" folder can be copied, thus retaining all Outlook/Outlook express settings and data without having to do stupid import stuff? It's way retarded that you can't just copy over the "Documents and Settings" folder and have *any* confidence of having effectively grabbed all the users' data..

      Good one indeed, I'm not sure about other OS, but Windows and program for Windows store their settings everywhere. It's a daunting task to backup or transfer a user's configuration and data completely.

      Now you get soemthing in the registry, something under "\Documents and Settings", something under "\WINDOWS", something under "\Program Files"...

      While it's not all MS's fault, I think maybe they could have done something more to make it better.

    11. Re:Well... by Seraphim_72 · · Score: 1

      2) How about making the "Administrator" account - an actual administrator account? I've *never* gotten a "permission denied" error, when doing something as root on a Linux system. WTF??!?
      I have actually done this - a copy of Fedora will not allow even root to delete some files due to the secure linux part of it. It left be baffled at the time. Booted it with knoppix and nuked it from orbit, it was the only way to be sure. But it is possible.

      Sera

      --
      Slashdot, where armchair scientists get shouted down and armchair theologians get modded up.
    12. Re:Well... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      > That's a bit revisionist. Microsoft rode the personal computer wave. It didn't create
      > it. Z-80-based CP/M machines had already broken the client-server relationship and had
      > proven that stand-alone, even portable, computers would find business users waiting with
      > open arms. Those of us who were selling, ready-to-go with WordStar, SuperCalc, and
      > custom dBase applications, had already seen the future. It was coming no matter which OS
      > came down the pipe.

      Yes, but before MS-DOS and the "compatibilitization" it brought about, exchanging data or programs between two different computer systems, even if they ran the same OS, usually amounted to a weekend of hacking and hauling boxes about, plus a scope for good measure.

      After MS-DOS, you would just exchange floppies, or later CDs and USB sticks.

      People then got the frivolous expectation that their box should be able to read their buddies data and run any program they feed it. Nerds over the world are still fighting a losing battle explaining to everybody this isnt neccessarily so.

      The problem for Microsoft is, that with HTML, Java and now OpenDocument, people can now again get a box with any OS on it and expect it to just work, just as they do not need a copier made by XEROX Corp. to xerox a document.

    13. Re:Well... by mcrbids · · Score: 1
      I have actually done this - a copy of Fedora will not allow even root to delete some files due to the secure linux part of it. It left be baffled at the time. Booted it with knoppix and nuked it from orbit, it was the only way to be sure. But it is possible.

      FYI: When using the SELinux extensions, pay attention to `setenforce`. EG:
      # setenforce 0
      --
      I have no problem with your religion until you decide it's reason to deprive others of the truth.
  25. I believe him! by Eric_Cartman_South_P · · Score: 1

    "I have never, honestly, thrown a chair in my life."

    "I have never, honestly, used Microsoft's position as a monopoly in any illegal way to undermine fair competition or to fix prices."

    HONEST!

  26. Who Flung Dung? by http101 · · Score: 1
    The software maker will compete 'the good old-fashioned way, with innovation,' he said.
    CAUTION: WATCH FOR FLYING STOOLS.
    --
    -- Game Developers: Stop porting badly-textured games from crappy console systems!
  27. Sideshow Steve by geomon · · Score: 1

    "'I have never, honestly, thrown a chair in my life,' Microsoft's CEO said

    Right. All Chief Executives make these kind of proclaimations, sometimes just before they are indicted.

    He should have just ignored the issue. What is really imporatant is how Microsoft's stock has performed and how their product shipment schedules have been met since he took control of the day-to-day operation at Microsoft. Whether or not he threw a chair in a confrontation is a sideshow and irrelevent to running a multi-billion dollar corporation.

    Keeping his eye on the company's bottom line is the most important task he has, not responding to every disclosure in a deposition.

    --
    "Rocky Rococo, at your cervix!"
    1. Re:Sideshow Steve by Cromac · · Score: 1
      What is really imporatant is how Microsoft's stock has performed and how their product shipment schedules have been met since he took control of the day-to-day operation at Microsoft.

      I think even the biggest MS supporter would agree their stock performance has been very ugly since Jan 2000. It may be a fairly stable place to park your money but investing in MS certainly hasn't been a money maker for quite a long time.

  28. what actually happened with the chair.. by Vellmont · · Score: 1

    I have never, honestly, thrown a chair in my life,

    he added "Kicked across a room yes, picked it up and thrown it no." Who ever actually throws chairs? I've seen people kick chairs before, but never throw them.

    --
    AccountKiller
    1. Re:what actually happened with the chair.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Have you never heard of Bobby Knight?

      http://espn.go.com/classic/biography/s/Knight_Bob. html

  29. Four words by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    "Developers. Developers. Developers. Developers."

  30. the good old-fashioned way by zapatero · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Let me extrapolate on Balmer's Microsoft competes the "Good old-fashioned way":

        We will own more congressman and senators than Google, and then we will make Google against the law, and then make it illegal for them to index any Class-C address web-site, and then we will buy all Class-B addresses and then patent them, and make it so only Windows machines can reach a Class-B address. After than we will have our congressmen and Senators pass a law making IP-v6 illegal, thereby protecting our hold on addresses. Then we will go to Europe and outlaw X.25.

    That's just a good old-fashioned microsoft technology battle.

  31. Can we sue Google by RingDev · · Score: 3, Funny

    For not curing cancer?

    -Rick

    --
    "Most people in the U.S. wouldn't know they live in a tyrannical state if it walked up and grabbed their junk." - MyFirs
    1. Re:Can we sue Google by nekoniku · · Score: 2, Funny

      Only if it has scratches on it.

      --
      "It's a wonderful idea. But it doesn't work." -- Tad Danielewski
    2. Re:Can we sue Google by DarkHelmet · · Score: 1

      I will not by this rec... err, ipod... it is scratched.

      --
      /^[A-Z0-9._%+-]+@[A-Z0-9.-]+\.[A-Z]{2,4}$/i
    3. Re:Can we sue Google by Duhavid · · Score: 1

      Yes, you can.

      Note, you did not specify if you stood a chance of winning.

      --
      emt 377 emt 4
  32. Microsoft's big innovation by kerohazel · · Score: 1

    Ballmer's totally right, guys. Microsoft has always relied on innovation to compete in the market.

    After all, they *invented* Embrace, Extend, Extinguish.

    --
    Skype is too convoluted... Now I'm reverse-engineering the Kyoto Protocol.
  33. MSN as slang by Valacosa · · Score: 1, Funny

    "Hey, I MSN'd your mom last night."
    "This software is such a piece of MSN!"
    "MSN you, MSN-wad!"
    "It burns when I pee. I think she gave me MSN."

    Okay, I'll stop now.

    --
    "Live as if you'll die tomorrow." Ridiculous. You could die later today.
  34. Innovation by norminator · · Score: 1

    The software maker will compete 'the good old-fashioned way, with innovation

    So this speech was about a big change in Redmond?

    1. Re:Innovation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Ballmer keeps using that word. I do not think it means what he thinks it means.

  35. Definitions by DavidLeeRoth · · Score: 1

    I didn't know that innovation was defined as "buying small companies and stealing ideas in order to fund a monopoly" in the English language.

  36. What I want to know... by skids · · Score: 1

    ...is how he managed to dishonestly throw a chair?

    I mean, that takes talent.

  37. "People say 'I'm going to MSN you' in Holland ..." by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Have they really started smoking some bad sort of GM pot there, or why else would anyone want to say that kind of thing?

  38. Hmmmm. Would people here trust MSN? by hey! · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I've never tried Microsoft's search engine. This article made me pause a bit and ask why.

    The reason may not be entirely rational, but I just don't feel like I can trust MSN. It isn't just a blanket mistrust of Microsoft; writing a memo on Word doesnt' make me uneasy. I think the issue is that Microsoft has such an obvious lust to control the economic and technological ground on which information is created, processed, stored and distributed, my subconscious impression is that I couldn't rely on their search results as not having some kind of strategic agenda embedded in it.

    Of course, may not be wise not to trust Google either, but they are in the informaiton as information business, not in the business yet of setting themselves as the ground on which all transactions have to occur. The most important asset they have is user trust. In many ways, Google is the closest thing we have to the old newspaper business model: we give you information, and support that service by advertising around the information. Newspapers these days tend to be part of media empires with financial interests that go beyond the old fashioned cussede political biases.

    --
    Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
  39. Google the next Microsoft? by first_tracks · · Score: 1

    yeah, i know... flamebait written all over that subject title.

    Really, my question is... what seperates a *good* big coorporation from a *bad* big coorporation? I like Google. They are innovative and embrace simplicity and they are free. They are however huge and growing fast. What will keep them from succumbing to big, evil, capitalistic empire syndrome? Is it just a natural tendency for succeeding US businesses to do that or is there another way?

    Microsoft probably wouldn't be hated so much for their monopoly if they didn't write such crappy software.

    1. Re:Google the next Microsoft? by Eustace+Tilley · · Score: 1

      It was not being big that harmed Microsoft, it was being able to commit crimes and escape punishment.

  40. He wants to talk innovation? by Mistshadow2k4 · · Score: 1

    Well, I have thrown a few chairs in my lifetime. I admit it. Sadly, Ballmer is too far away for me to hit with one.

    Isn't "The software maker will compete 'the good old-fashioned way, with innovation" line a dead giveaway? MS does not have a good track record for innovation; history has shown them to be the company that comes up with software that does what already-existing software does. IE 7's tabbed browsing, for example. They're really, really late to jump on that bandwagon.

    --
    I dream of a better world... one in which chickens can cross roads without their motives being questioned.
    1. Re:He wants to talk innovation? by dratox · · Score: 0

      history has shown them to be the company that comes up with software that does what already-existing software does

      They don't even deserve that much credit. History has shown that Microsoft didn't even have their own homebuilt OS until Windows 2000. They BOUGHT (MS not included) DOS off of a Seattle company so that they could get a contract with IBM. After this, everything through windows 98 was more or less just a frontend to that.

    2. Re:He wants to talk innovation? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      will compete 'the good old-fashioned way, with innovation

      It's just a misplaced comma, was supposed to be "the good, old-fashioned way with innovation".

  41. obligatory JRRT by An+ominous+Cow+art · · Score: 1

    > The software maker will compete 'the good old-fashioned way, with innovation,' he said.

    In the language of Redmond, compete means spread FUD, and innovate means copy shoddily, that is plain.

  42. Parsing... by dangitman · · Score: 1
    I have never, honestly, thrown a chair in my life,'

    No, but he has thrown a chair in dishonesty.

    --
    ... and then they built the supercollider.
  43. From .sig rotation.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ....,probably pulled from here:

    "Look up "derivative" in the dictionary and see if that reminds you of how MS describes their "innovation"."

  44. Transcription error by wiredlogic · · Score: 1

    I have never, honestly, thrown a chair in my life

    I think there was a transcription error in that qoute. He meant something more like this:

    I have never honestly-thrown a chair in my life

    Meaning that not only did he throw a chair in a fit of rage but he did it with the smug air of dis-honesty.

    Honestly, people.

    --
    I am becoming gerund, destroyer of verbs.
  45. DISCLAIMER by Jonnty · · Score: 1

    The claim does not refer to the chair in question, nor throwing it.

    --
    Any grammatical or spelling errors above are for comic effect, and do not signify imperfection in the writer.
  46. Too late for them by Buran · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I'm sorry ... but MS has burned us all so many times that no matter what they say, I will never trust them again. I also don't like their attitude and the attitude of their staff (one of their reps described a tech support policy I find abominable, I said I'd never do business with their employer, the rep snottily said 'okay, remove all MS software from your computer', I responded that I long since quit using their crap and that I'm a Mac user... never got a reply. How predictable).

    They ignore antitrust rules (most recently, Microsoft Pulls Its Head Out), they make software that ignores standards (IE), they assume their customers are thieves and demand all kinds of crap from us to prove we aren't when no other major OS vendor does that, and they are a convicted abusive monopolist and should have been broken up but are still operating.

    Sorry, Ballmer. Sorry, Bill. You lost me a long time ago. You had lots of chances, and that time is way past over. You dug your own hole. Rot in it.

    1. Re:Too late for them by kuzb · · Score: 1

      [..]demand all kinds of crap from us to prove we aren't (thieves) when no other major OS vendor does that[..]

      Really? What about OS X on x86? Doesn't the operating system demand an Apple Mac branded computer even though the OS is perfectly capable of running on any intel x86? Be realistic here - license keys and verification are nothing new. Lots of software companies do it, not just Microsoft.

      --
      BeauHD. Worst editor since kdawson.
    2. Re:Too late for them by rsborg · · Score: 1
      Really? What about OS X on x86?

      You do know that Darwin...which can be run on the x86 platform, does not require any keys, doncha?

      Oh? you're referring to a non-released, completely beta test OS that Apple that apple ships ONLY in their development/test x86 boxes? The one they don't actually sell yet?

      --
      Make sure everyone's vote counts: Verified Voting
    3. Re:Too late for them by Buran · · Score: 1

      Yes, but I specifically had OSes in mind. An OS made for a specific type of computer (which isn't necessarily unusual or bad) isn't the same thing as one that assumes by default that you are a thief. I stand by what I said when I said that no other OS does that. All the others just install and leave you alone once they're running.

    4. Re:Too late for them by ZombieRoboNinja · · Score: 1

      "...They assume their customers are thieves and demand all kinds of crap from us to prove we aren't when no other major OS vendor does that..."

      To be fair, the other major OS options are either free (Linux) or built specifically for a hardware architecture that only the OS manufacturer produces (MacOS). So Microsoft is the only one who HAS to demand all that crap.

    5. Re:Too late for them by Buran · · Score: 1

      Nobody HAS to treat their customers like thieves. Who put a gun to their heads and forced them to do that? No one. So no one HAS to. I am not willing to accept automatic assumptions that I'm a cheat and a liar. I'm proud of who I am, and I'd rather be treated with respect. So I don't use their crap, in large part because of their unacceptable attitudes, just like I told the anonymous rep who got snotty on a discussion forum. It may have been a different unacceptable attitude, but it's not any better.

    6. Re:Too late for them by KillShill · · Score: 1

      except that apple ties its OS to their hardware... that's bigger crap than ms has ever pulled. well, until vista at least.

      if you buy a piece of software off of a store shelf, what business is it of the vendor to prevent you using it in a manner the customer sees fit?

      clearly, neither ms or apple wanna give you software freedom. to do so would mean they make less money. apple is only currently less evil than ms because ms if far bigger and far more abusive using the powers gained from its virtual monopoly. but if you look back, the apple of the 80's and 90's was not the kind bunny rabbit we perceive them today.

      proprietary software has far too many restrictions, real and artificial to be the ultimate inheritor of human computing.

      --
      Science : Proprietary , Knowledge : Open Source
    7. Re:Too late for them by KwKSilver · · Score: 1
      they assume their customers are thieves and demand all kinds of crap from us to prove we aren't
      Is it not just fascinating how the untrustworty/dishonest trust no one, assuming that everone else is just like them!? I have been watching MS act "the MS way" for ... 15 years or so now. However, if they started to be (NOT pretend to be) honest & stayed that way for ... 15 years or so, I'd be willing to give them another look. No, I am not holding my breath. Meanwhile, it'll be Debian & FreeBSD for me.
      --
      If you want your life to be different, live it differently.
    8. Re:Too late for them by goodie3shoes · · Score: 1

      Microsoft broke my trust when they insisted that IE was an integral part of the OS. I've been happily using Linux at home for years now. I don't need them. And I tell others. My colleagues were very impressed when I showed them Quake3 on my Linux box. And it seems, finally, that Microsoft is competing for marketshare now. A very healthy development for all.

      --
      BSA: "Would you like a free Software Audit"? me: "No, thanks. My software is all Free".
    9. Re:Too late for them by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      oh wow they treated a troll as a troll, how wrong of them

    10. Re:Too late for them by Buran · · Score: 1

      Yes, I understand the need for copy protection. I use software that has copy protections. However, Microsoft's methods are far too invasive and I don't agree with them, so I refuse to fund them and development and use of invasive methods by purchasing their software.

      There are methods that are acceptable and fair. Methods that treat your customers the way Microsoft's do are not acceptable and I feel that they're ethically wrong.

      I also know Apple's history, why they do what they do, and I don't have a problem with their methods. They haven't crossed that line into invasiveness that Microsoft has.

    11. Re:Too late for them by Buran · · Score: 1

      I at first thought you meant to say that you think I'm dishonest (I'm not), but on a second reading, I think you mean Microsoft. In which case, I agree! I'm a Mac user due to software needs that aren't met yet by Unix derivatives (plus, FreeBSD lurks under the GUI, which I love) but I look forward very much to the days when Linux does become a wholly viable desktop OS. I see that creeping closer all the time and I cheer it. Now if only vendors would be more proactive about providing Linux drivers -- and Mac drivers! A lot of stuff out there would be easily dual- or tri-platform if only the vendors would include the extra files on the driver CDs!

    12. Re:Too late for them by Buran · · Score: 1

      And Quake4 for Linux become available just days after the Windows version did (I haven't looked into a Mac version yet for me, but I'm sure there will be one since id is quite good about offering multiplatform executables).

      What drives me the most nuts about their claiming a browser to be part of the OS is that they were caught admitting faked evidence into court and seemingly never got punished for it; I certainly never saw them offer a patch for Windows that would actually remove the browser. I know their "program access and defaults" crap (I do tech support at work; I have to deal with Windows all the time, ugh) just removes the icon, not the app.

    13. Re:Too late for them by Buran · · Score: 1

      Plus, Apple is primarily in the hardware business, not software. The iTunes store exists to drive iPod sales (though I believe it now makes a profit and broke even earlier than expected; it was originally supposed to be funded by the hardware sales) and the OS makes their computer hardware appealing. So of course they won't make it generically available; they get the boost in hardware sales because of people who'd like to run the OS.

      No huge conspiracy here; it all makes sense when considering that Apple wants to sell hardware and uses its software to do that. Sadly, when the thread about a DRM chip in the test Intel Macs broke, I was the first one (according to one commenter to my post) who actually took the time to explain the hardware-sales angle instead of crying conspiracy...

    14. Re:Too late for them by CyberDruid · · Score: 1

      Have you seen KDE lately? It is good. It is very good. Improving all the time.

      IMHO KDE 3.5 is already a better desktop (for everything but gaming and perhaps Exchange-connectivity) than XP and on par with Mac OS X. Yep, Vista is coming and it might be better, but KDE 4.0 and Plasma are also coming.

      --

      Opinions stated are mine and do not reflect those of the Illuminati

  47. He is wrong by AeiwiMaster · · Score: 1

    No, He is wrong.

    Just go to google and search for: cure for cancer

  48. Holy Crap by doublem · · Score: 1

    Microsoft is in it deep now.

    Google IS working to cure cancer after all.

    I suppose this means the "OpenOffice over the web" and other rumors are true as well.

    Headline from 2020: "Google buys nearly bankrupt Microsoft"

    "We did it mainly to put them out of their misery" says Google CEO...

    --
    "Live Free or Die." Don't like it? Then keep out of the USA
    1. Re:Holy Crap by ShieldW0lf · · Score: 1

      Microsoft is in it deep now.

      Google IS working to cure cancer after all.


      From the bottom of the page you linked to:

      Thank you for your interest in Google Compute. The latest versions of the Google Toolbar do not support the Google Compute feature. If you would like to support the Folding@home project, please download the official Folding@home client.

      So the correct way to put it is Google WAS working to cure cancer, but they are no longer doing so.

      --
      -1 Uncomfortable Truth
    2. Re:Holy Crap by doublem · · Score: 1

      So the correct way to put it is Google WAS working to cure cancer, but they are no longer doing so.

      Wait, does that mean they cured it???

      --
      "Live Free or Die." Don't like it? Then keep out of the USA
  49. Vista doesn't trust YOU!! by RentonSentinel · · Score: 4, Insightful

    How can I trust an OS that doesn't trust me?

    Vista doesn't trust my monitor enough to stream my glorious Blu-ray DVD to the screen... so how can I trust Vista?

    1. Re:Vista doesn't trust YOU!! by KillShill · · Score: 1

      the answer is then simple.

      you use another OS that will let you view the HD content without restriction.

      the only problem might be, the studios won't let any OS vendor view their HD content without DRM crippling.

      so we'll have to wait and see.

      personally, any amount of DRM is too much. if a customer buys a product, any artificial restriction i would consider a product defect.

      --
      Science : Proprietary , Knowledge : Open Source
  50. Yes!! They're trying to cure cancer! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
  51. Next week's headline by dtfinch · · Score: 1

    "Google cures cancer"

  52. In Sweden - yes by ziggamon2.0 · · Score: 2, Insightful

    MSN is the number one IM client for young people here, and through most of Europe. MSN here is both a noun - "Give me your MSN" and somewhat less frequently a verb - "I will MSN you"

    But it refers to the IM service. Almost nobody I know uses the web site for anything productive.

    1. Re:In Sweden - yes by ziggamon2.0 · · Score: 1

      Also, during a trip to Europe, Steve was overheard screaming: "I'm gonna f*cking MSN that guy! I've done it before, and I'll go it again!"

  53. If Ash were in the room... by JackOCat · · Score: 1

    "Its a trick! Get an axe."

  54. democrats 1, republicans 2 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    "I am not a crook." -- Richard Nixon

  55. MicroSoft Shareholders by putko · · Score: 1

    MicroSoft shareholders (the owners -- including Billy Gates) don't care if Ballmer throws chairs. I just want that stock price, up up UP!!!! UP !!! UP!!!

    I don't care going google, froogle, joogle or shitoogle. I just want the stock price up.

    Clearly the chair story is driving him nuts, or he'd have ignored it, the way he should have.

    --
    http://www.thebricktestament.com/the_law/when_to_s tone_your_children/dt21_18a.html
    1. Re:MicroSoft Shareholders by Stupendoussteve · · Score: 0

      You forgot about gizoogle man.

  56. Google Cancer by Zevets · · Score: 1

    C'mon how hard would it be for google. Basically, they take the human genome, index it, then search for unusual areas in the genome to find interesting treatment options. Doesn't seem that hard.

    --

    Mod Wisely.

  57. If Google Cures Cancer by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    then Microsoft will copy it in an inferior way, that doesn't work as well, and claimed to have invented it themselves.

  58. Balmer says "honestly" ? by Spinlock_1977 · · Score: 1

    Laughing my ass off... After all the screaming and yelling and spin-doctoring that guy has done over the last 25 years, it's pretty tough to believe anything out of his mouth today.

    Personally, I believe the chair took a beating. How he justifies the statement that he didn't throw it... well.. he's been able to rationalize far greater lies in the past. The give-away: He used the word "honestly". Puh-leeeeze.

    --
    - The Kessel run is for nerf herders. I can circumnavigate the entire Central Finite Curve in a lot less than 12 parse
  59. Doh! by hellfire · · Score: 1

    That would be so damn cool if this wasn't added at the end of the page.

    Thank you for your interest in Google Compute. The latest versions of the Google Toolbar do not support the Google Compute feature. If you would like to support the Folding@home project, please download the official Folding@home client.

    --

    "All great wisdom is contained in .signature files"

  60. If Ballmer has never thrown a chair in his life by Nybble's+Byte · · Score: 0

    then I guess Bill Clinton didn't have sex with Monica either.

  61. I believe Ballmer in this one. by Spy+der+Mann · · Score: 1

    After all, the Chair-man was supposed to be Bill Gates!

  62. Summary by mjkelly · · Score: 1

    Microsofts innovative attempts to innovate the uninnovated industry will surely reinnovate innovators.

    I wonder how much money microsoft has spent researching the effects of constantly using the word innovate in everything they say.
    I mean just a quick /. search for innovation...
    http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/10/06/184923 2&tid=109
    http://developers.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/0 7/09/0654223&tid=109&tid=126&tid=8
    http://it.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=03/10/09/133 2219&tid=113&tid=128&tid=109

  63. Google & cancer? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    If you read the papers today, other than curing cancer, Google will do everything

    SHHH!!! don't give Google any ideas!!

    The software maker will compete 'the good old-fashioned way, with innovation,' he said

    innovation? since when has microsoft ever innovated? perhaps he meant "assimilation"?

  64. Why I don't use MSN Search by aasitus · · Score: 1

    Well, for me, it's nowadays just because I've always used Google. Why I did start using it, though, was, basically, the simplicity.

    MSN and Yahoo and what big search engines there are out there are portals. When you go to Google.com, the search is everything. MSN, Yahoo, the search isn't the main thing, it's just located in some small corner of the site. I've never paid much attention to it, but for my subconscious mind this gave the impression that the results aren't as good. While MSN and Yahoo have searches, for them it's just one thing among others. For Google it's the one and only thing they focus on, so it's prolly better.

    And now I'm so used to using Google that I'm not going to change. But I think that's why I chose Google in the first place. So it's got something to do with Google being an information company, but in a different sense :>

    1. Re:Why I don't use MSN Search by ashot · · Score: 2, Informative
      --
      -ashot
    2. Re:Why I don't use MSN Search by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      yeah, see. google search is just www.google.com. Msn/yahoo search is off in some subdomain

    3. Re:Why I don't use MSN Search by sapgau · · Score: 1

      Don't forget Amazon:
      http://a9.com

    4. Re:Why I don't use MSN Search by Duhavid · · Score: 1

      Innovation!

      --
      emt 377 emt 4
  65. Oh my gawd! by DaveM753 · · Score: 3, Insightful

    FTA:
    "I'm going to trust Vista on day one," Ballmer said. "I bet most people in this audience will trust it day one--on their home computer," he joked. "I'm trying to be honest among friends."
    /FTA

    Sure he'll trust it. He profits from it. I just can't believe anyone would fall for this line of B.S.

    Yeah, like he's one of our friends. And the worst part is, TONS of people actually DO fall for this B.S. There are too many sheep on this planet.

    Blah! Okay, I'm done ranting now.

    1. Re:Oh my gawd! by vivek7006 · · Score: 1

      And the worst part is, TONS of people actually DO fall for this B.S

      That explains why George W Bush won the presidential race.

    2. Re:Oh my gawd! by KillShill · · Score: 1

      he means "Trust" in the Insidious Computing sort of way.

      Trust to them means the computer will trust its real owners, MS and RIAA/MPAA/Software Industry.

      no wonder he was laughing... his friends are all lobbyists and shills.

      --
      Science : Proprietary , Knowledge : Open Source
  66. Microsoft to "compete on innovation"... by nagora · · Score: 2, Funny
    MSFT shares suspended.

    TWW

    --
    "Encyclopedia" is to "Wikipedia" what "Library" is to "Some people at a bus stop"
  67. Sour Grapes by nickscalise · · Score: 1

    Ballmer speaks: If you read the papers today, other than curing cancer, Google will do everything.

    Sounds like sour grapes to me. At one time, wasn't it Microsoft that was erupting press releases with similar claims? (Doing everything - not necessarily curing cancer) And by doing so, creating FUD and shutting down/forcing out all those other companies?

  68. Google Nightmares by .killedkenny · · Score: 1

    Gates and Ballmer continue to display this obvious inferiority complex when it comes to Google. They are extremely jealous of what they like to call Google's "honeymoon phase", as if Google's popularity is about infatuation rather than technical excellence, respect for users, and price.

  69. Just to spite Ballmer... by pergamon · · Score: 1
    If you read the papers today, other than curing cancer, Google will do everything.


    They'll probably start donating a bunch of cash to cancer research. I truely wouldn't be surprised if they did it, too.

    Though I can't see them setting up "caancer.google.com".
  70. An observation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Mr. Ballmer didn't ask Mr. Lee for an apology or a public retraction.

  71. Sure.. by slapout · · Score: 1

    and they're going to make an OS that doesn't crash

    and a secure web browser

    and all the other stuff they promised us...

    --
    Coder's Stone: The programming language quick ref for iPad
  72. chair throwing by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    "I have never, honestly, thrown a chair in my life,"

    What he means is that he hired someone else to throw the chair for him.... You don't actually believe someone as rich as he is does any manual labor??

  73. It's good... by Eric+Damron · · Score: 1

    "The software maker will compete 'the good old-fashioned way, with innovation,' he said"

    It's good to know that Microsoft is willing to try new things.

    --
    The race isn't always to the swift... but that's the way to bet!
    1. Re:It's good... by DuncMan · · Score: 1

      Man, if they're going to try to use _their_own_ innovation for the first time in their existence to compete... they're doomed. Simply doomed. I can hardly believe Ballmer fell that for that whole "freedom to innovate" scam.

  74. MS is going to INNOVATE? by pr0vidence · · Score: 1

    The software maker will compete 'the good old-fashioned way, with innovation,'

    And when, exactly, does Ballmer and co plan on starting this new business practice of comming up with their own ideas?

    To them I say GOOD DAY. MS lost my respect, and all possibilities of earning my money, years ago.

  75. Sorry, they do cure cancer by obli · · Score: 1

    ...Or at least trying to. Google compute helps folding@home out, which does some work in cancer research.

  76. How long til a video of toddler Ballmer is release by Dria+Rain · · Score: 1

    I can see it now, a home movie of five-year-old Ballmer hurling a plastic kiddie chair at the wall...

  77. Re: Google Compute/Folding@home by cyklo · · Score: 1

    The funny thing is, you're partially correct.

    Anyone remember this?
    http://toolbar.google.com/dc/faq_dc.html

  78. Re:Hmmmm. Would people here trust MSN? by KylePflug · · Score: 1

    I don't use MSN because my sites are invariably ranked higher in Google. Which means that Google is smarter. Because I am that cool.

  79. The truth about the chair... by powerlinekid · · Score: 1

    What Ballmer meant to say is that he has never personally thrown a chair. I mean come on, do you expect him to be able to throw a solid gold chair? Now that doesn't mean his minions weren't ordered to throw the chair.

    Plausible deniability.

    --

    can't sleep slashdot will eat me
  80. Screw cancer, what about bird flu? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Won't someone think of the pigeons! http://www.google.com/technology/pigeonrank.html

  81. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 1

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  82. You can pretend to be Steve Ballmer! by antdude · · Score: 1

    Click here. ;)

    --
    Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
  83. Balmer and the Hulk by FidelCatsro · · Score: 2, Funny

    There are far too many similarities to ignore .

    Banner Vs Ballmer , they both get mad , turn a funny colour and start throwing things around .. (They also both look like near hairless Gorillas )

    --
    The only things certain in war are Propaganda and Death. You can never be sure which is which though
  84. Google Compute by digitac · · Score: 1

    But the ARE curing cancer! Just look:
    http://toolbar.google.com/dc/offerdc.html
    Ok, so they don't list cancer specifically, but I'm sure it's helping!

  85. People say 'I'm going to MSN you' by rubberbando · · Score: 3, Funny

    And I respond with, "Please don't." (:

    --
    DEAD DEAD DEAD DELETE ME
  86. Innovation? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Innovation and Micro$oft don't go together.

  87. Google Toolbar Curing Cancer! by fbg111 · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Hate to break it to ya Steve old boy, but Google is curing cancer. The Google Toolbar includes Google Compute, which contributes unused CPU cycles to Folding@home, the Stanford research project on protein folding. Potential payoffs of the research include curing some types of cancer.

    --
    Flying is easy, just throw yourself at the ground and miss. -Douglas Adams
    1. Re:Google Toolbar Curing Cancer! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0


      Google is curing cancer

      ftl
      By turning on this feature, you enable your computer to work on complex problems when it would otherwise be idle.

      Google isn't curing cancer, you are, big difference

  88. An old pro comes in for the 57th round by FishandChips · · Score: 1

    Watching Ballmer in action really is like watching an old pro toggle up yet again for some feisty action with the pesky "competition". Others have long retired from the ring but, as the saying goes, this guy would cross the street if he thought there was a chance of getting into a good brawl.

    I guess, though, that you can battle some of the people some of the time and win. But if you battle all of the people all the time you will lose. At the moment, Microsoft seems to be in the second mode. Hardly a day goes by without them announcing some initiative involving their "innovation pipeline" (whatever that is) which means crushing competition in some far-flung province of the empire. Good old Ballmero, he'll still be fighting as they carry him into the Open Sauce Memorial Cemetery and he'll probably still be struggling as he reaches six foot under. I guess at least it will be possible to set a pin on the headstone using Google Earth.

    --
    Las qué passoun
    tournoun pas maï
  89. Microsoft can't compete on it's own turf! by chaim79 · · Score: 1

    Have you ever noticed that Google has a better indexing of www.microsoft.com and can find Microsoft articles better then MS's own built in site search? Check it out sometime: vbscript : www.microsoft.com

    Chaim79 was beginning to behave strangely, or rather, not beginning to behave strangely but beginning to behave in a way which was strangely different from other strange ways in which he more regularly behaved.

    --
    DEMETRIUS: Villain, what hast thou done?
    AARON: Villain, I have done thy mother.
    Shakespeare invents 'your mom'
  90. Google not curing cancer? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I don't know about that, they might work at finding a cure for cancer. They already have the Google Compute project working on protiens.

  91. Latest addition to my quote file by David+Gould · · Score: 2, Funny

    "I have never, honestly, thrown a chair in my life."
    -- Steve Ballmer


    I just added this to my quote file, and I'd like to humbly suggest that it'd make a great QOTD for Slashdot. (Taco?)

    --
    David Gould
    main(i){putchar(340056100>>(i-1)*5&31|!!(i<6)<< 6)&&main(++i);}
  92. You can't be serious... by idsofmarch · · Score: 1
    Consequently, I don't think it will be a question of whether or not we will be using Vista but merely how Microsoft will have managed to improve upon the mostly unimproveable experience of Windows XP. If they compete with anything, it will be their own sucess.

    There are three posibility explaining why you wrote this sentence:

    You mispelled flawed.

    Or, you spelled it right and are just really high. Really, really high.

    Or, maybe....hey everybody it's Bill! Bill, this is Slashdot, Slashdot this is Bill Gates.

    --
    Anyone who whines about being modded down should be.
  93. I remember that by geekoid · · Score: 3, Funny

    Steve: Whats over there?
    Me: It'a a credenza
    Steve: What's it doing?
    Me: Nothing, it's a credenza.
    Steve: I watch it, what's it do?
    Me: Nothing It's a credenza
    Steve: I grab it and throw it in the hallway.
    Me: ...Ooookay... Now what?
    Steve:Does it do anything?
    Me: No IT'S a credenza!
    Steve: I kung-Fu it's ass!
    Me: Like a chair?
    Steve: Hell Yeah like a chair! Except I'm going to fucking kill it! You HEAR ME credenza! I'm going to FUCKING KILL you!!!!

    or maybe I'm confusing that with another story.

    --
    The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
    1. Re:I remember that by shadowbearer · · Score: 1


        Ballmer's first MMORPG session?

      SB

      --
      It's old. The more humans I meet, the more I like my cats. At least they are honest.
    2. Re:I remember that by InsideTheAsylum · · Score: 1

      Give back your user ID, this isn't an MMO, this is a Table Top Dice & Paper game.. *sighs*

    3. Re:I remember that by shadowbearer · · Score: 1

      Jealous? :)

        Hey, I was playing D&D in 1983. Don't that count? *g*

        News Flash: Ballmer discovers MMORPGs, and vows that he won't give up the fight until he's throw a virutal chair at a troll :)

      SB

      --
      It's old. The more humans I meet, the more I like my cats. At least they are honest.
  94. 14:59 by Bushido+Hacks · · Score: 1

    Yet again Steve Ballmer thinks he knows everything. Sometimes I wonder if Steve Ballmer trusts that the cook at the sushi bar he hangs out at in Seattle doesn't spit in his food, especially after he tried to win over (and failed miserably) at trying to convince the Far East to join Microsoft's evil empire. I especially like the part where the former Nintendo CEO told Steve to [--something I won't say here because someone at Slashdot might not approve--] to which the Western Media manipulated it into a hoax. Right....
    It seems like every where Steve Ballmer goes, he ticks somone off or he gets ticked off to which the party that he is tick off at gets more ticked off at him. Now this new story comes along where Ballmer is throwing chairs like he's Bobby Knight.
    Ballmer needs to get a clue that the clock is at fourteen minutes and fifty-nine seconds for Microsoft and his carreer.

    --
    The Rapture is NOT an exit strategy.
  95. Aha! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Ninja skills... aye, that would explain his hatred of us pirate folk!

    Arrrh, matey, let's keel haul the blaggard! Just see that ye' be lookin' sharp. A chair through the head be not the sort of wooden leg befitting our kind. Y'arrrrh.

  96. Drug Addict? by syncomm · · Score: 1

    Is there any evidence, besides the obvious, that Ballmer is a major cocaine addict...

    Certainly would explain some things!

  97. MOD UP by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    +6 Post of Teh Funniness

  98. [OT] Has anyone ever yet made "Ballmer Kong"? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I keep waiting for someone to make a remake of Donkey Kong, but with Ballmer throwing chairs instead of barrels and doing the "Developers!" dance. Has anyone yet seen any spoof games like this? :)

  99. Liar by Master+of+Transhuman · · Score: 2, Funny

    'I have never, honestly, thrown a chair in my life,'

    You've never done ANYTHING honestly in your life, Steve.

    Can you say the words "lying sack of shit"?

    I knew you could.

    --
    Richard Steven Hack - This sig is TOO GODDAMN SHORT TO DO ANYTHING USEFUL WITH! MORONS!
  100. Replace Balmer! by programming-designs · · Score: 1

    Personally I think Balmer is an idiot. Bill Gates should take over again then maybe Google wouldn't have the right to think Microsoft is BS. I'm on Google's side now - I always take the smaller side as they tend to have more care about things, that is, until they become the big company then I will go with the next.

  101. In Russia... by griffinn · · Score: 1

    Vista doesn't trust YOU!

  102. Well...C&P User profiles by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    "4) How about (re?)designing Windows so that the entire "Documents and Settings" folder can be copied, thus retaining all Outlook/Outlook express settings and data without having to do stupid import stuff? It's way retarded that you can't just copy over the "Documents and Settings" folder and have *any* confidence of having effectively grabbed all the users' data..
    "

    [As administrator]
    Right-click: My Computer-->Properties
    Tab: User Profiles
    Button: Copy to...

    Pick a destination.

  103. That word... by Dwonis · · Score: 1
    The software maker will compete 'the good old-fashioned way, with innovation,'

    That word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

  104. When Will he Learn by oztiks · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Ballmer said Microsoft needs to continue to invest in research and development to deal with open-source software, Google, IBM and other competitors

    He sure likes to challenge the impossible, when will he learn OSS is not a business you cant make it go bankrrupt, when he faces the fact it will always exisit the better and _deal_ with it a bit more positivily and fairly you might actually find OSS developers actually using ms applications instead of trying to debunk it.

  105. And, Google is the top team by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Google #1 in folding@home, basically..

  106. Always the optimist... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The software maker will compete 'the good old-fashioned way, with innovation,'

    [Place disclaimer of forward-looking statements here.]

  107. NO! No, Ballmer! Not INNOVATION! by OwlWhacker · · Score: 2, Informative

    The software maker will compete 'the good old-fashioned way, with innovation,' he said.

    Innovation?!

    That's not the 'good old-fashioned way' of Microsoft that we all know and love!

    This type of thing (which occurred just the other day) is the 'old-fashioned' way:

    "Microsoft Corp., already under government scrutiny over its behavior toward competitors, told manufacturers of iPod-like portable audio devices that under a new marketing program they would not be allowed to distribute rivals' music player software but pulled back after one company protested." - [more]

  108. CP/M? by YesIAmAScript · · Score: 1

    As a former user of CP/M, CP/M-86, even the UCSD p-system that came out for the PC, I can say: CP/M was a drop in the bucket.

    Yeah, a few people brought up databases on it. dBase did start out on it, and CP/M was starting to perhaps make a name for itself, but MS-DOS quickly overtook it, and (later) IBM PCs wiped it right off the map.

    The Apple ][ had a much bigger impact on computing in business than CP/M did. Honestly, I think you could say Apple did more actual work to make the microcomputer revolution happen than IBM did. Apple took a chance and positioned computers for business before anyone thought it could happen. IBM did do a good job on their PC (relatively), but largely it took off because "no one every got fired for buying IBM". They were smart to jump in, but they didn't really start the revolution.

    Things might have been different if hard drives were affordably available (or even close) and easy to attach back when CP/M was making its way. But they weren't, and by the time they were big in the market (enabling a lot more databasing) the MS-DOS had solidly beat out CP/M and CP/M-86 and PCs and PC clones had already almost wiped non-PC-based MS-DOS machines too.

    --
    http://lkml.org/lkml/2005/8/20/95
  109. Nah, it was a desk (N/T) by someone1234 · · Score: 1

    Nah, it was a desk!

    --
    Patents Drive Free Software as Hurricanes Drive Construction Industry
  110. Sod Cancer.... by Genius_Cube · · Score: 1

    ...Were going to die of avian flu first! Google Flu anyone? Or why not just a miracle cure all?

  111. touched on...competition by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    You mean Microsoft and Google are having an e-penis fight?

  112. Doing everything... by jonadab · · Score: 1

    Papers: "Google will do everything!"
    Balmer: "Microsoft will do more!"

    --
    Cut that out, or I will ship you to Norilsk in a box.
  113. Never believe anything... by Vryl · · Score: 2, Insightful

    until it's been officially denied.

  114. I love quotes by clambake · · Score: 1

    "'I have never, honestly, thrown a chair in my life,' Microsoft's CEO said , "ALL of my chairs have been thrown dishonestly."

  115. Except in Nebraska! by generalbeard · · Score: 1

    I wish he gave this comment when asked the question about Microsoft.. http://www.ebaumsworld.com/ballmerwindows.html

  116. Re:Hmmmm. Would people here trust MSN? by Jokkey · · Score: 1
    I just don't feel like I can trust MSN.

    And that is a large part of the reason why Google's corporate motto is, "Do no evil." They recognize the importance of people's trust to their business, and they try to maintain it.

    As you say, Microsoft has not earned people's trust: breaking antitrust laws, spreading FUD, trying to bury any companies that get in their way, etc. I certainly wouldn't trust their search results.